I had the inflammation, weight gain, depression, panic attacks, insomnia, joint pain, migraines, frequent colds/flu, you name it I had it all from a 20 year marriage to a narcissist.

WHEN THE WHOLE WORLD IS TOXIC - AND YOU'VE BEEN EXPOSED FROM BIRTH - no contact can feel very much like a "living death"....whew! And it took decades to put it together. 100%

It’s been 9 years of no-contact with my narcissistic family, and there’s not a day that goes by where I’m not thanking my lucky stars that I got away from them - especially around the holidays. I’m so happy that I don’t have to ever again deal with them. It’s quite healing - just those thoughts alone.

I grew up in a narcissistic family of four. I was the scapegoat. This abuse caused me to attract narcissists as friends and girlfriends. Then got abusive bosses in LAUSD. At age 49, all my muscles started rupturing. I slowly realized I was basically having a functioning nervous breakdown. I went no contact with family at age 54, then retired at age 55. Then moved out of state. Now, I’m so happy and healthy. Hopefully I don’t get a delayed health problem. I feel good, relaxed, and blessed. So I don’t think I’ll have more health problems. 🙏

Stress can be a killer, and narcissistic abuse is stress in a category all its own. 3 years out I had a heart attack. Thanks Kevin.

This is the first time i've been honest in a while. I have been abused and i'm so broken. I'm trying to be a good mum and by the grace of God he is an amazing boy. If anyone can pray for us, i appreciate x

Undeniable correlation, someone settling with a narcissist for years and burnt out with life itself.

If your child is bullied at the school, take him/her out! Do not try to make him/her copy the abuse. It will affect him/her.

My nervous system bottomed out and I lost my ability to sleep after settling down with a closet narc. Almost died a few months later. He: beloved by the community. All rallied around him. I'm 5 years out and I'm alive.

Kevin, my ex brother-in-law got diagnosed with dementia in his early 60's. He was married to my narcissistic sister for 20 yrs. The diagnosis of dementia wasn't diagnosed until several years after their divorce. Somewhere, and I cannot recall where, I read that some dementia's are or can be linked to years of narc abuse. Nothing surprises me when it comes to narcissism anymore. Devastating to say the least.

I watched my dad verbally abuse my mother for years. After their divorce when I was a teenager, he continued to badmouth her when they were no longer together. I had an older brother who was the golden child. I was the scapegoat. So I was abused and verbally taunted along with my mother. My brother, I guess, was “his” child. When my brother died in a motorcycle accident, I was 17. The abuse from my father became ten times worse. It was painful to admit, but he was angry that his favorite son had died, and I was all that remained for him. Fast forward to age 45, I was diagnosed with early stage 3 colorectal cancer. My narc dad was into his third marriage by then. The worst abuse had stopped, but he was totally apathetic towards me. His third wife was the only weak glue that held together a very phony relationship. I went along with every invitation from her, but I didn’t feel comfortable being there anymore. I had to make the trip each time to see them. In the full year of medical hell I went through, they only came to see me twice. I live an hour away. It was then I realized the abuse and neglect never really stopped. So I cut him off at age 48. I am now 54, cancer free, and have regained my health. I am very fortunate to have chosen healthy friendships since my school days. My old and new friends have supported me through my whole journey.

Thank you so much for talking about this..I could cry at how much I relate. The delay is what people don't understand they assume that you're okay but...the brain/body never forgets.

Yes that is true - Ptsd, teeth grinding, dry mouth which results in gum disease, breast tumors, severe anxiety which does havac on your adrenals - toxic relationships are extremely bad for your health - and if you eat poorly and do not get enough exercise and joy time - enjoying life and people then you may suffer severe health problems, oh yeah and digestive issues.

My Father mentally tortured me from the time i was three, until the day he died 35 years later. Now after 38 years with suffering at his hands, and my ex-wife for 30, I am sick, and may be facing cancer. People the public would never suspect can be malevolent monster from Hades, and no one would ever suspect. I helped my mother survive for 17 years after her husbands death, and it was only 5 years exactly before her death the extent of what he did to her. I always knew, but to hear it from her sister that my mother was a genius in college back in the late 1930s before he mentally went to work on her. Thanks Pal.

I developed ulcers, acid reflux, chronic low back pain, insulin resistance, hashimotos and CPTSD. Therapists over the years dropped the ball with invalidatation, minimization and gaslighting. If treated appropriately nearly 20 years ago this wouldnt have happened!

Makes sense to me... The day I walked away is when all the health issues started (hair loss, sensitivity to noise, shaking, muscle loss and severe hair loss). Felt like a curse, which in some ways were. Evil doesn’t like losing its grip, does it... Very good share! And yes, it’s all reversible, on the mend...

