How To Deal With Toxic Coworkers

Рет қаралды 27,472

2 ай бұрын

🎉 Sign up to get 20% off a year of Brilliant Premium → brilliant.org/alifeengineered
📈Transform your tech career with my free weekly newsletter - newsletter.alifeengineered.com/
💥 Continue the conversation on my Discord server with like-minded viewers. The advice section is *chef's kiss* - / discord
💥 My KZfaq content will always be free of charge but if you'd like to support the channel, I'd be honored if you supported me on Patreon - / alifeengineered
🚀 If you want to get promoted fast, I'd love to work with you personally: speedruntopromotion.com
BOOKS THAT CHANGED MY LIFE
So Good They Can't Ignore You - geni.us/SoGood This book transformed my life when I read it for the first time nearly 10 years ago. It's still guides the way I think about self-development today.
Deep Work - geni.us/ALE-DeepWork The most important currency you have is your undivided attention. This book shows you exactly how to spend this currency in a manner that will lead to head-turning accomplishment.
SYSTEM DESIGN
Designing Data-Intensive Applications geni.us/DataIntensive
Currently the best reference for contemporary for system design.
System Design Interview (Volume 2) geni.us/SystemDesignIntervie and geni.us/SystemDesignInterview - For interviews, the best references are System Design Interview and System Design Interview Volume 2 by Alex Xu.
I get a kick-back for the affiliate links above. The opinions expressed in this video are my own. I do not speak for Amazon.

Пікірлер: 75

@ALifeEngineered 2 ай бұрын

@missjazzytan 2 ай бұрын

How would you deal with toxic coworkers who are higher level than you and are clearly playing games to make themselves seem more valuable in front of the big boss?

@mlguy8376 2 ай бұрын

If you don’t have a connection or a skip manager then HR or leave (secret info here HR puts the company first) - you stay at a place to continue growing, learning new things and grinding titles (if that is what you want) a toxic direct manager will make it hard on the first two, and even harder for the later.

@judicaeltombo6663 2 ай бұрын

Quiet quiet and apply elsewhere; it's a dead end. I've been there before. At the time I sensed I'd be fired because of the unrealistic deadlines set by my lead and manager, who were tight with head of HR. They had a habit of firing devs on a whim, including three to four devs before me. In the end, I got fired 🔥 Since I went with my gut feeling I applied to other jobs during my pip process. I ended up getting a job shortly after my termination and for more pay.

@DEVDerr 2 ай бұрын

Been there. Just leave It will only impact your mental health badly. I was trying to overcome this, but I've only extended the agony which made my recovery way longer than it should. Health&time is too valuable to deal with such bullshit.

@richard975 2 ай бұрын

send out 20 job applications immediately, no hesitation

@jeffreyt999 2 ай бұрын

i loved that saying. "Others judge us by our actions while we judge ourselves by our intentions."

@annle986 2 ай бұрын

i love this vid ! It's very refreshing to see such a compassionate and self-aware lead with great communication skill like yourself :)! The last part where you said make sure you're not a toxic person really makes me want to write this comment. I'm a girl in tech who has encountered so many unkind and egotistical individuals and managers who lack self-awareness. I think there's a hierarchy in tech that puts more weight on being a technical superior than a kind person so people just stick to that. Even when I like engineering, I've been thinking about leaving for some time (another option is to become my female boss, who has to be a tough ass to appear more capable). Wish I had a mentor like you in the field Steve :).

@skyhappy 2 ай бұрын

6:20 is so true...I saw it last May. The product manager proposed a solution but it sucked. Was unintuitive. A dev implemented it but it never got brought into production. Few months later, another dev, a bit more brilliant, implemented it with a better solution. I remember him telling someone "you have to talk to the users". To know their raw concerns. After making it his way, he met with users and he said they loved it. His solution was a simple to-do list on the left side so users could go back to things they bookmarked. It worked great. And as a developer, you can tell which solution is both technically feasible as well as most practical. Proudct managers usually aren't devs so they have no idea which solution is feasible.

@olala7846 2 ай бұрын

Key notes: 1. Don't stoop to the level of toxic coworkers 2:01 2. A toxic cowerkers is not likely to change their behavior 9:36 3. Make sure YOU aren't the toxic cowerker 22:04

@alanpatrick7465 2 ай бұрын

22 mins for that? lmao

@abudhabi9850 2 ай бұрын

Hi Steve love your vids! Keep it up, always watch them. Your takeaways are really helpful for a starting engineer like me. Btw, when listening to your video the audio sounds a bit cold/far away. Maybe a warmer mic would make your videos even better!

@nkj123 2 ай бұрын

I have been binge watching your channel for quite a bit now. I must say that I am enjoying the high quality content. Please keep it coming. I'd like to see more of you when I start a SWE job. Currently, in college.

