GASLIGHTING: Sneaky Emotional Abuse - 10 Underhanded Ways It Shows Up

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Dr. Rhoberta Shaler - Help for Toxic Relationships

3 жыл бұрын

Understanding the many faces of gaslighting (a subtle but powerful form of emotional abuse) helps you see it coming. Then, seeing it for what it is, you can discount it, reject and deny it.
In this episode, I'll give you insights to help you recognize gaslighting more easily. It's emotional abuse that you can shut down, when you know what to listen and watch for.
HIGHLIGHTS OF THIS EPISODE:
- Why gaslighting is a huge issue in eroding self-confidence
- 10 ways gaslighting shows up and how to recognize them
- Examples of gaslighting, and how it's emotional abuse
- Why it is essential to recognize the different ways a #Hijackal will attempt to gaslight you
Hopefully, by the time you hear all ten, you'll say "No More!"
A person who thinks they can tell you what you think, feel, need, want, prefer, or remember is a person to watch out for. Beware, though, because they wear you down, you may have a tendency to believe them. Don't! They are using and emotionally abusing you, and you deserve to be treated with respect, care, love, and honesty.
Once you know how to recognize gaslighting when it's happening, you want to know how to respond to it in ways that don't contribute to the crazy-making:
Here's a previous episode that's been helpful for a lot of of folx:
• Healthy Responses to G...
A favorite of narcissists is to tell you "you're too sensitive"... here's what to do then:
• How to respond to "you...
* * Remember, narcissists and other toxic people come in all genders and ages * *
and toxic relationships can be at home, at work, at play... with your parent, boss, spouse, sibling, friend, co-worker.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I am Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, The Relationship Help Doctor.
Are you in relationship with a Hijackal? Someone who is inflicting emotional abuse? That's someone who consistently puts you down, love-bombs and gaslights you, creates confusion and chaos, and causes you to second-guess yourself? I can help you recognize, understand, and make decisions about those kinds of narcissistic behavior…and especially, how to keep yourself (and your children) safe and sane.
No worries about where in the world you live. I work through private, secure video conferencing. So, we can certainly work together to figure a few things out.
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Get my free ebook at www.Hijackals.com
Take my free checklists: www.forrelationshiphelp.com/c...
Are you looking for relief from the pain, confusion and drama of toxic relationships? I can help.
You can reclaim your personal power. Keep watching my videos on KZfaq to find strategies for changing your relationship dynamics.. When you're ready, let's talk.
You can take advantage of my one-time. new client introductory Consultation here (only $97 for a full hour)
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#emotionalabuse #Hijackals #toxicpeople #narcissists #difficultpeople #verbalabuse #stoptoleratingabuse #toxicrelationships #manipulation #walkingoneggshells #mentalhealth #emotionalhealth #narcissisticabuse #personalitydisorder
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Пікірлер: 420

@evelina787 2 жыл бұрын

“Some relationships are like broken glass. It's better to leave them alone than hurt yourself trying to put them back together.”

@bobsanderz3005 2 жыл бұрын

The term “Weaponized Ambiguity” was brilliant. I’ve never heard my wife’s communication tactics summed up so perfectly

@LittleMsLibra8 2 жыл бұрын

Same for my long term boyfriend. He’s very strategic about being vague so when I question him later he always has the excuse that “you misunderstood”. It’s so frustrating being with someone who wants to control everything all the time, even your perception.

@anothercomment3451 2 жыл бұрын

Deliberate Ambiguity has been a tactic against the public for ages. The POINT, however, is well taken. Ambiguity IS a weapon!

@taraarrington2285 Жыл бұрын

Sorry to hear that. I'm being triangulate by narcissists and their flying monkeys right now. Birds of a feather flock together.

@anothercomment3451 Жыл бұрын

@@taraarrington2285 Yup. Flying monkeys for 2 yrs straight. Closet psychos.

@taraarrington2285 Жыл бұрын

@@anothercomment3451 at the very least they are followers and morally corrupt.

@septemberdawnluketz 11 ай бұрын

Omg, my narcissistic mom tells me that all the time. “I know you better than you know yourself.” As she’a manipulating me. I’m so over this dynamic 😢

@kylaford8338 2 ай бұрын

Sending you so much love ❤ I'm recovering from these behaviors and I see what I put my daughter through. Heal yourself and go be awesome!! ❤❤❤

@Kiery112 2 жыл бұрын

This is why having self-awareness and true personal integrity is important so we can ward ourselves from these tactics.

@sharlapatriot2725 2 жыл бұрын

Holly cow! This hit every nail on the head! I'm also living this hell. I have recently really come to see what this is & am learning about this. 3 weeks ago he said that a man cheats because a woman doesn't do her "job". Leaving is hard, financially & everything else. I'm making my plans though. Thank you so much for this. He almost broke me. Almost.

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome! The good news is that, as you said, he "almost" broke you, and now you're on your way to a healthier future with less stress, anxiety, and frustrating. Good for you!

@melindasmith3713 2 жыл бұрын

I just want to be me

@hongkonghottie 2 жыл бұрын

Yes financial issues can be the main issue on leaving. Keep plugging away and dont lose faith!

@kalar3429 2 жыл бұрын

@@ForRelationshipHelp need help maam...

@imeldacastellanos334 2 жыл бұрын

HE SAID THAT!?!??? That man needs his morals checked cuz no sane person actually thinks that. Abusers and cheaters do smh

@shellieburgoyne9555 2 жыл бұрын

I was in a 29 year relationship with a man 20 years older. I'm sure at some point he did love me, but he managed to chase all my friends away. He rarely ever went to my family functions but I was expected to go to his. He would never apologize for anything and he was never wrong. He called me all sorts of mean and degrading names. At one point in our relationship, I actually wanted to get married, but now I'm glad we didn't. He did manage to tear me down so I had little to no self-esteem. I finally got the courage to leave him and now I'm happy again

@just_peachy6582 2 жыл бұрын

I’m so happy for you, it takes a lot of bravery and courage

@JudgeJulieLit Жыл бұрын

That circa 1940 movie was "Gaslight," set in the late Victorian era when mansions were lit by dimmable gas lamps. It starred Charles Boyer (not Cary Grant) as the husband gaslighting his bride, played by Ingrid Bergman.

