The power of the apology | Robert M. Gordon

The power of the apology | Robert M. Gordon | TEDxLehighRiver

Рет қаралды 122,990

9 жыл бұрын

This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. There are three parts of a meaningful, heartfelt apology--and most people don't get more than one right.
Psychologist
About TEDx, x = independently organized event In the spirit of ideas worth spreading, TEDx is a program of local, self-organized events that bring people together to share a TED-like experience. At a TEDx event, TEDTalks video and live speakers combine to spark deep discussion and connection in a small group. These local, self-organized events are branded TEDx, where x = independently organized TED event. The TED Conference provides general guidance for the TEDx program, but individual TEDx events are self-organized.* (*Subject to certain rules and regulations)

Пікірлер: 49

@ermiastaye8220 2 жыл бұрын

"Saying sorry doesn't always mean your addmiting your wrong, It just mean's you value your relationship more than being right."

@Thebluediamoundvision831 3 жыл бұрын

What I have learn from taking the lead to apologize is the fact it some how transfer all the guilt from you. Now whether or not the person will accept your apology is not your business so long you did apologize properly. There is no word above I am sorry that you can tell someone, some people see your apologies as weakness, but that is the bravest thing to do and makes you strong. Remember some people after apologizing to them, they still treat you with the same resentment prior to you apologizing. But at least your conscience will be clear and that you did apologize and they did not accept it.

@MasterTSayge 5 жыл бұрын

The best advice given to me is that if you and another person did wrong to each other and neither of you are too proud to apologize, the best thing to do is apologize 1st. If the other person didn't apologize for doing wrong to you even after you apologized 1st then that person is not the person you need to be hanging around with. Therefore, you need to keep your distance from that person and move on. Believe it or not, that person will come around and wonder why you avoid him or her and only then they'll apologize. Why I know this? Because I had even the most stubborn people come to me and apologized to me even years after the incident. Distance is a powerful weapon! Quote "A person apologizes because they value their relationship or friendship over their pride".

@anikasharma9380 3 жыл бұрын

This is exactly what I’d been searching for. I needed to apologize because #1 I know I the pain being mistreated and #2 the guilt of hurting someone I once loved have me a moral injury. They didn’t turn back around. Neither apologizing nor forgiving. But now I’m able to finally let them go.

@josephvongphakdy2877 2 жыл бұрын

Thank you

@neeksxla 5 жыл бұрын

This is so essential to bridging & strengthening human relationships and bonds. Thank you for this.

@darynadixon8759 2 жыл бұрын

I have definitely taken the lead to apologize. In life, we make decisions that we can't take back. But giving sincere apologies right after the fact and reflecting on your actions allow the person who made the mistake to see the other person's viewing. Allows for better understanding and for making informed decisions that consider everyone's feelings. Even if the other person never forgives you. Just know that you have personally made strides to make better decisions that consider everyone's feelings. 💙❤💚💜💎🥰✝

@puluqemil 6 жыл бұрын

i will say sorry to her , before it's too late

@Drsalt-zb8oy 6 жыл бұрын

Emil Huang Good move hope it went well.

@andrei3586 5 жыл бұрын

She killed him

@reshad.h 5 жыл бұрын

I hope she have forgiven you. I know what happens if you're late. 😢

@pattiellis1395 5 жыл бұрын

This is amazing information everyone can apply. Application is the word.

@jayg3189 2 жыл бұрын

I needed to hear this. It takes ALOT of heart to be truly sorry and to acknowledge what you are truly sorry for.

@steve_Ngro_Blck 8 жыл бұрын

I 'm sure that forgiveness and meditation works to be happy.

@joyceasugs7859 5 жыл бұрын

😊 thank you...you give me confident 😊 to say sorry

@acrossthegreatdivide6726 2 ай бұрын

Fantastic!!! Thank you!

