Roommate: “How dare you treat my girlfriend like a person??? Now she is going to expect that from me!”

I'd like to point out that the boyfriends is intentionally lowering his girlfriends quality of life if he doesn't want anyone else to treat her well. He complained about simple kindness she received and wants it to stop. Girl run.

Had it been a girl who made the cake the bf wouldn’t be bothered. He feels threatened because it’s a dude who cooks , so instead of stepping up his game and participating in the household chores he cries about it. It’s good his gf sees what type of guy he really is. Straight for the bin.

That is an REAL southern man!!!! In the south when we have guests, we always get what they like to make them feel comfortable and welcome. His roommate need to be taken notes, not complaining about the cheesecake.

The guys remembered she liked the cheese cake so he cooked it or baked it because he likes cooking. He didnt ask her. It was a past conversation

Im a southern and i completely agree i grew up making things specifically for our guest if we know they like certain things.

the roommate’s story about the cheesecake, i honestly don’t see a issue, and yeah i was born and raised in the south.. like southern hospitality is no joke.. he’s a real southern man ..

My friend had a dog that had severe separation issue and he used to eat through the door, use the bathroom everywhere , even chewed at the bed frame . Sister is not in the wrong

Wait are we gonna ignore that the husband is defending the MIL that’s CLEARLY WRONG?!

It’s a southern thing. It’s our hospitality when we have guest to usually have favorite foods or desserts that they prefer.

I currently have a dog with separation anxiety. That anxiety is no joke and you genuinely can't leave a dog like that at home. They will chew things, destroy things, pee, poop or scratch at the door and howl and bark. It was so hard to train this dog to not do that. Thankfully we can now leave him home alone after months of training and conditioning but it was very tough. You just can't leave a dog like that alone at home until it's trained or feels safe in its environment.

I personally would be obsessed with how story 2 OP makes bread as I am learning how to make it myself. The roommate is so weird, his girlfriend can’t like food other men cook? Does he ask if the chef is a man at restaurants? If I were the gf I’d break up with him and ask OP if I can pay him to teach me to make bread. ETA: he has a smoker????? Make that bread and meat 😤

Last story is giving stalker vibes. Also not being funny but he's so bitter that he "wasted six months on her" but the way he's still clinging on he's still giving time to a relationship that's not going anywhere, except maybe to the police station when she gets a restraining order. She doesn't owe him a relationship.

UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES should they tell a family member! I would however recommend a therapist work through the revelation of their parentage and the associated trauma/ upheaval. People can be unpredictable when money is involved. While it may not legally impact her inheritance, it can still leave her open to emotional or literal blackmail...

Is the roommate single?👀 aka OP

Depending on where he live, taking that cat to a shelter could be a death sentence for it. If he accepted the cat, it's his responsibility to find it a good home

I moved to the south 2 years ago and I had a bit of culture shock. I quickly learned that almost every time I go to someone else's house I'm low key expected to bring something. I actually really like this but I just didn't know and probably came across as a silly northerner a few times. I'm really looking forward to getting a house here so that I can have dinner parties with my friends! I love going to my friends' places for dinner parties and I'm looking forward to when it's my turn to host

For the dog with separation anxiety it could start barking very loudly and whining constantly, she’s a good dog owner

Considering the dog reacted only after being hurt (something even a person would do) and the wife didn't even let it be in the driveway or neighborhood (???wtf is that even about????) Op is definitely not the asshole, especially when the reason the brother rejected the option was his wife. He is allowed to be hurt his sibling won't be there but he should've realized his wife was also being very unreasonable when she wouldn't even let the dog be in a car for a moment. Besides, thinking about whether it's okay or not for the dog to be that way is irrelevant for the specific situation, a pet's entire life is an owner's responsibility and not treating it properly could also bring op legal problems. Also this may just be me but if my sibling was willing to drive for 45 minutes just to say happy birthday to me even if they had to leave after 15, I'd feel pretty happy with that.

How would you bring gifts to a GENDER REVEAL party??🤷🏾‍♀️

I also express caring with food, especially sweet...and my especiality is cheesecake. Making food for people is not flerting, is just acknowledging they are there, and they are welcome. The roommate is insecure and silly. If I were the girlfriend, the whole situation would be a huge red flag. The Op seems like a nice person.

The French in me always having homemade food around if someone’s coming over. Platonic or flirting, I just have the habit of doing this and I like doing this!