@laneg4375 2 жыл бұрын

This is EXACTLY what happened to me with my soon to be ex-husband. It's like they all follow the same script 🤯

@lucrishamcallister410 2 жыл бұрын

Me too but I wasn’t married. How can they all be the same ? Are they on a Spectrum.

@aristotebyams3932 2 жыл бұрын

😂😂

@user-mj7vl9dn6w Жыл бұрын

No one can understand the depth of the nightmare if you never married the gaslighting non empathetic narc and you had kids with them. They ruin lives , leave their mark on all in their path.

@michelleplaskoff9920 2 жыл бұрын

He has moved my things and then accused me of being ditzy and losing them ....I was beginning to question my own mind ...wow ❣️

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

Such classic gaslighting!

@janm9610 Жыл бұрын

He threw out things that were mine from a previous relationship and DENIED throwing them out when just the 2 of us lived in the house.

@keithachrem2872 8 ай бұрын

Did you see him through it out ?

@tishachristopher2854 7 ай бұрын

A narcissist will hide things and then pretend to help you look for them.

@elizabethnorman2232 3 ай бұрын

@@tishachristopher2854exactly

@septemberdawnluketz 11 ай бұрын

This is all too familiar to me. No wonder I’m emotionally exhausted by it all. I’ve been dealing with ALL of these tactics in my interpersonal relationships. No wonder it hurts and confuses me so much! It’s abuse. 😔 😢

@michelleplaskoff9920 2 жыл бұрын

I'm watching this in my kitchen while he's in the living room attempting to gaslight me...how ironic 🙄 you are a true gem Dr. I'm so glad I found your channel you have opened my eyes and helped me immensely..Namaste 🙏💙

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you found it, too.

@andyuxd 2 жыл бұрын

Mind blowing examples. I’m still struggling to wrap my head around what I experienced. I ended up writing things down to remind myself what was going on. This one thing absolutely destroyed our intimacy - how can you go to bed and be intimate with someone who plays with your reality like this? At the time, before I knew the term, I just saw it as a weird kind of dishonesty which sent my head west. At best this kind of behaviour erodes trust, and where there’s no trust there’s no relationship. It was there from the beginning and we lasted 10 years. I enabled this and I totally accept that. The reason it didn’t break down sooner is because the amazing, kind, thoughtful things about her were enough to conveniently ignore such crazymaking tactics.

@thewanderingwayfarer1686 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for saying this. I ask myself the same thing and also my soon to be ex. “How can you expect that I would want to be intimate with you and connect with you in that way when you put me down?” They don’t get it. They never will. Mine disgusts me.

@shellieburgoyne9555 Жыл бұрын

My ex boyfriend made me feel like I had to depend on him for everything, even though I worked full time and was going to college. He is 20 years older and we were together for 29 years. We got together when I was 19, and now I’m 52, and with a wonderful new boyfriend. When I was with my ex, I feel like he groomed me to be what he wanted me to be. He was wonderful until I was in my late 20’s, early 30’s. Then the gaslighting started, and got bad. I finally found the courage to leave him. About the last 5-6 years of the relationship, I slept on the couch, since I couldn’t stand to sleep next to him. He crushed my spirit and self-esteem.

@tammigriffin5351 Жыл бұрын

I totally understand .

@shellieburgoyne9555 Жыл бұрын

I totally understand where you're coming from, because I had almost the exact experience

@kathryn885 Жыл бұрын

🙌 to what you said.. then it becomes an excuse/justification to cheat .. ugh 😑

@stoptheinsanity8963 2 жыл бұрын

Seven years, off an on , I have allowed this to happen. I literally thought it was me reacting to childhood trauma that made me “crazy”, that I was unbearable and tolerated despite my weirdness. On Christmas he told me to kill myself that I was too fat. Something clicked that night & I realized that anyone who could say something so vile, and cruel didn’t care about me at all. I knew I was always his last choice, his back up. I’m starting to see just how sick and toxic the relationship was & I need to be sure it will never happen again.

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

I hope you hold on to that promise to yourself that it will never happen again. I wish you well.

@stoptheinsanity8963 2 жыл бұрын

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler - Help for Toxic Relationships thank you for taking the time to read my comment. I’m trying to be strong. I hate that it’s so hard to do what is best for me.

@dianebarron8362 2 жыл бұрын

you know it doesn't sound like silly sounding gaslighting, it sounds like evil manipulation, mind games.

@taraarrington2285 Жыл бұрын

Oh it is. The whole point is cause you to self destruct while these hyenas devour.

@tammigriffin5351 Жыл бұрын

It’s actually is

@diannekevwitch6958 Жыл бұрын

It is 💯 evil. Demonic.

@smallhouseinthemeadow6131 3 жыл бұрын

My husband is building me my own little cottage down the hill from him as an alternative to a divorce.This morning, he mentioned how lovely it was the way it was situated.I agreed, that yes, I was so glad that he put it the way that I had wanted it.(I had asked him to put it parallel with the road, and he wanted me to have it kitty-cornered on the property, but finally let me have it my way). He flipped out on me, telling me that it was the way that HE had wanted it, and that I wanted it facing another way.I told him that he was lying, because of course I know how I wanted my own house to face.He called me crazy, my memory is "effed up" and started yelling at me.I told him that apparently I wasn't allowed to get credit for anything and to stop gaslighting me.He left me a bit upset and sad, but mostly I feel sorry for him.How pathetic a person is who needs to try to have power over someone else. He is horrificly verbally abusive and I have stayed because I am on disability, but my plan is to let him finish my house, and then divorce him and sub divide the land.If I can't be his neighbor, at least I can sell my little house and escape the verbal and emotional abuse that has been ongoing daily for tweny years.In between, he is sweet as pie, and extremely good to me, by the bad now outweighs the good, because I finallt have self love and self esteem.I grew up with a narcissistic, verbally abusive mother, so it makes sense how I got here.

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Good for you: you have a wise plan. When you simply observe his behaviors without comment, you can save yourself some of the outbursts. I know it's very difficult to do that when someone is warping the truth right in front of you.

