The All-Seeing NostraDonald

Рет қаралды 2,627,091

8 жыл бұрын

Donald Trump has the world's greatest memory AND he can see the future... the classiest, most beautiful future ever.
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Пікірлер: 1 600

@KingOfMadCows 8 жыл бұрын

More like Nostradumbass.

@Reyeston007 8 жыл бұрын

Lol

@muntasermo 8 жыл бұрын

punz bois

@sullivansongz 8 жыл бұрын

😀

@JordanLink1 8 жыл бұрын

+KingOfMadCows amazing

@TonyTouch831 8 жыл бұрын

lol😂 u just made my day.

@Steve27775 8 жыл бұрын

I confidently predict that Donald Trump will say something even dumber next week.

@trevorbatesanimation1883 8 жыл бұрын

I don't know if that's possible

@artsy_artist1323 8 жыл бұрын

+TrevorSpace Animation That's what we thought last week xD

@MaryCummins 8 жыл бұрын

+TrevorSpace Animation It is. And FTR I bet Trump remembers seeing the video of people jumping up and down, dancing, yelling for joy in a middle eastern country after the Twin Towers fell. I saw the same video and remember it very well. I wrote about it in an article about 911.

@mast6209 8 жыл бұрын

+Mary Cummins Jersey City is quite different than a middle eastern country.. but trump probably desnt know that!

@TheSuperCoolMan122 8 жыл бұрын

+Steve27775 Nothing can be dumber than "a small loan of a million dollars"

@tylertyler82 8 жыл бұрын

So Don was just hanging out in Jersey in a Muslim neighborhood at 9am on a Tuesday?

@Cornelius87 8 жыл бұрын

+tylertyler82 He claims he saw it on TV yet no Tv network known to man has any footage of what he says.

@pluntchgunster6156 8 жыл бұрын

+Jose Vazquez He was a first hand wittness evidently.

@Muzikrazy213 8 жыл бұрын

+tylertyler82 the specifics of this got me dying laughing idk why 😂😂

@iRTehSecks 8 жыл бұрын

+tylertyler82 Im glad someone pointed this out. Everything else is irrelevant in my opinion. I just want someone to ask him directly "Why the fuck were you in Jersey, in an "arab", meaning Islamic neighborhood (cause we all know he cant tell the difference between anyone in the Middle East or Southeast Asia) during that time?". He will most likely say business, in which case there would be a paper trail somewhere.

@lochnessamonster1912 8 жыл бұрын

He watched with binoculars from his golden tower.

@LadyEmaSkye 7 жыл бұрын

Not even Stephen could predict that the iPhone 7 wouldn't have a headphone jack.

@Kasino80 7 жыл бұрын

I've been watching Colbert so much, I can almost recite his monologues

@LondonSambaDancerBellydancer 7 жыл бұрын

Kasino80 he's genius

@MassiveScore 8 жыл бұрын

My favorite thing about Trump is that he's the ultimate one-up man. He's said he has the world's greatest memory, he said he has the highest IQ of everyone in the world, recently he said he's the least racist person on the planet. It's hilarious every time.

@garvythecapricorn 8 жыл бұрын

He has a problem. A disorder, if you will. It's called Ithinkiamelonmuskitis. It's a serious condition. Very sad.

@JamesAJ 8 жыл бұрын

+touchedinthehead The actual term for what he has is "narcissistic personality disorder".

@MassiveScore 8 жыл бұрын

***** That's not as fun to say as ithinkiamelonmuskitis though.

@ArsynZ 8 жыл бұрын

+MassiveScore Trump is the Kanye West of politics.

@NotchFromMOJANG 8 жыл бұрын

The candidates have actually been ranked by intelligence, Ted Cruz came in first with a score of 9.8 and trump a 5.1

@iRTehSecks 8 жыл бұрын

Colbert is one of the greatest ever.

