I am not biased, I only speak the truth...

Ultramarines: "So, you can only have 1000 Astartes" Black Templars: "This says we can exceed that number if on a crusade." Ultramarines: "Yeah, it's so you don't have to continually replenish your troops when you're taking heavy and continuou--" Black Templars: _"There's no limit on how long crusades can last written here..."_ Ultramarines: *_"... ... Fuck."_*

Black Legion enters real space: Abaddon: "Alas, after centuries of slumber we have returned to tear down the Imperium and it's corpse emperor, an entire fleet of Chaos Legionares and demonhosts! All with the element of surpri-" *CRASH!!* Abaddon: "The fuck was that?" *From a distance* Sigismund: "Abaddoooooooooooon!!!!!"

“I should have paid more heed to the fact that the Black Knight, at a thousand years of natural age, could have stood toe to toe and matched blade to blade with practically any warrior of the Nine Legions. Age had slowed Sigismund, but all it had done was slow him to a level with the rest of us.” -A Sorcerer of the Black Legion describing what it was like to watch Sigismund fight Abaddon

“Hero of Helsreach!” The crowd cheered As if there was only one.

"Sigismond Had the best death." Rylanor, ancient of Rites, denies this as well.

Valrak is completely right. Ol' mate Siggy BODIED Khârn. Actual quote: "Khârn never even saw the killing blow. The sword edge hurled at him with all the weight of emptiness, all the speed of eternity - so magnificent in it's nihilism that even the great god within him could only watch it come." Sigismund canonically left Khorne himself dumbfounded with a display of swordsmanship.

Fun fact that was not mentioned: Them chaining their weapons to their hands is a gimmick taken from the World Eaters because Sigismund and Kharn were sworn brothers, which basically means they were best friends and Sigismund spend a lot of time in gladiator pits fighting along side Kharn.

Tonite on Ridiculous Gear: Kirioth shapeshifts into Valrak, Bricky discovers Valrak's Imperial Fist used jar collection, DK gets taken to a Greggs by force and Shy wonders who is supplying all these British Warhammer nerds.

As a young teenager in the early 2000s my first army was the Imperial Fists. Back then I just collected them because I liked yellow not knowing anything of their lore. Going through school I was really bad at English, but was really good at Maths and Science because I'm Dyslexic. Now as an adult I'm a fully qualified Civil Engineer. I design roads, bridges and yes even walls! Listening to this and the Imperial fists lore makes me realise I was always destined to be an Imperial Fist. Dyslexic Rogul Dawn and his team of Civil Engineering wall buddies. All like me 😁

Ultramarines: "Codex Astartes says you can't have more than thousand Space Marines per Chapter." Black Templars: "Screw you and your space book. We going to crusade forever and you can't stop me."

Black Templars: Fuck codex! Fuck Chapter limitations! Guilliman: Yes! Fuck all that noise! Black Templars: Stop agreeing with me!

I know Valrak is the guy for Fists but man did he miss some super cool Info: Sigismund basically being disowned by Dorn until the very end of the siege. Where Dorn basically said, My favourite son make them hurt like they hurt us. After which Sigismund 1v1'd every single other 1st captain from the traitors and won Grimaldus being the the only survivor of the Templars at Helsreach including the Emperors Champion, and those relics on his model are from the Church that dropped on him Templars chain thier weapons like World Eaters as Sigismund and Kharn were bros Just some of the cool stuff missed

Kharn vs Sigismund is one of the best duels in the Horus Heresy series, they were once best friends before fighting on opposite sides of the war. The entire duel is a battle of ideology between Kharn and Sigismund, both fighting to prove that their philosophy of war is better. Sigismund fought for duty and blind loyality, Kharn fought for the sake of fighting and the trill of battle. Kharn even has a vision of the future Black Templars in the middle of the duel and want to kill Sigismund to prevent him from founding them.

Valrak got the black Templar thing wrong. They got around the codex bc as long as you're on a crusade you can recruit as many people as you want. Hence why they're on an eternal crusade against the enemies of man. Also Siggy is one of *2* people Abby ever honored in death. The other is Reclusiarch Thalastian Jorus of the Blood Angels. During the 7th black crusade Jorus lead a squad of death company who where surrounded and basiclly stranded in a flank against Abby. They slaughtered his guards and Jorus dualed Abby and left him scars that still exist When the imperial went over the planet they found the typical stuff with chaos ruined geneseed and desecration corpses Except Jorus and his brothers. Their corpses all sat upon thrones built from black legion power armor

I think Helbrecht's general reaction to becoming primaris was "oh sweet, we can crusade even harder now!"

