Matt, you're just bad at Criticom. Every morning I wake up and palm slam a CD-ROM into the Sony Playstation. It's Criticom and right then and there I start doing the moves alongside the main character, Sonork Nezom. I do every move and I do every move hard. Making whooshing sounds when I slam down some Zerai bastards or even when I mess up a technique. Few can say they recovered The Relic. I can. I say it and I say it outloud everyday to people in my Zoom class and all they do is prove that people in Zoom class can still be immature jerks. 2 hours including wind down every morning.

The fact that both life bars move in the same direction instead of towards the clock or away from each other bothers me more than it should.

Watching Matt struggle to win a fight and remembering that I played all the way through and unlocked everyone's ending and "victory code" makes me wonder if that's why I'm in therapy today.

this game makes the AI feels like he's your older brother and just gave you the second controller and he bullied you the whole game.

Demonica's cutscene made me think that she was an oblivion character that they tried to make sexy, but no matter what they tried, it didn't work. So they just said "fuck it, give her the smallest metal bikini we can". In game, she looks like someone tried to make an OSRS character sexy.

Demonica's backstory: "Pfft, I don' fuckin' know. We have five months to shit this out you think we have time for a backstory?"

Just based on the characters when you said it was a comic book license, I instantly knew it's Spawn. Demonica has to be Angela, SID is Overtkill, Gorm is Violator…

The title sounds like someone's youtube show criticizing Capcom.

I always love it when Matt makes references to Max. Since it's generally at Max's expense.

Believe it or not, in the final issue of the UK’s Sega Saturn Magazine, one mail order game company was advertising that they were selling US import games, and offered a free copy of Criticom with every order! They must’ve needed to get rid of those games ASAP!

Max's "GET UP!" needs to be an alarm tone

My first thought when I saw the main menu was "Where the hell is the training option?" My first thought upon seeing the gameplay was "Where the hell is the option to view your movelist?"

You are the reason Max played this. That was fucking hilarious

This is the first PS1 game I’ve ever played. My Dad set up the console and put this game in (other games he bought were: Warhawk, Krazy Ivan, Twisted Metal, and Agile Warrior). My grandmother who was in her mid 70s at the time also picked up a controller. I chose the green goblin looking thing and she chose the short haired lady. We both had no clue what was going on. And there is my first PS1 memory ever. RIP WHITE NANA.

Sonork sounds like a noise Godzilla would make if he had a cold.

Delora: NOOOOOOO! *Holds up her sword in triumph*

We need a Wha Happun on this.

The characters mutated or got cybernetic enhancements each time you beat the game with them. The Demonica you remember was probably the finished product. I beat that game with every character. 14-year old me was invested.

"Gorn, the mightiest of the Doorknobs"

Who else wants to see Matt and Max go head-to-head in a 2-player Criticom deathmatch?

"What a Waffle of a man" ...OK i'm stealing this!

Sonork is Kronos backwards, SO creative

Here's a fun fact for you: Kronos was the same company that did all the cut scenes for Eternal Champions: Challenge from the dark side. just compare the art from Criticom and EC and it is unmistakable. And if I remember right they were also the same company that did those horrible 3D building animations from the Spider-man TAS Catroon from the 90's on Fox. You know the ones, the background scenes that always had Spider-man swinging through the city.

Holy Shit. This was one of the first games I received when I got my PlayStation. My parents didn't want to spend any more money on it so they went with what was on sale and this was it.

I was unfortunate enough to have purchased this back in the day (I was in my 20s). The only character I remember being able to play somewhat successfully was Demonica. She had this threefold attack (like giant fireballs) and that's how I beat the game, by spamming the move over and over. It was terrible. Ironically, I loved the soundtrack lol

Matt, after seeing you play this game, I'm kinda hoping that you do a "What Happened" episode about it.

Every intro should end in a "would you like to know more?"

5:27 best death scream ever

A game so bad it spawned a whole series from Matt 😂💜

This was one of my first game. All I remember is the alien would fall off the edge of the platform and yell yettiiiiiiiiii

I can’t believe this actually got dethroned

It certainly isn’t dong dong never die

I remember playing the crap out of this game when it was new. I do have my nostalgia glasses for it. It seems none of the people I watch play this game never makes it through the full tournament. It consists of going through the roster three times, each time the characters get altered designs like wings or rocket launchers or more armor or something. I don't remember if its the case, but I think that's where the special moves come in. Depending on what stage of upgrade the character is in, allows more moves to be used.

