Meanwhile… NASCAR Fight | Broccoli Freckles | Cocaine Avocados

Meanwhile… NASCAR Fight | Broccoli Freckles | Cocaine Avocados | Florida’s Fat Gator

Рет қаралды 719,760

Ай бұрын

Meanwhile… A NASCAR race took an ugly turn after a crash, broccoli crowns are the new trending makeup tool, authorities found a massive shipment of cocaine hiding inside avocados, and an overweight alligator in Florida has been put on a diet.
#Colbert #Comedy #Meanwhile
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Stephen Colbert brings his signature satire and comedy to THE LATE SHOW with STEPHEN COLBERT, the #1 show in late night, where he talks with an eclectic mix of guests about what is new and relevant in the worlds of politics, entertainment, business, music, technology and more. Featuring bandleader Louis Cato and “THE LATE SHOW band,” the Peabody Award-winning and Emmy Award-nominated show is broadcast from the historic Ed Sullivan Theater. Stephen Colbert took over as host, executive producer and writer of THE LATE SHOW on Sept. 8, 2015.

Пікірлер: 590

@LincolnWorld Ай бұрын

Some people steal a tiny eagle card holder. Some steal top secret documents and then refuse to give them back. About half the country doesn't seem to see a difference.

@asynchronicity Ай бұрын

It's all the same if you're brain damaged 🤷

@user-ly8ft2wb1c Ай бұрын

Touché!

@mariekastler5391 Ай бұрын

30something % Remember to VOTE!

@ChicoTheMan69 Ай бұрын

Presidents have gotten away with much worse, Nixon wasn't the only crook.

@amyjackson8725 Ай бұрын

maga is NOWHERE NEAR "half"!!!!! They are a TINY MINORITY. Only about 25% of the 168 million registered voters are republican, and about a third of THOSE are maga, at most maybe 10 million.

@primordial_platypus Ай бұрын

It would be funny if the next dinner he is invited to everyone has a place holder in its stand except him where it is just laid on the table.

@56nickrich Ай бұрын

Good one platypus! 😂

@flackstar007 Ай бұрын

That would make for a great story.

@lillia2479 Ай бұрын

That would be hilarious. 😂

@bwenluck9812 Ай бұрын

But---Evie did it, lol....

@radiationking9398 Ай бұрын

"No problem, I brought one from home." lol

@alphabrainwave Ай бұрын

Secret Service: Excuse me, Mrs. Colbert. Why did you put that name place holder in your pocketbook? Evie: It had my name on it. Secret Service: (pauses, listening to earpiece) It checks out.

@corpsecoder_nw6746 Ай бұрын

omg I didn't think about it that way

@angelikalindenau943 Ай бұрын

❤

@lashadi1445 Ай бұрын

*perfection* 🤌 *chef's kiss*

@bobtrask2217 Ай бұрын

Oh, I would totally be using the "Janet Yellen told me to" as an affirmative defense.

@pennygleeson5029 Ай бұрын

Best. Guac. EVER !!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

@chriswilliam7282 Ай бұрын

Stephen seeing the mini fig and immediately thinking "✨shiney✨ I want" is very relatable! 💯

@PitFriend1 Ай бұрын

I thought the Most Florida award would go to their legislature that tackled the important issue of being able to buy a 15 liter bottle of wine.

@j10001 Ай бұрын

It’s a highly competitive award. Loads of well-qualified entries.

@IvanKosta-dv5mw Ай бұрын

That bottle would need to be rolled out on wheels like a canon. Didn’t cognac used to be sold like that as a show piece ? You could swivel tilt it to pour !? And why on earth would there be a limit on bottle size to begin with when there was no limit on quantity ?

@leavingitblank9363 Ай бұрын

Amusing how they keep referring to a bottle. You know damn well it's a BOX.

@RickDeevey Ай бұрын

Maybe you can get a presidential pardon for the gewgaw theft, Bilbo.

@h7opolo Ай бұрын

1:59 in Yellen we trust. don't fret, Stephen. no foul.

