That’s so beautiful, May God help me get to this place amen.

What a blessing and so very nice to hear. May you have MANY years of happiness together!❤

Forgot to say, CONGRATULATIONS!!!🌹🌹🌹🥂🥂🥂💫💫💫💍💍💍

Same sis...met mine 5 mos ago, engaged month 4 and married next week...he bought my ring almost 2 mos ago and I had no idea lol! It's so beautiful! Good luck and best wishes and blessings over your marriage that it endure for the long haul.

Ooh em gee, how did you all meet?

This happened to my mom unfortunately. She did everything she was supposed to do, but my father is just weak of character 🤦🏾‍♀️

@@Ceceee21 I'm sorry to hear that. I respect Shumake 100% but I don't think men understand the mixed messages that are being sent to women. We're told (by men) that we can't tell a man he ain't a man because WE aren't men, then turn around and tell us we shouldve known better and that we need to pick better when we believe that they are men. Smh

NAH!!!!

They're lying trying to mislead you and limit your options. Most of the "hoes" I know are all married to wealthy men who adore them. Marriage going strong. They'll choose a hot Sexy woman with a bad attitude ANY DAY over a good, decent, virtuous woman type. Just do what you like.

@@ak-47intelligence75 While I know it's not ALL of them are move like that, there are too many for me to be out here telling any young lady that oversexualizing yourself means you won't marry. Sometimes they do marry, they do have the families and while I'm sure their marriages aren't perfect, neither are some of the ones who ARE NOT oversexualized. Be the best woman you can be and let the chips fall where they may.

In this day and age there are levels to this.... You can be chosen for different reasons.... You can be chosen for love and marriage or chosen to be a good time girl only.

@@lordcron I agree sir. I’m always looking for the good dinner people.

Just good people. Dern auto correct.

Unfortunately I came from a dysfunctional family and I was never taught anything about men and dating it took me years to realize that no matter how nice or attentive you are to a man they will not fall in love with you. A man has to look at you and fall in love. Men are not like women that can learn to love a man, a man can't learn to fall in love with a woman.

I find it to be crazy they play with these girls get they h o e on then want to settle with the same ladies they ignored while on they h o e spree 🤣🤣🤣 an we suppose to choose get him now or later. Why not both

@goddess glow Yeap. I think I’m going to ask Shunake that to elaborate. I’m over that. I can’t tell you how many “ I wish I would have chosen you” dms and messages I gave received after those guys went for the hoes. They washed up, stressed, and got baggage now ( kids). Why should I be ok with taking you back or giving you a chance! Nope!

@@Shemashay yes call me crazy but i wish them well but i love to watch it fall apart cuz i know my heart i be like dodged a bullet. I really feel like people be trying go be helpful with this information but fact is we females have just adjusted to the habitat its natural we watched moma wash clothes ckean house hold ish down an daddy was still a dog. Now every nody wanna be a bad bish. They say we over sexualized. But i remember liking plan sex and everybody was bi and had multiple partners and doing back door and three somes now its the new norm and people trying to school us how to be our original self. Nah brah im having fun now. Maybe next life time

Im not angry but i am 37....if i couldnt have a man dyring tge best years of my life and his i dont want no burnt out man wit that limp limp falling apart getting sick and old pretending to be picture perfect im good. Ill take my chances being a cugar when im not practicing abstanence 😇...🤣🤣🤣

Yassssss!

My sister has a horrible personality and dresses with her but out and she found a good man. Men just go for what ever they want. I also heard a girl who slept around with everyone in town got wifed up. Also look at megan fox and kim Kardashian they found good men. Men just have their preference.

@@winning3329 Kim Kardashians marriage didn’t even last bc Kanye was cheating on her so how is he a good man? Not to mention all the other mental issues he has and same with MGK. I think your very confused on what a “good man” is. And those girls that are getting wifed up, you gotta look at WHO is wifing them up and the fact that it’s not gonna last

Just an excuse people use to not self improve. And a mindset of someone who wants to give the other person the bare minimum and not making any sacrifices or compromises in a relationship. In other words, a terrible partner.

@@truthbearer7891 I said wtf I said tho and not up for debate!

I run into this problem a lot. Black women in particular have always been hypersexualized as it is. It’s difficult to navigate that in today’s society.

@@Ceceee21 I have too and still do. You could dress in a trash bag and they will still sexualize us.

