A new dating partner started acting a little game-y, after a couple weeks of carefree, easy flirtation. This change came very suddenly, with zero warning. I considered letting it go or even blocking him preemptively to save my ego, but ended up calmly and respectfully asking him for clarification. I'm so glad I did because as it turns out, he was simply unconscious about the shift in his behavior, and is just as interested as I am in spending more time together.

Splendid. Mastering one's temper is for sure an art

Nice one Susan but I'm not sure you're response had him showing up later because he felt badly about his rudeness. I think it was more intrigue and self interest as to how the night would end up after you'd 'confessed' your original intentions. I think your brilliant response would have been even better if after telling him you'd wished him well and politely hung up without telling him where you were going.

I think a fair move would have been to give him a fake address to a ‘secret vip party’ miles away from city center and block his number.

I always make it on time for my date, and if I know I'm going to be late, I let her know via text or call. Either way my date would always be my number 1 priority, everything else doesn't matter. Some guys don't think things through and just rush things, which leads to them to making mistakes along the way because they don't have the patience to plan things out correctly.

When you do it to mentally spank the person, or to achieve the relationship with him - it's game. When you do it out of being genuine and of an urge to express yourself - it's just a healthy behavior - no matter his response.

You didn't correct any behavior. Just motivated him to meet you for sex. I doubt he felt bad for standing you up. My way is to not respond (or answer when they call).

Susan is such a player :D I love these stories

""Remember people have that behaviour they've played this game over and over again and they've seen every one of those stock responses. They can slip out of that in a conversation or something they say because they've practiced it over and over again. What you experienced from them is not unique." you're a witch, Susan. I wonder why I didn't see your videos before, those mainstream ones don't have that much insight. I do love your work. Thank you.

You are such a great storyteller! Could watch you for hours!

I 💖 it!! 👏🏾😆. I tried ithat approach once. They just said they were sorry & could we meet, but I just told them I had other plans now & hung 📞☎️ up. Won't get to try it again cuz I have taken myself out of the dating loop altogether. Still a great story.

So much energy spent on someone who disrespected you. You should have just blocked him and forgot about him. Blocking someone is a clear message. Self respect is self love. No energy on people who disrespect you.

Gave him more effort than he deserved. Why let him think you would want anything to do with him.

Love it. I had recently a bad history with a guy I met online. Because he brought sex subject in the conversation early on I was reluctant to meet him and postponed our date. I had another phone call and a relaxed conversation, but we didn t fixed another date. After 2 days he sent me an ugly message telling I had an ugly character. I wanted to call but he had already blocked my number. I sent him a message through the account of the dating site, wishing him all the best and thanking for revealing his true colors so quickly. I received another message from him telling me I am weird and I d better start looking for a stupid guy, a stupid like me. I replied that talking to him made me realized that a stupid guy is not a good match for me. That was all. I felt no joy and I want to learn more about handling bad behaviours in dating.

A brilliant kick-ass response. I chuckled imagining this guy's mouth agape on the other end of the line.

As a Sagittarius...I would have loved a response like yours Susan. It intrigues the hec outta me when a woman does the unexpected like that. And yes, it doesn't hurt when they lay down the rules of engagement.

You should write romance novels.

Good for you!!! Yes, we Brits of a certain age were raised to be ultra polite. As we mature, we tend to have a wider array of options and confidence.

Her response to him is soooo great haha I love this!! I only wish I had the courage 🤣🤭

Oh my gosh, so hilarious!! And, brilliant. I've been watching your videos for nearly a month, and love them. Lots to learn from you. Thank you!

Your response was pure genius!!!

