My favorite response to "you don't look sick/disabled" is to say "Well you don't look like an arsehole but we're all wrong sometimes"

Took a year for a dr to "HUMOR ME" by sending me to a colleague. Emergency surgery the next month to remove a cyst in my spinal cord. How ridiculous

When someone says "but you look fine" you have 2 options: 1) ask if they are accusing you of faking or asking what concealer you use 2) tell them of course you look fine because you're disabled, not ugly

I will never forget the feeling when my dr told me I didn't look like I have executive dysfunction. It was an excruciating effort to make myself "presentable" to leave the house for the appointment after 3 months of not bathing because of the worsening condition of my mental health. 15 years of documented mental health treatment and still having my complaints dismissed by my own doctor. It's soul crushing to not be believed.

The biggest challenge of each medical appointment is to adequately describe the pain without being labeled as drug seeking.

I'm a therapist, and since getting paneled with insurance, I've gotten SO many referrals from clients who first saw a doctor and was told that their symptoms were "just anxiety". Usually upon ruling out a panic attack, I end up having to refer them right back to the doctor to run tests. Therapists are taught that you can't assume something is psychological unless you've run tests to rule out medical cause, and so I often end up playing medical advocate and have to remind doctors of this until they run tests.

The internist said I was drug seeking. The gynecologist found a 2.5 cm cyst on my left ovary. Gotta love referred pain! 😂

HIGHLY recommend using something like the Mankoski Pain Scale, which has specific descriptions for what 0-10 mean. It includes details like "Cannot be ignored for more than 30 minutes" and "interferes with sleep" as well as painkiller effectiveness. On this scale, a 10 is unconscious, so you will need to show the scale to your doctor if they're not familiar.

Yup I remember when Lady Gaga came out and for a moment it seemed raising awareness would improve things, but no. Now lots of people have heard of fibromyalgia, but they have completely backwards ideas about what it is and doctors are definitely not immune. I get accused of faking constantly still but much worse are the ones who "believe" me and then try to take me off all my meds and put me on an antidepressant because "fibromyalgia is just trauma and you need to deal with your trauma" like I haven't been in therapy for 6yrs longer than I've had this condition. Currently fighting accusations I'm faking in divorce proceedings...it never ends 😔

As someone with Lupus/PSA I have heard it all from people when disclosing. People just don't care to hear it, unless they can judge what you did to cause it, badger you on why you won't try their magic diet to "cure" it, or tell you why what you are going through isn't an "excuse", or some other toxic-positivity nonsense.

I have type 1 diabetes and I just wanted to slightly clarify what you said about the relationship between diabetes and diet. It's true that diet choices can impact your chances of getting type 2 diabetes, but genetics play a huge role! And type 1 is an autoimmune disease, so what you eat actually plays zero role in whether you get it! It can be upsetting when people just assume bad diet = diabetes because it contributes to this narrative that people with diabetes deserve what they got (not saying you were saying that, but it's a popular narrative). That's why I actually appreciate celebrities like Nick Jonas being super glamorously fit (even if it's a little unrealistic for most people), because it gives people a different image of diabetes than the usual overweight person with an amputated leg

I suspect I have endo, and I am fed up of having my pain dismissed (8.5 years and counting). I can’t even get them to investigate properly. It’s hard to even talk about this to doctors in the first place as a trans man. 🙃

I would like to thank Jessica for the editing acrobatics it took to create this video with the many different Jessica voices that conveyed different persona that play a part in judging people with chronic illness. This was a fabulous video and thank you for speaking to this important subject!

Went to ER with double vision, doctor said my difficulty was subjective therefore not really an identifiable issue. After leaving, and contacting other doctors. found out I had the first symptoms of Myasthenia Gravis, and it could be seen given the incorrect alignment of my eyes. Long story short, it is hard to be unbelieved.

When my husband and I got married his medical coverage at the time said I needed to request and submit my medical records from my doctors. It was a hassle but I did what was needed. So I got to look at my records. I stopped seeing one doctor as soon as I read all the notes he had taken. He literally said in my records I was faking symptoms. There were test results that came back, tests that were ordered for me, that I was never told there might be issues. I had something for four years before another doctor caught it on blood work and said x might be a problem so they ran another test and went, yes you have x. Lets work on this. But my old doctor just brushed off my concerns and complaints. I was also told by him, many, many times that it was just due to it being "that time of month" and nothing to be done as it would pass in a few days. When I was seeing him I really thought that maybe a lot of things were just in my head. Because obviously the person who was trained would know better.

