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Four years later and I still cannot get over the fact that, "Then, they started doing it," is considered a 'sex scene.'

*"warning: suicide and sex scene"* "THEY GAVE IT AWAY!" wattpad basically

I was in a psych ward recently and "meanwhile in the suicide hospital..." lived rent free in my head the whole time and made me laugh when few things could

"i now pronouns you man and husband" sounds like something one of those memes about wokeness would say, like comparing weddings then and now

*LOGAN PAIL*

“warning: suicide and sex” “they gave it away!” 💀💀

I still love how they just accept the mpreg right away but are angry about how unrealistic it is that the doctor can tell who the father is.

i really hope laura told danny she was pregnant by leaving the pregnancy test just in the sink and then going back to bed.

LOGAN PAIL?

drew going “did i also have sex with logan?!” is one of the funniest things someone could take out of context

The fact I watched this 10+ times and still no one has mentioned the fact that if Jackie was standing by the door the whole time, she watched drew get kidnapped and did nothing about it 💀

i love that denny is presumably just having a fucking heart attack throughout this entire story

FYI: if a male triggers a positive on a pregnancy test, it could be a sign of testicular cancer.

I love how Danny Gonzalez is always capitalized and drew gooden never is.

My favorite part of this has to be that the author made an excuse for Amanda so drew and Danny could get married but did absolutely nothing for Laura

Imagine Laura sitting peacefully downstairs and suddenly hears “LOGAN PAAAIL?!”

"Logan got on Danny and started RUᵇᵇⁱⁿᵍ ᵒⁿ ʰⁱᵐ" they are so understandably uncomfortable but it's so funny omg

imagine getting engaged in the *suicide hospital*

influencers reading shitty fanfic about themselves is like my favorite genre of video this is amazing

Can’t wait for the live action film adaptation where Kurtis plays everyone except Jackie, who’s played by Chad Chad

Funny how Shakespeares been real quiet since this dropped

warning: suicide **two lines later** “jAkE pAuL?!”

Tsk, Danny lied! He said virgins for lives, and yet (as of 2023) he’s pregnant! It’s definitely Logan’s

The most hilariously "fanfiction-y" thing about this story is the implication that all KZfaqrs know each other and are such close friends that they would be the only guests at Danny and Drew's wedding over any of their non-KZfaqr friends or family. 🤣

"Virgins for lives despite the wives" We got Boy Defined right here

Hen deserved more screentime in this story.

the celibate joke is even better now that danny is gonna be a daddy.

It's creepy as fuck to write fanfiction about real people but I appreciate that Danny and Drew are able to not take it too seriously and be able to joke about it.

Y'all out here acting like this isn't a modern literary masterpiece

Jackie described her outfit 11x better than everything else in the entire story

drew’s horse “DAAaANnNyYyy” and roared “LOGAN PAILLLL???” will never not be the funniest thing ever

"meanwhile in the suicide hospital" needs to be talked about more even after watching this video like 10 times i still cannot get over that

next time there’s a logan paul controversy, just say “go logan, go away”

Logan Pail? *Logan Pail?!* *_LOGAN PAAAAAAAAIL!_*

I love how the author’s entire perception of Danny is that he’s a chronic react KZfaqr and his only response to stimuli of any kind is uncontrollable sobbing or gasping.

The characters in this beautiful story: Danny: Danny Gonzalez, can usually be seen having a heart attack or jumping of the balcony. Hen: Drew’s butler, usually gulping. Only appears for one second. Logan Paul: A KZfaqr who tried to get with Danny-usually looking at them sweetly and wiggling around the couch. Drew: A man who can do a great impression of a horse and can also turn into a horse..slept with Jake Paul once. Drew can usually be found trying to not be flinching Jackie: A self insert to the story with a middle arm, usually stands outside of drew and Danny’s house not doing anything. Logan Pail: the man who drew screamed the name of Denny: A name like Danny, except he’s found strolling around the house-like hen except he’s not a butler. The doctors office: A VERY IMPORTANT CHARACTER. The office has his own office. H3: Guests of Drew’s wedding, Ethan was seen patting Danny’s arm and went into Logan Paul’s body during Drew and Danny’s wedding Jenna: Jenna as in Jenna Marbles..doesn’t do much but does attend both of the weddings with Drew and Danny!

