This book reviews really helped me with my writing! And I realized that I'm not that bad at it too. :D

It's basically a helpful guideline to show your work can be improved and to make sure spellcheck is on

Toe to Tip That's a Bart I shall be your 1,000th like have a nice day!

Toe to Tip That's a Bart fucking hilarious 😂😂😂

I have all three of his books and am currently reading them aloud to my boyfriend. It's been hilarious.

The amount of time I've explained things as '' the thing for you know the thing'' It's like I'm bilingual how am I blanking this bad? You know the saying "I'm bilingual meaning I can make an ass of myself in two languages" 😁

if i had a dollar every time i stopped in the middle of a sentence bc i forgot a word in english i'd be a billionaire

I'm learning Spanish and used to be conversational in German, but this is _still_ me in English. If I talk to someone fluent in all three, maybe I'll finally sound like a functioning human.

I have a bilingual friend who will just translate things into english. For example: Him: You're rubbing against my foot with yours? Are you foot flirting? Me: Foot flirting? Him: You know, when you play with each other's feet under the table Me: You mean playing footsie? Him: ... WHAT

Cecil W that and (well at least me) we’ll have like, go to words in that first language? It’s too much of my muscle memory and I’ll say entschuldigung instead of excuse me when I bump into someone.

Janet Cheddar I read two pages and have not pick it up since. Boring

Thank you

Louder for the people in the back!

´You got a Trauma´ -> -1 Charisma, -1 Wisdom

@@Aix_Plainer not necessarily. Wisdom can be earned and developmed in their situation. Charisma is just being attractive and lots of survivors can be that

Can't that also describe the last 50 Shades book?

Anatole Assahola sounds like a guy that, if this book were ever adapted, would be played by someone who would so hateful that it would be unwatchable.

That almost sounds like School Days... 🤔

21:20: Frankly, thats B.S. Where do you get this from?

@@slevinchannel7589 What the hell are you talking about? Don't tell me you are a sex addict in denial

Haha hahaha 1😂😂

Yes.

Lierin York lmaooo

@ I mean, Jame's books are a plague upon humanity, so I think the analogy is accurate.

Oh fuck you , you're probably right

Crabby McCrab I cackled at “more orgasmic than all of her bibliography” thank you so much

Oh boy yeah

I think you set the bar waaaay to low... 🤣

I must agree!

It's good, my reaction is checking if the characters know each other's favourite color. If they don't, that's so fast paced it's practically insta love

Probably true but please, for the love of God, never compare Heinz Doofenshmirtz to e.l James again.

@@SorowFame Doofenshmirtz is too good for that

See, that’s the core issue, isn’t it? “Long story short“ isn’t part of her vocabulary.

@@jdatlas4668 She would write 3 whole books describing just that, then another 4 describing how it happened

It felt weird seeing the name of my neighboring country. Is that an actual quote?

My life is now anti life

Do you mean you ~ rapidly ceased to exist ~ ?

@@ohmiasi2538 you mean ripped apart and crushed to make it

You a tree peep

@@ohmiasi2538 oh god the onions!!!

Wow really??

@@nerdieone1 Lol, pretty sure he doesn't even know who she is.

And he was fantastic. It was hilarious.

Lmao, I saw it and he was too tame imo. Also @EL James doing "extensive research" on anything looool. 😂😂

...Holy Hell, it’s real!

Some people are lucky enough to be able to forget Cassandra Claire...

@@victoriashevlin8587 she was a fanfic author?

@@athenajaxon2397 yeah in the Harry Potter fandom

I love that you care so much about good story telling that you're prepared to spend so long deconstructing a terrible book.

Yup, it's really hard trying to get people to take fanfiction seriously when they immediately associate it with shit like this

Bruh id pay so much money to get that on a t-shirt

That motto though has me dying.

Love it so far

I NEED TO SEE THIS

Let me know when it's available.

Accurate

@Leaf nah we just like war

Okay, I'm feeling a little called out. But 2$ for lunch or dinner cant be beat.

Replace Coca Cola with Pepsi.

TaoScribble replace Pepsi with beer

DrPepper 280 is that seriously a thing in modern day?

