Does the Media Have an Obsession With Queer Pain?
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2 жыл бұрынHi everyone, welcome back! In today's video I'm briefly exploring the topic of queer pain in media.
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Works I consumed in prep for this video:
ARTICLES
Why do curators still equate the ‘queer experience’ with pain?
www.documentjournal.com/2019/...
HBO Max’s Genera+ion Is a Teenage Nightmare
www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/...
The Cis Gaze
How Trans People Are Viewed Through Cis Expectations
transsubstantiation.com/the-c...
There’s No Good Reason to Watch Belgium’s Controversial Girl
www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/...
Bury Your Gays
tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.ph...
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@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
👚😌The sweatshirt I'm wearing is from Give Humanity! www.GiveHumanity.com They are Black owned and their profits help fund humanitarian efforts all around the world. So far they've been to Haiti, Peru, China and Kenya. Let's support them and keep it going! 🔗🌈Links to support the trans community, Gaza relief and many other organizations are in the description. 📸💋The Teen Vogue article and the RADAR 2021 video I was featured in are also both in the description. 💖And as always, an extended and uncensored version of this video as well as bonus content is available right now at Patreon.com/TeeNoir I really appreciate you.
@kellyriddell5014 2 жыл бұрын
Your makeup looks amazing with that sweatshirt! Was that on purpose or just coincidence? :)
@chelsigoliath 2 жыл бұрын
Really appreciate you!
@klejdidavidhi7563 2 жыл бұрын
@TeeNoir be playing cause when love simon and love victor came out you all were like this shit is unrealistic and doesn't rapresent the trauma we face but now you don't like traumatic qeer stories this is why we get no rapresentation you aren't happy with anything and don't support them especially when queer characters are at a center of a show
@SipDeathTheKid 2 жыл бұрын
I just want to thank you for making videos about the things you're passionate about. You help me on my journey to become a better person by being more aware of the things I do and the way I think .(I won't go into detail as to not write a novel but I grew up in a VERY religious household with ALOT of homophobia; caused me to hate myself because of my sexuality.) I am now proudly bi and pretty happy about it 👌. Keep doing you girl! Happy pride.
@meghansullivan6812 2 жыл бұрын
Oh fuck yea it’s like u read my mind cuz as soon as the video started I thought “that’s a cute sweatshirt” and to know my $$$ is going to a good cause??? Nut😩
@Carla-ou2yb 2 жыл бұрын
I loved how Sex Education just showed someone realising they are pan and then having a girlfriend without any big struggle or problems. I really needed that traumaless queer representation
@thatsdisco 2 жыл бұрын
I do think that Eric got the worst of the lot in regards to queer pain. The time he got beat up for being misinterpreted as a transwoman was... very upsetting to say the least. Especially given that they don't have any trans characters so far.
@hithere2477 2 жыл бұрын
@@thatsdisco well soon they will have a non-binary character in S3 so I can’t wait for that
@lizziemailord9524 2 жыл бұрын
@@hithere2477 hell yeah, finally getting some representation
@mynameisnttessdani8464 2 жыл бұрын
I hate how they gave Eric and Adam this whole bully to lover trope bc it's low-key just toxic and reminded of a wattpad book I once read, but otherwise the show is good
@annmariebusu9924 2 жыл бұрын
@Johannes Tessema I want him to be with the French guy. I don’t like the other guy abusing him. Hopefully the new season he will see he can do better.
@tinymxnticore 2 жыл бұрын
This may be controversial, but “I Love My Dead Gay Son” is one of my faves from Heathers. It pokes fun at the way queer trauma can be inspiration porn for straight people who otherwise don’t give a f**k about us. JD points out in the movie: “Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse….” And the fact that we, as an audience, know that Kurt and Ram weren’t actually gay, but toxic misogynistic homophobes, makes it darkly satirical without portraying real queer pain.
@elishevaw.4158 2 жыл бұрын
Yup!!! Totally agree :)
@deeduml 2 жыл бұрын
Yeah I love that song
@strawburryjamz2974 2 жыл бұрын
I agree and Also Tiny Manticore!!!!
@korbyn9002 2 жыл бұрын
Yesssss love it
@scornonthecob5375 2 жыл бұрын
OMG exactly! I could never put my finger on why I loved the song so much and you articulated it perfectly
@NuggetGalSoph 2 жыл бұрын
I love Dreamwork's She-ra because none of the characters sexuality is ever part of their pain. In that world being queer is just... normal for everyone and nobody questions it. It's very refreshing to see characters being queer in a none homophobic world.
@libragoddess98287 2 жыл бұрын
EXACTLY. I cried the hell out of EVERY episode. It was so beautiful
@keyrianreacts7355 2 жыл бұрын
@@libragoddess98287 hell Yeah it was!! ToT 👌🏻
@forgetmenotjimmy 2 жыл бұрын
Another show like that is Netflix's The Dragon Prince. Unfortunately none of the queer characters are main characters but it's completely normalised in the world; also the first time I've seen two Queens ruling together!
@BlueDandyLyon 2 жыл бұрын
Talk about IT, I fucking love she ra’s workd
@isabella-bh2zp 2 жыл бұрын
Yes!!! 100%. She-ra is so great!
@samuelelias3781 2 жыл бұрын
The media’s obsession with queer pain can also lead to people, even queer people, believing that hardship and discrimination are necessary for one to be queer.
@Maya-vo8br 2 жыл бұрын
Wow I can relate to this comment. I recently came out to my family as bi but it wasn’t a big thing. Like my mom walked in my room for something and I just said “hey by the way I’m bi” and she was like “oh that’s great” since my family is really accepting about things like that. My whole friend group is part of the lgbtq community so coming out to them was also very anticlimactic. And I do think it’s important to portray the hardships of the community because I know that many people unfortunately don’t have as accepting family and friends as I do. I know my situation was very fortunate but like I said earlier it was very anticlimactic for me and I think that’s on movies and tv making it that queer pain has to be the climax of the story so I felt like I wasn’t truly experiencing what media portrays as the queer experience.
@bzuku9554 2 жыл бұрын
it's not necessary but it's bound to happen at one point. unless i misinterpreted what u mean
@etalex7074 Жыл бұрын
I mean I personally am a lot more interested in stories when the main characters go through pain and hardship but ok
@tariqthomas9090 2 жыл бұрын
I also have to talk about Pose here. Pose was a show filled with joy and happiness as much as trauma but was often criticized for being a fairy tale or unrealistic for LGBTQ+ characters. Straight people in media get to experience all kinds of unrealistic happy endings but somehow it becomes different for us. I definitely think we’ve become too comfortable and desensitized to us experiencing trauma in shows. And that’s not even getting into being black or a POC as well as queer.
@scornonthecob5375 2 жыл бұрын
Honestly... I feel like straight people were the only ones upset by it being “unrealistic” too like sometimes we like it that way, it’s a nice escape. Personally I didn’t even find it too unrealistic though
@princessmanitari4993 2 жыл бұрын
and at the same time i believe we also expect trauma now. That's how our relationship with the movie love, simon became so difficult, seperate from the bad written friend scene, love, simon is viewed very differently, because we do not expect comfort gay movies, and if they are, they are generally bad or written with big corporations. but that's my perspective on this!
@tariqthomas9090 2 жыл бұрын
@@princessmanitari4993 Yeah, I’m a black bi guy who loved both Love, Simon and Love, Victor. I think Love, Victor is better (especially Season 2). It’s definitely more realistic and Victor’s friends aren’t insufferable like Simon’s.
@tiaraw872 2 жыл бұрын
@@scornonthecob5375 false
@jackriver8385 2 жыл бұрын
@@scornonthecob5375 yeah it's really not that unrealistic to experience joy while living a hard life. Those aren't mutually exclusive.
@juuuuuuuuuunie 2 жыл бұрын
I think as queer people we've become accustomed to consuming queer representation through the lens of heteronormativity and on top of that queer stories are being pushed and told by cishet people. Queerness isn't worked neatly into the plot and tackled with the nuance it deserves (with intersectionality) Queerness when tackled in media is looked at as one concept centralized in our pain and suffering.
@lesbiangoddess290 2 жыл бұрын
THIS^^. The sexualization, the obsession with stereotypes and lack of nuance and intersectionality is so tiring and over done. I'm exhausted and I want more for myself and other queer people and the media to move away from those lazy tropes.
@fltrnoid 2 жыл бұрын
omg exactly. couldn’t have said it better.
