how many of us who are disabled, queer, and neurodivergent?

The only thing that scares me about this connection is the people who will use it as an excuse for eugenics. The diversity of the world is what makes it better. I am autistic, nonbinary, and bi. I am unlearning my own biases, and learning to accept myself slowly.

when i mentioned to my therapist that i not only had eds but likely had an autoimmune disorder, she simply said, "yeah, that makes sense. basically every other lgbtq client i have also has an autoimmune disorder. seems to me it only makes sense when you're subjected to so much trauma." (she is also queer, btw, so it was said lovingly/caringly lol)

Even when Prides and LGBT+ events say they are accessible they can often mean it in a really narrow way. They have disabled toilets but don't have ones with hoists, they say there aren't stairs but it's up a big hill or there are cobbles. I'm chair of Exeter Pride this year and I'm determined to make it ACTUALLY accessible!

In my friend group of 4, 2 of us have physical disabilities, 4 of us have mental illnesses, 4 of us are neurodivergent, and 4 of us are queer with 2 of us being trans as well. And we didn’t find each other through lgbtq+ or disabled groups, we all found each other organically separate from our identities. So everyone saying its rare is very silly

Ah yes, that reminds me that one time I came out as asexual and my classmate was like "but isn't that because you're autistic ? Autistic people don't like sex" and boy, I really wanted to yeet him out of the window.

To help people at Pride events, look at how Disney World does it. I once visited Disney World while using a wheel chair. I have chronic fatigue and can’t walk or stand for long periods. Disney had personnel specifically trained to help the disabled. For instance, when my party approached a ride, we were escorted to the front of the line (The glares!) When we entered a small theater to view a video on a large screen, they literally ordered people to move so I could see from the chair. These service personnel were stationed all around the park, and seemingly came out off the woodwork to assist. With a little training, volunteers could make events accessible and enjoyable.

I got bullied out of a rural queer group for pointing out the inaccessibility of the majority of the pride activities. Also for being bisexual, fem-presenting nonbinary & therefore not visibly queer. But mostly for saying stuff like 'um, you know that stairs are not even remotely accessible, and it's not like this town (flat as a pancake btw) has a lack of accessible venues for pride events' and 'could you possibly do more low-stim events than the annual picnic, because that cuts out neurodiverse members and it's not so family-friendly'

The person who told Jessica straight up that she "hasn't gone through any trouble in life" so she's just making up ways to be marginalized.....can you IMAGINE being that silly

😂 Doctors don't seem to care about my trauma, so I (AuDHD, Pansexual enby/agender woman) started telling them *exactly* what the "accident," that caused my injury was. I genuinely love how uncomfortable it makes them. TW: DV A guy I was dating picked me up by my neck and threw me across the room into a wall. It really screwed up my spine. I genuinely love making doctors uncomfortable with that because (here in the US at least) we're taught to keep quiet when we're abused, and that the victim of that abuse should be ashamed for having been abused.

So important to give the message of TELL AN ADULT about bullying and keep trying 'till someone stop that. Thank you, Jessica!

I’m bisexual with crippling C-PTSD. 🤔 I never really thought about this. Do you think people with disabilities also end up with a “I don’t give a damn what people think.” Trait that takes them out of the closet? Because I definitely see that in myself.

I ended up physically disabled while gaslit and discriminated against for being an AFAB neurodivergent person. I almost died at 22 from a tumour the doctors refused to scan for because "it was women's problems" or "probably just a burst ovarian cyst". I got sent home from the ER twice while barely able to walk. I was lucky my dad's neighbour was a doctor and snuck me in for scans and he found a grapefruit sized tumour and massive amounts of inflammation and needed immediate surgery. If I'd been left another few weeks he said i could have died. So now i have an autoimflammatory disease and a number of other health issues instead of that promising future i had ahead of me. AND after they found the tumour i got tested for pregnancy so many times even though i told them i wasn't having any sex with *men*

As a queer disabled I saw the title of this video I saw "Oh of course" most of my friends are also LGBTQ+ and disabled. I've been talking about the intersectionality of disablity and everything I can for years (espechally LGBTQ+ issues). This is a really important topic and i thank you for talking about it!

I really feel you on being careful where you discuss your same-sex partner and how your kid refers to their parents. My wife is trans, I'm cis, and because of our living situation during our son's first few years he calls her dad. Because of the area where we live, I catch myself saying "my spouse" and not "my wife" frequently, I'm careful about asking our son where dad is when we're all out together depending on how safe my wife is feeling. It's exhausting and unfair that we have to constantly think about how we present ourselves when we're not doing anything wrong. We just want to live our lives and not deal with bigots.