@@ibeamy They still exist but most of them don't have actual political power any more. There is the House of Lords (part of our system of government) but you need more than a title to get in there. They can have some clout still but that's only because they tend to have lots of money and own land and that gets you ahead in most countries. Also some more traditional-minded types, particularly in the countryside, are impressed by titles but that's getting less and less of a thing. The royal family is another matter of course, but anything below them is just a fancy title.

@@GriffinPilgrim And what does the royal family do aside from sit around in an obscenely fancy house and wave at cameras?

​@@etcetera1995 Not much, day to day. But my point was unlike most of the aristocracy they do still have a hereditary position of power, albeit only de jure. And the more important members do therefore at least have some paperwork to fill out from time to time. The chances of any British monarch actually utilising their power at this point is basically zero but technically the Queen is still the head of state for the entire Commonwealth which includes the UK, Antigua and Barbuda, Australia, The Bahamas, Barbados, Belize, Canada, Grenada, Jamaica, New Zealand, Papua New Guinea, Saint Kitts and Nevis, Saint Lucia, Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, The Solomon Islands and Tuvalu. That's a touch more than the average guy with a big house and a useless title.

up the republic

Haha Absolutely agree

And she can keep it!

@VayHeksAir 1998 Colleen Hoover claims the Romantic Abuse genre. Codependency and toxicity are her books' main selling point.

Anna Banana honestly sounds like a Wattpad story or a story on Episode 😂

@@rach3092 So true that it hurts my soul.

Was it a reference to a song "We're all living in America" or something like that?

@@MartybaRyba Nothing comes to mind to be honest but if it is a song I'd love to check it out

@@sivula17 The song that immediately came to my mind when I heard that phrase was "Amerika" by Rammstein. They're my favorite band, so my opinion here is biased, but I think it's really good and clever. I'm German myself so I don't need a translation for the lyrics, but I'm sure there's one available. I hope I could help :)

kzfaq.info/get/bejne/iNhon82DzMmufoE.html

ZuraZentiara that’s what I thought as well “We’re all living in Amerika, Coca-Cola, sometimes war”

30+ soccer moms

People who see the Twilight series as romantic?

The thing is that this is an entire worldview in itself, and there are women out there who genuinely believe this is how romance should work. At least the conversation is out there on why these books are bad and dangerous. Not sure if it gets to these people.

If E.L James had just written these as sexual fantasies for women, and not something to emulated in real life, they'd be fine. But E.L. James seems to genuinely this this is romantic and her work has brainwashed people into thinking the same, so yeah, fuck her.

James is a genuinely dangerous and creepy person. This work and 50 Shades are a threat to its more ignorant readers.

In shows and stuff I see a lot of foreign characters switch into their native for simple words like yes or no, but is that as common in reality as it is in shows?

@@datguy5272 I will not claim that it never ever happens, since I don't know every bilingual person on this planet, but I've never done it or witnessed it. "Yes", "no" and so on are the easiest to commit to memory and very soon become pretty automatic. What happens often is forgetting how to say "train", stuttering and instead saying "the fast thing that goes on rails". What movies and tv shows tend to get right though is swearing. I tend to switch to my first language when swearing and I know a lot of people who do.

@@easternlights3155 thanks for the information man

@@datguy5272 as a bilingual i find it happens a lot more when surprised or in great emotion. for example when i bump into someone on the street i would instinctively say 'sorry' in my first language instead of english even though i'm abroad. 'yes' and 'no', as eastern lights mentions, are pretty basic words that are often the first ones you remember when learning a language and don't really slip out that often - or, completely opposite, slip out the most BECAUSE they're so basic. (it's kind of like with maths; the more complicated things you learn the more difficult the basics might become, at least in my experience). it's probably also different for everyone - if a person is more prone to anxiety or something they might be more likely to slip into their mother tongue etc.

@@ps1hagridoufofcharacter never thought about complicated stuff making the basics harder, but that makes sense. Thanks for the comment PS1 Hagrid

LOL! same.

Yoko Cainz Good Lord, I’m only ten minutes in and didn’t notice the time on the bar. 😱😱😱 I’m going to have to schedule this thing out.

I see Krimson roast ANY book, I'm clicking. The fact that it's E. L. James is even better.

