Emotional Intelligence: What is it, and do you have it?

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Emotional Intelligence: What is it, and do you have it?

Рет қаралды 38,653

Күн бұрын

👩‍❤️‍👨 My relationship course: psychologywith...
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In this video, I discuss how emotional intelligence is defined in the research, the two main theories of emotional intelligence (trait EI vs. ability EI), and the methodological issues with this research. I also run through an example about how a person high in emotional intelligence vs. low in emotional intelligence might act in a hypothetical scenario and provide some questions to help guide you towards emotional intelligence.
Time Stamps:
0:00 Intro
1:08 What is EI?
7:17 Which theory I prefer
8:21 How a low-EI vs. high-EI person might act
11:57 Questions to ask yourself
Intro music: Church of 8 Wheels by Otis McDonald
Outro music: Lensko Let’s Go
References:
Fiori, M., & Vesely-Maillefer, A. K. (2018). Emotional intelligence as an ability: Theory, challenges, and New Directions. The Springer Series on Human Exceptionality, 23-47. doi.org/10.100...
Petrides, K. V. (2010). Trait Emotional Intelligence Theory. Industrial and Organizational Psychology, 3(2), 136-139. doi.org/10.111...

Пікірлер: 140

@lolzforlunch 5 ай бұрын

i had an ex say im very emotionally intelligent, but my constant negative feedback loops always makes me feel unsure about the good things said about me

@OpticIlluzhion 5 ай бұрын

The fact that you're aware of the negative thought loops in the first place already puts you ahead of many people

@Macheako 5 ай бұрын

If they said it AFTER yall broke up, good chance it’s probably true 😂❤

@Navalkkkkkkkkkkkk 5 ай бұрын

I do empathise with people and understand their emotions. Where I fall short is regulating my own emotions relating to theirs. Maybe it because I grew up in a chaotic home where strong emotions always met with unpleasant fights and arguments.

@helitopia3758 5 ай бұрын

Yep

@caseyj7052 5 ай бұрын

same same same

@shravanipatil9085 5 ай бұрын

it is the same case with me

@GirlCalledKau 5 ай бұрын

Oh yes

@deltaboukensha 26 күн бұрын

EQ teaches us to STOPP before figths and arguments as they bring a lot of negativity to relationships

@Anya-bm9fy 5 ай бұрын

I would love a 5 hour video about emotional intelligence I'm trying to work on mine and I also just love listening rational and intelligent people

@DistortedV12 4 ай бұрын

Same

@helitopia3758 5 ай бұрын

I often heard that being able to dive in other peoples perpective is a skill, not many people now a days have and is one of the most important to learn.

@AsdrubaleRossi 5 ай бұрын

For me the hardest part of developing my emotional intelligence is understanding that many things that are totally fine for me hurt others and vice-versa. My way of thinking is so different from everyone else around me that I always have to imagine how would a normal person feel to understand others' emotions, and cannot expect most people to really understand my emotions.

@illdie314 5 ай бұрын

Another question I like to ask myself is "Where does this emotion come from?" Oftentimes when I find myself getting angry about something, I find it useful to figure out if I'm actually angry because of whatever happened in the moment to make me feel that way or if that actually just triggered another underlying emotion that I'm feeling to rise to the surface

@bonaaq86 5 ай бұрын

Whenever I do this with frustration I swear it comes from fucking nowhere, the rest of the emotions are easy to track lol

@Macheako 5 ай бұрын

Same, I always ask myself “am I REALLY upset cuz of *fill-in-the-blank* …or am I just pissed cuz I got 4 hours a sleep again?” 😂❤

@blinkur09mom 5 ай бұрын

This is very helpful. There’s someone in my husbands immediate family that at times shows signs that they’re not necessarily happy to see me around, like they’ll roll their eyes, won’t talk to me when I’m in the same group setting with them and it’s just myself, them and my husband, and they never ask me anything about myself. They only speak to me when they talk about their issues and it’s more of a me being a sounding board situation. I never flat out asked if they are ok when they roll their eyes because it doesn’t seem like the appropriate time. I think moving forward I’ll have to change my approach

@abrilcorominajavier9150 5 ай бұрын

they should change their approach, not you. if you are open to talk and fix the problems between you and they are rolling their eyes at you, it's their fault, they are just being rude for no reason. And you can always ask, but just know that you shouldn't adapt to a situation where you aren't treated how you deserve.

