Not to mention, I'm afraid of a secret plot to have the kid run off with bio dad, or her parents...

@@antithoughtpolice7497 Oh for sure, I didn't even think about that. That's definitely a real possibility when someone is terminal and wants to spite the ex for not forgiving their infidelity. All too often are children used as pawns or weapons in divcorces or domestic disputes, and add to that someone losing their mind because they're terminally ill.. yeah, supervised visits only is the only safe way to do it.

i thought it was more terrible that it was only once a week

I know this one woman who was cuckoo for Coco puffs who's kids were taken away because she was a druggie and was living with her pimp (she was a prostitute and the father of her kid was a drug dealer) she was a mess when it happened, locked herself in the bathroom threatening to kill both herself and her son (think the kid was barely a year old, maybe younger? Forgot how old he was) her pimp busted down the door and helped the police get her away from the baby (pimp might have been a drug dealer lord and had a whole stable of prostitutes but he did care about his kids and family) his sisters ended up with the kid (and the next two after that one.) So I understand that the woman in the video might take her kid with her.

as someone with cancer, may I say that this comment is just ignorant. We're not likely to go "crazy," we're as mentally stable as anyone else, and we're not more likely to harm our families.

And when everything is the result of her request.

He was just being emotional and most likely haven't sort out his own feelings probably just act out of common sense/auto pilot. He did end up telling OP everything after he calmed down

She actually did it perfectly, whether she intended it or not. She kept silent that whole time they were in the "honeymoon phase". If she had said something or pushed her brother in any way, the brother would not listen at all, and then years later he probably wouldn't have asked his sister to be the legal guardian. The fact that she just kept her head and intervened at JUST the right time was great. Well, I mean, great despite the circumstances.

I bet if it's a brother that told him to get that test, he will immediately getting labeled misogynistic

​@@kos2919Maybe, it didn't change the outcome of the DNA test.

I would argue shes the hero of sthe story lol, let alone the asshole. She saved her brother from a lifetime of lies. Imagine if his wife had died and he continued caring for a child that wasn't even his?

Exactly. Because they'll never learn from their mistakes.

​@@Gothgeek1997a mistake is something unintentional, they choose to be a horrible person.

I dont agree while I say you shouldn't risk it like all crimes there is a chance they will learn it depends largely on how it's found out and how they react. Again its a big risk don't recommend it I'd sooner recommend high stakes gambling

@@kingthe13😂😂 no they won’t cheaters never learn from there mistakes they will always do it again

@@Mitchell2311 theres always exceptions

I thought it showed how stupid the brother was.

I mean.. when you take care of a child for years you don't just throw the kid away after finding out they're not biologically yours. The child is just as much the victim in this. It actually surprises me that there's multiple reddit stories where the fathers never wanted to see their kids again after finding out they're not biologically theirs. Even kids who're teenagers already. I understand the pain of the lie, but this is the child you loved unconditionally for years. If that love just goes away after finding out their DNA doesn't match yours then you weren't really loving them in the first place imo.

​@Nathan_Bookwurm yep. But you got people going, "but the relationship was built on a lie" and such. America and many other countries were built on slavery, does that make them any less of what they are now. I respect people significantly more who do this compared to those who do what they are supposed to do.

@@Nathan_Bookwurmyou’re only looking at it from his perspective and how “sweet it is”. I’d be pissed if someone else was raising my kid and that my kid had their last name. That is not his kid. It’s the other man’s.

@@Nathan_Bookwurm The kid was only a few months old in this story. Considering the morality of the kids bio parents, guy was thinking of the kid. Seriously, the mom got someone in the hospital to break multiple laws.

Any argument a wife makes about how her husband should just trust her implicitly as his wife completely falls apart when you consider that the state of being someone's wife has clearly never once been a foolproof way to prevent an affair from happening. If anything, making that argument casts more suspicion on her, not less. Honestly, it should be standard practice for every single married man with children to get a paternity test done.

​@@radicaldreamer927 Also it wouldn't hurt for mothers to get a maternity test on the off chance that the baby got mixed up in the hospital... Apparently that happens a lot more often than you'd think...

@@diamondseraph9369 Agreed. Shit happens, and hospitals are by no means infallible.

Yeah, outside of that one story I've had personal experiences where a dude thought a kid wasn't his and multiple paternity tests proved otherwise. Those always suck because now the wife realizes her husband doesn't trust her and there's no reason being in a relationship like that. Just paternity test at the hospital while those services are readily available, get it out of the way asap.

@@readerdragon7783 Quite frankly, that says more about the wife than the husband. If she did cheat, and she doesn't come clean, how else is the husband supposed to find out besides a paternity test? Sheer happenstance? The fact that she didn't cheat isn't the point. If any wife reacts this way it speaks to a severe lack of empathy for the position that men are in. In that case, she should probably do some introspection before she can confidently say she's ready for a romantic relationship in the first place.

