I started HRT nine months ago and am now transitioning from MtoF. I am sixty-nine years old. I always had a fascination with woman’s clothes from an early age and tried to imagine what it would be like to be a woman. For many years, I was focused on my education and career. I had relationships with women that never seemed to work out. When I finished graduate school at about age forty, I started cross-dressing. The first time was on Halloween. Quickly, I was going to groups and clubs cross dressed as a woman. I started forming relationships with other cross dressers. One evening at a party I realized how much I craved the body of a woman. Clothes started to be less important and my feminine identity became more conscious for me. This was in the early 1990’s. There were a few other girls on hormones, but there were no videos on the Internet and information was very sparse. We did not use the term transgender. When I started living more as a woman on weekends, I began to be frustrated thinking I will never realize my dream of being a woman. I was too hairy and masculine looking. Laser hair removal was in its infancy and FFS did not exist as far as I knew. At that point in my life, the financial burden of transition seemed unacceptable. Besides, I would never be accepted at work and in the larger society. I decided I did not want to focus on gender the rest of my life. I managed to stop cross-dressing and sublimate my feelings identifying as female. Just before I turned fifty I married a wonderful woman to whom I am still married. About two years ago I began again seriously exploring my trans identity with the Internet. Eleven months ago the damn broke (the egg cracked) and I realized I needed to accept my authentic self and deal with the smoldering dysphoria. I found a great therapist and started my transition. My wife is very patient and little by little is accepting me as I live more authentically. I am now happier than ever and more connected. Many of my problems remain, but my life is better. Clothes are not that important now. It is more about my authentic self. Sure, I have regrets for not confronting my trans nature sooner. But, the world was different thirty years ago and gender transition seemed nearly impossible. I lived in a family environment that in no way encouraged me to deal with gender and sexual issues. It was unimaginable my gender might be different from what I was assigned at birth. But, I realized I was different. It took me a long, long time to understand exactly how and even why that is so with regards to gender. Thank you so much Dr. Z for your videos. You do a great job in capturing the trans experience and helping people like myself lead better lives. Especially this one about realizing it is more than about cross dressing. By sharing this video with other people and my comment I believe it will help them understand my journey and accept me for whom I am.

AT THE AGE OF 13 I REALIZED IT WAS MORE THAN CROSSDRESSING

Nearing age 64 my egg has cracked. Feeling overwhelmed and alone so thank you Dr. Z for your amazing insight, you are a Godsend ❤

I didn't know my depression was gender dysphoria when I was a child. When I first put on women's clothes at the age of 27 It felt right to look like a woman. I finally realized the sadness of changing back into men's clothes was gender dysphoria. I kept feeling like I wanted to be looking like a woman all of the time, and that I felt so much happier looking like a woman. When I felt my inner thoughts and feelings now matched how I looked I knew I was transgender.

Wow This speaks to my experience My egg cracked at 51 after a very successful life and career as an alpha male in a Catholic, military and successful life and parent with many physically active and dangerous sports My therapist suggested in 2007 that I try low dose hrt to help resolve my confusion and reason for cross dressing since I was 4 Within just 4 weeks it was quite clear to me that I needed cross sex hormones on an ongoing basis such was their dramatic impact I felt more sensate, more present and more engaged Colour, texture, emotion and connection with Self and others dramatically improved Such was my repression and analytic nature that I am not sure that anything other than the use of hrt as a diagnostic tool would have convinced me that I was transgender! I resisted the diagnosis for a further 10 years and sought any other explanation, even trying low dose hrt for many years before my wife said that I needed to transition and that I wouldn’t do it unless we divorced as she didn’t want to live with me as a woman The rest as they say is history and I am now living my best and most authentic life as a fully transitioned woman I am 66 next month!

In my younger days I started cross dressing. It was a struggle for me then because I felt like I could never actually be a woman. Now that world has progressed to be more accepting of transgender people I became more comfortable with the idea. I have now spent a few months on HRT and it's been strange because I do feel like I've wasted so much time that I could have spent living the way I wanted to. I have no regrets though because who is to say that it would not have gone bad for me. Growing up in a conservative town, state, and home it was definitely not the safest thing to do at that time.

