Dr. K Meets the Raid Boss | Self-Esteem & Beating Yourself Up

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Күн бұрын

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▼ Timestamps ▼
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In today's interview, Dr. K finally meets his match. Just like in video games, Dr. K peers into the dark mirror, only to discover the final raid boss in the form of an 18 year old Korean girl with bunny ears.
The way to increase self-worth is by understanding that your identity and self-worth is based on the reflection of people around you, and then change it to be based on yourself in isolation, not in relation to anyone else. Give yourself a sense of worth and identity based on yourself. Accept who you are, where you are and then play your game.
00:00:00 Coaching Blurb
00:01:21 Introduction
00:05:44 Feeling Like a Burden, Not Liking Your Appearance
00:17:36 History of Self-Hatred, Depression, and Anxiety
00:30:33 Acting in Spite of Low Self-Esteem, Middle School Stories
00:48:11 Dr. K on Anxiety, and Origins of Feeling Like a Burden
01:05:55 Family Drama, Therapy Experience
01:18:36 Analyzing Childhood Behavior
01:35:17 Forgiving Yourself for Who You Are
01:48:29 Meditation
DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provided medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved on are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
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#mentalhealth #selfesteem #drk

Пікірлер: 1 100

@Mini-gg1ul 3 жыл бұрын

Hey guys this is Mini! I just wanted to say thank you so much for the overwhelmingly nice comments and feedback. It's really nice to hear that my story helped people out there. Also, if Dr.K is seeing this by any miraculous chance, I wanted to thank Dr.K for having me on the interview as well. You're so cool Dr.K :D This is going to be a long comment, but I just wanted to clarify a few things that I said on stream. 1. I do have a door, and the long curtain thing is just covering a long window I have next to the door. Maybe I'll change the curtains to pink ones in the future :3 2. I don't stream, but I'm thinking about it. Maybe in the future? who knows :P 3. I was extremely nervous this interview, so if I say um or kinda a lot that's just my defense mechanisms kicking in. 5. As for what I said about my brother, all I can say is that we have a complicated relationship. I care about him and love him, but he's done some pretty terrible things to me in the past that I'm still trying to heal from. After years of villainizing him, I started to realize only this year that he's just human and didn't mean to intentionally hurt me. I'm going to try to make amends with him as much as I can, and try to move on from the hurtful past and focus on building a better relationship with him. I don't really want him gone. I just wanted the pain to be gone, and I'm glad Dr.K has helped me realize that. As for how he's doing, I can't speak in place for my brother. But I convinced my parents to get him therapy help four years ago (which he still has today) and he now has a community around him that he feels as though accepts him more. And that's all I can ask for of him. 6. I love my parents. It may not seem like it from the way I talk about them in the video, but they genuinely care about my brother and me. They genuinely care for our dreams, and does everything they can to support our passions. They helped us get mental help when I requested for it, and slowly came to realize that we really needed it. My parents have said hurtful things to both me and my brother that we are still trying to heal from. I can't deny that. But what I can do is acknowledge it, try to understand, heal from it and forgive on my own terms. I hope that you guys can see that they are not the villains. They have their own hurt and their own stories, too, and was just trying their best. That's all. Whoever's reading this, I hope that you have a wonderful and healing day :) Signed, Raid Boss Mini

@SilverShadow02 3 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you're making progress and seeing the good in your life and appreciating that. Keep on keeping on. :D

@ichaeyoung639 3 жыл бұрын

I know this might be personal but let us follow you on social media!!! You are so awesome

@lanolol 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for telling your story! You are super brave and it helped me :)

@shinyduck258 3 жыл бұрын

Im sorry i am that person but your list goes from 3 to 5

@shinyduck258 3 жыл бұрын

@@Chocolateiro xd

@diegowushu 3 жыл бұрын

*Mini uses "can I think for a second"* Dr. K: I have been bested at my own game

@91722854 2 жыл бұрын

@@Llopside regardless, Norman Osborn is dead and he won't be paying any of the rent for Peter, with the damn door fixed or not, neither would Dr K pay for the rent

@cosmoreverb3943 Жыл бұрын

"You dare to use my own spells against me, Potter?"

@dontforgettonerfthepig3322 7 ай бұрын

@@91722854 you sure did put some dirt in his eyes

@evanpeterjones 3 жыл бұрын

47:40 Mini: "Mom, I'm in a class!" Dr K: *smiles uncontrollably*

@rrralpop157 3 жыл бұрын

"cLaSs" *both laughs"

@KiwiOnTheTube 2 жыл бұрын

I related to her too closely in that moment, I've had many moments like that where it is much easier to come up with a lie about what you're doing than it is to explain it to your parents.

@ragemachinist 2 жыл бұрын

Her smug "I'm a pro at this" eyebrow wiggle right after was just perfect.

@burdenernie6050 2 жыл бұрын

Dr K's mom is also in the next room.

@kurosan0079 2 жыл бұрын

Tbf, it does feel like a class sometimes. So it wasn't a total lie.

@mpbroxd5129 3 жыл бұрын

1:35:49 Dr. K: "I had a thought about a unicorn..." *looks surprised* Dr. K: "...that doesn't make the unicorn real." *looks a little sad*

@ryan._.6417 3 жыл бұрын

aww

@embrace7052 2 жыл бұрын

Ikr that was adorable hahaha

@xnyu254 2 жыл бұрын

(づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

@jletsgoo 2 жыл бұрын

🤧

@pisscvre69 2 жыл бұрын

doctor k is a replicant confirmed, thats why hes always on his a game burning twice as bright

@mrloboto 3 жыл бұрын

The more she opened up the funnier she became. What a charming smartass she is, best of luck to her.

@Xenonia Жыл бұрын

Right? Also that moment at 1:31:23 felt really good to watch to me. Just her little like "finger guns" look. She sounds lovely to be around, and I hope she's walkin' her good path

@hirsutuscanis Жыл бұрын

The more she opened up the phonier she became.

@Charleswynne 3 жыл бұрын

Oh man, I am so hype for this one. Something about interviews with non streamers feels a lot more exciting. Streamers have achieved something, whereas many of us in the comments feel like we haven't. Kinda helps with the whole "Yeah but this guy/gal is better than me" thing our brains like to do.

