You can not respond wisely to Narcissists, because they won't hear you anyway. And even if they would listen to you, they would twist the narrative. Mission Impossible🙄

I love that psychologist are engaging the community in a free format. I know there is such a shortage of psychologist and I am so grateful they are taking the time to help those who can't get help any other way.

Maybe I can serve as a warning at this point: Have a plan A, B, C, & D with these toxic, controlling, punishing people. When you can get out, don't listen to anyone who tells you to stay. It will simply not get better. Thank you, Dr. Carter. 😥

This was the end of my relationship. We were engaged and there were signs of narcissism. I didn’t know what it was but knew something was wrong. Got educated with these videos and decided to push back. This is the result. Not introspection on their part to help heal the relationship they just doubled down. I called it quits. I’m lucky I got out early

Narcissists want to gain as much (material things) as possible with as little effort (or giving back) as possible, and still want the world to view them as victims.

Even narcissists who have accomplished very little in their lives think they know everything, and seem to believe they are smartest, and entitled to control others and govern their lives. They also seem to think people should thank them as they use and abuse those people. Very twisted logic.

Delusional and Embarrassed but won’t self reflect and attempt change so they take on the bully/victim role. Accountability seems too painful to them..

It took me 10 years after my mom passed away for me to realize she was a narcissistic human. I realized that of all the abuse I endured from multiple different sources through childhood hers was the most damaging abuse because it made me question myself and my own sanity.

Last thing I ever said to my now ex husband was "you're either unable to change or you just don't want to. Either way, you go do you. I'm going to go do me". This was after decades wasted hoping he'd finally get that we were a team, that I had the right to have my own thoughts & opinions. And that even if those thoughts differed from his, it wasn't a personal attack. It wasn't me "not having his back" as he used to proclaim. It's about perspective and what the other "partner" can bring to the table. He just could never quite grasp that concept.

Crisis reveals character. I refuse to have anything to do with people that are psychologically radioactive! Thank you dr Carter❤ God bless you❤

Yes! They do just the opposite of what it would take to receive what they need so desperately. It's irrational, and they will never understand that. When I began to understand what was going on with my narcissist, he immediately 'doubled down' on his passive aggressive stonewalling, gaslighting, victimhood, and martyrdom. At the time I couldn't believe how much worse it became since it was bad to begin with!

Thank you Dr C. I suddenly feel so sorry for these people. They'll never know love and what a rewarding, reciprocal relationship feels like. They'll never know altruism and commitment to family. They'll never know true friendship. And although everything they do comes as a price to those around them, they are paying the greatest price. Never knowing true love. They maintain a lie at a high cost.

I hope all of you have an enjoyable relaxing 4 day July 4th holiday weekend without a narcissist to ruin it !

One big mistake I’ve made at least is thinking that a narcissist will come to his senses after all the garbage they put into their attack.

Thank You Dr. Carter ❤ I went no contact 14 months ago with my toxic family. They are toxic through and through. They are status and power driven. They treated me like dirt. They are religious in front of others. But at home they constantly bicker and show anger. Condescending, judgemental, users, controlling, arrogant , & self righteous. Each of them sound the same. I couldn't stand being around them. They constantly tried to extinguish any good I saw in myself by their insults. Smug , pious people. Glad I am no contact. I wish I did it decades ago.

Sadly, these people are really stuck in life. They have trouble growing up and moving on to better things.

Thank you Dr. Carter. I laughed quite a bit, especially at that last one "Psychologically radioactive". Laughing helps when dealing with this absolutely insane, infuriating, dangerous lot.

Just when you though it was safe to come out they find a way to take things up a level! You accept people and all their imperfections then they find a way to heighten yours 😮

Desperation is a likely factor.