@@MiniCoop814 yeah it’s frustrating, but those are the ones that are easy to weed out. It becomes difficult when men will commit to making it seem like they are not trying to get one thing from you, to just turn around and leave once you let your guard down. Definitely have to practice discernment and be cautious..

@@Ceceee21 yep, I use to fall for it alot my 20’s but I see through it now. One thing I’ve learned the hard way is to listen to and trust my intuition. As soon as I get an off feeling, I’m out before it even gets that far. I’m also ultra selfish with my body now. Nobody is laying a finger on me without earning it and also without a solid connection. I’m not laying down with anyone I don’t feel safety and security with and, I’m not laying down with anyone who doesn’t care deeply for me; I just can’t.

@@MiniCoop814 yeah I’m definitely still working on that. Sometimes being alone isn’t that bad because it gives you the space to clear your head and learn to love yourself. When you love yourself then allowing just any kind of man to treat you any way won’t happen. I think that trusting your intuition and not allowing just anyone into your body is the best thing you can do.

@@ARS-fn6px that’s the problem right there! These men don’t practice what they preach. Never go by what a person says but always go by their actions. This is especially true when it comes to men.

@@shamekiawalker6358 what's the problem "rigth there"

Exactly!

They want to have fun in their 20s and when they have had enough they want to look for a care taker. They settle for a virtuous woman who will look after them after they are ran through and go 50/50 but were giving the baddies money.

@@kumajoey6031: let the church say "Amen."

He didn’t say “kind of sexy.” A woman can be “kind of sexy” without over sexualizing herself. He’s referring to the women such as “Instagram models,” sexualize videos, body expressively expose and don’t bring anything to the table but their body.

Your comment resonated with me. It may not be the clothes and the manner of dress. When you don't play as a woman, most times the jokers stay away. There are more jokers out there than guys who are serious.

It's not the luck of the draw......just be yourself. It's not about being the "church girl". Hahaha just try not to display so much skin....flattering your figure is not all about tight skimpy clothes. It's about wearing clothes that fit correctly and flatter you, not SHOW your assets.

@@countrylay_d4389 boom. Lots of girls tend to shy from real guys because real guys actually show reality of *cough* love and care.

@@jamestateIII I could agree with that! Some women don't want serious positive men. Some women don't want to build a home and family. They prefer the streets.

Some do listen & fully agree I always felt that way...some of us still have some old fashion views/beliefs...😊😊😊

@@Highlyfavored111 good for you..😍😉

Only if they will listen Dear.

@@obaaAkos02 Many will disregard the message for two reasons #1) Some are brainwashed to think that considering a man in any part of your decision making is oppression and internalized misogny and #2) Most are going to appeal to exceptions. "So and so was modest never got married, so and so is a stripper and got married..." I almost feel like this information has to get to most people between the ages of 12-17 before the indoctrination is complete and they are so obstinant in defending all the lies theyve been told on top of the bitterness from the bad experiences they've had that could have been avoided if they had some good counsel in their adolescence. The concept that immodesty attracts the wrong type of men is something that shouldn't even be controversial to say and was common sense/knowledge just a few decades ago. But it goes to show you how successful the social engineering has been by white supermacists and many black sellouts who helped them sell us this message through entertainment and the miseducation system.

I totally get that. Being conservative definitely is not the one thing that will change every encounter you have with men. Immature men will still cross your path. Alot of things are at play when you meet a potential mate. Most people you meet will not be compatible. I'm just saying that it's hard to get a man to see YOU if all he sees is your body. Outer beauty gets you attention, but it doesn't keep attention and not all attention is good. When you operate in a lustful spirit men that also operate in a lustful spirit will come in droves. Also I have to add that there is a difference between sexy and letting it all hang out.

White Millennial here, and same outcome experience here. :/ Most don't want women like us, til they've ran themselves through, and the partying is done. At that point I don't want them. Too late. Also- to add, I'm slender with curves, small-breasted. Not stick thin, but very slender. I find time after time of experimenting w how I dress that unless I have major upper leg or lower scoopneck neckline top on display with pushup bra, there is zero interest, no looks my way from men. My face is pretty, I try to smile, etc. Just nothing happening.