@theace1543 3 жыл бұрын

Agreed, I only watch viewer interviews. Streamers are pretty unrelatable.

@CandC3199 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah, i can see why you think that. Altough the ironic thing is that many streamers don't feel they have achieved something.

@xilw3r 3 жыл бұрын

Damn true. Its hard to relate to people who are so far up above you on a social/achievement level, that you basically dont even exist in comparison. One tends to automatically dismiss issues of those better off than oneself.

@sdw-hv5ko 3 жыл бұрын

I also tend to relate more to non-streamers, but I do think it's valuable to have streamers on. They may be famous but they're just people, and most of their issues are actually pretty relatable I find. I think having a mix of streamers and non-streamers is the way to go

@lunaf4247 3 жыл бұрын

its because famous streamers are like very rich. of course they still stuggle with mental health but its different compared with random people

@entropyfun 3 жыл бұрын

I'm a people and this isn't burdening me, it's helping me.

@mikafizz1022 2 жыл бұрын

How are you doing? Your comment stood out to me and it's been a year since you said this. I'm glad these videos could help you!! ♡♡

@entropyfun 2 жыл бұрын

@@mikafizz1022 Thanks for asking. I'm fine. My comment was meant to reassure the guest

@user-cy8jy8yb4l 7 ай бұрын

@@entropyfun hey its also been a year, how u doing? hope ur doing well

@HawtLS 4 ай бұрын

@@entropyfunhey it’s been like 3 years or something. I have no reason to be suspicious of your well-being, but others were asking about it and I wanted to fit in. How u doin bud?

@anzolomyer4584 3 жыл бұрын

Please more non-streamer videos. Big fan of the earlier videos-like that one British guy who claimed to be an “incel,” but he wasn’t. Or that one intense brilliant big dude who was an over eater, and he was depressed. Great stuff.

@sonny3351 3 жыл бұрын

xyzxy abcs big agree. I think a lot of streamers have the same sort of problems and talk about the same streamer related stuff. Nobody with a reserved shy personality like Minnie here would ever become a streamer and there’s something special about that.

@stickdude566 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah I enjoy the non-streamer videos a lot more, but I understand the point of the streamer videos. Talking with popular streamers is a good way for Dr K to expose his content to a wider audience. Good thing too, because that means more and more people can get help with whatever they're dealing with. Maybe we'll see a Trainwreckstv fan, who only learned about Dr K a week or so ago because of their talk, on Dr K's stream sometime in the future. Who knows

@bbbbbbb51 3 жыл бұрын

@@stickdude566 the streamer videos get a ton more views, so you have a point. Personally, I can't make it through the vast majority of them. I heavily prefer the videos with regular people.

@WingAFK 3 жыл бұрын

@@stickdude566 The Sky, Destiny and Charlie videos are literally the reason im here. They were all great vids but the non-streamer ones are the ones I feel i can actually get the most "AOE" from.

@sonny3351 3 жыл бұрын

stickdude566 I agree!

@MyAznMuzik 3 жыл бұрын

As another Asian with mental problems in most Asian cultures we are taught to not bring shame or embarrassment to ourselves our family and to mind our own business and not be a burden to ourselves or others. You can see her smile when she feels discomfort because it's a mask that we're okay when we aren't. Most of our parents are immigrants to this country and had never considered mental health because they had to start from scratch and survive with language barriers. Me and my siblings have a hard time communicating with my parents even till this day in our 20's and 30's. We are taught to value family and friends but at the cost of molding our own identity.

@alaya3322 3 жыл бұрын

That makes sense, I've also found this is a big issue within the black community. The general consensus is just hide your feelings cause everyone's in pain

@revivalrivaille469 3 жыл бұрын

@@shun3716 nice punpun propic

@type_Kizuna 3 жыл бұрын

My mom still thinks that if you go to a psychiatrist then you're a crazy person (on a schizophrenic level or something idk).

@Userhandle7384 3 жыл бұрын

Truth.

@KiwiOnTheTube 2 жыл бұрын

Same issue in first generation Hispanic immigrants. Although the cultural mechanisms are quite different, it is all too similar growing up with parents who were migrants from Latin America or other countries in that region. Now that I am an adult, I'm learning how to dismantle the mask that I had to wear all my life and allow my true self to show. Mental health was not something they thought of as a priority issue... family, alcohol, and hard work is all you need in life apparently.

@wanderingrandomer 3 жыл бұрын

The 'wanting a therapist to tell you what's wrong with you' is very true. It's frustrating sometimes when they are all "what do YOU think is wrong?" and it's like "Well, if I knew that I'd fix it myself, wouldn't I? You're the professional here, not me. Spill the beans!"

@agent5657 2 жыл бұрын

THIS ^

@MeMyself_andAI 2 жыл бұрын

How do you think the therapist will find out whats wrong with you without asking questions 😐

@DartNoobo Жыл бұрын

@@MeMyself_andAI ıt gets frustratıng when there ıs ONLY questıons. We also wants some directions

@MeMyself_andAI Жыл бұрын

@@DartNoobo The questions are designed to take you to your own epiphanies, because lessons youve taught yourself through self actualization are proven to be considerably more effective than the orders or instructions of therapists. Therapists are there to guide you to a healthier mentality through the socratic method, not tell you what to do. Every person is different, and nobody can fix you except yourself.

@WASDLeftClick Жыл бұрын

@Dale Jumpshot Jr. While all that is true, it doesn’t make it easy to accept or even something I like. My mind rails against reality pretty often, becoming angry that things are the way they are and that there’s no real way to change it. Unfair and extremely infuriating.

@colby3680 3 жыл бұрын

" I never thought my evil doppelganger would be an 18 year old korean girl wearing bunny ears" XD

@nietMishka 3 жыл бұрын

@c a 1:46:13

@vangogh2486 2 жыл бұрын

he's bullying the grill xdxdxdxd

@sanatatic 2 жыл бұрын

*cat ears

@hirsutuscanis Жыл бұрын

How in any way is she his doppleganger tho? It's easy to throw a load of words together then smile like you're proud of your big sentence at the end but sometimes it needs to make sense.