So true. A normal person, facing that balking moment you described, would take one of 2 methods to de-escalate and retreat: either "Is THAT how I came across? Oh, no, no, no, I didn't mean that AT ALL! I have the highest respect for your opinions, etc...." Or else, "I didn't realize you felt that way; I'm terribly sorry for hurting your feelings, I didn't know that this was a sensitive subject..." Even if it wasn't sincere, it would be a way of soothing the other person and allowing the relationship to rebuild. But a narcissist doubles down, as you say, and defiantly persists in the offensive behaviour. It proves that the other person was never a high priority; they were just a prop in the narcissist's drama.

When you stated the words “I am a force to be reckoned with” I laughed out loud. I’m sorry but that was just too funny. If they only knew how goofy they looked to the rest of us normal folks out here

Some narcissistic spouses will have no problem doubling down on their toxicity by using your kids to try to control you. Nothing is off-limits when they double down - not even their own children.

We on team healthy stubbornly double down on our healthiness.

There were red flags I ignored in the beginning of my ill fated "relationship". One was whenever my narc visited my house, he'd grab my remote and change the channel to some sporting event. I am not a sports fan, but would have to watch hour after hour of NASCAR, NFL, soccer, basketball, etc., all weekend. Clearly I was not setting boundaries, and really didn't know how to. I thought it was incredibly rude of him, and he acted as though it was his right. He never once asked what I liked to watch. These days I no longer watch TV, and I definitely need practice setting boundaries.

"Psychologically radioactive." That's a good one Dr. C!!

I went completely no contact with my elderly mother when I had reached my limit on the meanness, hate, anger, jealousy and competitiveness. And, she started to turn on my teenage children, gossiping, etc. Once I went no contact and she realized her supply and person to argue with you forever gone, she ramped up the hateful emails, name calling, and begin making false accusations against me. I had to let my employer know what was happening she became so irrational and unhinged. Once I set the final boundaries her anger knew no limit.

They must dislike being so dependent on narcissistic supply , especially now with a higher public awareness of the disorder.

“Psychologically radioactive”. So true!

Just when you think it can’t possibly get worse ….

"Double, double toil and trouble".

They especially love to try and beat down the ones in the family they haven't been able to beat down. That would be me. Storys upon stories. Still hurts. I was part of a bad movie. I just wanted it to be good. Fat chance. I have become stronger.

What is the difference between feeling entitled and feeling deserving? I don’t feel as though I’m entitled, but I do feel as though I deserve the same kindness and respect that I show others.

Back in 1988, I became friends with a guy who seemed very friendly, smart, outgoing, interesting, etc. We met from time to time to do some activities that friends normally do. Over time, some red flags began to appear. Among other things, he lost a good job. Things really turned bad for him when a situation arose that led to the death of someone. He wound up in court, and was found guilty of gross negligence leading to death. He always was in denial about the situation and did not have the courage to acknowledge his role in the tragic situation. His narcissism just grew exponentially until he had only one friend left... me. For about a decade, he would tell me that I was his only friend (whereas he had many friends before). Then he began crossing my boundaries with lies, insults, accusations, and extreme jealousy. About 14 months ago, he raged at me on the phone for 4 hours. I just remained calm throughout his temper tantrum. It’s like Dr. C witnessed this conversation, because this lesson/discussion accurately describes what happened in every detail. Anyway, that was the day he lost his only remaining friend... no contact. In the meantime, I have dozens of close and mentally healthy friends.

In my 63rd year my narcissist brother has shown his true colours. The horror of what he has done to the entire family is utter devastation. His treatment of our very elderly mother in her final years was unspeakably cruel. Now after her death he has switched it up a notch and has made executing her will a living nightmare. He is the quintessential malignant narcissist and god only knows how far he will go to retain what he sees as control of her estate. I had no idea what a narcissist even was before all this happened. The learning curve is the steepest I've ever climbed. I pray this misery will be over soon and I will be able to grieve for my poor mum as I should have been able to 2 years ago. Thank you Dr C for educating me and my family. You have been invaluable. 💖

Team Healthy to the narcissist (s): Wow! Where did YOU learn to think that way? Lol

"Psycholically radioactive;" Dr. C. So accurate yet hysterically funny. 😂 You never let us down! Thank you so much.