@FabledAllOut 5 ай бұрын

I'd say I have average emotional intelligence, which I'm actually just a little bit proud of given my background. I've seen it could be much worse. I'm very good at detecting when people are feeling a certain way but it often initially gives me pretty intense anxiety, especially if they're angry. I then quickly go on to stage two which is a brief period of taking whatever their feeling personally and beginning a kind of internal defence of myself. I recognise that this isn't usually rational and don't voice any of it. I give myself a minute to think more on what might be upsetting the person and then try to ask a gentle, empathetic question to figure out if it's something they want to talk about. It has worked pretty well for me so far, but it helps a ton that my wife has always been open and honest with her emotions and I think it has made me a better person over time. I'm really happy to hear that according to this at least I'm doing okay. Team "Be the opposite of your father" wins again, lmao.

@Devin9331_ 5 ай бұрын

Definitely on the low end but I will listen to this video and take notes.

@chrisguard696 4 ай бұрын

"my dude, you actually seem pretty emotional" lol - love it

@rysiii811 22 күн бұрын

"Deep" insight into the arguement, not just a random opinion, undelined by SEEM as factor to dissolve responsibility for an opinion. Sad simplification imo, not fan of the guy btw

@Aloof_Buddha 5 ай бұрын

Any chess players always think its their move whenever Ana uses the popout sound effect in her recent videos?

@jamil-io 5 ай бұрын

hahaha

@SamuraiPipotchi 5 ай бұрын

2:57 I'm honestly not surprised to hear that this series of traits came from self-assessed people. As I was looking at it, all I could see was a loose description of charisma... except I’ve found that emotionally-aware people are often really uncharismatic when they don't have the right environment or prompts.

@Efalonda 5 ай бұрын

I had such a horrible therapist on Regain who literally tried to tell me emotional intelligence is the ability to supress emotions. Melanie H. It was so dangerous

@lucasessman1910 5 ай бұрын

Lol thats wild

@emisunflowers 5 ай бұрын

Something that's been difficult for me to understand as a late-diagnosed autistic person is the limits of my emotional intelligence. I've always been described by others as very caring and empathetic, but i also have a hard time communicating with people unless i feel i have a handle on what's happening and feel safe. And it's hard to read facial expressions ans tone especially if i don't know someone well. It can be hard for me to distinguish between genuine understanding and educated guessing based on remembering past situations. Something which I've learned to do to compensate for my innate lack of emotional intelligence in certain areas is to just ask people questions about how they're feeling if I'm not sure. Not in a pushy way, but just so i can be there for them if they need me to be and also just be a better conversation partner. I realize I'll likely never be able to perform the level of reciprocity in conversations that neurotypical people are just able to express naturally, but i try my best. I've masked my autism my whole life and nobody really realized until i was under enough stress that i couldn't mask it anymore.

@Macheako 5 ай бұрын

The only short coming with asking people is what happens if they don’t even know what they’re feeling either? 😂❤ But that’s not to say you aren’t smart for doing so. If you aren’t sure, that’s probably the next best thing you could do for em ❤

@emisunflowers 5 ай бұрын

@@MacheakoThat's fair tbh. There's not a lot I can do then besides comfort them/give them the space they need/talk it through with them, etc. I do what I can.

@Macheako 5 ай бұрын

@@emisunflowers yea I didn’t actually have an answer myself 😂 but that works lol

@MrJoxxxi 5 ай бұрын

I don't think I have high emotional intelligence, but all my adult life I spent in Zen practice, psychodynamic therapy and use of magic plants, all this to say that I have improved that I think I'm not even the person I was before I stared the inner work. However I still don't behave as I wish, often I give people unsolicited lectures on topics that I'm interested at the moment( when I hear "you should make a KZfaq channel" I know I crossed the line), I'm very intellectual and easily get fired up sometimes ....