3 years after moving overseas, far away from my family of origin, I started experiencing debilitating fatigue, migrating nerve pain, brain fog, depression and digestive issues. It was the time when I felt the happiest and most content with my life. It's been 10 years and my heath is only getting worse. No root cause has been found. I once heard that a narcissistic mother/parent sees her child as an object she can use and the child's sole purpose is to serve her. She programs the child on a subconscious level to automatically self-destruct if/when the grown child decides to self-differentiate and stop serving her. It can be an illness, addiction, reoccurring, accident etc. That was a bone chilling to hear. It does feel like my illness is a punishment for abandoning her and having a better life, the life She always wanted. It's as if everything good I have in life is at her expense. It sounds crazy, but that's how I feel. I am carrying the narcissistic shame she dumped on me through all my childhood and overwhelming guilt for having a better life and for "abandoning" her. Perhaps resolving the shame and guilt could improve my physical health. My mother is a covert narcissist. A covert narcissist is like a skillful criminal who commits a crime and leaves no evidence. It took me a while to be able to see her for what she is and what she's done to me.

Yes indeed. Working to rewire my brain & body from inflammation, fibromyalgia, wacky blood pressure etc. On my journey 💜⚘😎

This happened to me. After the last incident my body physically broke down from anxiety. I had to see a doctor. My spirit knew the truth. The doctor called it an auto immune disorder

In my perspective healing hurts more

I ended up with staph infections, weird rashes, vertigo, insomnia, chronic pain, hypertension, diabetes, fibromyalgia. The good news is, once you start doing the inner healing work, the body starts to heal itself. I had anxiety and depression and PTSD as well. I've also healed those disorders. I haven't had a panic attack in 30 years. They started in my mid 20s. You CAN HEAL!!! I have done so. Diabetes is gone, fibromyalgia is gone, depression and PTSD are gone, chronic pain is gone. I've healed all of that. And I'm 56. I healed those diseases 5 years ago, so don't think you're too old. I have also changed my diet and started working out at the gym. I also had the intention to fully heal. It takes work, you have to stop blaming and take responsibility for your well being. All things in the subconscious must be brought to consciousness in the healing process. I used psychedelics to help bring up the issues that I wasn't facing. I don't recommend that, but it was part of my path to healing. If you have issues, that brings it right to the surface, all the fears, all the pain. It's very uncomfortable to cry and scream for 12 straight hours, but it's what I chose to aid in my healing. I'm just sharing my experience, I am not recommending that you do that. Most could not handle that kind of healing. It was brutal.

KZfaq has given narcissistic abuse a platform. For years narcissistic abuse has been suppressed by the medical community because there is no treatment or cure for narcissists. Narcissists also rise to the top of organizations like hospitals and medical societies and governments. Just being able to define the problem and acknowledge that it is a problem is helpful.

I developed adult onset asthma after getting out of a 20 year marriage with narcissist abuse. Everything you said in the video rings true for me!

This past week I noticed when I sat down and really freed my mind to relax my body would uncontrollably jerk multiple times as panic attacks kicked in. I was hit with major narc gas lighting for 36 hours during Thanksgiving. I didnt realize fight/flight mode was fully on 5 weeks after I left that house!! Thanks Kevin for the real description of the healing processc👍

I went no contact over 20 years ago. I no longer have any contact with my parents and siblings. My childhood was like a prison. I’m the scapegoat and we have it the worst plus I’m the oldest and EVERYTHING was dumped on me including being given huge responsibilities taking care of 6 younger siblings. I was an only child for 7 years and then my father came into the family after being in the service. My mother was then pregnant every 15 months. So 6 kids each kid is 15 mos apart. There’s even more to this but I don’t want to write a book here in comments section.

I grew up in an extremely abusive family and I have multiple sclerosis today. The permanent stress back then, day and night, led to this terrible autoimmune disease I'm sure. I hope doctors will look into this in the future. Thanks so much for bringing attention to this!

Yes exactly you need to surpress the pain while you are in a toxic relationship and environment because you need to survive while on the battle field - and then if you escape and are away from the abuse your body and mind and emotions are now able to allow the toxic stuff to come loudly to your consciousness both physically and mentally and emotionally - then there are the flashbacks that can happen years after even decades. Once in a safer place you need to establish a different reality that is much healthier but you are learning and exploring where and how to do that. Also you have trust issues and are not sure yet if what you are now attracting into your life is safe and nurturing for real.

Thank you! Me too, and I hadn't connected panic attacks and inflammation although I knew I was physically, emotionally, and spiritually beaten down. Love the "journeying" part. At 56, I am in peace, alone, and no contact with my mother and I am afraid of what is going to surface. Thank you for this, much appreciated.

The opposite happened to me. I developed an autoimmune disease while I was still living with my narcissistic mother. I was sick for years, and could never stay in remission for more than a few months. When I finally got away from her I was finally able to achieve remission for decades at a time. I know it was the constant stress and abuse I endured for the first 24 years of my life that led to this illness. I have been away from her for 18 years now, and I still have nightmares about that place.

The dysregulation of the nervous system is such a silent killer. I'm struggling with it hard and I believe when we grow up in a toxic environments our baseline of parasympathetic activation is what later drives these illnesses. No wonder it takes time to heal. Though re-parenting and inner child work is definitely at the forefront of healing.

