Kid comes in thinking he's a sociopath, turns out he's a big gooey sweetheart.

”What is better, to be born good or to overcome your evil nature through great effort?” -Paarthurnax

It just goes to show how hard it is for someone to objectively "diagnose" themselves. He thinks he's a sociopath but everyone else sees how much he actually cares

name: confusing nickname: even more confusing

"You can just yawn, its okay." You just gotta love this guy in a world that constantly makes basic and normal bodily responses into a huge issue. The number of times someone held my yawning, tears or my nervous laughter against me...

that was just wholesome. he just needed someone to help him get a little into touch with his emotions and the moment it happend he found himself crying. it was just beautiful

Why is Dr. K on the right side >:(

Dr. K really gets people, I am blown away. That person totally realized he wasn't a bad person. Blessings

I know this is a 2y old vid and the comment will never be seen, but I actually matched 100% with this and his answers. Actually knowing the root and reasons for the way I think gives me a fighting chance for a change. The ending especially helped, I surprised my self when I cried, really didn't think it possible, so the ending took me for a wild ride of emotions, who knew calm breathing can do such a thing. I think I cried out last 20 years of suppressed shit. All in all I just wanted to say thank you

Wait why was this recommended to me? *Sweats nervously*

The thing Dr.K was saying about people low on empathy deserving more credit if they try to help others was interesting. I'd never thought about it like that - how empathy is a kind of wiring that the person who has it isn't really responsible for. Like they almost have this superpower to connect with and help others easily, whereas people who don't have it need to wrestle a bit more with the notion of helping someone. And if they *do* help, it's after having broken through some kind of mental wall - which isn't something *they're* responsible for having either. And morally speaking, maybe it gets muddied by the more philosophical view that any provision of help is ultimately selfish since it can feel pleasurable to help, but that aside it's an interesting thought.

The profoundness with which Dr. K can piece together different parts of the puzzle and produce a conclusion is so genius, I have so much respect for him and getting to see him do it in a long video like this is so overwhelmingly gratifying

A good Dr. K out of context clip: “Are you a chameleon?”

He's terribly brave to talk about this tbh. I respect that.

I was a very stoic child, there were years where I didnt even laugh. I didnt know it was a result of childhood trauma. Dont be diagnosing yourself as a sociopath because you cant show emotions well. Especially if you are still young/a teenager.

This really helped me. I hadn't realized that my lack of feeling was because I didn't learn it form my mom (single mom). I highly suspect she was BPD. When ever I would express a feeling she reacted by telling me I was either faking it or that her or my sister had it worse so I needed to basically shut up. So I hid my feelings for safety. And now I have a hard time understanding when I am feeling an emotion or if I should be feeling something. I have a great group of friends now and I finally reached out to them for an issue with my boyfriend where I had been missing some serious red flags. So I spilled the beans and told everything to 3 of my closest friends that I trust their opinion and would follow their advice if they gave it. And they all got angry on my behalf. I needed to hear that, because I didn't realize that anger was appropriate and that helped me end things and I'm glad I did because more information was revealed to me from other people in my ex's life and it scared me. I'm really happy I ended things before he moved closer to me. This just reminds me to do what I told myself to do in the future, be quicker to reach out to friends for their input because I have blind spots and they are watching my back.

12:17 - that yawn was definitely an empathy test

- : I play League of Legends. - : Definitely a sociopath 🤣😂

The new manbun look fits destiny really well honestly but I'm not sold on the acsent yet

I'm a Neuroscientist and have read some papers on BPD. It's anywhere from 30-50% genetic (based on twin studies) and the rest is environmental. For example, people with BPD and Psychopathy in particular are born with genetic mutations that control impulsivity that are more plastic than the general population, and the expression of those genes can be altered by parenting style at critical stages of development. So it's hereditary, but it can be modulated by environment. It's both nature and nurture. But since a lot of the issues around BPD are due to arrested emotional development (~18 mos. of age) due to insufficient mirroring when they were toddlers, it can be successfully treated with DBT therapy (yes I know that's redundant, I'm just trying to be clear for people who don't know what DBT is. It's therapy, not medication.) In general, this is one way that children raised in the same household can experience very different outcomes -- some have inherited it and others haven't. It's really fascinating.

less than 3 minutes in and already he doesn't sound like a sociopath at all. He seems to mimic/mirror others not necessarily out of manipulation, but a high level of empathy mixed with some social ineptitude.

