Can we rename Clerics “Sassy Healers”?

Cleric: * heals the party * Warlock: * heals the party * Bard: * heals the party * Paladin: * heals the party * Wizard: * heals the party * Cleric: Why am I in this party?! Barbarian: * rages to heal the party * Cleric How?! Lich: * heals the party * Cleric: * leaves the party*

Well I'm early. Heads up to everyone, he is getting laser eye surgery, the red spots are a side effect, everything is well and dandy and we don't have to worry! He said this in the community tab!

In Cleric's defense, their casting stat is essentially Common Sense, so they're surrounded by (comparative) idiots all the time

Cleric stereotype: Priest-type characters that's only good for healing. Cleric reality: probably the most versatile class as they're tanky full-casters that can be whatever they want with their very diverse choices of subclasses.

My current Cleric is the party tank, damage dealer, and healer, and I'm loving every minute of it.

The party: "You said you'd be playing a healer!" Me, playing a Cleric of Nerull and bent on covering the world in a plague of undeath so thick it could be felt from the astral plane: "No, I said I'd be playing a cleric. If you wanted clarification, you could have asked which god I was championing."

Very true, and might I add: "No, I won't spend my turn healing you! The DM literally said the boss was on its last legs. I'll just end the fight and heal you afterwards."

"Sometimes violence IS the answer!" is probably what went on in our own cleric's head when all the rest of us died one time and he had to finish off 3 orcs by himself

I recall playing a healer in an MMORPG (City of Heroes). I told the team: "I'm happy to keep you healed, but please don't run away from the team into a different room and go renegade. I won't chase you down." Later, a member did just that and continued to yell, "HEAL! HEAL! HEY HEALER! COME HEAL ME!" I got a sick satisfaction of watching his health drop to zero as I continued to heal the majority of the party.

The Cleric: "I swear to God, I will not heal you guys if you start another tavern fight!"

as someone once said,” You need the cleric, but the cleric don’t need you”

“Ah, the life of an adventuring cleric. I know it all too well. A perpetual struggle to maintain the hit point total of four to five nigh-suicidal tomb raiders determined to deplete them at any cost.”

Light clerics: Why waste time healing the party when you can just set everything that wants to harm the party on fire before it even has the chance to!

I know that you had laser eye surgery and that the red spots are a side effect of that and that you’re OK which is good. However, I only really noticed it whenever you are portraying how the Cleric was actually played a.k.a. why the cleric is always mad at his party. It did add flavor to it, that the stress of being the healer and always having to heal the rogue or resurrect the barbarian is just getting to him lol.

One of my favorite cleric memes will always be that anime doctor with a gun: "I'm a healer, but... *inflict wounds*" Always remember, killing something now is like future healing!

Party member: Should we buy potions? Other member: No we got a cleric. War Domain Cleric: ("Ok so if I cast spiritual weapon, and attack one round, I can cast inflict wounds and attack with the spirit weapon next round. I'll also use guiding bolt for long range attacks. And just incase I need to, I'll prepare shield of faith". *doesnt prepare healing spells*)

One time one of my players who were playing cleric got so sick of being the healer and switched to bard and SLAPPED the Wizard/Artificer to DEATH

Absolutely incredible video, you just forgot something very important Party: “You are the dedicated healer, you can’t be strong and independent and survive on your own” Cleric: “Wanna bet?” *one-shots the boss with inflict wounds* “I’ll do this to you all without any hesitation if needed”

The one “how cleric is actually played” that you missed. Regularly clothed Player: walks into the room. “Heys guys! Sorry I’m one minute late…” Table: DM, Wizard, Rogue, and Paladin. DM: “All we need now is…” Back to Player, now wearing Cleric costume: “Really?”

"Violance. If it's not the answer to all your problems, you're simply not using enough of it." -Every cleric ever, it seems

Wait, clerics have healing spells? (Looks at character sheet of death domain cleric) Is that new?

How people who don't understand 5E think Clerics are played: *Cure Wounds*. How Clerics are actually played: *Guiding Bolt, Spiritual Weapon, Spirit Guardians*, and maybe a *Healing Word* if one of the idiots gets downed.

I played a Fire Genasi Cleric of Kossuth, Light Domain, in a Curse of Strahd campaign. I went all in on the fire motive, as you can see. Fire, to her, was purifying and holy - destructive, yes, but the worthy would survive it, and out of the ashes, new life would be born. In other words, in a place as cursed and haunted and infested with darkness as Barovia, her answer to a problem was usually "let's just burn it all down". 😂

Session #1 DM: alright guys this is your first battle. You know what this means? Everyone: first one to die becomes the cleric!

rogue: "the cleric wants me to tell you resurrection costs a lot of money" barbarian: "muh-nee?" zealot barbarian: "a lot of what?"