@brian_Austin27 2 жыл бұрын
Yup
@mjc.bughao7441 2 жыл бұрын
Agree, that is why I always say that LGBT+ movies/tv shows should be made by, cast by and for the LGBT+ community. And not made by, cast by and for Cishets that are just profiting off our stories but in reality they don't give a single fuck about us 🤦🏽♀️😬🖕🏽🙃
@generalsynch6519 2 жыл бұрын
exactly, this is why so many homophobic cis straight people feel as if the lgbt “agenda” is being pushed onto them, because these characters aren’t being worked into the plot effectively
@williamn1743 2 жыл бұрын
Although I love sex education, I literally HATE Eric and Adam’s relationship. I’m so over seeing gay men in media fall in love with people who abuse them.
@hemlata9450 2 жыл бұрын
Agreed There isn't anything like a relationship between them yet But whatever it is it's gonna be toxic Even Eric's relationship with Rahim I love Eric so much I want the best for him
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
You ain't told not one lie
@mr.xharlie 2 жыл бұрын
THANK YOU, I've been saying this forever. All it does it continue the narrative that alot of homophobic people are "secretly gay" and will end up in gay relationships. True some people have internalized homophobia but ALOT of others are just hateful bigots.
@burnteffigy87 2 жыл бұрын
Absolutely
@1234demilovatofan 2 жыл бұрын
I hate Eric's relationship with Rahim too
@fatimahlovesjoon6190 2 жыл бұрын
I'm a black queer Muslim woman and i often imagine that if I were a character in a show, I'd only have a part as comedic queer relief or the rebellious muslimah
@ginaningsih8912 2 жыл бұрын
Felt this sm
@ilomilo1387 2 жыл бұрын
twins
@youbasictoxicconch 2 жыл бұрын
I feel this so much as a bi Muslim girl. I have yet to see a proper representation, maybe I just need to expand my entertainment media, but I'm not hoping too much.
@ari-fx4kv 2 жыл бұрын
AHHHH HII OMG IM MUSLIM AND QUEER I FEEL SO GOOD WHEN I FIND PPL LIKE MENSNS
@MissYucca13 2 жыл бұрын
I'm just gonna drop one recommendation here for Muslim representation: The Bold Type features a lovely storyline with a queer Muslim woman. I don't wanna spoil anything (and be aware that the relationship has some ups and downs), but imho it's a wonderful portrayal of a woman who is able to "have it all" and not that trope of "queerness VS religious beliefs". TBT is currently in its last season (5) and I can't promise that it'll end on a good note in the last 3 episodes, but so far she has a good storyline. There is pain and heartbreak and all that jazz, but it's a good and realistic story that's being told.✌️🙂
@sinny555 2 жыл бұрын
I'm closeted, and every time my family talk about how "the media is forcing this "gayism" on our children," it literally makes me cringe. My mom also looked at me weird because I was happy that it was pride month.
@harinder13137 2 жыл бұрын
if she ask u why are u smiling when its pride month, and she gets a little too suspicious just say " Oh nothings its just-" runs away
@111greatness6 2 жыл бұрын
that’s one of the many things that sucks about being closeted you wanna defend lgbtq+ but don’t want them to think you’re apart of the community 😭
@ephemeralhope8410 2 жыл бұрын
@111greatness yep. it really sucks. for me, my parents are transphobic and I just have to sit there while they spew bullshit
@blueisblue599 2 жыл бұрын
I remember my grandmother getting defensive when I called out her out for being homophobic. It really hurts knowing your family will never accept you for who you are.
@jimjimjimmy7793 2 жыл бұрын
@@oyinosolo5837 make sure you’re in a safer situation where you can be on your own before you talk about those things with them
@t1234odd5 2 жыл бұрын
Girl talk about it. People were talking about how the last season of Pose was boring and I thought is queer happiness boring? Do people love watching us queer folk in pain 24/7 and when we're not it's "boring". Cause I know damn well if it were a straight storyline the girls would be saying hashtag goals and "wholesome vibes". Thank you so much for bringing up this topic, it been on my mind a lot this month especially. We've gotten so used to our media representing our pain so much, people think we're not interesting without it, even us the community feel we have to hold on to that pain for brownie points to say we're queer cause we've suffered. NO! WE'RE QUEER BECAUSE WE'RE QUEER.
@lesbiangoddess290 2 жыл бұрын
PLEASE SPEAK ON IT! I too as a queer person sick of the fucking pain that we have to go through in the name of "entertainment" and being "boring". Again asking the question: queer people being happy is boring to you?
@ambarcastaneda4763 2 жыл бұрын
THIS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻
@t1234odd5 2 жыл бұрын
@@lesbiangoddess290 exactly!! We get to be happy too. And that should be just as good, if not better entertainment than our struggles.
@iMsOiNsO 2 жыл бұрын
I haven’t heard that it was boring if I did I’d probably punch someone in the jaw so if that’s why is I dont hear it
@brooklyneason3531 2 жыл бұрын
I love this comment❤❤
@yanela.n 2 жыл бұрын
personally as black gay man with homophobic parents, i want more queer pain to be showcased on television. i want my parents to witness the challenges we go through and i have personally gone through as queers, in hopes that a sort of empathy and acceptance will appear in them. i want to see less of the gay best friend who sleeps around a lot, because in all honesty that's how the media depicts gays, especially black gays, and that's what my parents, and other queerphobes eat up, thats the narrative that actually needs to go. we need more queer pain to show we are also humans, and not a bunch of loose sinners.
@anja3221 2 жыл бұрын
That’s such an interesting take, thank you for sharing! I agree 100%, but I’m simultaneously very very tired of the bury your gays trope and want more happy queer stories. I think both those opinions can and should coexist. Sending you love 🤍
@idiasweet8191 2 жыл бұрын
@@anja3221 yep!
@user-kg6qu6yv1l 2 жыл бұрын
@@anja3221 yeah we need a little bit of both.
@justlola417 2 жыл бұрын
That is very interesting actually, I do agree that seeing other's pain can make you question yourself and your values, and seeing the hurt you're causing so clearly explained really is a great way for self reflection. But I think a problem with both those depictions is that they're not from the perspective of the queer person, so both of them are not realistic and the takeaway to real life people may not be what was expected. The depiction of the always happy gay best friend who sleeps with everyone lacks depth and is a caricature that fuels homophobics' ideas of us, yes absolutely, but also the tragic "life is suffering and everyone hates me and I'm trying to stop being gay and be 'the perfect child' but I just can't and queerness is a burden and I hate myself" gay character also comes out as forced and fake, and as they're not, as she said in the video, a person who suffered but a character who only lives to suffer (something like that), even people who were moved by it don't recognise real life queer people as deserving of the same empathy, because if you're not experiencing that ridiculous level of pain that's become so normalised then what are you even complaining about?? Also, I heard many times straight people complain about "Oscar bait" dramas and how nobody's like that, and invalidating queer people's real life struggles altogether because the movie's are seemingly so blown out of proportion. I think there should be a balance, sympathetic depictions, not a completely light-hearted comic relief or a completely tragic caricature with nothing else behind it, but characters that are real people who can be happy and fun sometimes even if they struggle (and also who are engaging to watch, there's only so much pain I can see a character go through before I'm not interested anymore)
@alliexcx5576 2 жыл бұрын
i love seeing other peoples opinions. Thats a great take
@mxar2074 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like the queer comunity needs more representation in comedies. Imagine a "friends-type" sitcom with an all lgbtq+ diverse cast living in nyc in 2021. that would be so much fun to watch :(
@Andy-zp3mv 2 жыл бұрын
i would prefer a more new girl (or even that 70s show) type vibe in a queer friend group show but ur point still stands
@mitsukislife 2 жыл бұрын
@@Andy-zp3mv I agree. Friends feels super hetero and basic 💀 I want better for all the marginalized groups!
@tara-bc6oe 2 жыл бұрын
I promise you they're gonna do this and you're gonna say Dang I called it. I give it 2 years
@nataliewalker9682 2 жыл бұрын
do you mean like will and grace but for today?or something different? but i agree that would be very nice to watch!
@katiestevenson7742 2 жыл бұрын
@@mitsukislife Friends would of a mess with different sexuality characters, What if Gay did a video covering it Chandler was Gay, he would probably have a crush on Joey who wouldn't like him and like Monica instead. Phoebe would be Bi or Pan and would like Joey and Rachel. Ross would still straight and like Rachel. And I don't know if Rachel would be Bi but I think that the varied mix of the six characters.
@danyaelmalik2641 2 жыл бұрын
It's just such a shame that queer women get so little representation as a whole but "But I'm A Cheerleader" is an absolute childhood classic for me!
