Thank you for talking about this! We lost our newborn at 3 days old in Nov 2021 and the nurses/doctors/ social workers who cared for my husband and I that day were absolutely incredible. They made us feel so safe and that our baby was so loved. My mom later told us that she knew the whole time that the coroner was getting antsy waiting for us to give her up, but I never knew because our team never said a word to my husband or I. They just let us hold her as long as we needed. My mom had just overheard the coroner talking to a doctor about it. Anyway, I love my box of keepsakes and it's such a comfort to have it in hard moments. They did provide some of her hair in cute little baggies in the box, but the other day I got out her blanket that she was wrapped in when she died and randomly found 4 of her little hairs on it. Even after all this time she showed me she'll always be with me. It was so comforting having something "new" from her. ❤ Noelle Joan-Marie 11/22/21 - 11/25/21 💕

I had a stillbirth in august due to my appendix rupturing at 22 weeks. I held my son for the two hours I was given because after I was transferred to icu.I also got a box and my baby’s foot prints. I still don’t have the strength to open the box and see my baby’s picture. 😢

Im only 14 but this is probobly my BIGGEST fear of becoming a mother 😞. I start sobbing so hard when I hear someone went through this.

I'm in nursing school and was taught Jean Wattsons theory of care. Our care is about the patient and not us, so being able to realize that and not put ourselves over what these individuals are going through makes a world of a difference.

A year ago today I found out I lost my baby at 16 weeks. The nurses, midwives, and doctors that cared for me while I was in labor, delivered my tiny boy, and spent time with him made a world of difference to me. I don't remember all of their names, but I remember how they made me feel throughout the ordeal. Thank you for what you do to help other mothers in this same horrible situation.

As the mother of two stillborn baby girls, I commend you on the strength you show for those mothers. Never stop, you seem like an outstanding nurse. And you’re absolutely correct, I remember everything about the nurses that cared for me and my daughters. I had some who seemed to distance themselves by simply doing their job and leaving the room. And I had one who sat with me and just let me cry to her for three hours while I held my baby girl…I’ll never forget how kind she was to me and my sweet angel. Delilah Jane born into Heaven at 37 weeks, June 5th, 2011 & Nova Maddyx born into Heaven at 24 weeks, February 6th, 2018…Mommy loves and misses y’all everyday 💜💜

I will never forget my nurse, Brandi, she was seriously the best. My son was born sleeping at 23 weeks and she supported me each and every way I needed to be supported. I will be forever grateful for her.

I really appreciate this video! I’m a nursing student and hopefully will be able to go into labor and delivery once I graduate! I always wonder how to deal with infant deaths, and so I’m so appreciative of you talking about this!

Eerie timing for this video to pop up in my notifications. I'm a new grad/L&D nurse. I've always known since I was little that this is what I wanted to do. Today was my first diagnosed fetal demise. It was sad, obviously. But, I was "fine"... until I got in my car. Then the tears came. I had to sit in my driveway for almost an hour before I could go inside to my 3 babies. I've heard the words that mama got told today. I know her pain. Your video made me feel better about not having been emotional before I left the unit. I was compartmentalizing... and wearing my nurse cap. 🩷

My daughter was born sleeping at 28 weeks 5 days in 1995. I don’t know HOW y’all do it. Thank you❤😢

Wow thank you for sharing this!!❤ When my sister lost her baby at 5.5 mos she had to deliver the baby and her nurse was soooooo rude and careless and treated her like garbage, and the nurse made this sad grieving moment turn into a angry and rushed. She had only gotten 2 hours to hold him before you keep pushing her to give the baby back so they can do testes.. it'd been 2 years almost and I must say that nurse ruined my sister. So thank you for not being like that xoxooxoxoxoxox

My son was stillborn at 40 weeks 13 years ago, and the nurses at our hospital were amazing! Can't thank them (and you) enough for the work you do every day!

