If You're Feeling Overwhelmed Watch This

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Күн бұрын

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Join us for an insightful discussion on effectively managing the experience of feeling overwhelmed. In this video, we'll embark on a journey to diagnose the underlying causes of being mentally overwhelmed and explore strategies to navigate and alleviate this sensation.
Addressing feelings of being overwhelmed requires a multifaceted approach. We'll begin by delving into the root causes, and understanding why the mind experiences this state in the first place. Unraveling these triggers is crucial as it provides a roadmap for instigating change.
▼ Timestamps ▼
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00:00 - Introduction
00:48 - Passive and active challenges
01:49 - The imbalance of challenges
03:23 - I can't choose more challenges
04:01 - Increase the active challenges
05:49 - Behavioral activation
07:09 - Play the tape through
────────────
DISCLAIMER
Healthy Gamer is an online community and resource platform for gamers and their families. It does not provide medical services or professional counseling, and it is not a substitute for professional medical care. Our coaches are peer supporters, not professionally trained experts, and they cannot provide medical service. If you or a loved one are experiencing an emergency, please call your nation's emergency telephone number.
All guests of Healthy Gamer are informed of the public, non-medical nature of the content and have expressly agreed to share their story.
#ad #mentalhealth #overwhelmed

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@HealthyGamerGG Жыл бұрын

Thanks to Milanote for sponsoring this video! Sign up for free and start your next creative project: milanote.com/healthygamer

@dioguito Жыл бұрын

I really think I'm that guy, I started eating way less when I started living alone, i'm -10kg since then, but I was very chubby so i liked it? but idk I might have eating disorder what should I do

@amyamy8177 Жыл бұрын

what if active challenges feel overwhelming too? is there i trick to help with that?

@galaxylucia1898 Жыл бұрын

Thank you for this video AND for demoing this product. Would be insanely helpful.

@adamripplinger6035 Жыл бұрын

This advice and insight is incredible Thank You!!!

@adamripplinger6035 Жыл бұрын

@@dioguito I think one major solution is (sleep but also) to create a consistent safe space for yourself to just sit and just feel what you've gone through *without distractions* in the day or in your past even. I've been developing bad eating habits lately because I need *SLEEEEEEP* . Lack of sleep makes a huge craving for extra carbs and I would highly recommend just googling how sleep effects your cravings and mental health because its *incredibly important* .

@jamesbuchanan1913 Жыл бұрын

This is why overbearing parents can be so deadly. They take all your active challenges and make them passive challenges.

@letsreadtextbook1687 Жыл бұрын

Very good point!

@JLchevz Жыл бұрын

Good observation. They create adults who can't deal with anything.

@And-lj5gb Жыл бұрын

Holy cr*p, that's so relatable! :(

@DizGaAlcam Жыл бұрын

@FlyingMonkies325 you described my life, I'm trying not to cry here

@ashlamccammon4196 Жыл бұрын

@FlyingMonkies325 how do we? I related a lot, however, I haven’t lived with a parent in about 5 years and have my own place across the world in an entirely different country, environment, and culture… yet my mental state is still as if I am with them. It’s transitioned into my romantic and friendly relationships as well, which is a tad bit scary. So, anyone who’s reading this, related, and has moved past it, how did you do it?

@reallyanotheruser7290 Жыл бұрын

No wonder i got absolutely nothing done while living with my parents. They would tell me everything i should do, and the more they told me the less i actually did stuff. Everything, from doing the dishes to going to partys, as soon as they told me it went from an active to a passive challenge in my mind and my motivation would drop below zero.

@SirWolfykins Жыл бұрын

I'm currently in that situation myself and life feels the heaviest it ever has been, if you don't mind me asking how did you get out of it?

@TheMagicOwL127 Жыл бұрын

@@SirWolfykins tbh if you have controlling and/or emotionally abusive parents the main way to solve will be getting out and get some therapy (cbt). If you are too young, or need to stay with them is a mix of what Dr. K said and going out, study in your school/uni instead, go out with friends. Chores and everything else at home will be a secondary thing that you'll have to fit in with the rest of your plans, and so, those become something you need to do, but not your main focus. Also, don't give your parents too many details about your emotions if they are abusive, they'll use it againt you and manipulate you like 'you are never here, it's like i'm living by myself' etc. Hopefully you just have anxious parents that want to support you but are not helping, if they love you and are not abusive you can talk to them and maybe you'll figure out a new system together :)

@reallyanotheruser7290 Жыл бұрын

@@SirWolfykins i mean one thing is that i moved out 😅, but i also told them (often) that its counterproductive if they tell me what to do. They eventually understood this and stopped, tho it took quite a while. It must have been pretty hard for them i believe, since they were doing this out of love. So i guess you gotta be understanding for their pov too.

@PHIplaytesting Жыл бұрын

I lived through a situation where I had to eventually sit my mother down and ask her not to keep telling me how to spend my time. She protested but I was surprised that afterwards she actually stopped and things got a lot better. Just simply talking does so much. Your parents do care about you and they want to do the right things but they often don't know how.

