How to seek forgiveness when relationships are on the line | Peder Tellefsdal | TEDxArendal

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TEDx Talks

TEDx Talks

Жыл бұрын

Have you ever thought about forgiveness as a gamechanger?
Peder Tellefsdal believes that what we do in small, we do in large.
We all want to be forgiven for our screw-ups. The problem is we’re taught how to forgive others, but not how to ask for it ourselves. Peder Tellefsdal learned this the hard way. For many years he lived a double life: respected political advisor by day, “Party Peder” by night. When his guilt and regret finally pulled him into a deep hole of despair, he embarked on a “forgiveness road trip” - to take responsibility for his actions, one small act at a time. We are what we do, not what we say. And in this talk, Peder shares the tools he discovered to truly own our screw-ups when relationships are on the line. Peder Tellefsdal believes that what we do in small, we do in large.
For 12 years he worked as a political advisor, shaping reforms and advising politicians on media and public debates. Today he’s a Senior Communications Advisor and partner at Innoventi. In both fields he discovered the power of trust - not just building it, but practicing it in the small, daily moments.
On the stage at TEDxArendal, Peder will explore another “small” practice: the power of asking for forgiveness. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

Пікірлер: 814
@theothersideofego
@theothersideofego Жыл бұрын
A wonderful talk, that highlights the greatest truth. I had a wonderful opportunity to discuss forgiveness with Peder, and I openly admit he has learned this powerful lesson far sooner in life than I did. Bravo my friend Bravo!
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! Made my day 😀
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
@Martelle Benck Thank you! I appreciate that. If the talk may provide any help, nothing makes me happier ❤
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
@@codyvelardo400 I agree. We should focus more on the building blocks of any deep, long-lasting relationship
@Benjamin-yh9mr
@Benjamin-yh9mr Жыл бұрын
Forgiveness is always the way, well that is what I think at least
@DrishtiRaval17
@DrishtiRaval17 Жыл бұрын
its comments like these that make me happy
@maddoxreynolds
@maddoxreynolds Жыл бұрын
The 'Party Peter' story was a real wake-up call for me, it made me think about how I act in my life.
@yaboimike940
@yaboimike940 Жыл бұрын
I was touched by the message of the importance of owning up to our actions and seeking forgiveness. His words will stay with me for a long time.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
@Jody Kupferer such a generous feedback! Thank you ❤
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
@Christos Amorim yes, that’s the key to truly asking for forgiveness. May be life-changing. And it is the opportunity we have to discover the most valuable gifts of all: Grace
@caroldendy851
@caroldendy851 Жыл бұрын
It was for me too!
@fionatruscott
@fionatruscott Жыл бұрын
Me too, loved that bit
@KozomoBlur
@KozomoBlur 8 ай бұрын
To me this talk isn't just about forgiveness, but about how powerful and transformative it is when you acknowledge your patterns of bad behavior, to yourself and those around you.
@Jane_epstein_author
@Jane_epstein_author Жыл бұрын
"Forgiveness doesn't change the past, but it does change the future." Such a powerful talk, honest and vulnerable, and wise. Words like "grace, authentic, all in." Peder, thank you.
@pederplaysguitar
@pederplaysguitar Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much for those kind words! ❤
@gilliandunn5087
@gilliandunn5087 Жыл бұрын
a beautiful quote
@pierrevilleneu
@pierrevilleneu 10 ай бұрын
What about those words?
@annemery885
@annemery885 10 ай бұрын
Yeah lol I'm curious to know what she means too @@pierrevilleneu
@coopertubner
@coopertubner 8 ай бұрын
@@pierrevilleneu 🤭
@gretaallison
@gretaallison 7 ай бұрын
The practice of forgiveness in small moments is a valuable lesson. It's these daily actions that shape our character and relationships.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal 5 ай бұрын
Word!!
@noaholiverauthentic
@noaholiverauthentic 7 ай бұрын
Peder's dad's response to his request for forgiveness is heartwarming. It shows the power of forgiveness in healing relationships and restoring trust
@stanhopeishere
@stanhopeishere 6 ай бұрын
Absolutely, my emotions definitely welled up at that point haha
@nickgravygraves
@nickgravygraves 6 ай бұрын
Such an amazing moment, even more so when you realize his father was waiting for that moment
@booba00garde91
@booba00garde91 6 ай бұрын
The idea that forgiveness changes the future, not the past, really resonates with me. It's a reminder that we have the power to shape our own destinies when it comes to those around us who we love.