12:28 hahaha Dr k please. That was the most fakest yawn. I was playing a game when listening to this and the I had to go back after hearing you apologise for being tired to see if you yawned. I'm on to you and your empathy tests you cheeky boy. edit- You even smirk to yourself after it god damnit aha. Then you get concerned that he's onto you, asking him why he's smiling. I love it.

Man, that hits hard at 49:40 Being the kid that has to comfort their parent, like all the time, that sucks man. And it's so hard to realize that something was wrong with your upbringing because your physical needs were taken care of. edit: corrected the timestamp

The way Dr.K guides the conversation and gives his guests space to open up is great! This gives room to get into some pretty deep topics. Dr.K is part of my inspiration to help gamers get more relaxed and peaceful while gaming.

This dude is a real champ. He’s dealt with a lot in his short years.

I'm diagnosed as a sociopath, this is the first person who accurately describes it and doesn't spread hate, well done!

I don't have BPD (I suspect my mother does, tho) but man, that one minute between 1:18:45 and 1:20:00, where he talked abt people growing up in abusive households and having the emotional volume up to max -- that's basically my upbringing summed up, holy f. Thank you it felt nice hearing it explained like that and realizing that what I do/how I react makes sense T.T (i am working on lowering that volume tho but man its hard)

Wow I resonated with this so much, especially the part about being who you need to be for your mom/loved ones instead of just being yourself.

This helped me understand myself so much better. Despite not being able to genuinely feel for others, I try to do what society considers good and kind in attempt to be a good person.

lol the yawn test at 12:30, smooth one doc :D

So I'm at 12,5 mins in, and Dr K yawns. It feels a bit unnatural to me. Is he trying to see whether the 'interviewee' will yawn as well? As a means of assessing his empathy, I mean.

The amount of ads on this video is turning me into the joker in real time.

I really relate to the emotional thing. For me my emotions can activate when I’m with someone but sometimes I just stay neutral, can’t force it.

We got baited

I am SO GLAD I found these videos. Doing this live is very brave. It's so informative and so absolutely incredible to witness.

sad that dr.k's videos are the only meaningful conversation i hear in my life

Those Discord notif sounds got me restless.

I really feel for this guy, his parents im sure try their best and he clearly loves them, even if he doesnt realise it. His sister is young and very troubled, but the repurcussions of emotional blackmail on him are having a very lasting affect

That was wonderful to witness. To see that relief wash over him was amazing. He's been brought up in such a challenging environment and had to deal with so much, poor kid. What a valuable service you did for him.

This was so touching to witness. Excellent session

OH MY GOSH! This is amazing. I feel like I just took a year-long psychology course. Wonderful! Thank you so much for this. And thank you to the chameleon for allowing you to share this. Incredibly inciteful. ❤❤❤

Like someone in another comment here, I had an ex who had BPD, and so did a really close friend, and ironically both of our exes made a really big deal out of claiming to be highly empathic - but looking back, it seems like it wasn't empathy (as in genuinely picking up on and feeling the emotions of another person) as it was projecting (feeling an emotion, themselves, and thinking it was coming from the other person, or thinking they're picking up on another person's emotions even if it was often an inaccurate interpretation) - I'm not sure if they had empathy but exaggerated the emotions of others by filtering through their own perspectives, or didn't have empathy, maybe some of both. Either way though it was a lot to deal with, getting wrapped up in their emotional interpretations and all the chaos. Like you had to disconnect from your emotions to not set them off, or hearing them call themselves empathic while completely misinterpreting your real emotions, until you don't even know what you're feeling, yourself - on top of the whole trying to help and not having any impact thing. It's tough. This guy was really brave for putting himself out there and being open about this, I relate to a lot of what he said and this video was really enlightening.

Really love watching this. I relate super hard. So grateful to have found this channel.

I really enjoyed this one, it was pretty wholesome.

This man is doing so much good. What an absolute legend.