​@@HSBsoulsurferyou can wear sexy without exposing too much. Sometimes we take the "being modest" thing too far and we start dressing like a nun. Wear something that looks good on you. You can look hot without looking trashy. I dress fashionably, I take care of myself, I really look good in a dress coz I have an hourglass body. So I wear dresses a lot, sexy dresses mind you not revealing and guys ask me out a lot( good guys) and some of them even asked me for marriage. I don't give a second of my time to a player coz I'm not interested in playing around and the right kind of guys see that,they observe you, see what kind of person you are before approaching you. After all they are looking for a serious relationship that leads to marriage not a playmate. Don't listen to these people saying you got to dress trashy to attract a man. It's not true. Yes, you can attract a man dressing like that but he would be the wrong kind of man; the player, the cheater, the liar, the guy who won't commit..etc. So if you are interested in a guy who will waste your time, break your heart,cause you trauma then yes this is the way to get him. But if you are interested in a serious relationship that leads somewhere(preferably marriage), dressing trashy isn't the way to go about it. And be confident in who you are(confidence in anyone is sexy), don't try too much to please people. Just be who you are ( but dress nice😉),Live your life, be happy and the right guy will see you. And I'm sure he will be lucky to have you. Best luck!

And thats a great compliment! 😊

@@AJD7233 same here! I’m pretty conservative and everyone thinks I’m in a serious relationship haha

To who though? These are not the most honorable men that they’re marrying and in the few cases where they do get a good man, it never lasts long.

Thank you

Yes! Do it for yourself because it's the right thing to do, not because you're trying to seek someone else's approval. Lord knows they aren't thinking about their future wife when they're out here slinging peen here, there, and everywhere. And, the funny thing is, I've seen a lot of oversexualized women get married. That's funny how they say it'll never happen, yet I see it happening all the time. The point is, ladies, it's NEVER a good idea to oversexualized yourself, but keep yourself pure because that's what YOU want, not because you think it's what someone else expects of you.

There are people who eat healthy who have untimely deaths. There are those who lock their car/house doors and are still victims of theft. Again I can make a million examples. This is something women especially need to be taught when they are young is to stop using anecdotes as an excuse not to follow sound logic. The point is if you want something in life, it makes logical sense to maximize your chances of getting it within reason. And it's completley unreasonable to think you're going to attract the right type of person being hypersexual. You're literally going to attract all the wrong people at an exponentially higher rate. Furthermore there are all other types of variables why a modest woman didn't get married. Maybe she didn't get serious about marriage until she was near 30 which significantly decreases her chances. Maybe she was too picky and was superficial herself and some guys who would have married her were not attractive enought or "too boring" for her, etc. And again even if it's not a 100% success rate if you do everything right it's completey illogical to not suggest people do things the best way.

@@truthbearer7891 hmmmm sounds like we saying the same thing. Im just saying good women are passed over because of wanting men to start off platonic rather than sexual. I see many of them in 20s to early 30s. The problem of men trying to move into sexual intimacy before any other intimacy seems hard to divert. It seems men definitely want women who look like they will compromise their values. Nobody is talking about the logic of that and that developing platonic relationships might increase the amount of women who you have real interest with. Alot of men are trying to change these kinds of women into something they are not while ignoring the women who have low body counts and bo kids. And vice versa. Meet someone where u are and this isnt an issue.

@@hazel1190s It's no secret that there are men who choose the wrong women. But you're changing the subject. The reality is there are plenty of men who appreciate a modest woman which is rare in this hookup culture. And they are more likely to take that woman serious as a candidate for marriage. Women have to just be honest with themselves and consider the guys they overlooked or whose offers they declined because of superficial reasons.

@@hazel1190s it definitely is hard to navigate as a woman in this generation. A lot of men in my experience just want to have it all. Living in a time of instant gratification, some men just do not have the discipline or the patience to keep things platonic and then gradually grow intimate.. yes sticking to your boundaries as a woman let’s the men who don’t have the best intentions go away, but in my experience, it’s rare that guys are not looking for sex.. I know part of that has to do with the fact that I’m young, but it just feels like I can’t win honestly. If I’m too stable I’m boring, if I try and relax a little it’s the reason why I won’t be picked. So many double-binds exist and it feels impossible to navigate 🤦🏾‍♀️

@@Ceceee21 i definitely see this as a psychic reader. Many relationship reading show the guy rushes into sex and the women compromise their values to meet him when they like him. Afterwards they have issues with building intimacy in other areas with the guy. Usually the men will stay and play for sex and put that work on the women then say its not working out once someone else gets their interest. its deceptive and narcissistic cuz they not valuing the body. Its partly for power and alot of them come from single parent homes where love from a man wasnt shown and they were not given a sense of belonging by their fathers. Its rarer to find men who value women enough to respect their choice to wait. They cant problem solve thru patience. My husband did wait so if you find a guy who will he is going to be a person who knows something about building solid relationships. This is the most important characteristic for me. It shows longsufferring. And they cant be distracted easy.