It took me 5 years to get any medical professional to believe I was having life altering symptoms. 5 years. When a Dr finally decided to shut me up by running some tests, they were surprised that I was indeed in great pain, and disabled. Now I finally have good medical team who both listens to and believes me, and pursues proper diagnostics and treatment. Welcome to the US

Been dismissed by doctors for years for my chronic illness. It cost me jobs and educational opportunities. For years I was told that it was normal because I was a woman and that I had to just live it. You have no idea how awful it feels to be told your medical condition is normal for a woman. I've been self managing for decades and it only sometimes works. My overall solution is to avoid people when the condition worsens. Women need to be taken more seriously for their health conditions. Just because my pain is low today doesn't mean that it is that low all of the time. We are not faking. We just want to be believed. Thank you for being awesome and reminding the world that chronic illnesses look differently for different people. It doesn't mean that you are not to be believed.

Per my doctor: Endometriosis can cause adhesions so strong that they end up stabilizing and your body adapts around them and they stop hurting- hence sometimes people can think they’re “cured.” And if you feel better I suppose it may as well be true… but there are so many variations of it and it isn’t well understood, feeling better doesn’t mean you aren’t being impacted. Believe yourself and follow up if symptoms bother you. The average diagnosis time is still about 9 years.

17:32 In the case of Selena Gomez, I think part of her "weight-gain" was her body maturing. When she first started in Wizards of Waverly Place, she would've been only 15 and it ended when she was 19. I got taller and bigger only when I was 19 or so. I think with celebrities there's an expectation for them to maintain their body type/shape well into their 30s and when she was in WoW she was fairly skinny (like a typical teen). Her now, (to be clear I think she still looks fantastic) she looks like an adult.

I want to say, I really appreciate what you said near the end there. About the effect of poverty on chronic conditions. I'm homeless and live in my car. And I'm diabetic. When I'm able to use a kitchen to cook healthy foods (such as today, I'm thankfully at friends' house) I do better. Luckily, it's not bad enough to require insulin. But when I was diagnosed about a year ago, I was living with some friends and the initial improvement actually impressed my doctor. She even acknowledged that I would probably be able to get off the one medication I'm on (Metformin.) But I had to go back to car-dwelling (as planned, my friends really didn't have space for me) and it was hard. Ready-made foods are less healthy AND more expensive than whole-food ingredients.

I do exactly what you said about the pain thing. I have chronic pain in general and in my own head i've learned to downplay in such a way that it allows me to function most of the time even when very bad. Due to nasty side effects for some medical treatment, i had a 5 week long period. So bad I ended up in A&E and having to take 2 different blood clotting meds. When i was in the room, I was explaining it was very painful, and they did the 1-10 scale and so I say it's a 9. They seem shocked, as I was sitting there like normal, completely able to talk to them. My flatmate was with me, and he stopped them when they asked are you sure, pointed out I have chronic pain and in order to you know, live, I'm very very good at masking. So he explained all of the signs of pain he saw in me when at home and comfortable, and they finally did examinations and gave me treatment. I feel like people who dono't have chronic pain, just don't understand how much we work to show we aren't in pain. It becomes a habit that is incredibly tough to break, so having that support from someone close to you is incredibly helpful.

"So you know... the royals in brittain are doing great!" - I shouldn't laugh but that delivery was perfect

As someone with bipolar disorder, ADHD and PTSD, and clearly only one trauma since everyone knows you can only have just one (kidding ofc), and as an advocate for people with mental health issues for 14+ years, I have obviously never been accused of lying about it for attention, and have no idea what you are talking about 😑😅❤️🫠 Jokes aside, thank you for bringing attention to this in a kind and responsible (and funny) way, it is so needed, especially from someone who understands and knows what it's like. It brings more reason and kindness into this crazy world of ours 😌❤️💕✨🍀

