I think the person being discarded is the one who gets the real final discard, by never letting the narcissist back in. It’s really up to you, to recognize what you’re dealing with and be done for good.

Once you recognize a narc, you can’t unsee it

The narcissist didn’t discard me, I discarded him. I blocked everything associated with him. He tried to call me two years ago and that’s when I added his number to my blocked numbers. Once I cut off everything and everyone associated with him my emotional attachment faded away. Now I feel absolutely nothing for him, it’s a great feeling

Narcissists pretent to love you, until they don't need you anymore.

The silent treatment is temporary discard. They always come back only to discard you again.

The discard is when you attain indifference

The final discard happens after you finally pull your head out of your ass and realize, like Dorothy in The Wizard of Oz, that the wizard is a fraud, and has nothing for her.

The victim of a narcissist has the power over the final discard, they just don't always know it. We must educate ourselves.

YOU'LL know when the final discard is, when you decide to get off and stay off the rollercoaster ride and go no contact and stay completely away from them.

You decide when it’s the final the discard. They will come back forever if you let them.

A narcissistic relationship is like a form of "Stockholm syndrome."

The final is always up to the survivor. They always come back. Always.

Being with my ex narc for the past 8 yrs. made me observe this very pattern. I think they wanted to feel very important in a way that is disturbing. Instead of building trust with their intimate partners, they destroy the trust that they built with you (in that case lying when they tried to put you in their pedestal). Once they have a committed partner, they can’t stand being loved authentically by one person. Instead they go on and prey on other women that is susceptible to their love bombing. My ex narc was a compulsive pursuer in a relationship. He would go back and forth to the women he were involved before or try to meet women in complicated situation so that going public isn’t an option while having you as their main supply. In the end they destroy the very person that loved them. They are like toddlers testing your love for them. Showing and telling them you love them isn’t enough, they will cheat on your face to make you feel inadequate even if you are more than they deserve. They want to test your love for them so they keep hurting you and when you have enough of their abuse, you leave. Then they tell you, ‘you never loved me because you abandon me’. Well in fact it’s their actions and narcissistic behavior that made you leave or in other cases they discard you and will give silly reasons of the discard. Mine would use, ‘she’s crazy’, ‘she’s a nega-star’, ‘she insults me’, ‘she cheated on me’ et al. So with this pattern of infidelities and emotional abuse (who knows what else) it’s better to walk away. I did walk away and is now rebuilding my life with our daughter. We are struggling financially because I’m not earning enough to provide for my daughter but now we get to laugh and bring with us sunshine every day. No lies, no abuse and no fake love. We only live once, forgive yourself and move forward but never forget the lesson that narc abuse taught you. That is to respect yourself to walk away from what’s hurting and destroying you. That you deserve a life of solitude, happiness and love. Hugs*** :) Additionally I got to know about my narc husband bad ways when I reach out to a private detective digitalinvestigate@gmail.com for help he did a perfect work for me I can see everything he’s doing on his device.

She has no idea how much her videos have helped us and saved us in many ways

I knew it was the final discard when I said, "I'm done." Period. No more allowing them back in.

They find a new supply, be thankful, not sad and regretful. They will treat the new supply as bad if not worse than they did you.

Expect nothing but be prepared for everything.

Dr Ramani saved my life. Thank you

I think you have to be the one to end it. They’ll keep using and abusing you as long as you allow it.

The biggest part of getting rid of a narc is to not let them know you know who they are. Its ok if they think you are stupid. People don't need to know how much you know.

It's when you end it. Until I figured this out I thought it was in their hands. It ends when you end it. When you don't give them the reaction they're waiting for.

Narcs are addictions. If you had booze issues, for instance, you are forbidden to have even a slip of alcohol for the rest of your life, because that would transport you back to ground zero. The same with narcs: just one "tiny bit" of contact, a message that you respond to, a short phone conversation, an e-mail exchange transports you back to ground zero as regards to healing. At least that's the way I look at it. Total, non-negotiable, unbreakable no contact for a lifetime. That's the only thing that really works.