I’ve been queer, medically disabled, and autistic my whole life. I think about this question a lot. I sometimes come to the conclusion that when you’re different in one way, you might just be more likely to be different in others than “typical” folks. I agree with everything else you said too.

The amount of people that have told me I don’t “look blind” because my kind of blindness doesn’t look the way that people think blindness should look. And then they’re even more surprised when I tell them I’m also trans.

Pansexual, non-binary, vascular EDS, dysautonomia, autism, ADHD, celiac, Hashimoto's thyroiditis *Wooo* (I have bucked no stereotypes ♥) Growing up in Texas as a queer atheist was... sure something. C-PTSD is awful, but I am now an immigrant in Canada and it's so lovely sometimes it's surreal. I watched an interview a few years ago from a Russian lesbian in the face of their government discrimination - and she said something about fleeing Russia that stuck with me after the harassment in Texas; "You get either a sense of home, or a sense of safety. You don't get both."

As someone who's queer and experienced different forms of disability/neurodivergence throughout my life, I feel like part of it is the fact that when you're *already* ostracized or looked down upon for one aspect of your identity, you're a lot more likely to embrace those other aspects of yourself which aren't considered societally acceptable.

A reason that doesn't seem to be considered here, but that might explain a lot... The kind of people who are homophobic are also typically abelist. Perhaps it's not that there's more overlap between disability and the LGBTQ+ community, perhaps it has something to do with the homophobes being less likely/willing to identify as disabled. I've seen plenty of them (whatever category you want to put hateful people in) who clearly had serious physical/mental/emotional struggles, but would never admit it. Kinda like how malignant abusive narcissists rarely seek mental health services because they don't see anything wrong with themselves. They're clearly mentally ill, but they aren't included in mental health statistics because they don't get help.

I grew up playing wheelchair basketball and most of the lesbians I knew were from wheelchair basketball. I know that's hardly a random sample, but it always made me wonder if disabled women found other women more accepting and not put off by disability in a romantic/sexual partner.

You covered many heavy topics in this video. I had to watch it a couple of times to get all of it. What struck a cord with me was having to assess if it is safe for my family to say “my wife” in public. Something so simple that my straight married friends can say without a second thought, is something that literally can be life threatening to us. It is getting better, but it is still there…☹️

5:37 God, that's so true! I've hidden my low mood and bouts of intense self-hatred due to internalised homophobia from my parents for years, because I thought they would validate my discrimination towards myself and disown me. Turns out, my mom thinks that my tendency to doubt and blame myself is unhealthy and is really supportive of me when I'm too hard on myself.

As someone who is both disabled and gay, and also - let's just say somewhat past my ''best before'' date - I have also started to worry about elder care. I am lucky in that I have some family members who are understanding and accepting, but also others who are emphatically not. Since I'm single it's probably a moot point, but part of me still wants to be acknowledged for who I am regardless. My biggest fear is that I develop dementia, or otherwise become unable to live independently at some point and end my days being preached at. I have warned my family that I will come back and haunt them if they make my twilight years a misery by trying to force me to repent.

My sister was gay and had medical disabilities starting in her early 20's. And when I started watching this video, my brain starting thinking about her friends, partners, etc. who were gay and had medical issues. Yeah, a lot of them did. I never connected those two things before.

I'm bi and nb, and also have chronic illnesses (and I actually watched this video while laying on the floor bc I got too dizzy)

Totally understand the self consciousness as a parent in front of new people. My wife only socially transitioned to woman, I can feel the difference when we were out as a family as compared to when people assumed she was a man.

I was at a gay bar once and noticed that no one was talking other than the friend I brought and myself, and then we realized that everyone else in the entire bar (seemingly) was deaf and they were all having conversations in ASL. It was honestly amazing and a beautiful sight to see so many people have a sense of community where they otherwise perhaps wouldn't fully.

I think accessibility isn't generally at the forefront of your mind a lot unless you personally know someone who needs those options. For example, I have a disabled parent who generally needs access to ramps and lifts to get into places but someone who doesn't know anyone who needs those accommodations may not think of them.