@smallhouseinthemeadow6131 3 жыл бұрын

@@ForRelationshipHelp That is wonderful advice-thank-you! I do that with my narcissist Mother and it does work.I am just more stubborn with my husband, but it is pointless, so I should stop arguing, to save my sanity,Is it commom to marry one when you were raised by one? I am assuming it is...

@whowearereally6494 2 жыл бұрын

Smallhouseinthemeadow, Oh my goodness, I also come from a mother of this, 3brothers and chose that for relationships, it finally took its toll and I am now alone in the woods of WI. We should do a retreat....

@djbrelinski 2 жыл бұрын

I’m stuck with my abuser because I’m on disability too. He handicapped me bit by bit and I feel like a neglected dog. I’m not sure I can take another blow. Jesus come please!!

@mariahconklin4150 2 жыл бұрын

Sweet but mean no thank you

@xxxlinzxxx8600 2 жыл бұрын

Someone told me to look this word up and now I'm watching your video, and wow yeah exactly what I went thru for 8 years with my ex husband to the point I believed I had problems in my head. I'm now left with severe depression anxiety and PTSD. Thank you so much for this video, it's really helping me understand.

@angelwings7930 2 жыл бұрын

I agree. I have complex ptsd and at least half of it was thanks to the guy I used to be married to. I used to think I could talk to him and things would change. That was before I learned all this and even knew what gaslighting was.

@marijabu 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for the tools to walk away from a new " friend" that is exhibiting these signs,(criticizing, body shaming, lying, and belittling me). You have validated my suspicions about this person and, as a result, give me the courage to end it now.

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

You are welcome! And, YAY! You dodged a bullet!!!

@Peecup 10 ай бұрын

This was my ex wife. When I discovered what was happening I divorced that self entitled pig. 20 years of toxicity. What a waste. I’m with an awesome woman now, complete opposite. It’s never too late to take out the garbage.

@watamatafoyu 4 күн бұрын

No experience is a waste. You're with an awesome woman because of what you learned through it.

@AffirmativeArtsOnTheRoad 9 ай бұрын

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! YOU HAVE FINALLY BROKEN THROUGH ALL MY DEFENSES AND AWOKEN ME! I BELIEVE YOU HAVE *SAVED MY LIFE* THANK YOU!!!!

@maryburton-majure5350 3 жыл бұрын

I'm in the middle of this rt now! I am finished trying to find peace w this person in my life. Time to exrricate...

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

It's very difficult to find peace with a person who wants to define your reality for you, isn't it? You're likely right: time to extricate and move on.

@sharlapatriot2725 2 жыл бұрын

Agree. I'm living it too. I do a lot of praying & planning. I'm leaving this summer but I can't do it when he's here. Gotta wait till he's out of town or it will be bad.

@sageluna7687 2 жыл бұрын

@@sharlapatriot2725 I was in the exact same situation as you.. If you aren't married,apply for a HUD home now and it will get you on the lists!!! If you aren't familiar with HUD,it's either a house,apartment or duplex that is income based. You will only pay a small percentage of your monthly disability pay for rent. I was blessed this time last year by finally getting away from a 15 year marriage that changed my entire reality. I couldn't believe how fast my process went and I'm about to celebrate my 1st full year on my own and healing. Ps...My divorce was final last September! Just keep looking forward and research all your resources in your area. I hope you find your happiness and healing soon ❤️🌸🌿

@sharlapatriot2725 2 жыл бұрын

@@sageluna7687 thank you so much for this.

@thegreat.andmommychannel7290 2 жыл бұрын

I am at peace

@rawveganmangolover 2 жыл бұрын

This is so impossible to figure out when it’s your mother and you believe you are bad and that she owns you until you’re 18. It’s so sneaky and built in to your life-is the frame of your life, designed by her.

@AnimalPlantLover 2 жыл бұрын

I just came across your page. I dropped to my knees crying an saying YES YES YESSSS omgossshhhh. You've PEGGED what I live in/with for 21yrs with my hubs. It took a LONG time to realize who he was. How he IS.. Everything you said!! Is EXACTLY it. Your SO spot on! HIJECKLE! Perfect name !! IM CRYING because you UNDERSTAND! It's made my life hell an effected it in EVERY manner. And in fear what else I'll find out daily, the lies,threats, and more. I can't tell you how much you made me SO happy, that ITS NOT ME!. BLESS YOU🙏 I am looking into ALL of your blessed info. TY so MUCH. I'm blown away , How YOU say the TRUTH.

@marymcnellis5311 2 жыл бұрын

You are so right. I finally realized I wasn’t losing my memory completely,because I remembered things differently. He made me feel like I have dementia.Like he has a tape recorder in his head,and has play back.The one thing my husband doesn’t do is love bomb me at all. No attention whatsoever.

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

I hope that, seeing the emotional abuse, you will feel motivated to move away and into a more loving environment.

@mariahconklin4150 2 жыл бұрын

He’d rarely love bomb me it was the no attention at all if it was my interests it felt like that way at least but I know everyone has different interests. Somethings always felt off with him though

@cwaloszczyk2650 2 жыл бұрын

Lying seems to be the least of it. But yes, "weaponized ambiguity" is a great description.

@sugarpuff2978 2 жыл бұрын

I was bullied by my Dad. He only stopped because he got dementia a couple of years ago. Now at age 46 I've finally put my finger on what my Mums behaviour is all about too. She is a gaslighter and has gaslit me my whole life. My mental health has been appalling and I've had breakdown after breakdown and have never been able to make anything of myself as an adult. If it wasn't for having a great husband I wouldn't be here anymore.

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

I hope things become clearer and clearer as you continue to have insights about this.

@juliejeanable 2 жыл бұрын

I love the silent treatment since he's had his man cave up the garden, I don't see him for days at a time, 10 days was the longest, it felt like a holiday 😂😂😂

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

Exactly! Good for you. When you can get to the place of actually enjoying your time while a Hijackal thinks they are punishing you with The Silent Treatment, you're gaining emotional health!