Dealt with this after taking my mother in law in to live with this. My husband warned me how awful his mother was but we lives 3000 miles away. Took her and after 2 months the sense of entitlement and emotional manipulation even going so far not to take her insulin so that she would end up in the hospital. I got tired of it and had no choice to but to put her in a nursing home. I visit it her in the mornings and he visits her after work before dinner, she's still awful but she doesn't curse 24/7 or swing at us and if she refuses meds - Nurses have ir on record. I refuse to watch my loving devoted husband be treated like shit and no this isn't old age. She was a narrscist when he a younger always the black sheep and his sister the golden child pitted against each other while she eats the attention and chaos up. Does his sister hate us, she sure does... But hasn't lifted a hand to help or offered to take her. You owe NO ONE your happiness. Miserable people that want you miserable do NOT love or care about others - so let them find each other.

This is such an interesting topic. I think it’s kind of like when smokers don’t get sick until they quit. Our body protects us from from being absolutely devastated when we are involved in such toxic things so we don’t die. Our body responds when it feels safer

I got "eaten alive" for 3 decades. I now have AI disease. Don't do it folks - get out now and never look back - if I had been able to walk away and not feel guilt all the time I would not be in the mess I am in now. My narcs were family - adopted family. To anyone out there - GET OUT NOW and DO NOT LOOK BACK. Save yourself while you still can.

Yes this is why shortly after finally leaving, getting a UTI & fibroids, I changed my diet completely, got back i in the gym, began therapy & am working on healing. Anxiety & panic attacks I have had during my relationship for years including depression, however it is now a lifelong battle which I can get through long as I continue to heal

I was thinking about this the other day. It really seems like a condition in which you suffer from a deficit of love, care, consideration, a malnutrition of the psyche inflicted by their parasitic vampirism. And the cure is to restock on all of these things, providing oneself with patience, tenderness, health and encouragement. Just something that occurred to me!

I ended up with permanent tinnitus and significant hearing loss from a single blow to the head from my NPD spouse. I also became severely anemic after he infected me with H- Pylori. That was not intentional, but after I was diagnosed and treated, he reinfected me because he refused to get treatment for 2 years before he gave in- AFTER we split. He claimed he forgot. I still have severe sleep issues, anxiety, and depression.

I totally agree. My anxiety and arthritis (which is inflammation) came on suddenly, with not much warning. Nobody in my family has these, so I'm sure it's not genetic. These illnesses are a result of PTSD, I am convinced. PTSD because of all the abuse, a lifetime of abuse. But I'm tired of being a victim; I'm determined to either heal or to be able to handle my illnesses.

There's no words good enough to describe the horrible experience. It's the separation from the abusive circle that will put you back into your normal condition. When the risks of loosing health in a relationship is too much, definitely, it's not worth having. Thank you so much for the insightful explanation and the wonderful video, Kevin. Blessings to you 🙏🏻🎉

I've always felt grateful for nightmares because that means I'm safe enough for my brain to let go of some of the underlying trauma.

This explains so much....thank you! My ex was a narcissist but his supposedly grown 40+ years old daughter was a narcissistic beast. I stopped having any contact with her the last 2 years of my marriage but she was still able to get to me through her father, my ex. I had horrible headaches constantly every night for those 2 years. The day I finally told him I was out and agreed to a divorce and he left the house my nightly headaches stopped that night. My ex was the one who suggested the divorce but thought he was manipulating to me thinking I couldn't live without him. He never believed I had gotten a lawyer until the day he was finally served. We have been divorced for 9 years with no communication and I'm still traumatized and have no interest in a new relationship. They day the day I received my money from the divorce I moved to another state. I hope one day I'll meet the right man allowing me to trust again.

Yep, I have all those illnesses. I was raised by several narcissists from birth. I am still alive!!!!!!!!! But, I have clinical depression, anxiety, fibromyalgia, restless legs syndrome, ears that need regular professional medication-draining, rheumatoid arthritis, Asperger's syndrome, social anxiety, very severe chronic IBS which means I need to be on tablets for all these things all the time. 😶

I was my mothers scapegoat. Went zero contact 2 years ago and have been thriving. Fibro diagnosed, but healing my life!

When I realized my back spasms were connected to interactions with my mom, my life changed for the better. I was the scapegoat in the family. Now I’m no contact and my spasms are pretty much gone.

I developed a flutter in my heart from my narc brother n his wife. The cardiologist says twice to me you have a strong heart. What stress is in your life? I knew when it happened that they were responsible. But I allowed that stress to develop because I cared n expected adult behavior from them. I will own that. My ignorance and foolishness for believing.

After narcissistic abuse from both parents, my brother and three romantic partners in a row, I thought I was the one with a personality disorder. After all, I was the one having all the symptoms, and everyone else can’t be the problem, so I must be the problem. And I did feel insane. I’m 48 years old and I have never been loved in return by another person. There is nothing wrong with me and there never was. Humans are not meant to live this way

I am recently divorced from someone whose text book narcissist's. I have avoided her since after the divorce. However, oddly enough my body is going through some of the most difficult symptoms I've experienced. I rarely go to the ER but been twice. Im still going through this cycle of experiencing chronic symptoms (fortunately no severe pain) but none of this manifested during the most stressful point in my marriage or divorce...but suddenly is now.