@prabashathilakaratne6293 8 жыл бұрын

#feelthebern

@raptorsquad3081 8 жыл бұрын

Yes

@paladingunny4082 8 жыл бұрын

stand with rand

@dabrolives804 8 жыл бұрын

+Paladin Gunny Danny Rand

@kav2903 8 жыл бұрын

+Lifted Canyon yes

@bilb0sw4ggins38 8 жыл бұрын

+theraptor44 trump supporter spotted

@witchplease9695 8 жыл бұрын

"If Ivanka wasn't my daughter, perhaps I'd be dating her." -Donald Trump

@witchplease9695 8 жыл бұрын

Aaron Duda I saw the video and thats basically what he said even if my wording is slightly off. The point here is that he's a sicko.

@Muzikrazy213 8 жыл бұрын

+Des "slightly off" does not work in the world of quotes.

@witchplease9695 8 жыл бұрын

Muzikrazy213 Then sue me lmao. I dont care. "I like big butts and I cannot lie." -Stephen Hawking

@Muzikrazy213 8 жыл бұрын

+Des well shit.. can't argue with stephen hawking.

@kalandershihab 8 жыл бұрын

And what's the point of this?

@idistroy111 8 жыл бұрын

I love when you rant about donald trump

@JohnSmith-qn3ob 7 жыл бұрын

THERE IS AN IPHONE 7!!!! STEPHEN'S POWERS ARE REAL!!!!!!

@maggynica80 7 жыл бұрын

Coffee Girl

@yellowfan77 7 жыл бұрын

John Smith u

@JohnSmith-qn3ob 7 жыл бұрын

Georgia Young "John Smith u" what?

@alexlandherr 7 жыл бұрын

John Smith Good One!

@blackheartzerotheundergrou3225 7 жыл бұрын

John Smith *OH MY GOD! SCIENTOLOGY IS THE ONE TRUE RELIGION!!!*

@stalk8r 7 жыл бұрын

Man all these forgotten Donald gems burried underneath all his further controversy. The fact that he did not raise enough red flags back then is pretty depressing.

@martinayisraelarieffer1784 7 жыл бұрын

I was thinking the same thing. It like, WTF! How did people fall for this blatant Circus Act

@Chief2Moon 5 жыл бұрын

Vilkku What's worse is that many KNEW Trump was an asshole but voted for him anyway.

@biggin92191 8 жыл бұрын

You could just tell how much that girl wanted to roll her eyes before saying "because he has 'the worlds' greatest memory.'"

@ladymaiden2308 5 жыл бұрын

Phillip Betts oh my God yes. She struggled to not roll her eyes. It's like she stuck a fork in the back of her hand off camera to keep her focus on the fork rather than responding with an eye roll.

@atomhearts 8 жыл бұрын

Donald Trump has the world's best memory? But I thought elephants had the world's- That's it, Donald Trump is part elephant.

@kordarron3501 8 жыл бұрын

Confirmed

@ashendeer 8 жыл бұрын

+Sam Nee Well the mascot for the Republican party _is_ an elephant. It all makes sense!

@atomhearts 8 жыл бұрын

ChronosRegex I didn't even think of that. You, my friend, are a genius.

@ashendeer 8 жыл бұрын

Sam Nee In fact, if you think about it, Trump basically _is_ the mascot. He's the most well-known currently, he makes everybody laugh, and he looks dumb!

@atomhearts 8 жыл бұрын

ChronosRegex Damn, you're right. And wait, mascots have big heads.... Trump has a big head.... It all fits together perfectly.

@bigwingedkuriboh 8 жыл бұрын

I love how accurate the pandering part was

@JohnSmith-xk5ou 7 жыл бұрын

Was anyone else hoping Stephen was going to pull out a possum and was disappointed when pulled out the candle?

@lizard3755 5 жыл бұрын

I wasn't expecting a possum, but now that you said it I really wish it had been a possum

@zetazakuz1513 8 жыл бұрын

Trump needs a small loan of a million dollars

@nateputerbaugh5709 8 жыл бұрын

According to Romney you should just be able to borrow that from your parents

@erik8467 8 жыл бұрын

million dollars is a very large amount of money, but compared to 4 billion?