@therealmariorossi
@therealmariorossi Жыл бұрын
I think the worst lie we can tell ourselves is that it's only the big moments that matter, that it's okay to do the wrong thing when it's just something small. But it all adds up, and essentially we're training ourselves to do the wrong thing with all those little moments.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
Totally! We should practice in small the actions we would like to characterize us when the heat is on. No one are masters of forgiveness by nature. It takes practice. And it is a gamechanger in relationships
@bazzadexter
@bazzadexter Жыл бұрын
Wow, yeah, I've never thought of it like that but that's a really good point. All of it matters.
@pierrevilleneu
@pierrevilleneu 10 ай бұрын
I agree. A very dangerous lie.
@b0i-oh-bOi
@b0i-oh-bOi Жыл бұрын
Asking to be forgiven by someone you've hurt or disappointed is crucial for a healthy relationship to continue but the essential ingredient is sincerity... Without that it's just words. And people can tell.
@chandrazu1085
@chandrazu1085 Жыл бұрын
sometimes even with that, it's just words. nobody is guaranteed to actually forgive you
@Buzzapper
@Buzzapper Жыл бұрын
Yes I have heard a lot of inauthentic sorry's
@annemery885
@annemery885 10 ай бұрын
That's a really good point. People can definitely tell and honestly if you don't mean it, or if you don't understand why you've hurt that person you just shouldn't even bother with an apology
@sepchaster
@sepchaster Жыл бұрын
You should always be willing to take responsibility for your mistakes, even when the relationship _isn't_ on the line. No one's perfect and if people want to drag out your suffering after you've sought to make amends then they aren't really the kind of people you want in your life anyway.
@tommyruk
@tommyruk Жыл бұрын
Sep, thats right on, captured my thoughts too!
@yuvallove
@yuvallove Жыл бұрын
If only more people would own what they say, the world would be a better place.
@dextersalinas
@dextersalinas Жыл бұрын
so well-said!
@brittaniecrum
@brittaniecrum Жыл бұрын
This talk is a reminder of the power each of us hold to make the world a better place.
@annemery885
@annemery885 10 ай бұрын
I don't know if it would be a better place but it would definitely be a more authentic place lol@@yuvallove
@CarissaTilson
@CarissaTilson Жыл бұрын
A friend of mine who works with a program in our country that helps men tackle their non-physical v!iolent outbursts and he always tells me "they think saying they're sorry solves everything when in reality, it can takes years of consistent work and proof of change of behaviour before they'll receive the support they crave from their loved ones" - which truly is so sad for both them and their loved ones and quite often results in regressing back to frustrated outbursts. Very good advice here Peder.
@juanlsalazar
@juanlsalazar Жыл бұрын
cool program!
@thisismindfulness
@thisismindfulness Жыл бұрын
sometimes family is created when we get comfort from others.
@emmastandish
@emmastandish Жыл бұрын
Ooooh I love the backdrop that's happening here!
@bjdogg
@bjdogg 6 ай бұрын
The way he talks about his dad is so beautiful. You can tell there's a lot of respect and admiration there.
@LifeLolling
@LifeLolling 6 ай бұрын
Yeah not exactly typical for people these days.
@konglum
@konglum 5 ай бұрын
@@LifeLolling I don't know if that's true. Most of the people I know respect their fathers, more so than their mothers anyway.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal 5 ай бұрын
We now have a closer relationship than ever before. All because of grace :)
@ThereAreBetterWays
@ThereAreBetterWays 5 ай бұрын
@@LifeLolling That's a really awful generalization
@ThereAreBetterWays
@ThereAreBetterWays 5 ай бұрын
@@konglum That's also a pretty awfuI thing to say
@stanhopeishere
@stanhopeishere 6 ай бұрын
I like the idea of going "all-in" on forgiveness. Better than doing it with something destructive.
@andrealfifi
@andrealfifi 6 ай бұрын
Granting forgiveness to someone who doesn't deserve it is a profound act of generosity.
@AngelightArc
@AngelightArc 5 ай бұрын
Yes, it's an act of Grace.
@rongigz
@rongigz 8 ай бұрын
The idea of practicing forgiveness, even for the small moments, is profound. It's a way to continually strengthen our capacity for good and build stronger relationships.