This helped me so much, thank u

Thank you Dr k and crew you have really helped me, better understand myself and give me good building blocks to change my life.

i feel this guys frustration inside of how hes trying to explain this, this is how i feel its kinda like i have 2 sides which alternate. i can feel sensitive and feel emotions easily but then it can change at the click of the fingers. i can think of family and feel nothing. but if i did ever visit like at Christmas or whatever i mimic there emotions because i don't know how or what to feel if that makes sense

Sociopathy is also largely defined by compulsiveness, callousness, lack of guilt and remorse. But usually is accompanied by HIGH neuroticism, meaning frequently experiencing heightened states of anxiety, sadness, anger etc. In this case, we see an individual who claims to be reserved, and very "emotionally neutral", in other words, shallow affect (not feeling much emotions). This is more fitting to the description of psychopathy type 1, rather than sociopathy. Also being able to manipulate others is linked to psychopathy for this reason (their emotions don't stand in their way, so they remain cold and calculated about social interactions). Nonetheless, psychopathy is likewise not a disorder that automatically means you are a bad person prone to hurt people or commit crimes. There are many psychopathic people out there who never hurt anyone and never break the law, because they are intelligent and conscientious enough to realize that living morally is the better way to live. And in this video we have a beautiful rundown of how psychopathy can be treated (at least in cases that are not very severe).

Yo Dr. K we need more of this dawg you doing society a favor and it’s literally helping other ppl out

Thank you for the video! All of you friends are super awesome! Oh, moments with this video are so sad.

aoe healing the world

Man, watching Dr k interview other people feels like a therapy in itself.

This was really very cool. I must say once it got to the meditation part I had to turn the video off because it felt so private... Really cool stuff tho!

This was awesome! I hope that this helps him to love himself and learn to know himself.

I'm an only child and as a kid I never really recieved strong emotions from my fathers side. What I found out with this video is that my coping mechanism with this lack of strong emotions was, to be around my friends houses frequently. I think I was a huge emotional "chameleon " untill i got 16 . So this was all a pretty smart, and apparently unconscious , way my brain fixed this lack by learning from other households ! Maybe that's the downside from having parents who are really engaged in meditation and have less emotional peaks . I'm sure personality plays a big part in that aswell, but just an interesting thought I had. All fine tho, my parents did everything right they could have. :p Would love to speak to you about spiritual paths and how self-reflection is a double edged sword sometimes.

In this interview you can see the path Dr. Is going and the way he is asking the questions is amazing, from a 3rd person view

That was really great! I don't know why but I always can relate to some parts of the upbringing of all those interviews... Like I could understand in almost every interview what the person feels like because I felt the same thing in some way at some point of my life. But Dr. K also explained that once when he was telling what the point of this series is... But I never would have thought that I would get something out of this interview. So for me it is that I thought I didn't have emotions for a long time after my father died and I thought I was emotionless and had no empathy... But years later I understood that I was a child and just didn't develop that skill until my early adulthood. I learned to have empathy but always felt like it was kind of wrong for me to have to learn it and not be able to intrinsically feel it. So that was also with my father when he was really sad because he was terminally sick and cried a lot I didn't feel anything in those times and didn't know how to empathize with him and help him. So I tried to just be there for him even though there was a wall. Several years later I sometimes can't stop crying while I'm grieving the loss of him. I know it is not the same at all but something just felt familiar about him not thinking that he is a bad person and not being able to empathize with someone. Also I am sometimes manipulative and say stuff just so that I get on the good side of people.... But I don't take advantage of it I just don't know how to act with people sometimes so I just act in a certain kind of way if that makes sense. Also not having an identity for so long resonated with me. I didn't know who I was either for a long time because I so often acted the way my parents wanted me to be to feel loved so I pretended to like things like going to the opera or to the museum even though it was sooooooooo boring. So all in all sorry for that long post... Probably nobody (except for someone who procrastinates or can't sleep or whatever) will ever read this post but I think it helped me to write that down. :)

Thank you so much for this video. I understand myself better now!

Kinda interesting what it comes down to in the end for myself i got the trophys of ADHD and Asperger and since i know im pretty much addicted to stuff like that understanding "things" i guess. Keep the work up its really nice to see so many POV's and its helping most of the part for me at least to get an understanding of the inside from so many different people glad i found this channel tbh :D

