Thank you to everyone who watches this!! Thank you to the positive comments! I know apologies won't cure sexism, racism, transphobia or ageism. I know this. But I also know that apologies hurt our confidence. And if you only get ONE thing from this HIGH-energy talk (it's a lot of Maja coming at the screen!!) and that one thing is to start OWNING your space, or recognizing your value, or you start appreciating your accomplishments, then I have done my job. I am obsessed with getting people off the apology train.-- If the only thing you like from this video is how to switch out apologetic lingo for confidence-boosting lingo, then I have done my job! -- I am obsessed with learning and researching everything I can to get us out of COMFORT ZONES and reminding ourselves of our greatness. Say THANK-YOU to yourself more often. By the way, sequins is one way I wear my confidence!!

Maja kills it in this TEDx Talk - very proud husband

Nice next time when I'm late for work I'm gonna tell my boss 'thanks for waiting'

First of all, THANK YOU for wearing that suit!!!!!! It's beautiful.

I'm a serial apologiser with rather low self esteem and I'm fed up of hearing myself apologise!!!!!! Loved this, you're really engaging and fun to listen to, thank you!!!!

I was so fortunate to have had Maja as my Professor at McMaster last term. The confidence that she helped me find within myself has changed my life and career path for the better.

wow thanks for this lesson👏, i even got into the habit of apologising to people who wronged me, now i feel so powerful

Love this. I've worked in male dominated professions all my life. After one of my last projects I bluntly said to my male co-worker "I deserve a award for doing this" 2 weeks later I did get an award from my boss. In addition, I told a hiring manager that I was worth my weight in gold., I got the job.

This is so true... I didn't even realise I was apologising and I payed attention for one day and I say sorry for literally everything! Thank you, Maja!!

I love Maja's style and love what she said! She is demonstrating the confident way she promotes!

I am saving this and will share it to every woman I so admire that says ‘I’m sorry”! Ugh! I was doing the same thing! thank you!!! Thank you!

This woman almost made me cry. I love her strength.

This has made a profound impact on my life, both professionally and personally. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. 🥰

Congratulations Professor Maja, I have seen you speak at The Power Of the Purse, London, Oct 2018 and Sarnia. Because of your Keynote you inspired me to become Keynote Speaker. You are amazing and you ROCK!

Oh my life, I needed this, thanks Professor Maja. Wake up call to me and to no doubt, others.

Professor Maja always brings such tenacity in her energy and message for empowering women! Words can have a major influence on our emotional state, it can even affect our neurochemistry, which results in influencing how we behave, and altering our perceived reality. Since not everyone has access to a professional in order to dig deep to find the root cause for low self confidence, implementing positive words and eliminating the unnecessary (depending on the context) and debilitating use of saying “sorry”, can be an impactful way to boost your attitude and behaviour towards a more self confident person.

Phenomenal!!!! I will listen everyday early morning until I habitually change my sentence starters. Thank you for the wonderful Ted Talk. Mainly I felt I'm not the only one but I will work on this.

I stumbled across this video, and I am extremely thankful that I did. Everywhere I go I am apologizing before I even know what I am saying, and you're correct about what it does to your self-image. Luckily I have a boss who always reminds me of my worth, tells me that I know way more than I give myself credit for, and to own that - to walk with confidence. Until now, I was unsure pf how to just suddenly gain confidence, or how I even got this way. It felt like a plagued way of thinking and being, and that plague had seeped into my veins - like I would always be this way. It has been overwhelming and defeating. This talk hit home. Apologizing is something we can catch ourselves doing and transition to different terminology. I'm excited to try the wording you've encouraged using, and I'm excited to see how this affects my confidence. It's time to stop apologizing, transition the way I carry myself and how I speak to others, and to own my successes. Thank you thank you thank you!