@CheakinaCopeland
@CheakinaCopeland 5 ай бұрын
Practicing morality involves actively engaging in acts of kindness, generosity, and compassion, fostering a sense of community and interconnectedness with others.
@SteevieMatthews
@SteevieMatthews 5 ай бұрын
It requires individuals to be respectful and considerate in their interactions with others, valuing their autonomy and treating them with dignity.
@RhaelynCharles
@RhaelynCharles 5 ай бұрын
Practicing morality involves being honest with oneself, acknowledging one's own flaws and shortcomings, and striving for self-improvement.
@KalaPope
@KalaPope 5 ай бұрын
It requires individuals to be aware of their own biases and prejudices, and to actively seek out diverse perspectives and experiences.
@DandriaPerkins
@DandriaPerkins 5 ай бұрын
It requires individuals to resist the temptation to engage in gossip, slander, or harmful speech, and instead promote understanding and constructive dialogue.
@juniorjacksonjr
@juniorjacksonjr 7 ай бұрын
It's really never too late to change and seek forgiveness. His story is a testament to the human capacity for growth and redemption.
@omkar2485
@omkar2485 Жыл бұрын
I think it's very easy for us to forget the part about having to practice at doing the right thing. Not because of our 'capacity for bad' but because sometimes thinking beyond ourselves can be a bit tricky, especially when we're out of practice.
@phillambrick
@phillambrick Жыл бұрын
Never be out of practice, just keep practicing
@brittaniecrum
@brittaniecrum Жыл бұрын
we cannot ever forget what we have the ability to make better.
@nickgravygraves
@nickgravygraves 6 ай бұрын
This is a good point, makes sense of why some people feel so awkward and uncomfortable about apologising.
@earlbannicek5766
@earlbannicek5766 Жыл бұрын
Yes absolutely and it's incredibly frustrating when people expect forgiveness without having ever taken responsibility for what they've done - or worse, making an excuses for their shhtty behaviour that you just can't argue with otherwise YOU come across as being unreasonable.
@emmastandish
@emmastandish Жыл бұрын
so true, agree 100%
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
Word!
@caroldendy851
@caroldendy851 Жыл бұрын
finally watched, thanks for the link..
@fionatruscott
@fionatruscott Жыл бұрын
forgive yourself first
@emmastandish
@emmastandish Жыл бұрын
@@fionatruscott great point
@anonisanonymous
@anonisanonymous 10 ай бұрын
It takes immense courage to face those we've hurt, take responsibility, and ask for forgiveness. It's a humbling journey that can lead to healing and growth.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal 10 ай бұрын
Totally, it’s transformational! Thanks for commenting
@annemery885
@annemery885 10 ай бұрын
Absolutely. Though I don't know how we've trained ourselves to hide from our mistakes and those we've hurt instead of just owning up to it
@rickygrays
@rickygrays 8 ай бұрын
I think Peder really nails it in terms of explaining the importance of consistency when practicing morality. Like he says it's not about the grand gestures but the daily choices we make, hence the saying "Character is what you do when no one is watching."
@ElisendaPliego
@ElisendaPliego 5 ай бұрын
The quote serves as a powerful reminder that true character is not defined by external appearances or the opinions of others, but by the choices we make when we think no one is watching.
@AlinaPalacio
@AlinaPalacio 5 ай бұрын
It implies that acts of kindness, honesty, and compassion performed when no one is watching are a testament to the depth of our character.
@AllegriaIadanza
@AllegriaIadanza 5 ай бұрын
The quote encourages individuals to strive for consistency between their public and private behavior, aligning their actions with their professed values.
@ZarinaGonzalez-mp1rh
@ZarinaGonzalez-mp1rh 5 ай бұрын
It suggests that the choices we make when no one is watching reflect our true nature and the depth of our commitment to ethical behavior.
@BrunaRocha-im7in
@BrunaRocha-im7in 5 ай бұрын
The quote reminds us that integrity and authenticity are fundamental components of character, as they are revealed in our private moments.
@xanderselester
@xanderselester 2 ай бұрын
There is something so relatable about this. In a world where we're responsible for our own happiness, it takes a lot of courage and resolve to self-correct such deep mistakes.