I like the way that Dr. K explains the relationship between environmental & neurobiological factors in development (& I assume he’d describe the relationship between the physical brain/body & the mind similarly); these things cannot be understood in isolation from each other- they’re halves of a single whole & their development is a constant interplay back & forth with dynamic feedback loops & interactions. To get at it from a slightly different angle, as Alan Watts said, you cannot have an organism without an environment (even if the organism was in the vacuum of space, that’s an environment), because what actually exists is a field of “organism-environment-“ the same way that if you look at a painting, you couldn’t have the painting without having both the foreground & the background (it would be something different than what it really is). Environmental factors & initial genetic factors interact in a dialectical process of change to develop the person who you become, & who you become shapes what kinds of environmental factors you’ll tend to gravitate towards, which influence who you become, & so on. Assuming humans really have agency, our material conditions shape the physical electro-chemical signals that mediate our mental state, & then the decisions we make based on that mental state & those starting conditions affect how we behave with our bodies (what we say & do, externalizations of our thoughts), which in turn change our external environment, which changes the electro-chemical signals we get from our sense receptors, which change our thoughts, which change our behaviors, & the cycle repeats. Now we can armchair philosophize about whether agency is real or illusory, but as far as I’m concerned there is no way to prove or disprove that definitively, so what I go off (as a consequentialist) are the predictable results of behaving as though free will is/might be real or behaving as though you assume it isn’t. Obviously, even if free will exists, it is limited (I can’t change the past, couldn’t choose where I was born as far as I know, can’t be on the other side of the planet 1 minute from now, etc.), but I think it is far more productive to believe we have agency to change things, rather than assuming we are just automata completely at the mercy of conditions which we cannot even slightly effect, because (whether in politics or personal life) the assumption that human beings don’t have agency only leads to a kind of defeatism where people believe there’s no point in trying to improve things, as well as a belief that concepts of freedom or the distribution of power don’t matter because all freedom is an illusion (as if there’s no experienced difference in living in a free, classless democracy versus living in some kind of tyrannical class system with a dictatorial state & corporations dominating your life). I think that, whether free will is real or illusory is kind of irrelevant & highly academic when it comes to the practicality of the issue... The fact is, we experience ourselves as making choices that have predictable consequences in what happens around & within us. If I decide to go drive downtown right now, things will be different than if I drive to another state or stay at home. If I eat one food it will have different consequences than if I eat another, or if I don’t eat at all. This is the subjective reality of every person, so as far as our lived experiences on Earth, the de facto reality is that we should live as if it’s true, whether or not from some higher cosmic perspective we would see it to be an illusion- or, as I would prefer to think of it, a superficiality which is real on the surface, but illusory on a deeper level.

Do you enjoy dominating and controlling others? Do you strive to always have the upper hand? Do you manipulate others just for fun to see if you can? Do you like making people confused about what you want from them? Do you feel satisfaction when you make others cry? Do you feel the need to be the center of attention in group settings? Do you ignore other people's feelings in favor of pursuing your own goals? Do you treat people like tools to help you get what you want? Do you intentionally upset people and then go out of your way to make them feel better? Do you need to others to be dependent on you? Do you think the rules should not or do not apply to you? Do you break rules for fun because you can? Do you enjoy the challenge of not getting caught? Do you change who and how you are depending on who is around you? Have you been this way since you were a child? Do you enjoy bullying others? Do you commit crimes because you think you are entitled to? These are way better questions to ask yourself than "do I have enough empathy to yawn when I see someone else yawn?"

What a pure ending of a beautiful conversation. Thank you so much.

Thank you Dr. K. My life is similar to his, not exactly but the results are the same. This video helped me understand a lot.

Always love watching these till the end Despite all the joke “destiny” jokes this was really an amazing video and great interview Learning about his roots ahd undercovering the truth helped me learn a lot about myself FUCNKIN LOOOOVE THIS SHIT MANN

that meditation was everything, man

You just described my childhood and my mom! This was helpful!

Favorite video from you yet. Was very helpful for me

It's easy to call someone a sociopath, especially ourselves. The young man has guts to expose himself like this. I think we all should question ourselves like this. We may find we aren't as evil as we think, and it'll be easier to identify those that truly are the dark influences on our lives

12:29, damn, I thought Dr.K was bringing the 5Head move and yawning to see if Corgi would empathize with it and yawn too.

great interview, great guy, best of luck

❤❤❤❤❤ I needed this video . THANK YOU Dr. K

I can relate to his childhood. Neglectful and emotionally abusive. Parents divorced when I was eleven. If I didn't have a twin brother I imagine emotionally I would turned out like him. Man this one was a tough one for me.

get my man ice poseidon on here...don't think hes got problems like he used to but still an episode I hope to see some day