drew: i’m pregnant danny: hi pregnant i’m dad logan: no you’re not

I like how this starts out as a quirky "moving in with your crush!" story and quickly spirals into shitty espionage

I’ve watched this at least 10 times since it was posted and “meanwhile, in chigaco” still gets me every time

I'm genuinely trying to figure out why the story is titled House of Gold

The fastest growing channel vs the only channel on KZfaq

PLOT TWIST: drew is a seahorse and thats why he's pregnant

this video is 4 years old, yet we haven't received a formal response from the author. come out from the shadows and take responsibility over your masterpiece

I love how this story has a plot twist every 5 minutes. I have never seen a story go into a different direction like that every 5 min.

I love how they were more shocked that Drew immediately got a pregnancy test than about the fact that Drew got pregnant at all.

Judging by Jake Paul's book, I'm 99% sure he's the author

Is this why Danny has started running half marathons??? He's training just incase Drew gets kidnapped so he'll be able to keep up with the van and save him?!?!

can't believe that dannys actually pregnant now. feels so weird.

the four nations: chigaco, coastal rica, afganistan, and the suicide hospital

Plot twist: In Afghanistan, Amanda and Laura are enemies on the battlefield and end up catching feelings for each other

"I do jewish weddings but i can marry you" 😭😭😭

hearing danny start the vid with "hope ur having a great 2019" is wild when you think 2024 is currently 4 months away

They got from "Chigaco" to "Coastal Rica" pretty damn fast.

Fun fact: if a man tests positive on a pregnancy test, it's a sign of testicular cancer

Moments that make me lose it every time I watch this 3:53: the author setting up the “one bed only” trope and never using it once 4:50: “I’M YOU’RE NEIGHBOUR :D” 5:20: “he always wondered if he was bi because of how he flirted with him on Skype” 6:29: Drew gets kidnapped and it’s not even a major plot point 7:28: “Meanwhile somewhere in *c o s t a l r i c a .* ” 7:54: “him and Logan looked at him sweetly” + reenactment (8:00) 8:48: “GO LOGAN GO AWAY GO LOGAN GO AWAY” 9:09: “DANNY 🐴” “DREW! You’re a horse!” 9:28: A totally natural piece of dialogue between two lovers 9:45: “LOGAN PAIL?!?!?!” 10:50: “Jackie whipped a tear from her face” + reenactment 11:04: “Warning: suicide and sex scene” “THEY GAVE IT AWAY!” 11:11: “meanwhile in chigaco” 12:58: “Jackie looked at Danny and then black at the video” 13:06: D e n n y 13:31: Danny and Drew calling 011 + “MY FRIEND JUST JUMPED OF THE BALCO-“ 14:18: *”MEANWHILE IN THE SUICIDE HOSPITAL”* Edit: 14:37: “WATDAYAWAAA 🫵👹” 15:11: “IM GONNA RESCUE YOU FROM THE [suicide] HOSPITAL” **proceeds to break all of Danny’s bones** 15:27: “it had two lines and was.. a pregnancy test” + Drew’s reaction (side note, this is the worst possible way to get introduced to mpreg for the first time poor Drew 💀💀) 15:32: “he B U S T E D out the bathroom” + reenactment 15:43: “gawk, dude” “EUGH???” 16:17: “they waited in the office of the dr office” 16:47: “to be continue” 17:47: “he out out his arm” “and then he looked it” “and they walked slowly out” + reenactment 18:47: “the prest” 19:49: “Ethan started going into Logan”