@joe3265 2 ай бұрын

Some of the most useful advice I have seen on yt. Even if I'm not guilty of pessimism or have received complaints as noted in one of the points (dealing with fake excitement from corporatism), I found it helpful to reflect on that possibility that I may respond in a particular way from that belief. While I may not agree with that vibe, I do not want to make things difficult for my team. As far as toxic managers, yes it can make it difficult but unfortunately it can trickle down into creating a hostile environment amongst your coworkers. I agree that the best solution is not to engage in these behaviors. It can be helpful (as it was for me) to trust that eventually everyone's character comes to the surface. I've also found that when we collectively (and professionally) challenge the manager, we can and have made a better environment. Though, like /ourguy/ mentions, it may be best to move on if you can, as it can eventually turn you into a bitter coworker. Thanks for portraying an accurate view that isn't all doom, wish more teams had leads that can help others grow, it isn't all just about code like you mentioned.

@learyryan 2 ай бұрын

Wow congrats on taking the leap to the next phase! I look forward to seeing what you do next.

@some1rational 2 ай бұрын

this was great, really enjoy the advice, explanations, and reasoning behind what is said

@cigdemylmaz1532 Ай бұрын

Thanks for great advise !

@KevinNaughtonJr 2 ай бұрын

great vid steve, also you look great in maize and blue :P

@ryanmanak4129 2 ай бұрын

This channel is absolute gold!

@17aleshka 2 ай бұрын

Hey, nice sound! Where do you hide your mic?

@NigelGale1188 2 ай бұрын

This is great content, steve.

@keanu8539 2 ай бұрын

Hey Steve, I'm not sure if it's just me, but your video's audio is mainly playing in my right headphone channel, and not both - is that intentional?

@TomaszKokoszka 2 ай бұрын

Hi Steve. Great video! Question: what are your thoughts and advices on delivering constructive criticism? Are there some frameworks for that that you would recommend? How to construct the message? Most cases are ambiguous, how to be sure to not jump the gun?

@colevano 2 ай бұрын

Nice hat, Steve!

@mohibquadri4053 2 ай бұрын

Sir in any industry before joining the company as engineer how to identify pain points or concerns of our boss/recruiters before interview or after it so i can position myself as solution to those problems ? How to use fear or loss aversion to improve our impact and success rate..

@kcnl2522 Ай бұрын

Im quitting this week because of toxic coworkers/seniors not letting me do anything (which results to not learning or moving in my career). Anyway i can avoid this happening again?

@user-oo4ft3jt9s 2 ай бұрын

What to do if I don't have enough career capital to leave a toxic environment in this bad economy? Feel the work is unsustainable and sacrificing personal life even health. (only ~2 YOE; previous company shut down; landed this job 2 months ago; tried the market and know it's hard; even if I find another opportunity, most likely I have to sacrifice other aspects like location)

@KevinNaughtonJr 2 ай бұрын

ending "hat" me dying 😂

@namjitharavind 2 ай бұрын

I am working as contractor java developer in amazon. Is there any proper way to get it permanent

@MichaelLazarski 2 ай бұрын

Can you make a video "How to take the edge of my communication". I see that this is a common problem I have and also according to this video comments

@user-nu4lz3bu6f Ай бұрын

It's very true that a person won't change his behaviour. Never seen it in my career.

@jimbojimbo6873 2 ай бұрын

What do when you are toxic co worker

@stefanwullems 2 ай бұрын

Great content! I switched from software dev to IT Career Coach and I’ll expect to get a lot of value from your youtube channel! :)

@ordinarygg 2 ай бұрын

Please work on sound) adjust a bit because I thought my right ear is shut-down)

@emersonpfeiffer9674 2 ай бұрын

Hey Steve. Michigan alum here. That blue hat looks real nice on you 😉〽️

@oleksandrkhivrych6349 25 күн бұрын

Can talking with the skip manager make things worse?

@kcnl2522 2 ай бұрын

My toxic coworkers in senior level wont let me and other juniors learn or even do anything, so we spend most of our time staring at a screen. What can I do?

@skyhappy 2 ай бұрын

tell your manager and he can tell them to behave? otherwise, work harder and outshine them out of spite

@kcnl2522 2 ай бұрын

@@skyhappy okay but how can you work harder when you got nothing to work on? It is easy for me to tell my manager about it but i dont want to come off as a crybaby or a negative person throwing dirt on someone.

@skyhappy 2 ай бұрын

@@kcnl2522 you got no work? Then lay low and chill

@JohnReed-et9zm 2 ай бұрын

@@kcnl2522Getting paid to do nothing… this is quite the dilemma! 😂

@joe3265 2 ай бұрын

@@kcnl2522Some build an attitude that Juniors shouldn't do certain tasks. They either have had an experience or have adopted a false belief (which might not personally have anything to do with u). I would recommend asking politely and publicly during standups or any shared meeting. Ask if you can either take something on or tag along or pair while a more tribal knowledge person works on the issue. I am saying this politely, if tech isn't an issue, then it is tribal knowledge, even more senior engineers can have this issue going to new jobs. So another important thing is to show them in some capacity that you are capable technically. I won't list anything exhaustive but if there is a topic where the tribal knowledge is in question for you but not the tech, ask a question with respect to your technical knowledge. Trying to engage in conversations, if you can't think of any, pretend without saying anything until you've come up with one that you think is appropriate. Hit up a more senior person who you think might be comfortable to chat with and ask for feedback. There are a lot of answers and without more information it is difficult for anyone to give solid feedback. It's great that you don't want to come off as negative or throw someone under the bus already! Like homie said, it isn't just about coding but our behavior. Wish u the best of luck!