Yesssss read the paper in front of you docs!!!! LGBTQ+ disabled older person here but disabilities started when I was around thirty so I have fitted in the young and the older categories 😏 This was another one of your special ones Jessica, you are one very wise young woman, bless your heart ❤️🩷💙👍🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

I think one possible explanation is the same phenomenon that happened during the lockdowns - people trapped in their homes with nothing to do but have existential crises about who they are, what they want, and who they're attracted to. And realising that they're bi, gay, trans, non-binary etc simply because they had the time to really think about it. I have a severe disability and am housebound and I 100% wouldn't have realised that I was bisexual if I didn't have so much time to sit around and think about it. There's a lot more time for introspection when you're chronically ill.

My mom was the one who first said "I think I might have ADHD", which sent both of us on an exploratory journey. She's in her 60s, I'm almost 40. She just discovered CPTSD and I'm like yeah.. yeah. Queer, neurodivergent, disabled, chronic illness, history of trauma, and treated as if all my problems are mental illnesses or moral failings that I may or may not actually have, or may just be symptoms of everything else. And yes, I was like this before the Internet. 😂

I love that you encouraged bullied kids to keep talking when they're being bullied. My daughter has ADHD and she's a member of the LGBTQ+ community. She was ignored when she was trying to tell the teachers and staff at school that she was being bullied. She wanted to quit school at 12 years old. I was so angry when I found out that the school wasn't listening to her and even more angry that they didn't tell us what was happening. My husband and I immediately took her out of public school and I homeschooled her. She just started online college this week for Game art and she got a Momentum scholarship. She's doing so much better now and her mental health has improved dramatically since I took her out of public school. It's so important that we listen to our kids and the kids in our community.

Thank you for opening up about the struggles with being lgbtq+ and disabled! Makes me feel less alone ❤️

I'm bi, and I am physically disabled and deal with a lot of mental health issues. I've always felt bad that I couldn't attend protests or even pride events because standing and walking for long periods of time causes huge amounts of pain AND being in crowds with lots of different levels of noise is incredibly triggering. This video really made me feel less guilty and upset about my circumstances, so thank you

Girl, reciting The List is such a thing. I have to "prove" I'm still disabled in order to keep my disability coverage, I just schedule time for after the renewal interview so I can cry out all the relived trauma nasty feelings of how many things I can't do for myself. It's fucking depressing... On a more positive note, understanding how to allow myself to cope with that FUN bi-annual event (every two years) has helped me improve my overall mental health. TIP! Learn what you need to do to help yourself feel better (and don't close yourself off to new options to help yourself just cause you found something that works), oh, and ( I know, this is a lot, but I'm almost done, Promise!) don't let unhealth coping mechanisms lock you into self destructive cycles. You are stronger than you think you. You can do better and you do deserve something better.

Being disabled within the gay male (or AMAB enby) scene is a lot of fun too. It's a community with a heavy focus upon body image and perceived ideals of physical attraction, and many of us cannot or will not fit those molds. It can make networking and dating incredibly difficult when you don't look a certain way and when certain traditionally gay spaces such as gyms, saunas and clubs are unaccessible for so many. It's exhausting trying to balance the need for self-care and the need for companionship, and I have yet to find a way to make it work in a world changed by COVID.

Wonderful local LGBTQ+ cafe near to us, when they took over the building, specifically put in a ramp (one that is there ALL the time, so you don't have to ask for it!). The ramp was there from opening. They host many fantastic meetings/socials each week including one for neurodivergent LGBTQ+ people and one for disabled LGBTQ+ folk amongst others. Appreciate them so much! (They are also lovely!)

Demisexual (sapphic-leaning) EDSer here! Jessica, I love your look, I love your sass, I love that you address this "niche" intersection so many of us live in. And I especially love the phrase "my ankles are pathologically incapable of holding me up." I gotta use that one. :-D

As a person who works with medical students, I think they're taught to ask the patients about their condition in an attempt to be more patient-centred, I.e. by allowing them to explain it themselves you get their perspective and not whatever the last doctor they saw wrote down. However, I'd never thought about how traumatic it could be, so I'll definitely bring it up with the tutors I work with!

as an autistic pansexual person, i have literally never thought of this. 🤣🤣

Bisexual with hEDS here! Had the same reaction when I started my channel about opera, disability and LGBTQ+ issues - "that sounds like a really small niche!" - but it turns out that not only are there lots of LGBTQ+ folks out there who are disabled, there are lots of us in the arts, too!