Perfect! You expressed so well how different the CD experience (reasons and thoughts) can be ... I had exactly zero idea I was trans ... I had been attracted to but vehemently avoided cross dressing until right before I turned 50 when I shared my thoughts with my partner. I was sure it was sexual, I tried homosexuality several times throughout my life, but was always disappointed/unsatisfied. So ... I knew I wasn't gay. Less than 24 hours after telling my partner I wanted to try cross dressing, I knew. As soon as I gave myself permission ... lots of feelings surfaced. I didn't even know the word dysphoria, but suddenly it was obvious. A life long gray cloud lifted.

Omg Dr. Z this speaks to me so much. My egg cracked after my separation. I always wished to be a woman but couldn't ever try because of my environment. It took one night fully dressed as my authentic self, for all my depression and hate and anxiety to fall. I looked in the mirror and cried. Not out of shame, but out of pride. I saw what I wanted for so long. I'm 39 and one week on HRT.

This is a good video. I had the ahha moment back in the 1990s when I was exploring and got involved with the local crossdressing community. I always felt strange with having 2 sides, and naming one side with a feminine name in addition to maintaing my masculine identity. I also knew full medical transition wasn't for me. Best way to put it was that no matter how I expressed, I felt neither male or female. Many years progressed and finally language to describe me finally emerged genderfluid and non-binary.

This me at 58. My egg has cracked and I don’t know how to move forward. My wife and family know of my crossdressing but this new revelation is so hard explain. I am scared for the future Rachel

I didn't engage in "crossdressing" as an adult, but I liked to play dress-up in my mom's clothes as a child and I imagined that I would be wearing pretty dresses like her as an adult. One ex-girlfriend once had me try on her nightie and when I looked in the bathroom mirror, I felt absolute horrible. I felt so incredibly ugly and everything felt so wrong. I took it off almost immediately and never put it on again. A few years later when I finally accepted myself, I almost immediately put on women's clothing and this time it felt so right and natural.

Thank you so much! ❤Your points about timing have made me feel so much better about being 46 and realizing that I am indeed trans.

tl;dr: this has helped me so much Dr Z, thank you for helping me find myself and really saving me! I have cried and never felt so well understood until meeting other trans people like myself and especially your videos on various topics. This one really hit home for me. I have been crossdressing since I was 5-7 but there was a break from that time until about 25 when I moved out. Those 20 years were lost years in so many ways. When I was 5-7 I would sneak in to my mom's dresser and put on her clothes. I felt really good wearing them and it was really exciting, until one day I got caught. I was told a definitive NO! followed by a spanking. That confirmed for the next 40 years that it is wrong and is not appropriate behaviour. Once I moved out I immediately went out and bought women's clothing, especially fetish hyper feminine styles. My new freedom allowed me to explore my feminine self. Fast forward through the next 20 years to last month August 2023. I have long since accepted crossdressing as a valid way to express my feminine side. I had not let go of the guilt though. I knew about trans people and always said no that is not me, those people are way beyond what I do. Well you have helped me to understand and accept that no I am not just crossdressing, I am really a transgender woman. I have since received counseling, have successfully come out to my wife and kids as well as close friends and am now starting to transition. I have finally found myself for the first time in my 45 years of life and I am absolutely bursting with excitement and enthusiasm for my future. Thank you so much Dr Z! You have helped me so much more than I can write with words.

This is an important video. It clears up all the confusion for both trans and cis people. Not only is it going to help a number of trans people understand their situation, cis people will better understand the struggles trans people face on a daily basis. Well done!

Thanks Doctor Diane, I have struggled with enjoying crossdressing or feeling like a woman and being sexual, often influenced by videos and subliminal hypnosis files on promoting transitioning in my case from a man ti a woman. I have experienced pleasure but also great shame from my behaviour. Thank you for your help to work through feelings similar to what I have experienced. I have gained a lot of comfort from listening to you as really have structured with my gender identity. I like lots of aspects of being a man such as my interest in sport. But also feel inadequate as a man and do enjoy pretending to feel like a woman. So very thankful to you and feel much better about myself as you really help me to better understand how I feel. Thank you very much for the wonderful videos and help you provide to men like myself who really feel confused and need help to work through their gender identity. I look nothing like a woman but have desires tj be feminine. I use a female identity online but use a male name in my day ti day life. Sorry am embarrassed to openly share my real name and share be open to people who know me. Just being honest. But thank you again.