Yoko Cainz holy crap. I just got to the end and didn’t even notice how long it was. I need a job.

@@ihatewonderwall4843 same here

Omg I feel the same! Lol I've been writing my novel for four years so far and every time I read/hear something from E.L James, I'm instantly inspired 😂

I don't know you and I've never read your writing, and yet I can confidently say that you would.

Nah, you definitely can do better. Hell, the entire country of Albania currently hates her, so you literally cannot do worse

Glad I’m not the only one inspired by bad writing.

Same, to be honest. I wasn't sure about publishing because I didn't know if I was very good, but then I read some of her work and saw how undeservedly successful it was, and now I believe I could win a fucking Pulitzer.

He's who 98.935829% of all romance novels are based on.

Indeed. He's a real Mister!

@@NotoriousLightning Please no

If these are your qualifiers, I suggest you look into Dominic "The Dom" Nobel. He reviews and analyzes books on his channel, plus he's doing a charity reading of The Mister right now.

KrimsonRogue and Dominic Noble are the kings of having cats, thousands of books, and making fun of E.L. James.

omg YES!!! I kept hearing different names, and it took me until "Android" to realize what he was doing! Thank you for writing this out so I can enjoy each of them at leisure!!!

@@biancab9092 same, this is my favorite running gag of krim’s.

Here's a fun game: come up with more of your own! I'll start with Alabaster, Anathema, Anesthetic, and Abalone.

@@Gearhead221 Arithmetic, Algebra, Arthropoda, Alabastard, Alabama, Anthony

I went through these just now and his deadpan delivery fucking killed me I could not stop laughing. thank you for this

*Poetry at its finest*

Punchy Boi 💀

I want to like this but 666 likes is too perfect

We should make fake covers of books with summaries, quotes from critics and all but instead of "a breathtaking terrific novel" or some shit like that we put the most unattractive and negative stuff people have to say about this book. Like this would be the quote at the bottom of the fourth cover, and the summary would be something like "When a boring self-insert Albanian girl with a dark past becomes the maid of a genuinely insufferable aristocratic sex-addict, allegedly "kinky" boring erotica ensues." And the title would be well, "Erotic Boredom", something short and to the point that sums up what people who hate the book have to say about it. Add to that a mini author's bio that just says: "The author, EL James, is the most successful fanfiction writer in the world, and her writing worsens as time goes by. If you hated Christian Grey, then this is just the book for you, because you'll hate Maximillian even more." Then we should print those as book-jackets, go to the reader's section of a Walmart or something and replace the marketed book-jackets of a few copies as a prank (not stealing the og book-jackets of course, just stashing them elsewhere) as a prank. Honest book covers, think about it.

if i was the author i would put that on the back of the book.

Hannah Luden I hate to comment just one word but... same

It's such a good comic! The writer for it is doing Harleen, a short series, as well for DC!

Gentlemen, you had my curiosity, now you have my attention.

You should absolutely read it, the author/artist is incredible (he also has several other series, and his wife has a few good series as well)

So much better! Try Mercy. Same creator, from the prospective of a different couple

I mean... would need a bit more development too, IMHO, rather than going from "I'm never touching her" to "Spongebob Squarepants is moist with her lady fluids" like you flip a pancake. But yes, acknowledging trauma at least would make the male character more likeable.

​@@NWolfsson Bro, your comment slapped me in the face like a thrown moistened spongebob pj bottom would

Ok that really doesn’t count, it’s after all a staple for Germans to have spent most of their youth's holiday breaks at either the North or Baltic Sea, to the point where you never wanna go there in your adult years again... But I still agree.

I’m also curious about all the snow in Albania. Granted, there’s the Dinaric Alps (I was in the Dinaric Alps in northern Croatia in late March and there was plenty of snow) but they’re just north of Greece. It’s a Mediterranean climate, even inland.

