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If a woman has worked on healing her traumatic childhood past she can have a healthy connection as an adult. It’s never too late because even those who were mistreated as children deserve love in their lives as adults.

I pray that the children who come from divorced families are able to break the cycle in their own lives.

That’s bullshit….my wife had a shit childhood and she appreciates everything I give her. She appreciates the stability I offer, treats me like a king and creates a very peaceful household. 37 years this week and going strong.

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her

That made me cry. Why does it feel so reassuring to have your feelings so clearly explained by a stranger?

Broken homes can be better than homes where people are living with toxicity quietly and presenting a picture perfect to the outer world. Or the married where one spouse is cheating and the other just tolerates for years due to money, lack of support, etc.

I really hate that people stigmatize divorced parents as a broken home. No family is perfect. There are so many couples faking a false image of happiness and success that messes up their kids just as much because they're dysfunctional in private. You can grow up to be a well adjusted, loving person, rich in morals and common sense with divorced parents. Judge on individual behavior and character, not the actions of people you'll never date.

People who were the most broken, are the ones that can later on love the most and feel the most. Their hearts are like diamonds.

Those with childhood issues when work on themselves, they become great partners and help others to heal as well.

I was raised in a good and loving enviroment, and when I was looking for a partner, they would just go like "ah she is just too nice, too good" ( not exciting). Now when I am self accomplished good looking woman, these same guys suddenly are way too friendly, someone who didn't even pay attention for my existance years ago, now suddendly wants to hang out. I am off the market, I do my job, I don't care and don't want anyone - like that. I just have to live with the temporary fact that I am in the wrong enviroment.

In a way, I disagree. My parents were very mentally ill and unstable. My brother and I are normal and have very stable marriages. I understand what she is saying in terms of you need to make sure that your future spouse has a good family because the children usually imitate parent’s behavior but I guess my brother and I were an exception to that rule.

Horrible. I come from a broken home and I have watched this. Thank you for expressing and enhancing a strong negative stereotype for children who come from broken homes and giving them another hardship to cope. I pray that one day you feel the same way I feel now to taste your own cruelty.

Oh so I am from broken family with sadistic selfish parents and that makes me ineligible for a healthy loving married life. "i am dodgy. Don't come near me."

Sadia I am impressed, your calmness and assured responses are very good and pointed. It is good to see someone who can give advice and be honest about it. People lack emotional wellbeing because of their life experiences and I agree the young years of life is very important, more so than most can understand.

Avoidant and anxious attachments attract each other

I find those ppl that have never suffered and are asleep are the most dangerous arrogant evil ppl amongst us....

@sadiapsychology I agree with this to a degree my only objection is no family is perfect. I think the diff is if a person acknowledges their broken background and is seeking therapy and has the desire to be better.

And this, is how you change the world. Breaking intergenerational trauma creates change not just within the self and into family but even further outwardly across society.

I blame the movies for that brainless romanticism

Alhamdulillah sister Sadia, you're a great role model for Muslim women and girls

I always felt suspicious of this over emphasis on chemistry and didn’t understand where it was coming from. When I expressed this to a lot of other women would immediately say well don’t you want chemistry because it’s the fun bit etc some of these women were kind of bullying about this I didn’t realise that it was the sane stable part of me that was saying it’s nice but not the full picture.

I've heard it said "people can hide who they truly are for the first 90 days"...

This expert woman is too good ! It's 5.00 am in Paris right now 🇨🇵 I watch her performing on relationship (couple and parents with children), I'm too much impressed to leave without a comment and a subscription !! 👍🏽⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Going through divorce this really hit home,Sadia got the answers ,that guy is me,,oh lord she is like a prophet

I can't skip Sadia 😅 videos whenever I come across it.

thanks for publishing great, well balanced, insightful conversation

did he say... ..so in return... ? "...SO in return..." I suspect he is concealing his own misbehaviour in his 1st marriage. I'm glad he grew up.

Sparks are dangerous! You wouldnt sit in a room with sparks flying all over the place, you want good wiring. This is coming from a child who had 2 alcoholic parents😂

I think it’s important to point out yes YOU cannot change them but THEY can CHOSE to change themselves. If they worked on their acceptance and healing then healthy, secure relationships are possible. It take a lot of honesty though.

The issue should be the effects on children of relationship breakdowns and divorce.