When I was an adult I bumped into an old teacher I had as a kid. She revealed to me that she had suspected I was being abused but hadn't said anything because, 'it just wasn't done back then'. I had to restrain myself from punching her.

omg!! thank you so much for making this video; as someone who studies special ed at uni and thinks about writing final thesis on the correlation between queer studies and studies on disability this video is so SO!! important

The statement you made “keep going until you find someone who listens”, is what teachers use to push when Personal Safety sessions were taught in schools many years ago.

the 'not that kind of gay best friend' line. because what they want is a femenine, flamboyant, attractive, 50% homosexual 50% in love with only them and no other women, Cis Man.

There also seems to be a very high trans population in the autistic community. I first started coming to terms with and becoming confident in my identity as an autistic person in college, when I started hanging out more with other trans people. It just so happened that a lot of them were also autistic which I feel like makes sense. Given that autistic people have a harder time understanding and conforming to social norms, it might be easy for us to realize our trans identities (not to say that we aren't still impacted by transphobia which influences one's coming out journey)

4:14 I always, when asked for my list of diagnoses, manage to forget the one that will be most pertinent to the appointment

Honestly I think a lot more people queer or not are disabled than they report or tell others. But coming out as queer is already such a mental hurdle that once you push through it coming out as disabled is much easier. Like in my friend group most people who are queer and disabled have come out as both, usually around the same time.

I saw this short and thought 'no way there's that many of us'. As a bisexual disabled woman I wasn't interested in intimate relationships until I met my husband, yet mum's reaction was 'I always thought that you'll come with girlfriend' (don't worry, I thought it was hilarious, because I was always more interested in girls). But I said, yeah, could happen, but somehow we're doing this 😂 However no one in my husband's family other than my brother-in-law knows I'm bisexual. My own family doesn't know either, only my mum. I face enough stupid questions regarding my disability (I have both mental and physical disability) that I don't want more. I also would never tell my doctors about my sexuality. I don't trust them with that information in this country (Poland). And I don't think that's its necessary for them to know, too many of them thought that everything is 'only in my head' because yeah, bipolar disorder and BPD are in the head, however not the way they think they are. And for my whole life I've heard that I can't feel pain everyday because I wouldn't get up from bed, and when I really couldn't everyone blamed me for being lazy. Last year when I finally started going to pain management clinic my doctor (who is absolutely the best one I've ever met) asked me how on earth I've managed to live like this for so long. She herself has herniated discs and no one wanted to help her with her pain, so she understands when patient says than no one listens to them, she had to suffer through the same thing. She mainly treats my migraines, but painkillers also work for pain caused by my spine. She couldn't believe when I told her that neurologist refused to prescribe me anything, because I don't need it and I 'can live like that'. And I was sick because of the pain many days a month. It's not 'oh, my head hurts once a month, I can take acetaminophen and it goes away' it's serious issue, I can't even stand for long periods of time. But in his words, I wasn't 'disabled enough' for him to give me papers to disability office (and I just needed the diagnosis and treatment info on special form that I bring to the appointment). And he saw my spine MRIs, when she (my anesthesiologist from pain management clinic) saw them she said that he's insane. I even went to orthopedics surgeon with them and he said that if physiotherapy can't help with the pain I will have to get surgery, because it's serious, and as he said 'what can I tell you, everything here is not how it's supposed to be and I can absolutely understand why you're constantly in pain'. But yeah, I can live like this. I had to tell that neurologist that I'm not coming out of his office until he gives me those papers. Then suddenly I was disabled enough. There is enough discrimination against disabled people and queer people if it's not combined, but I can't imagine what happens if someone is disabled and their doctors are aware that they're queer. Even my psychiatrist has no clue, I mentioned it to my therapist, but we talked about it only briefly. I know that my psychiatrist wouldn't question it for a second and it wouldn't change anything, so it's not like I'm not telling her on purpose, it just never felt right to say 'oh and btw I'm bisexual'. But no other doctor ever. She can be trusted, they all know that I have a husband because he's my emergency contact, and they don't need to know more. And I know I'm in the more, let's say privileged position because I'm in heterosexual relationship, but if I would be with another woman or NB person I wouldn't tell them either. Just to be safe.