My mother had Parkinson’s disease. She was diagnosed when she was 36 years old. I was 4. I remember as a kid never staying at family functions for long, once her tremors started we would leave. She hid her disease for much of my younger years. But later she began speaking out, when I was 13 she even went on an American day time talk show along with her Doctor who was a leading expert of Parkinson’s. When I was in high school I was taking an Anatomy/physiology class and she came in and talked to the classes each hour about Parkinson’s. For years after students who were taking that course would see me and ask how my mom was doing. When Micheal J Fox came out with his diagnosis, it really changed things. My mom was always open to talking about her disease but it took a long time for her to get there. But even then she hid just how difficult her day to day (sometimes hour to hour) life was. I was her full time care giver later and being her voice was at times a up hill battle. Being a woman as well making my voice heard was a challenge. Fortunately for much of my mom’s time when dealing with this disease my father was always there as her advocate and making sure her voice was heard. No one can know what is going on with someone behind closed doors. As the saying goes you can’t understand until you’ve walked a mile in someone else’s shoes. Give others the grace you would ask for yourself. Thank you Jessica for talking about this and also sharing some of your own experiences and struggles. ❤

Another important aspect of this issue is that some people "translate" their attitudes about celebrities to common people. Ignorant comments about Selena's body may not be super hurtful in a vacuum (her manager, probably, reads them) but they build a culture in which it's acceptable to say such things. Tomorrow, a cashier Wendy will hear it and she's less equipped to deal with public negativity. Today, you tell Bella Hadid the Lyme disease isn't real. Tomorrow, you tell an old lady at the bus stop it isn't.

My tip is always try and take a guy into the room with you, just to nod when you're talking. Doctor are more likely to believe your pain and symptoms if you've accompanied by a bloke 🤦. Other tip is to dress up. Neat hair, smart clothes, makeup if you use it. The halo effect makes them more likely to listen to what you say, and follow through with the blinking care pathway they're met to. It sucks to have to attend every hospital appointment looking like your going to a job interview but it does work.

14:55 - I hope House is still a relevant reference because that’s the gif I sent everyone after my latest panel of tests confirmed that my exhaustion/pain/etc is not caused by Lupus.

Ages ago, before I knew about my chronic conditions, I was sick and running a fever. It was a high fever - over 101 F. I remember some jerk telling me I couldn't be sick, I had such a healthy glow. I yelled at him that what he called a 'healthy glow' was the flush from my fever. People need to learn to mind their own business. Thank you for this, Jessica!

Jessica! I wanted to let you know that my professor linked one of your videos in my college Human Sexuality class. It was so surprising and lovely to see someone I have watched for years involved in my class module. She linked the "My wife is not an angel" video. It made my heart warm to know everyone in my class was watching the video, and hopefully coming away with a better understanding of interabled relationships. ❤

I’m FtM, was diagnosed at 16 with endometriosis, and started developing symptoms of PCOS (but not yet diagnosed) at 20. My weight fluctuates a lot because some days I literally cannot get out of bed, the pain is so bad. I’ve been told HRT treatment will help (which is awesome because it will also help my medical transition). But I have yet to hear back on if my insurance has approved this… Same insurance told me they will only pay for vocal therapy if I was not diagnosed with autism. I don’t tend to comment on videos, because replies scare me, but seriously, thank you Jessica. This really helped. I can tell from all the other comments on this video that it’s helping to validate a lot of other people with chronic illnesses as well.

If it/they aren’t hurting me, I have no right to complain/compare/criticize.

Loved the trio of Jessica’s but the last 45 seconds were just outstanding!

Any time I try to talk to my dad about the symptoms I have, and that I want to be tested for things (like Autism, pots, eds) he accuses me of self diagnosing. And in the case of autism, literally said it’s offensive to my brother who is diagnosed. All I wanted to do was talk to him about whats going on with my life, the things i have many symptoms of… I cant even talk to him about anything. I’ve been struggling with chronic pain and dizziness and other things for a while, and I’ve tried so hard to get my doctor to do something. I on,y recently learned the symptoms of pots, and I have a lot of them, like heart racing when i lie down, then being dizzy when I get back up, which is the main one that has caused me to want to be tested for it.