@zetazakuz1513 8 жыл бұрын

Erik Arustamyan a small loan of 4 billion dollars

@joegibbs6367 8 жыл бұрын

look what he turned a million dollars into. most people would lose it all

@mehelloYO 8 жыл бұрын

+Joe Gibbs I agree.

@GoldenPosiedon 8 жыл бұрын

White people: All lives matter Syria: We have refugees in danger White people: New phone who dis

@josabadmunoz7981 8 жыл бұрын

For USA,yes, refugees. For Europe, no, a lot of rapists, sharia law supporters, and economic leaches. I'm a PC Liberal atheist, and even I know this shit.

@Elyndyr 8 жыл бұрын

+James Franco Syrians are not white.

@SBlackmare 8 жыл бұрын

+TheDtrane We have the ability to help all of them. What's even better is that we are reaching a point where we actually need new immigrants for economic purposes. They take over some of our "ghost towns" and revitalize them. They add to the payroll taxes that fund Social Security and Medicare. It would be a win-win if only fearmongers would get out of the way.

@CoolioXXX52 8 жыл бұрын

+Rani Hinnawi not true

@SBlackmare 8 жыл бұрын

Ryan Herich No, it's true. Immigrants are kind of an investment.

@Jackmonster3231 8 жыл бұрын

Stephen is the best late night host on TV.

@mutantminusmutiny8477 8 жыл бұрын

Trump has the world's greatest memory because he is the world's greatest goldfish

@hareemniazi8736 8 жыл бұрын

Omfg lol

@mrwebber35 8 жыл бұрын

+MutanTminusMutiny You should see my goldfish.

@goggletoggle1294 8 жыл бұрын

Fishy!

@vidblogger12 8 жыл бұрын

+MutanTminusMutiny Impossible. Fish have scales. Donald Trump doesn't have scales...except... Maybe that thing on the top of his head. I'm still not fully sure that's hair.

@noahwilliams8996 8 жыл бұрын

+MutanTminusMutiny I'd vote him world's greatest goldfish if he'd agree to not run for president. :P

@guiwhiz 7 жыл бұрын

I know this was a year ago now, but I've always wanted to comment. I was IN Jersey City, NJ and Weehawken, NJ on that day. There was NO ONE in the streets at 9am on that day. I was standing with a bunch of other people at the Exchange Place PATH station where I met a vendor rep to bring to several meetings. Everybody was either just standing silently ashen-faced or crying watching what was going on across the Hudson River. Then later when I was over in Weehawken standing on a parking garage roof there was just people talking. Many angry about whomever was behind this attack as by that point it was clear it was an organized attack. The rest of the day was spent in chaos as everybody tried to get home and away from Manhattan before all the bridges and tunnels were closed. Trust me there was no 'group' cheering in America that day Mr. Trump much less in Jersey City, NJ.

@ROHAN51717 7 жыл бұрын

'no matter what he does or says trumps gonna do great in polls'.. man could u be more right

@wolveric0 7 жыл бұрын

remember when Trump was a joke back in november of 2015?, joke is still running and no one is laughing anymore.... sad but true.

@lauw428 7 жыл бұрын

wolveric0 now thAt joke won the Us presidential elections

@cammogaming3517 7 жыл бұрын

wolveric0 damnit past commenter, the joke is president now

@wolveric0 7 жыл бұрын

i dont know why, but it did not surprised me, i saw it coming.

@Chief2Moon 5 жыл бұрын

wolveric0 Often seeing Trump's televised campaign run I wondered if he was TRYING to lose by saying stupid things,spouting proven lies,& behaving in an infantile manner......Now that he's president, he's only gotten worse.

@kimsjustice09 8 жыл бұрын

Colbert has done it again... Made me spit my water out mid-drink. You'd think I'd learn. Also, that frozen yogurt statement is a fact in my neighborhood! Lol

@flipmaya 8 жыл бұрын

Part of me wants to believe that Donald Trump is enacting the Zero Requiem from Code Geass.

@FatBitches 8 жыл бұрын

Holy shit, blew my mind.