Its a difficult process when Sadly the NARC is someone you loved ,invested in..only to realize no matter how much WE change ourselves; they resist seeing their Pride,Ego, over criticism, being trivial, manipulative tatics, Gaslighting,constant verbal criticism and verbal attacks of emotional blackmail ;playing the victim constantly..its SOO much to digest and process. The NARC refuses to take responsibility, its ALWAYS everyone else and the NARC has a twisted view of themselves acting like they are the victim, and the NARC literally believes their a saint or angel.

The final discard was my filing for divorce and getting out of the toxic home. I warned her for years. She didn't change, she got worse. She didn't believe me, she refused to listen to my concerns. Now her world is falling apart and I am free and HAPPY. I just love going to my apartment after work every day. The peace. She can't blame her life on me any more. I forgot what peace was. It's heavenly!

*If you feel you have to ‘walk on eggshells’ to be safe or if you dread the approach of the individual turn around and leave and keep going. They never get better. They only get worse. For you of dating age, check your prospects out, do a search on them. Don’t fall for their bamboozle. Anybody who tries to conceal who they really are is hiding something and it is likely so bad that you do not want to know about it, or them. ❤ to the decent. ☺️

I can remember how shocked and offended the narcissist was when I reacted with cold indifference when they wanted to cut me off. Only one tried to reconnect with me through a third party. Most left as if nothing happened. It hurt for a bit but it was for the best. Some relationships are worth ending. Narcissistic ones are one of them. Let them go and lock them out.

For me it was when they told me how much they have hated me since we were kids, and then proceeded to tell me all of my wrong doings since my birth, and how their whole family jokes about me behind my back. You can never come back from that.

It’s just my intuition but I expect mine to stay away forever.

They always have someone else waiting in the wings. Like grabbing a monkey bar before swinging to another one--they are never without supply. Don't forget to say: "Don't let the door hit ya on the way out" when they finally leave and have some lawn chairs party hats and drinks with umbrellas in them lining the lawn when they move their stuff out into the moving van. It is a reason to celebrate really. Then as they leave raise your glasses for a toast to better days.

Toward the end of a 20 year friendship with an overt malignant grandiose narcissist, I was definitely devalued, lied to, and yelled at about things she accused me of that she actually did. The 'kicker' was when I saw what she was doing to her husband behind his back. Not cheating, but with glee purposefully trying to aggravate him, which it did. I wrote a short letter, without accusations, on plain white paper, saying it was over. I blocked her on all social media, phone, and email. Haven't heard a word from her. So much happier now-SO MUCH.

I think that the final discard comes from the target , when we are done and unhooverable then the relationship is done. It’s over when we finish it.

After 25 years with a covert narcissist; he discarded me. We have 3 kids together one is 22, the other is 16 and 10. The 22 year old woke up to the abuse and stood up to him and helped me realize what this behavior is (narcissism). He discarded me as he saw that our oldest son would not let him have the control he was used to. Destroyed my life by telling everyone around us (including our kids) that HE had realized that I was a manipulator and that I had cheated on him. This was HIS reason for leaving me. Thank God, my kids had witnessed enough abuse to not believe this, but of course, all his family did and I’m very isolated. My kids are with me and know that he lied about everything. That is what has kept me strong, but the damage he did; I don’t know how I’ve survived. Narcissistic behavior can really destroy human lives. 😢

I'm the one who chose when the final discard was. It was when I went no contact.

