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Do I work with a narcissist or psychopath? Are they dangerous? What can I do to deal with them?
Sam Vaknin joins me on today’s Upgraded Ape Show to discuss narcissists and psychopaths in the work place. We start the show by defining these two personality types and we look at the traits of each.
The main difference between narcissists and psychopaths are the fact that psychopaths are totally dependent and do not require other people in their lives. However narcissists need others to feed their addiction to input from the people around them. Both types of people however are emotionless, non sympathetic and “pretty terrifying”.
How Sam became an expert
Next up I ask Sam how he became an expert in this world and a little about his journey from being diagnosed as both a narcissist and psychopath.
“I’ve been diagnosed with both - I’m a narcissists and a psychopath”
Sam explains how when he first started working in this area of psychology personality disorders were a neglected area of research and how things have changed in recent years. This is because narcissists and psychopaths are very difficult patients and so they’re tough to study.
“I would have found it pretty funny if you suggested that something was wrong with me. I’d have thought you were dim witted”
To put this into context I asked Sam how he went about getting a diagnosis in the first place and both times he was “coerced” into getting a diagnosis. Studies back this up in that most people who suffer from these conditions do not even know that they have them and so it’s likely more common than you would think.
Were do we meet narcissists and psychopaths?
Next Sam explains that narcissists and psychopaths are often found near the top of the corporate ladder, in show business and even in the clergy - basically roles where they have power and influence over others. There are many reasons for this including the fact that western culture actually rewards narcissistic and psychopathic behavior by pushing you to get to the top, to show off your gold chains in music videos and to idolize celebrities who constantly crave attention.
Interestingly narcissists and psychopaths don’t always have to be in the top position, if they can’t get their they can still get the attention needed by being slave like to those in the positions they would like and because of this they are found all over the corporate structure.
Are there benefits to having in your company?
I ask Sam if someone with these personally traits could actually be good for business. If they’re willing to do anything for the attention then perhaps they will work harder and longer than anyone else to get into a position where they can gain more attention which could be good for a teams productivity.
“Pathological narcissism is never, ever good for business”
Sam explains his opinion that “pathological narcissism is never, ever good for business” isn’t agreed with by many scholars who believe that these disorders can be used for good but then goes on to tell us why he firmly believes it.
How do you deal with them?
We wrap up the show by learning how to deal with people who are claiming your work is theirs, who you feel are manipulating you in the work environment and who you’ve recognized the traits of a narcissist or psychopath.
We talk about ways to give yourself leverage in the situation so that you’re controlling their reality and they have less opportunity to be able to manipulate you.