@chezravvy
@chezravvy Жыл бұрын
"Doing the right thing takes practice." THIS! I think we easily forgot that people who consistently do the right thing have WORKED FOR IT like a skill that gets honed.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
Totally! Unfortunately, this timeless wisdom is not too present in today’s mainstream culture
@iamlaylathomas
@iamlaylathomas Жыл бұрын
The stuff about his father at the end is so beautiful.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
Yeah, that was a game-changer. The two paintings are my most beloved personal belongings.
@lakylewashington
@lakylewashington Жыл бұрын
There's something so pure and beautiful about the way he talks about his relationship with his father.
@kashaiq
@kashaiq Жыл бұрын
It is really beautiful isn't it?
@ThePoetopia
@ThePoetopia 4 ай бұрын
It's fascinating how Peter highlights the loss of moral language. Reclaiming it is not just about words but about rediscovering the depth and nuance of our moral experiences.
@nancycejarimanifestingfrom
@nancycejarimanifestingfrom Жыл бұрын
I love it! We are so blind to only reward the big things but the small will leads us for greatness, do not believe what we see in social media about what greatness is, greatness is simple as asking for forgiveness ! Thank you for this!
@pederplaysguitar
@pederplaysguitar Жыл бұрын
Thank you! 🎉 So cool you liked it!
@julianfritzer
@julianfritzer 11 ай бұрын
Self-pity and blaming others won't lead to change. Taking responsibility for our actions is scary but necessary and actions always speak louder than words. It's not enough to talk about being better just as it's not enough to merely "say" sorry. We need to regularly practice gratitude for our loved ones and doing the right thing by them to show them that they matter and are appreciated.
@adammayhew
@adammayhew 11 ай бұрын
I don't think he is blaming others?
@emmashubert
@emmashubert 4 ай бұрын
The idea that taking responsibility is scary really resonates. It's a brave move to face our mistakes and work towards change because it forces us to grow as people.
@skyec8562
@skyec8562 3 ай бұрын
Absolutely but it does seem strange to be scared of taking that responsibility. It's far more likely we've made ourselves feel more terrible about it than the person we're admitting things to ever would
@moneymaker324
@moneymaker324 8 ай бұрын
Peder's story is a testament to the power of redemption and second chances. It's a reminder that no matter how lost we may feel, we can always find our way back.
@nickgravygraves
@nickgravygraves 6 ай бұрын
I get what you mean, when someone gives you a second chance it makes you so appreciative it's unlikely you'll ever take the relationship for granted again
@elainarogers
@elainarogers Жыл бұрын
Conversations, especially difficult ones with your boss, co-workers, spouse and family can be cathartic and benefit everyone.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
Yes, it’s hard. But, like you say, potentially cathartic. Most important stuff in life comes with a price
@TheCookieAngel
@TheCookieAngel 9 ай бұрын
Peder's story is proof positive that we can stop deluding ourselves, admit responsibility for past wrongs and seek forgiveness from those we've harmed.
@scottvboland
@scottvboland Жыл бұрын
Agree with you Peder. Taking responsibility for my actions and asking for forgiveness with sincerity is essential for me when I've screwed up.
@theothersideofego
@theothersideofego Жыл бұрын
agree with that Scott
@robertjoinersr
@robertjoinersr Жыл бұрын
A pure and simple message, thank you Peder.
@margotaylor-ritchie5937
@margotaylor-ritchie5937 Жыл бұрын
thanks for sending me this
@jeanetteward
@jeanetteward Жыл бұрын
thanks Robert, got the link
@scottzsanders
@scottzsanders 7 ай бұрын
I think staying humble and respectful in relationships is the key to understanding. Then if you do need forgiveness it's easy to grant.
@brianmillerspeaks
@brianmillerspeaks Жыл бұрын
A beautiful, moving tribute to the power of asking for forgiveness and how it bonds us together, especially when it counts.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
Thank you so much!
@miyahnna
@miyahnna Жыл бұрын
I saw your TEDx as well, very good.
@levshalazar
@levshalazar Жыл бұрын
So tough at the 6:07 mark going from wanting to share your life to wanting to hide it. Especially from a parent when so often all we want is their approval and pride.
@regina-reda
@regina-reda Жыл бұрын
that sounds like me.
@lucy-diamonds
@lucy-diamonds Жыл бұрын
Wow what a life you've led Peder! Thank you for sharing it with us and showing just how important all of this stuff is.