I have had horrible migraines since I was 11. A manager I work with has been telling people he thinks they aren’t real. It sucks having chronic pain, people can’t see it, I can’t prove it unless I want to bring in 30 years of medical paperwork. I hate having to tell people about it. But also having to defend myself is utterly absurd and deeply hurtful. On top of being in pain all the time I have to deal with people who accuse me of making it up.

As someone with several autoimmune diseases, sometimes I worry what people must think about my visible symptoms. People can be so rude.

Thank you so much for posting this. I have Chronic Lyme and Bartonella. Lyme and tick disease are not just spread my ticks but also spiders, fleas, and mosquitoes. Birds are the biggest spreaders through migration- ticks attach to them and drop off when bloated. Testing is inaccurate and outdated.

Not taking about people you don’t know and don’t know what they are going through 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

I'm from PA (Lyme capital of the world) and have had Lyme ~3 times. My brother got it once and it almost killed him. Another person I know got it once and it destroyed her central nervous system, completely and permanently effecting her life. Another was paralyzed. It absolutely is a mysterious and unique infection. Check for ticks always after being in grass or woods

If we need proof that we humans do not actually have control over our own health, weight and general appearance, this is it. These celebrities have money, time resources and motivation (their appearance is literally tied to their ability to be hired and do their job) and even they cannot prevent cancer, weight gain, aging, chronic illness, etc. So can we get off each other's backs about all these things that are not under our control EVEN when we have access to all the best treatments and preventative care?

Cruelty infuriates me! Thank you for another video on this topic, Jessica! I was diagnosed with lupus 45 years ago and it meant a lot to me to see Selena Gomez talk about it! And she’s positively brilliant in Only Murders in the Building!

Legit even if Jameela Jamil did have Munchausen's, that is a real illness in and of itself, and people with it often do end up actually ill from unnecessary medical procedures and/or harming themselves in order to induce symptoms. Munchausen's is more tragic than often portrayed - I just read a case report of an older man who developed it following the sudden death of his son. We should always default to compassion.

YEARS ago, as a kid, i remember a lot of people at my school gossiping about MJ and how he got a lot of plastic surgery and all the usual gossipy nonsense around that. It was only years later that I came to know that a big reason for all the makeup etc, (and iirc his song "black of white") was his struggle with vitiligo. the crazy part was, imo, one of my classmates HAD vitiligo and he (like MJ) had otherwise dark skin (vitiligo is more obvious on people with darker skin). We all knew what it was, or at least experience with it.

Thank you for including endometriosis and the current trend of patients being told to 'just eat right'! ❤

just put in my two weeks at my job after (multiple other things but this definitely was part of it) a coworker INSISTED all my medical issues were fake because I mentioned my doctor "thinks I possibly have fibromyalgia but the diagnosis process is too expensive to look into right now." one singular undiagnosed thing I mentioned in a one off conversation was enough to now invalidate all my actual written on paper diagnoses. Yay.

Thank you for making this video. It‘s never okay to comment on people‘s bodies without their consent especially when shaming (commenting negative). It doesn‘t matter how famous you are or what gender you have.

As someone with surgically diagnosed endo, the “pain is a part of being a woman” was so normalised to me, and still affect me even now. Despite getting surgery, I still have seemingly random abdominal pain (much milder than before but still uncomfortable) and it’s so hard to understand what’s “normal pain” or not. I’m glad I moved to a country that seems to take women’s pain more seriously (one of the few things that is actually “progressive” in South Korea) but it’s still a very real issue. Also, please, if your period pain is causing you to vomit or faint, please please see a doctor and look into a diagnosis and don’t act like it’s “normal.” It is not and not only does it affect you, but “normalising” debilitating pain can actually be detrimental to awareness of chronic pain. I delayed diagnosis for endo because I was convinced my pain was “normal” (it was not) because “at least I haven’t vomited from the pain…”

I’d just like to thank you for how amazing the closed captions are. I can tell you did actually put effort into creating them or used money to hire somebody to do it for you. So many creators, even with millions of subscribers (Mr. Beast and many beauty KZfaqr) don’t do that

I wish everyone would stop body shaming EVERYONE! I did watch the video, im just agreeing

Being believed is a whole side topic on another youtube channel I follow. The channel is about leaving Mormonism but one member has endo and gives advice about bringing a spouse, parent, or male friend/relative to advocate for you to force the doctor to take you seriously.

i never got why all the hate for selena gomez she's not a bad actor, i've liked everything i've seen her in outside of the disney channel. do people just hate young women that much ?