For sure making food for your guests knowing if they’re coming over is a southern hospitality thing. It’s a way of welcoming people into your home and making them comfortable like they’re in their own home, ya know?

As a parent if i raised a child their whole life they are my kid regardless of blood and i would want them to have whatever i left them!

My dog broke down a door to escape busted a blood vessel in his eye trying to get out of a wire cage chewed the garage door . But that’s because our other dog was crying

I will say as someone from the south, it’s not odd to make someone their favorite food/dessert if you know it. I’ll even do it for people I just want to be kind to, I don’t have to be friends with them or anything. Food is a huge love language for us. It sounds like he was giving typical southern hospitality and was raised to be a gentleman.

I’m from the Midwest and we definitely have peoples fav foods on hand when they come over. It would be weird not too, but I also was raised in a large network family of people that love with food. 🤷‍♀️

Welcome back Sam! Also for the 37:26 Dog, Birthday story, Def Not the Asshole. For one, Pets are family. Dogs in particular should always seen as part of the family. We were not Dog owners, but we have dog bowls for water/food, treats, and toys for friends and family to bring over their dogs. We put up our cats in a separate room so they are a non-issue. It's easy, takes a few seconds, and means the world to the dog and owners. Makes everyone more comfortable, including the animals. I know this isn't normal to do in all houses, but we trying to think of everyone's needs, regardless if their human or not. The sister-in-law is being petty and there is definitely something else going on because that sort of tension stems from another larger issue. Because not even the other solutions were even considered. The Sister in law may not like animals, that seems like "a her issue". There are other people at the party that also watched the dog with no issue so shes being a drama queen and weaponizing the dog to get her way. The Sister-in-law needs to get help.

I’m from the Midwest & love to cook and bake. I also try to cook for everyone. Pass out plates all the time. It’s like my Italian grandma who’s always trying to feed people and I really hope it’s never come off as flirtatious. Cooking is a passion and people generally love food so to make something and have even a stranger appreciate it makes me feel good. I see the other side though. Never thought about it like that. Also if he is insecure because he doesn’t know how to do these things then he should see it as an advantage because he lives with the perfect person to teach him. Instead of trying to change the roomate to hide his skills because it makes him feel inferior he should ask the roomate to teach him the skills so he can feel good about himself no matter who he’s around. The roomate wasn’t born knowing how to change oil or build stuff, at one point someone taught him. No shame in learning. A desire to learn is attractive on its own.

I’m from the south, Georgia, stuff like that is literally politeness, I remember stuff from conversations and gift it to people I’m not that close with, people make meals and bring it to their neighbors when they just move in, that’s just how it is

That's literally how it is in some areas in the south. I was born in New Orleans and then raised in Georgia. You always feed your guests and you always bring something with you when you go to someone's house. When you cook regularly that's what you bring. It's easy and I LOVE YO EAT. It's a win for both of us. Some people always bring liquor or wine It's the same concept.

As a southern baker, I can attest that, yes! We will absolutely pay attention to what other people like and make it for them. Hospitality makes us happy. It's not romantic. The roommate needs to get off of his bullshit, and if he has a problem with looking bad in front of his girl, he also needs to get off his ass and step up.

The second story is a typical neurodivergent trying to make casual friends through their special interest 😂

Hyping up somebody just bc their partner is there is wack af

36:32 i just kept repeating “tell your therapist” until someone finally said it Thank you Brandon

Sam saw The Happening one time and was like NUH UH 🚫🌿🌱

I'm always baffled by people who say "Stop being so nice. You're making me look bad." So... be nicer? It's not that hard.

41:45 dogs with severe separation anxiety after abusive situations etc, can actually stress to death. They get a ton of health problems and then die from heart failure. The way the SIL handles the situation makes me also believe that she don’t like dogs and stepped on it’s tail on purpose to get a reaction from the dog, that she could later use as an excuse. She clearly isn’t afraid of dogs, but doesn’t even want OP to have the dog inside the car on the driveway. Whether you are a dog person or not, it’s clear that the SIL overreacts due to not liking the dog and not because it’s aggressive or anything like that. And also, if you leave a dog with that kind of severe separation anxiety alone for too long, they can hyperventilate untill they pass out, then come around, start hyperventilating again and pass out and just repeat the cycle untill they just don’t wake up no more.