@dem0ninthemist 8 жыл бұрын

+flipmaya OMG, I told that to my friends as a joke. what if he really was an extremely brilliant and kind hearted man and he knew that enough stupid hate would cause the worst of American to be placed neatly in one little place and then he wiped them all way, thus severely removing hate and bigotry in this country

@janmichael9004 8 жыл бұрын

+flipmaya Actually a few years ago he was a Democrat and very liberal. Dunno what happened.

@LoquaciousApe 8 жыл бұрын

"It's as if Trump has some sort of _fifth sense_ that let's him see what's on newspapers and on tv"

@JohnnyGarman 8 жыл бұрын

SC has to be one of the best late night hosts to have lived.

@FriendlyFantom 8 жыл бұрын

thankful for u stephen thnx

@coldfire0007 8 жыл бұрын

He has the gift!

@699CHIP 8 жыл бұрын

Take note on everybody who supports trump so you know in the future that their opinion doesn't mean shit in any topics.

@Reyeston007 8 жыл бұрын

Haha agree.

@44slack 8 жыл бұрын

+Reyes Ibarra, ya, just like the people who vehemently supported the Iraq war. Every time they open their clappers, my ears automatically shut down. Yes, that's goes for demorats and republitards.

@mariokarter13 8 жыл бұрын

I personally prefer "NosTrumpDumbass"

@shadejasmineashfire 8 жыл бұрын

The cookie got me. I laughed so hard. But then again I can relate with loosing things in the dark.

@zombyjano 8 жыл бұрын

Donald Trump, confirmed to be able to wheeled the Monado.

@SonicTheEdgeworth 8 жыл бұрын

+Mauricio Martinez Congrats. Give this man a trump!

@Tustin2121 7 жыл бұрын

I think this is appearing in my news feed now because the just announced the iPhone 7. HE IS A WIZARD!!! WHO KNEW SUCH A THING WOULD COME TRUE?!?!

@ObeMossop 8 жыл бұрын

This is probably one of the funniest skits I've seen him do.

@sillydog1484 8 жыл бұрын

Did anyone else start singing Schuyler Sisters when he said "here in new york, in the greatest city in the world"

@mega.gigamax9284 8 жыл бұрын

I think we need to make Trump pay for a wall to keep himself out of our country. His fans should join him...

@jinxcalico5016 8 жыл бұрын

Then we might just lose half of the country

@mega.gigamax9284 8 жыл бұрын

Half is generous. Or maybe I want to just be hopeful its not half.

@EllyValentini 6 жыл бұрын

Do you think Apple turned the iPhone 7S into the 8 to screw with Stephen? Lol

@artbythecoco 8 жыл бұрын

LOL at that poor female reporter's face when she quoted Trump.

@humility1st 8 жыл бұрын

I LOVE You Stephen Colbert!!!

@solomonshv 7 жыл бұрын

the video he is referring to is actually palestinians celebrating in the west bank and ramallah.

@richardhill194 7 жыл бұрын

"No matter what he says or does Donald Trump will still do pretty well in the polls." Well shit, Stephen is good at this.

@ChAzR89 8 жыл бұрын

solid gold, thanks

@Iamchowy 8 жыл бұрын

You are the BEST Estevan!!! Bring back ESTEVAN!!!

@largolegato 7 жыл бұрын

I remembered when the first time I saw the WT centers were tumbling down, I was just way too shocked to react in any other emotion. Cheer????? Thousands of people?????

@caseyramone 7 жыл бұрын

I know what you mean... one must keep in mind that it was Donald Trump who said that lol

@mischarowe 7 жыл бұрын

+Lise Tan I was told about it before seeing it and didn't believe it. It was scary enough as a possibility...

@formset 7 жыл бұрын

As George Costanza said, “It’s not a lie if you believe it.” ... "I love the poorly educated!”-Donald Trump (2016)-LOL

@CUMBICA1970 8 жыл бұрын

HAHA James Patterson bit cracked me up. I myself bought a couple of them a while ago at LAX (not Patterson's but Steve Berry.)