@caroldendy851
@caroldendy851 Жыл бұрын
well said
@bulldogggg
@bulldogggg Жыл бұрын
I always tell people that by being open and honest we are actually giving less fuel to those voices that tell us we are not good enough. Because if we are consistently aware of our shortcomings, they feel like less of a problem,
@sariyah7175
@sariyah7175 4 ай бұрын
Peder's openness about despising himself is so relatable. It takes courage to admit when we've hit rock bottom. I hope more people find inspiration in his journey to seek change.
@NoisyDusty
@NoisyDusty 3 ай бұрын
It does take courage but I think it gets easier to talk about in the past tense
@NoisyDusty
@NoisyDusty 3 ай бұрын
As in, once you've started to build yourself back up, it's easy to say hey that was my lowest point
@publictvfan9913
@publictvfan9913 Жыл бұрын
Can definitely relate to that "all-in" personality type he talks about having... it's hard not to fixate
@Stuckallthetime
@Stuckallthetime 5 ай бұрын
The idea of consistently training ourselves to do the right thing, even in small moments, is powerful.
@budwebb
@budwebb 4 ай бұрын
I can see how the end game is powerful but to be constantly looking for things you need to say sorry for sounds pretty tiring
@BrutalTechGiant
@BrutalTechGiant 4 ай бұрын
@@budwebb You don't need to be looking for things to say sorry for, just observe your own behavior and see where there's room to improve
@bettygould3679
@bettygould3679 9 ай бұрын
The importance of focusing less on what we say and more on what we do cannot be overstated. Taking action, practicing forgiveness, and using the 'language of morality' opens the door to profound human experiences and connections.
@superduperthedoug
@superduperthedoug Жыл бұрын
"we are what we do, not what we say." 💯💯💯💯💯
@alantcase
@alantcase Жыл бұрын
What he's talking about it so underrated, when you come to a loved one acknowledging something you've done wrong and give them the opportunity to address it together your relationship levels up so drastically.
@busterbeansishere
@busterbeansishere Жыл бұрын
It really is, more focus on forgiveness would solve a lot of issues.
@nickgravygraves
@nickgravygraves 6 ай бұрын
As someone with a very addictive personality, I find it difficult to _not_ go "all-in" on something, so this talk really, really resonates with me.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal 5 ай бұрын
Thank you! So glad to hear that :) Then there's two of us..
@saturnsrings3608
@saturnsrings3608 4 ай бұрын
Maybe you can go all-in on forgiveness? 🤣🤣
@berniesbiggestfan
@berniesbiggestfan 10 ай бұрын
Peder's journey is a testament to the power of personal growth and transformation. By acknowledging his mistakes, seeking forgiveness, and going all in, he was able to rebuild his life and nurture meaningful relationships.
@franhustard
@franhustard 9 ай бұрын
Mmmmmmmm yup that is one way to look at it
@guntherhofer
@guntherhofer Жыл бұрын
The need for a shared language of morality is crucial in our society. Without it, we struggle to express our inner struggles and seek understanding from others.
@kaymitchell4935
@kaymitchell4935 Жыл бұрын
it can be very scary to be vulnerable like this, but it's worthwhile
@keeserevin
@keeserevin Жыл бұрын
Peder's willingness to change and the way he just owned up to everyone in his life is a real inspiration.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
Thank you! My "forgiveness Roadtrip" is by far the most essential and valuable trip I've ever embarked on
@pierrevilleneu
@pierrevilleneu 10 ай бұрын
Yes but I think it's important to remember that he hit a rock bottom before that willingness happened
@jensjfriedemann
@jensjfriedemann Жыл бұрын
the idea of asking for forgiveness is still pretty scary for me, but this definitely helps me rethink how I should deal with my regrets.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
I’m glad to hear that! Asking for forgiveness is surely a way to strenghten our potential for good
@dante-cruz
@dante-cruz 3 ай бұрын
I love the emphasis on taking responsibility for change. It's not just about acknowledging mistakes but actively working towards becoming a better person. Maybe if we can learn to see it that way more people will take accountability in a positive way.
@claybornlarger6336
@claybornlarger6336 Жыл бұрын
"I'm sorry" can be the first step towards healing a relationship.💬
@chelseasavage5990
@chelseasavage5990 2 ай бұрын
His dad sounds like such a great role model. Offering jobs and opening their home to those in need is a testament to the impact we can have when we actively practice kindness and generosity.
@gog-gog
@gog-gog 8 ай бұрын
It's nice to hear a story about someone living that lifestyle and coming back from it.