They will lovebomb you to begin with. Nice gifts. Nice dates. Charming. Funny. Affectionate. Compliments. They will tell you that they have strong feelings early on. All of this is fake!! Done to lure you in. They cant love anything or anyone (appart from themselves). I felt there was something off at the start. My gut was screaming at me to leave but i didnt listen. You will see the red flags. But choose to ignore them. When everything goes there way everything is good. But if they’ve had a stressful day at work or something happens to p*** them off they will be moody and misserable. They will play hot and cold. One day they are lovely other days they are cold and distant so you never know where you stand with them. Leaving you feeling confused, hurt and not good enough. Dont ever pull them up on their bad behaviour. If you do they will end the “relationship”. They manipulate and gaslight you into taking their bad behaviour and disrespect. How dare you stand up for yourself! You should bow down to them and be a door mat because they are the best thing since sliced bread and you should be greatful that they chose you! They will blame everything that goes wrong in the relationship on you. They are never to blame. They will never appologize. They will manipulate you into thinking its your fault and you will end up appologizing for your reaction to their bad behaviour. Everything will always be on their terms! You will do whatever they want to do when they want to do it. If its not something they enjoy doing they will not do it. And on the off chance that they will they will be misserable the whole time. They will see you when it suits them. They will never plan things in advance or make future plans. They will never fully commit. If your going through a hard time in life they will never be there to support you. They will avoid everything that involves emotional connection. Dont ever cry in front of them because they will think that your crazy for having feelings. They cant even give to a hug if you were to cry in front of them, they will just look at you blankly. They have no empathy what so ever. They are very selfish and only care about their own needs. Your needs mean nothing to them. They are dead on the inside. No feelings. No emotions. Just an empty soul. They are addicts. They drink too much. They gamble too much. They are stuck in their ways. They will never change. They will lie. They will cheat (mine had been a serial cheater in past relationships and i though that he wouldnt be the same with me. I have no proof that he cheated but from his past its very likely). They will use you. All of this will have a negative effect on your mental health. You will loose so much of yourself with a narcissist. They will drain the life out of you. Save yourself. Love yourself. Leave these toxic human beings. Moreover, I could've gotten hurt from the impact of been cheated on. I'm glad that i got to know ASAP, through METASPYHUB@GMAIL. COM and I appreciate the content you put out for us .

would like to add something. Whether my ex is a narc or not, the education on this subject has been nothing short of eye-opening and amazing. Yes, there are all the traits and behaviours, which lead me to believe she is, but it's still wrong to diagnose. But it's more than that for me. It's given me back my self worth. It's made me realise that it was still on me. I allowed it to happen because I dismissed those red flags. Having anxious attachment, I never knew about healthy boundaries. I came out of a 14 year relationship 7 years ago and stepped into a world I knew nothing about. I've had 3 relationships since then and they've all gone down the same route. Being the common denominator, the buck has to stop with me. The repeat only stops if you see the lessons and do something about it. Yes these people are wicked to the core But ultimately they only do what we allow them. We can blame them till the cows come home but we have a responsibility to ourselves first and foremost. Let's get the work done, guys, we deserve it. Happy healing 💙

A guy I dated years ago got married & years after being married he started calling me asking me to go places with him. I let him know I wasn't interested in him. I thank GOD for making me realize he wasn't who I wanted. He was nowhere near my type. His wife did me an awesome favor by marrying him & taking him off my shoulder. I should send her flowers 🌹🌹 with a thank u card!!!

My narc mother disowned me 3 times. The first 2x's I didn't believe she meant it. There's this "pretending" it never happened and because she's the "mother" I thought I was wrong and returned. After the 2nd time I "forgave" her and told myself if she does it again I will accept. She disowned me the 3rd time and I said "I accept!" It was so freeing. Since then she's used my siblings to tell me I misunderstood and she didn't mean it. But I know, and she knows, there was no misunderstanding. Now I think of her as an entity. Not human. And this helps me hold my position. Good luck everyone.

Should be a book called "How to discard a narcissist 😅

I thought it was. He dumped me and I walked away. This was in 2011. He then harassed me forever afterwards and for the most part I ignored it all. It makes no sense, he was the one that wanted out and had somebody else and I gave it to him. I had to block him on everything, not go to things because he would show up. He even followed me into an aisle at the store in 2018 and tried to talk to me. I said yep to him twice. I shouldn't have said anything but was so shocked I answered his questions. That was the last time I saw him. But he did make a comment on the next door page that I was on a couple years later so I left that page and that was the last I heard anything. Finally!!