I've had issues with how disability is portrayed in LGBT+ media - specifically RPDR. They had 3 disabled winners. Jinkx has narcolepsy which is played for laughs. Yvie's a Willow Pill's disabilities are used as Emmy bait. The production didn't give Willow a box cutter so she couldn't collect things for a challenge and I was literally screaming at the TV. It was beyond disrespectful. It was exploitative.

watching this video laying on the bathroom floor (again) ((chronically ill life)) so I wanted to pop in and say that your videos are really intensely comforting to me as a young person with a plethora of health problems that no one can explain

Really detest having to rake over my medical history. I have CPTSD from medical trauma. I actively avoid some medical appointments and have to halt some appointments and procedures part way due to trauma. Disabled, (a systemic vasculitis), wife, mum, LGBTQ+ and neurodivergent here.

This is really interesting. I was raised by a Wiccan mother & a Catholic father. I had peers in each group. When I was a teenager I noticed that the Wiccans were, at least at that age of experience & experimentation, in a fairly liberal area, well over 90% lgbtq+, while in the catholic group I knew only one openly gay male. I was all 3 & I didn’t feel like I was one because of another, but I did feel like the ostracism had to have a part. We’re already considered abnormal for religious practices, so we’re not going to put as much value on conformity & we’re more able to explore other aspects and stumble across the fact that gay & straight people are the very small minority. The majority are somewhere on a scale in between. Aside from some minor hearing issues from birth, and an autoimmune condition that was very easy to hide, I wasn’t disabled until my 30s when I developed degenerative disk disease. I’m less in touch with either religious community these days, but again, I noticed the overlap. Again I assumed that if you’re already disabled, you might be more accustomed to being “different” & therefore more accepting of your own sexuality. I do think a lot of “100% straight” people are very uncomfortable with the idea of stepping out of an expected mold. Conformity is more important & if you’re “75%+ straight” leaning, it’s probably easy enough to live with. It’s the “45%+” gay people who struggle to reconcile who they are with what they feel is expected of them. Because I realized that I’m about 52% straight long before my health made me unable to accomplish what I wanted, I didn’t think it was connected. I haven’t looked into studies myself but I trust Jessica enough for me to put some weight onto this. I haven’t even finished the video, I’m just excited to hear something I haven’t heard before. I’m skeptical. I feel like we’ve become dramatically more accepting of the lgbt+ community over the last couple generations & if being gay & discriminated against caused disability, I think we’d have a much higher population of disabled people in the history books & among the older generations, with disabilities becoming less frequent today. If you have something that makes you unable to fit in, I can see it being easier to handle things that otherwise could be hidden due to social pressure. But the brain is powerful & the body can suffer from emotional suppression. I don’t know, I’m just excited to learn about the topic.

Thank you, Jessica! That was very informative and enraging (in a good way). I really hope you’re not having any lingering Covid complications. 🎀💖🎀

I'm a closeted trans person, and I've never really considered myself disabled. However, the more I think about it, I guess able-bodied people don't usually have a list of chronic ailments. I was born with clubfoot of both feet, and they were corrected before I was old enough to remember. I am not built for running. I've had crippling anxiety my whole life, am a chronic insomniac, and mental illness runs in my family I've been in and out of doctors since my freshman year of highschool (I'm 22 now), and I'm still struggling with the same health problems I have a long list of food allergies (dairy, egg, soy, wheat, nuts, peanuts), and got teased for it a lot. I got so tired of other people making such a big deal out of it. I've been so hard on myself for the individual issues. Putting them in a list really provides some perspective.

Yes! “Read the front page of the note” PLEASE!! I more time for the doctors in the back!!

My best friends & I are all disabled/chronically ill, queer, also have spicy mental health/are neurodivergent. We did meet through a group for disabled women but broke off from that original group & bonded because we all identified with each other. Needless to say we’ve had many many heart to hearts about our traumas (medical, disability related, societal, personal) & saying “OMG me too!”

I think at least apart of why disability and queer intersect so often is that if you're disabled you're probably more likely to second guess how you feel about a lot of stuff. I have met plenty of people who, when they spoke about their experiences seemed certain that what they felt was universal. "Girls check out other girls all the time. It's normal." "Everyone's at least a little bi, right?" "It's a common phase, loads of people go through it." Most people with disabilities on the other hand are very much aware that the way they are feeling in their own bodies is not the standard for most people and that leads them to being more open to questioning what else about them is generally not the standard for most people

That was a heavy and important video to make. That you got making that and sharing it on your platform ❤️

Childhood consisted of me and my friends figuring out techniques to manage ourselves so we could survive adult society. Adulthood is all of us one by one finding out that our brains and bodies do things that are different from the norm and we are all queer and oh that’s why that is so much more difficult to me than it seems to be for anyone else… 😂

Thank you so much for covering this and even including how biased a lot of the information covering relevant statistics for being disabled and queer can be.