“There was one… small… tiny, little kinda bad thing that happened”, the Templars have one hell of a PR guy here.

Another cool thing about the Abbadon Sigi fight is that initially Abbadon tried to recruit Sigi, telling him that the legions bled to make the Imperium so they should rule it, not Terra or the Emperor. So he keeps making points and talking about how much he respects Sigi and hoped to spare him and fight with him at his side again until he gets hit with line: "You keep speaking, Ezekyle. Do I look as though I am listening?" Between this and the death line, signs point to BASED

"Black Templars, for the people who if you haven't prayed at least three times a day, you're gonna start praying out that airlock." -Bricky, 2020

That broken sword is the sword of Primus from Helsreach, a member of his squad who died suddenly and tragically in Grimmaldus' first battle as Rechlusiarc, he wears ormaments of his entire squad from that battle, who were killed to a man by orks

Here's why the Black Templars are so huge: according to the Codex Astartes, a chapter can ONLY have over 1k Marines IF they are fleet-based and in a Crusade, to protect themselves from being wiped out if too much of the fleet is destroyed. So they ALWAYS keep themselves crusading. Their fucking flagship is a Gloriana-class Battleship called the _Eternal Crusader_, for God-Emperor's sake! Bad. Ass.

Ultramarines: "The space book says this is bad." Black Templars: "WELL I CANT READ!" **Crusades forever** Ultramarines: **Shocked Pikachu face**

The Black Templars are living proof that Dorn a lot more like Perturabo than he is willing to admit

Roboute the bean counter: all remaining legions must adopt my codex astartes. Rogal "i have a support beam of a book law i read for fun" Dorn: Very well. *create a chapter filled with batshit insane templars lead by his sigismund* Dorn to sigui: i despise you for what you have done but: have my ship, those guys and this loophole. Have fun.

Adeptus ridiculous: Games Workshop has never ripped off another source. Me: *reading the Bible*

Tonite on Ridiculous Gear: Bricky becomes a brother chaplain, DK gets his head caved in for being a furry, Shy becomes too angry to die after she sees a little guy, and Valrak becomes the CEO of intergalactic racism

Inquisition: “remember you can only have 1,000 members” Black Templars: “🤓”

Rough translation of Sigismund's final words to abbadon: "I may be dead, but it is not I who smells of bitch in here."

By the time Sigismund was killed, he had gone from Dorn’s favorite son to the only one specifically kicked out of the Imperial Fists in disgrace, disguised as a promotion. Dorn had hated Sigismund since the man was forced to become Emperor’s Champion on Terra.

Cant believe they went over Sanguinius calling Sigi "death incarnate"

PURRGGGIIINN WITH MY KINNNN!!!

Sigismund isn't the superman of space marines, he's the Doom Slayer. He was so powerful and terrifying, The God Empiror himself personally declared him the Sword and Wrath of The Empiror!

I just want to point out something in case no one else has already mentioned it. In one of the Black Legion books when Abaddon is recalling his fight against Sigismund, he basically admits that the only reason he was able to win (remember that Sigismund still nearly killed him) was only because Sigismund had gotten old and was way past his prime. Just keep that in mind, if Sigismund had still been in his prime and not been so old, Abaddons empowered state wouldn’t have made ANY difference. Yeah, Sigismund basically was the greatest space marine to ever live. Heck, Sanguinius one time said that Sigismund was less Dorns champion, and more the champion of death itself.

You can exceed space marine numbers if you are on crusade. So they declared eternal crusade. Surprised valrak didn't go over how weirdly organized the chapter is.

I have no idea why, but despite this entire video being about the Black Templars… I never felt as if it was. I just kept thinking it was another Imperial Fists episode.😅

Gotta say having Valrak come on and playfully argue was very fun. I want to see Leutin defend the Ultramarines

"But the codex says we can't do th" "WELL I CAN'T READ!"