@OnchiBon Жыл бұрын

So relatable. Like, I get home from uni and I'm motivated to cook, do the dishes, clean the kitchen, clean my room and do assignments or study but then my mother tells me to do the one of those things and suddenly I lose all motivation to do anything

@hospie Жыл бұрын

This channel is like discovering a Demon's Souls guide after dying 150 times in the first area, you wish you had known it all from the start but just thinking how many people will find and be helped by this makes you smile. Thank you for everything Dr K!

@ZelphTheWebmancer Жыл бұрын

The only difference is that the community here is way more supportive with new people discovering the content

@JLchevz Жыл бұрын

Don't you dare go hollow

@Rain-gg8vd Жыл бұрын

@@JLchevz I'll wear the untrue dark ring instead...

@Miha-ii3dy Жыл бұрын

If you’re playing a Souls game with a guide you completely missed the point and are playing it “wrong”.

@didinuts5071 Жыл бұрын

@@Miha-ii3dy if you tell people they're playing games wrong, you think you're doing it right and that's wrong

@anewbeggin Жыл бұрын

That explains why I procrastinate by doing other things instead of solving the main problem.

@hereandnow3156 Жыл бұрын

Nah you're just grinding for experience doing the side quests😂

@Femaleurgetopeeloffmyskin Жыл бұрын

I’m so thankful that this isn’t just me wtf I thought it was just my ADHD loop and my brain was breaking

@D_Jilla Жыл бұрын

That one SpongeBob episode in a nutshell.

@AdamSaudagar Жыл бұрын

@@D_Jilla which one?

@D_Jilla Жыл бұрын

@@AdamSaudagar The one about procrastination lol

@mexisamurai7862 Жыл бұрын

It’s like going back and doing a bunch of side quests because the main story boss looks difficult, once we do enough the boss doesn’t seem as difficult and we might get skills that end up helping us in the fight.

@o4_ Жыл бұрын

Thank you for helping us gamers understand better :)

@WanderTheNomad Жыл бұрын

Literally gaining experience

@riisana8177 Жыл бұрын

I like to think that it's more like rusting off your gears by crafting your own quest, instead of taking on an assigned one

@simply_geri Жыл бұрын

that's good analogy 👏👏👏

@Lanesra62905 10 ай бұрын

Try doing that in Dead Rising 🤣

@tafellappen8551 Жыл бұрын

I dont have an eating disorder but ive always found that putting more effort into cooking is the first step to getting out of a slump. Going out of my way to make even just pasta for dinner, rather than a pile of granola bars or a microwave meal or ordering out, always gives me a sense of control and agency.

@jensendsflowers Жыл бұрын

That’s a great tip 🙂 it gives a sense of accomplishment and it feels nice to do something good for oneself.

@whoisjohnwick Жыл бұрын

well done, great recoginition, you could take it further and find passion in cooking for the sake of health. there is something satisfying and reassuring about fuelling your body with the best ingredients. I have found diet important in mental health. Maybe look at more delicious dishes, which also incorporate a range of vegetables and flavours. I like mousaka, u should try make one some time. anything that minimises on carbs is great

@devs.4254 Жыл бұрын

I read this comment as I'm eating a pile of granola bars as my one meal for the day. Poignant. I'll try it thanks.

@htasul Жыл бұрын

couldn't agree more! I've been putting more effort into my food recently and it's helping me get out of my appetite issues.

@pradapunk Жыл бұрын

for me it’s washing the dishes. it sucks getting up for it but i feel so accomplished and ready for more tasks after washing them

@jwhojme 5 ай бұрын

Resonates with the opening of the Serenity Prayer: “Please grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot control, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference”

@Mushroom321- 4 ай бұрын

😮😊

@SuperBlackHurricane Жыл бұрын

This is 100% true. For the longest time I felt like I was drowning in a foot of water. I was struggling to do the bare minimum in my life. Things changed once I started challenging myself in things that I was able to control. Changed everything

@falconbritt5461 Жыл бұрын

Wow. I mean, WOW. This info may help me change my life and outlook and emotional state completely. Thanks, Billy, for verifying it. I believe the doc, but it's always helpful to hear from someone it actually worked for.

@shivs_nb Жыл бұрын

@@falconbritt5461 good luck ❤

@SuperBlackHurricane Жыл бұрын

@@falconbritt5461 go for it! I’m rooting for ya

@andrew9360 Жыл бұрын

Drowning in a foot of water is what I'm feeling right now. Thanks for putting words to it. Stealing this phrase.

@maximr1113 Жыл бұрын

AOE Healing right here, people. Take a good look at its stunning beauty ✨️

@aanaa5277 Жыл бұрын

I was scared to even click on this video because recently I've been so overwhelmed with everything I couldn't add more self awareness to it but still I did click on this video and I'm so glad I did I genuinely feel better and also motivated to tackle everything that's in my way. Thank you Doc, you're an absolutely incredible human being.

@joshurlay Жыл бұрын

You got this Aanaa. This is your reminder to relax and do things that make you feel like you have control over your life.

@Aztokl_xd 8 ай бұрын

This was exactly how I felt, specially the self-awareness part

@ALGARIC 3 ай бұрын

Same!

@J.Darwin Жыл бұрын

Recently I stopped pursuing all active challenges I had to only focus on the massive amount of passive challenges and I've started feeling completely overwhelmed to the point of being paralyzed. Maybe this man knows what he's talking about

@stevecarter8810 4 ай бұрын

This is me too. Why am I unproductive? Because exhausted, because overwhelmed, because everywhere I look are obligations, because I prioritize obligations over wishes. Listening to Dr k, I realised somehow I have a slightly skew notion of "sacrifice" that leads to this.