I'm literally watching my mom kill my dad right now. When I told him it's abuse and to leave he said that you can only be beat down so much until you stop getting back up. Which enrages me because he was severely abused as a child and she ALWAYS brings up triggers!! Now I'M the enemy because I defend him and she resents us having any relationship at all!! So I'm not talking to either of them now. I'm isolating until I can remove myself. Already have tests indicating autoimmune diseases in which she already has several. I've BEEN saying she manifests all the stuff wrong with her! NOT TODAY SATAN!!

After the divorce from a 31 year marriage, I was diagnosed with stage 4 Metastatic Breast Cancer! I was diagnosed with heart arrhythmia, sleep apnea,GERD, and multiple other problems during that relationship!

For me, I think that part of this delay is also because I’m getting older. I’ve seen a number of comments, where people found that they’d long been in a narcissistic relationship and they were somewhere in their 50s and 60s. That is a time, when much of life’s damage starts to show up, even if you haven’t been in a narcissistic relationship. At minimum, unless you’re a narcissist yourself, you’ve still probably experienced some type of narcissistic abuse, merely because you’ve had to work for a living. Another thing that would probably contribute to making you ill, is knowing that some narc wasted a good number of your years. As many times as people have said that you need to move on and that is true, the reality is that, when someone steals enough of your life, it is a murder of sorts. They’ve also gotten away with it, through your unwitting compliance. If that doesn’t make you sick, I don’t know what does. Another thing that made my head swim? After figuring out that my mother was a narcissist and that I was actually being abused, all of the outside enablers, tried to normalize the abuse, because it was my mother. Not only did their normalization invalidate what I was going through, but I was being coerced into remaining in contact with her. So, for me, it wasn’t just that I had a very sick mother (and sister), but almost everyone on the outside was trying to show me how wrong I was, not because they didn’t believe what was happening. But because what was happening was OK, because she was my mother. Those are also sick people and they more than pepper the world. Lastly, now that mom is gone, I’m getting to know my sick little sister better, through probate. When you’re nearing the end of your life, where there’s less time for recovery, and you start being in a probate war, with a sibling who feels that, for just 4 years of even getting to know her own mother, she should control and inherit everything and you also find that the court is weak, yeah illness.

It's so good to see so many of you people got away from the vile, evil that is the narcissist! Be thankful and grateful if you have family or friends that will help you with getting away from the abuser, because there are people (like me) that have nobody, no family, no friends, no car, no money, no way to escape the daily torture, daily darkness, and will die, alone, a slow painful death. I'm 59 years old, and live with and take care of my elderly severely narcissistic mother, for almost 15 years now......after so many years of begging and pleading for help, to no avail, a person gets worn down and is resigned to their fate. Being a highly sensitive empath is such a curse when it comes to narcissists because we always want to help and serve others. I'd love to write a book, the title would be "Death Of A Dutiful Daughter ". If you've seen the movie "Color Purple ", I'm Miss Celie and my mother is "Mister"! Just can't wrap my head around the fact that there are mothers that take joy in seeing and causing their child's pain and misery....... I never would have moved in with her if I'd known she was an evil, heartless monster!

Thank you Kevin. I now realize about the delayed onset of various illnesses due to prolonged narcissistic abuse and scapegoating. After falling down another rabbit hole while being traumatized on all sides through siblings and a romantic interest I found myself discovering the toxic world of narcissism. How I missed the elephant in the room all these years beats me. I now have inflammation, auto immune disorders, arthritis and ongoing trauma bonding from an older narc sibling, and the younger siblings who are the enablers and quite narcissistic too. There are troupes of flying monkeys the prime narc can count on to create more havoc and stymie my moves. However, I believe that there is a time coming up that will reveal these toxic individuals in their true light, and I hope that day is near at hand. It definitely helps to get more education through channels such as yours. Thanks again.

I believe this because before I started having a relationship with the ex narcissist I was a very healthy woman. After seeing him for about 5 yrs I started having health issues & they grew into bigger health issues. After 13 yrs of his abuse, I finally got out of it. Now I am on Disability!! Even the Dr’s @ UNC Chapel Hill said my health issues were coming from the continued stress & abuse for over 13 yrs. So I have proof from my Dr’s that what Kevin is saying in this video is the absolute truth!

Yes I grew up in a toxic family household.. was unaware I was attracted to toxic narcissistic people. Took me to the age 50 years old to realize and understand exactly what I had been dealing with my whole entire life that I prayed for courage to run and not look back . Went through major depression and heartache and then finally slowly I started feeling self worth again to get diagnosed with a massive tumor the size of a grapefruit next to my sciatic nerve I’m thankful to the Most High that it was benign. I realize all my stress of enduring narcissistic abuse had to go somewhere in my body. I thank the Lord God for delivery me and letting me know who I am and who I belong to.. HALLELUJAH I’m a child of the Most High and I thank God I’m free Amen 🙏🏾❤️🙏🏾