@@michiganscythian2445 not much of it. It's quite a warm place. So much there's a lot of fires these past few years during summer

@@sin3358 Essentially, surprising absolutely no one, E. L. James doesn't even know basic geography. She probably thinks all of eastern Europe is like Russia. That being said, much of western Russia, like Saint Petersburg, has a climate more similar to the northwestern US. It's really only once you get as far east as Moscow or Tula where it starts to get particularly cold, and even then, it's not that bad outside of winter

@@michiganscythian2445 Albania is next to Macedonia and Serbia, close to Bulgaria. It snows here. Given, due to climate change there's significantly less snow nowadays than when I was a kid 25 years ago, but it still snows. Hell, it even snows in Greece some years. I think westerners imagine mediterranian climate as ''tropical''. Its not.

Msybe she is a victim

@@turtleanton6539 or maybe she is a predator? Because female predators DO exist. And I've watched interviews with E.L. James, she acts as entitled and arrogant as I have seen abusers act. And at least financially, she IS preying on people who don't know better...

@@Galvion1980 that and theres been a huge uptick in female predators in the recent years couldnt even figure out what cultural reasons could be making women so blatant hmmm

@@ZeroOmega-vg8nq There has been a huge uptick in female predators being caught and recognized as predarors is what you mean. There have always been female predators, it's just that sexism provided a cover for their actions: A boy raped by his female teacher was not considered a rape victim, but a lucky guy who scored. A wife was considered incapable of abusing he husband because women were "the weaker sex". Mental and emotional abuse didn't exist in most people's minds, because one was expected to tough it out and laugh it off. Less sexism = female predators recognized as predators. E.L. James ties to hide behind sexist cliches and laughable fake feminism, too, but real feminists see her for the vile scum she is and hate her.

@Strawberry Cheesecake Lover yes men and women are physiologically different but physiology is not everything there is nothing stopping woman from competing in the same sport leagues as men except those sports that require full body contact like American Foot Ball Hockey and of course Boxing and MMA since the only upper body strength that most sports need is what's required to throw a ball really really fast

Made me chuckle ngl

I mean to be completely honest a horror story of the anxiety you feel when misplacing your keys sounds more Interesting than onisions book.

@@ceolmund7835 **flashbacks of misplacing thumb drive** ...yeah

hi justin

I just about died at that part.

Not with this book, friend.

Unfortunately you'll have to wait another 150 pages before you can get off.

Just wait until they have their biggest crossover in Erotica: Endgame that has a scene of Christian Grey standing next to Maximum and Edward, summoning a BDSM paddle to his hand, then calling out "PREDATORS....assemble."

@@FalonGrey oh no-

I have been to the Villa d'Este, and the fountains in the gardens kick absolute ass. Liszt is describing those fountains in his composition. And may I say that any pianist who can master a piece by Liszt needs years of serious piano study.

In Albania. Pay for Netflix with carrier pigeon.

@@baneoftechnology That's true, I can confirm this. I just send my carrier pigeon Sokol to pay for my Netflix subscription :) You guys should try this.

Unknown Anon you named your pigeon „falcon“? Must be on hell of a bird :D

Jsss fkn christ WAHAT

@@sabsab878 Thank you! I named him Sokol because, just like the son of our communist dictator Enver Hoxha, who doesn't show up as a first result when u Google "Enver Hoxha children" (even tho his 2 other kids show up), so is my pigeon Sokol sneaky and quick to escape :)

Lol, thanks! That's a glowing review! :D

The Gothic Introvert right?? I’d love to have him critique something I wrote so I could improve

@@KrimsonRogue See? We think about you even when we're not on your channel! :) Your work has made an impression upon us.

@@katierasburn1093 omg same, that would be an honor

He just sits onstage with a book and rants about it for two hours. I'd see it.

Google translate always translates stuff into overly formal speech. I can always tell when somebody used translate to say stuff in German (I'm German) because google makes everything sound like an ancient German vampire at a job interview 😂

@@lay5395 It must be absolutely hilarious to witness 😂 Just ancient German vampires hanging around and looking for jobs

From the perspective of an italian with many 2 generation albanian friends, I was able to tell this book was gonna be bad with representation for the start, but thanks for the added context, it really helped, since i don't know albanian traditions that well but hey we're still neighbours, so i get how hurtful it is when someone butchers your colture that way P.s. i see the adriatic sea everyday too ehe