This is so so excellent. I can't believe we've been conditioned to feel this way! I had no clue that, when I was telling my fans, "OH thanks for liking the video, it took me a year and i barely did this and i still have to learn this" etc etc, I was just apologizing without saying the word sorry. Jeez, there's a way to be humble without putting yourself down. I had always thought that was a bonding thing between feminine people, telling each other secrets via saying "Oh that old thing?" or making fun of ourselves. But honestly that was just invented in order to keep the hierarchy in place for masculine people. This speaker has the most enthusiastic tone ever and she is so fun to listen to!!!!!!!!!! LOVE HER! PS This reminds me of the great Barbie video where she rants about apologizing!

Thank you for raising awareness on this subject. Profuse apologizing is truly self deprecating. Your talk is so bang-on Maja!

Really great message!!!.To acknowledge one's achievements as well as showing gratitude isn't at all at the expense of being condescending towards others, it simply is recognizing your worth and living accordingly.

I can attest that saying sorry has completely disempowered me

Just finished the book Lean In. So many references I can see. Great context great confidence I think you are just shining like your dress. Best Pallav

I would like to thank myself for listening to this amazing video and the message woven in. Thanks for the entire (start to end) team.

Yay!!! Middle aged woman me has been trying to work on this exact issue. Most videos I’ve seen I have to listen to 15 minutes about the personal therapy the therapist went through before they get to the the point. Which just made me want to say “I’m sorry.” “I’m sorry your life was so hard.” “I’m sorry people made you feel so bad you needed therapy to be a therapist.” “I’m so sorry.” So… THANK YOU for getting right to it. You are spot on and your intelligence and wit is just right. I could binge watch for hours, in fact I might. (That wasn’t supposed to rhyme, sorry.)

I love this Ted talk. I love the speaker Maja! Her passion and the way she talks. The idea of stopping apologies and own your accomplishments absolutely change my perception of communication with others. Not to make everyone feel good (or maybe not) by discounting myself. I'm the number one person responsible for my success and I own my success. I'll spread the concept to the young in my family and share with my girl friends. Again, thank you for the insightful idea.

Love this. Thank you! I have always wanted to be "ladylike" and polite and only in recent years have started noticing the difference in emails at work between genders. I never apologize in my email anymore. If something warrants an apology. I'll do it in person or over the phone. I also stopped using exclamation Mark's and happy face emojis in work email. I noticed men just don't do it. For a while, it was difficult for me. I felt uncomfortable...like the tone of my emails was rude or curt. But eventually, I felt more confident. Really glad I found this video. Thank you.

I really love this! I'm watching it for the third time now, and I'm sending the link to it to every woman I speak to that apologizes habitually or if I feel they seem lacking confidence.

Amazing speech and amazing confidence! I'm currently in Toastmasters working on my speech delivery, and you are GOALS! From the shy girl who couldn't even utter a word in front of more than 2 people :) Also, thank you for bringing this topic to the forefront and delivering in such an engaging way! You are definitely going on my role model list :) Third, I put forth a request to Athabasca University to look into adding you to their team (wishful thinking). Finally, I LOVE the hair!!!

I love this video. As a leadership coach I share this often with female clients. Thank you for bringing this to our attention and doing it in such a succinct and humorous way. As a passionate ‘thrifter’ I’ve stopped saying where I buy my awesome outfits and how much they cost. Thank You!

Wow what a powerful message! I’d like to thank myself for researching, discovering, listening, comprehending and utilizing what I’ve learned! I will be putting “thank you” and other fillers acknowledging others versus making constant apologies! I’ve always claimed to be a “humble person” because that’s how I was taught growing up… now I must unlearn to learn healthy habits for myself… MEEEEE!!! ❤ 🎉 I truly appreciate this Ted Talk, thank you!

Wow, you're amazing! I love your speech. Many thanks for you're energy and this enchanting suit ♥ I counted how many apologies I did in the last three hours; more than 10; to the grocery girl, cashier, my husband, my mother, brother. Plus yes I'm always sorry for my own accomplishments I think being humble is an advantage for me. I believe it is time to stop doing this.

