mareelovely Say it again for the ppl in the back!!

Amen

Amen

Serenity prayer!! Yesss!

Perfect

Great advice!

So true, I too have been there and done that! And yes, yes, yes! The best revenge is living well and being blessed!!

ob2be1 so true, I’ve been in that situation too & this too shall pass.

Thanks 😊

It's not hard. Just never give him any real feelings in the first place. Save your feelings and emotions for God and your children.

💯💯💯💯

NEVER do this! Grant the person forgiveness, and move on with your life. Men don’t respect women who take them back, even if they WANT to. NO second chance...He’s lucky he got one.

Yep!!

Childdd did he say he left her for the “coworker.” He moved in with the coworker playing house, and when that didn’t work out he had the nerve to get upset that she was playing around with another guy. I understand, that she forgave him since they were so young, but when he tried to make her out to be the bad person because she tried to move on too that was RED FLAG all day. Sorry this happened to you lady, but he will never honor you the way you feel you should be honored.

She is the problem not him she need to move on and keep praying over her kids life. He basically said he don’t won’t her and he is getting married she needs to heal and move on and process the change💯Women you know always have the eye for your man watch the cut throat women in your circles and surrounds💯👁

Exactly

AMEN

If they don’t have Jesus

so true i know even men in their early 60s being immature and playing games

MY HUSBAND

That’s a blessing I’m so happy for you!

Love at first sight for you both? Some “whirlwinds” are the real thing indeed.

I’m sure you two meeting was a clean meeting and you both took time to heal from previous situations. That sort of thing can happen but it’s rare. Those that hop around and do dirt will get dirt. Happy for you!

Wow but weren't you scared thinking this was too fast? Honestly I tend to feel like that when a man approaches me talking about marriage.

Lord, I am trusting You for a quick and wonderful marital settlement.

Facts! This is why we’re not supposed to have sex before marriage. We spiritually connect with people we have no business being with.

If he was a real man he would have married her. Laid with her all those years and had 3 babies and married someone else. What a loser! Yes soul ties are real.

Lady Empress that’s it right there!! Life is too short! God should be #1

Lady Empress Amen!

Yes she needs to ask God to break the soul ties.

I agree. Maybe she's holding on to the fact that they've basically been together on and off for 14 years

I agree. As big an a-hole and jerk her ex is, he's actually right about a few things. He doesn't need her permission to have their children around his new lady. He doesn't even need to justify why he's with her, it's not her business. As long as the kids are good, that should be the extent of her concern. She's driving herself crazy with all the other mess.

dont judge people it easy said than done!

Julie I think it’s quit easy for her to mind her business and move on with her life. The entire letter is about him. When she levels up as a woman, she will see that.

Lauryn J how you mean changing her appearance?

Hallelujah 🙌 He wasted her youth and she is now upset about him doing in 3 months for another woman what he wouldn't do for her in 15 YEARS!!! Time is too precious to be wasted.

@@Ms_T_Perfectly_Imperfect it sure is!! Women have to stop allowing men to string them along!!

THANK YOU!!!!!!! Although I hate that she went through this shenanigans with this dude, but she ALLOWED this to happen because she settled. He was NOT loyal to her by ANY means, just because someone pops out kids for you doesn't mean nothing... Thankfully she is still young (29) isn't old by any means. She needs to get herself together, level up, and be prepared for the HUSBAND God has in store for her.

@@justanotherabc8888 Yess!! Level up and move on! He has shown her who he is!!

@@SunShyne-of3xj Amen indeed. He's BEEN shown her who he is, she gotta be the one to step out on faith now.

Liszz exactly smh

i agree...been there done that!

Liszz that’s the truth. Once you have experience with a narcissist and know what it is, you can spot them from a million miles away

@@PinkGirlTeaches that's right. Unfortunately I had to experienced the narc also. But, now I am wiser and stronger, with more knowledge. I know the rules of the game.

Liszz it’s so difficult recovering from that kind of abuse and it’s unlike a regular breakup but I am so glad to be narc free and I am now at the point where I am thankful for the experience cause I grew from it and learnt so much. All the best to you!

T Damn 3 times! maybe something is wrong with you then lol

That's how it goes they were so young

Yes they will,my sister dated a man for 15 years with three kids together...he married the NEXT woman within the years ....but now he wish he would have married my sister..

Cheryl Baylee true! So many women give away too much too soon trying to keep a man who won’t marry her because he got everything from her too fast 💨

Rule of thumb... A man will marry you because you didn’t give up everything. When a man chooses a wife he looks at that no matter how much fornicating he himself did in his past.

I think you solve the mystery

That means He finally found someone more foolish than her .

