attempting delightful flavour

@@velazquezarmouries and failing miserably

@@BandEater indeed

the auto-captions actually say attempted lmao

I think the idea is it's coffee with flavouring added rather than sweetner added....as my girlfriend who actually seems to like them was shouting at the reviews. Ingredients: Instant coffee, Flavourings. You add augar or sweetner to taste it seems.

and charged ridiculous amount s for it

Plus, there would be carbs/sugar/sugar alcohol content in Nutrition Facts, instead of 0.1g per serving like here. They’re 100% relying on people adding sugar/sweeteners after the fact to make it palatable.

@@TheXGamer969 Even though they boast about having no sugar. Friggin' marketing.

@@TheXGamer969 I purchased this coffee myself before even finding this video and experimented with multiple variations of milk, sugar and coffee ratios - you really can't get any flavour out of these things. For the price it's also a massive con.

Wait, so if you added your own artificial sweetener or real sweetener, the flavors might actually come out?

I bet Ashens was 'gassed' about it..

I look for that in coffee - does it smell of petrochemicals? If it does, 👍

Alex B oh, quit fueling around

That's actually a good description. I've had other shitty instant coffee before and I could remember the taste when he said that.

Big mugs are the future

I'd have said the mugs are overclocked for more performance

The best bit was that it was an out of date funny egg.

@@BobMonkeypimp I think he, and his stomach would disagree with that! His friend Barry had an in date one and it was apparently fine.

Imagine the jokes it would tell if it could speak.

@@BobMonkeypimp Out of date by, like, a 1000 years.

@@DrNoxin If your ancient Chinese delicacies come shrink wrapped in plastic you might just have been duped.

Nani!??

Makes you think what the hell they're putting in it then. The real question is who the hell wants popcorn flavored coffee?

@@OnTheArchipelago who's nani

@@girlsdrinkfeck my dad

@@Richter-89 I like popcorn flavored jellybeans, but not popcorn flavored coffee.

Well, look at them and then ask yourself if you can blame him.

The street Fighter 2 mug didn't have scane lines so i wasn't that impressed! XD

Daaad, I'm hungry!

*intense guitar music*

Hi Hungry, I'm Dad!

I want some coffee flavored coffee!

*little coffee mug jumps out the big one*

Well played, my friend. Had me hook, line and sinker.

Get out.

Say Beanies Beanies Beanies Beanies Beanies fast. It will sound like you are saying Penis Penis Penis Penis.

"Some of them could make cheap coffee worse...and yet sell better!"

Coffee flavoured jellybean flavoured coffee?😁

To clarify, that's cheap in quality, NOT in price. Apparently it's pretty expensive.

Poor coffee, always getting roasted :c

♥

condolences

@@slaughterround643 thank you

@@michellemcknight4185 thank you so much.

My thoughts are with you 💖 rip

why even mention that on the packaging, its just confusing

Honestly, better than if they had just used sugar substitutes, which taste of death.

@@hypotheticaltapeworm i dont understand how anyone can claim that artificial sweeteners taste the same as real sugar. i notice the horrible difference instantly.

@@guguigugu the only "sugar free" thing I'll ever choose over the alternative is gum.

@@hypotheticaltapeworm Nah. If you want to make a sugarfree food that is supposed to taste like something sweet, then put artificial sweeteners in it. It tastes different from real sugar, but it doesn't taste bad to me.

I eated the purple berries

all of the classis ralph quotes... many of them work.

Stephen Tumlin I start fires

@@kingjames4886 Thanks Super Nintendo Chalmers.

Capitalism. The companies want to keep their secret ingredients a secret (which sometimes means lab-created flavorings) and don't want anyone to replicate their recipes.

@@alyankfreak well, I doubt anyone is going to want to replicate *these* recipes, judging by how they went down!

Yep. This is the peak of humanity.

Insomniacs UNITE!🥱😆

Yuppp. Can't beat abit of ashens in the night

Why aye.

Nimmo1492 --- Pop down to Beanies and tell them Ashens has just destroyed their business. ;)

Same here Nimmo1492

Same here man haha

Same lel

I like it 🤷‍♀️

I find the hazelnut one benefits from half a spoon of sugar, I normally dont bother with sugar in my coffee though ^^'

I love hazelnut coffee and I agree. It is gross.

Every flavour is 100% shite. Fact.