He found a replacement

For me, with the narcissists I’ve known, the discard was almost immediately reciprocal and permanent. No hoover - because I wasn’t interested, even if I thought it might save their life (my mother). When she called me once, saying that my sister was angry with her, I took the advice I think I heard from Little Shaman, I didn’t get involved, didn’t show up at her house to do anything about it. I simply asked her if she wanted me to call 911 for her, to which she replied no. I’d understood and was clear on the fact that she’d discarded me so, I locked the door behind me. After a whole lifetime of being her biggest cheerleader, then being treated like something she wanted to stomp out of existence, I wasn’t confused or wavering. She made her choice, that was up to her, and I made mine. That she was trying to beat me over the head or control me, with lesser, probably abusive supply, was not my problem.

I just texted and said to him he is longer part of my life, I enjoy being by , myself, I have time to think, not around him, I have a peace of my mind when he's not around. and I like to keep my peace and quiet to myself, instead of him coming around and shuffling things up all the time and making a mess of everything/. so I rather be alone and not around the shenanigans.

I think the final discard, in my case, came when he finally started telling others that we were separating. He had told me several times over the years that we were “done”, but nothing ever happened or changed. I regret not following through on my plans to leave years ago.

the final discard should come from the victim!

After 4 months, my narc realized the guy she left me for was actually using her to hopefully get married and gain his citizenship. He had brainwashed her to the point she was scared of me and even kept trying to convince her to get a restraining order against me even tho there was no reason for one. I had known this but she was so caught up she didn't notice. He also kept trying to get her to move across country without her kids. We r still not starting over, but she is bak home thankfully. I am going on with my life and seemingly her as well. She keeps tryig to hoover, but after all these years i know how to finally set boundaries. Ill be moving out after my surgery in july thankfully, but ill keep u guys updated. So wish me luck!!

They will experience the same results with others, no one really wants to be a slave. And, they will be back. They also have some experience with triangulating people against each other, and will do whatever they can to keep their previous romantic relationships, to use them against their current, or new ones. Maybe someday I'll meet someone, who doesn't dream that their life isn't some fictional reality show, with a harem fighting over them. But, I won't hold my breath. The finality of the break-up depends on the survivor of the abuse, staying away from the conflict, and not providing supply.

He ‘final’ discarded me X times during our 12 year relationship…every time he gave the silent treatment…until I discarded him 4 months ago 😌

You should sell t shirts that say “Become Un-Hooverable”

Idk if I’ve ever clicked on a video so fast. My narc just contacted me for the first time in 4 years and I’ve been employing every mental health mechanism to not panic about whether or not it’ll happen again.

Thank you Dr Ramani, this is so😮 true. Once they discard is a perfect opportunity to take control over your own life. They will always try to come back but that is in your power to block access.

Also when they know that you know how they are and they are worried that you’ll reveal them to others. They’ll run.

Being the daughter of a narcissistic mother I grew up this way. I've felt pretty successful in the last three months having no contact with my ex. But my brother reached out for my birthday and I excepted his invite to meet up with him at his church. I love my brother. I will do my best to be supportive of him while keeping to the boundaries I have for myself. I feel very strong right now. It truly was a good one hour with him. ✝️🙏

If they're able to get supply posting phony photos on social media with a primary supply, they won't have any use for you in public. They may keep contacting you though.

My malignant narcissistic ex wife cheated on me with her boss, also giving her boss $1000s for Heroin, supposedly for her bosses gf, but I think they all 3 partook. I got the final discard when I filed for divorce, 1 attempt at a hoover, but I ignored it. Then a malignant narcissistic divorce ensued. Then later I had to sue her for what was 7 in contempt of court. She knew that I knew so much about her and the fact she wouldn't pay our bills, including mortgage, was a drug addict, alcoholic, and fraudulently stole my entire retirement from me (a disabled person), she won't come close to me ever again. The shame is so great, I've seen the back of her forever. God is good everyday!