Some people get married after only knowing each other for 3-6 months

Come on with it broke up with my ex after being with him 5 years 2 months later a new females months later they had a child he was already dealing with her now this was 2016 here it is 2020 he ask for sex sometimes no who I'm deal with etc but still with the girl smh soul ties we have a child together he treat me like shit smh

🤣🤣🤣😂

Cher H say it again 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

@@ashleygoodrich3294 💯💕

Amennnn 🙌🙌🙏

@@woodlineariste8563 💯❤

BOOM!!

She is trauma bonded to the narcissist you have to be mentally strong to move on she needs counseling!

Tt jax ....excellent testimony

The best revenge 💪😂👏👏

That's gold

AMEN

Amen

That's what I was thinking I as some time goes by she'll be glad he left

Amen ❤️

Yes ❤️

Joy H. THAT!!🙌🏽

Only if she changes. She is still desperate for a man

I agree Joy.

Joy H. - She’s not a Single Mom. There is no such thing! She’s an SINGLE WOMAN with children.

@@thatbemefool I like that... I struggle with the label "single mom", but "single women with children", is so much easier to process and removes the sting for some reason. Thank you for the much needed clarification.

Exactly. She needs to be praying for her God ordained spouse.

Yasssss!!! 🤗

I felt this

How consoling. She was a fool and you know it. Three babies with a man who ain't married to her...pulizzz

@@ThestorytellerofKatunga so you never made any mistakes??? We all did something foolish b4

Facts

I required marriage with my boyfriend too but he thinks I'm pressuring him. We've been together almost 3 years!

Thank you. I wondered if I was alone on that

What do you mean she didnt put up witb the crap the wife did? Hes cheating on the wife not her of course she dont gotta deal with nothing.

@@asill.6668 then leave . Don't waste anymore time.

HeirtotheKing yup.. Bc he is who he is.. That women gonna play him out..

YASSSSS First thing I heard in her explanation of him. PURE NARCISSISM. No more to say but .. #trackshoes

He may or may not but regardless she giving too much energy to that situation she expects so much from other people and she doesn’t realize it

Not really. You should have woken up long ago

Yes once he completely levels up as a man he'll leave his wife for a younger version.

She gave her youth to a man that wasn't worth her.

It was her choice.

Let go, let God. 🙏🥺🤪. Been there, done that! Loved a man for 5 years, i broke up with him, we both cried but I believed that if he didn't marry me after 5 yrs Maybe I am Not the one for him. GUESS WHAT! BY THE NEXT YEAR HE WAS MARRYING SOMEONE ELSE. True! Yes, me and my new fiance went to the wedding, yes she was walking down the aisle in white and Pregnant. They are still married, I married had Daughter and divorced. Just sayin. I'm now dating and 66🤗

She's going to be ok, have Faith and go forward 🙏💓🌹

29 is still young so she got lucky

Unfortunately you're probably in a minority of black girls who grew up with real fathers.

I was 20 years old when I had my first date

Shawn Reed I hope these fathers and mothers are teaching their teenagers how to date and how to value themselves. If not, waiting till you’re out of your teens to date is a mistake to me.

@@faa1412 Very true. I was raised in a two parent home. I can recall, most of the young girls around me didn't have much of a relationship with their fathers.

Not necessarily, the woman did not have to have known who you were to him, for that matter , know you period. Just, because she stood with the pastor, to pray for you. I'm sure, she have stood in back of lots of people, getting prayer without knowing them. In some Churches, they don't date, a man may approach, a woman and say that God said she is his wife, she then seeks the Lord and confirm, what he saying is true, if so, they get married. The woman's not desperate, she just trying to please God. Now the woman with the babies has no claim on him, except child support. If you find a man and begin to act like you are his wife and have 3 children, by him, without marriage. That man is still free to marry, someone else. You are free to marry also. I would not say this was the idea way he should have done you, but it is what you allowed. Needless to say, y'all arrangement wasn't base on the idea situation in the 1st place. Now if this man decides to let that old life go, and take on a whole new life that does not involve sin, you go too. He was fornicating with you. There is a possibility, that, he could not get that from the lady, unless he married her. There are consequences to our action. He owe you, child support and Repentants. However, he is free to move on. It hurt, but you need to be told the truth, so you can face reality. He has, in a way, givien you a glimse of what you should do, whether or not he is sincere with the woman or not. Move on, get your life together, find you some one that is of equally york, or better yet let him find you. Keep your standards up when he get there. I know lots of woman that get nice step dad's who love them, that has 3 or more kids. keep your head up! This is hypothetical, if indeed this is the type of Church they attend and your story occurred, like this. They could be all kinds of reason a person, do what they do. But the base of people action is usually based on the facts.

Ikr..15 years and shes 29..Dangfff

Bwoiiii the friends of mine who left dating late are usually the most naive and end up in the most nonsense when it comes to relationships and men because they lack experience. Get manipulated and screwed over the most. But to each their own I guess. Just cause you date doesn't mean you have to involve sex.