@tengahhidup 8 ай бұрын

@@hirsutuscanis i assume she was in a state where dr. K was in his early 20s

@fightwatcherspro 3 жыл бұрын

I swear it feels like every single video I get is targeted specifically at me. It feels like my mental health stock has been rising ever since I discovered Dr. K. Long story short I grew up in a family of 7 as the youngest, with the third youngest member of my family being severely autistic. My childhood was very rough and I had no choice in that, but I have the choice to get better. These videos and twitch streams have helped me immensely and I could not be more grateful.

@Cosmoho 3 жыл бұрын

To add, if I may, let it also be comforting that human suffering at its core is not complex or exclusive. Most of us share the same pains and fears. We were just exposed to different situations and circumstances. I wish you all the best during your journey of healing.

@fightwatcherspro 3 жыл бұрын

@@Cosmoho Thanks I appreciate it! It really does seem like despite the differences in experiences we all have, we all break in the same ways. Almost like all humans share the same fault lines but experience different types of earthquakes.

@teakwondoughnut 3 жыл бұрын

Can’t offer help but I can send you my love :) keep living your best life

@wowandrss 3 жыл бұрын

How many problems do you have that EVERY SINGLE VIDEO is @you?? That really sucks dude, i'm sorry.

@ipklan2 3 жыл бұрын

I was similar... youngest of 5 kids but we also did foster caring of up to 7-8 children who came from messed up families and had many troubles of their own. I haven't watched the video, am doing today, but I get you, I've been finding common traits in many Dr K videos, and each time its like shining a part on myself I had forgotten or threw away...

@themothman3726 3 жыл бұрын

Dr. K highlights the issue that I have with a lot of therapists. Most therapist's that I've worked with don't challenge me, they lightly try to guide me along avoiding big words and complexity. When I first found this channel I had this realization, it was a real "oh shit I understand this language".

@kaisawhatever4443 2 жыл бұрын

Because Dr K is NOT doing therapy ironically

@josefanon8504 2 жыл бұрын

its wonderful how good dr k is at choosing the right words and asking the important questions.

@tannerhagen774 Жыл бұрын

Therapist do at times challenge, but it’s a delicate dance. His videos are akin to those investing channels “This is not financial advice” followed by financial advice. Although Dr.K is extremely fast in his approach (which honestly he’s very talented and incredibly impressive) you would not normally undertake that in session as it’s more of a therapist following/guiding rather than leading. In fact I’d imagine the element of “this isn’t really therapy” fosters or at the very least favors this increase in pace. There’s pros and cons to each.

@bkh1324 Жыл бұрын

I'm curious after having this realization have you spoken to your therapist and kind of gave them a green light to challenge you more?

@stendaalcartography3436 3 жыл бұрын

I'm Korean and I definitely agree. Mental health in my culture is abysmal. You're often looked upon as a criminal or freak for being depressed. No wonder we're one of the highest alcoholic country in the whole world.

@seeker7615 3 жыл бұрын

Yea man definitely

@Dasaltwarrior 3 жыл бұрын

It honestly reminds me of hanging out with older family members, who were VERY old school catholic. I was lucky enough to escape it in my teens, but boy do I get where she's coming from on a lot of this stuff.

@sanatatic 2 жыл бұрын

A lot of Asian cultures try to bury mental illness and pretend it doesn't exist. As an Anglo Iranian growing up in a mostly white school I had a lot of the same experiences as Mini and ended up the same way for a long time. I wish I had therapists like Dr K when I was her age. Inb4 Iran isn't Asian - bullshit, it's part of the Orient and Asia Minor.

@genericname6167 2 жыл бұрын

I can relate, I'm from Chile and here mental health is not even a common concept the normal people aren't educated to even know their emotion, there is a paper talking about how how men around 35+ yo only knew two emotion, anger and sadness principally which is pretty worrying

@Fuchsia_tude 2 жыл бұрын

@@genericname6167 Honestly that sounds better than the average man here in the US, who is allowed to express no emotion except anger.

@AS-or6bn 3 жыл бұрын

I appreciate this more than millionaire streamers right now tbh

@rainworldfan7757 3 жыл бұрын

👏PREACH 👏

@rubik9219 3 жыл бұрын

Because money = happiness right?

@Ailwuful 3 жыл бұрын

I don't get your comment, what's special about millionaire streamers?

@seaks368 3 жыл бұрын

You could be making a good point if you expanded on it more. Otherwise it just sounds like you're being spiteful.

@AS-or6bn 3 жыл бұрын

@@seaks368 I liked watching this video more than I expected. Not looking to make any fancy points here, it was a simple sentence

@vsalbuq 3 жыл бұрын

58:32 - "I earned my first paycheck at the age of 32" That was very surprising.

@leosabat4636 3 жыл бұрын

dam... holy shit didnt spec that

@Kvh47 3 жыл бұрын

How did she survive?

@vsalbuq 3 жыл бұрын

@@Kvh47 It was Dr. K who said it. She is just 18 years old

@bduddas7015 3 жыл бұрын

@@Kvh47 she? drk said it

@Xtenz01 3 жыл бұрын

well , when you go be a monk , and then you come back to do ten years of medical training off course he'll be 32yo , how is that surprising ? regular doctor get their first real paycheck around 28

@SusejFTW 3 жыл бұрын

"No no no, I shouldn't be bleeding" - Dr K's metaphor game is so great.

@someperson6053 3 жыл бұрын

When the Doc refers to her as a child, and she says: "But I'm 18", that was just about the most adorable thing I've ever heard.

@Swurrie 3 жыл бұрын

I knooooow :D

@r011ing_thunder6 3 жыл бұрын

When?

@someperson6053 3 жыл бұрын

@@r011ing_thunder6 around 58:08

@amateruss 2 жыл бұрын

Heard that FBI? She's 18...

@josefanon8504 2 жыл бұрын

I'm 25 and maybe I'll feel like an adult before I turn 30

@marcelovasquez7578 3 жыл бұрын

is it normal that I can't stop watching these interviews? I find them so educative

@Muskar2 3 жыл бұрын

I can't stop either. And I think that if you feel like it's something you need, that's all you need to know. You're good enough as you are. You need what you need, and you'll be more yourself the more you work on yourself, and that's in the best interest of everyone, because you'll be happier and have more energy to make other people happier. So you're doing the right thing for everyone by doing that. That's a sign of a good person, in my book. "Normal" can go eat some fudge.