57:39 sounded so good!! Beautiful voices 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼😍

Loving the song at the end 😭

😂😂😂 ye guys killed me with the ending absolutely perfect

I think some people (me) alway like DIY creating things. But more are like DIY doesn't make them happy. Sadly as I get older things are slower and harder!

To drop off the cat at her job... embarassing, inconvenient and makes her look unprofessional... all because dude's in his feelings. Not a single person believes he just HAD to do that and right then. 🙄

I need more of Maddie's 16:45 east coast impressions

u guys are such good vibes

For the listener question I absolutely don’t think she has done anything wrong. All she did was be born and live life being raised by the man who is her dad. And he was her father. Fathers raise a child. A sperm donor is just a sperm donor. The idea that a man would raise a child into adulthood, and then disinherit them based on biology is disgusting. He is gone, so his feelings about this frankly don’t matter anymore. It is up to OP if she wants to make DNA results public. But even if she does that no one has any claim on the money that she has inherited. Because once again, he acted as her father throughout her entire childhood. He is her father. Sometimes I think our society is too hung up on sperm.

y'all kinda snapped on that song at the end. when is the E.P./ album dropping?

That can we talk outro was beautiful

Here’s a weird thing I noticed about plants and dust…. Only fake plants collect dust on the leaves. Real plants don’t ever have dust on them. Has anyone else noticed that??

If the bf was insecure about what the girlfriend said about the roommate, why not ask the roommate to teach him so she can look at him thst way

Leaving a dog alone with separation anxiety can be damaging to the house or the dog (some can chew the kennel and all that) so id say not the asshole but just the responsibility of owning a dog

She can’t kennel the dog for 1 1/2 because the brother lives 45 minutes away, it takes an hour and a half just to travel, and the brother wants her too stay a few hours too

half my grandparents are southern (white american) and half are japanese. i was raised to always anticipate giving gifts and accepting them, whether i'm hosting or a guest. some ppl are just raised that way! and some people (op's rooommate) arent, that is not the issue. the issue is that roommate doesnt want to actually give his gf nice things or show her effort/acts of service! he just wants to be seen as a guy who can, not a guy who DOES. 😂

52:46 DO YOUR RESEARCH IF YOU HAVE A PET YOU CANT/DONT WANT TO KEEP. Please! don’t get rid of cats/dogs at animal control or a shelter before calling or checking online FIRST. Some of those places will straight up kill that animal if they aren’t adopted within a week. There are services that will safely care for pets in need of a home without risk of life prematurely being put down for an arbitrary time limit- all it takes is a few moments of research.

I’m willing to bet that that dog is a lot more aggressive than the poster is letting on

3:34 sounds to me like you *knew* that your mother-in-law was going to spill the beans. NTA.

45:51 my question: after two-plus years, they've only gotten up to 45 minutes that the dog can be alone? I'm much more interested in that situation. Is that the real situation? Or....is OP using her dog as an excuse, because she really just doesn't want to attend the party?

first full video i’m watching of this podcast (came from ig) because I wanted to hear the dialogue but to me you guys are so awkward 😭 Not in a bad way lol clearly i’m new to the dynamic but the amount of awkward silences i perceived was a little comical

When I did 23 and me, they specifically said that pretty much none of your father’s family will show up because they can’t trace it because you don’t have a Y chromosome That I needed to connect my profile to a known male relative of my father. So I’m wondering how her 23 and me showed up with all these relatives on her dad side….

15:05 cut to you and your roommate having a romantic Ghost(1990) type sequence before awkwardly splitting off 😂

The mother is the AH for keeping the childs parentage to herself, even after the "daddy" passed she said nothing.

45:24 This commenter can kick rocks in hell. OP literally gave them options, something they really shouldn't have had to do. The wife should be grateful that OP trained the dog well. It should have bit her but, instead of acknowledging that, *they* arbitrarily ban the dog. OP tried. They didn't.

can confirm, thats exactly how it is on the east coast 😂

Note: it every southern person is like that. But a lady with a successful catering company from Louisiana… yeah that tracks lol

Why does it feel like they don’t really like each other so many awkward silences

Look up the video on how to use Vicks PROPERLY! It could really help!