For as long as I've known my mother-in-law she behaved like everyone within the family owed her something including blind obedience. I've known her for over 37 years and she always acted entitled, but her entitlement grew stronger as she got older. She just passed away, age 98, and I still remember the day when she said, "I'm 90 years old and I can say whatever i want!!!" ...as if she'd reached some special pinnacle rite of passage and now she can speak her mind by hurling insults at others (not just me). And she'd say these things with a great big smile on her face and she'd laugh because she really *enjoyed* herself -- very creepy. I guess in her sick mind she had finally earned this right lol 🙃

As my daughter's wedding day draws ever closer, I am witness to the mounting anxiety/insecurity of her malignant narc father, whom I grey rocked 5 years ago. (This info was relayed to me, by my daughter after they lunched recently.) Along with the familiar lecturing/judgement he foists upon her~came an ample dose of Mom 'slamming.' Since I have gone 'no contact,' his insecurity is @ a fever pitch. He is worried that wedding guests will realize we don't speak and that is too much for his fragile ego to endure. So, he'd like me to pretend we have some kind of friendship even though I'm not that fine an actor...🙄Typical that he's making her day about him!! My plan is one of cordiality~a 'stay in your lane' mindset. I'll be utilizing the knowledge & common sense advice I've gathered as a member of TH to maneuver through & enjoy my daughter's day despite any rumblings/toxicity from the narcissist's peanut gallery. Ty, Doc! 💙

You are doing God’s work Dr. Carter. You have helped me understand at age 67 what is different about my Mom age 87. I knew she was different but didn’t know there was a name for it.

Every time my narcissist mother contacts me asking like all the problems have gone away. I just put her on blast for all the horrible things she has done. I am not going to let her off without having to face the truth.

It's mind-blowing how many narcissists walk the Earth. Either I attract them for some mysterious reason, or there are objectively many of them. What is it about the modern world that gives rise to so many of them?

This is a wonderful presentation. I love to see a transcript of this. Crisis does reveal character. Sooner or later a crisis will arise and the narcissist's true character reveals itself, especially with the vulnerable narcissist.

Empty and so good receptacle for demons.

I feel the smear campaign stage was the most hurtful. I cannot even respond to those family members in my own defense. Either they've believed her or chosen the path of least resistance. Still, it's hurtful to know someone's out there lying about me and I cannot set the record straight.

After years of constant stress, came the final straw. I said "We're done", shut the door and walked away from that close relative. I was convalescing after a heart operation. I needed imperatively to look after myself. That was it. End of. No way was I going to die to feed that glutton for attention. A few weeks later, her daughter-in-law asked what was needed to remedy the situation. "An apology might be a start." "Will you forgive her if she,apologises?" We'd been there before and I didn't hold much hope. I said so. The daughter-in-law's response left me speechless: "What's the point of an apology if you'll not forgive?" The apology did come and here's how it was worded: "I am so sorry you are not feeling well." Yes. Sure you do. It has been a very hard stance to take but my door has remained firmly shut. However, here was a hole I somehow ended at the bottom of, without gauging the full extent of its actal depth. Getting over the whole thing, while opening my eyes to the decades of abuse and facing the many consequences that come with, is one tough undertaking. I am free, sure, but then I am not. Not quite yet. Wiping the slate clean while turning your back and walking away from the devils you've known pretty much all your life, isn't as easy as it might sound. It feels a bit like walking a tight rope without a safety net... but was there ever a safety net?... No. With many heartfelt thanks from London (UK) for all the insight. J.

"Keep you in your place". Was told today that he was going to put me in my place. Ridiculous! I said would that be beneath, equal to or above you? He didn't answer and went away. The more I learn, the more I understand, but also the more I dislike and feel contempt for what he is. Working on learning how to establish my boundaries to reclaim me, and so I don't waste my time being angry about a person who won't stop. Also working on the plan to leave. That really is the only way to put a stop to it.

