It isn’t just the differences within our relationships, it is also the differences in our personalities. It is not possible to understand how a person will grieve loss. My examples; when my mother died at age 90, I was sad but my sister was devastated. Now, when my dog died, I was a total mess. It does not bother me how well I took my mom’s death, it does bother me how poorly I handled my pet’s death. So we don’t even know how we will grieve let alone how others will.

I agree 100% and it's something I've thought about a lot recently. There's a beautiful quote by Jamie Anderson that deeply influenced the way I think about grief: "Grief, I've learned, is really just love. It's all the love you want to give but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go." It's absurd to let social relations dictate what kind of grief we're allowed to feel and express openly. Some families are fallen apart and some people have to work through a more profound grief when a close friend dies. Grief is really just as intense as the love we have for the deceased. I've thought about it a lot recently because Covid regulations in my country dictate that only the closest, biologically related family members are allowed to attend a funeral - and that is the most misinformed approach to the concept of funerals and grief I have seen in a while.

Yes, and it goes both ways. When the time comes for my mom or husband (a LONG TIME from now), I’ve already announced I will be a basket case & should not be responsible for anything. However, for any other human, I grieve differently. I’m more concerned about the family that’s been left behind. It’s more about support. The day after the burial, holidays within the first year, birthdays, I make sure they aren’t alone. It doesn’t mean they have to be with me, I just make sure they aren’t alone. Grieving continues after the casseroles are gone. That’s when I step in. Possibly because I don’t make casseroles.

Coming from a huge family I have lost so many people. My 4 grandparents, 10 aunts and uncles, my sister, my father, my father in law, cousins and friends, etc. and being in funeral after funeral so many times doesn't make you stronger, doesn't makes you used to having someone die. Because like you said, every relationship is different and grief will manifest in different ways. I have never acted the same or felt the same way. My faith is the only thing that helps me go one knowing one day I will be with them again.

I totally agree with you. We all do grieve differently. I deal with each loss in my own way. In the end we still need to move on. You'll always have that person in your heart. Remember the good and be respectful of the other. Thanks for the videos. Cheers!

Omg yes, my dad was killed in Iraq and I never met him. I have people tell me “oh I know you’re pain” because this is a military death and it’s not very common to know someone who’s lost a loved one overseas. So when I get that comment I’m like “no you don’t, stop trying to compare my pain to yours since you haven’t experienced this kind of loss and you knew you’re loved one” or my favorite comment I get “you were 9 months old when your dad passed, get over your grief” instead of learning to cope it just pushes you a million steps back in your grieving process and nothing is being done to help you.

I agree 100%! Everyone has to grieve in there own way depending on the relationship to the person. I agree with you again Lauren that it’s not fair to say to someone “ you don’t know what I’m going through “. You’re right, how could they? They didn’t have the same relationship as you did. I know for me personally, sometimes I have to go to the cemetery alone after the funeral to let out my emotions. No tears or anger, just leaves me with a feeling of everything will be okay.

I lost my dear grandfather during the pandemic, a week before Christmas and it's so hard for me to process this grief. We were unable to see each other for almost a year, so in my mind I just cant come to terms with not seeing him again.

my dad died nearly 4 weeks ago and our relationship was not the happy and close one of a father and daughter. it was at best very complicated and very toxic. on my part I ha e always loved him but not always liked him as he was a very flawed person who caused a lot of pain not only to me but to my mum and brother and other people. having said all that although I couldn't be with him right at the end I was able to spend several days at the hospital with dad and it was like everything that has gone on in the past didnt matter any more, it was very sad and very profound knowing that although at the time dad was still alive he was dying. ive felt crazy angry with him sin e and still do some days but mostly I just feel numb.when I think about that time in hospital when I talked to him and told him that it was OK and go with mum and that despite everything I love him I just feel sad deeply sad. when mum died that was sudden and the grief I felt and sometimes still do was crushing and unbearable and I felt like I was drowning it was brutal. griefs not the sake for any of us and its very sneaky and doesn't work in any pattern or sense.

Agreed. Completely. Although there are commonalities to the grieving process, our relationships are as different as the people (and animals!) themselves. While the process is both interesting and helpful to understand, it's not a map or recipe for each grieving experience. Each of those are still a bit mysterious.

My dad passed in May 2009 and my mom passed in Dec 2017 I'm still grieving for my parents. I hate it when people say "that's along time to still be grieving your parents"

I 100% agree with this topic cuz it literally took me almost 6 years to grieve my Grandma’s death which I’m glad I did.

Good to see you back! Happy spring

I do agree with you a100 with the Greving out look

Also there is usually a more delayed reaction from most men too, which I experienced when my father died but my mother was a little hysterical after I texted her at work that the paramedics were trying to revive him.

I agree with you. I was also wondering if funeral workers have to get the Vaccine? I still grieve the passing of my grandparents. I was very close to both of them. I am glad I am not alone.

Are you ok Lauren? Miss your videos