@Misterfonn 5 ай бұрын

Hi Dr. Ana!! Great Job!! I went through DBT Twice!! Helped me with my ASD!! It’s made a world of difference in my life as a late diagnosed High Functioning Autistic!! Thank You for your Hard Work!! 1st Comment!

@middledog466 5 ай бұрын

that's awesome. i honestly was really worried about doing dbt because i wasn't sure if the groups would take neurodivergence into account. i ended up not doing it because my therapist kind of insinuated that i was not talking responsibility for something that i now realize is my autism and i am the one who needs support s

@youvebeenpoisoned5018 5 ай бұрын

I'm in my first year of study in psychology, and I was really confused by how personality is measured... We all want to say that we're good at emotional stuff, which is not always the case!! Thanks for your video, I always love ur stuff 💜

@TheCODGUY21 5 ай бұрын

I like this new format you have been doing recently instead of an extensive script

@koreighlee 5 ай бұрын

Your hair looks so cute in this video! 🥰

@archiemarqx 5 ай бұрын

Based on descriptions, I believe that I am on the higher end of the spectrum, but if someone asks if I'm emotionally intelligent, I usually say that I am intermediate-low in emotional intelligence.

@KP-5928 5 ай бұрын

lol ben shapiro screaming "facts don't care about your feelings" with a crazed look in his eye is truly one of the most entertaining hypocrisies to witness

@carloslemos6919 3 ай бұрын

People's feelings are affected by facts, not the other way around. That's what he mean.

@dxcSOUL 2 ай бұрын

@@carloslemos6919 No that's not what he means lol. Seems like you might have low eq :(

@carloslemos6919 2 ай бұрын

@@dxcSOUL How so?

@tymondabrowski12 2 ай бұрын

@@carloslemos6919 I thought he meant that you can't change reality just because you really want to. The facts will stay the same no matter how you feel about them. However I've never heard it in context.

@lululolo200 5 ай бұрын

Maybe I‘m not as emotionally intelligent as I thought I was. I‘d say I‘m pretty empathetic but I often feel like how they feel is my fault and get defensive

@Macheako 5 ай бұрын

Yea, no lol it’s DEFINITELY not always your fault ❤ emotions are kinda like a group project. Sure, one person could do all the work 😂 or yall could work together lol

@ktefccre 5 ай бұрын

😿👍 my girlfriend broke up with me recently. She complained that I wasn't connecting with her emotionally because I always bottle up my feelings 😢

@digitaldina 5 ай бұрын

sry you're doing through that - it's good sometimes you will realize later on it's better that way, if you got into something you're not emotionally readily for it could hurt your self and well being (as well as hers) more than the emotional pain of ending that attachment

@ktefccre 5 ай бұрын

@@digitaldina Ok 😿👍

@michiko_nox 5 ай бұрын

💀

@lucasessman1910 5 ай бұрын

The cat emoji lol

@lucasessman1910 5 ай бұрын

Bro said ok 😿

@rennoc6478 5 ай бұрын

I’m good at knowing what others are feeling, or at least I think I am, helping them (or myself) feel better is where I fall short

@betagamma18 5 ай бұрын

I have the type of emotional intelligence that's very high in some regards, very low in others. I can keenly perceive when someone is feeling different than usual, but my self-motivation and relationships need work. Expressions are hard too.

@kelinakay7023 4 ай бұрын

I enjoyed this one❤ Thank you

@brandondegraaf 5 ай бұрын

A former partner struggled with her emotions. Not fun. She said she felt the weight of the world on her shoulders after I left. I felt the opposite, just from not having to manage her emotions. I am looking for high emotional intelligence in my next partner.

@paulrhyne4 20 күн бұрын

There are few exceptions of people who truly are what they claim, but few they are!