@pisscvre69 2 жыл бұрын

its free *THERAPY* okay not therapy but theraputic skills

@josefanon8504 2 жыл бұрын

just shows whats missing in our lives

@quantumenergy3334 2 жыл бұрын

Same 🙋🏼‍♀️

@ADMOSUS Жыл бұрын

it programs me to ask myself the right questions so i can work through similar stuff on my own. It's like having these interviews lets me build up a lil dr k in my head to ask me the right thing when im stuck in my own head

@ariepranasakti6372 3 жыл бұрын

When she said she want his brother gone, it really makes me respect her because of that honesty

@lukschloss4688 3 жыл бұрын

all love x

@sadew1232 3 жыл бұрын

Simp

@Michael-lc8yl 3 жыл бұрын

Eh. She ignored her first love because of homophobia, fell in love with a second girl who was a total bitch, then blamed her brother for all this. Not too admirable.

@Michael-lc8yl 3 жыл бұрын

But she's only eighteen. A lot of people are shitheads at eighteen.

@End-Me-Plz 3 жыл бұрын

@@Michael-lc8yl @Michael i agree but i respect her honesty about it and seems to want to change at the very least

@sethkowitz7431 3 жыл бұрын

The brother seems to have the worst of it in my opinion... bullied his whole life entire family hates him.. That is rough..

@Comand94 3 жыл бұрын

Looks like he was deemed to be the black sheep from his youngest years. If anyone deserves a pass for their upbringing, he definitely does. The parents did a poor job with him, sure, the culture there is what it is, but that doesn't change anything in my eyes. Children are what they are and they deserve better adults to guide them through life than most get.

@user-xs4ix5ur3e 3 жыл бұрын

Man, I felt heartbroken when she said if something could magically disappear from her life she would choose the brother. I felt even more shitty when I sort of understand why she chose him. Most of my insecurities stem from my siblings' success, but I feel like without them I wouldn't be here commenting. We supported each other to the fullest, even if we had a lot of differences. I think that's one of the reason the siblings didn't overcome their problems, because they didn't stick together but they became even more distant, to the point of not talking to each other!

@vtheory7531 Жыл бұрын

@@user-xs4ix5ur3e I also understand (and felt pretty guilty) when she chose to get rid of the brother. I could relate in a way. Sometimes when a sibling is acting out and you are the 'good kid', the parents spend a lot of attention on the problematic sibling and end up neglecting you. Any needs you have was ignored because your parents didn't have any more mental capacity to deal with you. Doesn't help as well if your sibling bullies you. If you tell your parents about it they will scold the sibling, giving him another source of attention. Bullying you gives him more attention so he does it more and you suffer more because of it. And as you grow up you start hating or fearing your sibling, and your relationship with your parents becomes dysfunctional because they see you as the 'good' kid which pressures you to hide anything that bothers you so you don't break that image. Just a crappy situation all around. For me personally, nowadays I know what my brother's story is and I've forgiven him for his bullying in the past. I have lingering awkwardness and fear when in his presence (because back then his behaviour had been unpredictable and he was never warm, so my brain perceives him as a danger), but I'm trying to get over that now and have at least a civil relationship with him.

@user-xs4ix5ur3e 11 ай бұрын

@@blub-tf6rt To be honest, after a lot of 'soul-searching' I found out why I was extremely jealous of both my siblings. It was the attention they had from my parents, even though both of them where extremely difficult and problematic as children and I was trying to do everything perfectly, it was them that got their attention. My father favored my older sister, while my mother favored my younger brother. The reality is, I was the most successful out of both of them, back then and as we speak. They just were more charismatic, while I became distant and bitter because of my jealousy. I'll never get over it, I still have a lot of issues to fix, but it doesn't bother me anymore. I really love my siblings and wouldn't change them for the world. I phrased that pretty poorly in my original comment, my bad!

@DanielSMV805 6 ай бұрын

It really hit me because I relate to the brother in a way despite not hearing the story from him. He probably felt entirely alone in the world. I hope he's doing okay

@12tinycorgis15 3 жыл бұрын

Dr K gets this smile on his face that looks like he's solving a really difficult puzzle. That sounds sort of detached but it's like this weird, cool, empathetic satisfaction from seeing someone figure things out.

@josefanon8504 2 жыл бұрын

good observation :) he is having fun doing what he is doing and thats why he is so damn good at it.

@hirsutuscanis Жыл бұрын

I think it comes across as a bit patronising at times, especially when he asks rhetorical questions then sits there widening his eyes pressing for a pointless answer that nobody needed to hear that makes the guest feel stupid.

@ilmstreams Жыл бұрын

I just keep watching Dr. K's videos... I am a therapist myself, but I just sit here and cry and cry and cry at these videos. It's like I feel like I am unworthy of his immense intelligence, even though I have a master of science degree and *an entire decade* of clinical experience treating my own patients. I think it's because my own depression remains unresolved. Anyway, here I am, 2+ years late to the party, and I'm bawling my eyes out at videos like this one. You're an amazing clinician, Dr. K. Thank you so much for the human being that you are. You're changing so many lives. Bless.

@hirsutuscanis Жыл бұрын

Sounds like you ought to change what you do for money, or at least stop pretending to be a therapist. You cannot really be helping anyone if you "cry and cry and cry" about your own feeling of inadequacy when you see Dr.K, who hasn't been practicing long himself. Seems about right, there are so many 'therapists' i see i think damn, why are you getting paid all this public funding to ask stupid, lazy questions then get stupid answers and go round in circles for ever. Sounds like all that time at college and University could have been better spent elsewhere to me.

@MISNM0 Жыл бұрын

Your post is amazing. 💛

@wredmatic Жыл бұрын

I hope you didn't take the first reply to your post to heart. I'm not sure if you're any good as a therapist, but there sure as hell isn't anything in your post that suggests you're not. I am a therapist too and I feel emotional in response to these videos as well, so you're not alone.