@angelwings7930 2 жыл бұрын

😂😂😂

@robertmadrid5481 2 жыл бұрын

First i would like to explain that i am using my 20 year old sons phone Im female and 60 So my senior mother came to live with me and as i began to become aware of her questionable behavior towards me i am really trying to hold on to the belief that this is not the case and all the situations that are making my life ..." "A nightmare" are just coincidences But there are too many coincidences And i now am convinced. So my example is the silent treatment and the longer we lived in the same house the silent treatment was happening more often . So after i got over feeling really bad that i was causing my mother to feel so disrespected by her insensitive daughter, then i started to enjoy the silent treatment because i got a little break from all the disagreements. Then it seems when she realized i was actually okay with her silent treatment She started to specifically slam me with the silent treatment only when something very profound happened to me that validated my success in some way . So she would ruin the moment of me feeling proud of myself .

@Mnalotus-pk1pc 2 жыл бұрын

My mother is exactly like this. I grew up with it my whole life and was so confused by the mixed signals of her trying to help me in certain ways which was only used as a way to control everything I did in my life. I am now married to a covert narcissist and am having a hard time understanding some of the things that are happening to me. I see the red flags and have missed a lot throughout our 9 year marriage. I was so confused a lot of the times and didn’t understand what was happening to me. I was always made out to be the unstable crazy one and he would do things intentionally to make me behave in a crazy way. He would almost drive me insane. I am a codependent and have found safety in this because it’s what I’m used to and I know that I get my needs met in certain ways when he does treat me well and love bomb me after completely embarrassing me and making me feel like shit. It’s hard to take responsibility for the role I’ve played in this and to understand that I’m not the “good one” and he is the “bad one.” We both danced this dance together and it is both a coping mechanism for the both of us and what we have been through in our childhood. For anyone who is going through this take the time to heal and be aware. Taking time to myself and learning myself has helped tremendously. Sending you all my love.

@PPMOCRG 3 жыл бұрын

You have described my sister perfectly. She lies like she breathes when she thinks it will benefit her. “Weaponized ambiguity” is a perfect term also. I have seen this so much from her.

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

That's so difficult to deal with! Weaponized ambiguity is designed to keep you in a fog, usually with just enough truth to confuse you into thinking what she said was plausible. It's very complex. Good that you know this about her so that you don't take her words at face value, for sure!

@somedaynow1128 3 жыл бұрын

My husband is the King of Weaponized Ambiguity. He keeps his 👑 in the China cabinet.

@anaphylaxis2548 3 жыл бұрын

@@ForRelationshipHelp Oh I am finished with her permanently. No contact is my friend. 🙂

@smallhouseinthemeadow6131 3 жыл бұрын

@@somedaynow1128 LOL, good one!

@virginiacash-renbjor8455 3 жыл бұрын

This is how my SO is. These are the patterns and behaviours that are part of what I call the SO mental problems that are not mine. My SO is troubled and I cannot help him and I will not make the SO problems mine. And I will not allow another person to define my own reality and I stand strong in myself knowing what it is I am looking at. And I have myself for my own happiness and joy. So I thank my God for giving me the intelligence to see this and be capable of separating from all of this and not running away from MY HOME because of another person who makes up crap in his own head about me and himself. Nope I see the problem and it is in the other persons head. And that's on him.

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Good for you! That is very wise to remember the truth about what is going on.

@maryt7959 2 жыл бұрын

Read this book and you will know there is no mental disease at all …. “ why does he do that” “ by Lundy Bancroft ….

@cherylmcwilliams5670 2 жыл бұрын

#8 - We went to marriage therapist about 12yrs ago and my husband sucked them right in and made me the one out to be the problem. I quit going to that person. When I wanted to change, the therapist said it confirmed I was the bad apple in the relationship. That just added so much fuel to his fire. It made me feel so defeated and beat up.

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry to hear that was your therapy experience. Sadly, that happens too often. That's why it's most useful to choose someone who has a specialty like minte in emotional and narcissistic abuse.

@monicahocking1507 2 жыл бұрын

That's why I would never go to a therapist.

@supergran676 Жыл бұрын

You got a particularly abusive therapist who doesnt deserve to be licensed. You could sue for malpractice if you can prove she abused her client. No decent therapist ever takes sides. It's unheard of. I'm so sorry you were victimized in this way. It"s double trouble when a counsellor and a husband both gang up on someone as fragile as you were going in.

@melliecrann-gaoth4789 5 ай бұрын

@@supergran676I’ve had that too

@kaystephens2672 2 жыл бұрын

My life, "We'll see". I heard that so many times from imposter mother. "We'll sees" that never came to pass. Forgotten like garbage thrown out, long forgotten. Horrible excuse for an adopted parent. Anyone else hear that?

@melodysanquist4834 4 ай бұрын

We were young and had just started dating. He was driving a car while trying to start the cassette player. He lost control of the car and we went off of the road, so he over corrected and we shot back out of the ditch and into the opposite ditch, back and fourth like this , tires loudly squealing on the pavement until the car came to rest. We were buried nose first into the tree line and stuck. He said he always had control of the car but lost it because I wouldn’t stop screaming. I shot back at him, “Screaming? That was the sharp sound of the tires squealing on the pavement. Then when a good samaritan stopped to ask us what happened he said, “Oh, I let my girlfriend drive my car”. He turned out to be a diagnosed malignant narcissist but I didn’t find out until much later. I wish I could have heard your videos back then as it would have helped me a lot❤

@nicoleastolfi407 2 жыл бұрын

Yep your right everything gets turned on to me once I try to talk to him about certain things I see in his behaviors as well.

@just_peachy6582 2 жыл бұрын

Yes and nothing ever gets resolved

@stevewise1656 Жыл бұрын

Gaslighting is telling someone reality isn't reality. It's all in your mind and they lie a lot and then claim they don't lie. They project a lot...so much of this resonates. Oh my God. In fact, my wife would simply deny she'd said what she'd just stated literally within a minute later. She would claim I was insane etc..Thankfully she exhibited this behavior in front of others, because I thought maybe I was losing my mind. She'd also tell me someone said something and later I learned that wasn't what the person said at all. In fact, she was completely lying misrepresenting what was stated. Eventually I caught on and it was shocking, because the lies were about major financial and other important issues I'd later have to clean up. Facts were/are a moving target. We tried couples therapy and she couldn't answer a yes or no question factually. She would talk in circles and when the therapist would try to get a straight answer, she'd start crying. It would essentially stop the session...she didn't want to answer nor face her own issues and this crying tactic worked every time. Every single aspect of who I was and proud of about myself was shredded. I did eventually see a therapist, because I'd lost myself.

