I relate to this too. But I’ve come to a conclusion that coming across as a know it all and at times failing not being ashamed of that is so much of a better way of living. And this way you can actually figure out clearly what you’re smart at and what you’re not. The other way doesn’t even feel like living.

I think listing and presenting the benefits and consequences of your ideas is what you should do? This way, it would look more, uh, professional? emotionless? neutral? serious? pragmatic? (not just how it looks to them, but also to you). Think of an acquaintance casually talking about the weather; communicating the cons of your idea would look a lot less, uh, casual? forgettable? Anyway, I think it also makes it clear to the others (and you) about what your problems are with your idea. If everyone just listens to you (saying a list of your issues with your idea without any visual aid), know that only a few would remember half of your list (Also, notice that no one is jotting down notes as you speak). Also, maybe, ask everyone else what they think of your idea? "At least, this is what I think. What about you?" Idk, but maybe this shows that you value their opinion? If people think that you are smart but you downplay your ideas, I think you demonstrate to them that you reject their opinion (of you). I think most people don't like it when their opinion is rejected. So, that's how I got that you should show that you value their opinion. If someone faces you and says that you look good, or are smart, maybe don't say "no, [insert reason here]" but instead smile and say thank you. But maybe, create some variations "oh, thank you (notice the oh)!" or "hihihihi! I'm flattered!" or chin up, leave as you flick your hair, and come back to say "just kidding." Also, add variation to the same phrase by changing the tone, but take care not to sound like you're only saying "thank you" because you are programmed to do so upon receipt of a compliment.

@@biggiganticbones Wise words. I learned quite a lot from the comment section, but your words stuck with me. The meta talk about rejection of ideas and also accepting compliments is something worth discussing. People usually just say "You're right (but...)" and it ends like that. Only one side to the talk, making it a monologue. But the way you shared your analysis of the thoughts and tried to remain unbiased, that is a way I am happy seeing online, as it is rare.

I went through the exact same situation. I’m just now learning that my thoughts are totally false.

Same. I also come from a somewhat cannibalistic home as a kid where people are constantly jealous and sabotaging each other

You're welcome! I'm so glad you found it helpful! 😊

Recommended reading: The Healthline article on "Black and White thinking How it Limits You and How to Stop" and also Psychology Today: "Mitigating Absolutist Thinking". "Nearly everything we think of as dichotomous is actually spectral" - John Green. Then one of my own little maxims "Nearly everything is relative is a 100% correct Absolute statement" - The Horseshoe Party UK. 😋

it's also something I try to do, see my name haha

Yeah same here I was told exactly the same by my own therapist I ahve attachment related post traumatic stress as well so I really take time adjusting to a new place as such, for me me home is the only place that makes me happy

I have pmdd. I found supplements that got me to a place where I can actually deal with it. Let me know if you are interested and I will let you know the product names.

@@NikiMcNally I need your recommendations too! I noticed vitex helps me to be more calm during pms, also I’m taking Mood support supplements and L tryptophan

He's a bit rough with his language and words, but you may benefit from Mark Manson's work. A relevant article here he wrote is 'The Feedback Loop from Hell' Thoughts about thoughts about thoughts is IMO, something only intelligent or at minimum self-aware people experience. Those lacking just do not have the self awareness to even reach thoughts about thoughts, never mind to the Nth degree like this feedback loop causes. Anxious about being anxious about being anxious and guilty about one daring to be anxious when things could be worse how dare I now I'm so anxious WHOOPS panic attack. Angry about something, so angry that one ends angry about being angry it's not my fault it's theirs I hate being angry it means I'm petty like them WHOOPS Angry about being angry about being angry time for intoxicants and terrible decisions.

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Yes I'm going for a similar but different approach. I haven't got the time energy or money to chase up a PhD. Instead, aiming for something like Counselling. Less stress, responsibility, less pay but also get earning sooner and I need to do that ASAP!

Can alters be subtle and can you remember the switching

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@NikiMcNally same here, but add schizoaffective to the mix and here i am trying to get rid of those thoughts but it's like they have a mind of their own. Definitely not an alter responsible for them, and i know they're just holding me back, but when i sit down and try to work, the criticism floods my brain and won't go away.

You will. Talk to yourself nicely everyday and choose to be kind to yourself even when those around are being harsh with you. Good luck to you❤ Understanding who I am in God’s eyes also helped me a lot move on from my inner bullies.

There is so much self-doubt and negative self-talk in art groups online sometimes, people starting out and yet comparing themselves to a person who's been painting for 50 years, not realizing they should be the best version of their own art rather than a poor imitation of the art of others, etc. I went to school for art and still had trouble showing stuff to others for years! These videos help a lot.

i relate! 2 sayings I learned that might help: "Compare, despair!" and "Never compare your insides to other people's outsides."

That makes soo much of sense!! We'll ofc it's been 2 months since i posted that comment, things haven't changed much but i do feel a lot better..Thank you so much!

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