@WordOnDaStreetsTv 5 ай бұрын

The study will show if 2 people are given the same stressful and endurance task and put a person through a humiliating situations then interview them what was their thinking in order not to break.

@kristofr6862 5 ай бұрын

Very interesting video as always! I love you channel, and have a suggestion. The fast-paced editing and sometimes lack of small pauses in between different thoughts, can make it a bit difficult to follow and take in all the information. I sometimes need to pause the video and rewind when your monologue shifts to fast from one sentence to the next. English is my second language, so I might be a bit slower than others, but I believe everyone would understand your message more easily if the flow of speech was edited with a little bit more breathing room. I hope this input is helpful. Regardless, keep up the amazing work! Your channel has teached me a lot of important things about myself and human nature in general.

@kevintse2870 5 ай бұрын

I definitely have more emotional intelligence now than I did 5 years ago.

@Earthstar444 5 ай бұрын

I'm on low end and trying to keep out of the deep end

@user-ip4ko3yt2z 5 ай бұрын

It's so helpful and captivating! Thank you so much ❤

@m2pozad 5 ай бұрын

I learned about Emotional Intelligence (EQ) from Daniel Goleman's book.

@adamcartisano313 5 ай бұрын

Feedback: You certainly picked a great topic! The flow is much easier to engage with than some of your other videos; this one felt much more organic. You asked us to self report in the comments lol. I would say I am of average EI, since I don't know where others lie and I am very aware of how many times I get thee things wrong. That being said... I'm watching a psychology video, like everyone else here, so there's definitely a sampling bias :)

@abrahammorales3266 5 ай бұрын

This is a great topic!

@Sunshya 5 ай бұрын

thanks!! I'd love a deeper dive into this!

@felixr.6438 5 ай бұрын

Damn girl, you're shining!

@BigToinE976 5 ай бұрын

I believe that up to 6-7 years ago, I had a very very low emotional intelligence (I'm 26), but that since 5 years I've made good progress. I think I still struggle a lot to iddentify and verbalise my emotions in the moment (I need some time and thinking to do that), but I feel I can iddentify other's emotions quite fast, although I'm not confident I can help other's dealing with theirs.

@Raven_Frame 5 ай бұрын

I think all a person can do is think back on their previous interactions with people, and honestly reflect on how they've perceived and treated them. If you've sincerely acted with emotional intelligence, you can move forward with that evidence backing you. If you find yourself lacking, you can improve on that. And if you can't honestly reflect with yourself, well I'd say you lack emotional intelligence.

@MissesChrissi 5 ай бұрын

I think I am somewhere in the middle. But I can definitely say, that my emotional intelligence increased over time. I used to be very bad at regulating my emotions, but now I have gotten really well at communicating, understanding and taking my partners emotions at face value, without my insecurities getting me riled up. One situation that I actually don't know how to asses is that I recognize the emotion of a particular person, but I dont react to them anymore, because I think it enables them ohherwise to be stuck at this constant need for reassurance. However, most of my friends still continue to comfort them. So I dont know if I am doing the right or the wrong thing.

@anacastaneda6960 5 ай бұрын

I do believe EI is something you can actively work on and improve. I noticed since I was a kid how hard it was for me to understand others and read their emotions, predict their reactions, I was highly reactive myself, etc. After years of research and practice, I do believe I have a higher lvl of EI and I've seen it reflected in me understanding myself and others better, people liking me more, and me being able to predict what they'll do if I act a certain way, et . Then again, maybe it's just me thinking I've improved 😂

@CesarSandoval024 5 ай бұрын

Hey ana wassup 🎉

@alangoldarocha2662 5 ай бұрын

kombucha is great in many aspects! if it's not home brewed, you should try getting one that is. Night-day difference from store bought; best kombucha I've tried was made by myself, and it was quite easy. Thank you for the vid :)

@lucasessman1910 5 ай бұрын

Healthy girlies

@yar3333 4 ай бұрын

@@lucasessman1910Alan is a man's name.