My narcissistic elderly mother insists on buying a lot of junk food for my kids to “help” us. I have asked her repeatedly to stop doing this as I prefer healthy food. I recently repeated the request, she got offended, and then doubled downed by buying even worse junk food.

This is exactly how narcissists trait people are. Smh sad

How bout they're just plain evil.

I made the mistake of challenging a narc’s toxicity and lies. Punishing is def the right word to explain her response. She’s trying it. But I’m having a lawyer look into everything… See if I have a case of harassment or slander.

Job 5:2 For wrath killeth the foolish man, and envy slayeth the silly one. Luke 12:5 But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him. It sounds like they downplay these things when they ought to repent and not downplay their sins considering how strong they can be especially to someone who becomes lost in them.

Nailed it once again Dr C. I laughed out loud when you said they are Psychologically Radioactive! So, very true. Thank you. 😊

Rather than empty, I think there is bottomless rage.

Wow. “Psychologically Radioactive.” Spot on. Love your videos so much. Thanks for sharing your heart, wealth of knowledge, and Gus!

It's really unsettling to learn this person (adult son 55years) holds not a kind word for his mum... In fact seems totally shocked destroyed and ashamed of me.... Be strong people.

"A narcissist has very poor self-reflection skills". So true Dr. C. They consider themselves the cream that rises to the top when they are actually the sediment that settles on the bottom.

Yea I tried making a boundary with my mother in law by asking her not to tell my sister about what’s going on in my life that if I want her to know I will tell her myself. Well that didn’t go over well my MIL got up shook her finger at me saying I was trying to fight with her and said no not with me sister and stormed off. We haven’t really spoken since. Still working on trying to set boundaries hasn’t been easy. Thank you for all these amazing resources it really helps so much!! ❤❤❤

this sums up my experience with them, I've actively told them what I want them not to do or can they stop talking about this or that, then instead of stopping they'll talk about it even more just to annoy me, I've asked them in a polite way and it doesn't get listened to, this is why my relationship with my brother has completely broken down and we no longer talk, he cannot and does not respect me, he knows this eats away at my confidence, if I tell him about something I am upset about he'll go onto tell me about how he's had something even worse or he's more depressed e.t.c, just zero empathy and never apologises for anything, often has a smirk on his face when doing it as well.

Narcissists are highly driven by an attitude of entitlement, because they have a sense of self-importance, which cries out loudly, "The world owes me!" As a result they are being superimposing and you have to do whatever they want. Over time you will balk, because you do not have the need doing their toxicity anymore. The result is that you will get punished. When Narcissists recognize, that you balk, they will double down their toxicity: 1. Stronger, irrational form of anger toward you 2. Blaming, holding onto grudges 3. Control + dominance increases 4. Invalidation + condescension 5. Accusation, shame + guilt induction 6. Playing the self-righteous card 7. Ongoing strong rationalizations Why do Narcissists behave this way? 》They can't come to terms with their inner confusion. 》They have very poor selfreflection skills. 》They are in a chronic compensation mode. 》They are empty from the inside. 》They are desperately needy. 》Your independence frightens them. 》They do not have or have only very low remorse or any form of healthy guilt. 》They once decided, "Power is the only way to go!" What do Narcissists think when you balk? 》"You have no right to differ from me!" 》"You are defective!" 》"I am the force and you will have to recognize me!" 》"You never were an insider in my life!" Conclusion: 》Narcissists live a life before an audience of one - themselves 》Narcissists are imprisoned by their own toxicity 》No need to match pitch with their anger 》Hold onto your own boundaries Dr Carter 👨‍🦳 and Gus 🐶, thank you for another lesson full of insight 🌞🌟🌝🌈

“Crisis reveals character”…so we turn ourselves inside out to avoid the next crisis. And it is exhausting!