I was successful in getting my ex to stop trying to Hoover me by telling him that I go to church now . Knew that would work!!

For me it was death. ❤and sadly I'm relived

The final discard for me was when I realised and accepted that I couldn't cope with the cycles of Narcissism any longer - I was quite done! So I prepared my exit strategy and at the next devaluation/discard, walked away, kept any remaining communication minimal/practical/indifferent and went no-contact when the final issues were resolved adequately. Several hoover attempts followed but I held to my resolve. It was only some considerable later that I actually fully realised it was narcissism I was dealing with.

I caved and reached out to a possible narcissistic friend I hadn’t heard from in a while. The interaction was blah and made me feel sad. I regret reaching out. Realizing he’s not a good friend to me, I give way more. I want to discard him now! Focusing on my life and being unhooverable. 💪🏼 Thank you Dr Ramani ❤

My narcissist boss has been caught in stealing money from her father's business and opening up multiple credit cards in his name. She has been fired by her father, and the secret service is evaluating the amount of fraud she has done. Work is so much nicer now. I don't have to protect the people around me know that she has gone😊

These videos have definitely help me. I am currently going through the "discard" phase.. however it is me doing the discard.. I am 44 years old and have 2 children with my wife but over the years it has become more and more obvious I am living with someone who has narcissistic traits (I don't think she has NPD but could be wrong) She would talk to me like s**t.. demean me, talk down to me, stonewall me, cut me off when I am trying to talk and express how i feel.. Say things like "What do you want me to say?" "I don't know what you expect me to do" I felt lost but now I am finding somewhere else to live she has started the hoovering phase "I don't want you to move out, I am sorry, I love you and want us to be together" It has been so hard dealing with this but I have put my foot down and told her that I am moving out.. I have talked to the children and explained what is going on, she really didn't like that. However as I am still living in the family home (i'm on the sofa and staying out of her way) it's getting harder each day ... I appreciate all the help these videos and others have provided.. my self esteem has been so low over the years that I want it back.. I deserve to be happy as everyone else does.. I am taking back my life❤

So Brilliant. Whether or not a Narcissist hoovers has so much to do with whether they're getting their Supply needs met or not. The "Final" discard then becomes this complex and elusive thing. You are so Great at this, Dr. Ramani! BTW, you look Beautiful.

My ex has yet to give me a "final discard" even tho he has a new source. After my divorce, and him now on his 4th wife, he still gaslights, tells lies, and manipulation to glorify himself... he is desparate for validation. My children, friends, and our families know the truth and we all ignore him

I just wanted to drop a note of thanks to you and the other psychologists who are finally talking about narcissism. I am 71 and I was the scapegoat in a narcissistic family. I, of course, did not know it then. I thought I was the crazy one and I sought help but there was none. Alcohol and being a work alcoholic became my coping mechanisms until I was 32. At that point it all came down. Just to give you the context. I was a functioning alcoholic, respected on my job. When I told them I needed help, they could not do enough for me Within 2 days of telling my boss, I was in a treatment center. I told my mother the night before. She said, don't go there, come home and I will help you. ( I lived in CT, my mother was in NJ). I said no. A few months after I got sober my mother told me how embarrassing it is was for HER for me to go into a treatment center. I said I live in CT, you the live in NJ. Nobody even had to know. Apparently she told everyone (neighbors and relatives). Her response? "Of course I did." I didn't bother to try and find out her logic there.

Beautiful conclusion! The final discard happened for me, wether or not she comes back like a snake, she won't get in.

The problem is some are very good at hiding their true intentions, and they fool you into believing they love you. Then if you never dealt narcissistic person, then it will take you time to come to the conclusion that the person is truly evil. The only way to deal with a narcissistic is not to play their idiotic game. When you leave them then you find out all the other terrible stuff they did behind your back. Then they beg you to come back ... don't let them back!!!