@Ken19700 4 ай бұрын

I don't know how emotionally intelligent I am but I can tell you that I'm more emotionally intelligent now at 53 than I was when I was 23.

@michaelshannon9169 5 ай бұрын

Something most ppl lack significantly

@GirlCalledKau 5 ай бұрын

I don't have a great emotional intelligence or regulation so i have come here to learn.

@thomasstanhouse6224 5 ай бұрын

I want to start with a question that I hope you see: What do you think are the similarities and differences between emotional intelligence and stoicism? The people around me tell me that I have high emotional intelligence, and so I thought I had high emotional intelligence, but this video makes me think that I might not haha 😅 but if I really think about it, you’re not saying you don’t have emotions or don’t get into states where you might not be able to navigate stoically in the heat of the moment. It’s more like you can recognize when you get emotional and can process it so you can use the information properly. People told me I should be a teacher in part because of this, so I did and I think I’m alright at it lol. Anyways, that rambling is what made me think of the question, because sometimes I’m not as stoic as I would like to be, but I think I’m still emotionally intelligent. But I do think it takes some emotional intelligence to be genuinely stoic.

@doublebee_ 5 ай бұрын

Thanks for the video !

@aubreyj.tennant1123 5 ай бұрын

Great vid! This may sound like splitting hairs but I like to use the word ‘regulatel’ instead of ‘manage’. Manage has a forced outcome sense vs regulate has a controlled sense. IMO. 😊

@philipholding 5 ай бұрын

I think EM is a blanket construct, incorporating an ambiguios mishmash of other psychological theories and concepts. For example, theory of mind, empathy, altrusim, social awareness. etc.

@surveyor1515 5 ай бұрын

Thanks for sharing, Ana… 🤨

@notnotandrew 5 ай бұрын

Why the seeming dichotomy between trait and ability EI? I would imagine that EI, like many things, has both nature and nurture components. That said, I agree that it’s more productive and healthy to focus on ability EI since it promotes a growth mindset.

@DistortedV12 4 ай бұрын

Can you do another vid on this? I think this is my fav one from you

@danielrasmr 5 ай бұрын

Hey, i just wanted to say i appreciate your videos and have been watching for a couple years now but have been watching a lot more recently. Thanks for sharing your knowledge and insights !

@Zigzog420 4 ай бұрын

On the higher end but definitely could improve.

@MorbidlyObeseTyreese 5 ай бұрын

Do you think its possible to have low emotional intelligence whilst also lacking empathy or exhibiting above average sociopathy? Its interesting because I notice that the best examples I can contrive of people exhibiting emotional intelligence is in a compassionate manner but maybe there are those out there that are emotionally intelligent but it just doesn't appear that way because they perceive emotional signals from others but do not have the compassion or care to manage them. Or maybe I'm just rationalizing for myself LOL.

@still_leuna 5 ай бұрын

I also want to know. I know that cognitive empathy is seperate from emotional empathy, and that people with for example NPD or ASPD tend to be better at CE but lack EE. Is cognitive empathy synonymous with emotional intelligence?

@ElLoboNegro559 5 ай бұрын

Thanks

@sectorcodec 5 ай бұрын

I feel I’m very good at determining others emotions and I’ve often been told that by other people but I find I struggle to understand and read my own emotions on the same level. So I’m not sure what that says for my emotional intelligence…

@notnotandrew 5 ай бұрын

I think an understanding of trait EI can be helpful when we consider others’ perspectives and behaviors. If someone is a bit awkward and displays low EI, the charitable and sympathetic assumption to make would be to ascribe this to low trait EI, as this conclusion is less judgmental and imputes less fault. After all, you don’t know what struggles someone else is dealing with.

@shoftim 5 ай бұрын

INFJ-T ... depends on my mood.

@collinleach 5 ай бұрын

Hidden Brain podcast and other publishings from Shankar Vedantam offer an array of insights and practices pertinent for EQ.