@thefaithfulheroine7928 3 жыл бұрын

I have a relative that constantly lies about so many things she seems to believe what she is saying. She will contradict prior statements and makes up a new reality. She will never take responsibility for anything she may have done wrong. She will even say someone else actually said or did which in reality she did. It can be crazy making!

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Seems to be little doubt that it is crazy-making for sure!

@mariahconklin4150 2 жыл бұрын

I just told the guy I’ll just accept all your crap and yet he still couldn’t tell me the truth. It’s like no really dude I accept who you are but in my head I was thinking I’ll just keep him as a far distant friend and date around

@lovesdogs8616 2 жыл бұрын

All of these things happen within normal relationships too, just not so the norm as it is with a narc. Most people today are narcissist, very few people demonstrate this high perfect behavior that we all would like. Its just how it is these days I guess. The problem is the psychos are actually coming onto YT, learning all the information and just getting stronger.

@just_peachy6582 2 жыл бұрын

Yes mine is and the projection is insane ,

@michelesmith4290 2 жыл бұрын

I was wondering if gaslighting was something that I experienced in my last relationship. He would lock doors that required a key on both sides when I didn't have my keys locking me out of my home. I had to knock on the door to ask to get back in. Things we experienced together were much different in his version of events than what I experienced. I would leave a room and turn the lights off, later he would say I left lights on. Things I heard him say he would say he didn't say. It didn't happen everyday. It was very insidious at first. Just here and there. He told my friends I was forgetful. I looked crazy and he came across as the good guy with an awful partner. I lost my friends , we no longer talk they took his side in the breakup. I saw no other way out then to cut all ties with him.No phonecalls , texts , no communication what so ever. I thought I was in the clear when he suddenly started showing up at places he knew I would be at. My moms home, my work. If he showed up I would just leave or not engage in anyway, if I couldn't leave. It's been 5 years and I'm afraid of relationships. I still 2nd guess myself. Did I say that, did I move that , am I remembering correctly or am I lying to myself.As bad as it is theres a part inside of me telling me I am not crazy

@mrsherwood2599 3 жыл бұрын

I actually did know my "high jackyll" better than she knew herself. That's how I escaped her. So predictable.

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Yes, that's possible. It's when you tell someone that you know them better than they know themselves that is turns into gaslighting. Good for you for voting for health!

@cherylmcwilliams5670 2 жыл бұрын

My husband gets so mad that I ask him to take out the garbage (inconvenience) he will never put a bag back in the can. He knows that will make me upset. Then he twists it all around on me. Im to demanding, unreasonable and ask to much of him. That's just one weekly issue. I have thousands!

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

That's difficult. Twisting stories is something Hijackals excel at!

@Gwen13061 3 жыл бұрын

I can hardly get a straight direct answer from the simplest questions. In my experience, it hasn’t been lying so much as just not giving me a response to what I have asked. I have thought it was a cognition problem on their part. There are other weird responses I get. It’s like he takes what I’ve said and reinterpreted to what he thinks I could have asked him. Awful!

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

Yes, that IS awful! It would seem that he is looking for ways to "win" and feels his strategy protects himself in some strange way. It's an unusual take on "only ask me questions I can benefit from answering," isn't it? And, if you don't ask those questions, I'll warp the question into one I have an advantage asking. Strange!

@maryburton-majure5350 3 жыл бұрын

My room mate was ok at first. Then over two years he's become more interested in my coming and going....where I went. How "worried" he was about me. I always noticed he would leave out just enough info that I could remember speaking @ some subject but not the OMITTED details! If I bucked it he would suggest that maybe something was wrong w me? Then, about 2 wks ago, he started implying he was concerned I might be suicidal??? Wth? He said, "because you said it!" Noooooo...I jokingly reached for the sky and said the worlds gone crazy! I'm ready to go! So, the best strategy is to not give them extra fuel and get away from them.

@smallhouseinthemeadow6131 3 жыл бұрын

@@maryburton-majure5350 "Worried", is another word for "I want to control you"...

@aussieopalgirl2915 3 жыл бұрын

@@smallhouseinthemeadow6131 oh that is a good way to see it like this. Never crossed my mind earlier

@smallhouseinthemeadow6131 3 жыл бұрын

@@aussieopalgirl2915 I only know from experience.My husband and my mother are always "worried" about me.They both like to try to control me.I butt heads with them both, but have decided to politely ignore them when they are like that.

@Dee010s Жыл бұрын

Thank you so much for this, Dr Shaler

@letitiafaure 2 жыл бұрын

I have been going through abuse emotionally; physically; verbally and financially for more than 30 years. My husband refuses to go for couple counselling. He has a very short temper and erupts unexpectedly. 😭 right now I am getting the silent treatment because I asserted myself.

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

Most Hijackals refuse to go to counseling. Those who do mostly go because they believe they can charm, seduce, and manipulate the therapist into believing their story and join them in re-wounding their partners.

@dizzyd3670 2 жыл бұрын

In my case going to counseling was a huge mistake. All she did was try to manipulate the counselors. And she did it to the first 3. The 4th counselor took my side when she physically attacked me in the counseling office. Then she would never go again after that. If you do go make sure the counselor knows about NPD disorder.

@cindyguild8086 Жыл бұрын

My husband told me 2 years ago hw won't be seen in public with me . And I'm pretty ...and so we go no where together ...

@amazingjane2703 8 ай бұрын

@@cindyguild8086get out!

@keithachrem2872 8 ай бұрын

Did he tell you why he wouldn’t be seen with you

@PrivateGrotto 9 ай бұрын

You're a Dear. I'm glad you're in my algorithm. Keep up the great work.

@marnicardenas2918 4 ай бұрын

Love your videos and examples are spot on! My son married a narcissist ! He met her in a bar and six months later they got married so she could supposedly go see her grandmother in Mexico. She’s well educated they’re both employed, but now I don’t see my son anymore. I would love to share more…it’s so much

@joshlyngreever1352 2 жыл бұрын

God bless you you are so kind to offer your help to so many in need who do not have the finances or ability to receive professional help. Our world need more people like you! Blessed are the peace makers!