@thiacari 4 ай бұрын

Sounds exactly like me!!! Because I thought "now I can focus on this difficult stuff", but instead I became paralyzed!

@ziziorens348 Жыл бұрын

It feels so good when someone much more knowledgeable than me puts my feelings into words so eloquently. Indeed, taking on more challenges made me feel SO much better: a month and a half ago I started working out. I couldn't work out in the evenings because of social life, so I decided - I have to force myself to go to sleep early to wake up early. Bam, two challenges in one. While I'm working out at home, I have a lot of free time while resting between the sets. So, why waste that time? Bam, done the dishes. Bam, took out the laundry. Workout is done and I still have time to take a shower and take a walk at my own pace (instead of rushing) to my work. Just one good decision led to many other healthy ones. If anybody reads this, heed my words: it takes one small step. One choice. And even if you fail, you still can get up and try again. What matters is that you try - and those who try succeed. Good luck!

@Crustee0 Жыл бұрын

Just wondering, what the heck is your exercise? How are you able to wash the dishes in-between sets, is it because dishes take less than 5 minutes, and you literally workout near the kitchen? Sounds so weird cause resting period is supposed to let you fully recover from fatigue before pushing your muscles to the limit again with the next set (if building muscle is the main goal)

@ziziorens348 Жыл бұрын

@@Crustee0 it's simple bodyweight mixed with weights workout, I start with pull-ups and yeah, I do it near the kitchen (the pull-up bar was installed before I moved into this apartment). Since rest time is usually set to 2 minutes between sets, it's usually enough to do SOME dishes, but not all of them, so I come back like 3 or 4 times.

@Mushroom321- 4 ай бұрын

Congrats!!🎉🎉😊

@vickimoerschfelder3313 2 ай бұрын

You try, you fail You try, you fail But the only true failure is when you stop trying.

@burt2800 4 ай бұрын

That explains why telling yourself "I I must do this" is so corrosive. I often set goals for myself and then tell myself "I must do them", instead of holding on to the original "I want to do this."

@okfine_33 Жыл бұрын

1.Passive challenges:- Occurred by surroundings 2.Active challenges :- You have taken 3.Increase the number of active challenges. 4.Behavioural activation

@JustAnotherCommenter Жыл бұрын

I think you are an ISTP personality

@okfine_33 Жыл бұрын

@@JustAnotherCommenter what? can you explain

@savstinks6847 Жыл бұрын

@@JustAnotherCommenterWhat have you observed to make you arrive to that conclusion?

@okfine_33 Жыл бұрын

@@savstinks6847 what happened dear ?

@savstinks6847 Жыл бұрын

@@okfine_33 oh they iust assigned u a personality type, it's called mbti, you can look it up

@mrmojo6871 7 ай бұрын

That explains my negative feeling as a parent, so much more „maintenance“ tasks to do and no time left for growth tasks

@katherinegeorge4945 4 ай бұрын

When I look at my dishes and it feels like it is too hard to do them, then looking at dirty dishes makes you think you are depressed because that's what depressed people do and then when you do the dishes you feel less depressed because you don't have a pile of dishes telling you that you are depressed.

@nd4856 Жыл бұрын

I’m trying to finally declutter all the stuff I’ve accumulated from stress buying over the years. It’s not an egregious amount but enough that I recognize it’s an issue. I just wiggled i to bed because I was feeling overwhelmed and opened KZfaq and saw this video. Thank you for this, honestly.

@l.s.11 Жыл бұрын

Did you start decluttering? ;)

@l.s.11 Жыл бұрын

@FlyingMonkies325 We're not all the same. I imagined it as a gentle reminder, if they were stil on their phone (comment was 2 hours old). You say you don't like to share what you're doing to protect yourself from the expectations of others - this person already shared what they're trying to do. So you're not the same in that regard. Some people need some sort of urgency or accountability to get off their ass, and doing things for others (even when you're doing it for yourself, if that makes sense) is more effective.

@nd4856 Жыл бұрын

@@l.s.11 I did actually!! I brute forced the first task by making it small. I decided to start with getting dirty laundry up first, then went basically by category. Ended up with 4 bags to donate and 3 bags to throw away I have more to do but today is emotional support salsa day where I make home made salsa and home made tacos, then I’ll continue 🫰🏻

@l.s.11 Жыл бұрын

@@nd4856 You did the most important step - the first one! :D

@DreamDear Жыл бұрын

That’s amazing! Recently, with me moving out the house, out my mother has been out buying a lot of things. I didn’t realize that telling her not to was actually just making her shopping addiction worse…

@dashadow7865 Жыл бұрын

2 minutes in and I already feel the gold that Dr.K has bestowed upon us

@koda_pop Жыл бұрын

I've unknowingly been doing this and always wondered why I felt better some days tackling my GAD than others. It's because those days I set out to do small menial tasks like cleaning, reading, or going for a walk. That allows me to do larger tasks like scheduling an appointment, attending a social event solo, or trying new things.

@spencerbrown6214 3 ай бұрын

Yes, I find that doing something simple with my hands like the dishes, cooking, laundry or gardening helps me process and calm my mind during overwhelming times.