@jailoslubinda9269 Жыл бұрын

7 years later, still makes me laugh

@vaibhavgupta20 8 жыл бұрын

you're looking for 3:46

@nakianiteshade 8 жыл бұрын

I used to love laughing at Trump now i'm afraid that even if he isn't the nominee he has stirred up some crazy shit in that party that can't easily be undone.

@nanas7399 8 жыл бұрын

"so I may know the known." had me rolling on the floor.

@jlafountain1 8 жыл бұрын

This was great!

@user-tm1ix7xi1n 7 жыл бұрын

"The world's greatest memory" 😂

@ghost2coast296 8 жыл бұрын

Trump 2016 America will be great again

@Ely1406 8 жыл бұрын

Wtf

@syn1183 8 жыл бұрын

#Trump2016!!!!!

@Muzikrazy213 8 жыл бұрын

+Ghost2Coast sarcasm is fun

@GoldenPosiedon 8 жыл бұрын

Shut your dumbass up

@aidenquinn19975 8 жыл бұрын

No. Just, No.

@gcgrabodan 8 жыл бұрын

"Crowds will continue to be easy to pander to, in this greatest city of the world." ...Crowd cheers... This is one of the most interesting and telling things to demonstrate about american politics if you ask me.

@84chevypickup 8 жыл бұрын

MUCH LOVE COLBERT!

@GlenHackney 8 жыл бұрын

Ill just leave this here. www.breitbart.com/big-journalism/2015/12/02/trump-100-vindicated-cbs-reports-swarms-on-roofs-celebrating-911/ I hope this wont cause any butt hurt.

@GlenHackney 8 жыл бұрын

And absolutely nothing will be learned from the lives lost.

@truboo4268 8 жыл бұрын

Can you please link me to an independent source, or multiple sources, of your claims?

@eneru8090 8 жыл бұрын

funny how people hate Obama for lying and yet they vote for trump.

@devlinburgess2463 8 жыл бұрын

That spooky noise Stephen made convinced me the Mentok! The Mind Taker! had returned for a second.

@priyaramasamy2251 8 жыл бұрын

Love it!

@patbrennan6572 8 жыл бұрын

if trump wins,we canadians will come to the rescue of out american cousins. it's our way of saying thank you for accepting celine dionne all thoose years ago..

@comrad9372 8 жыл бұрын

Does anybody else support Rand Paul?

@2157AF 8 жыл бұрын

+Connor Dunn hes too short

@LimmingKenny 8 жыл бұрын

+Connor Dunn Rand Paul would be among my top picks for republican nominee, mainly for his foreign policy positions

@krim7 8 жыл бұрын

Rand Paul is off brand Ron Paul.

@Adrian-pw8mf 8 жыл бұрын

*crickets.

@noahwilliams8996 8 жыл бұрын

+Connor Dunn I do. :/

@TIMMYSIPRANO 8 жыл бұрын

Awesome!

@ericsbuds 8 жыл бұрын

ok im gonna have to start watching the late show again!

@jeremiahbrand5430 8 жыл бұрын

Call him whatever you want but Donald Trump is not racist, that is for certain. If you think he is a racist then you need to reread the definition of "racist"

@Solaris132 8 жыл бұрын

Racist: 1. A person who believes that a particular race is superior to another. Tell me how this isn't what Trump does, with all he says about Muslims and Mexicans.

@michaelbuell7032 8 жыл бұрын

"having or showing the belief that a particular race is superior to another." Ok fair he isn't saying anyone is superior...he's simply targeting groups of non-white skin pigmentation that he believes are dangerous based off of generalized biased examples that are either untrue or a vast minority to those groups...but he's not saying that white people are good he's simply saying Mexicans, Syrians, and blacks are bad...almost every time he gets a mic in front of his lie hole

@jeremiahbrand5430 8 жыл бұрын

Solaris of Tämir This is exactly what i mean. A racist believes in the superiority of another race. race. race. Race. RACE. R4CE. R-A-C-E. RACE. Mexican is absolutely not a race. That is as stupid as saying that American is a race. Pay attention very closely: Mexico is a country that lies to the south of the southern US border. Mexican is a freaking nationality; not a race. I'm not even sure you could understand this though, seeing as how you also suggested that "muslim" is a race. "What's your race?" "Christian..."