I had a similar, but a bit different situation. Similar only in that I felt stood up or ghosted in a way and wondered how I would handle it if he ever contacted me again. We were platonic friends years ago and reconnected through Facebook and we still have some mutual acquaintances. We started talking A LOT on the phone, but hadn't seen each other yet as we live about 3 hours away from each other now. I let him do most of the contacting me and he was - most every day - for a good few months! We of course, talked about seeing each other in person at some point too. Again, nothing too heavy, but I was starting to develop some feelings, or at least thoughts that while I may have overlooked him in the past as a potential romantic interest, now I might reconsider that. When after 3 months of talking, he simply disappeared. I waited about a week and sent a text saying I hope all was well and if he simply decided he rather not continue reconnecting or changed his mind or whatever, that I wish he would've just been honest. He never wrote back! 🤔Ok.... so I didn't contact him again either. (I know better than to chase someone who clearly doesn't want to talk to me!) Well two months later, I got a text. He apologized for ghosting me, and said I had ssid something in one of our last conversations that "hurt his feelings" and he wrote that although he knew he should've talked to me about it, he wrote he was afraid he'd "say the wrong words". Whatever that means. Most likely he didn't want to get into an argument I guess. He also wrote that he missed talking with me 🙄 I took a couple days to think about it and I made my choice as to how to respond. One choice of course was to ignore him, but thats whst he had done to me when I reached out so I wasn't going to do that, meaning I wasn't going to be passive-aggressive like him with the silent treatment so I decided to write back two words. Those two words were: "Got it". -- Thats it. Just "Got it". I was simply acknowledging that I received his text. That was two weeks ago now and I've (again) not heard from him. Its so easy in texting to screw things up and misunderstand and be misunderstood, but one GREAT thing about texting is we CAN write back a simple two word thought like "Got it" which doesn't beg further explanation on my part. Its harder in an actual conversation to just say "Got it" without continuing to talk or e plain or get sucked into a debate. I figure if I'm important to him, he will contact me again and ask for a phone conversation. If I'm not that important to him and he doesn't contact me again, then he doesn't. 🤷‍♀️ I don't chase men (or really anyone in my personal life, and thats one of my main standards and mantras). Roughly two weeks since I sent that text and I still feel good about it. Showing respect for him at least by answering his text explanation for the original ghosting on his part, while also showing I'm not yelling at him or putting much effort into him anymore I think was smart - I'm trying to convey I'm not desperate and therefore I don't put up with games and BS. Now whether or not he takes it like that, who knows (??) But my dignity is intact.

Hi Susan I came across your videos last night and so glad I did! I'm at a crossroads. I'm 25 and my ex just turned 30. We were together for 3 years. He ended things abruptly but immediately regretted it. I found out I was pregnant but had a miscarriage at 8 weeks. He drank and I cried and grieved. We never got back together. He texted me 10 paragraphs of that it eats him up inside he wasn't there for me more. This was in August. I have not seen him since our first ultrasound. He would text me he and there but I was too angry still and grieving. Now I can't picture life with anyone else. Guys ask me out all the time but my heart isn't in it. My ex started flirting with me by text two weeks ago. He told me I'm one of a kind, that I'm beautiful in for so many reasons in so many ways... And things started getting sexual. But then he one night I said something pretty sexual and he didn't respond. So I confronted and asked what he thought. He answered with "I've never been good at this flirting thing lol. To be honest I didn't know what to say, not in a bad way just that we go from barley talking to this". "I guess what I'm just try to say is it's kinda fast...idk" so I said your right it was too much I promise to never text anything like that again have a nice night I'm going out bc I was. He said ok have fun I'm staying in playing video games. Since then Friday I've not texted him and he hasn't texted me. I'm not sure how to go about this. Every Time I mention moving on he freaks out and texts me more. I would like to maybe get food with him or a movie but I would like him to be chasing me. He can have self esteem issues too. Just last week he told me he's gained enough weight for the both of us bc I told him I've been exercising. Any advice appreciated!!

Guy strung me then rejected me. I set up a fake online dating out and bait him, we chatted for a while led him on then dropped the bomb on him. It was priceless.😂

But he still got to see you. He shouldnt get the right after. Its still rewarded. I love the idea... but Id want to hang up and make him always wish hed have not been a jerk. Lol

This is really well said. At the time, it's SO hard to know how to deal with bad behaviour, since you're meeting the person for the first (Or second) time and one doesn't have the track record to know if this is an aberration or the norm and thus we tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. Which could also then send the signal 'Oh, it's okay to act like this...' PS: Someone standing you up... Hard to imagine ;)

I still feel like you were trying to win over the guy with the hyper sexual response. The bigger thing to do is walk away.

Oh my goodness. I love this SOOOO much!! You made this part of dating fun...standing up for yourself in a unique way. Thank you! :)

Not sure if this response taught this guy anything but that was so funny to hear!