Yes another Beanies fan. I find most of them are palatable and some are really lovely. But one or two are horrible. But overall a good brand of instant coffee.

I like Beanies coffee too. My favourite flavour is the Hazelnut flavour and my partner’s favourite is .. yes.. the Cookie dough flavour! I add dark brown sugar and whole milk to ours. I’m not fond of the Irish cream flavour

Please do send it to him I’d love to see those videos!

Clearly it's the homeopathic flavouring method.

@@mastermarkus5307 best comment

I mean, I've drank these a few times over the months and always added milk. Never been a problem

@@Inexpressable same

It probably doesn't taste nice with milk... Well in this case it probably tastes worse with milk lol

You act like humans are meant to drink the milk of other animals lol

@@jammpp969 I suppose we're not supposed to eat their meat either, then? No shit humans aren't supposed to drink animal milk. if we were supposed to drink it then that wouldn't make us a human, it would make us a calf or whatever young animal it is. We aren't supposed to drink their milk, but we do; it's not harmful and contains all essential proteins. So what's your point lmao.

Is that a review of every Kardashian born ever? 🤣

@@user-yv2cz8oj1k I'm not wanting to sound cliched but you win the internet for today.

but why

Is there some sort of chemical reaction or something? Why not add milk

@@sandow8575 Not entirely sure haha, I imagine it may have come with some sort of powdered milk already in it.

hey

I also tried the orange one. It was vile and my flatmates hated it even more than me so I had to chuck it out.

Watamote is great.

Mint flavoured coffee sounds like an abomination

I thought is had not much of a orange or chocolate flavour

Given how old and beat up the brown couch is, I don't think it would work well as an actually couch for sitting. Like if I remember correctly, the back of the couch is completely missing as the fabric was cut up into squares and given away as a kickstarter reward.

There's an episode by another KZfaqr showing the office building that the three sets of KZfaqrs rent together. Yes Ashens films this in an office and has done for a few years as this isn't their first place.

At one point he said it was in his dad's house, but that was years ago.

@@user-yv2cz8oj1k what video was this?

@@dyljaymac a video by nostalgia nerd, I believe.

Its almost gravy on the cheaper end of things

Like offbrand bacon substitute flavor

Almost a bouillon flavor right? I get that. What the fuck is that?!?!

@@suddenfootloss1337 are you sure you didn't pick up some gravy granules? The jars can be rather similar.

cheap coffee always does

How old are you now? 10?

Most of them smell unpleasant enough to trigger the gag reflex in me - and I have cleaned up in an abattoir with a steam cleaner, and the various sights and sounds in there didn't make me gag.

Exact same goes with the brandy snap flavour.

@@brianartillery Don't be ridiculous

@@brianartillery The chocolate orange one smells nice. Just smells like, well, chocolate orange.

Nyeh, ashens is one of the most British men in the Internet, but he doesn't consume leaf flavored water

Indeed, he does not like tea ;-)

That makes him the least British most British man on KZfaq. Not liking tea here in the UK is classed as a hate crime.

@@BobMonkeypimp no that's Ireland, the average Irishman drinks six cups a day, while the average Englishman only drinks 4

@@Crusader1089 that's to counteract the cold

They smell so much better than they taste.

@@khoo7732 true I bought the Very Vanilla flavor and it smells wonderful when I open the bottle. But after brewing it taste really crappy and you can't taste any vanilla at all. It's a surprise the entire product range reviewed highly on the online store I bought it from.

I got the cookies and cream one and it tastes grim tbh

They all smell fantastic. The taste, however... Not so much. I'd describe it as 'grim', too. And that's every flavour. The family member who bought them tried several, and binned them after attempting one cup. I rescued the jars, tried them, and returned them to the bin. Horrid.

Dead men tell no tales 1914 alright expert

@@joe-yj1bw This is common knowledge. There's always one moron that's afraid of self improvement through constructive criticism.

I did not know this. Is there anyway to mark how hot it might be through with out a thermometer? Like, would simmering the water get it closer to a temp that doesn't burn the granules?

my dick. i made the coffee.

over there

Every container of coffee gets a thick splattering of my jism straight from the factory

That explains the horrible taste

Crushed up mice

Considering a lot of those things were rotten... yes.

I don't get it.

@@HeadsetHistorian if you replace the space with a T, you get the word 'attempting'.

@@ashtonhoward5582 oh, that was well done. Thanks!