I'm 62 years old and was in a toxic narcissistic relationship for 19 years. And completely unaware of narcissistic behavior. I shared this knowledge with my best friend who just celebrated her 61st birthday on December 23rd 2022. We've known each other since we were thirteen and fourteen years old. She was my best friend. Her mother and sister are narcissistic monsters. And she had battled against their narcissistic behavior all of her life. I sent her some videos about toxic parents and siblings. She did to check list and they met the criteria. Unfortunately I was already aware of what they were now that I know what a narcissist is. I myself at the end of the relationship suffered a terrible what they call freeze. I was emotionally Frozen. The stomach issues had been with me. Forever to the point that it's just normal part of my life. I now have fibromyalgia and osteoporosis . I was very concerned for my friend as I myself had experienced suicidal thoughts. She lives out-of-state so we don't see each other in person . But are as close as any two people can be. And she absorbed the fact that she had been a victim of narcissistic abuse by her mother all her life, we talked about this. I was very worried about her mental and emotional state. One day she felt that she was having a heart attack went to the emergency room they went through the routine she was not having a heart attack , and they sent her home but called her back the next day telling her it was urgent that she come in because they had found something in her. This happened all so fast that she didn't even tell me what was going on. She played that everything was fine and that she was getting better. Since I do not have contact with her mother or sister. I do know them very well . We last talked 2 days after Christmas. She had had a birthday party on her birthday the 23rd of December. I planned on calling her this last Saturday. I live in Texas she lived in Oregon . Two hour time difference. It was too early that morning. To call Oregon she would be still sleeping at that time. So I opened my Facebook to search the marketplace. Then a notice popped up saying she had made a post on her Facebook, I opened it up to see what she had posted. It was friends she has all sending their condolences to her mother and sister or their loss. I was confused and panic. This must be a mistake! Through her Facebook I went to her mother's and sister's Facebook and found the same sort of condolences on their Facebook. There's no doubt I instantly was in shock I am still in shock. I called my own sister crying and panicking I wanted her to call my friends sister or contact her to Facebook and find out what's going on. My sister called me back. And said that my friend's sister said that she died from cancer was on hospice and died in her home with her daughter by her side. I understand that her family was under duress. But not one of the three contacted me to let me know that Denise has passed away. I know in my heart how much she was hurting when she learned that they were narcissist. And that is what literally what killed her. Everybody had turned on here years ago. And like you said because she was struggling to survive was unaware that a serious illness was lurking. While all of this was going. The IRS wanted $20,000 in taxes on their inheritance she received when her father died. His wife was responsible for paying those taxes. And it went unpaid unknown to her 4 years . She bought a home with some of that money. Then later had to replace the roof and that was another was another 20,000 her mother helped her with this. But was now wanting her to pay in full. IRS was threatening to take her home. Meanwhile her mother add made her will out. And had left nothing to her. All of it is going to her sister.+ 100,000 to her daughter. She was devastated and confused and could not understand she was here struggling financially. And her mother is cutting her out of the will leaving it all to her younger sister. And of course. Bypassing her again knowing the financial struggle she was facing. She even considered coming to Texas. She was up against All odds. And her body is completely turned against her and now in a blink of an eye she is gone forever. I know in my heart and all of the confusion an inability to know what was going on . She asked me for answers that I don't have. All I could tell her was that I do know her mom and sister and I would call them narcissist which they are. And with the acknowledgment of this information. I'm sure she was suffering the freeze . So I was trying to keep contact to make sure she didn't become suicidal. Of course I'm sick and but she was the one friend of a lifetime . I will never feel that way about anyone as long as I live. I left my phone number on her mother's Facebook acknowledging who I was. Needless to say no one in her family has contacted me. But my dog has been barking . At something that I can't see. So I talked to her as if she was there I let her know that I forgive her for not telling. And just how precious she is and always will be to me. Rest in peace my beloved Denise. And I hope God see that all the narcissist. In the world will eventually suffer the same fate. That they so freely dish out to the universe. I don't even know the exact date or the hour that she. But my dog was barking at something before I learn this so I'm going to consider that the moment that she passed she knew that this was going to devastate. And I know that she was here and that she may returned again. I did tell her when she learned the facts about narcissist. That to forgive and move on and simply have no more contact with them. Is truly the only way to heal and get over a lifetime of abuse. She just didn't have the physical strength to endure. And I'd like to point out she was a very goal-oriented person . Never sitting and stagnating. Conscious of Good health diet and exercise. And had been a nonsmoker. And she died of cancer? It's all just so wrong.

Kevin this is why I have to leave the city and state I'm in. I'm leaving soon because I've made up my mind I cannot deal with living in a city and state with literally nothing but narcs.

This is exactly what happened to me. Thank you for making this known that way people can reverse what they are diagnosed with. I tried bringing this up to my doctor and she brushed it off and wanted to proceed with ms drugs but I said no and I'll try talk therapy, diet, and exercise. It worked.

This is what I'm going through. I had to isolate from narcissists and now I do what I can not to take a grain of people's shit. But I am very ill now and i feel it's all the rage of letting myself be put down.

I was married to a narcissist for 5 years. So glad I got out.