My aunt worked as a nurse in elderly care for decades.. Obviously, they all end up dead at one point. She got sick over it (tourette's), as did her co workers. Please take care of yourself, too. And thank you for being there for us patients.🙏

I work at a hospital . I’ve seen mom and baby leave the earth together. I’ve had a patient that was in a DV situation and lost her baby because of it. 😢

I appreciate you discussing infant loss. ❤

I’m so grateful for nurses and doctors and people in healthcare in general it definitely take a certain type of person to be able to deal with the stress and horrible and sad situations that these healthcare professionals have to deal with they don’t just lose babys they can lose people if all ages infants to 99 years old and all’s deaths are tragic and sad and traumatizing i don’t know how professionals do it honeslty it’s almost like you have to find the medium you can’t be to sad because you don’t want the patient to feel like they have to take care of you but you can’t show no emotions because we’re all human I can’t imagine how difficult working inna hospital is the good is great but the bad is traumatic PLEASE IF YOU READ ANYTHING IN THIS PARAGRAPH READ THIS; I AM SO INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL FOR ANYONE WHO WORKS IN THE HOSPITAL THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR DESLING WITH THE SITUATIONS THAT MOST PEOPLE CANT YOU ARE ALL STRINGER THAN I COULD EVER IMAGINE AND ARE THE REASON SO MANY PEOPLE ARE ALIVE TODAY EVEN IF YOU HAD THE SMALLEST PART YOU DID SOMETHING TO SAVE SOMEONES LIFE WHICH NOT EVERYONE CAN SAY SO THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU

My first born child was a stillborn and I wish I had the box like this… but I wasn’t even given a chance to hold a baby…. And I regret not asking for it so much. It feels like I don’t have anything associated with my baby. And I miss her so much. Every day.

Thank you for posting this and creating awareness. That time spent in the hospital after a stillbirth stays with that mom for the rest of her life and the support you give to each and every single one means the world. I had the kindest nurse when it happened and I’m so grateful. It’s true this is heavy work as a healthcare professional and thank you for showing up for these grieving moms.

I saw a gravestone that had the dates that the baby was born 1 day and died the next. It was sad even though it was just a tombstone

Great to have a toolbox of coping skills for the nurses who do this extremely emotionally weighty job. You are really a great nurse. I wish all had your compassion/empathy mixed with heart and intellect. It takes a lot to pour this essential care into the bereft mothers. It’s so good that you spoke on how you debrief and refuel. I wonder what best refuels you after debriefing. What brings your spirits back to base level again?

You are such an amazing, inspirational nurse and person! It's great to see that kind and compassionate individuals still exist.💜

You are an amazing nurse!

If you don't mind my asking, what did your support system look like when you were in school? I assume you didn't have a spouse (don't know if you do now either), you didn't have any coworkers yet, you probably couldn't afford therapy, and your friends probably would've been worried for you or uncomfortable if you tried talking to them about these things. That's been my experience: I don't have a support system Luckily I haven't seen or done anything particularly disturbing but the day will come I'm sure

I had my own loss at 17w pregnant and this would be super triggering for me. I knew this line of nursing couldn’t be where I landed.

this must be so hard your so inspiring

if you had a podcast i would listen to it

Not to be morbid or grotesque…but I’m the type that needs to know ‘just in case’ I ever have to experience it. What did you mean by ‘rotting’? Like…I don’t even know how to Google that. Much love to anyone who has experienced this. Death is one of the hardest parts of living, I can’t even imagine it in this way…

My son passed away due to a heart condition when he was 24 days old. Our nursing staff was simply amazing. Everyone we came in contact with really was. The hospital had even checked in with us since, and the nurses sent us a card. I balled! They were so wonderful. I'll never have the words to thank them. Your work and your heart are appreciated!! ❤💙

Thank you. What the nurses did for me, everything you described, I am forever in awe of the nurses and staff that saved my life and so carefully took care of my stillborn son. Jeremy❤️12/28/00