@cmuir6757 7 ай бұрын

I am so glad you mentioned the therapist who gets the charm turned o and they succumb. This happened 3 times to me which has left me very cynical as to therapists. My husband's trick was to tell a funny joke to start charming the therapist. He never told jokes in any other situation.

@janm9610 Жыл бұрын

I'ts a shame how many people are mentally messed up 👺

@indianagirl500 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you Learning what I didn’t learn before . Thank you so much for Clarification

@margaretahogberg6869 2 жыл бұрын

I can recognize it all You are talking about. Thank You for telling me about it again. I do appreciate your effort's 👌🤗

@b_b_b5146 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you for helping me to understand my family so well. As you were talking, my eyes widened. In the process of recovering and healing these traumas and gaining more objectivity, I wonder myself how a human being is able to treat another in such a degrading way! Have a nice weekend. :)

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

You are so welcome. Seeing it clearly is an excellent start!

@deborahhoffman7394 2 жыл бұрын

My entire family tries to gaslight me. Its very dysfunctional and crazy-making. I am working very hard of distancing myself from them. Adult kids and the grandkids. Love them but they are making mr miserable. You are right on the dime about all of this.

@jackiep5009 2 ай бұрын

Someone FINALLY explains to me in a simple understandable way what “trauma bond” means and looks like in practice. I hear it a lot but it is not well explained

@bodymindsoul60 3 жыл бұрын

I love you , your so spot on!

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

I'm glad you're finding these useful!

@emarteliz 2 жыл бұрын

I got mixed up with him in 2003 and it took me until 2018 to get away from him, now he’s suing me, and lying to everyone that I did stuff to him. He made my life horribly that it is taken me so long to get over it all. Just an example he would do is kick me in his sleep and say he was having a dream he was fighting. I knew he was lying 🤥

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

Good for you for moving on when someone makes your life horrible! It often seems that freeing yourself from them completely takes forever. They lie, cheat, triangulate, whatever it takes to "win" in their minds. I hope you're soon free of having to think about him.

@pattyrooney1323 8 ай бұрын

Thank you for sharing your knowledge.

@MM-op6ys Жыл бұрын

It is incredible how they all do the same thing and use the same tactics. I have experienced everyone of the ways that the Dr. describes. I am so glad I found you, Dr. Shaler.

@laurieannJake 2 жыл бұрын

And as I listen I realize I have done some of these things and I know that I have reacted I feel I recognize it and I honestly feel I never saw how horribly he did this and I would stonewall and shut down.. and I would react after boundaries were crossed, jealousy turned accusatory etc etc , gaslit etc

@Starrrwarrrs6rbluey 2 жыл бұрын

They think they can tempt me into doing bad things. I can do bad all by myself.

@ladyluck5248 7 ай бұрын

My own brother thinks it’s okay to say toxic hurtful things to me and when I respond and defend myself I’M the bad guy. I walked away from him. I’ll probably never speak to him again because the last time he pulled this I told him he’s now lost the right to ever speak to me again. I’m fine with that. I’m sick of being told I’m a horrible person. I know my reality and I know I’m not. I don’t put up with abuse. There’s plenty of people in my life that love me I don’t need him abusing me because he’s jealous of me.

@AlwaysLime 4 ай бұрын

I feel like gaslighting ties into fawning. The person fawning will flat out lie to maintain a facade of peace and avoid the displeasure of another.

@mariahconklin4150 2 жыл бұрын

I too have done some gas lighting unfortunately I am guilty of it. Only difference is that I’m trying to change.

@laurieannJake 2 жыл бұрын

No they don’t listen and they try to play dumb and then ask deliberate gaslighting questions like what is it that you want to talk about? Or give me examples I don’t understand what you mean… oh yes you absolutely do Plausible lies - definitely sketchy truth Weaponized ambiguity … EXACTLY!!! And then later it’s “ I never said that” 😠😠😠

@silethaking279 5 ай бұрын

Thanks!

@j_mae999 2 жыл бұрын

Parents and partner! Had to cut them all off! Too many years of emotional abuse.

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

Good for you for doing what is best for your emotional health!

@jeanmarie9797 8 ай бұрын

Thank you so much! You have put into words so much of what I have gone through with one of my sisters and then my daughter, she spent a lot of time gasslighting me to her. What I have realized is she used my daughter as a way of hobbling me and also punishing me. The eggshells, the lies, rge gasslighting are really traumatic!

@christineebbinghaus9433 2 жыл бұрын

My soon to be ex-husband would tell me things like "that shouldn't be a problem." When it became a problem, he would then tell me, "I said it shouldn't be a problem, not that it wouldn't be a problem." He knew he was leading me to believe that it wouldn't be a problem, and then make me feel crazy when I was upset for it being a problem. So glad that I am now out of that situation.

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

It sounds as though you've made a wise choice for yourself.

@just_peachy6582 2 жыл бұрын

Mine says , I’m a simple person (him) I like to think of myself as simple.. and love a simple life and I make things so complicated and I’m so annoying for it , when all I do is try to communicate with him in a healthy way and it spirals out of control and gets switch around on me so fast it hard not to lose my cool . He can never take responsibility for anything. It’s always someone else fault or this or that . After he has started how simple he is sometimes (depending on the situation) I can say well so much for things being so simple . I mean can he seriously think he is simple ? When he is anything and everything but simple , I am simple and I simply want to deal with issues in a calm healthy manner in order to get a problem resolved to love on with my day . When he says stuff like you ruin everyday or I just ruin his life he is so stressed out and hates me . (He says things like this when he’s cheating or talking to other women to get me to be quite and I just try to stay far away from him out of fear . But I’m starting to figure out his tactics and reasoning behind them

@jeannettejo1 2 жыл бұрын

Good word!!!

@dianebarron8362 2 жыл бұрын

he has never been sly and manipulative and dishonest but he is now at 68 I CAN'T STAND IT.

@Baldfacepaints Жыл бұрын

Why do they do this? My son has been an addict for 8 years and has turned into a narcissistic gaslighter. He has berated his gf so much she has zero self esteem and also started using but is sober now. Their kids 9-10 don’t want to be there. My son was never like this before. He lies and pretends there’s nothing wrong with him . I want to knock him out it’s so disgusting

@mpacino1224 5 ай бұрын

Mine lies about the most ridiculous things. I can only imagine what they are really hiding.