@wredmatic 11 ай бұрын

@@blub-tf6rt sounds like you've had some personal experience with therapists getting into the field for the wrong reason. If so, I'm sorry to hear that. It is a problem. If you're really just concerned about my patients, I can assure you, they're doing fine

@lukefisch9483 4 ай бұрын

Hey, it’s been a while. The core message from one of these videos: no amount of understanding human suffering by understanding the pain u went through will make what happened to u okay. Which basically in short, not shifting locus of control, we can all focus on what we can change and better our lives but yeah like, get completely better meet all ur needs, that’s when u model to treat other people better than u were tested. You do this by maximizing ur joy and satisfaction and treating urself with the mentality that u can maximize ur joy in ur life and others may see and can do the same for themselves

@lilijagaming 3 жыл бұрын

Oh my, when the part about parents hating the brother started emotions started coming. My parents didn't take care of my emotional needs when I was growing up cause they were too focused on themselves and their failed relationship. Each time I hear about parents acting this way towards their children it hurts. I also want to really hug a person saying those things just like I needed those emotional hugs and still on occasion it's difficult to feed that need. Also her trying to fix her family... oh my... this was so me for most of my life. My whole family should be in therapy but I am the only person who actually went.

@miyalys 3 жыл бұрын

Hugs! (If you want them.) And I felt the same inclination watching the interview. Also sorry to hear you can relate to her story.

@josefanon8504 2 жыл бұрын

my whole family needs therapy and I'm the only one who went and still goes. same. I'm a guy in his mid 20s and honestly its so hard to get the hugs I need. No clue where to get them especially with Covid these days. feelsbadman

@pennclick 3 жыл бұрын

I hope it doesn't come across as rude for me to say this but WOW her parents did a number on her. So much of our psychological problems later in life manifest themselves from childhood and how we're treated by our caretakers.

@mpbroxd5129 3 жыл бұрын

yeah, that is true, but does that mean they're bad people? if feel like her parents tried their best in their specific situation. Did they do things wrong? Most certainly yes, could they have done a better job? I think so. does that mean they're bad people? No, at least I don't think so. Now if they did it with the intention of hurting/damaging their daughter then, yes, they are bad people but I don't think that is the case.

@footwinner1 3 жыл бұрын

Look up the poem "This Be the Verse" by Philip Larkin. Summarizes things with parents.

@Userhandle7384 3 жыл бұрын

@@footwinner1 haha our family loves this one

@pebblebrookbooks4852 3 жыл бұрын

Some rude statements are also true.

@embrace7052 2 жыл бұрын

Exactly my thought

@HimawariCh 3 жыл бұрын

@1:26:10 "If we don't accept responsibility for our situation, we also have no power to change it." This is something that took me a long time to learn, and I'm glad to hear Dr. K say it.

@alexandramaclachlan7597 3 жыл бұрын

I'm so proud of Mini, this was SUCH an important stream. I really would love a follow up and to check in with how she's feeling if she feels safe & comfortable sharing with us again xoxo

@icywinterof88 3 жыл бұрын

It's so interesting because you can see that when Mini lets herself come through, you can see that she actually has a really amazing sense of humor. It is so great to see that kind of thing. I really am hopeful for her.

@Eliqueme 3 жыл бұрын

I feel like once everyone can experience Dr.K, They are able to try again. *The hope and inspiration* that Is Dr.K is so much _more valuable_ than anyone thinks! And I'm glad of that

@Maelthorn1337 3 жыл бұрын

... How do you do bold and italics? O:

@Eliqueme 3 жыл бұрын

@@Maelthorn1337 You put the special characters on both sides of your words. * *Bold* _ _Italics_ - -Strikethrough-

@Eliqueme 3 жыл бұрын

@@Maelthorn1337 *_-You can put all together too-_*

@Maelthorn1337 3 жыл бұрын

@@Eliqueme _Wow_. That's *fantastic*, thank you. :D

@Maelthorn1337 3 жыл бұрын

... It didn't work.

@jacobmorres9817 3 жыл бұрын

the comments on Dr.K's videos are like NO OTHER. compassion, love and no judgement. what is this? this is different. on most youtube videos, you can find condemning of some sort. but dr.k's? just unconditional compassion. what a sight to see. i love it and am grateful for this community

@monah_art Жыл бұрын

>no judgement You just missed these comments.

@MISNM0 Жыл бұрын

Also check out Crappy Childhood Fairy (Anna Runkle). She does NOT have medical credentials but is also amazing.

@VicarAmelias 3 жыл бұрын

I feel really bad for her but most of all hearing this story I can't help but feel poor brother. Who in the world is there for him?

@SuperLotus 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah. I feel like Dr. K was too easy to give a pass to her parents. They sound like the type who only like their children if they're doing good things. IDC if it's Asian culture. They don't get a pass in my book.

@kankam3828 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah I was thinking your brother isn't the problem, your parents are.

@numanumame 3 жыл бұрын

@@SuperLotus Can you really blame the parents if that's how they learned how to live their life? Immigrating from one place to another with very different cultures, people will find it hard to change what they learned and believed. There are no perfect parents and it sounds like they did their best. Good news is that their children have a choice now.

@turu3498 3 жыл бұрын

SuperLotus I definitely feel for the brother, sucks and just hurts to hear. I think Dr. K is careful about not using words as “bad” in these circumstances as his lens is probably considering a lot of aspects. Making a “villain” might not be too helpful. Not arguing with you though, just speculating.

@DangerSmoog 3 жыл бұрын

@@numanumame "Can you really blame the parents if that's how they learned how to live their life?" "Good news is that their children have a choice now." these two statements conflict with each other in my opinion. Isn't that last thing you said the exact reason people don't want to excuse the behavior? You can learn a way of acting by someone else but in the end "Their children have a choice now". Their parents were the children at one point. All seems very circular but the crux of what he said is true. TL;DR can you blame the parents? Yes, and often times that's exactly who to blame. We just need to make sure "blame" isn't just turning them into a villain. As that's not very helpful.