Great presentation! So very true! Will work on stop apologizing and saying thanks! Thank you! Joan

Thank you for a great talk!

yea....i lost my confidence for the first time in my life.....in front of my crush. coz i told him..."sorry, i love you"......🙁..now i feel pity of myself for saying sooorry....

Was searching for Over Thanking.

This is everything. Thank You!

Thank you professor . Really helped

What a powerful inspiration! Professor Maja has given us a new permission (i.e. IMPERATIVE) to get UNapologetic as leaders, as people who ask for and achieve what we want. Thank you for ushering us into in the new age of the empowered feminine! It's time.

This was painfully true

I thought it was just me doing that.

Brought to mind, is 'Thank You' submissive also, when you know outright you're darned worthy..

Thanks for bringing this mistake and correcting it through a marvelous session. I was doing these mistakes especially in case of apologizing too much at times :-). It will definitely boost my confidence in day to day communication and especially in office work when I am working from home during these lockdowns.

Thank you! But importantly also, id LOVE to know whos the designer of your fierce sequin blazer & pants you're wearing?

This was EVERYTHING!! Thank you!

Excellent talk! Thank you so much for opening our eyes! 😀

Wow, soooo true!

What a great speech! Such charismatic Professor Maja! Great topic. I'll apply the concepts, thanks for sharing!

I love this. Thank you! Though, I LOVE the fact that I do not buy new clothes and get most via swaps or thrifting. Finding something secondhand is a positive achievement, so I tell those things to brag. :)

VERY entertaining story teller!

Loved this!

Maja, THANKYOU for your presence and talk and making me see how amazing I am . I cried within two minutes of watching this as how true what you said how as women we often dismiss our accomplishments and minimize our experiences. You also made me laugh. So many lessons learnt. :-))

AMAZING SPEACH! Love her style and confidence!

Thank you Maja for pointing this out to us women

🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥 This has added such value to my self-authoring mindset.

THANKS FOR WAITING!

This is almost identical in subject to an article in Psychology Today from about seven years ago (was gender-neutral.) It was a good read.

Thank you. One of the best TEDx talks

i have to disagree with not apologizing when late. there are people who are always late and dont seem to respect other people's time.

Loved it!!!

I'm watching this as a result of trying to guide my girlfriend's 14 y/old daughter who literally can't speak a sentence without 3 apologies.. I've been trying to help her but she can't understand and I can't relate enough to make it understandable. She will say sorry 5 times in a 2 sentence text and then immediately send a follow up text that just says "sorry"

The mindfulness book "30 Days to Stop Apologizing" by Harper Daniels is helpful.

Beautiful tips

I often find myself apologizing to people for having had the chance to go to a private school, or giving extra explanations for wearing a nice outfit (Like "yeah, I bought it in the outlet"). Once a middle school teacher told us to never apologize for having the chance to study in a private school, or for being financially stable.

I have made sorry a part of my daily vocabulary.

Hvala Majo :)

I agree with many of Maja’s points, although the culture and vernacular of today will take some time to shift. I don’t agree that people should not be humble. Arrogance and haughtiness isn’t good for anyone and it can be diminishing. Being humble is awesome, and using power with grace is even more so. The commonly accepted definition of humbleness is defined in the MW dictionary.

I love it💐🙏🏻

Excellent!

Whoop there it is!

The more one adds excuses the more one convinces themselves their excuses are true! Just cut to the chase is what I say or "What's your point?"But she and I are redheads so we are bold women!

How about flipping the behaviour changes the opposite way, appreciate the empathy shown by someone that says Sorry. Start saying 'thank you for saying sorry'. The consideration for others discomfort and thank you for your sensitivity.

This is GREAT!!!!!

Hahah . I was just commenting that today with my friend that lm sick of that word "sorry " its been used for everything and very often and when its not needed.

I say thank you for your video after I thanking myself to watch this full video 😄😄

I was on a podcast where the two guy guy hosts were talking about imposter syndrome. They asked if I ever felt that. I said "Nope. Don't have that problem. I am confident in my abilities and experience." They were speechless! NOT SORRY.