Spot-on accuracy as always. I saw my ex change from a fun, kind, laid-back, charming partner to a rage-fueled, controlling, irrational monster. I naively thought this wasn't her, that there was something wrong that could be fixed, but when I gave her opportunity after opportunity to solve this and go back to where we were before, she threw it back in my face and doubled down on the toxicity. I came to realise this wasn't a temporary character shift, this was who she really was.

Thank you so much, Dr. C. Knowledge is our only weapon against this madness, and you continue to equip us to defend ourselves against these pathologically lying, cold-blooded abusers. 👨‍🚀👌

"I'm not going to expose myself to someone who's psychologically radioactive." Step back and let the burns heal and the shock subside. Rest and recover at a distance. "Know what you're dealing with and make adjustments accordingly."

So true. Best to immediately go gray rock and get out asap. These demons just get more vicious.

Thank you, you're so right about everything. Its so very true. I enjoy watching your videos. I got C-Ptsd from the abuse. I am 47 female who is the oldest out of five children my parents had. I always been the black sheep in my family. I went to Jesus cause of the abuse. Jesus is our hope. God is Love. I know my worth and values. My peace comes from God. God is great all the time. I got support from my friends from church. I been a Christian for over ten years. I walk away from Narcissists . I stay calm and quiet. Its not worth it to say anything to Narcissists since they dont get it at all. Both of my parents are Narcissists so is my grandmother. My brothers and sisters are Narcissists Enablers Narcissists are liars Narcissists always act like the victim Narcissists don't care about you at all Narcissists never loved us at all Narcissists are broken people Narcissists are insecure people Narcissists are pure evil souls from the Devil Narcissists are fake and phony people

On point. My father would always threaten me with nonsense, thinking I would care. You are so right with this.

I LIKE THE CONCEPT "LIKE A DOG GOING BACK TO EAT IT'S OWN VOMIT, NO DISRESPECT TO GUS." MY EX ATE HIS OWN VOMIT MANY TIMES BECAUSE HE WAS STUCK IN THE EMOTIONAL STATE OF A FIVE YEAR OLD AND THE MENTALITY OF A DOG, WHICH HE DESPISED AND CHILDREN BECAUSE THEY GOT IN HIS WAY OF SHARING HIS LIMELIGHT OF ATTENTION AND HIS WANTING WHAT HE WANTED. HENCE, THE ENDING OF TWO BABIES IN ME WHEN WE WERE MARRIED. HE WAS LOOKING AT A CALENDAR AND I ASKED WHAT HE WAS DOING. HE SAID LOOKING TO SEE WHEN HE COULD TAKE ME TO THE CLINIC THE EARLIEST. THIS IS WHAT I DIVORCED. A COLD CALCULATED VOMIT EATING THING.

Thank you, Dr. C for your videos! They are very helpful and validating. I appreciate you.

Thank you, Dr. C , for helping those of us who have been involved with narcissists to validated our own feelings. I have learned the meaning of boundaries from your videos and I am stronger at adhering to those boundaries. I no longer fell like a doormat.

thank jesus for you

He TRIED to double down on his pitiful toxicity, unfortunately for him ive bern learning about just that through Dr. C's videos for the past two years. I no longer take the bait or feel anything At all For him. Dignity, Respect and Peace. I have peace, now.

They might be sorry for what they did, but it only lasts until they can again avoid all responsibility and dismiss all considerations other than their own wants and needs. I can no longer entrust them with my wellbeing.

thank you for your free therapy on this topic. i love gus. you are doing amazing, important work. God bless you.

Thank you for taking the time to share your wisdom on this topic. I’m currently coming out of the fog of a toxic friendship with a narcissist. I already went through professional counseling on building boundaries, but these videos help give me something of a booster right before and after having to deal with this friend. We attend the same church, so I can’t exactly ghost her. But I’m learning to disengage and maintain healthy boundaries. Thanks again.