Necrons have 5 books: *complaining from bricky* Me a Daughter of Khaine fan: IM HAPPY WITH THE ONE I HAVE

An idea for the pins: it's an Black Templar and a Sister of Battle furiously typing on a keyboard with the caption "Competitive Racist." Then you have an Ultramarine on a joystick, and a guardsmen with a controller with the caption "Casual Racist."

Valrak: beep boop robots boring Bricky: and I took that personally

"I don't care who Rawbutt Girlyman sends, im not following the codex astartes" - Random Black Templar

Pin Ideas! 1. Dodge Vandire paws 2. A Little Guy 3. Cat Guardsmen going "Nyan!" 4. A pin of each of you making a "I am so done with this conversation" face.

Utterly delightful to see Valrak's Fists fanboyism taken down a couple pegs *chef's kiss*

On the "hiding" Custodes: They all took lessons with Creed and learned to hide behind lamp posts.

The space wolves do the same thing with their great companies, each one is technically a chapter

30:36 Helsreach NEEDS to be a book club episode. It is definitely one of the best 40k books

I'm pretty sure, at least going off of colour and the fact they're so murder happy as a chapter, the Black Templar are much more in line with the actual Teutonic Order then the Knights Templar. Especially considering there are two other Templar successors of the Imperial Fist, the White Templars and the Red Templars.

The Flesh Tearers are the loud red headed stepchild of the Blood Angels and I love them for it.

Calling Sigismund "Space Marine Superman" doesn't really fit imo. Superman's defining trait isn't being powerful, it's being nice despite that

me : yes! finally my boys! an hour later. me : wait, was this meant to be about the templars?

When bricky said "well he isn't here is he" my heart and mind broke Sigismund may be dead but he still lives on

Came to learn about the Black Templars. Learned almost nothing. Loved every minute of it. Would rate 5/10 for Dorn's finger count.

Nathaniel Garro is Best space marine. However, I must admit that I have a deep and abiding love for Grimaldus.

The way Kirioth feels about Imperial Fists is exactly how I feel about Tyranids. Constantly got crummy rules, still loved em, so anyone who got a new nid army when their codex dropped and says "I always loved Tyranids" gets a look of contempt from me.

This Chapter that I saw in the animation Furry Apocalypse with the Black Templar chapter was what got me in 40K to start with and I had been looking into 40K lore since. Favorite faction are Orks hands down.

You forgot the most important thing of all! "in the grim Darkness of the far future there is only War" is from Sigismund !

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/obGipJuLuKfJe6c.html Improved sound version. This ep was released with a slight sound error where Valrak was quieter compared to the other hosts, and while it's not unlistanable or anything it was a bit annoying. It has been fixed on all podcast platforms. On youtube however it's impossible to fix without a reupload, so here's an unlisted version of the new episode with fixed sound. Sorry about that :>

@9:25 - Bricky's laugh at the mention of Sigismund being the most bad ass Astartes ever... hilarious! I had the same exact reaction at the same time

Since you guys already did my favorite chapter (Lamenters), I never expect it to happen but I hope one day my other favorite chapter which is the one I play (Crimson fists) and my boys Pedro and Polux get covered! Love ya'll!

When they were talking about how and why the black templars are the largest loyalist chapter, there was a single line that just made me instantly think "WE'RE GOING TO MAKE OUR OWN LEGION, WITH BLACK JACK AND HOOKERS."

Black Templars are undoubtedly the most hilarious and over the top chapter there is, which is what Warhammer is really all about

Hearing them talk about how much of a bad ass Sigismund is only makes me want to see an episode about Lucius even more.

Ah yes, the "but it's actually a Maltese cross!" faction.

Don’t forget that in Battlefleet:Gothic Armada ll the ship that you ram with the phalanx, is a black stone fortress!

Are we going to ignore what happened after they killed the custodian? Their all standing around the body, this giant golden guardian of their own God. Even larger and stronger then they are. The individual hand crafted by the emperor's decree. Lying dead at their feet with a pool of blood slowly pouring out of him. What did they say to each other! Someone lightly kick the body, "umm, yeah he's dead. Oh shit. Well what are we supposed to do with him now?" The whole thing just goes off like that weekend at Bernie's thing where their proping him up for the cameras.