@darialyphia 3 жыл бұрын

Dr.K is easily the most based person I have seen in my life

@bonka2209 3 жыл бұрын

facts

@kiaraetsuko3523 3 жыл бұрын

Almost every person in Dr. K's videos I can relate to it's kinda scary lmao maybe I should go see a therapist or something too

@blackstream2572 3 жыл бұрын

I think we're all just more alike than we realize. Not that it should stop you from seeing a therapist. It just probably means most of us should probably be seeing one lol

@Much_Ado 3 жыл бұрын

@@blackstream2572 It's something I've kinda seen Dr. K mention in a couple of videos, when he talks about how so many of us aren't trained to deal with our emotions during the formative years when it would be easiest for us to learn (or maybe i haven't seen him specifically talk about it, maybe i've seen him talk around it, or whatever - not important). So yeah, it makes sense to me that a lot of us can relate to these videos, and I think most of us probably _should_ get some form of help for that.

@VerbalLearning 3 жыл бұрын

At around the 1 hour and 40 minute mark and 'till the end she was showing signs of confidence, pride and sass and it suits her.

@JuiceTubes 3 жыл бұрын

This is how to “meet someone where they’re at”

@guillemunoz5671 3 жыл бұрын

She is too powerful for us mortals, at last a true raid boss.

@Moose92411 2 жыл бұрын

Just in the first five minutes, this man has completely disarmed this poor girl’s instinct to accept blame for something that she didn’t do wrong. He’s just awesome to watch and listen to.

@stephenpatterson2860 3 жыл бұрын

This was so so wholesome and uplifting. And my goodness was it impactful to hear the things he was saying about like, how she had grown comfortable with feeling like garbage, to the point where being appreciated and being told she was good made her physically uncomfortable. I get the same way. I feel so crappy about myself sometimes that I'm borderline incapable of graciously accepting a compliment. Along the same lines too, it's incredibly difficult for me to ask for help when I need it. I think it's a combination of feeling like crap myself, as well as my own pride, wanting to do things myself, and I think it's also somewhat a learned behavior from my dad, who's a very independent person.

@ravenjoker254 3 жыл бұрын

That last section hit so hard... You hear you need to accept yourself said a lot, but I think this may have been the first time I've heard you need to forgive yourself. And then it just got better and better. I'm glad this channel exists, it shows no one is truly alone in their struggles, even if they're not one to one. I'm glad I could learn how not to feel like a burden along with Minnie. If Minnie's reading this by some miracle chance btw - best of luck do you, I know things'll get better and I hope you keep on thriving :)

@inkarnator7717 3 жыл бұрын

She seems like a sweet and kind person. We are happy to have you in our community :)

@Blanks1642 3 жыл бұрын

i watch your videos most of the time as i go to bed because hearing your advice or conversations on certain topics give me enough peace mentally to finally sleep and stop thinking about everything. usually i fall asleep before the end but sometimes i go back later and listen to the rest and im glad i came back to this one. The last 30-45 mins of this i was just in awe at how i could relate even though the connections were not the same thing they were the same feelings.

@pkmncq 3 жыл бұрын

She is by far my favorite person who has been on here

@TG47GRG 3 жыл бұрын

Why? Edit: im just curious

@mangobodybutter 3 жыл бұрын

One of my favorite interviews to date! If she's willing, it would be cool to have a follow-up interview with her some time in the future :) Round 2 of the Raid Boss

@neugabi 3 жыл бұрын

She is strong. I have similar issues and when I went to my sessions I cant stop tearing up talking about those issues. You are so strong!

@Furiac. 3 жыл бұрын

I love viewer interviews or whatever you would call stuff like this. It's interesting to take a 2 hour peek into someone's life who I know nothing about

@kepeter97 3 жыл бұрын

self acceptance is such an important thing, and yet so many of us seem to struggle with it. Videos that touch on it helped me a lot.

@lukalot_ Жыл бұрын

The description of her brother being hated by her parents and her choice to be the opposite of him in order to be liked by her parents was pretty relatable, I feel like the older sibling who is hated / scapegoated, and I notice that my younger brother has always tried to be the opposite of me. Edit: Ugh the more she describes her brother the more I relate to him.

@lukalot_ Жыл бұрын

oh and now I feel really bad. because she says she wants him gone. and I love my younger sibling. but they don't pay any attention to me. so maybe they feel the same way.

@alexanderh6206 3 жыл бұрын

I learned more about myself from this video than the six years of therepy I've done, got the exact information I was looking for and needed. I can't thank you enough, this has helped me immensely.

@TsukiNoMilkshake 2 жыл бұрын

Watching this a year later and finding it incredibly relatable and inspiring, even when having completely different life stories. Great concepts and insights.

@UNiTLoGiC 3 жыл бұрын

I watch this whole video and I'm so glad I did from start to finish. I honestly wish the best for Mini and Dr. K is fucking awesome. I've also never meditated before so I tried those few techniques at the end of the video and I had the same smile that Mini had when Dr. K said open your eyes. I literally just felt better. It's hard to explain but I just felt more in balance. Definitely going to make that a daily thing going forward.

@WasNeverInDoubt 3 жыл бұрын

Watched this live on stream! Love your content Dr. K, I really related to this one!

@reelrisky1001 3 жыл бұрын

I fucking love this channel. Only found it this year and I wish I had found it ages ago! I feel like I have been able to identify in someway with almost everybody Dr K has spoken with and I also feel like I am able to take something away from every interview that I can or should be using in my own life. Keep it up, from Australia

@kittentoy8971 3 жыл бұрын

There are times you can see her real self shine through and it's great. I hope she gets to the point where she can be that way all the time.

@joebailey8294 3 жыл бұрын

“If we don’t accept responsibility for our situation, we have no power to change it.”

@JohnSmith-ox3gy 3 жыл бұрын

Determinism has implications in both directions.

@elektrotehnik94 2 жыл бұрын

@c a Beliefs on Determinism: 1.) What you become is determined by what other people/ environment imposes on you = other people are responsible, you have absolutely no control over your actions 2.) What you become is determined by what you create/choose from within (free will) = you are responsible, you have all the control over your actions Who decides if your life circumstances improve or not? You AND Other people/ Environment. You is the part of this equation we can control effectively to change other parameters as well. The trick is, the longer we get experience through us acting for our benefit in our life, the more we become the dominating force in how our life plays out, statistically speaking. In other words, for the same level of Me vs. Other people "putting our minds towards influencing my life", I "level up" my influence over my life much faster than Other people/ Environment do.