@@boredbby3326 Yw, I'm glad this was of interest to others! Tbh, I'm not really upset or what, it's just funny to me. I would never have expected anything good to come out of EL James's hands lol Also, lucky you! I live abroad as my parents are some of the many many Albanians that left the country after communism fell so I don't get to see the Adriatic often! Please enjoy it for me too ;)

@@lastquarter3992 i will for sure, hope you're having a great life in your new home (btw it is funny when ppl mess up ur coulture so bad but sometimes it's just sad cause literally a google search would've settled it! Also i'm of the opinion that if u wanna write ab other languages or coltures you should get some kind of sensitivity reader, a native to tell you what you did right or wrong, cause there is so much that google trad doesn't cover)

Probably would’ve been more interesting

“You there, boy! What day is it?” “Why, it’s Let’s Fuck Thursday!” “Let’s Fuck Thursday? Then I haven’t missed it!”

I mean that sounds pretty close to what happened anyway.

Ok but now I really want that book/movie

I need this book though

i saw it in a supermarket next to questionable-quality store brand ice cream

@@ps1hagridoufofcharacter right where it belongs

@@ps1hagridoufofcharacter They knew their target audience with that placement.

maybe someone put it there as a practical joke

i found it on display right next to Twilight on the English Learning section overshadowing Agatha Christie’s books and honestly that’s says a lot

Good luck with the book! I've also got one in the works and reviews of terrible writing really help me (and not just in the sense that there are horrible books out there so I should have more confidence!)

excellent character motivation

Amen! The first experience I had with EL James was 50 shades. I've been in a couple relationships with people into bdsm and I can tell they were all offended by her books. Like,of course during horny times I'd be mean with my sub,but guess what? During most of the day we would be having normal conversations about very mundane things. Christian Grey is a psycho though. He mentally abuses Anastasia when he's not physically abusing her. And i may be wrong because it has been so long since I read,but I don't remember a single mention of a safe word.

+Lain Hikaru They do establish a safeword, but Grey often guilt-trips Ana for using it and punishes her for forgetting it.

I love how terrible books inspires readers to write better stories. 😁

"Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used to hurt you." XD

@@KrimsonRogue So you have a licence for that moronicism, sir?

I found a fifty shades book.

I found a drawer in my moms bathroom filled with trashy romance novels. I have yet to confront her.

@@Dunsiti Nothing wrong with romance novels.

Krist S. I meant trashy erotica lol

@@Dunsiti Nothing wrong with trashy erotica either. Hell I'm quite a skilled erotica writer and some of my work could even be considered trashy, but the people that have read my stories are usually very entertained by them and if they were entertained then the work stands on its own merits.

Yes it is she makes bank

There is a line from a Gor novel just like that. Father hands his daughter over to her new husband, who will treat her as his slave in the most sordid meaning of the word, and as she cries out for him he gleefully remarks he seems to hear a girl he doesn't know. Burning a stack of Norman novels was one of the more satisfying acts of my life.

I will ask my dad to say this at my wedding.

@@awooingstops When my husband was very young, he went to stay with his grandma for a few days. Every day she would tell him to put on a clean pair of underwear. When his dad came to pick him up and they got home, his dad realized at bath time that he had 4 pairs of underwear on. When he asked my husband about it, my husband said "well, she told me every day to put the clean ones on. But she never told me to take off the other pair." This story came out one night at dinner while we were dating. So on our wedding day, after my father walked me down the aisle, he leaned over and quietly asked my husband "how many pairs of underwear do you have on?" My husband started cracking up and I had no idea why. We had to wait for a minute until he finished laughing. During our reception he told me why he had been laughing. We still laugh about it, 18 years later! 😂

I just googled her and she looks like Boss Nass from the Star Wars prequels. Its uncanny.

Doitsu.

Is this also a RussianBadger nod? 👀

As someone with lotsa trauma, i am almost always disgusted with these books

I once read someone theorize that, considering EL James’s track record of being controlling and awful to the people around her, it’s really the male love interests in her books that are the self insert and not the POV character. Feels relevant to this tbh lol

I know, right? that woman is as disgusting as she is talentless

You're a poet.

The fanfic predating Masters of the Universe (which was turned into 50 shades) was from the male perspective and apparently was the inspiration behind Grey, which is 50 Shades from Christian's perspective

I seriously wonder if she’s ever heard of Gor.