I was really confused because Gorm looked a lot like a character from a meh fighting game on the N64 and then you explained Dark Rift is actually a sequel of sorts.

Two thought occurred the moment I started watching this. One: "I've played this before." Two: "WHY did I play this before???"

every time a cutscene plays or the narrator talks about lore I just want to scream "oh my god who cares"

This unlocked a memory from a PlayStation demo disc.

This is certainly a game that exists, isn't it?

13:23 There's something so funny about the low hum music combined with the slow spinning move. Such absolute shit *chef kiss* I love it.

The echo on Matt's "NOOOoooo" was a nice touch

If Criticom was so bad, how come there’s no Criticom 0.5?

Worse than Rise of the Robots?! That's actually impressive...

I remember that when I was little, my dad couldn’t afford to buy me the newest game, so they bought me Criticom because it was on sale...to me it wasn’t terrible, I loved that game because it was from my dad...my favorite characters were Gorm and Dayton, and I believe after you beat the game, the character beat the game with, the character gets a new skin (I shed a tear thinking about it.....) (but i guess the game was terrible looking at now 😅)

I remember owning this and being like “this sucks” but I liked that you could upgrade characters and wanted to see what they would become. Horrible haha

The box art looks like a game Matrix would play in ReBoot season 3. The actual game looks like a crappy one Bob would play in season 1.

Imagine someone wasting their life making this and thinking "Yeah that's good enough."

Jesus, I mean... at least the _Bio F.R.E.A.K.S_ were, y'know, F.R.E.A.K.S? This looks like you took that out and replaced it with nothing.

God it's been a long time since I laughed like the dodging montage made me laugh. Watching Matt figure out the systems (you know, such as they are) is great, but this editing is also fantastic

Here's a fun little bit of trivia for you. You know those really crappy CGI scenes in the Spider-Man 1990s cartoon? Kronos made those too!

Matt if you see this : look up Arm Joe, it's a japanese fighting game based on Les Misérables by Victor Hugo. as a french person and fan of the book I can tell you it's WILD and as a fighting game it is definitely : an experience

The "key" to Criticom (if it has one) is learning how to throw and push your opponents off the platform. This has limited effectiveness, though, as S.I.D. is completely immune to throws (probably not deliberately).

This game makes ehrgeiz look like Tekken It makes dong dong never die look like MVC

There’s probably a fighting game hell where this, Dual Heroes, and Goonya Fighter are taking up space.

At least Criticom has ring outs, in Dark Rift you're just stuck on a flat hellscape with no way to escape

I had the experience of owning this on my Sega Saturn. $14.99? Can’t afford not to.

You're right, the whole budget went into the cut scenes.

The game had a leveling up system where their looks and powers get an update. Demonica at her level 3 is more monster like

"Sergeant Exene comes from a worn torn world" even the intros are f'ed up lol

I finally got round to watching this after all the other "worst fighting game" videos, and I wasn't disappointed 😂

Mortal Kombat 2 levels of input reading by the computer opponents

Don't mind me, just pirouetting around my opponent for 90 seconds while a bangin' acoustic guitar cover of FANG's theme plays

Holy crap. I remember playing this as a kid on my Sega Saturn and thinking "this is kinda bad." Looks like I was right.

Rented this back in the day, my abiding memory was the fighter who had the winning quote ‘who’s your daddy?’

The narrator sounds like the "Where did you learn to fly?" Head from that AVGN episode.

Gorm is literally a copy of the Gorm creatures that fought Kirk in the star trek series.

Demonica looks like an Elder Scrolls: Oblivion character

I have apparently played this game. The sound of the ninja lady falling off the stage has awakened an old, abandoned memory in my brain.

That ring out scream has me in tears.

There is something cathartic about hearing elevator music while a 3d model of a something is trying to twirl around