BOTH OF MY NPD SISTERS HAD ME FEELING LIKE I WAS THE WORST PERSON THAT EVER WALKED ON FACE OF EARTH, I NOW REALISE THEY MADE IT UP, THEY WERE THE MONSTERS NOT ME; I THOUGHT THE MALIGNANT ONE WAS GOING TO BASH ME UP ONE TIME, I WAS SHOCKED, I WAS LAUGHING, IT WAS SO FULL ON!

My dad basically summed up these characteristics. Either he was emotionally absent or would lose his temper like a bat out of Hell over reasons I considered unjustified. I never truly became financially independent and was once again living at home. It’s incredibly sad it took him passing away a few months ago at the age of 89 to finally be free of his toxicity. I am 54 and generally pretty emotionally sensitive, but I have yet to cry one single tear over his death.

Not only is this man amazing at his job but hes so funny at times as well. These videos have been a life saver for me. I now know that as a child i was right....i wasnt crazy. I could see the narcissists true self and so i had to be crushed. I dont blame her though now that i am healthy....i understand her and why she is the way she is and i understand myself and im so proud and happy for becoming the person i was always meant to be. I am no longer interested in the blame game as i am too busy working on myself and how i can be the best version of myself. ❤ X

Thank you for your content. I've been questioning if my son-in-law is narcissistic, or has narcissistic tendencies for a few years.. The doubling down info makes me think I was right in my assessment. He doesn't want his relationship with my daughter to work in any kind of healthy way.. they have kids and it's heartbreaking that this really cannot be repaired, because he likes it this way.

Thank you so much Dr. Les Carter! If it wasn't for your videos I think I'd be dead right now. Your videos have given me the knowledge I need to better navigate in this world, and though I'm still a faulty individual I finally have hope that I can have the confidence in the person that I want to be

They take a self destructive path and want you to go to that precipice with them.

Narcissists gets worse as their toxicity rise with age. I better end the relationships with them as soon as possible before becoming a narcissist yourself and get physically sick.

I’ve been in a 3 year relationship and I’m finally getting the courage to walk out I packed my bags and never looked back he thought he could control me because I lived with him he always made me feel incompetent and proceeded to verbally abuse me when he felt “disrespected” eventually it got worse and he justified his behaviour for getting physical it was my “fault” of course I’m trying to heal from this situation he has the audacity to say he should’ve cut ties with me ages ago! Their malicious ways hurt but my self worth is more important whoever is going through this I pray you get the love and support you need please do better they don’t change !

Very poor self reflection skills is definitely a Good number 1 on the list! Yes i always knew i was an outsider! Imprisoned by their own toxicity! That is sad!

We seem to live in a totally narcissistic society that has lost both its heart and soul. It seems to be no longer a question of who is a narcissist but more a question of who isn't.

I listened to this three times, it fits so very well with my 'big three' narcs. It's like you know them. I also appreciate your gender-neutral language, I can just focus on your points not translate so to speak. You, and your work, are real treasures. So glad to have found you, so happy to pass links along.

Perfect term :psychologically radioactive.

True. I do not want to expose myself to somebody who is radio-active. Thank you dr Carter. God bless you❤

Exactly where we are, with our narcissist. Toxicity is beginning, because we have removed ourselves, from being a target.

Wow, did this fit my daughter like a tailor made glove! Thanks Dr. C. ❤

Going NO contact has caused a vulcanoe of poison It's a family massacre when it's your son It's looking like he's going to TRY to destroy loving bonds with my grandchildren. Hopefully they are secure enough in my love to not be affected by being lied to... 🍀

Thank you very much doctor for doing this videos. You don't know how much you are helping.