My mom had a stillborn with het first pregnancy and she said the nurse held her all night while she cried. Seven years later my mom gave birth to my brother and while walking around in the hospital my mom saw that nurse. My mom said she didn‘t recognize her by her looks but by her angelic voice. She asked her if it was her amd she confirmed, and them the nurse insisted to be her nurse ahain this time. My mom says that even now 35 years later she always thinks of her and how she made her feel🩵

My cousin and her friend lost their babies on the same day at the same hospital. They now advocate for an organization that helps support women whose babies have died. They raised money to put those cooling beds in hospitals in the area. They also provide the memory boxes.

I've seen a video that the mother kept the baby for DAYSSSSSS and even took the fetus home. On ice. I was shocked!!!!!!

I wish I had a caring nurse. I was 24 weeks and knew something was wrong. I k ew I was having contractions, but wasn't sure. I'd been sick my entire pregnancy and been in the L&D floor 3 times.for IV hydration. This was a small town. The hospital didn't have any NICU capability. I went in panicked and they swore I wasn't in labor. In fact the nurse said, "You just have a bladder infection. You need to calm down..." Well it was more than that, but I was ignored. They discharged me water.broke in int he elevator on the way out. So, we went right back up and then all hell broke loose. They tried to call for lifeflight to take me to the major city nearby, ut they were told it was a nogo because they'd just left 20 minutes prior (empty) and couldn't be back for 2 hours. They got me back in the room and started all the things... and then they told me to relax while they called the doctor. Well, tlwhat they did was leave to attend to another birth, a perfectly average one and forgot about me. About 15 minutes in I yell for help and nobody came... and my husband delivered our little girl on her own. She was born alive.and we were screaming for help. Finally a nurse comes in and yells, "Oh $ht!" But then they hand her to me and said, "Sorry, she's not going to make it." That's it. About an hour later they moved us all the way down the hall to this closet of a room, far away from everyone. They handed us a bunch of paperwork for birth and death certificates, even though she was still alive at that point...barely. She was fine, I wasn't. They screwed everything up and we were treated like we weren't wanted there. They actually told us not to leave and if anyone came, not to discuss losing the baby on the floor. It was just... traumatic all around. Also, we had to call the mortuary... they wouldn't. And one of the nurses saod to us, "It's better this way because had she survived at she would have had major health issues and you'd be caring for her your entire lives." 🤬

HIIII! I love your vids❤😊

I never worked in L&D but have worked with families and people in their last moments and I think it’s probably true what you say about having a certain personality, but I think a lot of it is also training and experience. You don’t really want to go into this situation with no emotional connection at all or the patient will pick up on that and find you cold, so there could be a danger in being totally detached. In my experience, having come into work and spent the morning cleaning up a woman in order to prepare her for the mortuary, the way to get through it is basically to just keep on going task by task after taking that moment to just clean the person and give some dignity to the process. There’s something particularly heartbreaking about infant death, though, so maybe I wouldn’t handle it as well but I think it is essentially the same as the loss of any life is heartbreaking. I was a complete mess after my miscarriage but that’s because it was a personal loss and obviously we don’t respond to grief at work the same way we would to losing our own family members, but we all deal with our emotions in different ways. I wouldn’t say being extremely empathetic means you can’t be a nurse and deal with these situations professionally is basically my point. Just understand there will be emotional moments in any clinical career.

How many patients and delivers do you go throughout the day?

Thank you for this information. I find it very interesting. At what point do infants have to have autopsies? The hospital may not worry about that portion of the death, but in curious how the rule the cause of death for some infants.

Also 1st❤️😊

So I have a question, what do you mean by have the baby for hours. I’m a little confused I hope I’m not rude for asking 😅

How do you deal when you go home? Can you compartmentalize the experience to work or does it haunt you after work?

It's the saddest loss ever! Two in one bc for many no more are you a mother for first timers and the baby you wanted to be with is no longer there.