@MerryMoss Жыл бұрын

After having been 'stuck' for years in a state in which I get overwhelmed incredibly quickly, I think I truly need *this.* I've already noticed that all the times I go out and do something, 'dare' to do something, and experience something fun and/or challenging ~ but I chose for it... that I feel so much in control. I feel confident and hopeful for my life again. It brings tears to my eyes to think that I'm going to get better, and this advice is one of the tools I'm gonna use. Thank you 💚

@Lewdology Жыл бұрын

I watched this video after taking a 3 km walk in the sunny morning, cooking up some rice with vegetables, doing the dishes and only then powering up the PC and launching youtube. Things I would not have done even a year ago. Let's get our stuff together everyone.

@philipstarris1469 Жыл бұрын

What a timing. Been feeling overwhelmed most of the day, because so many people contact me at once all of a sudden.

@theorizedtech Жыл бұрын

I feel overwhelmed about watching this video about... feeling overwhelmed ...paradoxical 😆

@whoisjohnwick Жыл бұрын

@@theorizedtech same haha, youre telling me now i have to go and take on even more challenges? even when im overwhelmed? man i just want to close my eyes and not wake up hahaha

@relja_ Жыл бұрын

Need a lot longer video on this topic. It hit all the checkboxes for me. It feels so relieving when someone describes your problem so accurately. Just knowing that u are not the only one and insane for feeling these things helps a lot. Watching this video made my overwhelm shrink a little.

@spencerbrown6214 3 ай бұрын

I completely agree with your comment 👍

@JustAdudeBoy Жыл бұрын

I just got laid off on Thursday and washing the dishes was actually therapeutic 😮 you knew my thought pattern

@diogenesoliveira6473 Жыл бұрын

Wow, that makes so much sense. Lately I've been hitting the gym, trying to eat better, doing martial arts and it's amazing that despite the hours and energy you spend doing those activities, you get so much more energy to do other things in your life.

@nyarparablepsis872 Жыл бұрын

This explains so much. I've been overwhelmed by passive challenges life threw at me for almost a year now, which left me in a complete slump. I randomly decided to start doing stuff that I figured would be very difficult for me (hobbies, hygiene, writing that *&$@^ thesis)... and expected everything to get worse. But it got better! My anxiety went down, and I've been feeling more accomplished. I thought that was a fluke - good to know I can weaponise this mechanism! 🎉

@chronischgeheilt Жыл бұрын

Just remember that the active Challenge can become a passive one If you Just do it "because it is gonna Help you feel better". That is what happened to me. Self Care became a passive Challenge. I now try to Put in Things that I randomly chose to do. Feels good and accomplishing.

@Nashleyism 4 ай бұрын

This so much! If I'm doing the active challenge because it's supposed to help me it's no longer active. It's something I should do to feel better, it's a demand, not a choice. For me everything can become a passive challenge that way, even fun and rest (it's good and healthy so I feel like I have to do that).

@Deadpool-pe5rw 10 ай бұрын

Yeah, I can relate, my mom yells at me most time to study, she does it even though I was already studying. When exams are over and if I get 49/50, she will be asking where did that one mark go and who is the first in class. It became worse in the time of covid always blaming I am wasting time with mobile even though I am studying. Now after graduation I am afraid to even attempt an interview because I am afraid of making mistakes. Thanks to this man now I at least knew what my problem is.

@NuGundam_ Жыл бұрын

My god this man just talks in a way that makes me feel seen. I'm so thankful for finding his channel. I've been able to examine and identify so many things within myself since finding it.

@LorenzoCucurachi 4 ай бұрын

Sounds like me procrastinating to do important things by doing everything else like having my room clean and organised, washing clothes, cleaning and so on. At the end of that I feel better but I still feel that I need to do the important thing, which eventually I do.

@MrFeli100 4 ай бұрын

I always had a problem cleaning my apartment, but recently my girlfriend broke up with me and in the process I am trying to quit my year long weed addiction. Cleaning, vacuuming and washing the dishes helped me tremendously. Also having fitness goals have me a purpose in a time of real identity crisis

@user-pv1se9xg5q Жыл бұрын

As a stay at home mom, I can really relate. I have been feeling overwhelmed with the responsibilities and tasks as a mom. And instead of doing zero active tasks, which made me feel worse, I started doing stuff outside of the home, like sports and hobbies and it made my inactive tasks feel much much less overwhelming. Good stuff dr. Thankyou for this!

@amyramirez3998 Жыл бұрын

I was wondering how to apply this as a new SAHM and FTM. The thankless tasks seem infinite. We’ve just moved and are getting over a stomach virus, so the amount of cleaning and organizing that needs done is notably more than normal. Anywho, thanks for your comment, it’s given me some ideas!

@abbierose2278 Жыл бұрын

Thanks for sharing! I've always been a little nervous about becoming a mom someday for those reasons, but knowing that you really can maintain enough control to not constantly be overwhelmed is really encouraging.

@scaramoucheysimp 7 ай бұрын

just to validate you apparently, the salary a stay at home mom would make taking into account all the labor, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, would be about $150,000. i read this several years ago, so it's probably more now. never compare your 24/7 hour labor to another's 8/5 labor, with lots of rest and time to disengage in between, not to mention the lack of responsibility for an entire life, that you do not have. it's sad and if only domestic labor were valued more by society. seems they think women just sort of sit around at home all day.