I would love to hear you dive more into about women who come from broken homes. Such as myself I come from not only a broken home, but my parents divorced her young it was very toxic and disgusting, and the love and peace was hard to be found, and it led me down a really dark path Until I matured enough, and I have completely separated myself from my family because I want to be nothing like them. It is hard to engage with them, I don’t want a relationship with them at least their character. Believe me deep down, I wish things were different, but I can’t change them and I am doing so much work on myself to be the complete opposite. There are normally things that happen but for the most part I have peace in my life. And I’m very clear about what I want from a relationship and my partner. To the point that I have an amazing man in my life for the first time but our mental long-term goals do not lineup. It also is hard because he is Jewish and I am not. He has a daughter and I have no kids. And honest with myself, I’m not ready to Riesman else’s child, I cannot convert to religion and tradition. I know nothing about, nor is it in my heart to do so, even though what we share is really beautiful and rare, I know this is not the right relationship for me. I have broken things off and I want to not just date but be intentional and he is not. He doesn’t even know what he wants and that doesn’t work for me. I am not perfect. By any means, I don’t have it all figured out yet, but I am trying to do the work, and it is my intention to change the lineage in the legacy of my family and stopping generational curses and discussing toxic behaviors. I want someone who wants the same things I want. I want someone who wants to be a husband, I want someone who wants to be a father who wants to not just make me a wife, but truly a deep love for each other, and the willingness to do the work together With similar intentions of cultivating a beautiful in Healthy Home involving God. I have completely cut off anything and anyone that is chaotic, messy, bad behaviors, disrespect, people with low quality character, so I’d really love to hear you talk more about women who are actually doing the work, but comes from a broken home like my self. I am very selective of the people, lovers and friends that I allow around me. I’d do you have a bit of a vetting process that not many people make it through. And I’m not asking for anything I don’t have to go, but I’m also not excepting anything less. It’s not that I am just so deserving, but I know that I’m worthy and I know that I’m fully capable of creating having and maintaining everything I desire, but it goes both ways not just because I’m entitled that’s not my thought process at all. I’m not entitled I am earning, what I have been working so hard for. I am not close with my family. It is virtually impossible and I do not have a close relationship with my family. I am looking to create my own family with much different morals and values. With a safe and loving home. Where there is true love and true support and true unity an honest open and kind communication, but I can’t do that by myself. I have to have a partner who is on the same page and not just because they said so, but because their actions, their behavior shows it continuously and consistently just like mine.

I would pay a million to sit and talk with Sadia, I like your work

Your competition is their childhood. WOW!!!!! That hits hard!!!! That needs to be taught in college! A whole curriculum can be created from that!!

My husband is avoidant dependent (according to my therapist) - his parents had a very dysfunctional relationship- father had personality disorder & psychological problems - narcissistic borderline, and mother suffered as a result. I am suffering as a result- my husband himself has personality disorder, schizoid & narcissistic traits , is controlling & has dismissive avoidant bhvr. , and I married him on very short notice to escape an abusive mother& brother - a very hasty arranged marriage, and my marriage is a painful mess. Headed for divorce with a 15 year old son

Really interesting discussions and I'm looking forward to watching many more Sadia. You really seem to hit the nail on the head with a lot of people and circumstances, but one point that I'd like to be addressed is - what do people with traumatic childhoods do to navigate their way out of their situation? Wouldn't they be extremely dissatisfied in a relationship with a reassuring partner who loved them unconditionally? What is the way out for 90% of people who are broken? As you said, very few people escaped childhood unscathed. If they follow their gut, they'll keep making the same mistake over and over again. And if they meet someone who has high self-esteem and self worth, who cares for them 'properly', their new partner will see all of their red flags and leave them immediately. Would be great if you could address this paradox. Cheers!

I’m unfortunately going through this chaos in my marriage and unfortunately I think it’s inevitably heading in the wrong direction and what worries me the most is how this will effect my kids. I wish I would’ve known in the beginning.

How Your Childhood Trauma Effects Your Love Choices - Jonathon Aslay The Pitfalls Modern Dating- Jonathon Aslay Shocking Red Flag Women Miss When Dating - Jonathon Aslay Romance chemistry and attraction does not create relationship success. When you meet someone and feel, calm, at ease and safe, thats a good sign.

No families are perfect. No one I. This world has the absolute 100% perfect childhood.