@rikkiechambers4959 Ай бұрын

Evie did it 😂😂😂 lmao and the nascar bit was extra funny too .. great meanwhile !

@KPVFarmer Ай бұрын

Thank you good Sir. Your morals and values are beyond reproach! If others were more like you the world would be a better and more hilarious place!!! 🇺🇸🦅🇺🇦

@badbiker666 Ай бұрын

The next time I sleep on a makeshift bed, something I have to throw together on an emergency basis, I now know to call it a "flunky bunk." Thanks to Stephen for providing that terminology.

@AmericanTeacher-USA Ай бұрын

Evie did it !! 😂

@charlenezevelykirby481 Ай бұрын

Thats my girl!

@amyreynolds3619 Ай бұрын

Best. Meanwhile. Ever. Stephen. Colbert. 😅 😂

@davesky538 Ай бұрын

Gator got the meats! Arby's should use the gator in it's advert!😂

@malvavisco7149 Ай бұрын

Alligators are fierce apex predators, but mankind now knows their weakness: HAM

@benn454 Ай бұрын

I mean, that's also OUR weakness

@sethescope Ай бұрын

@@benn454 it's amazing how much we have in common with other species, isn't it? the natural world is incredible 😂

@archive881 Ай бұрын

They already have a taste for "long pig" (humans).

@mad_borden Ай бұрын

Treasury Secretary goes: "Just take it". Me with debt: "I vibe with this chick." Can we get the Tubman 20 sooner though?

@bettyjones113 Ай бұрын

Only if the $20 can’t have Wilma Mankiller on the face. I think we need a Cherokee woman. The irony to replace AJ with a Cherokee

@edwardlulofs444 Ай бұрын

I am coming to appreciate and like the Meanwhile segment more and more. Thank you Mr Colbert. Lately I have been watching your episodes several times each because they are contributing so much to my life. Your work is at a peak. Keep up the good work. I believe that you are helping America and the world so much right now. You are certainly helping my life. 😀👍

@karinwolf3645 Ай бұрын

Mine, too! I can't sleep when you are on vacation. 🤔😦😭💋💖💙🌵👵🐺🖖

@bebelechekid Ай бұрын

Amen to that 🎉

@ChainReactionsProductions Ай бұрын

Another eloquently delivered tongue twister Meanwhile preamble! Some of us love it, some of us hate it, but regardless I’m always here for it.

@richard1472 Ай бұрын

I just skip it.

@jkap34 Ай бұрын

@@richard1472 what's the point in watching meanwhile, then? It's like watching Seth Meyers closer look without watching his preamble to the title block for the segment.

@richard1472 Ай бұрын

@@jkap34 My choice, okay? And Seth Meyers is annoying. He talks through his nose.

@BaconMaker1 Ай бұрын

@@richard1472 everyone is entitled to make the wrong choice.

@vsznry Ай бұрын

for the actual "headlines" an commentary ? lolol @@jkap34

@railrodemike Ай бұрын

The USMC definition of S.T.E.A.L. To strategically transfer equipment to alternative locations. Quote from "The Fat Electrician."

@AmericanTeacher-USA Ай бұрын

😂😂😂

@pennygleeson5029 Ай бұрын

👏👏👏🤣

@Error_404-F.cks_Not_Found Ай бұрын

Nice! 😂😂

@a.williams-mccray4483 Ай бұрын

I'm gonna use this from now on. 😂

@HippieSoul77 Ай бұрын

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

@NewMessage Ай бұрын

Road Rage? Heck, maybe my Dad WOULD be good at that sport!

@SpaceForceCommander Ай бұрын

Don Jr. is going to be short on avocados. 🥑 👃

@S.Shea2432 Ай бұрын

The Aligator on Ozempic. Lmao!! 🤣🤣

@tesswinker2482 Ай бұрын

There's actually a pig mascot named Ozempig!