@Lara77473 2 жыл бұрын

Also when my family gaslight me and lies, they act like I am attacking their character if I dare to hurt them enough to call them out on anything

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

That's typical of Hijackals! Stay strong and clear, refusing to believe their gaslighting. It's worth it!

@vivdoolan6846 Жыл бұрын

I know how you feel , same insanity happened to me.

@saidasimerofhok5597 2 жыл бұрын

This was worth listening to while I was doing some chores when I have enough money I'm definitely going to get that online course

@ThePaganpat 8 ай бұрын

My grown son gaslights me a lot , however I could care less and I don't take it personally. I see it as his problem and not mine. But when he stabs my car tires and hammers my counter tops and throws bowling balls into my pool and hell knows what else, it really bothers me and I don't trust him and I look for ways to get hem out of my life. He lives too close to ignore, in a separate part of the house.

@bundybeamiana949 2 жыл бұрын

It's so much harder when it's your parent doing this because you can feel so trapped. I don't know if i'll get out of my situation alive but if i do, i will open a shelter when i have the means to help children who have been abused by their parents and have no other support

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

Having abusive parents is very difficult, I know. I hope that you have a plan to leave and that you can execute it successfully.

@nayedia 2 жыл бұрын

My partner says " there's no reaction without n action, me being the action that causes his reaction " or a tribe saying " a woman does not cook what her man does not eat" I just realised all that i have been reading, watching , learning has been my for at least the past years of my life. Emotionally drained... experiencing Gaslighting, emotionally unintelligent husband, intimate anorexia. He literally said if i am more supportive, then he will be more able to meet my emotionally needs

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

That's crazy-making, right? Such a circular argument so that he doesn't have to take responsibility for any of his behaviors.

@dianebarron8362 2 жыл бұрын

Does that mean be at will to have more sex when he wants it?

@thewanderingwayfarer1686 2 жыл бұрын

Mine says the EXACT same thing.

@nocapp6180 2 жыл бұрын

OMG Yessss that statement about get to know their parents most Narcissist dont like being @ their parents but yesss get to know their parents unless they are adopted because Narcissism is genetics its either the Dad who are a Narc or the Mom side or Both.....& being raised by one you can learn some of their traits like short patience being in that environment of a toxic person its a learned behavior too.....

@AlwaysLime 4 ай бұрын

I will say that some neurodivergent people struggle to make eye contact and it has nothing to do with being dishonest. I definitely have this struggle. While a person is talking to me, my focus is split between making myself look at a spot on the person’s face and listening to what they are saying. It’s a lot easier to look at their nose or forehead than their eyes and actually engage in what they are saying.

@karenherrera287 6 ай бұрын

"Who does that?!" I have definitely said that one!

@michellewilkinson8458 8 ай бұрын

Yesssss! Says I never listen to a word he said. Even though I could repeat it back verbatim. Or he'd say I never said that... don't put words in my mouth.

@nocreativename 2 жыл бұрын

You have such a precious voice 😍

@neveragain733 9 ай бұрын

I belive my ex was a sadist. I told her my previous relationship ended in cheating and i suffered a nervous breakdown. I asked her to never cheat on me and she did. Years of her constantly texting. Leaving the house for hours on end. I am now really mentally damaged. I threw her out. She saw me suffering. She saw my panic attacks. She stood cold and just watched.

@amazingjane2703 8 ай бұрын

I understand. Please know it wasn't you.l8ving with evil is shattering but they're losers, so don't water the tares they planted.

@dgh5223 2 жыл бұрын

I’m just adding how a husband shouldn’t put the wife down. What makes them think this is ok? Marriage vows says “love and to cherish”.

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

You're right! No one needs to be putting anyone else down. Hijackals, though, cannot abide equality, so they traffic in emotional abuse.

@nicoleastolfi407 2 жыл бұрын

Well sometimes I feel like it might be me but I'm tired of trying to figure out who's what

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

I understand. The whole relationship can be overwhelming and exhausting.

@BedfordFalls7 Жыл бұрын

My husband whom I have had it with, has been messing with me for 22 years. Screaming, verbal abuse, yelling, blaming, passive aggressive. Never had sex once we married! He wanted a silent partner or room mate, not a wife! Obviously. All I wanted was a nice guy. He came along acting so nice and perfect and acting like he cared so much about me. His wife had died and he had a 7 year old boy. He didn't want to be a single father so he got me to believe it was that he loved me but it was really marry me to get a babysitter, cook, cleaner. Then he would always be angry at me and the son. Mad all the time just about. He does the silent treatment garbage and stays away from me. Then he will come downstairs and ask "What do you want to eat" to go get food out. I never want to give in to him but I end up ordering. Sometimes I just say Nothing. I want Nothing . I don't drive. Huge mistake to not have gotten a license a long time ago. If I had it I'd have been gone years ago. Oh, and he will not tell me how he grew up. I have tried and tried but he will not tell me about his life. He also makes me feel uncomfortable when I watch TV. He will call it out. Truth is, he is a bore who can't sit still to watch anything and he is jealous. And now I'm 65. I feel I wasted so many years of what could have been a happy life. Well, better now then never to leave.

@jesusfaith2232 13 күн бұрын

I pray you are out 1 year later 🙏

@nicolesavioz6601 2 жыл бұрын

They use hypnotic inductions, that is why it is so difficult to stay sane and centered.