How people think clerics play: "I cast heal. All the heal. Forever. I shall do naught but spam heal". How cleric is often played: "Look, there's an easy way and a hard way. The hard way is I heal you mouthbreathers while you try -and fail- to show off. The easy way is I call my deity on speed dial and get Daddy to sort things out, mkay?".

Cleric:you want some healing, here is your healing *slap* Wizard: dies of 1d4 cleric all mighty slap dammage

Most enjoyable one I've seen thus far. And for me it's tough to beat your video on how people think Warlocks are played

The way described this is perfectly accurate! Also the red spots from the eye surgery that you had adds extra flavor, like he had bloodshot eyes : - in Cleric EXPECTATION : *I Will not rest until you guys get out of a battle at full HP!* -in Cleric REALITY : i am so done with this team...

*Sees Party*: Bard: Trying to seduce everybody Barbarian: Having a fistfight with the Town's Guard Rouge: Looting the Inn Wizard: Accidentally burned down the Inn Paladin: trying to beat up the Rouge Cleric: Nope,I'm out!

now, you see, the misconception is that clerics are healers because that heavily armored dude with the hammer and a squad of spectral angels is a cleric, but he's not here to heal you

God, I felt that final "Sees party, just leaves" moment. I’ve been a healer* in my last two campaigns and sometimes these people were not worth the spell slot.

I play mostly with clerics. I liked to ignore some of the downed players and use only medicine checks on them to stabilize them. They were not worth the effort

The "Want some healing?" slap feels like it would be right at home on a Paladin using Lay On Hands

Time to make a party made of just 3 types of clerics. War, tempest, and grave…… my inner DM just started screaming at me

Ranger/cleric here. Healing isn't an issue when you just headshot everything before the party is in danger

As someone who's only ever played cleric I can in fact agree this is how clerics are played

"I have the power to save your life or _end_ it!" - The Healer Cleric probably.

0:41 My war cleric: What do you mean "sometimes"? 0:54 Everyone else decided to team up WITH the vampires controlling the city. EDIT: Also, I'd like to think the cleric was pissed at the barbarian because he kept killing npcs

the Healer i used in my last campaign where i was a player and not DM, smashed the dwarf over the head using his oaken quarter staff and shillelagh for being too loud before his morning coffee. In his defense, the Dwarf was Scottish, and my Cleric is an Irishman raised by Fae, who took a vow of sobriety when he became a cleric.

My first character was a Life Cleric of Hestia. She kept getting called a 6 star toon because of high AC, damage, and healing. The rest of the team (battlemaster fighter and vengeance paladin) converted themselves to Hestia, invoking her name, and their rolls got better. "This toon is such a 6 star that she can turn 3 star toons into 5 star toons!!!" - paladin

The cleric I am currently playing has been described as russian valkyrie and I completely adore her being the "I can and will leave you to die if you piss me off" combat medic that she is (magic mixed with first aid for flavor)

I loved when at one session, cleric was just some wood creep, witch-style. After battle, our barbarian asked for help, so cleric picked up some grass and flowers and give to him. "So? What am I supposed to do with it?" "Eat it" "Okay, so it's like... healthy herb?" *eats* "nah, idk what it is"

The line "oh no the rogue went down who could've done this, ~it was me~" is near the exact relationship my groups rogue and cleric have

You forgot the cleric with the armor and biiig mace, grinning maniacally, "I'm not that kind of cleric."

I run for a Grave Cleric. Claire's outlook is "I don't have to heal if the monster is too dead to attack."

“Can someone please tell the Barbarian next time that resurrection costs a lot of money?!” Path of the Zealot Barbarian: [laughs]

This is the best one of the series. The cleric is essentially the party mom.

I played a Shadar-Kai Grave Cleric a while back. If y’all don’t know, Shadar-Kai are lawful evil and the grave domain has a feat called Circle of Mortality (when a creature is at 0 hp, you automatically heal the max possible). To preface this, I got my DM’s permession to do this once during the campaign. My Shadar-Kai was very apathetic towards healing. He did it because his goddess said one of the party member (a ranger) was to survive at all cost. So he did it because he was told to, not because he liked the other members. The barbarian always needed healing and would yell at my cleric to heal him if he was getting impatient. So when they were higher level far in a dungeon, the barbarian had lost almost all of his hp and was yelling how he needed to be max health before they went into the next chamber - where they thought the boss battle would be. My cleric was so over everything and was like “You need it? You really need it? Fine!” My cleric placed a hand on the barbarian and said, “This will hurt me a lot more than it hurts you.” Then he stabbed the barbarian in the gut, bringing him to 0 hp. My cleric stabilized him then used Life Transference and Circle of Mortality. Which meant that the barbarian automatically got 64 hp at the expense of my cleric losing 32 hp. So the barbarian gets stabbed and ends up better off than he was before the stabbing. The barbarian was furious and my Shadar-Kai just brushed him off. “You said you needed it. You’re welcome.” The players had no idea I could do this but the DM just went “that’s your one” while laughing her ass off.