I hate that the word transvestite has been taken from us. This is what I am. I am a transvestite, I always have been, I always will be. I just love women's clothes. I feel like I've been robbed of my identity. I'm reclaiming the word transvestite. I am a transvestite and proud to be so!

Great video Dr. Z! Yep, I was just as you mentioned. Cross-dressed for years, until tragic family events and my internal Dysphoria got the best of me. It was either address my Dysphoria or ....well, the other result wasn't good. Yes, I started transition later in life at age 64, but, you are never, ever too old to transition. When is it too late? When you die! Since starting transition almost 2 years ago, I have never, ever been happier. I look back at my crossdressing and realized that all along I was just trying to express my authentic self and through the decades of societal 'norms' (what really is normal?) I suppressed who I was internally due to the taboo that society had imposed. No more! I am happy in being the woman I am, and happy with the changes that are happening to my physical form, and looking forward to the remainder of my life as being my authentic self! Thanks again for yet another incredible video Dr. Z! ❤❤💕💕

CD served me more like an armor to protect myself from the world around me that felt sooo foreign as it seemed to mirror for me my physical incongruence, everything seemed backwards, everyone seemed like an enemy because they saw a different person than who I really was which used to make me cry and hide so much, cross-dressing gave me a temporary anchor reminding me who I am so I would not lose myself in this world, none of it was sexual as I did not need to cross-dress when I was alone at home, so since around the age of 12 when I was out in public especially during my school years I used to be wearing some piece of clothing underneath which I associated with the opposite sex, t-shirt, sweater, socks, tights, panties, tank top, etc. I knew I was a girl inside, my own body and other people around me were constantly reminding me what kind of biological and social role I was meant to embody to feel at ease and fulfilled, my own body knew instinctually that I was meant to be a mother and be a wife, my own spontaneous desires and passions were only reflecting that inner self, but I lived like an undercover agent all these years, I've been adopting beliefs of the bigoted society using them as external pressures to suppress my desires and passions to the point when I eventually had no longer any desires and passions anymore, for anything, I died inside. I stopped cross-dressing entirely since then, kept myself out of jobs and only on support from my parents so I would not have to be around other people, I've basically stopped living under the excuse that I am just autistic and can not socialize. It took me awhile to connect the dots because I've repressed so much, when I dressed up again, this time I cried so much, because it has re-awakened my passion for life that I had to abandon before, as it seemed to me impossible to physicallize, largely out of fear.

Thank you sooo much for this Video. Its exaclty what i am starting to get in contact with lately and it confusses me alot. The more i get in touch with my feminin side, the more i want to explore it. Started out of sexual pleasure for myself, then turned into dating, turned into going on my first party and outside expierience, which now turned into the feeling of wanting to integrate my femininty into my daily life and i am not quite sure where to go from here. All i know is that it so exciting and feels so good to openly embrace this part of me. But i will take this babystep by babystep and see what the future brings.. Thanks again

This has been such a helpful video. I've been really struggling with realizing that I'm trans, and I've been having quite a lot of internal debates on the matter. But as soon as you brought up repression, and how there is usually a reason why some of us dont connect the dots until later in life, was like a lightbulb moment for me. I feel really silly for not considering that sooner 😅

1:22 Lightbulb...💡 mid 2020 my egg cracked wide open... CD most of my life, realized with much online research, that I am Transgender. All the pieces seemed to fall into place. Took 56 years to figure it all out.

Thankyou again , I share these with folks who can use them . I thought I was not aware of my true self until my awakening at 68 yrs ? ( Probably I did but refused to acknowledge ) 💜❤️💜🐾💃🐕🌈

Thank you Dr. Z. After much exploring and hours of watching your videos, I reached my true self, nonbinary genderfluid. Very firmly in that camp and confident about it. So grateful for your help.

Dr. Z. Thank you for these videos. I am crying my eyes out right now. I feel I am in the third category. I have made an appointment with a gender care specialist for next week. My egg cracked a couple weeks ago and I am in such pain right now and I am 50 years old. I need help so bad and hope I can get it.