@williamlord8064 Жыл бұрын

This is exactly the problem I dealt with when I was in college, and exactly the thing that finally helped me start tackling that depression. I felt very overwhelmed because it was too much work and I didn't want to do any of it. My initial reaction was to cut out things that I wanted to do because I felt like I had to address these exams and assignments first. The problem was that I could spend all day every day working on school, and often did, which really broke me after doing it for so long. I finally realized that the only way I could take control of my life back was to set aside a time that I would not let school touch, so that I could start FEELING like I had agency in my own life. The trick is that when you feel like you don't have control, you basically have to prove to yourself "I AM in control of my life, not XYZ. Look I'm doing what I want to do DESPITE the fact that I feel huge pressured to do otherwise. This external force doesn't get to dictate how I live my life." It's absolutely about the feeling of agency.

@jamlaw 9 ай бұрын

Wow that's a cool way to put it. I think that "talking back to the overwhelm" idea is great.

@leonardo-wh9xx 7 ай бұрын

Your comment made me think what could be the consequences or implications of holding a strong belief in determinism, the philosophical view in which you don't have real agency or free will. Maybe its a bit unhealthy to hold that view in these respects, asides others.

@scaramoucheysimp 7 ай бұрын

i wish i could realize things like this. it never hit me. i have to be told every little thing about life and just suffer. i suffered my entire degree when i actually never had to. it was all so simple.

@mizelle4096 4 ай бұрын

1:48 is exactly why I’m feeling overwhelmed. Now that I have this perspective, I can pursue my challenges in a different mindset.

@vit.budina Жыл бұрын

This is literally the definition of why you hate doing the dishes once someone tells you to do them - it suddenly becomes a passive challenge instead of an active one.

@areallemone Жыл бұрын

The timing is always on point!! Thanks Dr. K and everyone who's on the HealthyGamerGG team!

@FrankConnollyProductions Жыл бұрын

You are literally changing my mindset. I finally understand why i went through a huge depression spiral and was really stressed. Its not fixed, just a better understanding, which will lead to it getting better. Thank you so much!!!

@zajlord2930 Жыл бұрын

omg and here i am, cancelling all my active challenges to reduce my feeling of being overwhelmed... i mean, if i dont have enough time in the day then it kinda makes sense but otherwise i have been propably sabotaging myself

@aronhighgrove4100 4 ай бұрын

This is SO much more helpful and productive than the usual shaming / pushy advice that tells you to just do things. Explaining it this way is reducing pressure and makes it so much more effective. Thank you.

@bekkahboodles Жыл бұрын

Even though the active challenges don't solve the passive challenges, they give us the confidence and control we need in order to face those passive challenges. Thanks for this enlightening video Dr. K :)

@pegwiles5527 Жыл бұрын

Unfortunately, I get as much, if not more feelings of being overwhelmed when they are active challenges. I chose them, but I inaccurately judged the pitfalls & sadness overcame me, hence the overwhelming feelings. You are so right, though ... Doing the dishes, straightening up the dressing area ... Those things get you on the right path.👍🏽

@damymetzke514 Жыл бұрын

I may be very wrong about this, because I'm just a stranger on the internet. But have you considered that maybe those challenges are not really active challenges? To give an example which is very common for me: I commonly start doing more and more the moment I feel any sort of progress. Which then overwhelms me. So maybe I have some growth in my social life, and I start building an entire task management strategy from scratch. In reality, I'm not choosing to do that, I'm being motivated by my fear which has been lingering for a while. The way I interpret it is, that if I take the challenge because of insecurity, it is actually a passive challenge. I'm not sure what solutions are typically appropriate, I know for me that the best thing is do things with no long term result. Because I'm insecure about the future, things like walking the dog and doing groceries help me focus much better.

@hereandnow3156 Жыл бұрын

For me, I've found that learning what challenges to pick has been just as much a part of the road to recovery as anything else. First I started out with grand stuff like "Oh lemme relearn the piano" and then I couldn't get myself to stick with it so I got depressed. But over time I lowered my expectations more and more and now I know that when I am having a down day the things I need to challenge myself to are the ones that will lay the foundation for bigger change. I may not be able to play the piano, but I can make myself breakfast, or I can brush my teeth twice in one day. And by setting my challenges to take care of my health or personal hygiene, that gives me a big boost in the following days to take on tasks that seem "bigger" in my mind. Everyone's different but maybe my experience will be helpful for someone(:

@reallyanotheruser7290 Жыл бұрын

@@damymetzke514 That makes so much sense, thanks for sharing your thoughts!

@pegwiles5527 Жыл бұрын

@@hereandnow3156 Thanks ... Good suggestions. You're a doll!

@dreaejrns6281 Жыл бұрын

I think this is a great and useful video. I wanted to add that a supposed active challenge can quickly turn into a passive challenge. Say you're trying to learn guitar, but every time you sit down, it triggers a bunch of self destructive things in you: "What if I'm not good enough?", "What if I'm not learning the technique the right way?", "aah I'm so bad at this I'll never be good at it". Suddenly you're dealing with a lot of passive challenges that your mind is throwing at you, and then you start to get overwhelmed again. So you have to pick an active challenge that isn't going to trigger a bunch of things in you!