I have a saying : if one guy call you a horse, you can flip him off, if everybody is calling you a horse, you should go buy a saddle ! So if everybody is telling you someone is shady, this person is probably shady

The OP said "Used to be a nurse" so yeah she probably lost it.

​@@yozarahirvi4750 yup the brother literally brought it on himself. at a certain point you need to take accountability and responsibility of your own stupidity

Agreed. It would help with accidental hospital swaps too, and the costs are minimal these days.

@@kevinsullivan2153 Yes. We tend to assume that a child belongs to the woman because she carried it, but we are not aware of how common the theft of babies for trafficking or accidental exchanges is. A distracted nurse is what it takes. Plus, it can save a lot of relationships. I think that in general the majority of women believe that it should be mandatory (this is the feeling I get when talking to women in my environment and in conversations I read in online women's spaces). We understand that a man cannot be 100% sure because he does not go through pregnancy. Now, none of us like the accusation between the lines of infidelity for no reason. If I saw myself in that situation I would let him take the test, and when the result came back I would separate/request a divorce. I respect myself too much to be with someone who doesn't trust me or is willing to put me in the humiliating situation of being judged by the people who take those tests (I've read enough reddit threads to know how the women who went through that felt). That is why I am in favor of the test, but only after the baby is born (of course, I believe that by law a woman should be obliged to return the money if she has lied to a man during pregnancy and he has paid for things related to the baby ). This way, no one would raise a child that is not theirs, no one would go through the trauma of discovering that those people you love are not your biological parents, whether in adulthood or childhood, and a couple would not break up over having to ask for it, because if the government makes it mandatory, the need to require the test ceases to exist. Win win.

Omg, too much text. Sorry!

... mandatory maternity ? Why ? TO make sure the baby from your wife womb is hers ????

@@inihilisme1511 It seems that KZfaq has hidden a long comment that I left earlier responding to the first answer. I basically said that once out of the womb a baby can be changed/stolen. So yes, it is good to do a maternity test to make sure that the baby you brought home is really yours. It would also save a woman from being humiliated by the implicit accusation of infidelity and the judgment of others if both maternity and paternity tests are mandatory and are done together as a requirement to register a child. It would also prevent couples from breaking up. Women consider separation in those situations.

Cheaters always want to blame anyone but themselves

I always tell my wife trust is earned. If I ever ask for a paternity test and she goes “WHAT!?” I’m giving her the side eyes and go through with it even faster. None of that bs. You SHOULD want to prove your undying loyalty to your partner..

The story made it pretty clear the guy didn’t want the kid to suffer, if he doesn’t take it, the kid goes to a mom who’s going to die soon and then it’ll go to some random people who he won’t ever see as real parents, best case scenario for the kid is for OPs brother to fight for custody

​@burtreynolds8030 I see what you're talking about, but most people wouldn't keep the baby since it's a reminder that his wife cheated. Neither choice is wrong here though.

Affair partner is the father. (Hope op brother is not so stupid to believe the only cheated once lie). Have that one take care of the child ​@@burtreynolds8030

Yep! Doormat Op's brother. Never accept kid who ain't your seed.

​@@loneghostNot much of a doormat if he divorced her in the end.

All they had was suspicions with no tangible proof to back it up.

At the end of the day it's the dude's choice, and on top of that regardless of the woman's faults the child is innocent. I wouldnt want to see that child raised by the family that spawned that woman and that's likely where it'd wind up if the biodad is a deadbeat(shit,that might wind up worse than the grandparents)

@@bm5nmanp1 fair point… im harsh with my words but the men who stay after finding out are built differently and I can show some level of respect towards them for their action.

Story never said bio dad was a deadbeat only she chose op because he had the ability to support her better.

​@@luksvlogs1201well he's not staying with mother, he's just raising the child as his own. I think it really does speak to the sort of man he is.

Unless you're deaf, you don't need to stare at the minecraft stuff

@@C.G.Gaster😂

@@C.G.Gaster I wanna read along sometimes. I don't always but it sucks when I do

​@@C.G.Gaster Some of us DO have hearing problems, I'm only 32 but I have 50 percent loss in my right ear and 45 in my left.

@@2muchjpop for you and the other guy, put the title in your browser search bar and just read it there

He got attached I guess? I mean it's not the kid's fault that his bio parents suck

@@shadywolf6042who said the bio dad sucks it was just stated he didn’t have enough money so the wife didn’t choose him. He deserve to be in his kid life. The husband deserve to have his own family

@@devinetaemidgett4647 well for someone to sleep with a married woman you kinda have to suck. I mean I didn't say the guy was a bad guy just meant his morals aren't the best ya know?