@dxcSOUL 2 ай бұрын

Ability EI makes a lot more sense to me. Due to my upbringing, I can't say that I hit all the self-scored traits in Trait EI. That said, my perception is high, and I understand how people feel more often than not. So I would guess I have high Ability EI?

@Dimamoksit 5 ай бұрын

Is it inevitable to become so tied to how someone else seems to be feeling in a romantic partnership or relationship that it determines how the other feels... Like if it's negative, nothing seems to function or move forward unless resolved? Is that over attachment or codependent in an unproductive way?

@TotalFutbolAcademy 5 ай бұрын

Dr. Ana, you look stunning.

@Scruffed 5 ай бұрын

Obviously I might not be the best to judge myself in terms of emotional intelligence, and I am not entirely convinced that emotional intelligence should be a thing, as it seems to include a wide array of traits that don't necessarily have to go together and could be judged separately from one another. I'd say I'm not that good at identifying what I'm feeling at any given moment unless what I'm feeling is very biological (like hunger, comfort, etc), or very intense (which doesn't happen often). I'm average at best when it comes to other people's emotions, I'd have to know the person well to pick up on their emotions if they're subtle or hidden, I will mentally register their emotions if they're somewhat obvious (tricky threshold), but I won't necessarily see myself as being obliged to offer a remedy if their emotions are negative and they're not asking for it. I consider myself better than most at regulating my own emotions, controlling my impulses, and at taking other people's emotions and feelings into account before deciding how to act and express myself, at putting myself in other people's shoes, and at understanding other people's perspectives. So, if I scored myself 1-10 what would I be, 4 or 5 ish?

@CesarSandoval024 5 ай бұрын

This Dr. Lady has a pretty face...

@MrQuantumInc 5 ай бұрын

The Emo kid said to the Nerd: "Turns out I am smarter than you!"

@AsdrubaleRossi 5 ай бұрын

I have high rational intelligence (IQ?), but naturally low emotional intelligence. My ex girlfriend had even higher IQ than me. While it was interesting to be with her, I find my wife helps me much more in becoming the best version of myself, because she has high emotional intelligence and we can learn from each other.

@starwhisper8717 2 ай бұрын

Im not emotionally intelligent at all. I thought i might have gained a little skill in it recently, but probably not. Ive known i lack all this since childhood, likely due to an emotionally abusive childhood.

@Bak2BasiKs 5 ай бұрын

Is it possible for someone to have a high emotional intelligence but then not act according to what they know is right?

@peteresk6649 5 ай бұрын

Emotional intelligence is the same as street intelligence, not all gangsters are emotionally intelligent though

@rahimramonromero2793 Ай бұрын

Hi there can you help me about my partner her emotion quite I don't understand she's only concern to her emotion

@MrRatMommy 5 ай бұрын

hi Ana, tbh i found your structured videos better and easier to understand. this one confused me and i dont know clearly whats thw point and where. compared to other videos qhere you said how moany points youd name and maybe even in the beginning od all as a mini summary.

@helo218 5 ай бұрын

Sooo I got close relationships with my girls, talking lives and feelings and stuff, but I realize now I’ve only been asking myself « what am I feeling rn » for liiike… a week or so?😂

@birdbeakbeardneck3617 5 ай бұрын

can someone have both iq and eq good

@Bak2BasiKs 5 ай бұрын

Would it be reasonable to say that if one is not necessarily successful yoyu can not neccesarily have high emotional intelligence because the level of adversity faced might not be high?

@kevintse2870 5 ай бұрын

BTW, is your novel on Audible?

@susscrofamustermann9688 5 ай бұрын

I used to be quite low in emotional intelligence. Undiagnosed/untreated ADHD made me pay little attention to subtle cues, and my own struggle with rejection sensitivity made everyone's emotions about me not being good enough, even if I did perceive them correctly, so my engagement with them was more about managing my own emotions rather than being able to engage with what other people had going on. After getting ADHD treatment and getting into therapy for my other demons, I have improved a lot, and I've managed to become a person my friends can lean and rely on.