@man1378 Жыл бұрын

For someone that has been on self-improvement path for a long time and has changed a lot but has been feeling awful and crippled for months, let me tell this: somehow this video was really great and actually helpful, I'm really thankful to you.

@bvdatech1 Жыл бұрын

💯

@ColossalKiwi Жыл бұрын

The imbalance of challenges is one of my favourite old VODs of yours. I'm realy glad you turned this into a standalone video.

@TheStarrySky-sb9df Жыл бұрын

Thank you Dr. K! I actually removed an active challenge for the sake of dealing with the passive challenges yesterday so your video really put my mindset back on track. Thank you!

@OptimizedGrowing Жыл бұрын

I found a lot of this out on my own with the active challenges helping me from not being overwhelmed by the passive ones. Only when I loaded myself with active challenges do I ever successfully find motivation. I’m glad you’re bringing more light onto the topic!

@zenninjalife 4 ай бұрын

This makes a ton of sense. My cat started chemo recently, I've had her for 8 years and I can't imagine losing her. Her symptoms cause me to do all day monitoring, complex medication combinations, and getting up at night every night. Ever since her health has started its downward spiral, I have become obsessed with cleaning, organizing and arranging everything I own. It's not a new hobby I have any time for - it was just doing something for me mentally to focus on this. I believe this is why.

@TheSelfCenter Жыл бұрын

Thanks for all you do for us, Dr. K! Your videos are wonderful and really palatable for most people. You have a lot of good things to say about mental health! ☀️☀️

@Vyloka 5 ай бұрын

To summarize abit: Victory is indeed an absolutely busted healer of the mind. Challenge yourself to achieve your OWN victories with rules set by you. Its like working out with small weights and going to bigger ones over time. Always be striving to improve or test your abilities so that you can be sure of yourself that any of lifes challanges are sure to be overcame in your perspective.

@CJ_536 Жыл бұрын

I totally needed to hear this today. It explains so much. My biggest passive problem is perimenopause emotions and surprisingly cleaning or organizing a sock drawer makes it so much easier for me to control my unruly emotions.

@tinytsun Жыл бұрын

Thanks so much for making this video, I've been feeling myself become increasingly more overwhelmed by the day and it feel like tv static; as if I want to explode. So many things on my mind while trying to remind myself which healthy tools to use that I've learned to stop feeling and thinking negatively and to calm and reassure me when I feel like crap. I've already got active challenges going on, and am making conscious efforts to challenge myself little by little to be a better version of myself for the future.

@second_second_ Жыл бұрын

Finally, this is the KEY to my problem in these past decades. Thank you Dr. K and Milanote. I think Milanote is the thing that I've always wanted. Love the catchphrase - "Get Organized, Stay Creative". It is the very thing that can help me (and many other people) to deal with overwhelmingness. Passive challenges can be organized, and being creative while organizing your milanote is the active challenge. Thank you.

@EloTheCurious Жыл бұрын

VERY in sync with where I’ve been the last two weeks. Thank you, Dr. K. I’ll go ahead and implement that so I stay in this paralysized state. 🖤☠️✨

@cward2367 Жыл бұрын

Oh my god, this problem has been haunting me for years and a 10 minute video has given me a solution! Thank you so much for creating this content for people to better understand how to improve their lives and mental health!!!

@cleverty Жыл бұрын

Omg, this came at such a perfect time. Thank you, our world is so overwhelming. Empathy and understanding is so beautifully relieving

@xTenshiAi Жыл бұрын

This is so useful. I've been feeling like this for a week now and have been neglecting my hobbies that I try to do at least a few times a week. Once I started doing my hobbies again I feel more calm and my mindset shifts. I feel like Im in control of my situation instead of feeling like things just happen to me.

@justinstruthers9676 Жыл бұрын

I was in such a good mental state last year and I lost it. This activation was what was doing it for me. Thank you so much for helping me pin point what the cause was and how I can get back!

@furubagasuki Жыл бұрын

I think the same concept of challenging ourselves gives us more control is the same reason why the Dark Souls series helped many gamers tackle depression. The game is challenging and you just throw yourself at it and try different strats and when you get past those challenges it makes you feel good, confident. It gives you an internal locus of control and reward.

@geeqstarseed3452 3 ай бұрын

Wow! What a great message! I am grateful for this!

@steVENOM Жыл бұрын

This makes SO much sense! It doesn't even remotely make logical sense but in reality it's the very thing that we need to understand most when we're overwhelmed

@r.downgrade5836 Жыл бұрын

I've always felt better when I've done little things like clean up around my apartment when I'm feeling down, but I've never said that out loud before. But it's just so intuitive, isn't it. Outweigh the bad with all the good you CAN do.

@mtwata Жыл бұрын

The topics are always so relevant. Maybe I should be worried about it 🤣

@nausheenkhanrisaldar4920 4 ай бұрын

This is sound advice. I’ve been doing this unconsciously, focusing more on active challenges than the passive ones and I can already see the positive impact it’s having on my life.

@devontebroncas4967 5 ай бұрын

this makes a lot of sense. i’ve been going to the gym and see it as almost as my therapist. serotonin and other hormonal benefits aside, i think it comes down to make me feel more in control, and thus, less overwhelmed.