I just saw a documentary on Selena last week and I think she’s pretty great. Body shaming anyone is simply WRONG. Lord knows we do enough damage to ourselves.

The editing in this video is amazing and the effort put into it needs to be appreciated

I really appreciate that you talked about body shaming. It's something I've dealt with frequently after an anti-depressant medication caused me to gain more than 5 stone in 7 months. Even doctors treat me differently and blame my physical health issues on weight gain, despite the fact that my health was bad long before the weight gain (and I now finally have a diagnosis of EDS!)

this is especially important considering that the ongoing SARS-CoV-2 pandemic is making a lot more people chronically ill (even as they downplay it as us being lazy or not wanting to work, in hopes that we'll get back to the office and keep making money for the shareholders). *just a PSA that if you are chronically ill--or if you don't want to become chronically ill--one of the most powerful ways to protect yourself is to keep or resume masking (N95 or better), cleaning the air with HEPA/Corsi-Rosenthal boxes, and staying up to date with your boosters.*

The first time I can remember dealing with how dismissive people are of pain if they can't see what's wrong, I was probably 12 or 13 and I'd been experiencing what I still believe is a tendon issue. The doctor took X-rays, told me my bones looked good, and sent me home. Good to know that bones are the only part of the human body that can be responsible for pain.

You talking about Ehlers Danlos syndrome helped a good friend of mine get diagnosed. Neither of us was familiar with it beforehand, and having a name and a description suddenly made the list of weird and seemingly random symptoms into a "wait a minute..." moment.

I think part of the issue with Americans being unkind to ill celebrities is that they have access to the best doctors and always get their medications. I think there is a mindset that its not possible to really feel "that bad" when you are so used to seeing you areused to seeing your friends and family unable to get any care at all

I have suffered from problems around my period since my late teens. It got worse over the years. When I was too sick to go to work for 2-3 days every month I finally looked for professional help. The first thing I tried helped great for 6 months and then gradually worked less and less. In January this year my OBGYN told me I was listening into myself too much and that only ignoring my symptoms would help after the first pill made things much worse. Basically she told me it was rather psychological. Fortunately found a different professional who was willing to try something else which is working so far.

Can we take a minute to adore how beautiful all the outfit and hair styles are that she put in here?! Must have taken forever, especially the editing! I am stunned! She is stunning ❤️

I LOVE JESSICA! She makes me feel so warm and welcomed with every video 🥰

I always appreciate you acknowledging the existence of nuance because it’s often dismissed when a solution works for one person - there are too many factors to consider when trying to apply what works for one person onto another, especially when their circumstances don’t allow said solution to be as attainable.

I saw this a lot unfortunately with “fans” of Hunter x Hunter, who accuse the creator of being lazy bc he keeps putting the story on hiatus due to health issues.

Both Jessicas look gorgeous! My goodness what a wardrobe!!! Telling people their bodies are not meeting your standard is ridiculous. It's not punching up, it's just mean.

THANK YOU for putting the message out there! I have had so many issues with body awareness. Four years ago an emergency back surgery severely damaged my spinal cord which resulted in many chronic issues - including needing a wheelchair and a lot of pain medication. And these medications caused me to gain a lot of weight. The judgement I have received since then - also from medical professionals - is truly, truly humbling. And I was a nurse before the operation myself. For years doctors more or less ignored my back pain. It’s „normal“ for nurses to have back pain. Well, even as it is - there could still be severe medical issues like for me. When it was finally discovered is was too late and I had to undergo a very difficult emergency surgery. The outcome could have been so much better if it would have been diagnosed earlier. I just wish for people to take pain seriously - and especially for medical professionals.

This reminds me of a time where I was really struggling with my depression and there was just so much content about "high functioning depression". It just made me more sad that all the attention seemed to go to these people who seemingly still managed to do all these things while suffering from depression and I could barely do the day minimum (basic hygiene, clothes and a meal, preferably something very filling because I had energy only for one meal, if possible cook for two so I had leftovers the next day).