@jessiesangster
@jessiesangster 7 ай бұрын
It's amazing to me how different people view things like this differently. Just ask. Put aside the ego. Value the relationship first.
@carlajaffe
@carlajaffe Жыл бұрын
Yes Peder YOU are responsible for your salvation and happiness. No one is going to knock on the door and hand it to you on a plate.
@TheRubenZepeda
@TheRubenZepeda 7 ай бұрын
His struggles and his journey to seek forgiveness is incredibly brave. It takes courage to confront our own shortcomings.
@glennhamilton3rd
@glennhamilton3rd 7 ай бұрын
Absolutely, you have to be brave enough to accept that it's time to hold yourself to a higher standard
@laurenstynes
@laurenstynes 7 ай бұрын
Yes, courage and a real desire to change
@sammyllee
@sammyllee Жыл бұрын
I can totally relate to him hiding his sugar fix from his wife, only to feel guilty and tell her any way. Honesty is ALWAYS the best policy.
@bigfatfather
@bigfatfather Жыл бұрын
Authentic communication and being completely transparent can really be a game changer in any dynamic, usually for the better.
@jordyndejong
@jordyndejong Жыл бұрын
it can be so difficult though! so much respect to people who dedicate themselves to that approach
@adam-cooper
@adam-cooper 3 ай бұрын
The way his dad went beyond belief and took real action is truly admirable. A great reminder that actions speak louder than words.
@Soul-Dragon-Master
@Soul-Dragon-Master 10 ай бұрын
The notion of "own your scrubs, ask for forgiveness, go all in" captures the essence of Peder's journey.
@annemery885
@annemery885 10 ай бұрын
Yeah it's a good synapsis
@skyec8562
@skyec8562 3 ай бұрын
The vulnerability in his admission of self-despise is so powerful and I admire him for it very much.
@LA-pj5so
@LA-pj5so 6 ай бұрын
The firefighter example was a really good one
@markheichorn
@markheichorn 9 ай бұрын
Peder's emphasis on reclaiming the language of morality resonates strongly. Words have power, and having a rich vocabulary to express our moral struggles allows for deeper introspection and more meaningful conversations. Let's explore ways to revive and reinvent this vital aspect of human communication.
@koalakamishere
@koalakamishere 3 ай бұрын
We all have the power to take responsibility for the lasting changes we want to make in our lives 💜
@asherPreynolds
@asherPreynolds 10 ай бұрын
The evolving language of morality doesn't necessarily indicate a decline in moral consciousness but rather an evolution in how we communicate our values. Language is a dynamic tool, and we have the power to shape and adapt it to express our moral convictions in meaningful ways.
@annemery885
@annemery885 10 ай бұрын
This, absolutely this. I don't think enough people understand that language is fluid, it changes and grows at the same pace that society does, and we've come a long way in a short time, it makes sense that our language does the same.
@therealjuanschmidt
@therealjuanschmidt 3 ай бұрын
This talk is a reminder that even in our darkest moments, there's a path towards self-discovery and redemption and there's something amazing about people who have hit rock bottom and then dragged themselves back out
@denisgongolev
@denisgongolev 9 ай бұрын
It's incredible how Peder recognized his all-in nature, both its positive and negative sides. It's a testament to his growth that he decided to channel that intensity towards developing his capacity for good.
@bettygould3679
@bettygould3679 9 ай бұрын
I love the idea of not just throwing out the problematic aspects of your personality and instead finding a way to turn them towards something more constructive
@The-Secret-Garden
@The-Secret-Garden 9 ай бұрын
@@bettygould3679 This is a really nice sentiment. I don't know how possible it is for everyone though... some aspects are more damaging than others.
@tobiaskulik
@tobiaskulik 8 ай бұрын
What strikes me is his unwavering commitment to change. It's not a sudden transformation but a consistent effort to reclaim his true self.
@glennhamilton3rd
@glennhamilton3rd 7 ай бұрын
Absolutely, small but constant steps to self-improvement.
@glennhamilton3rd
@glennhamilton3rd 7 ай бұрын
Seems a lot more manageable than trying to make one huge change
@joemurray1664
@joemurray1664 Жыл бұрын
seeking forgiveness is something that is hard to do for many people, and many would rather avoid it
@00Zeropie00
@00Zeropie00 Жыл бұрын
Opening up our homes and offering jobs to those in need, like the narrator's dad, exemplifies true compassion and doing the right thing. It's inspiring to hear such stories of selflessness.