@strudel3200 2 жыл бұрын
I wish the marketing was better for that movie, I had NO idea it was a LGBTQ+/lesbian movie, until a year later because it was in my recommended. 😭
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
I love that movie!
@BoiWonda02 2 жыл бұрын
I'd love your take on D.E.B.s
@tsb5274 2 жыл бұрын
I liked pariah too
@lesbiangoddess290 2 жыл бұрын
That movie is so much fun
@nadiahassan2030 2 жыл бұрын
They really need to stop killing off gay characters as soon as the show has had enough and just added their character to fill in the gay role. Then the show writers are like " what? we gave you some representation. That's better than nothing 🙄"
@kendon0923 2 жыл бұрын
This! I just started Ragnarok and when they introduced 2 gay characters in the first ep and then promptly killed off one and neutered the other for the rest of the season. I was like why bother?
@strudel3200 2 жыл бұрын
Or if they do have a gay character that's not killed they barely go into depth with their backstory or personality. 💀
@honeybunch44 2 жыл бұрын
supernatural😭😭
@annaeggland9397 2 жыл бұрын
@ the 100
@nadiahassan2030 2 жыл бұрын
@@annaeggland9397 Exactly. They did Lexa dirty 😭
@HeyRowanEllis 2 жыл бұрын
Ahh I'm so excited for this video and your thoughts!!!
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
thank you soooooo much!!
@HeyRowanEllis 2 жыл бұрын
@@TeeNoir coming back to say this vid was brill and also what the hell you are so sweet omg!!
@Artechiza 2 жыл бұрын
You gals are the absolute best commentary channels on youtube and your collaboration was **cheff kiss**, tysm! keep up with your amazing contents, much love ××
@nicholamarshall9927 2 жыл бұрын
A collaboration that feeds my soul
@SuperStarfire88 2 жыл бұрын
One of the best movies I've seen in recent years is "The Handmaiden" a Korean film where the entire plot and female characters developing feelings for each other didn't revolve around their sexual orientation. The movie took its time with establishing the two leads and who they were as people and did some interesting things story structure wise with pov and I recommend it to anyone who wants to watch a good movie and as one of the only movies that features two women in a romantic relationship.
@ab-ye5he 2 жыл бұрын
omg i LOVE the handmaiden its hands down one of my fave movies
@user-kg6qu6yv1l 2 жыл бұрын
wait so , the handmaiden has a female lead?
@SuperStarfire88 2 жыл бұрын
@@user-kg6qu6yv1l Yes, it has two.
@user-kg6qu6yv1l 2 жыл бұрын
@@SuperStarfire88 I finished it last night and you're right it's really good. I loved it sm as a wlw.
@breadsrights6824 2 жыл бұрын
I was recommended by a friend to watch it, it’s so good
@imani0nline 2 жыл бұрын
It’s honestly such a win for me when I find a wlw love story where they both make it out alive 😩
@gilanapatrick 2 жыл бұрын
I honestly love when I see your comments on video essays I watch. Your "rags to riches" comment on @amandamaryanna 's 'why all your favourite celebrities have rich parents' video is literall my lock screen.
@oyinosolo5837 2 жыл бұрын
It literally gives me life to see your comments 💅🏾
@jimjimjimmy7793 2 жыл бұрын
I be seein you everywhere
@trees____383 2 жыл бұрын
or where the show doesn’t get canceled. i’m tired of period pieces where one dies and shows that have potential but get canceled
@siennajayden 2 жыл бұрын
Trees ____ teenage bounty hunters💔💔
@angeldust914 2 жыл бұрын
i haven’t watched it yet but LITERALLY UGH SO CORRECT
@kayladelvalle960 2 жыл бұрын
ONG 💯👏🏻
@eiffel108 2 жыл бұрын
love your pfp
@Borahborah9139 2 жыл бұрын
Lmao
@snakes7303 2 жыл бұрын
My mood whenever she posts a video
@joaoalbuquerque9289 2 жыл бұрын
Right !! Wen I Saw the thumbnail I was like :👁️👄👁️ " acurate af "
@Veachie 2 жыл бұрын
Sense8 is such an underrated gem. I'm still mad that it got cancelled. It's pretty much every genre imaginable with 8 queer people who are telepathically connected. The story does bring in homophobia and transphobia, and a major theme of the series is about oppression. But the show is REALLY about humanity and culture - and that in the end we're more similar to each other than we realize despite our differences.
@emersauce 2 жыл бұрын
I am also angry Sense8 was canceled, such a beautiful show 🙃
@bhargavagowda8434 2 жыл бұрын
Wtf Im just hearing about this. Whyyyy
@carnuatus 2 жыл бұрын
THIS THIS THIS. I still haven't watched the final episode because I'm still that upset about it, now. 😂 Not only was it lgbtqia+ positive, but it also showed strong but realistic female characters. They weren't just ~strong women.~ They were human.
@lr6740 2 жыл бұрын
Speaking of queer pain being pushed by media platforms, boys don’t cry is being shown on Disney+ in the ‘celebrate pride’ section. Honestly, a film about the r*pe and murder of a trans man in a film poorly handled by cis people is not my definition of celebration.
@elliottfox3581 2 жыл бұрын
I’m yet to see a queer show directed by a queer person that isn’t centered around homophobia.
@kendon0923 2 жыл бұрын
I think you need to expand fam. If we’re talking gay shows, then it would be weird if homophobia was never mentioned but I wouldn’t call it centered in many of the shows I’ve seen. If we’re just talking gay characters, many shows have gay characters as part of an ensemble that don’t bring up homophobia at all. Quite frankly I can’t think of the show you’re talking about that centers around homophobia that came out recently.
@rizmiii 2 жыл бұрын
Check out the She-Ra reboot! Created by a queer person, has tons of great queer representation, and there’s zero homophobia
@allyli1718 2 жыл бұрын
@@rizmiii this!! Being gay is normal and almost all of the confirmed relationships are gay, while the straight ones are more implied!! We even have magic biological babies for gay couples!! And a non-binary character who is never misgendered!!!
@tfwo1990 2 жыл бұрын
Ik its a kids show but the new she ra its really good 😗✋
@pizzahutcaraccident 2 жыл бұрын
everything's gonna be okay (idk if he directs it but its written by a gay dude and he plays the main one)
@rw7873 2 жыл бұрын
There is a three-part Korean short film series here on KZfaq call “1 in 10,000” that I absolutely loved. There is no queer pain but it is focused around a little heartbreak. The plot is about two women who have a connection but one of them doesn’t really believe in love (I know it sounds very cliché already, but it’s ✨gay cliché✨; we should be allowed to have that). It shows three moments in their relationship: their initial connection, their break-up, and their reconciliation 10 years later from their beginning.
@CamazonPrime 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for the recommendation ❤️
@ooin_otaku4282 2 жыл бұрын
Ahh that reminds me of this Japanese BL I saw Life~Love on the Line
@riashroff2658 2 жыл бұрын
That sounds a bit like moments in love (the new season of master of none) which must have come after this show.
@ducklingtrain2793 2 жыл бұрын
@Sunflowers Unfathomable The director goes by the name of 'PD' and their youtube channel is called 'Form of Therapy' (:
@erincantdrum 2 жыл бұрын
This unlocked a memory I forgot I had. I went looking for it on mydramalist to make sure i wasn't getting it confused with a different wlw Korean short, and it wasn't there, but when i went to the youtube channel it was like my brain awoke. Such a great short! It reminds me of 'Less Than Or Equal To 75 Degrees Celsius' because that (although it was an advertisement miniseries) was super cute!
@alext3480 2 жыл бұрын
this is like black women and shows being centered around their pain/racism
@ebbie0074 2 жыл бұрын
I noticed that too.
@LonelyParadiseKiss 2 жыл бұрын
The way they revealed a gay couple in 'The Letter for the King', only to kill one off in the end. How many times have we seen queer/gay characters die in movies/series. I can't even.
@burnteffigy87 2 жыл бұрын
Yea soon as they kissed I knew one of them was dying...they could've let Arman be the martyr to make up for his Father's treachery that way he exhonerates the Family name and proves himself to his friends.
@LooseAsADEUCE 2 жыл бұрын
OMG yes. I already decided I hated that show because of the bait & switch but them killing the gay character just sealed the deal for me.
@shineymcshine5026 2 жыл бұрын
Tbh ive noticed that! the end of the movie is always sad.😕 Like its really rare for a “Happy Ending” especially from a gay male point of view movie. Wtf is up with that?