I love your videos and perfect timing as I need to do this as a response to bad behaviour. I'm British and living in the USA and my cultural mannerism are not helping my dating life. You are my new Shero. I definitely need to be more assertive and confident whilst dating in the USA. Thank you! your videos will help me to date in the states.

My girlfriend always tells me " it's not always about you" when I express myself. It seems its never about me. Bad behavior?

Why would you give him an opportunity to meet you again after he already displayed a red flag?

We're sitting across from each other he sees me on the app and likes me and we are at that time "a match". I tell my friend we she asked about him and I the total truth. Last night after he finally asked me for my number I asked him what he and my friend were and he says he isn't sure yet. He also went on to say he wasn't even sure if he wanted anything serious. My inclination is to drop the whole thing. What are your thoughts?

Wow. When i started watching your videos I really wasn't expecting to get real and useful advice as you give. Because youtubers have a promising title but that is all, no quality information to share . So I am surprised that you're catchy titles are in conformity with the information given. And I love your energy, your passion and knowledge of psychology of people. And I am naturally focused on what you say , it's like you are sharing a story with me personally. Very charismatic you are. I subscribed. Thank you so much

Perfect, divine timing!! I am laughing at how this was brought up on my videos. I will be thinking tonight of my perfect script and acting it out tomorw at work Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!!! U are not only wonderful but a character w/ a terrific outlook and a hilarious sense of humor. My ? is did you end up doing all the naughty things you imagined you would or were you still strong enough to resist even after a few drinks and he "showed up acting completely different"? Sending So much love to you~😘❤️💋

I'm pretty sure you are my hero....now if you could just help me go through with that second date....sending love, susan

She is a QUEEN

Thank you very much Susan. I always learn from you! 🐝

Can you make a video on what to do if he comes back after pulling away? Or if he pulls away do you give him x amount of time and then contact him? Or do you you just wait for him to come back? If/when he comes back do you just go back to how you were? I don't want to punish him because I understand his perspective, I really like this guy, it's VERY early days in the process of getting to a relationship, he's pulled away a few days after an intense whole day date (his request) where he introduced me to his brother and confided some big things to me. I'm not reacting to him pulling back, I know he's been through a lot in his last relationship and I want I'm to have his space and time, I also want him to be happy, I'm not the stressing out 'omg I don't want him to walk away' type of girl, I need my space too. I guess I just need reassurance that I'm doing the right thing!

That is FANTASTIC Susan...HILARIOUS and so unique & unexpected and ORIGINAL! WOW. Awesome SPIN. No crazy, neediness, lectures or weakness -- Just true power :-D!!

Wonderful and gorgeous as always Susan. I learn a lot from you. God bless you.

Yes! Thank you Susan!!! This was AWESOME!!! Your creative approach inspires me!!

You're brilliant and funny!

Oh wow I love this!!! This is so freaking brilliant!! Well done Susan!

I would be like - would have been fun to spend time with you but I ve made other plans with my friend

I told my ex I will take him out on his B-day tomorrow, I'll meet him at his place. He says ok honey🥰. Next day I texted him and to say happy B-day honey and see you before 5pm when I got to his place. He left to party with his friends without inviting me. He says go home honey and he didn't know I will come to see him cause he didn't check my message. I was so piss off😬I told him that I was stuck on traffic and hungry and can we get together. He keeps telling me to go home, will not see me tonight and he will make it up next day. I said honey I am sorry I will move on life and good bye! It hurt my feeling then I blocked his number. (3 months relationship.) I think if the guy loves you. He will do thing to make you happy.

Thank you for reminding me that I used to have game. I needed that. Fantastic and fun!

That was PHENOMENAL!!!!♥️👍🏽😘

Since it's MY MOVIE, why not be vindictive 😊

OMG, I LOVE THIS!! 😂😂 Susan, you are from now on my idol!💖💖

Awesome approach and great story Susan!

You explained how to handle a beginner of situations with a new twist!! BRAVO! #wordstoliveby💯

I love this story. Susan, you are amazing!

This was brilliant I laughed so hard 😂

I got stood up by a guy I met online. I wasn't that interested but it still bothered me because he'd seemed so decent. So I sent him a message telling him in a polite way that if he wasn't interested in meeting up he needn't have asked me out. It was impolite. He wrote back saying he was interested but so busy at work. Whatever. Never wrote back and I feel good about telling him off in a gracious way.