They are celebrities. We cannot use them as the bar for everyday relationships. They’re operating on a different set of principles. To be honest I think that’s the problem we’re having with our relationships.

@@TheShumakeWay this is part of the problem we face. Too many are looking at these entertainers and wanting what they have when they don't play by the same rules

Sis...you trolling right? We can't be looking up to celebs as our examples in life, like ever..thats a big no no beloved.

@@kdotty1543 No, I am not trolling. It was easier to mention Russell and Devon because they claim to be Christian men. Real Christian men wouldn't have gotten into a serious relationship with women like Ciara and Meagan. Don't get me wrong; I don't like looking at celebrities as a barometer for relationships. However, celebrities who claim to be Christians should not be seen in the same light as regular celebrities. Russell and Devon knew what kind of women Ciara and Meagan were, yet these men were thinking with their nether regions (thinking with the wrong head).

@@donnamcintosh2109 some men just don't know how to pick good women. I can't believe someone married my sister who is a narcissist and dirty and sluty cause she walks around in short shorts.

Women judge men too, based on money looks and overall performance. Perpetuate ignorance? What doesn't he know? Ignorant is not knowing something ma'am. Like he said stay the way you are, you don't have to listen. However when a good man comes along and see the great that you have in you, you both will hold each other to new standards. Cultural values are based on groups because culture is the behavior of regions states or countries. Culturally people are attracted to looks yes....subjectively men and women are attracted to different and other things as he stated. Men Players focus on the booty and the female players the front package and maybe six pack abs. Do you though....keep attracting the same guys. You may get tired and want something better than that. I hope the best for you ma'am.

He’s not regurgitating any ignorance, he’s just pointing out that being sexually promiscuous is not going to secure you a spouse. A lot of women believe this to be true, and he’s just acknowledging that this is a misconception.

The only ignorance is on the part of those who immaturely try to promote hypersexuality and pretend that it's empowering. It is literally appealing to the carnal mind. It's completely illogical to lead with sexual attention and not think you're going to attract the majority of guys who want you for that type of energy. We are rational creatures to a certain extent but biology also prevails. If I told you it was cultural the role that men play and I came to you with a bunch of feminine energy you would put me in a category whether if you wanted to or not. It's biologically unattractive for your woman to be immodest. And quite frankly the reason why most are motivated to do so especially in a relationship are for narcissistic reasons.

I was judged for being broke in the late 1980's early 90's. I had a lot of love but was just getting my life started. Not one woman wanted me because as they said, I couldn't do anything for them. Here I was a good man with lots of love and no I couldn't put them in cars but I had my own place and could take them out to dinner and a movie but that wasn't enough! Fast forward to now where I had to build this Kingdom all by myself. Now I have them coming out of the woodwork telling me how much they want to be married.... See... When I wanted to be married they didn't want me. now that I have 3 houses and a nice job now they want me. They didn't want to grow with me. Fight for this with me, they wanted to wait until I got it first.... Now I'm comfortable being single! I've built paradise and don't care to share it! For what?! So she can walk off with half of something she never built?! I don't think so.... I'm not having it. Today's women are liberated and can build their own Queendoms. Like you said, You don't need no man....

@@lordcron lol get with someone, sign prenups, and have foundation of friendship for your relationship. I think most ‘regular, non- celebrity women’ these days don’t care about your money we have our own. I’m a millennial and we mostly just want companionship and fun.

They’re playing in the devils playground

The devil is the side of us we feed every day. We embody God or the devil in our ways. It's whatever we choose. Some ppl think evil is pretending u want monogamy and marriage when u only want a personal slave to be there while u play around however u want in the closet. Open honesty about who and what we are (polyamorous beings) keeps things godly and true. Ppl be married to u being jealous of ur relationship with ur son or mom. There's enough love to go around

You just dont want to receive the message 🤣

You have the option to speed up the playback. Set it to 1.25x

Calming to some in this world where everyone talks a million words per minute

@@truthbearer7891 Kimberly is single...lmao!