You can tell by the way Gus acted with no reaction, he was thinking 'No offense taken' Haha Gus is too cool and an example to us all 😁💖

My father is like this, I have helped him beyond what anyone else would over the years and recently he lashed out for no reason accusing me of being "hateful" and hating the family. I was caught off guard. Then when I pointed out that if I was actually hateful then why would I even help him? He then responded saying I was throwing it in his face. REALITY is that is not throwing anything in his face, he accused me of not caring and I pointed out if it was true then why did I help him and listed the instances I could think of off the top of my head that I helped him. Then when that didn’t work he shifted to saying I hate people and I have a hateful heart. When I asked for an example of how I am hateful he responded "you just are" then I pointed out of that was the case why do I spend my time and energy doing things I enjoy and listed various things I do to help children and animals. His response was "that doesn’t mean shi t". This is same person who pulled out of a parking lot into traffic out of impatience, sideswiped a car that was carrying 2 children in the back, the woman and 1 child was airlifted and so was he after he. Later when I asked is that woman and kids ok, he responded "I don’t know, as long as they don’t try to sue me" then when I pressed him about it he became agitated. He even told me he was thinking about suing the woman claiming it was her fault (when clearly it wasn’t). I told him it was rotten to the core to even think of it. I even have a baby sibling who died shortly after being born (may their soul rest in peace) and he has never visited in decades, even though he was in the area many times and grave is several states away. I live further than he does (over 1200 miles away) and I took flight out there to put flowers and visit my sibling who I was too young to know, but still feel they are family in my heart, I even had the cracked and neglected headstone replaced. When I asked him when will he visit he said "my car isn’t good enough to make the trip" I offered to rent him a car, then his excuse was "I don’t have time" I asked when will he have time and he snapped back "Why do you care so much about me going, mind your own business". I am pretty much done talking or associating with him due to this and then likely he will use that as a way to say "see he abandoned his own family" without reflecting on why and realizing it was due to his selfish disgusting behavior. It’s like I can’t even believe that is my father, he represents everything I despise in a human like greed, selfishness and victimhood mentality. I have many friends and have never in my life seen or heard of parent who is this toxic. It’s actually depressing to think of really, especially around the holidays.

Truer words have never been spoken. Thank you, Dr. C.

Dr. C, I’m joking here, but it almost feels like you recorded this message directly for me because it is so accurate about these entitled, arrogant narcissists. I loved it when you posed the question about how they respond and the only way they do is by doubling down. There is no collaboration or concern after their over-the-top outbursts and rage over insignificant matters. I recently heard an interesting quote about those who condemn without investigation or consideration. Some people are so full of themselves, or have group think, and really condemn things without even investigating them. A wise person said “no contempt prior to investigation.“

Just remember to receive the shame when you've earned it. Don't avoid accountability by playing the victim and labeling your accuser a narcissist, if you've actually done wrong.

I recently was dealing with a narc client who started being really controlling and overbearing. I made it clear to her what my boundaries are in a very diplomatic and professional way. She completely melted down, finally realizing I'd figured her out and was not going to tolerate her nonsense. Keep in mind that she was very dependent on me and benefited greatly from working with me. I even told her to remember that she gets a lot more from me than me from her, and don't forget that. Oddly, she sabotaged her own lifestyle and "fired" me, as if somehow that would teach me a lesson. A prime example of narcicistic doubling down and just making the situation worse through even more extreme behavior and poor personal decision-making.

When I ended the relationship, the aftermath was awful! Much worse than the relationship. It gave "ugly" a whole new meaning. What a relief to out!

Wow! This is a very good topic! Maybe other vids have skirted around the “double down” technique but this double down technique is an aspect that is seldom understood in the real world. I talked to a therapist and when I told her that if I set boundaries, it would result in “punishment.” She thought I was talking about fate or karma. I never spoke to her again. These people have a sneaky way of getting revenge upon you just for setting a small boundary or refusing some small request. “Revenge is a dish best served cold” is their motto. Watch out, maybe a week later, but they will double down and you pay the price. All that Dr. C. Said.

Psychologically radioactive indeed! Great description Dr. C! Lol🙃