@Matt_the_pirate 2 жыл бұрын
Supernatural too, that's just fucking sad
@JoaoLucas-ut8vv 2 жыл бұрын
I also feel us queer people are restricted to specific genres, like we can either be main characters of comedies or dramas or romances (or musical blend with the previous ones). What about slasher films? What about action films? What about sci-fi? Important to mention these are usually genres in which characters must react immediately and aggressively to life threats in order to survive, while the other genres we tend to be restricted to like to put us in a passive response to serve a supposed "likelihood". To me, it's just a resistance to the image of queer people bodily fighting back. Here in Brazil, trans women from the outskirts keep razors in their mouths and knifes in their bras. They are literally trained to combat and won't die without a fight. These women are more than ready to be a Mission: Impossible protagonist doing everything Tom Cruise does, but in heels and tight short dresses. Brazilian independent cinema is still working on it ("Bacurau", Grand Jury winner of Cannes in 2019, has a non-binary warrior that is quite symbolic in that sense), but when it comes to global cinema, specially in Hollywood, there seems to be an insurmountable wall to put us in more surreal and fantastic genres that can bend circumstances and archetypes in favour of a normal gaze breach - hell, in favour of a queer utopia!
@coolum.5226 2 жыл бұрын
But in such genre, sexuality isn’t mentioned nor does it matter because it usually doesn’t even include romance.
@JoaoLucas-ut8vv 2 жыл бұрын
@@coolum.5226 not really tho, sex is very present in slasher and action films. How much isn't cishet sex a strong part of 007, for instance, and all the sex appeal around the bond girls. There is almost always a hot girl for the action male protagonist. There's also quite a lot of times a sexual pulsing aura with the youngsters that go to sheds and cabins in the forest to be slaughtered by a killer in a mask. We even got the famous "final girl" archetype, usually a virgin, while couples who have sex get killed (Halloween, Friday the 13th and so on). These clichés became even a sattire in films like "The Cabin in the Woods". Indeed, not every film of these genres is sexually charged, and I think sci-fi is probably the least sexualized one, but a cishet sexual culture is very much perpetrated into the other two, as much as a heteroromantic one is near omnipresent in film industry products until recent decades.
@viquetoriaa 2 жыл бұрын
@João Lucas that is true.. the only diference is that these themes of heterosexuality are not the marketing focus in those features, but they're there, but we can't say the same about queer representation, its always treated as a big deal.. i really wish we could have more action or sci-fi films with queer protagonists without that being exploited, just showing a queer person being normal and facing whatever is the plot just like a cis het would (e bacurau é um ótimo exemplo! dsclp não pude evitar reconhecer um amg brasileiro kkkkk 😊)
@JoaoLucas-ut8vv 2 жыл бұрын
@@viquetoriaa Aaaaaa o plot twist! 🧡🧡🧡🧡Achei que você fosse dos states mulher KKKKKK fiquei feliiiiiiizzzz
@viquetoriaa 2 жыл бұрын
@@JoaoLucas-ut8vv uahuahauau scrr eu é que fiquei❤️ nunca vi outro br aqui nos comentários da Tee, o seu é incrível!!
@lelunechild 2 жыл бұрын
This is a very similar topic to the black trauma that's shown in film and television
@Black-iz6tj 2 жыл бұрын
That what I was thinking! I literally refuse to watch Black trauma films I have enough of that in real life. The same goes for queer movies lol
@crispharm8443 2 жыл бұрын
big facts. like why do we need so many slave movies? I hope for one day where black and queer people can just casually exist in a fantasy setting or something. the fact that characters have to be hetero and white so the audience can relate to them fucking sucks man
@clartblart3266 2 жыл бұрын
@@crispharm8443 I got a few recommendations: Shadow and Bone (Dark Fantasy/Drama with asian girl protagonist, many other asian, south asian, black and biracial characters) The Owl House (Fantasy/Adventure show with dominican afro latina protagonist who is also bi, asian and black secondary characters and many side characters) She-Ra reboot (Fantasy/Adventure with many poc secondary characters, many of them queer and genderqueer) Lupin (Mystery with black guy protagonist, some other poc characters) Zero (Superhero show with black guy protagonist, some other poc characters) Kipo And The Age of Wonderbeasts (Fantasy/Adventure with a technically blasian protagonist [technically because her skin is pink cause of plot reasons so idk if I would count her but still, her parents are still in a biracial, korean and black american relationship], a black gay secondary character, a black girl secondary character, plus some other poc characters) Sense 8 (Sci fi with many poc main characters, of the titular 8, 3 are poc, and apart from that it's just a ton of important poc characters in different roles, probably one of the most diverse casts I've ever seen anddd ethnic diversity which isn't just american #1 and american #2, they are all from different countries) Amphibia (Fantasy/Adventure with a thai protagonist, chinese main character, some other poc characters although not that many mostly because she's on a non human world full of frog people, but in the incoming season 3 they are teasing a bunch of new poc characters) Infinity Train (Sci fi/Mystery with native american boy protagonist on season 2, black girl protagonist in season 3, 2 asian boy protagonists on season 4) I could keep going but this is immense already, tell me if you want more, happy watching! So...yeah! In conclusion, things are slowly, but surely getting better.
@crispharm8443 2 жыл бұрын
@@clartblart3266 you absolute saint. I was already planning on binge watching a ton of stuff this summer so I’m definitely gotta check these out! feels good knowing there’s diversity out there
@MrMarsFargo 2 жыл бұрын
My three favorite LGBTQ+ films ever: --> Portrait of a Lady on Fire (2019) --> A Secret Love (2020) --> Paris is Burning (1990) All have an element of pain, but the pain is usually in relation to some main emphasis of joy. Regardless, I think it's no coincident that they're all so revered and also directed by actual LGBTQ+ people rather than just straight people. I would go as far as to call "Portrait of a Lady on Fire" the greatest romance film ever made.
@eyesonliyah 2 жыл бұрын
I love Paris is Burning
@Jimin-km9qx 2 жыл бұрын
Paris is burning is so underrated it was ahead of the time a documentary in the 80s showing what’s to bring trans and LGBT in general, it’s sad bc that film deserved to be more famous
@amediate1246 2 жыл бұрын
sex education is on another level, the characters are all so fleshed out and have so much depth to them regardless of their gender, sexuality, race, etc. the way they treat diversity too, they don't make a characters queerness or race the center of their story, they are people with dimensions beyond just those labels and it's so refreshing to see it treated so lightly and normally. one of my favorite parts of the show was ola's realization that she had feelings for lily, and it was just a relationship like any other. nobody reacted weirdly and it was so simple and easy to see an lgbtq+ character go through it without all the "queer pain".
@phebedansou8732 2 жыл бұрын
I'm ngl my fave is Eric in sex education mainly cause I related to his character and he gives me so much hope because I'm both African and queer with religious parents and it was so heartwarming to see his parents except him the way I want mine to.
@Chlo255 2 жыл бұрын
I also love Eric. I like that they show how supportive his church community is.
@samkelly4132 2 жыл бұрын
I’m not religious myself, but I loved seeing Eric’s arc of religion helping him to be happy in himself And I found it interesting that in s2 they contrasted his experience of religion and his sexuality with Rahim’s experience, and how they have completely opposing views, but could still get along
@annmariebusu9924 2 жыл бұрын
I love how they made his parents accepting. The media often make it seem as if black people are homophobic more than the rest. I grew up in a black community and many people were accepting. Currently I even see my old school aunties welcome lesbians. Some family members still behind time though but they know to be quiet.
@jointhejincult5425 2 жыл бұрын
Babe, me too. I'm Nigerian and queer with religious parents. Where in Africa are you from?
@phebedansou8732 2 жыл бұрын
@@jointhejincult5425 I'm Liberian and togolese 😊
@SilentMeteorite 2 жыл бұрын
"That sentence was worth the wait, wasn't it?" THAT'S AN UNDERSTATEMENT
@ianpaulx 2 жыл бұрын
i'm still amazed how well written your videos are. each release feels like a term paper for my language, gender and media class. the writing feels nuanced and very argumentative without being "too academic" it'll feel like statements come from a moral highhorse with little to no touch to the human experience.
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
Wow I really appreciate this comment 🥺
@LinnaAP 2 жыл бұрын
I believe this video: "Yuri on Ice - How Gay is Gay Enough?" from James Somerton's channel answer some of your questions beautifully and I love that both videos were released on the same day, it's like fate!