DK, that Megatron reference works on so many levels. Not only because the badass moment from the first Michael Bay movie but also Abaddon losing and then coming back all powered up reflects the Megatron-to-Galvatron arc in the OG Transformers Movie. Honestly I thought that's what you were referencing and I thought it was cool that comparing Abaddon to Megatron works on two iterations of Megatron.

Bricky collecting more guests in his walls than the schola progenium.

31:02 Andrej, you're talking about trooper Andrej Valatok, tbh my favorite character in that entire book. I mean Grimaldus barely survived having a literal cathedral dropped on him, and Andrej, when Grimaldus asks him if he was injured too just answers "I had a head ache, then it went away." LOL

Black Templars are more Teutonic Order than anything if I had to say which crusader order they seem to be based on.

Well, the Imperial Fists are the most stringent in following the codex after the Ultramarines, their the second most codex abiding chapter, the Black Templars also aren't the only ones who ignore it, also they use loopholes and such to try and justify it, though I'm pretty sure they outright kept it a secret in older lore so I'm not sure if their open about it now. The Space Wolves openly say "fuck the codex" and don't follow it in any way. The Dark Angels also follow it on paper but basically do what Valrak said the Templars do, all the Dark Angels Chapters answer to Azrael.

Quoth the Book "Maleficarum delenda est" by Battle Brother Tarkus (m38): "PURGING WITH MY KIN, THESE HERETICS WILL REEL. MY SWORD'S CHAINED TO MY ARM, SO BLOODRAVENS CAN'T STEAL."

Valrak saw the flashgitz furry crusade video and made it his entire persona

The Black Templars are not a collection of chapters like they said, what happened was when they were told that they couldn't have more than 1000 marines unless they are on a crusade so Sigi declared that the Templars are Forever on a Crusade which to this day has not ended.

21:00 ish Valrak talking about the Navigators and other Xeno and Witch/Mutants. The way TTS put it on their Black Templar Video Helbrect basically days they were planning to kill the Navigators last so they could actually get around and kill everything else.

I ordered my first Black Templar set and five hours later I see this on my feed. The emperor provides. 🙏

“Hey, why’d they need to clarify unbiased?” >Valrak “Ahhhh, it’s all coming together”

Look if there's a primarch that's illiterate, its angron

*The **_Codex Astartes_** limited chapters to 1,000 Space Marines. However, there's an exception: if a chapter is on Crusade, it may **_temporarily_** exceed this limit. The Black Templars found the loophole in Guilliman's restriction; they simply declared themselves on an Eternal Crusade (their flagship is even named this), allowing them to legally exceed the 1,000 chapter member limit. They number somewhere around 6,000 Space Marines.*

Daddy Dorn *moans uncomfortably in a defensive gesture*

“You are *Not* my son.” -Rogal Dorn to Sigismund right when the Horus Heresy began. I will forever love how of all the things said to Sigismund, that was the one thing that, for lack of a better word, haunted him for the rest of his life. Along with the fact that despite acting more like a Word Bearer than a Imperial Fist, the only reason he wasn’t banished by Dorn was because he was too useful to exile. Whenever Sigismund tried to get Dorn to accept or forgive him, Rogal just said “No” and that’s if Rogal even decided to acknowledge him at all. Sigismund never got back into Dorns good graces and it hung over him for the rest of his life. Probably didn’t help that he never once tried to course correct, he only intensified. I have no doubt in my mind that should Rogal return, he will do to the Black Templars what Emps did to the Word Bearers. Disown the entire chapter, take back both the Black Sword and Eternal Crusader, and tell them something along the lines of “You may have my geneseed, but none of you are my sons”. And then after telling the “truth” of the imperial cult that they worship he says that of all the Astartes loyal to the Emperor and the Imperium the Black Templars… like Sigismund with him and the Word Bearers with the Emperor… are the only ones that truly failed the Imperium, the Emperor, and above all else, him(Rogal). Because they turned their back on the Emperor’s decree by embracing Lorgars religion. And unless they repent and change course, they are now Renagade. And should they not repent, they will have a, as Dorn put it in tts, “chapter wide anger management session in the Great Rift.” I desperately want this to happen because of the character building Helbrecht, Grimaldus, and the chapter will have to collectively go through. As they will have four choices… 1: Repent and Reform. Using their brother chapters and following their example, they remake themselves as something new, but retain certain aspects. 2: Cry Heresy and become traitors, bringing the full might of the Imperium down on them(and get wiped out). Or get tricked by Chaos(somehow) and face extinction(both get the same results in the end). 3: Become a Loyalist renegade chapter and not change at all, but lose both Imperial support, and Dadorables good graces. Or be sent on a penance crusade by dad in the Grest Rift, ending the chapter forever. 4: Some combination of the three. Maybe certain groups going down different paths due to disagreements and the chapter being broken up. Creating all new sub factions. Also it has always disappointed me that their has never been a Emperor’s Champion character like Helbrecht, Grimaldus, etc. outside of Sigismund. Some that has been around for quite a long time or is one *the* definitive Black Templar characters. Bayard and maybe Lienhert are the only two other than Sigismund I can think of. Instead the chapter just runs through Emperor’s Champions like copy paper. Kind of a waste of good potential if you as me. And on the topic of the Emperor’s Champions, I read that the “Black Swords” aren’t all swords, but all 11 of them are a power weapon of some kind. With that in mind I world line to see one of these weapons as a power axe, glaive, spear, halberd, power maul, Thunder hammer, power mace, or even a power spear.