Bless you Dr. Z ❤

Glad you made the clarification between cross and trans. Some people think it's the same x

Thank you Dr.Z! 💙💜🤍💜💙

Thank you Dr Z this was very helpful to me. I do find myself wishing I would have started as a teenager and not really knowing why I didn't.

Seriously Doc, can you read minds? Whatever you described & told was just absolutely spot on perfect...things that has been going on within me always,riddled with all sort of confusion & torment for a very long time. Yes, my egg has cracked quite a long time ago, know internally that I am transgender, yet I often seek affirmations from knowledgeable source & yes through your video, you just hit the needle right on its head. You just unfolded my whole life right through your super accurate observations...born & brought up in a complete ignorant times, where even thinking about such topic was considered taboo, yet I always felt incomplete , frustrated & Dysphoric ( never even knew or heard the term in that age). Yes, I have Crossdresser all throughout the ages, but maybe only through the net/s.m & videos like yours ,I could finally connect all the dots & finally realise who I really am. I affirm myself as Transgender today & for that I am highly obliged to Super helpful Gender Specialist like you. Dr. Z ...you have been truly awesome & I am totally amazed of how you can get inside our minds ! 👍👌✌️❤️💯

❤🎉😂 thank you for the lovely uplifting video in definition of what I do now I know where I stand and I will move forward from there!

Good video. I started crossdressing at about eighteen. Just a dress at first, but after a few years it turned into women’s lingerie. It was always for a private sexual experience and I just kept coming back to it. I had several normal relationships, but, I always went back to my crossdressing and solo sexual fun. I got more confident, privately that is, and the dressing became just full on. Shaved body, full makeup, false eyelashes, false boobs, nail varnish on my fingers and toes, lingerie, heels, wigs, jewelry, perfume, and of course a camera or video camera. The sexual pleasure changed too. Using my hand, plus using a realistic toy on myself. Wanting to feel like a woman, but, at the same time, wanting to stay as a man. OK, maybe a gay, crossdressing, man, or transgender man, but I didn’t want to change into a woman. I like being a crossdressing man. I do find it cathartic being able to speak so openly and honestly on here. 😊

I'm MTF. I started out as a crossdresser and was always fascinated with my mom's clothes. I statrted out wearing "sexy" clothes but those soon became womens jeans, tees, and comfy dresses. My pretty, sexy underwear soon became comfy black/white/or nude colored underwear. I hated having short hair but hated wearing wigs. I hated being flat chested and wanted to have a woman's breasts but always hated wearing breast forms. I have a bad case of vagina envy and always wanted to have a flat crotch area but hated tucking. My egg cracking moment was when I realized I wanted to have permanent boobs and a permanent vagina. I was on hormones for a couple years but stopped because I moved to a place that was not trans friendly for a job. I'm now looking to get back onto hormones and am really considering going "all the way."

I love the egg analogy, I am definitely like Humpdy Dumpy, but every time I fell off the wall, the kings horses and his men put me back together. Now at 58, I fell of that wall again, but they seem to have forgotten how to put me back together. 🥚

I agree with everything you say and have experienced this myself. As a 60+ year old (barely) I have been struggling with this stuff my entire life, but have managed to keep it beaten down. Now, I have been diagnosed with gender dysphoria by 2 different specialists in the last several years. At my age, I also feel like I have trained myself to the male persona for so long, that is who I have become. So maybe if I had a "do over" transition would make sense, but probably at this point it would not make my overall life better.

