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I'm 60 years old and just figured out very recently how to sincerely apologize. I grew up in a family where apologies were never accepted and they were used against you. So I always believed that apologizing to somebody would only make my life worse. But now I have different people in my life, and I find it's the opposite.

this guy should be teaching all of our education systems the fundamentals of a better society

Great teaching! Humility is the first step toward peace. Own your mistakes and work to set things right! We can walk with Joy when we know we are free in Christ to offer forgiveness in the same way we want to have it for ourselves!

I've been known my entire life, as ALWAYS apologizing, even to the irritation of close friends & family. It was comforting to discover my thought process was correct, however the process & method was not the best. So grateful for this training & my continued learning!👏

Oh my goodness, this is awesome!! Apologizing the RIGHT way, is a marriage saver, INDEED!! 😅🥰🙏❤💕

This video is a pretty valuable tool for all of us trying to learn how to communicate better. Apologizing has been kind of daunting for me. I really like the steps you've drawn up! Thanks, Alex Lyon!

Agreed! Will Smith didn't acknowledge the specific action he was sorry for, therefore the apology came across as insincere along with his crocodile tears! Good advice to keep in my back pocket when I need to apologize! God Bless you too😇

Thanks Coach. KZfaq loves you! You came up first in autoplay. I should send this to my sisters. Growing up around people who will never apologise has helped me tremendously. I apologise comfortably & with ease. I'd never want to be seen as someone who can't admit when I was wrong. Few traits are so ugly.

Thank you for this video. It is wonderful! It certainly could help a lot of people! 🤗 I am almost 42 years old. When I was little, my grandmother used to tell me and my cousins & siblings that I'm sorry means: I understand what I did wrong & I wont do it again. (I can see now that she was right.) Im grateful to have been raised in a large Catholic family. I now understand that the process of prayer (which includes reflecting on my actions) & having to humble myself before a priest during Confession from a young age, and of having to do Penance afterwards (the act of trying to make things right) significantly contributed to who I am today. Im far from perfect but am high in conscientiousness, dont hold grudges, always try to put myself in the other persons shoes, dont let the sun set on my anger, am always reflecting on how I can grow as a person/friend/mother/wife/citizen... Mistakes/conflicts weigh heavily on my mind. I think about what I can learn from the incident & feel compelled to talk things through with the other person & to make things right. Its sad & disturbing just how many people seem to lack personal insight & dont know how to take responsibility for their actions. Others avoid problems & act like nothing happened, which can be even more upsetting than the incident... 🙄 May God help us all to help eachother. Thanks for another great video! 🙏🏼

Great advice, Alex. Before apologizing, it's also a good idea to make sure the person you offended is LISTENING. If someone is distracted,--say, texting on their phone--wait until you have their full attention; otherwise, you may craft a perfect apology but it falls on deaf ears. Keep up the fantastic videos. I use several of your videos in my speech communication and public speaking courses.

I always enjoy your content. Thank you for this topic and exploring an apology when future legal action may be involved. I have often wondered about this and how clients are advised to proceed as far as admitting fault by way of an apology.

Thank you Alex for sharing. Grateful.

Just found your channel and liked what I have seen so far. New subscriber. Thanks for the good tips.

Apologies that could place you in a weak position going forward, or that could expose you to legal liability, are not in your best interest. This is why the one insurance you must buy if you drive -- auto -- urges you NOT to apologize or discuss blame in case you have an accident. Most people know that their insurance advises this, which is exactly why they are chary about apologies in general. It's less about feelings and more about money. Most people can sense when apologies are win-win. Of course make those apologies, the sooner the better.

I shared this video with my wife today. She's a kindergarten teacher. She writes, "Thank you, Jeffrey! I just watched it while I was taking my vitamins. I actually chose to apologize to my class yesterday because we were running out of time for something and I had to rush directions and it confused them. Thankfully it wasn't a giant issue, but it's still something I wanted to take ownership for and learn from. Thankfully, I think I followed the guidelines in the video when I apologized! Who is the guy that did the video? I liked his way of sharing and he was easy to follow. Thanks, again!😘"

Such an easily overlooked topic in communication, but empires and complete world orders have and further will go down just for not sincerely apologizing.

I like the parts legal implication and recap. It's a wonderful tool for our working life. Thanks coach !