@lianrivs8528 Жыл бұрын

Perfect timing when literally my finals are just by next week

@emkey666 Жыл бұрын

As someone who started learning japanese, korean, mandarin languages, solving rubiks cube under 1 min, memorizing 500 binary digits in 5 mins and doing 15 proper pullups just because they're difficult now makes perfect sense - my life is a disaster and i cant control shit, but hey at least it was difficult and now i've acquired set of the utterly useless skills. Playing frustratingly difficult games also makes perfect sense. Anybody else in the "why the f do i played these difficult games" club ? Self medicating in bizarre ways since childhood.

@DuiDrop Жыл бұрын

Dr. K, I've been going through the biggest Art Block of my life (and over eating problem) and you have no idea how many lightbulbs went on on my head when I listened to this! What I couldn't put in to words to tell my therapist is all here! it makes so much sense and I feel like I'll be able to move more towards the solution now! Thank you so much for covering so many topics here it helps beyond belief! Big fan from Istanbul! 💕

@user-hc5nh8kv7g 22 күн бұрын

This should be required viewing for all people at all ages

@rocky_rrz Жыл бұрын

I know comments like this get posted all the time but it is actually insane how timely some of these videos arrive in my notifications. This is the exact video I needed RIGHT NOW. Thank you to all of you at HGG for doing what you do.

@dansonnguyen7663 Жыл бұрын

Wait I’ve done this by accident for most of my life. I’ve picked up so many extra nonsense but achievable challenges to make myself feel better when life got really tough. Cool to know there’s some validity and justification behind it.

@ClickyCrisp Жыл бұрын

Thanks Dr K! This explains a lot and why I find learning new things about the world or history or language, seemingly randomly, have really gave me peace of mind over the years, also it doesn't hurt to learn new things!

@jwmmitch Жыл бұрын

DUDE! I've heard "just focus on what you CAN control" which seemed like a feel-good thing that doesn't really work. But wording it the way you did in this video makes SO MUCH SENSE! Thank you!

@XxKINGatLIFExX Жыл бұрын

Simply finishing off your shower with 30 seconds of cold is a great active challenge. IN fact Wim Hof figured out that if you voluntarily confront the cold then it ceases to have any control over you. This is where he figured out so many incredible things like being able to influence the autonomic nervous system through voluntary and active breathing. It is all there!

@JakeIsLearning Жыл бұрын

It's all where? What lol

@XxKINGatLIFExX Жыл бұрын

@@JakeIsLearning everything you need to fix yourself, is already within you my friend. You don't necessarily need to go straight to medication, you don't necessarily need to go straight to doctors, you need the breath and the cold.

@JakeIsLearning Жыл бұрын

@@XxKINGatLIFExX Oh, gotcha. That is true, depends on the situation though; always good to have both if possible. ^^

@goober589 Жыл бұрын

Lol just this week I decided fuck it if the instant I get home from work my parents just gotta yell at the dog or do some bullshit to remind me how much I hate living here then I’m just gonna go full overtime at work. There’s a couple people who set my brain on fire there too but at least I’m actually saving up to move out for the first time in my life

@user-rx7pd1xv4k Жыл бұрын

I'm not a regular watcher of your videos, but some of them are absolute bangers. This video really got me. I watched it last night, and so much resonated with me. I regularly feel overwhelmed, to the point where I almost quit my job, and I avoid picking up responsibilities and making commitments because I am terrified that I cannot keep them. I've been making an effort to avoid tough things less since April, and it's been really transformative. Definitely going through kind of an existential change, like the way that I've been thinking, and figuring out what's real, and how to overcome things that seem impossible. This video made so much click, when I think about factors in my life during periods when I've felt overwhelmed and periods where I have felt like I could handle it. I also struggled with an eating disorder for 5 years (recovered since 2017), so that example made perfect sense to me. Thank you so much for putting this video out, and really for all the videos you make. I think a lot of people can appreciate them, and at the very least they get our mind's thinking a little differently. I really appreciate this one man, thank you.

@kh89182 Ай бұрын

This is one of the most important videos I have ever watched. Thank you.

@milcky16 Жыл бұрын

Any ideas for activation challenges for someone who is sick and bed-ridden? I've been sick whole May, its so frustrating to have my routine(running, weightlifting) taken away.

@stonescorpio Жыл бұрын

How about dexterity challenges? Like that thing people do where they roll a coin across their knuckles, or flipping and catching a quarter over and over without dropping it. Those would be physical, like the things you miss doing, but they shouldn't take as much energy. Plus, they look really cool and you can look like an antihero from a noir flick.

@Cevalip Жыл бұрын

Crochet or knitting?😊

@KMarine117 Жыл бұрын

I've been following this channel for a while, and I love it. I work in Special Education and I like to use these videos as resources. I really liked the video on gender dysphoria and ASD. What I really appreciated about that video was I think you linked the research in the description, or you at least named the study. I really enjoy reading research, and I like being able to provide others the research I use when I'm asserting something. The research you mention in this video sounds really fascinating, is it possible to link the research in your video descriptions more, or at least give the title of the studies so I can look them up on my own?

@adrianvasquez4351 Жыл бұрын

THank you for this! My finals projects are all compounding right now and I really needed to figure out what to do about them.