The final discard is a blessing. Excellent information. Thank you 😎

I like your analogy about the moving virus. I always wondered why the narcissist moved from coast to coast, city to city so many times in her life. Looking for a new group of supply may explain it. I'm just happy she discarded me eventually moved out of my hometown!

Dr. Ramani, I just want you to know that I've given your name to so many people! You have helped me so much over the years. I can spot a narc so easily these days & they seem to be everywhere! Thank you for all the people you've helped. Thank you for being real, honest & encouraging. God bless you!

My narc ex boyfriend stalked me for 2 years; Phone calls in the middle of the night, calling me up to say he saw me somewhere and described exactly what I was wearing, a lot of that crazy stuff. At that time he still got my golden necklace and some personal stuff, and he knew I wanted these items back. I was 20 years old back than, but thank god I was so smart to play it hard, and I acted like I didn't care about the necklace etc. One day he showed up at my house (we lived 300 miles apart), sunglasses on, baseball cap so I didn't recognize him... I didn't open the door but I watched him... he had his car parked at the end of my street... when he was gone, I found my necklace and the other stuff in my mailbox. I never heard from him again. I'm 45 now and I'm still so relieved I escaped this relationship;

My narc ex got married to someone he's just met, less than a year after he discarded me. I think I'm in the clear 😅

Peace and quiet finally then

Yes, I liked the idea of becoming "unhooverable" - this much healthier path of getting myself and my life into a place in which I am in love with a healthy person and building a healthy life together, a time in which i am involved with meaningful activities that fills my heart and soul and no future faking promisses could distract me from it. Thank you Dr. Ramani for this inspiring video.

*THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS A “FINAL DISCARD” FROM A NARCISSIST!* The “final discard” *has to be initiated and completed by YOU* in order to exist or become a real thing. Otherwise the term itself is rubbish.

*I love the grounded reality of this channel!!!* Retirement took a toll on my finances, but with my involvement in the digital market, $27,000 weekly returns has been life changing. AWESOME GOD❤️🎉❤

I’m discarding the narc… had to go no contact which I felt very guilty for but I HAD TO!!! I will not be manipulated or sucked back in again! Time to be me again!

In my situation, I will make the final discard.

My narcissist tried hoovering and showing off their wealth , once he realised that I saw thru him . I asked him to fuck off, never looked back after 4 years finally I could breathe an air of freedom !

They push you to the edge when you leave you are accused of breaking up the relationship.

It’s hard to fathom which narc damage is the worst. Is it family, is it spouse or lover, is it employers or is it kids. I think maybe if your children are afflicted, that may be the most painful. What do you think? ❤ to the decent.

The final discard I knew was coming when we stopped sleeping together, he initiated this step and right before this he was on the missing list, with the new supply. He hoovered once a few years later but I shut it down. I haven't seen him for nearly six years.

My youngest son warned us for possibly 5 years his brother warned us his older brother was narcissistic with others. Now we are in the discard phase with big brother. We may well be entering a Hoover phase because we have been cut off from grandkids for about a year. It is about time he figures out Grandma and Grandpa were handy.

🎉🎉🎉 ty needed this one bad! All of those things you said has happened in his life and Mine Im so HAPPY , Blessed 🕊️

Apologies for sharing, but l just had to share as l am so full of excitement as for the first time in almost five year my ex didn't gaslight me, although he tried with everything he had . the nasty twisted things he was accusing of in front of many professionals yet, l stayed calm and focused on why l was at the meeting , l couldn't have achieved this if it wasn't for the knowledge and skill of DR Ramani thank you for giving me the tools to prove l am not crazy you are a remarkable women ❤

Dr. R, your make-up is on point!

i PLATONICALLY love Dr. Ramani. She is SO COOL...

I was with my Narc partner for almost 10years. He got cancer but beat during the relationship, while I was his caretaker. He got a new job and started to climb the corporate ladder and devalue and discard finally happened. I had to initiate the break up with him because he felt too much shame to leave me after everything we went through . He treated me so poorly that I had to leave. I now realize that I put up with his horrendous behavior because he was sick. It was all so confusing.