The infantilization of people with disabilities so that our families don’t see us as adults is so real, and definitely leads to internalized homophobia/transphobia that you have to unpack through therapy later. I’m 27 with epilepsy and wasn’t able to explore my identity (I’m a trans man and pansexual) until I was completely and totally financially independent. Any time I did anything that made my mom uncomfortable, she would do something to take away my independence, including making my boss fire me so I have to stay at home, making me go to virtual school before it was a thing, and taking away my healthcare once I was at college and didn’t live at home. She also got my extended family to bully me at family reunions about potentially being trans or gay but I saying was too sick to date anyone at all because I would just be a burden on them. Basically they saw me, but pushed my identity back down into submission. I definitely got to “I don’t want to be here anymore” levels because of how controlling she was over every aspect of my life, under the guise of caring about my health. If this is happening to you, please persevere, you’ll make it and it’s worth it on the other side.

I just love Jessica. I could learn anything and everything from her.

I would love if you could post a new video on PoTS and how it affects you now, or any tips you have for dealing with it (coming from a potsie) 💗

Thank you so much for making this video! I have often felt a lot of alignment between these experiences, and I learned a ton from this!

My ARO/ACE association has zoom craft meetings, where we all just chat and work on our different craft projects. It's lovely and many of the member have disabilities that don't let us meet in person.

Wow I've never looked at my chronic illness /disability in relationship to my sexuality. Thank you

This is so funny because I am part of a friend group that is almost fully queer and neurodivergent, and some of us have serious health issues (also now I thought about is and realized that it is almost full crossover, especially with the neurodivergency (specifically ADHD, but not only))

C-PTSD is something I've had to deal with since I was 8 and it has been a significant constant drag on my life since I was 12 or so. I dont call myself disabled but it has hindered my life greatly. It has lead to severe depression and past suicidal ideation. Ive even has such extreme stress from it that my immune system bombed so hard that in my 20s i managed to get a virus that my doctor gad never in person seen someone my age get because typically only young children get it.

How do all my favorite creators seem to know exactly what I need to hear when I need it most. Bless you.

Probably because a lot of medical equipment doesn't fit in a closet ;)

Thank you Jessica! I was just pondering this the other day about my being disabled and queer/trans. I was wondering how many other people might be out there with the same experiences in life. I'm in a very small community where I'm trying to find my place but coming up a bit empty-handed so I've turned to the internet to find my place. Much love to everyone out there!

Physically disabled, mentally ill, autistic, adhd, queer, trans, wheelchair user here who's been following since before either of us was diagnosed with EDS. I love you. Thank you for talking about this.

4 of 4 disabled here. My family of choice includes my wife and two other lesbians. I was born with disability due to hEDS and other stuff, and my wife has suffered from Idiopathic Hypersomnolence/CFS since she was in her teens. One of my friends has developed CFS in her late 50's, and the other friend is now affected by CFS due to long Covid. Three of us are on Federal Disability(SSDI) and the other has to limit work hours. I believe some of the disability is related to the incredible stress we've all suffered being gay. Growing up in a very religious, and/or abusive parents really took a toll on our physical and mental health. Life hasn't been easy for any of us. I am very grateful to have these women in my life.

When it comes to autistic people it makes sense why more of use are queer, trans, gender non-conforming, ace/aro, etc. Our brains are not wired for what is consider the norm for socializing and communication and the way we make friends and enter partnerships can look significantly different than allistic people. While masking is definitely a component that can make coming out difficult, the idea that we need to reject ourselves and act like other people is exhausting and painful and will lead to burnout. I wonder if there is any correlation for autistic adults that have experienced a significant burnout in their lives and being more likely to identify as queer, ace/aro, and/or trans. I was comfortable with identifying as queer from a younger age, but it took past burnout to fully embrace and accept being ace. I myself am autistic, adhd, ace, and queer💜

If my homie can't wheelchair dance away from the flashing lights and loud noises, it's not my revolution. You're doing good work

Was always curious about this, looking forward to the video.

The comment that said to stop pretending lgbtq+ people are marginalized because "the lgbt community have been accepted for decades and now are celebrating" even though a woman was killed a few weeks ago for defending the pride flag on her shop, and a young Black man because he was voguing. Is that a joke?