@SpaceForceCommander Ай бұрын

Sacré bleu! Those coffees and croissants will be cold by the time it gets there! 😂

@yudithcaron8053 Ай бұрын

Coffee temperature is one way to determine the winner in case of a tie.

@marcpeterson1092 Ай бұрын

@@yudithcaron8053Lowest time and lowest temperature wins.

@jojoone1099 Ай бұрын

People get testy on diets, so how will a crocodile/alligator do when it feels under fed? 👀

@diembepoet Ай бұрын

"The stowaway's flunky-bunk that is the news."😆

@eulbart Ай бұрын

Oh the irony... The writers kidding about strikes...

@cheska2024 Ай бұрын

'Most Florida' says so much in just 2 words.

@DaHaiZhu Ай бұрын

Fat Gators can't run as fast. There is a logic to their madness

@wharris123184 Ай бұрын

Thievin’ Colbert 😂

@rebelalliance171 Ай бұрын

Cocaine Avocados is a good name for a band

@CD_Character Ай бұрын

🎶Avocados from Colombia 🎶

@Cancun771 Ай бұрын

An asparagus raft is the preferred side dish to a pork sword. Not many people know that. *Also **_Gator on Ozempic_** is my new boomer garage band name.*

@celinadavies Ай бұрын

'Meanwhile' was so so good tonight Stephen 🌟🌟🌟 🥰 British Columbia 🇨🇦

@kathrynryches6660 Ай бұрын

He needs to come back and visit our province again, 2010 was a long time ago!

@RetroGameSpacko Ай бұрын

I miss the covid shows with Evie laughing in the background

@jturtle5318 Ай бұрын

Appeasing the local alligator so he doesn’t eat your dog or snatch your kid out of the yard makes perfect sense to me.

@5m0k3y9 Ай бұрын

But that is totally the wrong thing to do! The gator will come to lose all fear of people and dogs if they are with them when feeding the gator. Which leads the gator to hang around the area, You cannot see it most of the time. get too close to the shore and it will eat ANYTHING it can grab and pull under the water!

@therealhiesenberg2731 Ай бұрын

Someone though the same thing about a mountain lion in one of my old neighborhoods. The mountain lion ended up eating a teenager.

@Eyeball_Heroin Ай бұрын

Absolutely NASCAR should add road rage. 😤 except the copy cats that see it, will repeat it on our highways.

@bettygreenhansen Ай бұрын

Somewhere in Florida there is a 1000-pound alligator who not only is not afraid of humans, it associates us with food!

@charlenezevelykirby481 Ай бұрын

and is gonna be a bit hungrier maybe.

@davidlundquist1979 Ай бұрын

It's charming that you think there's only one.

@bettygreenhansen Ай бұрын

@@davidlundquist1979 I don’t go swimming in water I cannot see through so I’m safe, don’t worry!

@cyclewisconsin105 Ай бұрын

@@bettygreenhansen Best bet all around to be safe is to stay out of Florida.

@bettygreenhansen Ай бұрын

@@cyclewisconsin105 I love and prefer Florida without tourists.

@lisaaustin8150 Ай бұрын

I guess we’re gonna act like we forgot about Tony Stewart’s “road rage?”😂

@lydienardon729 Ай бұрын

In France the hospitality and restauration workers are never on strike in France : and we are the only one to work 39 hours a week (it 's 35 Hours a week on every other jobs). Our night time does not have a financial compensation... That's why so many workers in Restaurant and hotels a

@adb888 Ай бұрын

I thought the punchline about the waiters in Paris would be, "Of course, the real challenge was getting across Paris without stepping in dog shit."

@MauroNigro Ай бұрын

the paris bit is nice. because in paris they have workers rights, a minimum wage ad a civil country.all things unknown in the US. :-)

@MsLyricLee Ай бұрын

"Best Guac Ever." 🤣🤣🤣

@cookies1171 Ай бұрын

It had your name on it!!😂

@oliviaarnest5536 Ай бұрын

The Whitehouse needs a new official holiday; Borrowers' Amnesty Day in which anything taken can be returned with impunity. It'll be kind of like reverse trick or treating, leave a box out on your porch and your things reappear.