Chemicals misinformation and blaitent lie's are what's making people sick mentally and physically, not to mention killing people all for greed and the love of money.

I'm 60 yrs old with an undiagnosed illness because doctors won't take the time to delve deep into the issues. I have chronic fatigue syndrome and autoimmune disease. My husband is a covert narcissist. Since I left my job, he's gotten so emotionally abusive, I live in my bedroom or my sitting room when he's not working. My mother was the controlling narcissist in our family (covert) and my father was on the autism spectrum. They were terrible parents. I can't imagine why they ever thought having 6 children was a good idea! All of us are damaged. I worked at several companies that were 75% full of these narcissistic people. They are EVERYWHERE and sometimes I think they outnumber those of us who just want to live quiet, peaceful lives. I can't leave my husband at this point. I'd be homeless in no time. And if illness may show up in a few years time, I'll be in an even worse situation. I can only hope for a quick death when it comes. (No, I'm not suicidal. I've just given up on getting any help at this point in my life.) Peace and joy to those of you young enough to make the break. Don't wait or make excuses. LEAVE TODAY so you can actually have a good life. 🌄

Epigenetics. Also, I know now that this disorder is not just individual anymore, but clearly societal and global.

Thank you so much, Kevin, for the work your doing! This is the answer to my prayer just a few minutes ago!! My husband left on Oct.31, 22. My 14yr old had two panic attacks after that, both during worship in church, and now I see what it is. My 16yr old was struggling with depression and anxiety before already and is now going through physical illness. I'm am in the healing process from decades of abuse and am doing my best to help my children. Sadly there is no professional help available in my area, and my church doesn't understand abuse,making it so much harder to get out and heal. Please pray for my children and I! God bless you all!🙌🏼

This is crazy and spot on. I was in a super toxic relationship with a woman for a year and a half. Once she cheated and I knew it was over I started having panic attacks and, could not sleep, drinking too much, etc.... I had no idea why I would shake as though I had Parkinson's if I left my home. I did not even know what a panic attack was. I had to spend the summer over a 1000 miles away and did a lot of work on myself during that time. I have a new job and I am trying to make new friends but its hard. I am still trying to heal and feel incredibly unlovable and undesirable at times. I hope to find someone new one day who can make me feel worthy again.

Lord have Mercy! Please we need super natural healing ❤️‍🩹

Thank you for this. I got out of a narcissistic relationship with an in law three years ago. I just recently got to a place of rest, and confidence when all of the sudden I started having bad anxiety over nothing! I have learned that I need to embrace the feelings so I can work through them.

I was in a relationship where I was love bombed in the beginning and then it gradually changed to insults disguised as teasing. I was told I was stupid, not interesting, dramatic, and then brought others in around us and showed them concern. I had an eating disorder and everything that comes from that as malnutrition, hair loss, everything. I started having severe panic attacks, and severe nightmares, and fear he was going to abandon me because he would block and unblock me, then asking if I learned my lessons yet to stay unblocked. When I finally stood up for myself he ghosted me and went on vacation with another woman two days before our anniversary. Two years later, I'm developing more mental health and physical health issues. I'm still stunned on what all has happened. Thank you for sharing because I struggle thinking I'm going crazy. Therapy is taking me back into my childhood with a very toxic family, and mentally abusive siblings

Grew up w/ 3 narcissists. After my narcissistic dad died for whom, I was the primary caregiver-I completely fell apart (at 65 years old!!) ended up suffering a severe breakdown that included the dissolution of my marriage. My belief is that my breakdown was the culmination of years of abuse- rocks in a jar and then the jar breaks--I was out of commission for a year and a half--and am still recovering--years later. Talk about trauma bonding!! Funny thing breakdown occurred just as my life was "perfect"-

I left a very abusive relationship 15 years ago and was diagnosed with an autoimmune immune disease almost 4 years after leaving…we were together 14 years and I’ve never fully recovered from getting beat up an emotionally abused for so long!

I can relate. I graduated from a very toxic engineering program in a third world country where I was constantly scapegoated. All professors were bullying me and giving me the worst treatment and grades. I was constantly threatened of being kicked out and humiliated in front of the class. I had to survive all of this for a four years and graduate. Then, I went to study for PhD in Europe and later became an assistant professor in a very prestigious Swedish university. I found the love of my life at that time and thought that my life is going to be always happy ever after. But I started having these panic attacks and scary nightmares and begun developing serious digestive and nervous symptoms. This destroyed my relationship with my ex and so I moved to the US so I can change the environment. Still, it took me around 4 years to almost completely heal from all nervous and digestive symptoms, and start having a normal life again. Long story short: I am never ever going to stay again in a toxic environment no matter what happens and what the stakes are.

I wished I had known this. For years I was sick and broken from childhood abuse. I don’t know if I will ever recover. But I am now safe, happy and content.

I got EBV and Coxsackie B infection when I was 22 which stayed in my system and reactivates every time I go through stress or get a cold. That manifested into ME/CFS coupled with Fibromyalgia. She stuffed my life up solidly and apparently at 88 is not done yet. I got panic attacks, anxiety disorder, depression, PTSD, Avoidance Personality Disorder, she did an excellent job. Last year I was diagnosed with chronic inflammation of the stomach and intestinal linings.