@michaelbuell7032 8 жыл бұрын

+Jeremiah Brand well if you want to get specific I'm Slavic,English,Irish,Spanish, and a few other traceable races and if you think Mexican isn't a race please tell me what you identify the mix of Aztec and Spanish people that live in Mexico...just brown or a Spanish subsidiary?

@jeremiahbrand5430 8 жыл бұрын

michael buell Latino or hispanic describe them. A Guatemalan is not a Mexican. He is the same race as a Mexican.

@OsoActual 8 жыл бұрын

I cannot stop laughing at the movie times segment of this bit. Lolol

@ad2094 8 жыл бұрын

I've watched ALL the Stephen Colbert videos on KZfaq. What shall I do with my life now?

@skylerluke 7 жыл бұрын

when he said I'm also woooaaah I subscribed XD

@shymickey6 8 жыл бұрын

I wish I had Stephen Colberts humor. He is so funny.

@jaydedinnoo8819 5 жыл бұрын

Comedic gold.

@parispalpal8695 8 жыл бұрын

I love this show

@5143hello 8 жыл бұрын

The amount of weird stuff in Stephen's desk always amazes me.

@sebsunda 8 жыл бұрын

LOL!! That was amazing!!

@TheMixter123 7 жыл бұрын

The fortune cookie tho.

@tommyknut7808 8 жыл бұрын

this guy, Stephen Colbert or whatever his name is, must be a genius. He is truly funny and skilled.

@mahirmustari5545 8 жыл бұрын

lol I like all of his introductions

@joelr.8884 8 жыл бұрын

Bro I love Stephen!! Hilariously Funny!!

@casg9172 8 жыл бұрын

I LOVE YOU STEPHEN!

@hoorayism 8 жыл бұрын

Good luck Donald Trump from Australia.

@Jeffrey_Wong 8 жыл бұрын

I was expecting Colbert to read the numbers on the fortune cookie.

@sankernarayanan4638 8 жыл бұрын

Everyone started cheering when Stephen Colbert said "NY is the greatest city in the world", but he just wanted to prove that crowds are easy to pander to and they fell for it!

@anessone 8 жыл бұрын

Haha the crowd was also going in for the joke by doing that. How boring would the joke land if the crowd stayed silent all of a sudden. I will admit that they are easily appeased though haha

@festus569 7 жыл бұрын

Nice !

@StevenJuukoAfricanStig 8 жыл бұрын

Your awesome man :'))

@manueltony3 8 жыл бұрын

he opened up a snappel I'm dieing lol

@RustinChole 8 жыл бұрын

that was harsh! finally! truth! keep it up Colbert I

@bakeralex1995 8 жыл бұрын

This made my soon to be day! 😂😂😂

@joeyrocks7916 8 жыл бұрын

yes

@CreekMonsters 8 жыл бұрын

I just love when Colbert rips on Trump

@kendellhires2901 8 жыл бұрын

The woman's face while she states 'the worlds greatest memory' is flat out hilarious.

@truboo4268 8 жыл бұрын

She's like, trying to keep professional, but his claim is absolutely ridiculous.

@JohnMarascia 8 жыл бұрын

I remember seeing it on a new York news story too. trump is correct.

@JohnMarascia 8 жыл бұрын

check some of the local tv stations there and their archives. In fact I remember talking to my co workers about it.

@mr-mz4ed 7 жыл бұрын

lol he was right a yogurt shop did open near me and closed in a month! lol

@lanerider7265 8 жыл бұрын

yes!

@pablocespedes9585 8 жыл бұрын

Yesterday I was talking to one of my guests in our lodge, he is German, he told that he was in Frankfurt when the 9/11 disaster happened, he told me he was at a grocery store next to his house owned by Arabic people. He said they were cheering and jumping of joy when the towers were crumbling down... he couldn't believe what was going on at that horrible moment! I mean of you are normal, meaning that you did not were raised with irrational and fanatic hate in your heart, you just can not cheer if something like 9/11 happen. So think about this, you better know your enemies guys!