@Whofan9211 5 ай бұрын

For me, I have to self regulate on purpose; I get heated when talking about controversial stuff. When I think I'm right and making perfect sense, it's difficult for me not to fly off the handle a little bit.

@Star-dj1kw 4 ай бұрын

❤ excellent

@reth89999 5 ай бұрын

make a detailed video on g factor and its validity

@999sk09 5 ай бұрын

EQ IS BETTER and Imp 😮 oR IQ 🤔🤔🤔

@zxz8443 5 ай бұрын

Hi Dr. Ana, is the connection course permanent or are you planning to stop offering the connection course in the future?

@Ken19700 5 ай бұрын

What do you think of VIA Character strengths?

@michelles9897 5 ай бұрын

💟

@WordOnDaStreetsTv 5 ай бұрын

I built my Emotional Intelligence from Reactive attachment disorder..

@victoriafiend 4 ай бұрын

Please make a podcast

@paulrhyne4 20 күн бұрын

❤

@Madirosepsalms 5 ай бұрын

❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

@techsavy6077 5 ай бұрын

Nowdays you have removed option for downloading your videos for offline viewing???

@adamlang125 5 ай бұрын

🎉 Promo-SM

@oliverrojas3185 5 ай бұрын

Naturally low

@BaritoneMonkey 5 ай бұрын

For now. You can get better 🙂

@criostoirashtin11 5 ай бұрын

Emotional intelligence is a oxymoron. Having control over your emotional state is emotionally intelligent. Using rational and being pragmatic

@deltaboukensha 26 күн бұрын

you have a weak understanding of EQ

@StarChildInABubble 5 ай бұрын

Emotional Intelligence is not really an intelligence.

@CesarSandoval024 5 ай бұрын

Emotional awareness thats what they mean

@dustshelterinc3242 5 ай бұрын

Emotion intelegent oh yeah yeah give me a break

@KoolAidSquirt 5 ай бұрын

“Facts don’t care about feelings” is true though. Also it depends on what manner it was said in. If a person says it in an assertive or aggressive way then yes, it’s being said out of emotion as opposed to being said in a calm manner. But all that is irrelevant. It doesn’t take away from the point. Also it’s funny how you said “my dude you actually seem pretty emotional” when you literally said “my dude” with emotion behind it. Must of struck a nerve that Shapiro.

@enviableace9987 5 ай бұрын

First

@beefinsdgmail Ай бұрын

Loved the video. Very informative and enlightening. Some advice, from just my perspective anyway, slow it down just a little bit. Not sure if it’s how quickly you explain or talk, or if it’s all the quick video cutting, but I found I had to rewind a few times to make sure I fully understood what you were explaining. But again, that’s just me, and I really did enjoy the video. Thanks so much!

@I_would_like_to_buy_an_E 5 ай бұрын

what's the research say on emotional intelligence? is it something that can be relied upon or is it as tenuous as Intelligence Quotient?

@vanessam157 5 ай бұрын

I NEED advice. My boyfriend tells me that he doesn’t feel “seen” with me and when I ask him what I could do to make him feel seen, he says that I’m supposed to know. My thing is, what the hell does he mean when he doesn’t feel seen like sir 🧍🏽‍♀️. I’m really trying and want him to trust me but it’s hard because he always brings this up :/

@g-5615 5 ай бұрын

It can be hard to know. At some point it is also on them to be able to open up, since communication goes both ways. It sucks when it feels like the other person doesn't want to share what they actually think and you're left to interpret, and sometimes there isn't even anything going on and you're left overanalyzing over nothing. Some people are harder to read than others, but if he refuses to open up even when you do so yourself, and has made it clear that you try really hard to get him to do the same, then at that point it is on him to reciprocate and try to formulate what he actually feels. It can be hard, but it's not something you should blame yourself for, you can't figure other people out for them.

@CesarSandoval024 5 ай бұрын

Give him a beer lol

@yar3333 4 ай бұрын

I think "you should know" is passive aggression or at least a manipulation. This is bad for healthy relationships.