@samkelly4132 2 жыл бұрын
I love James Somertons videos, especially his queer coding videos
@meghan135 2 жыл бұрын
The manga called “my lesbian experience with loneliness” is so amazing. It’s a (multi part) memoir about the author’s life that focuses almost entirely on her finding independence and direction as an adult with a history of mental health issues. It also talks (on the side, instead of it being the focal point) about the loneliness of dating as a lesbian which helped me through my breakup and fear I’d never find another girlfriend. It definitely is sad but witty and so well done. It’s a great coming of age piece for mid to late 20 somethings who everyone else assumes has all their stuff together
@itsnickim4326 2 жыл бұрын
i already know whatever is abt to be said is going to be facts 😩
@taimariemoore8369 2 жыл бұрын
mhm
@karisjoy5348 2 жыл бұрын
Nicki!!!
@RamboQuellz 2 жыл бұрын
am I the only person tired of HIGH SCHOOL coming of age stories ages 14 - 17??? Like can we get a new series about college students and coming into adult hood? Ages 21 - 25? Cause life AFTER high school is waaay more difficult! And so many stories can be told!
@springfrog8624 2 жыл бұрын
also then maybe the characters would be played by people their age :,)
@RamboQuellz 2 жыл бұрын
@@springfrog8624 Right!
@kjarakravik4837 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like people underestimate the fact that positive experiences can generate a lot of empathy. Suffering may be able to generate pity, but being in love can generate more of an 'aww, same" feeling? For example, I've seen cis people react to a pos narative about a trans person finally getting to present the way they want with "wow, I never knew these things could make such a difference" or with " I'm glad this person gets to be theselves" or "I don't want to prevent anyone from acces to this immense joy". Also, these are book recs because I couldn't think of any shows (Rowan Ellis had a bunch of amazing movie recs) but "This Is How You Lose the Time War" is amazing and popular for a reason, it's one of the most poetic things I've ever read and it's centered around enemies-to-lovers-space-time-travelers (sapphic characters in space? surprisingly common in newer sci-fi books), and "The House in the Cerulean Sea" was wholesome and had adoption and found family
@zzavid5911 2 жыл бұрын
HONEYYYYYY I don’t care what nobody says I had a ball watching Genera+ion, I mean it did feel like there was a lot going on at times. But like it says on my Grindr profile, I can take a lot. HAPPY PRIDE MONTH EVERYONE 💜💛💚❤️💙
@fridasaavedra8460 2 жыл бұрын
Not Grindr profile girl 😫 happy pride btw
@hanseungwoo2518 2 жыл бұрын
ZZAVIDDDDD
@sebastiansaveca777 2 жыл бұрын
Omg ZZavid!!
@siennajayden 2 жыл бұрын
ZZAVIDDDDDDDDDDD OMG
@bizziegrace 2 жыл бұрын
oh my goddd when she talked about genera+ion i instantly thought of your reaction video
@angpina7293 2 жыл бұрын
I absolutely LOVE Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe. It’s such a great book and it deals with pain and going through later teenage years as Mexican American gay kids, but oh my GOD is it good. I’m a latine American gay person and it just. Really hit close to me so I absolutely enjoyed the read. It was my first read for the summer and I recommend reading it in the summer.
@arianas7866 2 жыл бұрын
I LOVE IT SO MUCH TOO AAAAAAAA THE ULIMATE SLOW BURNNNNN❤😊
@dangernoodle9961 2 жыл бұрын
it's so good. I didn't feel like it was too focused on the pain - it was really nice and felt real but not tragic, yk?
@angpina7293 2 жыл бұрын
@@arianas7866 IT REALLY IS also like. I relate with both characters so much (Ari more tbh I like. Made a list abt small similarities I found funny) it’s such a good book I’m so happy others have read and enjoyed it!
@freshwaterotter7708 2 жыл бұрын
Literally, such a good book. Also its getting sequel this year!
@angpina7293 2 жыл бұрын
@@dangernoodle9961 YEAH just. I guess for me the pain is more towards trying to reconnect with family? which I struggle with and it made me cry a bunch lol. And also towards the end is triggering so that’s why I still added it in as like a disclaimer but it was very nice and real like you said!!! It’s a good story and by the end I felt extremely happy and glad I read it
@jaytearra89 2 жыл бұрын
A 2000’s gay ass movie I really like is “But I’m a Cheerleader “ I saw bits of it when I was younger and kinda knew that I was a lil...ya know 😗✋🏾🌈 I will say it does have some questionable tropes in it but over all it’s really cute , campy (idek if I used that right lol) and the ending was really cute . 🥰 It’s free on KZfaq btw!!!!
@Heyitschy03 2 жыл бұрын
ooo
@strudel3200 2 жыл бұрын
I dont watch many LGBTQ+ shows because not all of them tend to represent us nicely, or they ONLY show us in pain. So far I have only watched POSE and Sex Education and they are SO good. I binged them after putting them off for so long, but I can relate to Sex Education more since I'm a teen. :))
@Andy-zp3mv 2 жыл бұрын
idk about you but if ur into cartoons or kids shows you should watch kipo, the dragon prince, she-ra, or julie and the phantoms they all have queer characters but homophobia isn’t even like a thing in the shows (or it is but it’s barely talked about) and they’re all on netflix :) same with atypical but that’s more a teenage show
@witchshairlichen 2 жыл бұрын
If you like comedies you should watch Schitt's Creek. One of the main characters is pansexual and it's done really well for him and his endgame love interest.
@The_Real_Hikki 2 жыл бұрын
I recommend umbrella academy, klaus is pan and sometimes crossdresses
@niekasniekiausias824 2 жыл бұрын
You should check out skam and young royals
@leah-marie1241 2 жыл бұрын
You'll find them in other languages like Thai and Japanese
@ladyblubel 2 жыл бұрын
This came at the perfect time for me tbh. In my gc, we were talking about how often straight artists use traumatic LGBTQ+ experiences (“his mom loved the church more than him”, “a love that people don’t support” etc. lyrics) to show their allyship and how much that feeds into the glamorization of homophobia (like Romeo and Juliet but in gay, which I call Romeo and Julius)
@thatsdisco 2 жыл бұрын
or the sapphic version, ramona and juliet
@marytc2714 2 жыл бұрын
@@thatsdisco yes
@noorramdani4801 2 жыл бұрын
All jokes aside, I would want to SEE you go to the Met Gala.
@HappyExtheist 2 жыл бұрын
Happy Pride! I'm 54 and recently came out as bisexual to a select few people. Yay me!
@Heyitschy03 2 жыл бұрын
congratulations
@hadriel2914 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like a lot of shows that aren’t focused on the characters’ identities treat being queer as character dept. I’m a big fan of the Umbrella Academy and I think for the type of show it is, it gives good representation for the different characters without making their identity the core of the story. I think what’s better is showing how being LGBTQ+ is perceived differently without pretending queerphobia in that past didn’t exist or making the characters in the present go through literally all the ways queerphobia exists in the present. I want to know what kind of music the characters listen to, their hobbies, how they make friends and find lovers. As a young queer person, I’m tired of seeing people like me in media go through so much hate and that’s part of why it was hard for me to accept myself because according to all the shows I watched, it seemed like I was doomed to be hated and bullied until the day I died. It’s not “preparing kids for reality”, it’s conditioning them to accept abuse as the norm.
@crakandra9672 2 жыл бұрын
2 books I read recently have my fav gay stories: Honey Girl and This is how you lose the time war. Honey Girl follows the struggle of being black and gay in white het dominated career field and also the idea of perfection. I personally love when queerness isn't the main plot of the story and is treated just part of someone's identity like it is for straight people. Same thing goes for the second book it's a sci fi romance about two women on opposite sides of a war navigating through time in order to win the war for their respective side. One leaves a letter for the other in a way to mock and tease them but then this letter exchange turns into something more. Oh and another one of my favs is Cemetery Boys. Now that incorporates queer pain is such a relatable but not explotive way.
@shaylaheflin8842 2 жыл бұрын
Just going off the books you recommended, you should really give One Last Stop a read. It’s about this girl who moves to New York and meets a girl on the subway, but oops! The super charming punk chick is actually a radical activist from the 70s who got stuck in time and now can’t leave the subway! It’s the perfect Pride month read.