Yes thats true

Exactly!!! That’s what happens when you play house having kids with a man you’re not married to. They are NOT married, and she’s acting like she’s separated from a husband. Men will only do what you allow. That lady has no allegiance to her, they were just at the same church. She does need to heal and move on.

Brianna C satan

Satan has found his match. I wish him the best.

Lawd not satan 😂🤣😂

Lol @ Brianna c.. omg girl you said my thoughts exactly .

Lol

Thank you I was wondering who knew exactly what this woman is going through. Yes, she is accountable for allowing him to treat her like that but that blind siding people, projecting, triangulation...all classic narcissism.

She was 15 when they got together and was clearly under emotional manipulation for 15 years. As a result her self esteem is destroyed and likely does not know how to move on as this male is still in her head. Doesn’t sound like she had a mother or auntie or girlfriends available to help guide her. She needs professional help and after the thot he’s getting married to is in church I would not blame her for not wanting to go to any church for guidance.

I pray that that my current situation ends like this too.

@@Cutegirl8614 it can. It may hurt for a while but u have to choose you. There may be a blessing just waiting on u but you have to do first thing a first. Turn the situation a loose and watch better come to u and it may be when you least expect it.😊

💯👏💯👏💯karma!!!!

@@Cutegirl8614 praying for you Travis Fenrick

Travia not Travis Sorry

He will come back like a boomerang. She'd be a fool if she entertains this.

@Christina A The Lord revealed to me that, the tears I cry now. Would have been multiplied, had I married my ex. Now you think, if he had married you and gave you two kids. He would be stepping out on you, like he's currently doing to his wife. Facts!

@Christina A I concur, I am sorry you had to endure that. You're better off without him. This has only made you stronger and a better mother.

Aww I want Boaz

@@tawanaluster8050 I'm in that number. Just be patient. He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing.☺

I wish I had known this!!

So true

Meee

That isn't true with the children comment because I know plenty of women that have 3 kids or more and are being proposed to, married etc. I am 38, no kids and I am still single so the kids thing isn't a deal breaker....

@@miaporche2256 yes but your friends arent the majority. Its an epidemic. Ppl losing jobs. No men aint trying to add extra on their plate. Alot of men now are wanting to build their own legacy from scratch if you have been watching.

Because all he did, to have children with a woman without really loving her, shows his character and lack of faith! As Tony Gaskins said, how are her character and faith then if can stay with such man..maybe is fault of both of them, she also should not stay with him if he didn't felt to marry her. I don't judge, we have to see their actions to provr the love what they pretend, not believe the words. i had my part of stupidity to stay with a grown boy who was telling that he loves me infinitely, but when i got sick, he ran away, washed his hands, shaked his shoulders, from any responssibility, didn't had emotional support from him, he pretended to have faith in God, but God showed me truth, this behaviour is against conscience, against faith.

Right

Pretty Natural Yeap, they always come back....

Hes not coming back. You all need to stop lying and speak what you know. This woman is broken searching for any offense fueled with a drive to catch because its the only thing that keeps her connected. Hes moving on with a mindset to evolve. Nobody wants a contentious fault finding woman

@@iamwill2283 you're right and wrong lol sometimes when they "come back" to check your pulse lol if the woman becomes a phenoix she will burn him with her light... If not... The cycle may start again ...or go nowhere

@@iamwill2283 maybe be will, maybe not either way she doesn't need him. He sounds like a problem. A confused mess. Listen to all his poor selfish decisions. Hopefully she won't allow him to come back.

Value yourself, get child support MOVE ON!!

Bie M she needs to be slapped. She had all the signs.

I’m hollering! 😳😭🤔🤭

Bie M 😂😂😂😂

I hollered when he said that 😆

@@traditionallyuniquedesigns6531 #HolleringOverHere!!!

Anisa11987 💥 you called it for what it is!

Heather Jones yes when they don’t have as many options and want someone to take care of them!

@@perfectlyyoubeauty yes i agree even way after 40 they trying to figure it out..

l'm in my 50s a lot of men are still trying to hold on their youth, so most don't stop playing till way pass 40s or 50s believe me.

He didn't want them to meet because he didn't want his children's mother to tell her side of the story before the wedding.

Heather Jones Or older I am 42 and I still see them, they don’t realize a diamond til it’s gone.

They were never married. And while the man sounds like a jerk the woman has to take some responsibility. No man can play you unless you allow yourself to be played. Not once in the letter did she take any responsibility for being in that situation. You can make a man love you or stay with you or marry you. Move on just like he moved on.

Who hurt you! You have to be a miserable ass bitch to speak a whole scenario of demise upon their marriage smh she could be the woman that enlightens him. Y’all need to get a life seriously instead of spectating all the time

Wait till she puts child support on him lol. 3 kids under 18...omgoodness.