TTS Emperor got me to love the Imperial Fist PRASE BE THE SONS OF LORD ADORABLE

“There was one… tiny… small… kind of bad… incident that happened…where one of the crusades killed all the Primaris marines and the Custodes that was escorting them.” I literally laughed so hard I was crying the whole five minutes that segment went on. Bricks sounds pissed

35:13 He probably just goes up to whoever he's hiding from and shouts "YOU DON'T SEE ME!"

You guys realise we don’t care if each podcast goes for longer than a hour right? Hell I’d love 2-3hr ones if the content is there to fill it

U def need another on this one. like it was fun, but you covered less then half (even in broad-strokes) of each character you touch on. Like The High-marshals rematch with the storm lord!

Not gonna lie, this was hard to get through and usually I don’t mind the off topic banter. It felt like 20 conversations started but none had an ending… love you guys just felt disappointed with this one

Gotta be one of my favorite episodes by far with Valrak gushing over the sons of dorn and bricky trying to reel him in every so often.

lol, the ad started when Valrak was about to go on his 'here's why I hate Chaos' rant

I would love a MGS Revengence style videogame with Sigismund as the main character.

Space Marine: *Whole church dropped on his head* Orks: HAHAHAHAH! No, way that Space Merine gittin' up from that! *Space Marine slowly rises from the rubble and seems to be bigger than before* Ork: OMGFAMFDAGS$RASFDA!!!! OH LAWD!!!!!! RUNNNNN!!!! Space Marine: *Revs chainsword* I am surrounded by death and fear. *The slaughter begins a new*

The irony of me turning the newest Black Templar castellan model into an Asmodai conversion while listening to this

If Abaddon wanted to get back at Sigmund for that quote he should have said "When I get back to the wrap, I am going to track down your soul, and paint you pink."

Great episode guys having Valrak on here was such a joy! Hope to see other people for more episodes Like Baldermort for Blood Angels for example.

In my headcanon: Emps will return in some form _or_ Guilliman & the Boys start getting rid of Emperor worship, Sisters and Templars resist heavily, a separatist faction is formed, the separatists believe that they must save Big Emps from the heretical Guilliman & the Boys, a civil war begins and rages for some time, Big Emps comes back, Big Emps is high on power from all the mega religious separatists praying and praising like no tomorrow, Emps begins his journey to true godhood in the physical form, The Warp protests. Fill in the rest (Necrons win in the end btw but gl&hf in the meantime)

DK just on fire with these roasts man holy shiet! Looking forward if they just get in a vc and they all just talk smack about each other legion.

As far as the tabletop, the Black Templars have a secondary objective called "bathe your blade in the blood of your foe". It's not good but I'll never not take it just so I can keep saying it.

"Did the Custodes at least die painlessly? To shreds, you say? Well, how are the Primaris holding up? To shreds, you say?" I knew the BT were my enduring favorites for a reason.

How could Valrak forget Andre? PUT SOME RESPECT ON HIS NAME!

Templars be like: “They are called human rights for a reason!”

Black Templars: Yes we have one thousand marines one one thousand two one thousand three one thousand