I have endometriosis and the amount of bizarre things people have said to me about it is boggling. The main one is to tell me that getting pregnant will cure it because their friend's cousin's wife's whoever had it and it was completely gone when they had a kid. The one that really got me though was a nurse at my medical practice who basically told me that a lot of my problems, especially with pain would be solved by losing weight. I'm on two different contraceptives to try to alleviate the symptoms and I've been roughly the same weight with very little fluctuation for almost 20 years. Somehow, I don't think that's going to be the miracle cure-all you think it is.

2 people in my family as well as myself have lupus. For all 3 of us it also causes major swelling. We’ve all had it on our faces, abdomens, and legs. We’ve had people who were quick to talk about how much weight we gained and then lost it. We know we look larger we don’t need judgemental commentary on it. I’ve always felt terrible for Selena for that.

As some one with lupus I still get the occasional "joke" that it can't be lupus, so that bit of House is unfortunately still a thing.

17:50 Bothers me too!! I am hanging on your lips instead of going to sleep rn. I am on a clock, and need to be somewhere on time tomorrow...but I just love to hear someone say, what I want to say all the time. It's so so great that you stand up for all of these celebs.

Loving the dynamic between the three different Jessicas. Getting a Contrapoints vibe almost. Would love to see this fleshed out more in future vids

Lovely Jessica, what a wonderful video. The only thing better than one Jessica is three Jessicas! I have a goddaughter who recently got a lupus diagnosis, and hearing about her fight to cope with a malady that seems to change every day and has treatments but no cure is disheartening, to say the least. At least the people in her life seem to have believed her that something was wrong. How terrible to be suffering and to have people think that you’re just malingering. And yes, _House_ references will always be relevant.

That last part 😢 💜. Thanks I needed that reminder today. Sending positive vibes and spoons to those that need them

THANK YOU so much for taking the high road in the cesspool of internet female body commentary. It is awful and we should all stand up for body neutrality; we all are lucky to have bodies, they all look different, we are allowed to exist in them, take photos in them, like them for ourselves, and just NOT CONSTANTLY BE MICROMANAGED in them. I don't care if my body is 'right' or 'wrong' to anyone else, I just want to be treated with dignity.

the outro🥺🥺tysm i really needed to hear this

love the new way to film where you answer yourself, very dynamic

Thank you for talking about this intersection of ableism again!! Address it each time. People should not have to explain themselves.

My brother in law got Lyme disease from walking, he left it a while because he thought it wasn't that bad, and ended up with minor liver damage by the time he got seen. The target on the back of his leg was a noticeable symptom he just ignored because he couldn't see it that week and the tick was long removed.

Love your videos Jessica! I have lupus, endometriosis and Raynauds which is quite challenging on top of my adhd and autism diagnoses - quite a few people I know ask me about Selena Gomez and the weight thing just makes me so mad when they mention it. I usually get the comments “but your weight doesn’t change like hers” and I have to remind them that one line of treatment for lupus is one line of treatment - whatever Selena is on is probably different to me. The fact she’s in the states and I’m in the uk will also make a difference to what meds are available too. Selena has been good for getting information out there but I remind people that these celebrities do in fact have money and easier access to healthcare unlike us regular folk. Thank you so much for all the information in this video - I’ve really enjoyed watching this one and probs one of my favourite videos you’ve done! Love all the outfits and the 3 Jessica’s they made me chuckle! ❤

Love your videos, and I love how you covered this real issue with the conversations around celebrity health and privacy. Also that green dress or top with the sleeves is STUNNING! I would love a spring closet update.

Watched this while dealing with a pain flare and I have to say, I really needed this. ❤️

I have a script for new doctors that can be edited according to the length of the consultation. I always make sure I leave an obvious detail or two out, because if I'm too correct they might think I'm making it up.

Love hearing you spread awareness about social determinants of health! 👏🏻🙌🏻

Thank you for making this content, we all need these reminders!!!