@crakandra9672 2 жыл бұрын
@@shaylaheflin8842 i think ive heard of that book did it just recently come out (no pun intended 🤣🤣) and thank you for recommending me a book 🥺🥺
@jenna.livingston 2 жыл бұрын
Honey Girl was pretty refreshing, honestly. This is How You Lose the Time War is on my list! Edit: also Carry On! Imagine a book with a love triangle between two men fighting over a woman, only to find out they're both really into each other instead. It was awesome haha
@crakandra9672 2 жыл бұрын
@@jenna.livingston omg i love that in a love triangle 😍😍
@karenholl2489 2 жыл бұрын
Cemetery Boys ahhhhhh i loved that book so much. And I'm actually currently reading Honey Girl now cuz it got great reviews and it seemed interesting but i'm really sad to say it's just not hit the mark for me. The plot and the premise and themes i absolutely love but there are just many things about the writing and storytelling that i can't get into. i feel so bad cuz i wanted to love it i just don't :(
@Chuuzus 2 жыл бұрын
we need more movies like Moonlight.
@klejdidavidhi7563 2 жыл бұрын
we need more wholsome rom coms too
@matutinam2673 2 жыл бұрын
Moonlight was robbed by Lalaland, as was Living Single was robbed by Friends 😔
@kukukuku4773 2 жыл бұрын
Watch happy together a Hong Kong queer movie from 1997 ! Moonlight was actually inspired from that movie . It’s super good 👍🏼 😊
@heekamalokilo7194 2 жыл бұрын
@@matutinam2673 Moonlight won Best Picture. How was it robbed by La La Land?
@matutinam2673 2 жыл бұрын
@@heekamalokilo7194 This is a reference to the Oscar hosts that announced Lalaland as the Best Picture winner, even if Moonlight won it. This was the butt of the joke for that year's Oscar - just showing how we constantly get robbed of the spotlight in historical moments for black people in the industry, like how Friends profited off of the concept of Living Single: a black dominated cast.
@defective_zuckerbot 2 жыл бұрын
I'm very tired as a trans person of people assuming my transness is the height of my problems. Cis people can't seem to comprehend transness without suffering.
@coffee-ouji Жыл бұрын
same here. i have mental issues and the moment i mention i'm trans they go "OMG how does that make you feel?? diD it mAKE A dIFFerEnCE in Your LIfe rn??" nah bro, that's bs, i'm just constantly academically anxious and feel severe loneliness, shut up
@aaron_collen 2 жыл бұрын
I actually liked Generation A LOT. And it's precisely because the main cast are queer characters that aren't traumatized. I'm privileged enough to be a bi trans guy who hasn't have any problem at all related to his identity. So like, I absolutly think that queer characters that experience trauma are necesary in media, but I find super hard to relate to them. I was able with generation, I needed it, that's why I liked it so much.
@timeneses 2 жыл бұрын
Queer pain is valid. Queer joy is valid. Queer rage is valid. Our story isn't just one of those things.
@lauradavis6393 2 жыл бұрын
I like She-ra 2018. It is like no homophobia exists in universe. It is just not a thing. So you can focus on characters and their relationships and the drama of the show. There is no character wondering if people won't accept them because of who they like. There is no coming out or gay realization. You just like who you like. Attraction is never questioned in the show. It was a breath of fresh air for me and I wish more shows were like that.
@ambarcastaneda4763 2 жыл бұрын
This is my current hyperfixation and I absolutely love it to death!!! 💖 I feel like it’s underrated and it bothers me sm because it’s the best 😭 Especially for people like me who prefer light hearted fantasy shows
@libragoddess98287 2 жыл бұрын
YASSSSSSS. Noelle Stevenson outdid themselves cause that show is amazing. I cried at every piece of representation from sexuality to gender identities to body types. But they didn't only serve that but also the story was great. I just *contended sigh*
@forgetmenotjimmy 2 жыл бұрын
The Dragon Prince on Netflix is like that! The gay characters aren't main or anything but their relationships are just completely normal in that world.
@rollsofcinnamonbeignets 2 жыл бұрын
If you liked that aspect of She-Ra, boy oh boy do I have the podcast for you : The Penumbra Podcast. It’s a fiction podcast with two main stories : the Second Citadel story, which takes place in a conservative world where homophobia and sexism are real and explored, and the Juno Steel story, which takes place in a futuristic world where homophobia and sexism just aren’t a thing. Juno Steel is a bisexual private investigator on Mars and the story is basically about him having the worst time of his life, but just like She-Ra, taking away things like homophobia and sexism really gives the space to focus on other things, such as parental abuse, depression, capitalism, things like that. The writing is amazing, Juno and all his peers really feel like real people, and the world building is believable. Even though it tackles difficult subjects ( and mostly does it really well ) it still has appropriate and hysterically funny humor. All the character relationships are brilliant and it’s so refreshing. Basically 99% of the characters are queer and it’s one of my comfort shows. Second Citadel is also great in it’s on way, I just haven’t really gotten into it yet. The Penumbra is on Spotify and basically anywhere you can find podcasts. It’s a rather small production but the cast is amazing and the writers so damn talented, so if that sounds like something you’d like, definitely check it out !
@marciarodriguez5109 2 жыл бұрын
DRUCK season 6 is one of the most genuine representations of queerness I’ve seen, and it’s actually played by queer actors
@sgtmian 2 жыл бұрын
i think it's my favorite skam season of the ones i've seen. i liked spain's gay season too, though, also played by queer actors. it makes a huge difference for me.
@kathmeaow 2 жыл бұрын
I didn't even know it had a season 6!!! I kinda stopped following the whole slam universe a while ago. Thank you so much for this comment. I'll go watch it ❤️ druck was always one of my favourites
@Lysey96 2 жыл бұрын
I really loved Moonlight, because it was brilliantly acted and written. It obviously was full of queer pain but it also had queer joy and firsts and the intensity and cinematic quality for both portions was there.
@TheAmityElf 2 жыл бұрын
Sex Education made me really happy, because of how open the communication with the sex therapist mom was. Also, Tumblr blog blessedarethebinarybreakers makes me happy.
@floturner9364 2 жыл бұрын
I think this also has some similarities to the video Shanspeare made about the black female “superhero” role, that their humanity is diluted and their characters only serve as tools to show a strong black woman rather than a complicated normal person that is actually accurate to normal life. This similarly reduces the person to only to one singular aspect to their personality, unlike a cis, heterosexual white person who might have their character explored in much deeper ways.
@lovre1845 2 жыл бұрын
Personally as a gay teen, I appreciate my struggles being seen on TV from time to time as it makes me feel less alone and more connected to others with similar experiences HOWEVER sometimes I don’t tune into shows and movies for that reason and I would love to see more innocent, light hearted depictions of gay relationships because constantly making all gay content about our struggle just makes me feel more alienated and less hopeful of a normal life in the future
@simizackariah5811 2 жыл бұрын
“These are people experiencing tribulations, not people who belong to tribulations!” Oh my good Lord! YAAAS! ✨ thank you! :’)
@khufuhollyjr4577 2 жыл бұрын
This is kinda the problem I had with moonlight, bc I was 10 when I first saw it and it seemed like the main character was only ever being traumatized or having his joy taken from him. As a younger person realizing that I liked guys it was painful for me to see that as a black queer person, I may not be able to have and maintain the joy that I've always wanted.
@thatsdisco 2 жыл бұрын
I never thought of it that way, but now that you mention it, I agree. I wish you had a more cheesy happy story about being a gay black kid, too.
@trees____383 2 жыл бұрын
yeah. funny enough i go to the school the character went to and live around the same area. the difference between me and him is that i’m sapphic. it’s hard to see someone like you only be hurt. this theme is synonymous with most queer movies and even more so if they’re black or trans. i loved the lighting and how it was presented it just seemed like someone like him could only be in pain (of course up until the ending but by ending it’s literally the end). when i first realized that i liked only girls it was already pounded into my head that i may never be happy and if i were to be happy i’d have to wait a long time. i’ve left that mindset behind me thanks to real life situations and people my age on the internet experimenting and being happy. moonlight could very well be a real situation and i’m sure a lot of people do go through that pain however, there’s too many movies where it is majority trauma and then you get like 20 minutes of the character actually being happy.
@khufuhollyjr4577 2 жыл бұрын
@@trees____383 I completely agree
@ivory6933 2 жыл бұрын
See this is where I struggle, I do think that queer pain shouldn't be the primary aspect of a media portrayal but I also think it's too important to be looked over if that makes sense? It seems like a balancing act, queer pain and queer pride/joy both need to be presented.
@JP-dw9tv 2 жыл бұрын
@Ivory Completely agree, honestly I’ve found recent queer stories hard to watch at times because I feel like many of them exclude or minimize the struggle of coming to terms with your sexuality and existing in a heteronormative society. Like a lot of stuff nowadays seems to showcase queer people having completely fairytale coming out scenes and movement through society. I don’t want to see tragic ending and severe trauma and pain all the time, but I don’t feel represented by complete idealism either. I want nuance.