Not Albanian here but it seriously pisses me off that female characters from eastern Europe in western media are 99% of the time; -a prostitue -a criminal -sex trafficking victim -or combo of the above And the serious topic it brings are usually not explored properly :/

@@cw2010 Might have something to do with the fact that most western writers just look at Eastern Europe in a very superficial way. The way Alessia was portrayed in this... it's so weird. It's like someone's third attempt at a believable OC, where the writer just picked a remote country that no one can complain about if she's inaccurate. Alessia must live in an isolated part of Albania, because I haven't seen nor heard of anyone abiding by Kanun laws in the last few decades, because they are fucking awful for women. However, it still exists in parts of Albania isolated by mountains, where horrible shit like blood feuds (gjakmarrje) also exists. A girl brought up in that environment would not have the education, nor the talent she has. She would only know to cook, clean, bear children for her husband and be basically a servant to him and his family. If anyone wants a better view of how terrible Albania was/still is in some places for women, Migjeni portrays it perfectly in his 2 books. Amazing researcher Robert Elsie would also be a far, far superior choice. LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE WOULD BE BETTER

I'm not even Albanian but it really feels like EL James just randomly picked Albania up from a list of countries off the Internet and decided to use it just because.

@@HattiesVlogs That's because she definitely did. EL James probably went to Albania on holiday because it's dirt cheap, and then thought to herself "This is a small enough country of non-English speakers that won't give me too much flack if I portray a totally inaccurate view of their culture. It's basically free childhood trauma for my character, and it doesn't even have to make sense". :D

Also weird af she has never seen the sea tbh considering how small Albania is and her travelling to the UK. Esp in these days. At least in my opinion.

Protagonists Be Shopping

Hey, it's still better than My girlfriend is inside a school and an active shooter is also inside the school. Better put on my roller skates

Priorities 101

At least those are good slow burns with tension that keeps you engaged

_slow burn, enemies to lovers_

@@andreas_iced8297 *that's the good shit*

@@m.b3839 200k words tell first kiss

@@m.b3839 those are fun with all the bickering between the characters.

I'll be honest, synesthesia sounds so interesting and I wish I could understand it better. If I was ever going to write someone with it I would really need to have a long talk with people that actually have it. Seriously tho, how could you understand it if you don't have it? It's pretty obvious that EL James read the definition and that's all the research she did. I would love to hear any description you could give.

Man, I hope you write, because that description is gorgeous! Better than anything el James farts out.

And that’s infinitely more interesting than something just being orange. Even the color orange isn’t just orange, and music isn’t just music. Humans don’t think like that. A song is a feeling, it’s “driving through a city at night and you’re the only one on the road,” and that’s so much more interesting than just “it’s a pretty song.”

on god I read this comment before the part of the video where he mentions it I thought you were talking about the computer program and I was very confused

you sound like you might have ideasthesia! I have both, synaesthesia for letters/numbers and colours and ideasthesia for letters/numbers with personalities - it's rly hard to explain but you definitely have much more than just synaesthesia. also: completely agree, ppl without synaesthesia talking abt it rly don't know how hard it is to explain and they talk abt it like it's super simple and rly, don't know abt what thought process they come to when thinking abt it, but brain hyperactivity is too insane to *explain*

"ONION BOY" JEEBUS

Onion boy has always written engaging books, but those 'engaging' books are nothing but an excuse for his own narrow minded philosophical dribble. It's a fun trainwreck filled with hypocrisy and fallacies if you don't take his book seriously

@@ohohothisrocks So his book basically falls in the category of so bad it's good

they’re engaging because he has to include a school shooting in every book and you’re also intrigued because they’re like a car crash that you can’t look away from

And to think she's legitimately published...🤦‍♀️

It's 3 years later but I have never related more. Thanks Kevin

Me, asexual: "I'm... not feeling encouraged yet"

@@lay5395me, aromantic and asexual: i think i’ll just pass!

​​@@lay5395*society uses encouragement of sexual activity! Its not very effective*

Candy Von Bitter I would if a James character was with me

"Good, I have a dentist's appointment in half an hour"

That made me laugh more than it should have ....