@olorin4317 Ай бұрын

Don’t put the gator on a diet, put it in a fryer! They’ve already fattened him up. People starving in the world, but we put our food on diets.

@danieljob3184 Ай бұрын

People who think they could compete in NASCar lose their lunch just watching Bathurst! 😎🏁

@nelliekenny9630 Ай бұрын

Not wrong 😂

@michaelsantarlas17 Ай бұрын

Sharp! Sounds like Steven had the guacamole dip

@dougwalker4944 Ай бұрын

love the shout out to nascar..then the slam!!!

@user-lb1ws4ko5m Ай бұрын

Good luck trying to sneak that back in through the metal detectors and worse, explaining why you have that in the first place! 😂

@deamontube30 Ай бұрын

The iron bank winked and said you could have gold.

@IvanKosta-dv5mw Ай бұрын

That would be some hangry gator ! 🐊

@PollyWillNenKeks Ай бұрын

Background knowledge from Europe: If you let a French breakfast cool for 30 minutes, it becomes a Dutch breakfast.😇

@liamwalsh4008 Ай бұрын

Da bekommst du keinen Keks. Es tut mir Leid.

@PollyWillNenKeks Ай бұрын

perfect french, nice

@liamwalsh4008 Ай бұрын

@@PollyWillNenKeks Mais oui, je parle toujours parfait de Français, certainement. Uhh... Baguette, Arc de Triomphe, le French toast, etc. Fransk er i sagens natur latterligt, det ved vi alle. 👍

@cylentone Ай бұрын

To the NASCAR scene - the Kelce brothers suggested a new NFL rule to Roger Goodell: one hockey-style fight in every football game.

@mariekastler5391 Ай бұрын

"Stowaway's flunky bunk" new standard of excellence for meanwhile!

@LadySingsTheBooze Ай бұрын

broccoli freckles was the name of my punk band in college.

@rmtab6511 Ай бұрын

If Janet Yellen said it was fine then it was fine.

@JCTiggs1 Ай бұрын

MEANWHILE....🎉😊

@JigInsane Ай бұрын

Nascar + Road Rage = what Mario Kart Go should've been

@greenthumb8266 Ай бұрын

Ol’ Sticky-fingers Steven !

@MattJr4793 Ай бұрын

does anyone besides me yell out MEANWHILE during the opening for it 🤣🙌🔥💚

@lina9535 Ай бұрын

Absolutely 👍

@alvinemaina Ай бұрын

Totally

@alwood9148 Ай бұрын

hahahaa yep

@ringomylove Ай бұрын

Every time 😂

@hotmac22 Ай бұрын

Yup!😂😂😂😂

@archuleta1000 Ай бұрын

Seems like Don Junior‘s been eating a lot of guacamole🤫😳🤣

@leanoramccarthy7726 Ай бұрын

How dare u snitch on Janet Yellin, or, most importantly, Evie! Evie is an angel among mortals and her hair smells like cinnamon! 😮🫢😤🤬 🤣🤣

@WoundedEgo Ай бұрын

Colbert is great at his job.

@AmericanTeacher-USA Ай бұрын

Best broccoli freckles ever !!

@brolol3136 Ай бұрын

That's so cool 😎☺️ Thanks for the take 💓💯 Hello from Belarus 🇧🇾😇

@jeffpoteau4357 Ай бұрын

And the alligator washes it all down with a diet coke.

@gavincassells7585 Ай бұрын

Janet Yellen's husband is the renowned Nobel prize winning economist George Akerlof, famous for the Market for Lemons paper! (it's about selling cars, not lemons)

@aremoreequal Ай бұрын

The White House should sell those things in the gift shop or something.

@user-qj1hq2qu8c Ай бұрын

😂😂 greatest guac ever!

@user-zb7uh2ob1r Ай бұрын

Something tells me the White House expects people to take those little card holders.