I know this well. Just want to mention, i listened to another video of yours, The Royal We, about mistaking any seeming kindness from a family or parent of this character as love. And trying to help them when things set off. I think empaths will recognise this. You hang on to hope. Trouble is, when others turn up very similar in nature to them, you get caught out again in trying to help, understand - like you did your family or parent - support, without realising it's the worst thing to do, as they will destroy you, esp if new people have similar nice behaviour as the n. Having thought the good things you received from that parent, family, or partner and holding onto that. The truth that they are destroying you, esp behind your back, is put to one side, because you try to understand their initial suffering/damage, or you don't realise the extent of evil they are causing you. Realising that these people's behaviour doesn't care how much you suffer at their hands of their actions iss an important step. It's hard to hear, but it is true. And without accepting the truth and moving forward from it, leaves us susceptible to entertaining these same types as them. I think that's key. Empaths need to care, but save their caring for those who deserve it, and who can be trusted. It's no wonder many people are stuck, and prefer to stay away from people as much as they can, often preferring animals as company. Not all can enjoy their own company as others, but i think those that do are often the one's that will put a wall up to remain as safe as possible, because of the susseptability to be conned.

I developed Bell's Palsey from the constant stress. I knew it was true because everytime saw him afterward I would have the same pain as I did with Bell's. Also, his ex-wife of 25 yrs developed congestive heart failure after 10 yrs with him and never realized he was a narcissist and that he created her heart issue too. She is dying and he left her.

Once again, bang on Kevin! Took me ages to figure this out.,I could not understand why I was getting so ill when I finally had some peace and quiet. It’s the first time I’ve been ‘Safe to be Ill’ ..up until now I’ve been literally on the run and fighting for survival. I really struggle with the feeling I’m being punished and absolute panic about how I will survive in the future. But I should be celebrating every day I got out alive.. but survive isn’t enough. So much is needed to just live a basic financially independent life & that is impossible while very ill. I try to see my illness as my Guide and Protector, it’s stopping me from rushing into action. It’s forcing my body to rest. It’s creating a boundary with all the new narcissists that come in and fake-befriend me. So I’m much less available to them, than I would be without the illness. Still, the financial fear, fear of not being able to have enough money to protect myself in the future, to be able to walk away from people ir situations if I need to, to be able to choose who I work with..really makes it hard for me to take the time I need to heal. Kevin, I would love if you’d do a video on that area? Time and space needed to heal. I have it now, but I’m terrified of the future. When will I be able to work again. And then will work just put me under the thumb of more narcissistic abusers as it has before..

this is so true. people retire, relax, feel safe and die of a heart attack or stroke...the dam of repression bursts and they don't know Jesus

When I was 26 I was diagnosed with Crohn’s disease. Terrible first marriage to older man which I ended at 25, alcoholic father committed suicide when I was 22, no emotional support from mother, 2 damaged younger brothers who were molested by a neighbor, an older sister accusing me of wanting attention. I suffered until 46 when I had surgery. I have 2 healthy adult children-they say they didn’t know I was sick. That’s because I put them first. My husband of 39 years was there, he still is. I’m 71 now. Looking back makes me very frustrated, sad, and angry. Making the best of it now with 3 grand children. Many have it much worse, happy that I was mentally strong enough to endure the bs. I recently dumped 3 other women I was involved with on a Board who tried to undermine me and gossip, also ignoring elitist sister & last living brother, who has had a terrible life. Blessings to all you beautiful Souls. Take care of yourselves. 🙏🏼❤️🕊

Thank you for telling me all this. I grew up in a toxic home, both in my fathers home and my moms home, then I have had some toxic "Love" relationship. Now, more than ten years single, I still feel sick and broken.

Almost died of an ulcer four months after our breakup. I've never been sick before, I had to have major surgery. It's been 7 months since my surgery and I'm finally starting to forgive myself for everything I put myself through. Any mistakes I made, I paid dearly for.

Kevin, more outstanding content! Thank you for helping get the word out that our physiological responses to these sick environments and people are legitimate illnesses. We are not “weak,” “crazy,” etc. I’m dealing with delayed onset adrenal fatigue and chronic inflammation that’s being complicated by long COVID. You’re 100% correct; it is possible to recover your peace and health. It’s a long, difficult process, but well worth it. Thank you, again, and God bless!

God bless you Sir.. woooo that’s insane.. I’m constant on my Bible reading and praying, God is answering my prayers.. now I have more close relationship with my Lord Jesus Christ.. seriously without Jesus we are totally in hell, thank you Lord for your unconditional love and care..🙏❤️

Once you get to a place of peace and you realize you are in a good place it hits you that this time will end . You start to fear that this isn't real, something bad is going to happen.