Sam that's your insecurity talking. He bakes all the time and she probably just gave him an idea for something to bake. I cook all the time and if someone mentions a dish in passing that sounds good, I'm gonna fucking make it lol

The roommate is jealous from someone who was born in New York and lived In the south for 12 years it's called southern hospitality for a reason they are genuinely nice cuz I cook bake and do nice things for ppl and I'll tell any and everyone drive safe be safe.. plus as a new Yorker we do t like ppl that's to nice wr think is an alternative motive so no not the ah

I had the weirdest interaction with insecure ppl, I’m married committed relationship and we have a kid. But these women thought I was after their boyfriends, these guys I new before I ever meant these chicks but I was put on blast like OP anything I said or did as a polite host they treated me like a cheating ho. I think it goes beyond insecurity and jealousy I don’t get it and now these men are not in my life anymore 😢

Concerning the sister who could attend the party I truthfully question how honest she's being about her dog. I don't believe a loud bark was enough to make her SIL uncomfortable to have it around guests or even in the neighborhood. I figured it was a dog with aggression issues when she says it's the sweet dog....once you she gets to know you. I've known a lot of owners with aggressive dogs who say that as a preloaded excuse. I also question the idea that she's never more than an hour away from the dog. I wonder how long she's had the dog as there isn't a reasonable rationale for not having it crate trained. Ultimately she is making a decision for herself & hopefully with training she'll get her freedom back. But no one is really TA in the situation.

27:12 He might not have been your father, but he was definitely your daddy. And shame on your mother for cheating on him. NTA.

27:42 Kinda TA but girl keep that money and you could always pay it back later

The dude in story 3 dry snitched on his own insecurities

Im sorry...but as an animal person...🖕🏼 the brother and sister in law...you wanna alienate my dog for something YOU as a human did, i dont wanna be anywhere around yall. My animals are more important to me than some day telling everyone you had an enother year on this earth. Thank goodness i was raised in a family where it aint that big a deal. Lol. But of course, my brother AND sister in law are also animal people so id never have to worry about them doing that. 😂😂

I get the dog has separation anxiety. Still 100% 3 years on you can’t kennel or the dog at all. 4 hours away from someone should definitely be fine after all this time. Makes no sense. I would also take my dog and kennel them in his home because that’s the easiest compromise.

8:21 judging from the title alone, no! That's called *_manners!_* All right, let's hear the story. So far, your roommate sounds hella insecure about his girlfriend. Apparently he thinks she's impressed by you? Yeah, he's definitely insecure. He needs to check himself. Not the asshole

NTA for the bio dad story. It’s not her responsibility for her parents mistakes. Like Brandon said. I believe I saw someone else recommending trauma therapy and perhaps family counseling, for that will help a lot with unresolved guilt. THATS NOT EVEN HERS. But still. I don’t think she’s the a**hole. Especially in this economy lol

First of all bring back can we talk to subscribers right now

"THE CHROMMEEEE"

Does 23andMe show paternity?

I have a great mother in law. Lol. They do exists.

Not gonna lie, lil scared about Sams willingness to lie to their friends partners. You’re just going to gaslight the partner into believing all these things. Then when it comes out, they can’t do it/you were lying, it’s gonna be a like a bomb. When you could’ve just told the truth or not lied. I would be furious if I was with somebody and their friends are having hyping them up and it’s all fake. Why are you trying to trap me with your friend, let me find somebody who can do what I want/need in a partner 😂

I'll marry that good time no questions asked

38:17 kinda girl leave her home

10:58 nta roommates an ah

I’m getting everybody sucks here from the first story. They both lied and are generally being so ridiculous. First the DIL, she seems not to care about a gender reveal so I don’t really understand why she wanted it to be kept a secret or not want to know the gender till the reveal. For the MIL, it seems this is actually important to her but she clearly only cared about herself and is not at all considerate of how the DIL feels and was so blinded by this one goal that she would say anything to get her way.

Y’all could have put me to bed with the lack of energy in this pod cast. But honestly it’s not a bad thing- just label which of your pod casts are for sleeping! Sam’s voice could put me right to bed!

First?

Second Story: I'm not southern, but I have family and friends that are and I'm calling bullshit that he made the cheesecake because just out of hospitality. Were it a simpler recipe I'd be like "yeah checks out", but a good quality cheesecakes generally take EIGHT HOURS to make. Typically the only times I hear people make it are for special occasions like a family holiday or a birthday - otherwise you buy it from the store. There are recipes that cheat the time, but their quality very much varies. Are you telling me this man just casually made a dish that takes an entire work shift just because of hospitality? Hell no man, either he's into her or he did it to make the roommate look bad.

Admittedly I’m not a dog person but siding with op in that story is weird. That dog is a burden if you can’t leave it alone ever.