@TheThirdWizard 3 жыл бұрын

I hope she and her brother would get some teary redemption arc, where they both realize that in this big world, they'd be their only family left.

@daliako3792 3 жыл бұрын

This was so relatable and helpful. I wish you the best, Minnie! You seem like a wonderful person and I believe in you

@pizzatime8917 3 жыл бұрын

Have a good day

@lightbending 3 жыл бұрын

the first four minutes of this has already given me so much insight into how to talk to my girlfriend when she's apologising. thank you SO much i cannot understate how useful this is. i always try to reassure her that it's okay but of course, i should try asking her if she feels like she's done something wrong. that's so much more productive omg

@aidan3834 3 жыл бұрын

Wow, this is the most relatable one to me so far. Thanks for being so brave mini! I would be just as nervous as you to be on here!

@qasidfarooqi9821 3 жыл бұрын

Heartwarming content Dr K, love to see it.

@trischa7173 3 жыл бұрын

This has been way too relatable for me, from parents to going to a school counsler and on. Thank you for opening up about this! You are so much stronger than you think!

@themanhimself436 3 жыл бұрын

Yo Min, you a g. You helped me a lot and I can tell you are a really strong person. Keep bein you and live life.

@ilyarepin9490 3 жыл бұрын

The same day uploads are nice. Keep it up, team.

@aidanpoole3996 3 жыл бұрын

Hearing that she's only 18 really changed my perspective on her stories and my own as a 17 year old going into college in a few months.

@MichaelWilliams-xs1cf Жыл бұрын

Outstanding. Humbling. Personally affecting. Thank you Mini for sharing and opening yourself up to this community.

@sleepydruid100 3 жыл бұрын

Fml the comment from Dr. K about his first paycheck made me cry. (more of joy than anything else). I got paychecks before but currently i feel like a huge waste of space (although i getting my bachelors degrree). I´m 28.

@probsnooneyouknowtbh3712 2 жыл бұрын

Same tho 😭 For me, when I hear someone who is filed in my mind under "successful person" say they struggled with something similar to what I've struggled with, it's such a relief 'cause it feels like there's still hope.

@MarkerMurker 2 жыл бұрын

28, no paychecks, no degree, no idea what the heck to do with myself... Maybe I need an appointment with Dr K

@kynandesouza 3 жыл бұрын

signed up for coaching, really hoping i get called

@kynandesouza 3 жыл бұрын

@@chouzetsu8856 😊 thank you so much!!!

@deepakrajendra8019 3 жыл бұрын

Good luck! :D

@hussein7892 3 жыл бұрын

Good luck

@igordreher645 3 жыл бұрын

Good luck, hope the best for u

@JohnSmith-ox3gy 3 жыл бұрын

Gl, hf.

@J2digital 2 жыл бұрын

This interview was really good! It actually helped remind me of my own therapy that I've gone through. I think it's a good reminder that for those of us with self doubt, self esteem, and "burden" challenges emotionally that its also important to try to have empathy for ourselves too. Empathy and a little understanding about why we feel the way we do and how we got there goes a long way. Super cool Mini got to start learning about this at 18 instead of 7-10 years later like me haha.

@breezuhs 3 жыл бұрын

So thankful for you sharing your story, Minnie...it may sound cliche but reading the comments I can tell many people have felt a lot of the same feelings that you talked about. Sending love and positivity

@rextitan 3 жыл бұрын

Mini is going up there with paul as one of my favourite people on these videos. It's so nice to see them at the end of the talk compared to the start. It makes me smile.

@DragonQuicksilver 2 жыл бұрын

I needed to hear this so much. In my first year of college, I had a friend who told me my depression was driving people away and that people didn't want me around anymore. I had a meltdown because I couldn't control my depression. That moment stuck with me for 14 years, and I still have trouble getting past it.

@atl663 2 жыл бұрын

The moment 1 hour in where he explains the seminal moment and how the moment generates thoughts was super important and useful to know.

@atl663 2 жыл бұрын

Also an amazing meditation

@YoungMule 7 ай бұрын

Dr. K im so impressed by how you communicate. Incredibly generous and meta in ways i wish to integrate into myself. I notice you’re very invested in consent, giving yourself and the other person every opportunity to express agency. You listen and guide you he conversation so well it can seem like it’s almost planned out. I feel like you might have some sort of 3rd person perspective on such conversations as if there’s a you outside of the dialogue that’s narrating the interaction. It’s like watching a cooking video where the chef narrates all the actions and thought process they were having in the moment after the video has been shot.

@xElvix 3 жыл бұрын

She is literally my twin mentally..I relate really hard to her story

@amateruss 2 жыл бұрын

Careful with narcissists taking advantage of you...

@YoMamasLlama22 3 жыл бұрын

Please make these into podcast form; I’d love to listen to them on the go

@dewberry150 3 жыл бұрын

These videos are available as podcasts on Spotify! Simply search healthy gamer

@oskargustafsson500 3 жыл бұрын

@@dewberry150 Holy shit thank you!

@pizzatime8917 3 жыл бұрын

Have a good day

@MISNM0 Жыл бұрын

For real

@colleendeis928 Жыл бұрын

Way to go girl! You are so brave! I also say sorry all the time! It was nice to hear that we’re not alone!

@bokchoiman 3 жыл бұрын

I think a lot of people who have low self worth just need people to acknowledge the skills they have been cultivating. Nobody grows up without building some kind of skill. And I think if that skill or quality is demonstrated, many would be surprised to know how skilled/unique they really are.

@collaide 3 жыл бұрын

I love these conversations. You have a great community!!!!

@tootall432 3 жыл бұрын

When she said she physically felt like her heart broke, I teared up.

@csrxviple 2 жыл бұрын

I just found dr. K last week and have been watching the Interviews.I could empathize with her, well with most of the people in interviews that I’ve seen. I’m glad to see that even though she’s so young, she was brave enough to recognize her feelings and speak about it. I’m only now starting to realize that I need help. Overall I’m happy to see people heal, and makes it less scary for me to face the things I’m dealing with.