EVERYTHING in this fanfiction is so quotable it’s actually disastrous. for five years i’ve been saying “sake (an asian drink)” and “warning suicide and sex scene” and “LOGAN PAIL???” in everyday life and to this day I still find all of those things funny

the “warning: suicide and sex scene” had me bawling on the floor for at least 2 minutes

Honestly disappointed Amanda didn’t come back from her secret mission in Afghanistan to protest the wedding

I have "Meanwhile in Chigaco" permanently burned into my brain and I have to resist the urge to say it every five seconds because no one I know would understand the reference

So many iconic moments came just from this one video.. “LOGAN PAIL”, “coastal rica”, “chigaco”, “drew!! you’re a horse!!” just to name a few lmao

“I would never do the things that are written in this” “Do you wanna act it out?”

The fanfic sounds like a Kurtis Conner skit

As a non-native English speaker I am pretty confident I could proofread Jackie's fanfics. Unfortunately, I suspect that Jackie is a teenager.

"Meanwhile, at the suicide hospital" needs to be the name of an emo band.

"Go Logan, Go Away!" has the same energy as "Help! Let me Go"

The best kind of bad fanfiction always has inexplicable pregnancy.

I would love for them to make a short film version of this it would be so funny 💀

Every time my dad goes to Chicago I think of "Meanwhile in Chigaco" and it makes me burst out laughing every time.

Ah yes logan pail and his brother: jake bucket

Considering how quickly Danny recovers from his suicide attempt, I have to assume that the balcony he jumped off of was on the ground floor

the funniest thing was when you both said "suicide and sex scene". I never thought i would hear those two specific words next to each other but here we are.

Drew: Danny i have something to tell you *holds up positive pregnancy test* i-i have testicular cancer

danny was always gasping because of his heart condition

Why is nobody questioning the fact that neither Drew nor Danny had any relatives at their wedding. It was just fans and other KZfaqrs. And some goth with purple eyes that they met like a week prior

My only concern is how Danny managed to live through this entire fan fiction while having a heart attack.

Okay but imagine being Danny's kid, search his name in Google and found a fic of him getting married and having a kid with his best friend

I need a sequel where Amanda comes back from Afghanistan.

I love how Drew is, like, genuinely shocked when they find out the Danny isn’t the father of his fictional baby..

Coming back to this now, "Virgins for lives, despite the wives" is in fact not true anymore. But on a more serious note.. Congrats, Danny. 🎉

"What are your pronouns?" "man/husband"

“I pronouns you” is the funniest sentence ever

Fun fact: If a guy takes a pregnancy test and it's positive, he might have testicular cancer. That's no child you're carrying Drew.

this is genuinely my favorite video on the internet

“Virgin for lives despite the wives” Well Danny, do you have something to say?

My favourite character is “Hen” the butler

amanda and laura chilling in the other room and they hear *”LOGAN PAIL?”*

I watch this documentary every night before bed

There are so many things in this video that I still quote to this day. Whenever someone loses something I always feel the need to respond with "I'm so sorry, the Team 10 will help you find it" and nobody ever understands what I'm going on about.

I like how Drew getting kidnapped isn't even a major plot point

Guys, I don't think they're virgins... _They touched hands._

It’s been five years but I still can’t get over how the father of Drew’s baby was Jake Paul but Logan was trying to claim that it was him

i like how denny received a message saying he has to make a video admitting the pauls brothers are better to get drew back yet didnt seem to suspect logan of anything. nor did he question how drew got back without having to make the video

an underrated part of this is when drew gets kidnapped and jake paul tells danny “don’t worry. team 10 will find him” like they’re the fucking fbi

Is nobody going to talk about the fact that Laura is presumably still alive while all this is happening?

5 years later and i still think about "meanwhile in Coastal Rica"

I love how the captions say “squints at camera” like we are deaf AND blind 😂

i like how they breezed over drew getting pregnant and focused on the inaccuracy of how long pregnancy tests take

they are gregnant.

“Hope you’re all having a great 2019” I did, man I fucking did