@@shadywolf6042 I agree his morals was wrong but we all fail morally one way or another his folly of adultery shouldn’t determine if another man should raise his kid.

Pickle Rick it isn't the babies fault why blame a child for the mothers actions also a lot of men raise kids not biologically related to them ever heard of adoption not all men think like you and are happy to raise a kid that isn't theirs

Was thinking the Same

denial is a hell of a drug

I think they meant that asking for the paternity test in general could have resulted in a divorce

They could just be fighting over tue request.

Mom is likely to die, Cancer progressed to stage 3, and bio dad is likely not a good person.

​@@Olimar92😂😂

Cuz it's his child, not a dog? You can't just ship away a child after loving it for years. A parent's unconditional love for a child doesn't just go away when finding out you don't share DNA. Besides, we don't know the age of the child, but they got him after 1 year of marriage and the OP mentions multiple time that they've been married "for years" and "for such a long time" and even the bio dad had the time between conception to getting a girlfriend and married in that time. I guess he's probably between 3-7 years old, since OP also mentioned he's unaware of what's going on cuz of "being so young." I'm making that estimate because my 7.5 years old starts becoming aware of her surrounding a lot more than half a year ago. Either way, his son and him love eachother. Shipping the child away for a clean start will damage both father and child for life.

@@Nathan_Bookwurm love your reply

Because Op's brother is a du"" doormat. Who deserved everything he went through ,he has no Spine no self respect.

I’d say he’s a real man for putting his ego aside to give the kid the best outcome

@@burtreynolds8030 the kid bio dad is alive

⁠@@burtreynolds8030raising an affair baby doesn’t make you a real man it makes him a simp

I had a room mate who was a mess of a person, psychologically and morally. He said he had cancer. Never showed any signs of cancer or chemo. I seriously doubt he had it.

You need to know these facts: my parents met in January, wed in February, and had me in December. All in same year. Together until mom died decades later. So, say what you will, it's not a hard and fast rule. Especially in a small town [mom's sis did same thing, except their year started 45 weeks before my cousin's b-day.]

He still loved the child and was worried that it might come to harm if either biological parent had custody.

Because he is a good man and good men are OK with raising kids that are not biologically related to them also it isn't the kids fault why punish the kid for the mothers actions

@@Twilight24682 Still there is his biological father who can take care of him and what he is doing is just stupid.

@Gwynbleidd21 What if his biological father is not a good man What if he is abusive or an alcoholic you don't know the father

@@Twilight24682I disagree wholeheartedly a real takes care of his own children and don’t tolerate disrespect for a woman and the ultimate disrespect is raising an affair baby.

It’s called love, he took care of the child for x amount of time and even if he isn’t his biologically he still loves him and doesn’t want anything to happen to him. As mentioned in previous comments, terminally ill people sometimes would rather be with their child even in death, if she feels that she lost everyone (her husband) she might have done something to the child. Plus she is sick with cancer so how is she going to take care of her son if she needs to move in with her parents to take care of herself.

Blood doesn't determine your love for someone. If that were the case, people would be marrying their family members

It does,he's just in self pity. Men can never raise another's man kid, that's how we are biologically. Sorry! ​@@Saladass21795

@@jazzyblessing3267 The biological father should take care of his own child, or at the very least blood-related relatives.

@@JohnSmith-bs9ym logically yes, but OP already feels like he is this child’s dad and if he wants to take care of him, seeing as he makes a lot of money to spoil his wife I’m sure he can take care of the child if he wants to. We also don’t know the full story on what the biological father is even doing or where he is right now. Plus he is the father on the birth certificate and many courts even if you aren’t the biological father may ask you to pay child support because “you already formed emotional bonds with the child” so maybe OP has different reasons to want to take care of the child.

Why he is a good man who doesn't want to punish a child for the actions of his mother also he has raised him have you heard of adoption plenty of men adopt and raise kids not biologically related to them not all people think like you

Why would it be a punishment for a child to be with his biological father. The man committed adultery not murder. Adoption is children that are given up not paternity fraud.The man has every right to his child as long as he’s not abusive.

@@devinetaemidgett4647 How do you know the bio father isn't abusive or a shitty father not all fathers are good and if the bio dad was a good dad he would have tried to find the child clearly he didn't also the kid knows this guy he doesn't know his bio dad why send him with someone he does not know

@@Twilight24682 The wife lied and said the baby was the husbands. Everyone is a victim of her lies. The man can build a bond with his child it’s never too late. The only negative thing that was said was he didn’t make as much as him. The man was good enough for the wife to step out on her husband for he should be good enough to given the opportunity to raise his kid. Thank you for the discussion too.

@@Twilight24682because that’s HIS FATHER. His bio dad is the only one who has legal rights to the child