I knew I recognized the name and general shape of Sonork. I actually played Dark Rift back on the N64 in the day and man, I recall him being the second to last opponent you fought and he could basically hit any range with his attacks (special move button presses are shared between all Dark Rift characters, learn one character's moves, you learn them all). He lost one of his hands and got it replaced with this cannon that also had three blades in it and if you were far enough away, he'd extend them out so far and fast it'd hit you. Zero tracking on it, but that's what his cannon was for, it could shoot 3-5 shots I forget, but he tracked your movement so you had to keep moving along the 3D plane to not get hit. He was a bastard that acted as the gatekeeper to the final battle and I swear that Demitron was easier than Sonork. Interestingly, if you beat the last boss Demitron, you could play as him in the same story tournament, but there's Demonica who's planning on backstabbing Demitron and fighting her as Demitron like turns her into an old-school SNK boss who completely ignores whatever difficulty you've set the game for and just goes all out because it's like her AI is programmed to not hold back against Demitron as she's intent on betraying him. I actually could not view his ending myself (he does have one) purely because of that Demonica's AI suddenly deciding to not hold anything back. I did beat it as Sonork and I was... not happy with his ending, not happy at all. If you go to the vgmuseum website and look at the endings for Criticom, Demonia's has her transforming in the ending into what she looked like in Dark Rift.

matts laugh is the best thing about this video seriously

Dayton looks like a less buff Duke Nuke'Em

Yenji stage had the best music

The worst game I played not just fighting games in general. Nearly unplayable and you can’t even get past the first character

As someone who didn't have the Playstation I used to be jealous when I saw the game's pics in magazines (it was before Internet's mass expansion)

I think "Killing Zone" on PS1 has this game beat for the worst fighting game title. A fighting game where you fight as monsters like Frankenstein, Minotaur, a Mummy etc. Sounds cool right....? Matt, please do a playthrough of that game and a Wha Happun episode.

I used to play this game like crazy. You have to beat the game 3 time with each character to level the characters up. The more you level up your fighters the more fighting moves and powers they are able to do

14:18 - Yeah, that's the perfect music for this situation.

“You better do something cool. Like piss off a cliff or something.” ...wait, what?!?

I stand by my earlier opinion when I saw a clip of this game in another of your videos but had no idea what the game was. The game itself looks terrible, but that S.I.D. character is one of the coolest things I've ever seen in an early PS1 game. Of course I'll admit my bias in that I absolutely love robots that look more like robots than people and the blocky graphics kind of work for a machine character.

Wow yea this is the worst. Worst than Ultra Vortek, and Way of the Warrior, and Bloodstorm even!

That opening cutscene gave me nostalgia. And that was the one good part.

That intro is giving off dangerously high levels of WARRIOR OF THE LOST WORLD energy.

When you began circling around her and that smooth track began I laughed, but when it began again for the end of the round I died

Gorm is just a giant booger in Sayian power armor

The sense of nostalgia for me when seeing early 90’s FMV/CGI is unmatched.

8:14 Memories broken The truth goes unspoken I’ve even forgotten my name I don’t know the season or what is the reason I’m standing g here holding my blade A desolate place (place) Without any trace (trace) It’s only the cold wind I feel It’s me that I spite as I stand up and fight The Only Thing I Know For Real There will be blood! shed! The man in the mirror nods his head The only one! Left! Will ride upon the dragon’s back Because the mountains don’t give back what they take Oh no, there will be blood! Shed! It’s the only thing I’ve ever known Losing my identity, wondering have I gone insane To find the truth in front of me, I must climb this mountain range Looking downward from this deadly height Never realizing why I fight!

The music playing during the Yenji intro sounds like the music that plays during the robot butler scene of Rocky 4.

Please do Psychic Force. Is Taito, is 90's, is fighting game... and have ANIME !!!

While Spawn might add up, I wouldn't be surprised if the comic license that got moved to some other dev/publisher ended up being canceled. Not saying that is what happened, just that it's a possible option.

I'm not fully convinced that this is a real game... But I did like the acoustic FANG theme at 14:20

Anybody else hear the start of Inspector Gadget at the start of Dayton's intro?

Kind of a shock that the same guys that made this also made Fear Effect, which is a personal favorite on the PS1 Library from me.

This is nightmare fuel. And I am all for it

So I decided to look up a guide on this game to understand how the hell it's actually managed to be played....There's next to no actual input moves outside of the standard 236 input. The dive is just jump and attack, while nearly every special move involves HOLDING R1 or R2 and pressing other buttons....not to mention that throws are apparently tap forward R1/R2? This is a jank as hell control scheme to my input-move-experienced-only eyes.

It took awhile but criticom is no longer the worst fighting game.

>weird demon lady apparates from nowhere >smacks you once >dances around you for a minute and a half >declares victory

I love that sonork was cleary an edited image of the predator mask

They left in the VA's pauses to breathe. She is voicing a robot. The robot has lungs. And the game has hardly even started.

This is unlocking a very early memory for me. I remember playing an early 3D game at a kiosk at a mall when I was like 5, and this looks a lot like it.