Needed this

Thank you for everything you do 🙏🏾

I'm glad mine has a new supply before the divorce and I wish them the best. My final was when I claimed my voice back and set boundaries around me. The rose colored glasses were gorilla glued no longer and it feels amazing!

Thank you Doctor Ramani for your support.

It's a difficult thing for many.people. I ve had family discard me . I've had people I dated discard me it's not up to the person who tolerated all too much sometimes ....it's like getting attacked from a pit bull.the dog may not want to let go of the hold.

Thank you this was a good one and I appreciate it not being a compilation of value when you tell us it’s a compilation OK team thank you

So Awesome!!!! Thank you Thank you !!! 👍❤❤❤

Thank you for Excellent Lesson Dr. Ramani. Also, such a lovely summer color!🩷🩷✨🩷🌸👚🩷👛👡🩷✨🩷🩷👑

Dr. Ramani, I am deeply grateful for your insightful work. I find myself wishing I had discovered your videos nine years ago, before I entered a relationship with a narcissist, and a year ago, before I became roommates with another. However, I am relieved to finally have my questions answered and to understand the dynamics at play, thanks to you. It’s never too late (so they say)😊 Unfortunately, I am beginning to belive that the surge of narcissism we are now witnessing globally, across diverse cultures, might simply signify a new phase in human evolution. From an evolutionary standpoint, it seems to me that the empathetic, descent people are not only vulnerable, but we are also at risk of being simply outmatched by these predators. I wouldn’t be surprised if in next few decades, being narcissisitc will become the ‘new normal’... If this theory proves accurate, I am somewhat relieved that I will not be around to witness such a future…

You are absolutely right. I experienced everything you just said.

In my case it was kind of mutual discard. We were both frustrated, angry and hurt after going through the same cycle over and over again for years. We both lost hope. I learnt (the hard way) that she's a narcissist and will never be satisfied or grateful for anything and that I will forever be her punching bag. And I think she realized in the past few years that I've changed and not willing to put up with all of her BS. When it was over it felt like this is it. We both gave up. And with all the sadness that could be when a long term relationship is over, it feels empowering to take care of myself and invest my energies in healthy activities and people and not keeping getting sucked into this toxicity. I wish I would have heard about Dr. Ramani 20 years ago...

Dr Ramani is saving me thank you Maam

I've just been through this. I still adore her. She promised me a lot (closeness, intimacy, commitment) nearly a year ago. I never asked her for anything, and to be fair she did say that she was still living with her ex and would move out in a few weeks off her own back at the start, and then she was going on about how we'd be together by the end of August and then September and describing all the stuff we'd do, and then we'd be together at Christmas, and then in the new year. Then it was her new years resolution to sort it out. Then she just seemed to drop it with no fanfare and no apologies or explanations, as if she'd never said anything. She also made lots of other promises that were extremely important but disappeared with no explanation. I said at the beginning I was only concerned that I'd get attached and end up heartbroken because she'd go off me over a period of months, and that she'd probably have more problems getting her own house that she thought. She made all that into a trust issue and literally said she'd never go off me, and I should wait and see. So after about 5 months she started provoking me all the time saying I was chatting other women up and bascially being disloyal. She'd actually done that from the start occasionally tbh, but we'd usually been able to work it out there and then. I actually found it a bit cute that she liked me so much that she was concerned about me cheating, but after that 5 months it just got worse. She'd take offence at absolutely nothing and give me the silent treatment for days, said the relationship was on one week and off the next, but whilst it was 'off' she'd still accuse me of being disloyal. Go figure? I never did anything, I'm a very shy person, and I've not even had sex in 8 years. Never chatted anyone up at all. So the last time she started stonewalling me over something she inexplicably got annoyed about, I called her out on social media where I'd met her for being a narcissist. I'm getting criticised for this. Some of her 'friends' (supply) are having a go at me. I think I did the right thing for various reasons that are fairly complicated.

Thank you Dr Ramani 🙏