@janetpannel
@janetpannel 11 ай бұрын
Inspiring yes but it also made me a little sad, I don't know that many people have the means to offer things like that to those in need anymore. Maybe where Peders from, I'm not sure.
@waltersiegismund
@waltersiegismund 10 ай бұрын
"Actions speak louder than words" is a powerful reminder from Peder. Merely talking about doing the right thing is not enough; we must practice it consistently. It's the small daily moments that shape our character and prepare us for the big moments.
@TheMassNova
@TheMassNova 4 ай бұрын
The call to reclaim the language of morality is crucial. Without it, our ability to communicate the impact of our inner struggles will never be accurate enough.
@skyec8562
@skyec8562 3 ай бұрын
I disagree. There are lots of words out there, doesn't have to have a biblical reference to have strong connotations
@BrutalTechGiant
@BrutalTechGiant 4 ай бұрын
Seems like the relationship he had with his Dad really made all the difference in terms of getting his life back on track. Makes me think of all the men out there who grew up without fathers and it's no wonder they get so wayward
@arnoldcintron1621
@arnoldcintron1621 7 ай бұрын
Grace is a beautiful thing. When someone forgives you even when you don't deserve it, it can change your future.
@glennhamilton3rd
@glennhamilton3rd 7 ай бұрын
I think it can even change how you feel about yourself.
@TheSoundOffNow
@TheSoundOffNow Жыл бұрын
Looking his boss in the eyes and admitting his misdemeanours took courage - well done to you, Peder. Your boss is clearly empathetic and values you.
@MochaPundit
@MochaPundit Жыл бұрын
Yeah absolutely, could have easily gone a different way
@sylviacrittendon
@sylviacrittendon 10 ай бұрын
Peder's mention of grace is profound. When someone grants forgiveness even when we don't deserve it, it's a beautiful and transformative experience. Let's remember the power of grace in our relationships and extend it to others when possible.
@franhustard
@franhustard 9 ай бұрын
Isn't that literally one of the definitions of grace? A gift given that isn't deserved?
@sylviacrittendon
@sylviacrittendon 9 ай бұрын
​@@franhustard I don't know if that's a definition of the word but to do so would be an act of grace, in my opinion, anyway.
@thrasherjoe
@thrasherjoe 8 ай бұрын
Peder is like living proof of how our actions speak louder than words. It's not enough to say we want to change; we have to practice it daily, just as he did.
@iamacatslave
@iamacatslave 9 ай бұрын
Peder's journey from 'Party Peder' to a more responsible and self-aware person is truly inspiring. It shows that change is possible for anyone, no matter how far they've strayed from their values.
@glennhamilton3rd
@glennhamilton3rd 7 ай бұрын
I really enjoyed hearing about his journey from 'Party Peder' to a more responsible and self-aware version of himself. It really speaks to the possibilities of change, no matter how far you've strayed from your values.
@arnoldcintron1621
@arnoldcintron1621 7 ай бұрын
That is a great way to think of it
@laurenstynes
@laurenstynes 7 ай бұрын
That is a really nice message to take away from it
@allwiseelvisisme
@allwiseelvisisme 3 ай бұрын
The story about his dad offering jobs and helping refugees is genuinely inspiring. It makes you reflect on the power of real, tangible actions in making a positive change in the world.
@sanderburton
@sanderburton Жыл бұрын
Man I have to be honest here, when he talks about how it's the small moments that matter just as much as the big ones I felt a bit confronted. That's definitely not how I've been living my life.
@PoetWithPace
@PoetWithPace Жыл бұрын
Great talk Peder. Thank you for sharing! I like the all in with chocolate. No guilt required.
@pedertellefsdal
@pedertellefsdal Жыл бұрын
Thank you! 😊
@TheRealLunaTech
@TheRealLunaTech 6 ай бұрын
Love is and always will be the answer, bless this man!!!!!
@konglum
@konglum 5 ай бұрын
No. Sorry. This is not the case.
@darkclouds3320
@darkclouds3320 11 ай бұрын
Forgiveness is a powerful act of grace. It may not always be deserved, but it has the potential to transform lives.
@edgartestrada
@edgartestrada 11 ай бұрын
This is a huge statement and I love that you've used some of that 'language of morality' Peder mentioned.