@@larkford4460 @ I agree with you to a degree. However, at the same time, the truth is, any marriage or relationship that is based on lies, deceit and a weak foundation and most importantly without God doesn't have much of a survival rate. If he is the man as described in the letter, no woman can "enlighten him", he would need to let GOD do that type of work in his life. If he submits himself to the power of God, than yes, his marriage to the new woman will have a chance to work out great.

She wasn't the wife though...

@@justanotherabc8888 for those that dont know the story. She was more his wife then anything else.

@@anthonybarnes9662 Who was more his wife, the actual soon to be wife, or the kids mother whose time he wasted?

I have been discarded too so I really understand what she is going through.

@@justanotherabc8888 The one who had his children. This I know because it's my sister!

Maturity at it's finest. 💜✨

I’m so glad you said this. This is nothing new. She needs to find herself.

Thank you. You have insight girl. They weren't even together so I don't understand most of the comments coming from these women!

I absolutely agree!

Kimberly Scott agree!! 👏🏽👏🏽

Yes I know a woman who just turned 40 and knew her hubby when she was 18 . I heard her say one day that she misses being single lol . She said she really didn’t live life how she should have

I don’t think you gotta get yo hard broken but yes to err thang

Juschelle williams I only think you do because if it don't happen when you're younger, by the time you're 40 you'll be somewhere standing over a bridge or standing in the mirror with a bottle of pills in your hands. I think it teaches you to be stronger and not to think that everything is promised. That's just been my experience personally and indirectly through a few friends.

It takes time. She has a lot of history with him. We should be more compassionate. Some individuals are stronger than others. I'm sure next year around this time she will be in a better place.

Yes,I dated one for 11 years we been broken up about 3 years now.he told me he was going to marry this other WOMEN after dating 2 when she leave her man ĻÔĻ

FLgirlinTX I agree but let’s be honest. Many black Women become desperate because of the lack of quality available men. I wouldn’t beat up on the woman marrying him so much. You want children before it’s too late and you’re tired of being alone so many women settle otherwise they think they won’t ever get married. The main lesson here is do not keep having kids with a man you’re not married to. Kids don’t keep a man.

I agree.

Yup birth control and family planning are essential for black women to have peacefully healthy lives.

@@lcjones4682 I hear you totally

brooklynforever1990 and that is the key!!!!!

So true

batonbeauty Yes the man will think twice with three kids as opposed to one kid

hope_revjfg Smith yesss

@batonbeauty 'duh debill is a lie. NoT "truely" more 'difficult', keep faith in *Christ* *'Chell* had 6 kids 4 baby daddies- before 30yo, New *husband* and she added 2 more. *Jayne* had 3 kids 3 baby daddies, new *husband* and she added 1 more. *Dawna* had 3 kids 1 baby daddy, she and new *husband* added 3 more. They all *learned to close up "shop".* NONE of 'em are "beauty queens"; All of their hubby's in 6 figure industries. Each of them have now been *married* for 12+ years. *God. is. awesome.*

batonbeauty you’re right about that. Very valid point. She’d already left him because he was toxic & they weren’t happy. I think she may be upset due to not letting her know before her kids met the lady & the fact that it’s someone they both mutually knew. However a woman should never ever take a man back who leaves her. Not ever.

This is true...

They change, as Tony said, if they believe that woman is the One, if is true love, don't risk to lose her and when they have faith in God!

It's probably also because she had 3 kids by him (a dumb ass move in my opinion).

@@faa1412 I agree, after baby number one I would have learned my lesson

Okay I get it BUT move on, find yourself in Christ first and rebuild your life.

@@tiffanimoore4693 exactly!

@@tiffanimoore4693 she need to focus on God and redeem herself

Latoya Thornton She misses the person he lead her to believe he was. She doesn’t really miss him. People like this don’t admit fault. You become the terrible person and they come out smelling like a rose . It’s very hurtful, but you know you know the truth. They are going to not be okay just because of the deceitful way the relationship came to be. The current person has no idea what she is in for. 🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

Lol

Not saying you can't still believe in the fairytale but eventually you're going to realize it is just a fairytale

Tracey Boyland agreed ....I think what stings is the other woman got the marriage proposal she has been waiting for...because she wasn’t this upset when he was dating someone when they broke up the first time. We have to take accountability as women for letting men take free rein in our lives. Men can easily walk away and do just what he did.

Exactly. Not everything is surrounded around a man being narcissistic. Sometimes life just throws you a bad hand.

This man is Narcissistic! This women need to move on and be healed.

Neicy Gray bless you and enjoy your freedom Sis.

@@tammilynne thank you & prayers with you as well 💖

@Purple Dove most of the guys who say that gold digging stuff don't even have one piece of aluminum to their names! So you know when they holler that stuff it's pure PROJECTION; they are the gold diggers.