This is a good talk, and OH MY GOD I JUST SAW ALL THE MIDROLL ADS *prepares to hear the Facebook jingle 300 times*

I went through something similar in my life and have felt the same way as this kid. I had so many breakthroughs with this video. I really appreciate it. (Disclaimer this video is not medical advice =)

I think this is the doctor k video I relate to the most. It's interesting and it's giving me a lot to think about. Very appreciated as always

I also relate to feeling like a chameleon. I actually burned out when I lived with my now ex wife for a year because I had to constantly mask. I didn't want to hurt her or lose her, so I had to fake emotions and remind myself to pay attention to her even when I was bored and to sometimes put her needs above mine. I had to put so much effort and concentration into how I acted and be alert constantly, I could never just relax and be myself. I can't live like that, but I also know it's not ethical to pursue honeymoon phases and trauma bonding and then dropping people when I get bored. So I have just decided to distance myself from people and accept my vague feeling of unhappiness. My rehabilitation team is on my case about my lack of social life but without that dopamine high I get nothing from socializing, it's just a tedious chore.

Another nice video. Seeing a lot of recognizable things.

He started by saying he might be a sociopath, but as soon as he said "i feel sad when others are sad around me" i knew we had another Sky Williams case and having not watched the whole video yet, I am guessing that he is actually VERY empathetic but something taught him to not feel his own emotions probably from some kind of trauma

I like how he yawned in the beginning of explaining empathy to test his reaction

Considering he sounds like he existed in an emotional torture chamber w/ his sister and early environment, no wonder he'd shut his emotions off.

Damn good video. Loved every minute of it.

This is absolutely fascinating

Damn he’s so honest 😅 I wish more ppl were like that ( the interviewee)

I can relate a lot with him. I always had that feeling I was emotionally void but eventually I learned that I was safe guarding myself. Luckily I learned it's more beneficial to be vulnerable and I'm not weak enough to justify being so safe.

This video helped me immensely.

This video made me cry so much. Because I grew up with similar parents. And I realized things about myself.

1:28 That was absolutely beautiful. This guy is really sweet. I'm so fascinated by the complexity of brain development. I need to learn more !

I feel like this all the time. I've had moments where I've even been crying together with someone I care about who's going through something rough, but as soon as I enter a different room I just stop, let out a sigh, sometimes even smile and think to myself "can this be over soon, please?" and then I go back in again and almost go "back into character". Sometimes I scare myself a little with how easily I can just shrug things off, even if I should care about them, I just don't. I don't do it on purpose. It's almost like I can switch my emotions on or off whenever I feel like it. I also have an extremely hard time to form true, emotional bonds with other people. Most of the time I've made friends, it's been out of necessity to get something out of that person for my own personal gain.

wow this was awesome. At the beginning i had no idea how komplex this wonderful dude is.

Thanks dr K. I’ve always felt like a shitty person for not having high empathy

"The fake is of far greater value. In its deliberate attempt to be real, it's more real than the real thing." - Daishu Kaiki

Dr. K is so fucking good at verbalizing what he's trying to do in the conversation and his meta-analysis of how the convo is going

Great, now I've cried some for at least two Dr K talks. I guess I'll just cry a bit at all of them from now on.

This is so educational.

Did Dr. K just use the yawn trick to see if he would yawn back so he could draw a connection between yawn responding and empathy? Nice move dude. Nice.

This was so educational.

I revisit this video often because despite loving my family, they are imperfect. I am on the journey of self help and that includes bringing up those around me. I am empathetic to my family’s problems despite wanting to criticize and lash out at them. This often leaves me pretty drained holding in my true opinions for fear of furthering unnecessary explosive episodes. I ultimately have little room for any extra social interaction that isn’t included in my close circle

17:40 borderline is often from trauma in childhood. chances are that he also was traumatized in his childhood, just like his sister. He's just reacting to it differently. Also he does say he changes how he is a lot depending on who he is with, which is super borderline. Some people don't think about it but you can have comorbidity between these and you can be in control of yourself even if you have said things. edit 10 mins later: he seems to have empathy for his parents being stressed. Having a traumatic childhood can make you appear numb, so much so that you think you are sociopathic. But it's a response to trauma at childhood. That's how he found to cope and that's how he's got his shit together somewhat when his sister is a mess going through similar thing.