@Chizuru94 3 жыл бұрын

This is the stream I could most relate to and when I did the meditation genuinely this time, I started crying without effort and unconsciously. A lot. With sobs and all. And I'm German, but can relate to all of this. I wish I had "therapy/sessions" like this and not the stuff I had over years where NOTHING has ever helped and they never addressed the root of a problem ever. Just solutions that I couldn't put into action nor did they help when I was able to sometimes. Those streams really give me hope for myself, but can also drag me down to a deep place when I do the opposite and think people can do way more than me and I'll just stay here, like this ... I'll definitely keep this meditation in mind, though. This one is one that worked for me.

@thienluu6601 3 жыл бұрын

This story actually made me cry cause I never felt a story so close to home

@illdie314 3 жыл бұрын

This one in particular I resonated with so hard. Just replace a few adjectives in her struggles and you get my own.

@theeviljames 2 жыл бұрын

Dr. K ,FTW!. Thanks, Mini. I'm forever amazed by the strength and courage that all of you young - at least, to me at 40 - peeps display in shining a light on these issues. I hope it helped you as much as it helped me

@Fender2300DC 2 жыл бұрын

This whole conversation is brilliant. Thank you both for sharing this!

@HMHera 2 жыл бұрын

The awkward moment when you realise you're "the brother" in your family... now I kind of understand why my own sibling has no feelings of care for me...

@feilungthao481 3 жыл бұрын

These talks with our community is really helpful and a lot relatable. Thanks Minnie!

@Lokipower 3 жыл бұрын

Very awesome interview. Studying psychology at college right now, and I really look up to what you do!

@demon3203 3 жыл бұрын

I don't have time to watch this right now, but seen the title and figured I would drop some knowledge I've got through my life. When i was 9 years old i began to think that suicide was the solution. After every single fight or argument i got into with my family and at that time was a lot, i would go set up the things i was going to use and just sit there and think. Double check to make sure its what i wanted. The reasoning for this is i've always felt like a burden my whole life. My momand dad split when i was 4 and there was always the idea that it was my fault, because they didn't split when it was just my brother then only split later when they had me. Which i found out later that they didn't intend to have me. My dad was interested in another kid, but my mom wasn't. After they split, by the time i was 5 my dad got custody of me and mom went ghost for a year or two. Then would only come back around every now and then and ghost she would go. Being young i didn't really understand why i was angry all the time. Why i felt like i was burden and felt like if i never existed all these peoples lives would just be better. I had some understand, but never the full picture. Later found out that my mom was addicted to drugs and that was what a lot of my parents fighting was about when i was 3-4 years old. They were losing the house because my mom was taking the money they needed to spend it on drugs. It really didn't have anything to do with me, but i couldn't understand that. My family has never been good with mental health stuff so we would clash a lot. They never understood and even to this day don't know why i was a angry child. Why i didn't want to live anymore. My reasoning for staying in this world was my brother, because i was becoming more annoying and aggravating to my family with my anger issues and other things there were times where my dad would just flip out on me for minor things. Which didn't help with my thoughts, but there was one time my brother came bursting out of his room pushed my dad backed and yelled at him. It was the first time that i felt truly cared for, like someone was doing something for me because they wanted to and not because they had to. That was the thing i always though back on when i was thinking of ending it all. So I'm not really sure if there anything to learn from my story of the darkest times in my life, but just in case it might help someone, anyone. Its here in these comments for anyone to read. So thanks for reading i hope you have a wonderful day and life :D (Edit : I would like to add that i'm 23 years old now, get along with my family fine, my mom has been clean and off drugs for some years now and i'm super happy for her. I try to help her with her problems as much as possible because she feels extremely guilty for things she has done and all the things she missed in my brothers and my life. I can put all this out there because I've made it through all that and more and i'm proud of it. Its also apart of who i am and i'm proud of that as well. I don't like to run away from my past and act like it doesn't exist.)

@Meaganttv 3 жыл бұрын

I hate to see her struggle, shes so lovely

@tiggersrevenge 3 жыл бұрын

word

@Keepedia99 3 жыл бұрын

Wow this showed me so much, this person has so much insight into where her problems come from

@nicole2349 2 жыл бұрын

I very much relate and have had a similar experience. I'm so glad I was able to watch this!

@MetaLeir93 3 жыл бұрын

It all comes down to us taking a bad situation and making it our whole identity, every time. It sticks to you and it won't peel Rationally you know it's not a big deal but holy fuck it feels real

@Moustashmol 3 жыл бұрын

Brother has nothing to do in there she feels like her brother is a burden cause her parents made him feel like such no wonder she also feels like a burden her parent raised her telling her she has to worry about " oo what are People gonna think'

@Nestoras_Zogopoulos 3 жыл бұрын

Yeah it kinda felt like her parents established what was ''bad'' by pointing at her brother , and now it seems like that judging figure of her parents , highschoolers, and korean society as a whole, is internalised. And of course thats what we all do, it isnt something new ; but it was especially visible in this girl, as one of the reasons for her suffering. If im being honest I kinda felt uneasy, because I felt like she left important pieces of the puzzle out, that is understandable in this online setting of course, but hopefully she takes the time to integrate them alone , she certainly was consious of them because she intentionally left them out , but yeah

@MarkerMurker 2 жыл бұрын

This is my favorite one so far, maybe tied with Paul's interviews. Something about her is so soft and soothing

@NinaKlos 3 жыл бұрын

This one was amazing xD Love her! "It's okay not to be perfect"

@CodeMonkeyZzX 3 жыл бұрын

I hope she can move out, those parents sound really abusive. I know how it is staying in that environment and making it feel 'normal'. Wishing the best for her

@dogsfromthecity 2 жыл бұрын

I am korean.... And it really saddens me that our cuture (and genetics) has become such a damage to ourselves... I am also someone that struggled with my family demons and solitude and I am glad I can be in a position I can look behind, reflect, discover myself and form a clearn path for my future. It is a daily battle, but everyone get there eventually with some help. :)