Cleric: You want some healing? *SLAP* Wizard: Dies

I absolutely love the sound effect with the "divine slap." Also, something something red eye spot is from eyeball surgery.

Cleric: That's a nice boss you got there. It'd be shame if someone casted inflict wounds on it. *maniacally laughs in 3d10*

"Can't heal you through walls." "The Barbarian has taken more damage than you Rogue, so...."

That healing slap… So, one of the new monk archetypes allows you to heal. I reflavored this to be my character punching the healing into others, so that’s what I thought of.

I am really looking forward to getting further into our current DnD campaign. We have 3 clerics and a rouge, our DM is displeased but also pretty amused. If the rogue dies we're -forcing- persuading him to make his new character a cleric XD

Wizard: Don’t get mad but I may of accidentally cast fireball on the party Barbarian: I was solo fighting 20 orcs Me a Cleric who worships Zeus: the father of all gods has teach me the way of belting his kids, while I aggressively summon my divine belt.

**jester**

having played a cleric I can relate to that, before I joined the group, they had a "Healer" in a divination wizard with one (1) level as a life domain cleric, I heard that and was like guess I'm the healer

I know the reason behind the red mark. Yet it adds so much to the cleric making this video even funnier with him being 110% done with the party's crap XD Safe recovery to you thou Duke and have a good one :D

My first cleric basically couldn't heal, half-orc tempest domain cleric of Kord, ran full Frontline tank and damage dealer, let the druid and paladin handle the heals 😜

As a supports style player, please, don't forget to thank your healers. Turst me it will make their day. Also I maybe seeing things but your eye looks blood shot in that second half. I don't know if that was intentional or not but it fits perfectly with the frustration I have do deal with on the daily as a healer.

He forgot the part where everyone else goes down and the cleric is fighting the whole group by themselves.

This is why I want to play a chaotic evil healer. "Yeah, I'll heal you. What's in it for me?"

"Why would I waste time healing you when there are enemies to infllict wounds upon?"

This reminded me of a character I had once he was specialized in healing and general maintenance stuff, it's really funny how quickly those murder_hobos start acting civil when you tell them to behave or"no free healing no free consumables no free equipment repair" Quick warning for anyone trying this you will need at least one combat specialist to act as your enforcer so the murder_hobos don't try to pull a dwarf chained to an anvil scenario ( had that happen to a craftsman character once, took the party for every to realize I was intentionally making items the wrong way trying to blow us all up not sure how we kept surviving)

I love that no matter what team game you're playing the healer is always the annoyed tired mom who is tired of her kids bs.

"Can someone PLEASE tell the barbarian that resurrection costs a lot of money?!" *laughs in Zealot Barbarian*

I'm playing a Death Cleric and lemme tell ya: One turn I healed a Monk from near dying to full hp, and then the next I used and inflict wounds and channel Divinity to do 50 damage. I can both heal the party and I am the highest damage dealer we have XD

I still loved the game that my cleric was a necromancer. He knew enough heals and lines to make everyone think he was a good cleric, but every line said also counted as him being a necromancer on the side.

The blood in the eye really sells how stressed a cleric gets in dnd.

Guido Fantalli was a fountain of health, and any time he attacked it was a one shot Inflict Wounds. RIP, you crazy chef.

Played a cleric once. Had more health than the fighter and a higher AC than the goddamn paladin. It was a chaotic party. I healed the sorcer once, he dropped to 1 HP and I healed him for 19 and his max health WAS 19. I then left because he hit me with a fireball by accident and I narrowly made the save on it. He went down real hard after and I didn't heal, he's been very bitter about it since😂

I mean I haven't been annoyed with the party so much that I just won't heal them but everything else I felt. Also funnily enough my Cleric just got back from her solo adventure after she left the party because of her want for revenge.

Reason why my favorite character way back. Playing in a campaign in the old-school setting of World of Greyhawk. That character was a Cleric of Saint Cuthbert. He was literally Judge Dredd. And I yelled, "I AM THE LAW!" A lot. Even giving the middle finger to a natural weather event, ie a tornado, surviving the fall and later ending up building a Church and that location of where I landed became a Holy Sight. To which. Even Nature cannot stop The Law.