@joyceasugs7859 5 жыл бұрын

I dont know why but i cant stop crying while i was watching this😟

@iSuckAtGamesGG 5 жыл бұрын

Sorry

@marilynl2545 5 жыл бұрын

I'm sorry for your pain...most humans can really leave a hurtful trail I'm so sorry sending you much peace

@thewalkingbread706 4 жыл бұрын

I had recently apologized to someone after a hate comment I had also made, and I STILL got hate for it

@reshad.h 5 жыл бұрын

Thank you for empowering me and giving me the courage to apologise to her.

@marcusappelberg369 3 жыл бұрын

How did it go?

@damonwayne7760 3 жыл бұрын

I don't know if my bestie will ever forgive me for what I did, but I'll never stop apologizing

@kieranhimself3655 4 жыл бұрын

I never except an apology from my partner. 10 years later still have not had one

@user-xe1lx1pg9q 4 жыл бұрын

It’s more about “Ideal apology components” or the method than its power or effectiveness.

@joseblancoize 4 жыл бұрын

You don't get a a thumbs down, but 1.5 of 100. Yes, a reason is that we watched this.

@petercolombo7809 5 жыл бұрын

this guy lives near me, ive been to the hosptial complex he works in. Crazy.

@sunset33533 3 жыл бұрын

The mindfulness book "30 Days to Stop Apologizing" by Harper Daniels is helpful.

@ChasingYonci 3 жыл бұрын

Thank you for this talk. Very helpful in my research.

@GoodJuice831 3 жыл бұрын

I needed this.

@raquelaquere742 9 жыл бұрын

I love it... BOB!!

@SHUBHAMGI 7 жыл бұрын

Raquel Landi

@doreenwatrous7850 4 жыл бұрын

This was great

@space.404 4 жыл бұрын

I haven't apologize to something I did in the past because I'm scared of how our relationship will continue, Can trust be repaired or once you break it you can't repair it? What made me do what I did? Is my problem ridiculous? It was two years ago... Do they even care? Should I explain it or am I justifying my actions? How do I write an apology letter?

@RamiroooFlores 4 жыл бұрын

[ S p a c e ] I’m sadly in the same place as you rn. I think we just gotta put aside our pride and own up to our actions first before it’s too late and we let this drag on any longer. I wish you the best and just expect the worst in any situation.

@marcusappelberg369 3 жыл бұрын

I just apologized properly to a best friend I hurt deeply 6 years ago. I apologized then as well, but I was so emotional then so it wasn't proper. I wanted to leave her alone, and I needed to get over all the emotions, but now, when I'm another person, I felt that I needed to do it. I even wrote in my apology that she doesn't need to answer. She read it 20 minutes later and that felt so good. Now she knows that I'm sorry and that I want the best for her. That is enough for me. It took me many years to get to this point, I needed to prove for myself that I'm a better person than I was, that I could forgive myself so that I didn't make my apology about me. So that it was a gift to her.

@maryjanebrant 4 жыл бұрын

Dr. Gordon, this is such a marvelous presentation and what a perfect moment to hear you during this COVID19 time. Your teaching is so clear and relatable. You bring us to the better angel of our nature and I thank you very much. Kindly, Mary Jane Hurley Brant

@keithdavidkeith 2 жыл бұрын

Excellent

@roseclimbpaintcont 5 ай бұрын

I apologized and it just made him hate me more. I blocked his email.

@toripurgers9769 4 жыл бұрын

4:22 since humans are flock animals this makes no sense.

@bprathe3205 2 жыл бұрын

Is there a difference in asking for forgiveness and saying I’m sorry? Is it the same?

@laurenbatson5918 Жыл бұрын

Definitely different. They are not the same.

@robertswint3831 4 жыл бұрын

this is about james Ralph was his nickname and Northham see he just went from red to blue...then Bobby or Robert Mueller went from blue to red Robert Redfield CDC

@erinmeggik391 6 ай бұрын

Narcissists will criticize this video😂

@lauraw.7008 Жыл бұрын

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! There - I've apologized THREE times! What else do you want from me???" (for drinking too much and not remembering how verbally cruel he had been).