@sgtmian 2 жыл бұрын
@@JP-dw9tv i want a little of both, as long as it feels based in reality. i get why people want the fairy tales, but the fact of the matter is our stories inevitably feature homophobia in some sort of way because that is the world we live in. even if it's internalized, or subtle, it's still there. if you take homophobia and the pain that comes with that out of our stories suddenly it isn't real. at least not for me, and i didn't have extremely homophobic parents or friends who weren't accepting, it's just that existing as a queer person hasn't been and still isn't easy.
@Icy_815 2 жыл бұрын
And they either leave a gay character as the simple “gay best friend” or they magically end up with the magically appearing other gay person. Why do gay characters always have to suffer? Why can’t they show the side of being gay that media doesn’t show? Being gay is GREAT for a lot of people
@ZombiBunni_ 2 жыл бұрын
Oh wait, but.. hoo, I started crying instantaneously when you said, “I wonder if they (queer youth) somehow accept these tragic depictions as their fate; because they see it so often in media.” Yeah. I didn’t even realize it, but I think that **is** something that I’ve internalized. Between pop culture and social media, I’ve definitely grown up with a sense of “you should be accepted and safe, but you never will be”. It hurts.
@connectinspireentertain4595 2 жыл бұрын
I find in movies that center on minority groups, accolades come from pain narratives (slavery, sexism, sexual preference, any discrimination etc). The dominant (most accepted) groups have the luxury of telling stories that could easily center around any topic. Yet awards, critical acclaim for other groups comes from zeroing in on what makes them different than “main stream”. It is unfortunate, and helps to perpetuate those that don’t live that experience only seeing people from the lens of what makes them different, not what makes them human.
@chels2369 2 жыл бұрын
Honestly, I find watching almost all LGBTQ+ specific shows/movies rather hard to watch. The media seems to revolve around the struggle (both internal and external) of being queer and how being queer defines all of their adversities. The archetypal relationships between queer protagonists and their parents are so evident of this, often times the protagonist's relationship with their parents is defined/altered by their queerness whether it be negative or positive. Never do you see a queer protagonist's relationship with their parents strained for a reason that could happen to anyone (like divorce, chronic health conditions etc), it is always the fact they are queer. Being queer is a trait that complements the person someone already is, not a way of defining who they are and what they experience and I feel like the media has to catch up with that.
@miaa1762 2 жыл бұрын
Off-topic, but a family member of mine was bragging about how they went off on someone for saying gay wasn't a choice. Like ma'am...it isn't. Why are you being proud of showing your ignorance 💀
@allyishoranitup 2 жыл бұрын
some nice queer shows that don't capitalize on queer trauma: betty, everything's gonna be okay, feel good, steven universe, work in progress! i also loved the movie rafiki but it most certainly involves pain, although the ending is very hopeful
@hazesway3945 2 жыл бұрын
It's true. You can't hardly find a Queer movie that ends in happiness. It hurts my 💙 sometimes🌈
@emmannuellehardiman7428 2 жыл бұрын
My favorite gay show was Noah's Ark I don't care what no one says I loved the fact there was 4 gay black men who where all different shades of black being just happy and living their best life
@AmariSali 2 жыл бұрын
This has been on my watch list forever >.
@ringsofblayze4026 2 жыл бұрын
Best show ever
@eugeniemonique 2 жыл бұрын
Yessss!!
@jarelanderson1787 2 жыл бұрын
Oh yess love the show
@jennellrobinson1264 2 жыл бұрын
ohhh where can I watch this??
@crazylips123 2 жыл бұрын
"these are people experiencing tribulations, not people who belong in tribulations" YES! you said everything and more with this phase, every single Hollywood writer room should have this printed
@reginaruedas379 2 жыл бұрын
Check out The Owl house!! It's an amazing show it's from Disney but the creator herself is bi and is pushing and fighting to represent the community (the main character "Luz" is also bi and bipoc!) And the story is so good, the animation is beautiful and it has amazing characters (plus is about a world of witches and demons is great) 🦉💙
@humolovesjessie185 2 жыл бұрын
This is so deeeeep, thank you. It's "trauma culture", and where this comes from (in my opinion) is deeply rooted in Judeo-Xistian values rooted in the banking system of sufering & redemption and "being saved", in otder to be worthy of existing. Any group of ppl who do not adhere to the norm, are made to go through a collective hazing by the dominant culture in order to earn their place in the pantheon of acceptable humanity. Trauma-Drama about Blk/Brown and Queer folk has become the liberal rite of passage dujour in our modern culture.
@Djzgwg 2 жыл бұрын
A
@jimjimjimmy7793 2 жыл бұрын
A+
@s.e.m.7767 2 жыл бұрын
That is not a Jewish value... Just Christian.
@franknstein5376 2 жыл бұрын
@@s.e.m.7767 Not really, if you for example think about the 10 commandments and Abraham (both in the old testament): I think this is a common trope of all Abrahamic religions. I agree though thay Christians (and especially Catholics, and I am an Italian saying it) love their martyrs' stories
@s.e.m.7767 2 жыл бұрын
@@franknstein5376 I hear what you are saying and yes I know the 10 commandments and Abraham both are in the Tanakh but I don't fully see that as being part of a a culture of being saved or suffering to be worth existing. I think that is much more christian value. Also I just take issue with the term Judeo-christian values in general because when people say it it mainly means Christian but they want to seem both inclusive to Jewish people and exclusive to Islamic people (not that I am suggesting that is what the first comment was doing!). That term rarely actually reflects any genuine Jewish values just saying.
@jacksonlam8032 2 жыл бұрын
I'd like to put my recommendation out there for season 3 of the show Druck (It's a German drama and I've found it online with English subs). The entirety of season 3 (which can be watched as a standalone) has a prominently featured non-white trans guy love interest who doesn't have a transitioning or coming out or physical violence narrative. The season is from the perspective of the not-so-likeable white cis gay character who develops into a likeable character by the end. It has a happy ending and calls out the cis savior trope so well. There are more queer stories in other seasons (S6) that I'd also recommend watching, but this comment is long enough already XD.
@idealisticcynic06 2 жыл бұрын
OH MY GOD I FOUND A FELLOW FAN YESS!!! I mentioned Skam in a comment and only briefly mentioned that there are other versions but Druck is definitely my favorite I think in terms of representation and even story though I haven't watched the show or even the others but yes I love David so much there is just so much to him and his character arc and it really goes to show a good character can be written without having to exploit their trauma
@Az-bf8ik 2 жыл бұрын
I love Druck propaganda !!
@ellax325 2 жыл бұрын
Season 3 of Druck and SKAM France are *chef's kiss*
@CArles-xw5lf 2 жыл бұрын
yes omg i love druck
@apocalypseready6256 2 жыл бұрын
SKAM France, Germany, and Norway are a _dream_ for their S3 storylines.
@doshimaaa 2 жыл бұрын
i LOVE God's Own Country (on Hulu!). it's like CMBYN except both leads are of age, and the ending is very sweet :)
@JayJay-nv2fs 2 жыл бұрын
Loved "The Half of It." Especially how their closeness and relationships evolved. Be it romantic or platonic.
@michaelalpert8328 2 жыл бұрын
Not a movie or show but a book “Felix ever after” omfg this book. Even though some of Felix’s experiences are very different to mine (he goes to a private school) I really related to the book. I feel like the author gave an accurate depiction of life as a queer trans man. I didn’t absolutely love it but it was still pretty good.
@urmisharma8360 2 жыл бұрын
Ooh u have any good book reccs?
@stro-ganoff 2 жыл бұрын
I love this book! I think it did a good job
@elena0351 2 жыл бұрын
At some point (Especially in the beginning) Felix was a little unlikeable to me, but I have to say, he really really developed and the story had some v interesting points not only about the discrimination of queer people in general, but also for the discrimination inside the community like TERFs and representation of queerness. Very interesting to read all in all
@Ambergetahobby 2 жыл бұрын
i watched this cute lil lgbt short film called “And Then” and I HIGHLY recommend it! It’s about a woman who visits Japan and falls in love with another woman before she has to go back to Seattle. literally my only complaint is that i wish it were longer.
@freds2699 2 жыл бұрын
I loved the book Cemetery Boys by Aiden Thomas. The representation in this was so good and wholesome, even though the characters have to deal with some issues (family not accepting identity, etc).
@amaliawannabe4663 2 жыл бұрын
"I told sunset about you " masterpiece 🥰 , I can't express it enough btw it's a thai drama
@jasminethegrayknight 2 жыл бұрын
To anyone to reads this: Happy Pride! Remember your love or non-love is valid and amazing! Your body and gender is your own to define as you see fit. And you are all beautiful and maybe a lil smexy too…. 😘
@yellowcrocs9000 2 жыл бұрын
thank you, happy pride to you too!