A tempting delightful flatvour?

@@TiberianFiend do you know how to read, friend?

@@gordon_shumway Not me

Try chocolate covered kidney beans.

Except that would probably taste kinda ok.

Well most beef flavoured crisps have been vegan friendly for decades. It was the non meat flavours that tended to be non vegan. 🤣

L wait really like what sour cream and chives or honey soy how can ya mess that up?😂

Except substitute beef tastes like beef.

jeb bryant underrated comment.

You'd really just be better off making normal coffee and buying flavored coffee syrups.

Yeah, the Syrups would be your best bet.

Ziggy Coxon --- You've probably only ever had bad quality coffee. Compared with today's teas, it's much more flavourful.

Seeing this video makes me glad that I despise coffee. 🥴🤐

@@Liofa73 yeah, a lot of people say that when they find out I don't like it. But I don't even like coffee flavoured chocolates, or anything that smells or of it, so it might just be it isn't for me.

No. I've tried it, and it made me retch, it was so foul tasting.

I'm guessing it's like in every cheap horrible food video Ashens makes, there's always at least one comment from some who genuinely thinks they're the best thing they've ever tasted. It makes me worried about their lives, if I'm honest.

is that why he's so damn popular while other english youtubers who review crap went to the wayside?

Percol's fairtrade instant uses 100% Arabica. The Columbian is very nice. I didn't like the Kenyan though

@@CaitiffPrimogen - Yeah there are some very rare exceptions to the rule. I know of Voila and Swift Cup. But they're all like $20+ for 5-6 cups. 😅 Are you sure that Percol's is 100% Arabica? Because the one I just found says "Finely ground Arabica" on the packaging, but in the description clearly states: _"95% instant coffee infused with 5% finely ground Arabica coffee."_ 🤔

@@TheMrVengeance From their website: "The majority of our coffee is made from 100% Arabica beans, however certain products - such as our Intense Espresso range - are a mix of Arabica and Robusta, as this is much better suited to an espresso blend. Arabica coffee has less caffeine than Robusta, but almost twice the amount of lipids and naturally occurring sugars, meaning it often tastes a lot better."

@@CaitiffPrimogen - Yeah, that "majority" is about their ground and whole bean coffee. Their instant is one of those "certain products" that is a mix. The mix being 95% Robusta and 5% Arabica. They even advertise the "PACKS A CAFFEINE PUNCH" on the instant (ie. it contains a lot of Robusta). Pretty misleading unless you know what you're looking for. 😕

um, no? are you 12?

@@kingjames4886 Nope, full grown adult that has never found a coffee that has tasted good.

@@MC-uc6ie have you tried a good espresso latte? coffee shouldn't taste like a donkeys ballsack...

@@kingjames4886 Why do you know what a Donkey's Ballsack taste like?

@@Dessan01 I like lattes. Caffeine and calcium in one fell swoop. If the coffee's good, it doesn't even need flavor or sweetener.

Same. I'm a fan of proper coffee but I do actually like these. Protip: you can prepare an overall much nicer cup from them if you disregard the instructions completely and make a latte with them. Brew an espresso-esque shot using 1.5 - 2 teaspoons of Beanies and maybe half an inch or so of boiling water in the bottom of a medium-sized mug, stir well to ensure it's dissolved, and top with hot frothed / steamed milk (requires a milk frother or steam arm, but you could also heat it up on the hob and use an Aerolatte for basically the same results for cheap... which also works amazingly for hot chocolates while we're at it). The sweetness of a more milky drink complements the rather unsweet coffee and brings out a surprising level of flavour. Some are better than others though. Cinder Toffee is my favourite that I've tried so far, and yes the Pumpkin Spice one was good too!

GreenMantaray Funny you should mention it, I believe Nescafé recommends 3-4 teaspoons pr. cup which, imo, makes it insanely strong. 1-2 seems more appropriate.

@@shiboomi2249 That's exactly how I do it too! I'm a big fan of "real" coffee too (although usually cold brew heated up with a dash of milk because if I did anything remotely elaborate in the morning I would accidentally burn down the house). My New Year's Resolution last year was to find my favourite coffee bean/ground coffee, and needless to say it's spilled into this!

@@Gasoline85 1-2 seems much more sensible! Especially when you're trying to detect flavours. A little dilution isn't always the enemy!

you should think more before you plan things...