I would also add that this problem happens to men as well, it happens to me.

Society also expect women to be "more sensitive" to their environment and easily labelled insensitive or arrogant for not fitting in to the template imposed by both men and women. Time to stop the double standard and support each other to change the template, to confidently present ourselves as equals.

Love it :) very funny!!

Yup, I am the ‘sorry’ girl 🤣 Ant it’s strange because I picked up this habit of apologising for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g (sorry for this overdramatised spelling 🤣) from women around me. I grew up in Poland where you would apologise if you were at fault or if you did something thst required an apology. But here in the UK, women constantly apologise for every breath they take, literally… I know another ‘sorry girl’ and I will share this with her!! She can say 5 sorry’s in one phone calling the customer who missed a payment and ignored our letter…!! Sorry for the length of this comment 🤣

Wait no one got up and left?

As a MALE I say sorry all the time, and get walked on daily. It’s a real problem I’ve been working on. We don’t need to make this a feminine thing.. Sorry ;)

I’m sorry I didn’t see this sooner 🤣🙏🙏🙏

An increasing amount of dudes are always apologizing too. I've stopped doing that a few years ago... As a male it really helps, lost confidence leads to dangerous depression.

Thanks, av been a victim!!! Now I know.

Every woman should listen to: I AM WOMAN a song for Emmy Meli

I have a beautiful girlfriend and a guy would compliment her. She would blow them off. I told her to just say thank you and continue her day! Not all men are hitting on you!

Im a man and I behave exactly how you described a woman. :|

'I'm sorry' is the most commonly used form of empathetic expression. It expresses courtesy and awareness of other's feelings and potential state. There is nothing antithetic about an expression of empathy/courtesy for others and a strong woman. On the contrary...I find approachable and empathic women some of the greatest leaders in the world...i.e. Madeleine Albright, Angela Merkel, Christine Lagarde, to name just a few...

Unfortunately, "sorry" meaning "I apologize," and "sorry" meaning "I regret that happened," sound like the same "sorry."

Oh honey, just TRY not apologizing. If all of these women got to the top of their fields, they are already doing what they needed to do, to be where they are. I do prefer the choices Professor Jovanovic suggests, though. I use a lot of them, especially "thank you." But nobody likes me.

Why not address why women apologize so much or say certain things? This is what the culture around them expect from them or else they are labeled with titles like “aggressive”, “bossy” or worse.

I am sorry but I disagree. ;P

I dont get it, we Canadians are very confident

The premice of this thing is "why are women apologizing all the time"... it could also have been "why are women the greatest drivers" or "why is Donald Trump the most important philosopher of our time"

"sexism, racism, transphobia"

Not fan of this message. Instead of trying to build up women to feel confident from the inside, she’s only telling them to stop apologizing. Which is like using masking tape to their problem so that way people don’t see them as insecure. If women are truly confident of themselves, they wouldn’t obsessed on how many times they say thank you or sorry. They’d just want to bring their point across (no matter if they use right words) and that’s it. Period. Her “solution” is to make yourself feel more important and to avoid being humble, but she doesn’t know that real humility comes from self- love.

Sorry but I found this very limiting and way over the top delivered in a hyped-up manner. Sorry has its place. For some people not just women it can become a habit. Lots of speakers use different ways of saying sorry at the beginning of their talk without even knowing it. Everybody has habits they aren’t aware of. It isn’t necessary to make a big deal out of it. The likely outcome of this talk is confusion for the listeners who become uncomfortable every time they say sorry even when it’s applicable. The statement “backed by research” doesn’t make something true. I know lots of men and women who say sorry when it probably isn’t necessary. My approach is to have a conversation rather than teach them someone else’s words. Over use of sorry is no different than the use of ums and ahs when speaking. The Cheeky Evaluator

Owning your space HAHA, what a void of a concept

She needs to apologize for that hair...