Thank you so much for emphasizing the fact that so many of us were repressed as a survival mechanism! I am of 72 years of age, a woman of transgender experience, who transitioned in 2010 and over the course of the following three years did as much as I could to bring my authentic self to reality. From the age of 4 I knew I wasn’t a boy, but my family didn’t allow me any other path to follow. I grew up in a fundamentalist Christian family that was poor and uneducated. We were a large family, because my parents didn’t practice any birth control to my knowledge, they probably didn’t believe in it. We went to church every Sunday all day and there was no acceptance of any gender bending in my household. I lived in Chicago first and then a small suburb from my pre-teen years onward. I was never a cross dresser, but when I was finally able to experiment with wearing women’s clothes in the early 1970s the backlash from my neighbors was so frightening that I feared for my life and stopped after a few years. I didn’t understand why they were saying the hateful nasty things to me that they did I was just expressing myself and I didn’t even know anything about transgender either. I did know a little about cross dressing, but not much I just wanted to be free to be myself. From then on I forced the desire to better understand myself out of my mind and lived an ordinary, regular, life (I hate the word normal used in relation to this kind of thing) until my wife died when I was 55 and I was forced to confront my entire existence. It was like the flood gates opened and I remembered it all from when I was the tiny 4 year old trans girl wanting to play house, but being told I couldn’t because that was for girls not boys. I remembered listening to the sermons about people going to hell and it felt like I was singled out even though I hadn’t done anything wrong. And I remembered all the years of bullying I had endured throughout my grade and high school times. And I remembered my first sexual experience which was being raped by an upperclassman in my first year at university. I remembered every painful experience and I vowed to make it all worthwhile by living my truth, the one the world tried to deny me. So yes, the repression saved me, but the time lost also makes me hate the world that forced me into that corner in the first place. I’m still working on forgiving the world, but I think it may take the rest of my life.

Thank You! If I may Dr Z? First" you are very beautiful, very well at putting yourself together❤ I " liVe on the outside, I"m always looking in.. I do my best when it comes to ppl, society, family and friends. Well rounded is what I appreciated greatly as I"d listened to you! I feel better relieved but not for what you may think, ( Every person's EXperience is Different ) so many variables but you've captured importance and it relates to A ToN of individuals!! LOL I.m Compelled to write you! Maybe? You can find the irony that's baffled me, bothered me even angered me immensely! "Keep in mind my first sentence up there. When all of this began to fall from the sky "seemingly" it come this way to society because money brought us out, instead of shaming" we became studies for another's advance AND all of the rest, some good yes! But. That begining EVERYONE came out of the wood work giving advice, guiding an individual who basically would and has been their lives these troubling unknowns sent them towards anything they themselves can/could relate to! Closely identify with! That was dangerous to an already troubling state for a person. Like I'd said from the outside. And for years I've watched as that has unfolded. Thats why I wrote to you. Self awareness is a brick wall as a young individual. Especially when it commonly arises in a coming of sort of sexuality, also ones place in their young groups. COMPLEX!!😅 THANK YOU for speaking from the right place! I KNOW! what it's like! I lived respectfully for myself! I've had fo unwrap all of this alone. Completely!! Respectfully! Laughing" I ask what is an egg!? I tried keeping this short, recently I've discovered i've Lived all that from child hood with ADHD!? Im 52 and I just find that out! Managing DISPHORIA has been in my face pretty hard but out of two choices I only ever have one option so" Very beautiful and breathtaking - I hope you might recieve the sense of it's gravity all around us when I say. ( I have been having that conversation in my head, my inner voice' repetitively speaks those very same sentences to me as a song stuck in. My mind. I've never heard them from another person "ever" and I've never heard them in any other voice) Dr Z❤ WONDERFUL Bless you And I wish you all of the best. Now for me! It's like you just fell out of the sky, that time thing? "Sigh" that too respectfully if you do happen upon this? The photo is real lol it's me at 41 my first ever secret makeover, that day OMGrsh😅. My apologies for the spelling😊

Thank you for posting this. I’m still unsure. Since it’s occurred since childhood before any CD and because I’ve been accused many times by guys of ‘being a chick’ or ‘being gay’ I’m pretty sure it’s dysphoria not just CD, but I still wonder at times if that’s all it is and I’m otherwise fine…maybe that’s lying to myself to avoid losing my career and family who think it’s very wrong. Idk 🤷

Ever since the age of 6 I ignored the arbitrary gender boundaries of clothing and fashion and just wore what I wanted to. My peers and family called it crossdressing but that term never felt right to me. I was just....dressing. Last year my egg cracked and I began to better understand myself. I appreciate the information you put out into the world, Dr. Z ❣❣

I have always hated body hair. Seems as many consider this a form of dysphoria. I am at my happiest when 98% hairless. Only eyelashes. Love wearing makeup. Love how it makes me feel. My eyebrows and eyeliner are tattooed. Recently started to wear a matte neutral color lipstick and also black mascara. When wearing my eyeglasses you can kinda tell the mascara but no comments either way yet.