My mum’s sister told my Pop (while he was dying of cancer) that I was faking my disability and health issues because “Nobody can be that sick” and “Nobody can have that many illnesses at once” 😐 Fast forward a few years and she recently had a go at my mum because (in her opinion) I was avoiding her and am so disrespectful 🙄 Edit because I forgot this bit: I was told by a rheumatologist that I couldn’t possibly have seronegative arthritis because I’m too flexible. I have a history of being a bit hyper mobile 🤦🏽‍♀️

Have RA, fibro, LS, Hashimoto's, and now CRPS. Have been using a knee scooter at work. Got called an inspiration. Wanted to curl up inside and die. I'm just trying to survive.

I really enjoy the 3 Jessicas format ❤

Not me holding back tears throughout the video but sobbing at the end T_T thank you for all the love, wonderful video as always (and dang looks like it must’ve taken a looottt of effort)

You are doing such great work here. Thank you.

That last part made me cry. Love you Jessica ❤

Jessica, this was a faaaaabulous video! Thank you so much for posting it!

I had to get checked for endometriosis a while back and I was so nervous, because my doctors office can be a bit sceptical sometimes and luckily I had a new doctor. Initially he said I was too young to have endometriosis BUT later that same day he called to correct himself, saying I should come back because he did some additional research and age wasn’t as relevant as he thought it was. I’m very happy he did, because when I went to check they couldn’t find anything, but the rule of thumb in the Netherlands is “if it sounds like endometriosis we treat it as endometriosis” so they might’ve caught it before anything could grow on my ovaries. I think my doctors were very aware of medical sexism and that awareness meant I was taken seriously every step of the way. It’s so important that people know about it. Medical sexism is one of the scariest things there is and though I’m glad my experience was positive, I shouldn’t have to feel relief because I was believed.

16:57 The number of times I've been told: "you can't possibly be autistic, you look phenomenal" (as if autism isn't the very reason Makeup became one of my special interests/fixations for such a LONG time, like I'm gonna look great a lot of the time) or "you don't have an autoimmune disease, you're so put together and not complaining about physical pain" (lol I complained the entire way there, and if I complain they call me a buzzkill. 🙃) Like... Goddamn it people, EMPATHY.

Back in my webcam days guys would regularly tell me that "If I looked like that I'd kill myself."

I have Crohn's and was dismissed from when I was like 9-20 because it didn't show up in obvious tests. I was a teenage girl so I was always told I was overreacting, that I looked fine and all that. I was constantly asked if I was pregnant or on drugs or had an eating disorder (all valid concerns but they never seemed to consider that I might just genuinely be sick). I almost died when I was 18 and had to have emergency surgery and they were still saying they couldn't figure out what was wrong. My surgeon was really horrible to me and only became nice to my boyfriend (now husband) because he found out he was a scientist! I have to bring my husband to pretty much everything in order to get treated better. It's ridiculous. I was only able to get my diagnosis because I paid for a one off private appointment with a doctor who was really nice and went through everything. He immediately referred me back to the NHS for the tests I needed and is still my doctor to this day. Shout out to Dr Q 😆

Glad you brought up the situation with Princess Kate! I felt bad for her having to go through all that public scrutiny when going through cancer is tough enough! Sometimes I would wonder what kind she might have, but it's also not my business! It's like we forget sometimes that the royal family and other celebrities are still people. I also love what you said at the end about how we only show the "highlight reels" of our lives. I personally like my privacy when it comes to medical things but I know others have their reasons they might want to share, and neither is wrong/bad.

I've dealt with various issues since middle school that became worse in middle school and high school that were just brushed off as "Being in my head" or because I was going through puberty or female. As an adult I was told it was because I was a woman of child bearing years. In my early 30's I finally found a doctor that has taken me seriously. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Dysautonomia, and we are scheduling with a neurologist for some other issues my doctor feels are unrelated to the dysautonomia. I cried when I finally felt heard because despite living with my body every day, if I had even a single good day I started to believe maybe it was all in my head. It's been a long road and we're still walking it, and I get questioned by people all the time because I don't "look disabled".

Definitely needed this video today ❤

Wonderful video Jessica 😊

Hi Jessica. I loved your video today. Illnesses also effects people different ways too.

3:07 Well that says something about our society! If I saw someone was drastically losing weight my first thought would be to be concerned for their health, and think they either had an eating disorder or a wasting disease.