Take your feets in your hands and run as far away as possible. No contact. Narc 🚨 alarm ⏰

thats Casanova! haha

Thank you so much and so very true. I've been way to indirect out of fear of being rude and pushy. I will follow your directions and let you know how I get on. Thank you!

LOL I love that! To find something unique and fun at the same time!

Ha. Funny! I will use this approach in business as well.

That is absolutely brilliant!!!

Suberb! I have thought about responses others give and nothing has worked for me when it comes to that! Finding your own way is the best!

Oh nooooo ! Now I want to know if he showed up later!! 😂😂

This is SO MAJOR!!! Wowzers!! I am using this and will report back !! 😆💜

Love your story:) amazing inspiration

hahaha I Loved this video, you always learn alot from you,You should also do sketches I know they will be very hilarious and very educational.

Hahaha Susan you are brilliant!!!

I absolutely loved this! Amazing!! 😍👏🙌

Bad behaviour indeed someone folks are stuck in the past. I usually listen to apologies and let go. Some men are stubborn ..true talk about finding ur own method.

You're amazing Susan. Thank you!

How did i stumble across you Ms Susan Winter @0530 ?! Your advice is FABULOUS and spot onml

Thank you Susan

I need help: Cutting story short: guy from work gave me a ride told me "likes me" . Second time around in his car we kissed. But he seem like he didnt want to go further. I found out a bit later that he had kissedanother girl from work, but she now has a bf. Anyways I was furious because I felt played and disrespected. I being a phycho confronted him. Cutting to now we dont speak but he does speak to other girls at work except for me. I feel like I should move on but I really enjoyed his company and to see him flirting with other girls at work infuriates me. What do I do?

I love your storytime :)

Love it!!!!

Girl, you got moxie! I think you're fantastic, Susan. Thanks for doing you. ♥️

Yikes! I don’t see this as correcting the behavior. This sounds like sexual manipulation (??) esp. since men are so sexually motivated/charged. I’ll watch the video again to see if I missed something.

I'm so going to try this!

Your great Susan, love the videos x

He show up a bit different cause of a reward

brilliant!!!!

Funny u brought up the tight seating arrangements in NYC.I visited my daughter a few years back and we went out to a nice restaurant to eat,anyway the hostess plopped us down at a table with a family that was halfway thru their meal.no one batted an eye.kinda weird elbow to elbow with total strangers at their table.

Oh Susan you are awesome!💥✨

That’s refreshing and similar to a very different move I recently done, when the guy I’m dating started erotic banter. Instead of addressing it as ‘no it’s to early for this’ I played right into it with my own jokes.

Sure would be nice to have more american.women in the world like you. I listen to a lot of experts..lots of boilerplate nonsense. You are extraordinary. The difference is that little extra.

Hello Ms. Susan Winter! It's been awhile since I've visited your channel... I must say, I picked a really good video to come back to. I wanted to thank you again for all of your advice & help. You've helped me tremendously! In all sincerity, you must admit the guy does have good taste! He also deserved a Susan Slap- Down, LoL! Have yourself a wonderful Easter😎

lol that was brillant Susan ;)

Susan, you are a Queen 👑

Susan ! I adore you ! LOVE THIS.

This is incredible

So classy! I just know I'll have the chance to pull this one out with the sauciest prey ever... I know he'll be back... Ahahah!

Love it. Perfect!

Great video! Your book title should be "Getting off the game board" . Thank you!

I love this!

2019...in the house!❤ And this methodology was absolutely amazing. I have learn so much from you it's like reading a book of love just better because I can actually see and hear the language out loud and feel the honesty and vibes coming from you Ms Susan Winters. Your very profound and I love it. Great Life coach. God bless you. 🙏

I need your help please . I just found out my gf using a sugar baby and sugar daddy website . And I confronted her with that she got mad and she accused me of spying on her . Please tell me if right or wrong . And what should I do

good on u Susan!

Great vid

Lovely! I find you to be the best therapist for relations ever I have listened to/watched here on you tube I am trying to define a question for you, how do I proceed when I am clear with it? Where can I send it?

Wowwwwww!!! This is the most brilliant info I've ever gotten on this subject! Go Susan!!! 👍😂😍💜🎉😘😘