@stupidass69420 2 жыл бұрын
Tysm! Happy pride to you too 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️💕
@slehbencheikh2950 2 жыл бұрын
you rly do deserve an invitation to the met gala tbh.
@dyoopiter 2 жыл бұрын
++++
@coltonwolf3462 2 жыл бұрын
i recently started watching the first season of Elite and seeing Omar and Ander’s relationship made me mad because of this hard relationship that centers around queer pain. as someone who is queer myself (gay specifically) it annoys me that characters cannot live happily and positively for once. and i obviously understand that our lives are constantly examined by society but sometimes we as a community need an escape from that. its taxing to constantly feel like our lives are negative.
@iratakeuchi3031 2 жыл бұрын
Having “Sex Education” as an amazing example for how teen dramas with queer representation should be , it’s really hard to find something that comes close, but I definitely enjoyed Genera+ion. I loved the main boy who catfished his teacher and I thought that his struggles not based solely on his queerness was definitely refreshing.
@mdp6503 2 жыл бұрын
derry girls has a lesbian character and its handled very well! its also very funny
@nico-ke1nn 2 жыл бұрын
one of my favorite queer shows is Betty!! (the sequel series to skate kitchen) it’s about a group of queer skater kids in nyc, it takes place in present day, and imo it has just the right balance of queer representation within relationships, trauma and daily life!! it doesn’t focus on queer pain too much, but it’s still enough to be realistic and relatable
@selfproclaimedesper778 2 жыл бұрын
The show sex education really hurt me. Why is it, that in every movie with a queer character that they have to really shack up with their abuser/bully?
@romansrevenge1711 2 жыл бұрын
“these r ppl experiencing tribulations, not ppl who belong to tribulations.” this is exactly my thought process on this subject put into words. we r constantly seen as the tribulation or connected to the tribulation BUT THATS NOT WHO WE ARE. we r not simply defined by the tribulations we face whether big or small. of course, they help us become stronger and better ppl but they r not ourselves entirely. it has come to the point where queer pain is the only “not boring” or “deep”form of queer entertainment in the media and THAT SHOULDNT BE. thank u for this video queen it rly needed to be talked abt❤️❤️❤️
@liviec.8429 2 жыл бұрын
Happy Pride! While Genera+ion is alright (and I definitely agree that the pacing went way too fast sometimes), I'd definitely recommend HBO's Betty! The show follows five young women skaters in NYC as they navigate the male-domimated skater world and their adventures in young-adulthood. Wlw and sapphic representation!! Some queer pain with Honeybear's character but not too much suffering in my opinion, and the drama of all the main characters seems pretty balanced out comparatively. Show's first season was only like six episodes, but season two started last week!
@tarinimusic 2 жыл бұрын
The shows "The Fosters" And "Good Trouble" Are great examples of shows that don't reduce the lives of LGBTQIA+ people to their queerness. And ofcourse they cover SO MANY social/political issues while also maintaining an air of lightness and love. Just the absolute best!!
@mitsukislife 2 жыл бұрын
I agree; the Fosters was the first time I really saw a Trans individual's storyline that was a main part of the show instead of a passing comment or joke
@janad4678 2 жыл бұрын
U literally just opened my eyes about something that I feel I've been trying to avoid: feeling as if in order to be REALLY queer, I must go through some heavy shit. I am lucky enough to have an accepting family, good friends and a wonderful girlfriend and not have gone through any type of pain. Yet, when I speak with other queer people and hear their stories, I feel less valid because of how "easy" it's been for me. And I'm pretty sure most of it has a relation with how LGBT+ characters are portrayed in shows and how that has affected my personal view of my story. Queer happiness on the media should not be rare. We NEED to be able to see, especially young LGBT+ people, that our sexuality is not an impediment in archiving happiness.
@gbasek 2 жыл бұрын
Ugh love when queer collaborators work together. I would love to watch a conversation between you and Rowan about queerness and black queerness in media
@TeeNoir 2 жыл бұрын
That would be so cool! I love her videos so much
@Luiza-vm5jz 2 жыл бұрын
i recommend crazy ex-girlfriend that has a really good representation on bisexuality and they actually acknowledge characters as bissexuals plus it's a great show, jane the virgin and brooklyn nine-nine also have really good bisexual representation in the later seasons, one day at a time has amazing lesbian and non binary representation, the magicians also has a good representation of queerness and zoey's extraordinary playlist has a nice representation on gender fluid
@heatherlee2967 2 жыл бұрын
Yes! Darryl’s mid-life realization that he might not be straight was so natural and well-done. “Getting Bi~“ is a bop
@monstermoo4191 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like a boomer, but that was my first reaction to Genera+ion. "I'd recommend Crazy Ex-Girlfriend over this." For any gen Z people exploring their sexuality or what love/romance looks like to them, I just feel like Rachel Bloom was more responsible in her story telling and all of her characters had arcs and grew. Granted, I'm only on episode 3, but so far the show has mostly been these kids running around being extremely messy and unlikeable... it reminds of how She's Gotta Have It marketed itself as having a young, black, queer, polyamorous lead... and she ended up kind of being a narcissistic strawman millennial.
@lenkatasic 2 жыл бұрын
the magicians have good representation and it’s a great show but i’m still not over the end of season 4
@BeingBennetGreen 2 жыл бұрын
I agree with you about how characters and how they are depicted. The struggle/trauma becomes bigger than the characters, and has a hold on them.
@ashleyashiku4604 2 жыл бұрын
i liked 'portrait of a lady on fire' on Hulu, which i found to be one of the rare depicts of wlw relationships that wasn't hyper-sexualized and seen through a male lens.
@saraayesha501 2 жыл бұрын
‘feel good’ is so criminally underrated!! though there are some elements of queer shame, i’d say the main struggles stem from addiction, trauma and also gender identity- which is also sometimes hit or miss in the media, but this show delivers in a really subtle and life-like way. it’s queer relationship is messy to start with but develops and grows healthier as the show wraps up. overall, it made me want a gf really really reaaally bad lol.
@nazarisreyes6037 2 жыл бұрын
One of my favorite movies of all times is The handmaiden, it has pain but not bc of their sexuality even though they're in a complicated time period
@karenholl2489 2 жыл бұрын
oh boy the entire second half of that movie was wild. one of my fav movies though!
@damntae6540 2 жыл бұрын
me reading the title: so..the media is sadistic-?
@harinder13137 2 жыл бұрын
ooooooh, maybe the media is secretly gay too, why u care so much about their trauma hmmmm, especially queer ppl hmmmmmm???
@damntae6540 2 жыл бұрын
@@harinder13137 "gay ppl! gay ppl everywhere!"
@harinder13137 2 жыл бұрын
@@damntae6540 agreed comrade
@fleurpetals_ 2 жыл бұрын
Pose is my favorite queer TV show, not only I enjoyed watching it every week with my mother, but It got me to learn a little bit of queer history (especially queer black history), both directly from the show and outside of it.
@robinjames5777 2 жыл бұрын
She-ra is such a wonderful show!! If you’re into animated series I really recommend it. It’s available on Netflix :D
@jaydas8976 2 жыл бұрын
That show is so good, I love it so much
@zirarose3029 2 жыл бұрын
Cried , died and revived at the last episode 🤧
@apocalypseready6256 2 жыл бұрын
I feel like people just love the suffering and saviorism of queer people. This is why I _love_ the show/sequel Good Trouble, where Alice’s coming out was painfully relatable to me. My family are extremely Vietnamese Catholic immigrants with a huge cultural barrier. I was terrified to come out to them and that they’d reject me and hate me. But when I came out to my grandparents, they just smiled and said “Okay,” and moved on. It was so relieving, I almost sobbed right then and there. Stories about the pain and injustice gay people experience is important, but it’s equally important to fluffy and light-hearted sitcoms for us. We’re still human beings, and we deserve stories without being exploited for our pain. Our stories don’t have to center around being queer and queer alone.
@maiafielding4290 Жыл бұрын
tokyo godfathers is one of my favourite movies bc hana is an exceptional character who has way more to her than just her transness. the world around her might not always do justice to her identity but at the end of the day she is human and respected and the fact that she is trans influences her character and storyline in a wholesome and endearing way
@niko9603 2 жыл бұрын
Idk i find stories of pain that turn into acceptance rly powerful, especially as a queer person.
Khadija Mbowe
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