@smug3636 Жыл бұрын

Wow. This is the second time I watch a Dr. K video that makes me feel like he is straight up talking about me and something that I went through. I went through EXACTLY this is my college years. I was unsure of my career choice, was lonely and losing touch with my friends. I felt overwhelmed by all that I had to do, so I gave up on the gym and other hobbies to focus on college. But in the end I just ended up browsing 9gag and playing videogames to avoid the real issue. Things only started to get better many years later, when I had a full time job and started to work on my other hobbies. I started taking piano classes and taking care of houseplants, and I felt a little more in control of my life. I feel that I am going back into that same direction now. So, thanks for the advice, Dr. K!

@dunar1005 Жыл бұрын

And thats why playing dark souls relives depression

@DihelsonMendonca Жыл бұрын

⚠️ This is absolutely true. When you are depressed, the best healing is doing something you "can't". That's why I love the phrase: "Do what you can't". ❤

@anikalee9012 3 ай бұрын

OMG thank you so much. My word is brighter. I understand myself more.

@jessicaverdugo2522 4 ай бұрын

Thank you for this. Not a gamer but following your posts is helping me cope with feeling burnt out, overwhelmed and unfulfilled. Getting better, though.

@chronischgeheilt Жыл бұрын

The "behavioral activation" Thing in Depression therapy has become a questionable concept to me. In my personal experience it lead into Burnout, self gaslighting and Feeling Let down by the medical field. When you are actively burnt Out from fighting against your mental health problems all the time, It's toxic in my eyes. (Btw I am Not hopeless at all, I actually have so many Things I would Love to do and have passion for, but I am just incredibly exhausted and overburdened and Desperate for practical Help but I still get Put into the Depression mold)

@elsh332 Жыл бұрын

This is cool!! I have naturally trained myself to do this over my lifetime all by myself. I have BPD, and life has always felt overwhelming and chaotic, and I've had many boughts of depression. So I've worked towards just taking on simple tasks that help me feel like I'm in control of my life more. It may not cognitively make sense to some people, but it makes perfect sense to me. Recently, I've been feeling overwhelmed and married they've of my life, who has untreated BPD. It has been very chaotic and has triggered a new round of depression and burnout for me. I'm trying to work out how to manage without turning to medication before I end up failing college. I came across this video and it is a great reminder. It also helped me remember that some of these out of control circumstances are actually part of what I CHOSE in the first place ❤ thanks Dr. K 😊 this really works.

@heidiewing6566 Жыл бұрын

This!! My son turned me onto your channel 2 weeks. This is what i needed to hear and I completely agree with@Thanks so much

@PrecisionBoxing 3 ай бұрын

I really like this!

@jessicar5549 Жыл бұрын

This is resonating with me so hard and this is exactly what I needed to hear this week… thank you so much Dr. K! 🙏

@franziohann2823 Жыл бұрын

Literally yesterday watched very similar old video of yours on the same topic. Glad this concept is still valid, very helpful!

@YorkshireTheatreNewsletter 4 ай бұрын

Thank you. Exactly what I needed to understand right now.

@mossybiscuit4226 5 ай бұрын

this actually makes a lot of sense, and i would have never thought about it this way had I not watched this. thank you

@natashaberta 4 ай бұрын

Just what I needed to hear today - thanks

@jaylanmyers2576 5 ай бұрын

Yet another wonderful video! Thank you so much for the information. You explain things so well

@RubyRozaye Жыл бұрын

Thanks, your uploads have been helping me tremendously daily.

@ok_listen Жыл бұрын

This changes EVERYTHING. My God, this has opened my eyes on so many levels i have to share this knowledge with literally everyone!! Im so hyped to put into practice these teachings, thank you so much!

@matte.73.77 9 ай бұрын

Thanks dude. You helped me make a breakthrough with all of your vids. Now I know what I am dealing with. 11 years of not understanding shit about myself and everything around. My emotions where neglected by others but most importantly me. And how would I have realized it if everyone was dragging me around "mans duty" and "things that must be done" just because they said so. I don't want to go back but I have motivation to methodically deal (resolve) with those issues, let go of them and move on. Still a long way and I am only at the beginning but I know everything. I need to start right now. Ups and downs, another problems will appear but I have that challenge that I have to beat. Yes it is too big but I can break it into parts and close them one by one so i don't overwhelm myself). End is so far but I can finally see it. I stand with the problem face to face. I don't hide. I got it in my sights. I wont let it go because it will strike back twice as hard. I felt that already but didn't know what it was exactly. I don't want to go back and I know it wont be easy. Thank you. You are a goat.

@heinzwoof7280 21 күн бұрын

This is so good. and on point. Seems like our "feeling" with have of ourselves is so important.

@raghavendrans5237 4 ай бұрын

The logic you explain is so timely for me in de-escalating and in strategizing to reduce the distractions that overwhelm me through intentional good choices such as physical exercises, playing with kids and tackling an overdue analysis to help provide data to an article. Many thanks Dr. This is truly empowering to gain sustainable control as we can't afford to visit a therapist Everytime we have an issue that overpowers and takes over the day after couple of productive days. This also helps to reinforce therapists advice and in helping to develop a routine with confidence and in sticking to routine.