@CODDE117 Ай бұрын

I would never give it back

@andrewsincek2373 Ай бұрын

Colbert, STEAL: Strategic Transfer of Equipment to Alternate Locations

@augustconnors260 Ай бұрын

I think it's ok to take the place card with the parliamentary logo. I went to a state dinner and kept the name card. Later that year they asked people to return the knifes, forks and spoons with no questions asked. They ended up with teapots, serving platters being returned as well as the above. 😮

@RadioCamp Ай бұрын

Same quote as @JolieJolie21. Hmmm...

@Mortthemoose Ай бұрын

😂😂

@NAjustlikeatrumptroll Ай бұрын

Don't worry Stephen. You could declassify the card holder with your mind …

@nancymorton5636 Ай бұрын

I love Colbert!! The anti-crime logo on the racecar was PRICELESS!! MEANWHILE, Steven makes it all come together and feel OK when the day closes. Ahh, thank you, Steven!

@johnnygoodman2003 Ай бұрын

Nascar with roadrage is just canadians driving the highway.

@stevekastama1014 Ай бұрын

It would be awesome if they acted out a live demonstration of one of the Meanwhile introductions:”But sometimes…”

@migmit Ай бұрын

Meanwhile starts at 3:43

@carbine090909 Ай бұрын

"Flunkie bunk of news" 😂😂😂😂❤❤

@GiGi-lg1dl Ай бұрын

I see you, and I raise you: cocaine avocados aren’t that much more expensive than regular avocados

@sethescope Ай бұрын

my favorite thing about this comment is I haven't finished the video yet so I get to imagine what fresh chaos unleashes in the five minutes I have left to prompt a comment like this 😂

@lashendawest7509 Ай бұрын

Good morning stephen colbert fans

@janf5193 Ай бұрын

I love the place card holder routine! It would have been hilarious if they had had a couple secret service types wander out onto the stage and cuff Steven.

@mszoomy Ай бұрын

Thanks for the giggles

@patrickpryor6962 Ай бұрын

Stowaway’s flunky bunk. Y’all come up with the best names for new bands.

@yurielcundangan9090 Ай бұрын

Stephen Stealing president’s tie is gold😂

@mellocello187 Ай бұрын

That was a joke. They weren’t wearing ties.

@gastonneal724 Ай бұрын

I used to feed this gator, at lunch. In Clearwater FL. Cheeseburgers😂😂

@catherinephonevalencia2937 Ай бұрын

Thank you Mr. Colbert. You are a bright light in what seems to be an increasingly dark world. "Best guac Ever" made me fall off the sofa! Thanks again!

@jaynsrock Ай бұрын

Thanks for the strike joke, this is not cliché... it' s tradition XD

@yurielcundangan9090 Ай бұрын

Gotta love bro Stephen got some guts

@MistressOnyaCox Ай бұрын

😂 it had your name on it it's yours 😅

@susanfrancis5471 Ай бұрын

Now you have to go to Confession Stephen. Then you can keep it.😊

@MausMasher54 Ай бұрын

I always asked before it disappeared....

@sonsaregurley8239 Ай бұрын

Hey snitches get...😅😅

@masatosway4558 Ай бұрын

The hardest thing about eating vegetables is sneaking them out of the hospital.

@alg9330 3 күн бұрын

Nooo don’t give it back! Keep it!!

@lifeofnanaa Ай бұрын

I swear the broccoli freckles was a thing like 3 years ago already 😅

@TanyaStingley Ай бұрын

Amazing how flexible your morals are.

@kayladawn Ай бұрын

I like most florida, that's a funny segments!😂😂❤❤❤

@SolRC Ай бұрын

@6:13 your punching down, Steven, its recorded for history.

@dielaughing73 Ай бұрын

Oh, you really got him there

@justsayin5609 Ай бұрын

New use for veg-- broccoli freckles 😂😂😂😂

@vintagethings9187 Ай бұрын

Unfortunately the large amount of cocaine in the avocados substantially reduced the monetary value of the shipment 😮