It’s my first D&D campaign where I’ve lasted more than one session (I tried a couple times before but I was really really obnoxious as a teen so I got punished in the game to the point I just gave up). I’m a Death Cleric and this video is pretty much spot on. Yesterday’s session was a little something like, *me zoned out over my spell cards* “Ashley! Ashley… you have to kill goblins.” “Okay there’s like a group of them right?! I’ll use my only fourth level spell slot to cast Burning Hands. *succeeds and incinerates the only 2 goblins that were there. Just 2…* “Oh dang! There goes that slot! I hope I’m not screwed for the boss battle.” *gets teased lightly by the ranger and barbarian* “I would like to remind you both that I’m the only healer in the group.” *gets to boss battle eventually after reminding the group I’m the only healer another 2 times while killing miscellaneous goblins* “So our doom is behind the door? Is the door made of wood? I have another fire spell.” “No the door is made of stone.” “My only weakness!” *we get in there* “The main bad guys seem pretty intimidating. I hope we don’t take too much damage considering I only took one healing spell.” *I literally blast the crap out of them and let the ranger and barbarian finish them off. We kill them in only 2 rounds of combat.* “Wasn’t there an injured dwarf? I should go heal him. After all… I’m the only healer in this group.”

Also casts lesser restoration on the bard every morning when staying in town out of habit.

Yeah, that sounds about right

I’ve done the slap healing before. Is great flavor for when you want to be like “don’t be stupid” in character but you still gotta heal them

Everyone's like "clerics are healers." My grave domain cleric: "clerics DEAL DAMAGE and DISPENSE DEATH (and also heal sometimes if you really really need it)."

I love how his eyes are bloodshot like most clerics

Me, a cleric/ranger in Pathfinder who uses a longsword in both hands, deals 1d8+22 damage and has 3 attacks.... What is healing?

This pretty much sums up what happened to the first Cleric I played. A LN Dragoborn Cleric who went out to recover a lost relic and within the first session was wondering wtf she'd gotten herself into. It says alot when you and the LE minotaur Barbarian are the only source of common sense in the group. By the third session she'd brought a bottle of whiskey to cope.

This is why the Zealot Barbarian is the Cleric's not-secret favorite. They don't have to worry about healing them and reviving them is literally free.

what would have put this over the top for me is if the "how clerics are actually played" section was just clips of Jester

Laura Bailey: wait...clerics are supposed to heal? Me: *cocks by holy water launching crossbow* News to me (yes my cleric really has that it's an old 3.5 item called a Flask launcher costs 200 gp and lets you crit with potions fired from it on a 19)

"Somebody tell the barbarian ressurection costs a lot of money" Zealot barbarians: *i don't have such weaknesses*

Leader: So that's the plan. And the moment any of us goes down, the healer can pick us right back up again. Right? Cleric: So excited to finally meet this healer, been such a big reveal tease all campaign!

I love this but you need a whole party of Clerics so you can call the party "The A-Men" and bust down a dragon's door demanding there lunch money😃👍💖

First

Aw man, I played my cleric in Tomb of Annihilation, which meant resurrection of any sort didn’t work. I felt like I was missing out on one of my key features, but he was still super fun to play.

I have an original character: A half elf who was gonna be an artificer but had to abandon their dream bc they blew their arm off. They then decided to be a cleric so that ppl can follow their dreams

Every campaign I've been in, not a single person wants to take a healing spell. DMs can manage their world based around a party without a healer, but literally everyone is like "oh no, there's no healer, the party can't work!" so I just be a healer everytime. This is fine, after all I do like healing... until you realize that there's a very good chance your party is going to do the dumbest decisions, likely causing the party to fight at every opportunity. This video is very accurate to my thoughts sometimes...

Rogue: *steals all the health potions in the world* Cleric: *visibly offended knowing the rogue won't share* Rogue: what? You wanna heal the world, get to it

My first cleric was a life cleric of lathander and boy did I go through all of the "oh no their down again to I CHOOSE VIOLENCE!" It was so much fun!

When you’re a life cleric and you kill the chaos elemental with an 8th level inflict wounds: “Ok, sometimes violence IS the answer.”

Cleric: "Oh no, you misunderstand. I am the healer, I decide who lives and who dies."

Played my first D&D campaign last year as a human cleric, I expected to be the party healer and buff everyone but i very quickly became the primary tank (until our goliath barbarian joined halfway) and most inclined to commit unalive, while also keeping the party alive x') The slow descent into angry healer trope was an adventure

My friend played a cleric named Roderik. He had "the rules of Roderik". It boiled down to "do something stupid, and I won't heal you" XD

Every group needs a healer, not every group appreciates just how much. Every time you get healed by your cleric, just mentally mark down owing them a drink later (IRL or in game, either works).