10 years out of a 30-year narcissistic abusive marriage. That soldier example is the one my counselor gave me. He also added this….he described the aftermath of abuse with a soldier who has shrapnel in his body which could not be safely surgically removed. For the rest of that soldiers life the shrapnel remains, possibly not hurting…until it slips onto a nerve and then causes excruciating pain until it moves again. He said that because of the length of the relationship and it was with one I had trusted my life to, I may experience problems the rest of my life. He also said he is amazed I am doing so well. If not for my faith in the Lord Jesus …… You said it, every time I go to a doctor of any sort I have I am reminded these conditions were put on me by another. I will one day be healed, but he will suffer through eternity when he is judged, unless he can see what he is and repent. I believe that capability is not in him.

Wow!!!! This explains it all!!! I have all these symptoms and just got away from a narcissistic mother.

I got away from my toxic family, then was diagnosed with an illness and being told my best chance of a cure is a transplant from a member of that same toxic family. I'm still battling my illness, in and out of several cancer hospitals. Hard to say which is worse. Both suck.

6 months after being discarded I was diagnosed with a chronic type leukemia . It’s now 4 years and recovered

My maternal grandma, my mom and my step dad. They all did and said the same things. They used every NPD manipulation in the cycle, on repeat, for all times. It was brutal! Fibromyalgia, IBS, Hashimotos, Behavioral Breathing Disorder.

This is what I'm going through, I was suppressing the illness and damage done when I was a kid, it took about 13 years for it to spill out.

I’m working with a medical doctor specialised in psychosomatics. From her perspective a panic attack is caused by a situation that the emotional brain (erroneously) categorises as “threatening ”. In other words it is a “protective” reaction. The reason you developed panic attacks AFTER leaving your parents is probably that the nervous system was still hyper-vigilant due to the previous years of abuse. However while in the house-hold of your parents, your nervous system knew “who the danger was”. AFTER leaving the household the nervous system started looking “elsewhere” for the enemy to keep you safe. Interestingly persons with aggressive, unpredictable parents or siblings may develop animal phobias (snakes, wasps, spiders, cockroaches, dogs, …). It’s the nervous system’s way of moving the perceived threat somewhere else (projection). By keeping away from the snake you can feel “safe”. The film you saw in the cinema was spider-man. A coincidence? What characteristics do spiders have for you? Make a list and ask yourself if you know any persons in your life with similar traits…

Look at the adverse childhood experiences (ACEs) research study. Shows that children who grow up in abusive households, including narcissistic abuse, go on to have more physical and mental health problems as adults. Doctors even screen for ACEs now in routine visits. This is important stuff.

So that's my problem

I agreed 💯 my body somitized all that bad energy soon or later

This validates my theory about my experience with MS. I have been dealing with a mild case of MS but over the years I have noticed a pattern: When under periods of deep stress the symptoms are stable. However, after the stress is over, I relapse. I experience a debilitating period of fatigue for weeks. Often it would cause worsening symptoms. Now, after continuing the extrication form a 39 year toxic marriage, my MS symptoms have not worsened. In fact, as a sufferer of a lung disease (MAC), lymphedema, and anxiety my blood levels are much improved, my oxygen saturation level has risen from 97 to 100. I am feeling so much better and looking forward to the day I am FREE.

It is very hard to deal with these people and have happy relationship. Their self centered behavior is destructive and manipulative.

Thank you for addressing this. Five years after I was out, I experienced Takotsubo cardiopathy (broken heart syndrome). I had no clogged arteries yet now live w/a history of triple bypass, a defibrillator, years of physical and emotional therapies, and coding three times. This is more common in post-menopausal women than you can imagine. Get out!❣️

I had this experience. This is real! Get out now.

I just went no contact 6 months ago from my ex of 20yrs. I knew what I had to do and have experienced lots of ailments, but I will survive and thrive!

I had suffered from PTSD from my ex narc, and had a lot of panic attacks when I was with him, sweaty hands and feet, always doubting myself, walking on the eggshells everyday of my life, I was angry and sad, and very confused. My identity was always attacked and put down and boundaries was never recognized. I was dying and living like a Zombie! Until 2cops came to the house because somebody cared enough for my life and called 911 and I was removed from the hellish situation, if not I could only be in two places: 6 feet under or lock up in a nut house! I’m grateful for the person who cared for my life and set me free. I could not do it for myself because I so believed that that was a normal life to live. God moves in a mysterious ways and He is a life giver- a clean and wonderful healthy life that I was abled to recover! Look to God and live. You have a choice. Thanks to this man who shared his experience and knowledge about narcissistic abuse and the aftermath. Listen to him

OMG… 😡. This is soooooo friggn’ unfair that I now realize my pain, high blood pressure, heart surgery, gall bladder removal, digestive trauma, weird skin disorders, allergic now to all antibiotics…. My list can go longer but, I’m afraid I’m unhealable now… Could be too late for me… I’ve suffered for way too long… I’m ready to end the suffering now…

I had a stroke and cancer simultaneously. I apparently was in a coma for 2 weeks but I lost 3 months of my life. I had no family history nor was I in any kind of environment that would have led to this. I realize it was a number of issues from my childhood till this occurred 4 years ago. All due to me not facing all the events of my life.

I struggle as I can't move on. My narcissistic mother has her claws in my adult daughter. I have been stuck like this for 10 years. I can never sleep or rest