@iamtheyesmanallthetime
@iamtheyesmanallthetime Жыл бұрын
"forgiveness doesn't change the past, but it changes the future" Thanks Peder for that take home message.
@SmartThrill
@SmartThrill Жыл бұрын
yes an apology certainly goes a long way to help with the healing process
@asiscranda
@asiscranda Жыл бұрын
I love that quote. great stuff
@therealjordanisme
@therealjordanisme 5 ай бұрын
Taking responsibility is hard, but hey, so is life. This talk is just another reminder that we're all doomed to make the same mistakes over and over again.
@AngelightArc
@AngelightArc 5 ай бұрын
That is most certainly not what this talk reminded me of. Perhaps you stopped paying attention and started projecting instead?
@dpesca
@dpesca 7 ай бұрын
love when this talk comes up, I get something different from it every time I watch it
@waltbleyer8736
@waltbleyer8736 Жыл бұрын
You can forgive, but the main thing is to never forget, that is my moto
@robertjoinersr
@robertjoinersr Жыл бұрын
mine too.
@ThePackHunter
@ThePackHunter 10 ай бұрын
The story of Peder's final visit to his dad was truly heartwarming.
@amagodatfortnite
@amagodatfortnite 2 ай бұрын
I think this gives so many good examples and reasons for why we need to stay present and aware in our lives. It's so easy to slip down into a path that no longer serves who we want to be.
@IllustriousDoom
@IllustriousDoom 11 ай бұрын
Actions speak louder than words. Merely talking about doing the right thing isn't enough; we must practice it consistently.
@janetpannel
@janetpannel 11 ай бұрын
An oldie but a goodie.
@edgartestrada
@edgartestrada 11 ай бұрын
@@janetpannel It's a saying that's lasted this long for a reason
@Charlize-Z
@Charlize-Z 9 ай бұрын
The importance of reclaiming the language of morality is highlighted here. Without the words to describe our inner struggles, it becomes difficult to understand ourselves and relate to others. Let's remember the power of articulating our feelings and experiences.
@gabehileski
@gabehileski 7 ай бұрын
self-awareness and taking responsibility for our actions, even when it's difficult, is a really hard but worth it experience.
@glennhamilton3rd
@glennhamilton3rd 7 ай бұрын
Definitely. Sometimes it can be hard to have enough awareness to see who we really are, and how it affects those around us.
@charlottewebbnotthebook
@charlottewebbnotthebook 8 ай бұрын
I appreciate Peder's message that forgiveness doesn't change the past but it does change the future. It's a beautiful reminder of the transformative power of forgiveness.
@ladyvalli1
@ladyvalli1 Жыл бұрын
Sometimes we have to hit that rock bottom in order to grow and realize just how beautiful our relationships and the ability to love and be loved truly is
@giovanni-is-here
@giovanni-is-here Жыл бұрын
sad but true. wish humans werent seemingly built to need these kinds of experiences to change
@ulisseditaque
@ulisseditaque Жыл бұрын
What a journey you've been on Peder, congratulations for embracing it to the extent that you're this comfortable sharing the shameful parts of it.
@chantalbrovic
@chantalbrovic Жыл бұрын
"We are not judged by our intentions, we are judged by our actions." This is so true Peder and we also have no control over how people choose to perceive our actions either.
@leotencall
@leotencall 10 ай бұрын
That's a really good point but also weird to think that people would ascribe negative intentions to our actions
@fionatruscott
@fionatruscott 9 ай бұрын
@@leotencall People do it all the time!
@mathewgee6259
@mathewgee6259 Жыл бұрын
I think an important part of this is to realize that the relationship is on the line in the first place. If you've carried yourself in a way where you don't recognize the need to apologize you're probably also unaware of how the other person is feeling in general - and that they might be at the end of their tether to you
@shayneb226
@shayneb226 Жыл бұрын
if it comes to something like that I think the best thing to do is part
@tuckerr2165
@tuckerr2165 Жыл бұрын
lately it has been a lot tougher to get into a normal relationship
@DrishtiRaval17
@DrishtiRaval17 Жыл бұрын
I think 90% of apologizing happes just because there is something to be lost
@yaboimike940
@yaboimike940 Жыл бұрын
We all need to work toward being better people, when you want someone's forgiveness,
@fortunaterbush8607
@fortunaterbush8607 Жыл бұрын
You’re the only true person I’ve found that I feel I can connect to.. I admire you so much! ❤
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