@robertlemiesz7143 2 ай бұрын

Im not sure I agree with the point made at 15:54. Both statements to me sounded like slightly reworded versions of the same thing, and your manager would be asinine to prefer one over the other. I get that it can be un-professional to always be pessemistic, but I think over using of corporate bullshit it beurecratic professionalism, that in the end does not help the team meet their objective. I think what ive learned over the years is to: 1. Save your true feelings for your manager/senior 1:1s or team level retros. I always expect my team to be extremly honest in those and cut the corporate bullshit. Sometimes I'll hear patterns of complaining coming from multiple juniors, and to me that is signal of a systemic problem that needs to be escalated. 2. For wider org level review meetings, don't come in ranting about problems. Rather write up a document explaining your position and include data supporting your assesments. Most importantly make sure you propose solutions. diverist"

@_jko 2 ай бұрын

Sound isn't balanced. The right side is significantly louder. Your last 30 seconds about another video is correctly balanced but the sound quality is atrocious like I'm hearing this through the phone line. Content wise, very good though. I agree with you on the last advice. People need to learn how to teach better.

@bootymansosrs9546 2 ай бұрын

It doesn't really seem like your thing, but one day can you do some reviews on Blind posts? Would love to see you review some funny ones but I also come across a serious post once in a while and wonder what you would think about it.

@jimmylingo-km3sr 2 ай бұрын

Good luck on your transition from Amazon. Sounds like you're choosing YT over another dev job. Regardless, thanks for all the great vids and hope things go well for you!

@cbrrebates 2 ай бұрын

Toxic coworkers are everywhere

@rowanmenezes7635 2 ай бұрын

Hi Steve! What watch are you wearing? Sorry watch nerd here :)

@shadyabhi 2 ай бұрын

Following

@ALifeEngineered 2 ай бұрын

I’m wearing a neo-vintage Bluesey.

@nataliiagetlin3611 2 ай бұрын

Hi Steve, why did you left Amazon?

@ArpanAsawa 2 ай бұрын

Honestly "corporate talk" is result of people being "professional". I used to find them annoying when I was "straightforward". I don't find them annoying anymore cause I'm "professional" now 😂.

@fateriddle14 Ай бұрын

Another youtuber just quit the job and I was suddenly like "I haven't seen life engineered video at all, I thought he quit job to be focusing on creating content", and I'm here, 3 videos after 2 months into retirement...

@GrandTerr 2 ай бұрын

My biggest problem is me being dismissive and or angry related to what we are doing and not the person. People wrongly associate it with their own experience of stress derived from person vs person confrontations into the mix. Rarely there are smart people who get it and don't go personal

@anthonyh618 2 ай бұрын

GO BLUE!

@mikerico6175 2 ай бұрын

Layoffs are not the last resort 😂

@Fanaro 2 ай бұрын

9:50 Shouldn't it be a skip-2-level boss? Your skip-level boss is still very closely related to your boss. Of course, not all companies have that many levels, and even fewer allow for employees way down to talk to them.

@robertlemiesz7143 2 ай бұрын

The fact that your skip level works closely with your boss is a feature and not a bug. If your manager is behaving in a way that is not productive, your skip level will want to know. Your managers performance is something that your skip level is evaluated on.

@kanesee 2 ай бұрын

The video was great as always. But I can't help but think that it was all a big setup to call Michigan fans toxic

@jicalzad Ай бұрын

Seems like everyone has a "toxic" coworker these days. I don't believe i've ever considered a coworker/boss "toxic." Sure, I've worked with my fair share of annoying, and maybe lazy people. I don't know, i guess i interpret the word "toxic" differently than most. I think the word is overused by the way. Maybe viewing others as just being lazy and/or annoying would help, instead of viewing people as "toxic."

@skavihekkora5039 Ай бұрын

How you deal with a lead that doesnt document their work and communicates with single sentences or words

@rafaeldeleon3386 2 ай бұрын

An M is an upside down W, if that's any consolation.

@jkho8365 2 ай бұрын

no way u have only made 37 videos haha. i thought it was alot more

@user-yz8wt5bs4i 2 ай бұрын

Next: How to Deal with Toxic company?

@skyhappy 2 ай бұрын

you got 2 simple options: 1. bear with it 2. leave

@PaladinJenkis 2 ай бұрын

You had me at OnlyFans!

@Xammed 2 ай бұрын

Taking my Amazon online assessment today for L5 swe. Oh irony.

@alansnyder8448 2 ай бұрын

Go Blue!! Hope you are okay with this comment. I'm trying not to be toxic, just funny.

@imocha22222 22 күн бұрын

the majority of this video was not about how to deal with toxic coworkers :(

@makshat10 2 ай бұрын

Go blue haha

@trillionman2105 2 ай бұрын

"Lol this guy thinks I am running out of ideas, hahaha, don't mistake me for no loser like you bucko, I have 100 of them, you'll see now that I have more bandwidth what I'm gonna do" cit. ex Principal engineer at Amazon.