He told the bone of the conversation in the end, his father going back can be the reason for his super strong and avoidance

I can definitely relate to falling in love with someone who may not be good for me, because I’ve become smitten my Sadia. 😉😍

Her facts are really clear

What she says, can also be applied to a man. And also; it doesen’t alwYs apply to people with ‘chaotic backgrounds.’ “Always sabotaging a healthy relationships because you had an unstable youth….” 🤦🏽‍♀️ Canceled ❤️‍🔥…

Sadia is so good!

Sadia, I absolutely love you, for the Wisdom Insight and knowledge you impart. THANK You 😊

Looking forward to experiencing the Studio

U replicate your self so we all can have you 😊

So we don't deserve love and we're going to pay for our upbringing? Is it my fault

This was a good podcast

It’s so sad to do a general statement on all women that come from a broken home. When in reality, coming from a broken home motivates me to not follow this type of cycle and chose wisely my partner and the future father of my children. I used to really like her but after this statement I’m very disappointed. Psychology teaches you not to put everyone in the same box.

Most two parent homes I've seen are the most dysfunctional homes I've come across.

I made the same experience what you said. And i was saying this to friends. you are really saying the right Thing. My ex always told me all i want is a familiy and i thought ok i can give it. But i cant. She keeps a brokes Person. Now we habe one kid and a broken familiy....

Wow she hits it on the nail

Where can i get the real complete interview ?

That’s nonsense. With this analogy, anyone and rebound is too traumatised to date or marry. If you’re looking for someone who will never meet a hardship, you’re simply unrealistic. Divorce doesn’t mean that people are equally traumatised or equally problematic. Nor does it mean that 2 people are traumatised or problematic. There could be financial reasons, lack of chemistry or compatibility, different worldview and approach to parenting, distance, etc. The world is filled with people who are traumatised who have amazing relationships. Then there are those who’s childhoods were AMAZING but their adult relationships are tumultuous. If everyone stops giving love, the world will have MORE traumatised people. Not less. Trauma stems from hatred, negativity, arguments, bad treatment, etc. the worlds surely NEEDS LOVE! Just because someone has been through a difficult time, it does not mean that they are traumatised to the point that they can’t spot or respond to love. Everyone is not equally traumatised or equally inept at handling their emotions. There are degrees and variations. You could meet someone who has had the BEST life but falls apart due to serious illness or a car accident. Also, giving love to someone who doesn’t want you doesn’t mean that the person had a bad childhood or that you did. It means that you cannot assess interest. Everything is not about trauma. Chemistry, compatibility and interest plays a big part. Lack of interest does not equal past trauma.

Wow I feel this is accurate

Best to leave broken women as they are. Bringing them into your house only break your house as well Steve Harvey is the classic example

Your understanding is amazing, but I'm sure these are textbook cases.

3 of my friends that did not live together before marriage and they are at Couple A are at 32 yrs together married for 27 this fall. Couple two 25 yrs and married for 23 yrs. Couple C 27 yrs/ Married 25 this fall. My other three friends that lived together before marriage. Couple D met in 1993/married in 96 and divorced in 2022. Couple E met in 2003. Lived together in 2004/ Married 2004/Split in 2008 and Divorced in 2009 with 2 bio kids and it was the woman’s second marriage they were both early 30’s.. No Remarriage for both so far as of 2023. Couple F met in 1988 last year of high school. Had 2 kids along the way got married in 1997 and have split up since 2018. All the kids are over 20 and the oldest turns 30 this year. One of my friends Son met his wife and lived with her. Then they got married and then they had kids and they are separated with 2 kids and the Divorce still needs to be final. My cousin lived with his wife before marriage. They had. A couple of kids and they are Divorced. One of my co workers lived with her fiancée before marriage and they did not make it to marriage. You know what I see is a problem. The Cohabbing before marriage does something to the couple. The non cohabbing seems to extend the marriages.

Choose your in-laws carefully 😅

Sometimes we work on stuff that really isn't our work to begin with ❤😅

This was interesting. ❤

It's oversimplified...I chose to walk away from a toxic family- and I refuse to be stigmatized for my healthy choice. Family can be a 'f' word- I have seen long term 'marriages' and 'families'- appear stable - but rampant sexual abuse and pedophilia...brother on sister...brother on brother...father with sons...uncle with nephews and nieces....etc....

Spot on!! So how does the avoidant become secure and vulnerable?

can you be both clingy and avoidant? switch between the two?

