Exactly. I’ve eliminated all the toxic people in my life, yet the biggest one, my covert narc father is still in my life with only a short time left. He’s determined to make me his punching bag and family scapegoat because he hates his family, and only values his co-toxic validators who have equally abusive personalities. Abusers stick together.

And we abused folks are sticking together too out in the light with our shared and growing insight. 👍🏻 Their bleak darkness will never win in the end.

Introversion is NOT Avoidant

Look at this viper talking about opinions that they don't agree with

@AgendaInMind Now their cover is blown, and the trick is over, we, their adult children are sticking together too. The power of honest communication and shared insight lies with us!

That can be true based on those I've talked to who have this disorder besides myself, but in my case, my parents both show almost all the symptoms while I have shown every single one. I think rather than being all that narcissistic, they are simply deeply insecure people who projected and imparted their issues onto me.

🧡

Hahsha I just asked that question Can having a covert, narcissist, mother, lead to having avoidant personality traits?

I think so.

Just to clarify: there's a fairly large difference between anxious/avoidant attachment disorder, and Avoidant Personality Disorder. AvPD is about a person who's essentially afraid of the whole world, including a tendency towards agoraphobia, whereas someone with avoidant attachment prefers independence and self-reliance rather than being comfortable with romantic intimacy. So, romantic trust issues without any easy cure would be avoidant attachment style, while AvPD would mean that if another person can find a way to convince you they TRULY love and appreciates you no matter how weird you are or how awkward you might be, they'll feel like a very safe place in a scary world.

Awaiting diagnosis, autism (have ADHD)completely relate. Thank you History of abuse from narcissistic parents

Yep. But covert narcissists tend to hurt you and you will notice that quickly. APDs are probably more self-critical.

Recluse...me too.

Me too! Being around people is exhausting.

For me, my covert narcissistic father picked on me and criticized me growing up. He was also neglectful and repeatedly cheated on my mother over and over, and she stayed due to her own family traumas. Toxic families destroy their kids.

@AgendaInMind But we survive and we can in time learn to become strong.

@@simonandrews4355 Thank you. I have since joined a 12 Step group for dysfunctional families. It’s helping already!

Well you probably should listen better. He also said that AVPD causes people to act in ways that avoid conflict AND REJECTION. If a person with AVPD believes that the only way to keep their partner around is to sleep with them, they likely will. They're likely to go along with WHATEVER a partner wants to avoid conflict. WTF are you talking about? Again, the article probably stated it because IT'S TRUE, people with AVPD AGAIN, go along with things to AVOID CONFLICT AND REJECTION.

@ narcabusefreezone6798, Thank you for your response. They want to avoid conflict at any cost makes me think of ghosting, hiding out, stuff like that. What am I talking about? Ok, specifically, narcopaths ( narcissim and psychopathy co-morbid with or without avoidant ).That means two or more personality disorders simultaneously occurring called: co-morbid. People who play games with people and use many people for sex and hook-ups who ghost you, give you the silent treatment when you confront them on something; who claim that they can’t help themselves. That they do it to everyone, I.e. friend and family who beg them to go into therapy but who refuse to. They will come up with excuses like it’s anxiety disorder. The KZfaq have creators that claim that this type of person is avoidant attachment style. I think some claim avoidant personality disorder but when you jump down into the comment section people say, b.s. they’re narcopaths. That they are doing it deliberately. So I’ve been thinking about it and I wonder if the DSM-5 says that they lack empathy because if they don’t then that would mean that the players are not just avoidant personality disordered but are co-morbid with a personality disorder that is known to lack empathy. I’m just trying to cut through the bull. And I’m thinking that that article that I read is bull. So what I did was is Google the DSM-5 definition on avoidant PD to see for myself but I fell asleep. I will have to finish that. Thank you. And don’t come at me saying that I’m dumb and naive for falling for a player's game; like I said, there’s a lot of bad information out there and it will mislead people. The KZfaq channels are about how to keep or get back with the avoidant, but their examples sound like psychopaths, players playing games. That’s going to mean that people are being misled, in my opinion to stay with the avoidant to work it out when they may not be just avoidant. You clear it up by knowing exactly what an avoidant is.

No need to be belligerent

Narcissism is NOT a mental disorder, it is a personality problem, poor social skills, and bad hygiene also aren't mental disorders.

This! The narcissism included here is what I've witnessed in my fiancee's 20 y/o son, but couldn't quite grasp how it "fit in" with all of the other traits of his AVPD. I've often wondered, how does he manage to exhibit the audacity to be so arrogant, and yet so childish, entitled and ignorant at the same time.

@@SteeleMagnolia Usually one of the very common mental disorders associated with AVPD is narcissism as narcissism becomes a highly dominant coping mechanism especially in adults. I have found both NPD and AVPD in one of family member as well and they show strong signs of both NPD and AVPD (the common term for this in psychology is "co-morbidity"). Typically when one finds one mental disorder they are accompanied by other mental disorders as well. Mental disorders are not typically found in isolation. Hope this helps!

@@happycat0411 Thank you so much for this info, as it does make so much sense.

@@SteeleMagnolia BTW, the reason why mental disorders and usually not found in isolation is the brain (ego) generates alternative coping mechanisms to deal with the problem(s) it is confronted with. Often you will see +3 mental illness altogether. it's the ego way of trying to cope with the stress it has to deal with. If a person with a mental problem does not get treatment before their late 20s or early 30s what happens is after the body stops growing at this point and the mental disorders become ingrained permanently into the individual's personality for the remainder of their life. This is why mental health treatment is especially important while they they are still in their late 20s. Once the body stops developing the mental disorder become a permanent of the individual's personality.

he already made a ton of them, Jack!

@ helenarubio3371, Hi. I googled avoidant PD and the article said that they can have many sex partners. How could this even be possible after hearing all of these symptoms? Would you happen to know? Also, there are tons of KZfaq videos calling some lovers in relationships, avoidant, meaning that they can have sexual encounters but don’t want intimacy and ghost because of that. These videos try to give advice on how to help out the avoidant. People in the comment section write: Don’t! Run! Thanks!

Bonnielee, I am a hermit, a recluse.

@ helenarubio3371, Thanks. I watched a video on it by Jim Brillon. In his definition it is all pervasive. To me that means in the sex life as well. He did mention that some have relationships but even still there will be difficulty. Someone in the comment section objected and figured that the disorder should make it very hard for them to be able to even get into a relationship. I conclude that that article, that I read, must be wrong. Then I looked up the DSM-5 definition and started reading but then didn’t finish because I fell asleep. That’s where a better answer should be found. Thank you.

Why are you asking the same question to everyone? Do your own research.@@bonnielee316

@@narcabusefreezone6798 Why are you so belligerent?

Have you considered he could have been a vulnerable narcissist?

This doesn't sound like AVPD at all.