Something that's hard about accepting it wasn't my fault I couldn't face it earlier means realizing how I was treated by others. Acknowledging I wasn't at fault means seeing my abuse.

I, like many, crossdressed early in life. At the time, and for a long time, I never asked myself why I did it. I mean, it was in part to feel sexy. What I didn't acknowledge was that it was to feel sexy as a Woman, not as a guy engaging in kink, fetish. But when i dress, it gave me gender euphoria.

Thank you for the great information ❤. I just need to find out still.

Finally a video I don’t relate too so I don’t have to pay too much attention lol. Never “cross dressed”, don’t have any plans to present differently unless a lot of things luck out

Hello Dr. Z! Do I have a question? I’m in my transition from man to woman! And my mom lives with me! I have already confessed my transsexuality from man to woman to her! And she tells me why I didn’t tell her before when I was young? And she tells me that she saw me understood! For me it’s hard to be a 55-year-old man, to be a father of 3 children and Mallory’s old, and today to be a grandfather, but to have a robust physique! Nothing has prevented me from being a woman! Because I like it and tranquility to my being! How can I inform my mom and others of my decision at this age? Thank you for being an angel of the transgender community 🌈!

I didn't have the words for what it was. I just thought I was weird and liked women's clothes and dreaming about being a woman. Surprise! I'm so much happier now as my true self.

This video described me to a "T" - Now that I'm older I feel that I now have some freedoms to explorer myself more that I could when I was younger

I have self repressed all my life. I come from a working class background where 'sensitivities' weren't really catered for and I have always felt shame for how I prefer to dress and for my sexuality. I still feel that transitioning is too big a step so I have to find a middle way....for now.

I think my egg is going to crack soon so ashame of it so confused i question my self all the time

crossdressing is where i started but after a long time and much introspection i had my egg crack . im still learning how to function

I had a feeling there was something there for decades (a very strong interest in anything that had to do with gender-bending with the exception of the drag art form) and I remember doing some online "tests" (essentially Cosmo quizzes) that were in no way diagnostic but the results of which always tended to suggest that there was something more than crossdressing (feminine interests, for example). I remember going through the shame, and I went through one purge of clothing, which I understand is common. It wasn't until my parents were dead, my daughter was no longer living with me and I was separated from my wife, so I was living on my own, that I explored my femininity in greater detail. I remember also having a wish that I could be involved in some form of "accident" and that it would require an operation from which I would wake up, and they would tell me that I was OK, but parts were damaged such that they had to change me into a woman. I think that's quite common. And I used a therapist who helped me deal with it all. So it is just as you say. There had to be time and space for me to be introspective before my egg could crack. The world is becoming more dangerous for trans women. I've tasted the forbidden fruit, so to speak, and I am never going back, but I don't think I would chance taking the red pill in today's society which is significantly less safe, especially in America, than it was four years ago, without significantly more internal pressure.

Thank you so much for this. I always knew I was trans, I just hoped I was wrong... now at 50 and hoping to finally resolve these issues

I’ve always known to an extent but I was denying it because of family. I’m older divorced, kids are older and after failed relationships because of the need to be in the feminine role I have finally excepted that I’m transgender. The depression subsided after that. I’m now taking slow steps to be my true self for the rest of my life.

Regarding culture, because in Canadian culture it's often parallel to American in terms of externalizing, even if you manage to have some modicum of self awareness when comparatively younger about such a thing as being trans it's not always advantageous to act on that awareness. But at that point repressing who one really is feels a lot like self harming. Yet some of us might do that for decades, telling ourselves "it's for our partners, our children, our careers, etc. but someday...."

Dr. Z, thanks a lot. One question, though. Does this mean that cis people can give themselves GD simply by questioning their gender and/or engaging in crossdresser behaviour? Could then dysphoria go away by halting such behaviours or once it is out there it is a "valid" permanent form of GD that need be adressed as any other narrative?