Hattie's Vlogs Hey baby, I love you, I have 180 seconds to get my shit off

Unprofessional Professor don’t let Onion know. He doesn’t need anything else to stroke his ego

@@TheCherri306 Preach, sister!

Honestly that would make the best live action sic com

Lol, touche.

@@bokrugthewaterserpent3012 I hate that that's a real place. I swear the Welsh are just fucking with us.

I actually had a great aunt that I've never met -passed before I was born - and her name was Arkansas and she pronounced it Ar-Kansas. I wish I was kidding

@@odd-eyes9463 Great Aunty Ar-Kansas is the only person and pronunciation I trust

Sage Colvard Wales isn’t real.

We stan resilient kings

I found my way to this video exactly the same way! This book is so bad it fascinates me and doesn't want to let me go

And a damn good one, at that.

Ineffable husbands for the win

Why did this comment make me cry? (Probably because of how true it is.)

My favorite author since i was a kid.

That's a funny way of spelling Karen Traviss

loool nooo Dobby deserves better than that

I hate Harry Potter, but not even Dobby deserves that.

audrey hartman sometimes you can still bleed even with lubrication the first time. It’s probably not going to be as bad as the books seems to describe it though.

I bled like a damn stuck pig my first time and I was raring to go. Hurt like a motherhumper too. Some girls just have really thick hymens and the first time is a bitch. 🤷‍♀️

@@sugarbaby1974 OMG me too. I bled so much I stained the mattress under the mattress protector

You can bleed the first time and it’s normal but the book describes it very violently

Is that the one where the girl's dad shows up and the guy pulls a machine or shot gun out of no where?

Oh my God yes please. Jenny Nicholson did a video on it, I think.

@@who_the_fuck_is_riley5813 She did that's where I heard about it.

Did she get trolled?

@@DerVasto plot twist she was rick rolled

Honestly I’d pick up that book lol and it could be set in a time where that word was more commonly used and it could be kinda humorous... but erotic... in a comedic way. Idk. It could be entertaining. EROTIC COMEDY. Let’s make that a thing.

@@milkglassfairy7641 I think that's what this review is.

If only there were actually enough erotic scenes to fit that title XD

However there needs to be enough comedy that the reader cant get into it.

@@milkglassfairy7641 a new take on the lusty argonian maid

It was Rigor Morris, girl!

@@satireknight look up Moon daughter it's the My Immortal to the Percy Jackson Community

i haven't read that fic " My Inmortal" but..i have a feeling that is good i didn't.

@@nessyness5447 Mister internet historian did it so much better

It's shit. The pacing is the worst, the grammar is the worst, and the sentence structures are not disguised at all. On top of all of that bad writing, the author had or has the worst possible taste in music: she writes in the Good Charlotte was playing at Hogsmeade and writes in that Draco Malfoy was wearing a Simple Plan shirt at one point.

@@haydenpatterson4720 Well most of the internet is convinced that it is *deliberately* bad (though I've seen equally horrible writing from people who I sadly know were serious). Also, why you gotta drag the bands just because of the author? 🙃 I like most of the music she mentions. It doesn't belong in Harry Potter, but that's true for 99% of things she writes about (guns, satanism, sex, etc.).

Rith Trelin Probably Satan himself

Aww, shizz, E.L. James escaped again! Quick, close the gate to the Publishers!

Well, sadly, it makes money.

uh because she is a blockbuster writer (at least she was a one hit wonder). although I'm surprised her books get published without more editing. what's happening inside publishing houses? are they in such a financial dire place that they cant afford some proper re-writing sessions? why isn't her agent doing something at least? E. L. James need some serious ghostwriting input and I'm surprised her fans dont complain more 🤷🏾‍♀️

@@moustik31 Not trying to be rude here, but the demographic she's aiming isn't necessary critical about what they're reading. But regarding the lack of editing, I'd like to forward you to Folding Ideas' Lukewarm Defense of Fifty Shades of Grey (the movie). It went really in depth into the movies, like how the first one is actually decently made with real creative drive from the director, the screenwriter, the costume designer, the editor, the cinematographer, the actors and actresses, etc. only to be bogged down by how terrible the source material is, how James is just generally resentful at attempts to edit or change the script, how the movie just kept going downhill because the director and screenwriter of the first one got fired because James threw a tantrum, so they're replaced with her husband and the director of Glengarry Glen Ross (which should have brought the movie to the level of decent, but surprise surprise), and how the movie studio basically relented because... Money.