@queendivine3044 2 жыл бұрын

I watched a video last night that said something about codependent I know I'm not a codependent. I don't look for love and support outside of me. I don't need to be the center of someone else attention. The truth is I like the silence and the respect and inner peace I have when toxic people and people who are not good for my health are gone. It has been a uphill battle getting this technology out of my life. I went through so much mental mess because of these people. My ex would say things like that. He would say that I that he knew me yet he was being told things from others who only would accuse and assume things. I always felt as if I was being attacked and accused. I was because I had brain fog and depression from these people and I knew I needed to make plans to get out of the mental mess they was causing me. You don't belittle and attack someone because you believe you are in control and someone is suppose to listen to you live a life that is going to make the people out of you happy. Your in charge of your own happiness. Self love is apart of you no longer living this life that toxic family or an ex is pleased about if you surrender and stay in a box full of gaslighting and attacks. They will tell you that you said you said something you didn't say. They will turn around and turn something you have said into you said something that was harmful and then it's another mess. It's like gang stalking where they gang up on you and accuse you or crap twisting things is what they do. I moved the opposite direction from them all and it's like a sick game they play. The trauma bond and love bombing they do makes you more sick to the stomach because these people really try to use religion even to manipulate who you are suppose to be and what you are suppose to give them after the amount of evil and wrong they have intentionally done to you. I want to tell everyone that you should remove yourself from them and work on your healing but it comes from removing yourself from these people. You can't get well around the same people who got off getting you sick. The only way to end it is to cut all ties with these people. Toxic abusive people will play the victim. When I fell you that you deserve better you do. These are the type of people that even though I'm no longer a Christain I will not be manipulated or forced to have a connection or trauma bond with people who know they are not good. The rose colored glasses is nothing when it comes to such people take them off when people show you who they are believe them. Don't gaslight yourself repainting a picture about them. Evil is evil wrong is wrong. The worst thing you can do is make excuses for them

@Thearian6664 3 жыл бұрын

In my case the silent treatment isnt used. Very very rarely is it used. He just keeps getting angrier and angrier until he is in full rage. I am afraid of that rage so of course I bow down and do what he wants, when he wants, how he wants it. Not long ago he was saying that he wanted the tv off at night, something about prolonging the life of the tv. I said I would look into it and see what I could find out. He said no you dont get it I want the tv off at night. So I said okay I'll figure out how to use the sleep timer and make sure I set it every night. He said I don't want you to use the sleep timers! I dont want the tv on at all at night! why cant you just say ok?! I said ok. He exploded. Screaming that he hated me, how evil I was, and threatening me. I was extremely shocked! I said but I said ok like you wanted. He said yes but look at what all it took for me to get you to do it! You argued and argued with me! I actually never argued with him. I was agreeing and trying to compromise by using sleep timers.

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

You are experiencing the depth of need for power of a Hijackal, sadly. They want instant agreement to validate their power. You were offering good solutions, for sure. Sadly, the Hijackal doesn't care about the TV, the electricity, or the cost. The Hijackal wants absolute power and your immediate acceptance of their edicts. One problem is that, if you give them that absolute power in order to stop the anger, they will continue to want more power. Are you up for that?

@Thearian6664 3 жыл бұрын

@@ForRelationshipHelp I dont know, most of the time my brain feels like scrambled eggs. We have been together for 21 years, but the last 3 years have been the worst. Do you think you could help me sort through all the confusion? If I must walk away I want to be able to walk away with a clear conscience, knowing that I did everything I could to try and make it work.

@dianebarron8362 2 жыл бұрын

@@Thearian6664 I would say - Don't try to make IT WORK --- try to make YOU work in your new life , I am nobody but I feel like they don't change , they just get worse

@demetricchapman460 Жыл бұрын

SMH

@mamadoom9724 7 ай бұрын

My husband will randomly accuse me of crazy things out of nowhere. Like he will say to me “you think I’m cheating on you!” It will come out of nowhere, when we’re just hanging out and everything is peaceful and happy. Then when I try to explain that i don’t think that at all he refuses to let me talk and starts getting loud and yelling over me. It usually ends up with me trying to tell him that I swear on my entire families lives that I wasn’t thinking he’s cheating in any way whatsoever, but he doesn’t listen. He won’t even let me speak and then he says “I don’t want anything to do with your drama!” It’s so crazy because he just does this out of nowhere when there was absolutely no drama at all and it’s just this crazy scenerio he makes up in his head for no reason. It’s insane. I’m really thinking that he’s a hijackal and he’s had me fooled for a long time. I’ve really been thinking about leaving but our home is under a contract that we can’t sell it for 19 more years and neither one of us can afford to cover the bills ourselves. It’s really a mess. If only I had the money I would leave.

@StarSurvivor1585 7 ай бұрын

Its like being beaten down on a constant basis. I internalized all the hate and blame from all the sick and toxic behavior. Blamed myself... forever. Its sick. Very sick

@adebolaadejumo8576 2 жыл бұрын

Been gaslighted for 17 years

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

That sad and difficult. It makes you second-guess yourself sometimes, doesn't it?

@adebolaadejumo8576 2 жыл бұрын

@@ForRelationshipHelp very sad indeed

@tracey-lu4kx 7 ай бұрын

You know what disturbs me the most? It’s the whole community’s that join the abuser. Maybe NZ is over populated with these mean types … but really the victim is abused by all… not a few.

@karenherrera287 6 ай бұрын

Wow. I learned alot. I thought gaslighting was smaller than it actually is

@alleneckes 2 жыл бұрын

The one I can't stand is tell me how I'm feeling. (Your angry, you can't be bothered, missing in action when, your this or that) even when I feel calm she tells me how I am feeling so I go gray rock

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

Gray rock is a good option, and even better when you can do it without malice. Just be present, and neutral.

@muslimwarrior9891 2 жыл бұрын

I feel like telling me what to love and not love is gaslighting and such right ? Yep I knew

@ForRelationshipHelp 2 жыл бұрын

Yes, but more when they tell you THAT you love someone, even when you don't.

@khalidquadmill3339 3 жыл бұрын

thank u doctor

@ForRelationshipHelp 3 жыл бұрын

You're very welcome!

@pennymacksonleisure6906 2 жыл бұрын

Well I been out of my relationship for 3 years and feel great he were the same way

@ladyoftheveil8342 2 жыл бұрын

My dad was an alcoholic narc, that's partly why I have CPTSD

@lpeterson2765 8 ай бұрын

They roll their eyes

@musiccapsule1379 8 ай бұрын

So true. They are the exact reflection of their parents. You cant expect them to be different. We are the great imitators of our parents so if you dont like what you are seeing in your partner well its better to abandon it rather than to go through all the trouble. They will not change.

@denisemaestas9584 Жыл бұрын

Yikes !! so my daughter is exactly like this but turns it around and said I gas light her I have done it my whole like so i had to look what that even meant and listening to this I am realizing she gas lights every one around her but when I call her out on the lies I am wrong, I am the lier, I am the gas lighter?? WTF this hurts my brain.lol