I never crossdressed in my life, which was part of what had led me to think I couldn't possibly be trans, because I didn't know the difference between gender expression and gender identity. I know gay men who grew up more gender nonconforming than I did. Yet I turned out to be trans, and they did not. Personally I think we should do away with gendered clothing and just let people dress however they want, without placing gendered expectations on them one way or another. I wear what's practical and easily washable. Fashion trends change all the time, and clothing associated with one gender today used to be the opposite several generations ago. You don't have to crossdress to be trans, and crossdressing alone is not a sign that you're trans.

I started crossdressing in my 20s, I had no clue why other than I enjoyed it. My egg cracked this year, at 46.

They got us pointing the finger at each other... Divide and rule is there game.

I’m 65 years old and now cross dress but have feelings that I don’t want to continue to be a man I feel good with this feeling exited almost. But I cry sometimes which is me releasing my feelings. Every day is a new day and we all need to just live it.

I had known something was different when I was 4 or 5 years old, but had no clue what it meant (this was the early 60's in rural northern Minnesota - nothing was available to know back then). When I was in my early teens, I saw a magazine article on a trans person - I'm guessing Renee Richards for the timing of it. That was when I realized I wasn't the only one in the world like this. Well, I wasn't like _that_, but there was someone else that was AMAB but dressed as a woman. It took me until I was in college to find out more of the details, but still couldn't accept the then term "transsexual", so I had to be a "transvestite" (this was the mid/late 70s, and those were the terms of the day). For decades, "cross-dressing" was all that I could admit to wanting. I saw a therapist in 2004 but was told "You wouldn't make a good candidate. You should find something else to do." when I asked if I was trans and should transition. It wasn't until 2016 that I would find a good therapist with gender transition experience that I was officially diagnosed with Gender Dysphoria. Even though it was what I knew I wanted to hear, it still took me a couple of months to internalize it and admit that I did indeed need to transition. By then I was in my mid to late 50s. I still had some delays in getting to transition as I delayed things due to my wife's cancer. Now I am living my best life. I am truly happy and living life like I never have before. I wouldn't change my past, as I am very happy with where I've ended up.

I think now that I am one of those who are "repressed". Growing up as a kid in the 80's there was that push to be one thing only assigned at birth. I was never too much into sports, secretly I did like girl things and Tv shows and such in that time period. Reason I click on Dr Z videos is I was thinking that crossdressing may be a sexual thing, but the more I think about I am not getting any gratification from it, thus the arousal is just a byproduct. I mostly feel that I just want this boy thing cut off. This is something I will explore.

Me too

Great job sweetheart 🩲👙🌈

I realized I was trans @ 23 & by 24 I was on hrt ever since. Now 27@ the time of this writing

Is there any way I can get in contact with you

Is there any way I can contact you

8:25 back in the 50's, 60's, 70's... we'd get our ass kicked, or worse, if we came out as Trans...

Hmm are you saying there's a group of people that might simply be crossdressers to start but they experience so much shame and question themselves so much that they develop dysphoria and a trans identity to resolve this conflict?

Дякую

Once you know

I realize being a CD was a temporary fix . Had to stop lying to myself. Sense I started transitioning. I feel better about myself. Happier in my true skin

so im NOT just a guy that likes crossdressing

We have gone from pudding to egg cracking. I suppose deconstructing is what a psychologist does. 😉

An easy way to remember the difference between cross dressing and being transgender: If you put on a bra when you get home, you are a cross dresser. If you take off your bra when you get home, you are transgender. A transgender female will also know how to take off her bra without taking her top off as well.

interesting segmented. my oldest memory is of gender dysphoria. of course I didn't understand what it was. I became totally aware at 12 but I felt because when it was I grew up nIn thought it was a dead end and I would never be able ton don anything about it. Finally when Covid came I started dressing to see if it was enough. I found that it wasn`t. I have been transitioning since summer of 21. thanks for the segment

You have explained my life, very well. I was at each level at one stage or another. I started because it made me horny. Later, I questioned my sexuality because of it. Now, I am showing signs of gender dysphoria.

Here's a good joke I heard from a trans woman: What's the difference between a crossdresser and a trans woman? - About a year.

Is there any way I can contact you