I haven't been trafficked but thanks for what you guys do

This is scary...

@@hana__banana i know

@@kaydwessie296 "I haven't been trafficked but..." Is officially my new catchphrase

@@carlcarlington7317 LMAO good

Imo it doesn't feel too right either. It would feel like a westernised version of things were for Albanians at the time, thus feeling slightly off.You'd need an extensive amount of research or contact with the local populations to show something that wouldn't feel outlandish to them.

Now THAT'S a first sentence that'd get me to keep reading

I read that one but I can’t for the life of me remember the title, I agree though, I was pretty much instantly engaged with that line alone

I don't believe him lol

I can't remember the title either but I think it's the book where he gets his dog.

OneTrueBelmont I love the first line in This Savage Song: The night Kate Harker decided to burn down her school’s chapel, she wasn’t angry or drunk. She was desperate.

Same

thing is, fanfiction is not inherently bad or cringy. it can be just as good as, or better than, 'actual' books. it's just 'writers' like E L James that give fanfiction a bad name

@@sw3602 Well said!

Maisy Peris I used to be a fanfic writer from the age 12-16. Were they terrible? Hell yes they were. But it helped as people would give constructive criticism or give praise. It gave me confidence and gave me a safe place to post anonymously while I improved my writing until now I’m in the middle of a first draft for a novel. Writing fanfiction gave me as much passion as published books to study English. No way would I ever just rewrite a few names and then try and publish them, that’s what it feels like when I see quotes from Fifty Shades let alone this The Mister. If I would see any fanfiction author published, George Devalier would be my first choice. He could honestly write something original and I would read it in a heartbeat.

“Beautifully written fanfics that have actually made me cry...” I see you too have read the Hat Fic!

There was also that time Voldemort hid in Albania. Not that that's better. Nor a representation of Albanians.

Oh god talk about turning a blind eye.

My sister is a social worker and she deals with a depressingly large amount of human trafficking victims that she has to help. We don't have the right to call ourselves a "Developed" society until we stop human trafficking, and I'm really glad Krimson did that little PSA to help spread awareness.

@@awesomeMSE That’s why I believe America is not a first world country. It’s second to third. We aren’t treating our people right and first, it’s the elite first and then we get the scraps. Fuck capitalism.

I mean if she was wearing very erotic underwear or a g string, maybe but considering that she's a maid it's highly unlikely.

“May I call you El?” I will ask when we finally meet.

HAIL

HAIL.

HAIL SPACEFISH

HAIL

All hail Ash. we should make r/imsorrykrimson to honor him

Thanks! Glad I'm able to have helped. :D

E.L. James be like: "no, no, I don't think I will."

Your profile picture is the best! Hahahahahahaha!!

My favorite is this: "A long time ago in a dimension far, far away there was a collective of midgets fighting over a hummus snack, who have nothing at all to do with our story, which really begins in a small and very unhygienic bedroom in what humans call 'New York'. -George Miller. Francis of the Filth

Whatever book this is, I think I'm gonna have to read it now...

Pikapower Kirby The Fifth Season. It’s really fucking good.

"Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the western spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-two million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. This planet has - or rather had - a problem, which was this: most of the people on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper, which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of paper that were unhappy. And so the problem remained; lots of the people were mean, and most of them were miserable, even the ones with digital watches. Many were increasingly of the opinion that they'd all made a big mistake in coming down from the trees in the first place. And some said that even the trees had been a bad move, and that no one should ever have left the oceans. And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change, one girl sitting on her own in a small cafe in Rickmansworth suddenly realized what it was that had been going wrong all this time, and she finally knew how the world could be made a good and happy place. This time it was right, it would work, and no one would have to get nailed to anything. Sadly, however, before she could get to a phone to tell anyone-about it, a terribly stupid catastrophe occurred, and the idea was lost forever. This is not her story." -Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

OOOOH! mentioning an actual writer in an E.L. James review! You are summoning a guardian spirit!

preach