Hi Jessica! The gay Museum in Berlin (schwules Museum) had an exhibition this year called queering the crip, cripping the queer. It was about Icons and activism and Nazi History. Maybe that would interest you?

I swear every time I watch your videos I burst into tears because it feels so nice to be seen.

Thank you for this video 😊 I’m in my thirties, have chronic illness, mental health problems and am neurodiverse (only diagnosed at 27 years old, which was ridiculous as I had some much traumatic from not being diagnosed as a child). I identify as asexual but am still exploring and learning about my sexuality. I found this video interesting as it’s something that I have been thinking about for a long time. Thank you for delivering it in a positive and insightful way. It made me feel more confident ❤

I think it's because, if you're already discriminated against in one regard, you're more aware and less likely to tolerate other forms of it towards other people. Most of the people in the lgbtq community I've interacted with have been the most kind and respectful people I've met, it just seems like 20 less steps and stressors when interacting with them.

Leonardo da Vinci’s mirror writing was almost certainly because he was left-handed and writing right to left made it easier for him to not smudge his notes.

Being noise sensitive (probably ND). I have found night-clubs and similar to be the worst posible setting (panic inducing!), and all I heard about lgbtqia places when I came out (enby) was "gay bar" :(. Thanks for mentioning that issue also, I did feel seen. :) Edit: spelling

As someone who is disabled ( due to chronic illness & spinal injuries resulting from police violence) another great video ! A point I would make is that many of us are in constant pain that can be exacerbated by access issues. Pain also means that I have a low tolerance for being polite to stupid & ignorant people. HIV is also a disability. Within some sections of the LGBTQI community there is also an emphasis on stereotypical physical beauty which results in some not very nice, shallow people body shaming and excluding those who present differently. So much for inclusion ! As a disability consultant some things are getting better though sometimes it is just a shallow exercise to appear inclusive - very annoying. Respect is how we should always embrace everyone in our community. One accessible porta loo just doesn't cut it.

I am so happy you mentioned drag syndrome I went and followed them and got the sewing inspiration I needed 🙏 I adore creative queens

Keep educating us Jessica.

I absolutely love this video as a resource. You've done a great job yet again!

You're very inspiring! Thank you for making me feel better about being myself

I know I am. And I have multiple letters in the LGBTQ+ and multiple neurodivergencies not mention a probable hypermobility mutation. Definitely far from the only one out there.

As an aroace nonbinary autistic young adult, this video really speaks to me. I have often felt that pride and most queer events and spaces are excluding people like me, who are not good with loud and crowded spaces and do not feel the need to do or see anything sexual. I want to feel like a part of the community, but going to pride is so exhausting that I have to plan in at least two days of just doing nothing in my bed after. I want to see people being sexually liberated, but I also want to be liberated in my asexuality. I am so happy to see all these people being themselves and living their best lives, but I know I'll never be able to do that the same way and it makes me feel quite lonely in this community.

A question I ask myself a lot-have been wondering about this! Thanks for answering the age old question and making all us queer disabled people feel at home!

Thank you so much for this video ! I can relate so much and found it very interesting 😄

Yes, Jessica! Yes, this! Entirely this! Thank you for this!😊

I think they ask people to sum up their own health issues to see which words they prefer. I have epilepsy, some people are more comfortable with seizure disorder or just seizures. Likewise, here they call them seizures, in the UK they call them fits. I'm UK born/Canadian raised so it doesn't matter to me but if you call them fits here, some people are offended. Even something as simple as "I have painful periods" ... some would rather use the word menses, that time of the month, 'that week' etc etc.

Thank you for this.

Jessica is my first time watching one of your videos, and i'm already a fan, such an interesting topic, i hadn't thought about. Thank you for shinning a light on it

Hi Jessica us disabled queer women your video helps me a lot. Can I quote you in my Social work management lectures?

About what makes people follow you. I originally found you because of some vintage stuff (hairdos, I think). Stayed because of your marvellous personality, and as I can relate to being chronically unwell. Didn't think I belonged to any of the categories you do, though. It's indeed not needed to be loving your videos! Well. Now I've found out I'm neurodovergent - counts even as disability, officially. And overmobility of joints and araknodaktylia, which makes me wondering if I actually have a mild connective tissue disorder as well. What irony! At this age I'm pretty positive I'm not queer, though. Still I find your videos about the queer community enlightening and interestingly.