Wonderful advice! Years ago my son told me some of the things i had done as a mother that he resented me for. İ listened, and even though some of the details he remembered i thought were incorrect, I didn't argue. Just listened. Afterwards i wrote him a letter making my apology. İ did not correct his memories. İ admitted that i had made the mistakes he mentioned and i specifically acknowledged how those mistakes affected him. Within a short time after receiving my written apology, he let me know that he forgave me and that he was really more upset about something else going on in his life and was taking it out on me. İ told him it was good that he told me about his resentments and that i was always open to hearing about anything i did that was wrong or hurtful. İ believe that apology made all the difference in the outcome. To this day, we have a very close and loving relationship. We trust each other to say the truth. On the other side of the story, a couple years ago a very close friend did something that put me and her in danger. İ tried to stop her and she resisted my request for her to stop. İ finally had to insist that she stop and since she was in my home at the time, she did stop. She left my home that day and never apologized for what she did. İ have not spoken to her since. İ believe if she had just offered a very simple apology, i would've melted and lost my resentment instantly. She had always proudly said that she never apologized no matter what to her partner. That didn't matter to me till she did something to me that was dangerous and hurtful. Well thought out and heartfelt apologies make all the difference to good relationships. None of us is perfect. We all should try to be good at apologies and at forgiving too. Thank you for the opportunity to tell my apology stories.

Apologize in a structured approach, thank you for the video !

A great video! I'm going to try my best to practice Alex's four steps of a good apology.

Thank you! This was helpful!

Thanks for sharing. It is great!

This goes along with what I heard, which is that patients sue doctors they do not like. So being likable, having a good or great bedside manner, & actually caring about a patient, must go a long ways to preventing lawsuits.

Really needed this word today. Thank you and God bless you.

Thank u very much much.🙏

I had a pretty big life changing experience that involved apologies or lack there of haha. I unknowingly made a comment that alot of people were upset with and I was quickly forced to publicly apologize within an hour of the incident even though I had no time to process what happened. of course it wasn't the best apology and alot of people did not like it and they continued to express that for the coming weeks. By that time I was frustrated that these people were still hammering me so I made a super long "apology" that was more of just me blaming everything else and everyone else and that just threw more gas on the fire. there was never any personal resolution and it still haunts me to this day. But now I can look back and realize what went wrong on my end and how to handle similar situations in the future should they arise. oh and it also didn't help that the apologies had to be in written/text format since it was going to a large amount of people.

I had to give a sort of legal type apologize to a coworker. I told him I was sorry he was on a bad call and sorry our supervisor did not see an email that I sent more than 2 hours earlier. He was angry at me because he said I should have sent the email, to which I sent a screenshot proving that I did. I do not believe that I did anything wrong. I think the supervisor that did not see the email was at fault. I chose this route because he was very angry. I did not want to prostrate because I did not want to set a pattern that blaming me for another person's mistake was acceptable. I wasn't going to be his emotional toilet. In truth, he wasted a lot of time blaming me and giving me the 3rd degree, blaming me for him not quickly working the call and moving on. He said it was my fault that he was on a long call. If he had been more polite and less accusatory, the conversation may have gone differently.

Great content! Thanks for that. It makes me think about my own behavior for sure.

Hello, thank you so much for your efforts Alex.

Nailed it! Very well explained. I'll be showing this to students.

Nice piece of advice.

It's been almost 3 yrs since I hard from someone close to me, I was forcely accused of something I didn't do. I tried calling and sending msgs but didn't get any responses. I miss them all

I'll condense this for most. Be sincere and be honest. Everything else doesn't mean shit if you don't do this. Other than that he tells you to follow through on your actions, which that would be, being sincere.

Really great content! Thank you Coach Alex :)

Lisa gave a very good word of you and’s true. Thanks.!!!

Perfect way to apologize:”I am sorry”

I always commit such types of mistakes but from now and onwards I'll try to follow your tips in a better way. i am from Pakistan

Excellent info. Thanks for sharing

How do you handle a situation when you’re feel a nervy person has said something to you, you slept on it , feel you deserve an apology and are genuinely hurt, and you never receive an apology? Any action or words?

Alex, that was a wonderful video and thank you for teaching with such clarity. I joke with my wife (and perhaps hold a little grudge) about the number of times I find myself apologising after we have some kind of disagreement. I have often wondered why she seems so reluctant to apologise, however these tips demonstrate that I’ve been doing it wrong! And how important it is to keep the focus on what we can control, commit to, and take ownership of. On reflection, I have not been apologising with this level of ownership. I am curious to see if this kind of apology will catch on in my household ;)

Another great one!

Very good

Excellent advice.

Gobless you too

So basically, be sincere and be honest. 2-4 were only true if you're sincere.

I think people mean when they say don't apologize is some thing like don't apologize for the wrong reasons. Don't be coerced into an apology.

Great, now you know how to apologize for making all your videos.👍🏿

I scored a number in my Utme exam but lied to my people that I scored higher than the original score jokingly, without realizing...it has already spread in the entire school and I got called by the principal to congratulate me and send our results to the district but it was all a lie... And I have to apologize to clear the air b4 it's too late, and I get into a worse situation cus I really didn't mean to lie to everyone it was just a friend to friend joke that I would have teased about normally but now I ended up in this kind of situation and I'm sincerely going crazy

I’m not only taking Valuable information and guidance but English to BTW I got your channel Through Lisa from accurate English thanks for everything

Woow incredible video

Do you have online class for learning speak English?