I’ve read the comments and I feel that Mrs. Khan’s statement might have been taken wrongly. I had a crap childhood and have been divorced twice- picked partners like my parents. Since becoming a Christian and working through the traumatic childhood junk - I’m free to meet a man who reciprocates my values.

Hello Sadia, no one chooses their childhood, what can one do if they came from a chaotic childhood in a chaotic home, to be better life patners to others, because the past cannot be changed, please advice us

She began by assuming his wife had come from chaotic background. Turns out this man had a broken family. His girls have come from same background yet one sees at relationship in a healthy way. He has debunked her some 4 times un this. She has a prejudiced mindset.

I disagree that a woman with a poor childhood seeks it as an adult. My soon-to-be ex-wife did not seek chaos, she wanted things a certain way just like I wanted things a certain way. The only chaos between us was there was a growing amount of instances where we weren't doing the same things or have the same interests. She thinks I outgrew her where all along I've patiently played the waiting game for her to grow into who she needs to be for herself and as a result what's best for the both of us. I was going to go to the very end with her if she would've with me.

to be honest, as a kid from a "broken home" this sounds very painful to hear. As a kid you don't choose your home. We are fighting, we want stability, it's just not all that easy. Idk, somehow this perspective of two people from "healthy" homes talking about people from "broken" homes hurt. Not saying they are wrong, it just feels very exclusive and excluding..

And how about a man from a broken home. And then, how can both fulfill their brokenness to strengthen themself and end the cycle for the family?

Affects of women in the services on men overall.

Strange one this, my ex was as mad as a box of frogs, her parents were exactly the same, manipulating, attention seeking, childish and lazy, she has two older sisters who are the complete opposite, both work and have beautiful homes. I always joke that I married the wrong sister

What is the effect about dating with widow women

Public comment. In any relationship between two persons needs trust and respect and care and commitment by understanding the principles of life. Questions why devorce ??

Hmmm tru.

People that have suffered and healed are the greatest people amongst us........jesus christ was crucified alive, and his suffering became the worlds healer.....

Broken home means no love from parents because parents separated still both can give good love to thier children

just one question why do these videos always stop like in the middle of the interview??????????

So childs from broken homes are cursed to never find healthy love? besides having the curse of unhealthy parents? I dont think so! We can heal ourselves :)

Really? So people who are coming from broken homes and traumatic upbringing have no chance on true love? These are really very mean stereotyping and non-evidence based banters

He’s logged in my ig account 😂😩 he saw the complaint

This women is teaching us things ,that she is rong dooing. She is in Dubai,way,easy money and this say everything

only when she dont heal . pls learn spirituality

It’s all word salad for me. Sadia! Childish mentality in an Adult body. Confusing love for lust. Love booming the beautiful girls and bypassing the ugly. Dating without intention or strategy. One way thinking. Divorcing with a plan to maintain a household that was carried by two income. There is too much to unpack and a majority of issues are unique to the individuals. You know what, maybe I’m over thinking it.

One women I have seen in my life who can speak with brain 🧠 ❤❤❤

That nasty tendency some interviewers have to be so self-referential is truly unbearable. It seemed like a personal therapy session.

Why are you pushing this agenda? There are so many women right now in their 20s that are working on changing their energy and subconscious. Why would this analysis be beneficial to these same women who are looking for a safe space down the road? I don't understand why there's no room for leniency for those who change their lives. A man who disrupts his home, causes pain to the daughter and you blame the daughter?

women down whatz up luis

Brilliant, but I hope it doesn’t go to your head.

This woman contradict her self big time, she supposedly teaches woman on how to choose the right parthner plus other advices, but she doesn't know who to find a man for herself, because she has huge number of red flags for every man she meet and if one flag raises, then that's it, the guy doesn't meet her "standards", it is just pure ego and narcisim. She will turn 50 being single, lowering those standards, you will see it happening

You are over generalizing and judging, both are unhealthy and unfortunately you’re promoting those as facts and it could greatly harm others.

Wow this unnatractive guy, his first wife left him, and he got a new foreign honey! and he is complaining about his first wife! Look in the mirror buddy! the foreign honey is here for the us citizenship - not because you are so desirable!

Sadia 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

They're definitely not semi-trauma responses for everyone as a whole, wrong.

I love your videos but why your videos are never complete ? 🫤