Excellent, just what we all need. You may have actually said this inside one of the points, so if I missed that, I apologize. 🙂 Here's an apology story that didn't fly with me. I've made this mistake myself, but after reading about this, (? Don't remember which book or article?) I watch myself on it. -- My dear friend got very hateful with me because I said something that she took the wrong way. Her long email apology went well, until this stinger at the end of a long whip - "But if you hadn't said what you said..." That article called that kind of an "apology" a spike at the end of a smooth tail that whips around to get you. I'd almost have felt better if she'd never apologized. She still blamed me for her cruel words. Her taking possession of them throughout her apology suddenly went flat and meaningless. Of course, I forgave her. We are friends as if that had never happened. If I had called her attention to it, the healing wouldn't have taken place. I also apologized. I should have watched my words better. What do you think of this? Is it worth a fifth tip, or does it fit in with the first one? Also, I remember learning the "twelve step program" for AA. (BTW, those 12 steps can apply to so much more than alcoholism). One of those steps is "make ammends - as much as is in your power to do so." Might not be an exact quote. I thought that was a great yet difficult step, and you have it here. Our dad taught us that saying "I'm sorry," to a sibling (our first relationship learning ground), that it means, "I'll never do that again. And, we'd keep each other to that!! You're right, it's the way they know you meant it. On Home Improvement, the dad made the best apologies and made good ammends. Good writers on that. 🙂

I have lived in or travelled to many countries. Based on my observation, Americans are among those who apologize the least. They only do when it is about trivial things that they won't have to take responsibilities for.

Regarding your example on point 2 being phony i.e I am sorry that you feel that way, how do I apologize in a situation where I say something truthfully and sincerely to someone and the person gets offended. I don't want to apologize for being wrong when I don't think I am but how do I assuage the other person's hurt feelings?

Worst apologies I ever got were just used as examples to show me that they apologize properly and I never do. It wasn't a real apology, just another opportunity to tell me I was wrong or something was wrong with me. And deflecting from what they did while they were supposedly apologizing. He said apologize and sorry are different. That sorry is genuine feeling and apologize is just a format thing not real feeling.

when I watch your videos I feel like I'm looking into the code of human behavior, to put it into computer terms. it's like I'm looking at the data from behind the scenes and figuring out what exactly goes on when we talk.

I broke most these rules before. I apologised to my brother via text, thing is, I didnt do anything wrong and I sure as heck wasnt sincere about it. I did it mostly to keep the peace in the family(he is very sensitive) Should I take back all the apologies I gave him?

an old co-worker sent me a letter. he said that he had regrets that he was not a better friend. is that an apology ?

Don't you just hate those lame apologies where the person starts out with: "I apologize for XYZ..." And then, he or she says: "BUT... (blah, blah, blah)" -- thus negating the whole purpose of the apology in the first place. Lame!! 🙄

salut salut bon samedi bon week end 🙂

Im going to send this to a person who has attacked me several times when i did not instigate any of them. if they refuse to apologize, whatever. I dont want them in my life whether they apologize or not, at this point, but at least i will have given them the TOOLS to do so when they attack other people. Perhaps they will think twice about attacking people to begin with! 🤔😬🙄

Will Smith should have watched this video before recording a half-baked excuse and upload it in KZfaq. By the way, I crashed on someones car last summer. He was furious. I apologized him properly at that moment and told him that I take full responsibility on crashing his car with my car and that I felt sorry for making him feel bad. He calmed down quickly. Never send me a bill from the repair. Instead he send me a message: "Have a great rest of the summer!"

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Anyone here to find out if they apologize the right way?

What if they won’t apologize and you are always taking the blame?

It’s a shame that this simple, topic, needs to be explained to “modern” humans.

what if someone insulted you with racist jokes and you just don't need/want to continue the relationship?

If I tell you the context of my situation, can I hear your advice for how I apoIogize?

I hate saying "I apologize", but what I hate more is not saying I'm sorry when it eventually dawns on me that I was wrong. Once I know I was wrong, I apologize unreservedly. Even if I hate it.

Just call us the "I'm sorry" generation.

Saying the word " I'm Sorry" is pathetic drivel! ad nauseam, It is an insensitive and meaningless word, only low character individuals use such vomit when offending someone I'm Sorry!.. as if this five letter word encompasses perhaps a cascade of hurt and harm to another human being.. I'm sorry is best used for trivial things, like, I'm sorry, I didn't take out the trash, or I clogged the toilet, or forgot to stop for milk..An apology is a combination of two verbs, correcting your error with words that leaves a healing balm to the offended, one should go about it quickly.. I'd say more, however coach Alex summed it up quite well...

This video shoud have 8 bilion views, not 30 thousand. Thank you. :o)