Thank god the 3rd season redeemed his character. The second season of Picard was the worst season of TV I have ever seen but somehow they managed to turn it around.

Thanks!

It's rough. But. It's real.

Exactly. I told my brother this before when he was struggling with an interaction with his ex-boss. It helped him to see that just because the interaction didn't go the way he hoped, doesn't mean he did anything wrong.

That fictional man is my guru.

interesting

I see

But you CAN control what things you install on your computer that might prevent ads.

@@eugheniymelnikov2356 Not anymore lmao

⁠@@vibe7416I definitely can see this perspective, and I would think different people derive motivation from different things, however you often hear about athletes, and especially elite ones talking about taking it one day at a time, when Dr. K says don’t focus on the outcome I don’t think he means ignore it entirely, he means you cannot immediately control whether you win a championship right this second, but you can control what you do in each and every moment leading up to the opportunity and during it to try to achieve the end goal.

What is with this generation and its vulnerability fetish

@@blessedowoboi It's not a fetish. It is maybe one of the first generations which is really showing what all the other gens were just hiding (which made them sick and their environment with them). This is about mental health... this is why we watch Dr. K. It isn't so hard to understand.

​@@blessedowoboi when people admit what makes them vulnerable so we can fix it and in turn everyone becomes invulnerable, that's pretty hot.

@@blessedowoboi Because it means you are where you are and dare to be ok with it.

@@blessedowoboi Because it feels like everyone in the world is constantly hiding from themselves and hiding from others. We've been taught to care more about how we're perceived than how we are living and how we exist. Vulnerability breaks that and offers us a chance to have a deeper connection with each other that extends far beyond worrying about how they see us.

Christians lifted that from the Stoic philosophers who came before them.

@@DrumWild Probably. Most successful religions take from philosophies and faiths that came before them and ones they encounter while spreading.

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."

Oh yes, the serenity prayer… this one is very near and dear to me. This is the reason why I’ve thought that in modern day society everyone could benefit off some peer-to-peer recovery program that is free and easy to access. I feel like having these programs available to everyone (not just addicts) would also make us kinder and more empathetic as human beings.

@@DrumWild yep. My dad isn’t religious but after becoming sober he read some stoicism texts and now helps recovering alcoholics out with a message very similar to what op posted. And fun fact, Epictetus’ Discourses was a book regularly used in and approved by Christian orthodox churches in the past.

Charismatic?

@@rohanking12able charismatic as in full of life, energy and hope for the future.

@@ze_kangz932 ah. I didn't know that was a use for charismatic

@@rohanking12able We learn something new errday:) Have a nice day

​@@rohanking12ableit isn't though.

Perfectly said. I feel the same way

same happened to me too! I got very attached to women I knew who were good friends but weren't good matches romantically, and then had a weird run-in with a stranger who showed interest but just wanted money. after that I gave up on dating and spent that time writing and hanging with friends instead. my future long term GF was drawn to me because of how I acted when I wasn't in "desperately trying to hold your attention" mode and I've been with her for years.

@@xXx_Regulus_xXx Almost the exact same for me, although, I'm not exactly at the best point in my life right now- I'm actually watching these videos because I sort of lost my love- For now anyways- We met long distance and had a solid relationship for 2 years, and were even talking about meeting in person, moving in together, and marriage, but she always had a very toxic and mentally abusive family that she wanted to get away from to try and get better, which is why we made plans to officially close the distance last September. Unfortunately things didn't go as planned, her family made her cut ties with me before she could move, and there was even a few months where they didn't allow her to contact anyone outside of her family at all so we didn't even know if she was safe. We got the police involved but- I won't get into all the details, but effectively, we were able to confirm she was at least physically safe, and allow her to reconnect with her old friend group to some degree, but whatever happened before that, even her own friends suspect that they threatened me in some way, so she still hasn't reestablished communication with me, despite showing signs that she wants to. That's why I'm here now, I know she'd want me to do the best I could even if I don't have her around, and I'm trying to focus on what I can do rather than lingering over what I can't. I still have hope, but it's been close to a year, and I know realistically I can't stop life from moving forward while I want to go back to the past. She wouldn't want that for me either, and I wouldn't want that for her. So yeah, sorry if that's a lot, but I figured I'd share more of my story for any good that it might do someone. Plus I'm curious about the people in this community. I've only watched a handful of videos and shorts from this channel, but what I have watched has helped to either solidify some thoughts I've been having for a while, or recontextualize what I've been through in the past, as well as help me find more practical ways of living. Who knows, maybe the world's sense of irony will bring that person back in my life when we've both just been doing what we can and not worrying about what we can't, like how we first met. Of course, I can't count on that, the process is what I need to focus on, not the result I might want. But it would be one hell of an "I called it" moment if exactly that thing happened. XD In fact if I can't control IF it happens, I will plant that seed that IF it does, I'm definitely saving this video so I can come back when/if that happens and share that too, because why not plant the set up for a punchline that's over a year in the making that might not happen? XD If it sticks, it'll be the funniest shit ever, and if it doesn't, well, not all seeds grow to their full potential- But I might as well play the odds.

I’m not searching, not bad looking, really smart, but have not had the fortune of finding that person yet. I think it’s because I’m just an unusual person, hard to relate to.

same the time i met my lovely boi was when i had no interest in dating

Yeah that doesn’t work for everyone. I gave up 10 years ago and still have nothing

I wish you well mate. Hang in there

Wish you strength 💪

I wish you strength

I’ve been there. Finding something I could do every week and going no matter how I felt made a big difference for me. I went from dancing tango with senior citizens to becoming a dance teacher to reuniting with my first love (in a non-romantic way) to have 3-4 dates a week. I definitely could have prioritized good friendships more.

One step at a time. I'm proud of you for seeking help. Maybe the therapist can help refer you to lower/no cost options who are accepting new patients. If not, good luck and I hope things work out for you. ❤️

I very much feel the same way. I'm going through the exact same thing. I want to do better, but I'm so apathetic, I can't muster the effort. I have nothing to aspire or contribute to. I do not love the society we've created. Every day feels like a slog.

I've had this feeling since forever and probably will never go away. The only thing that keeps me going in life is that I hate the idea of losing more than anything and want to see how far I can win in this unfair reality just to get that sense of self-satisfaction.

Kinda scary so many people are like this

The exact same thing for me too. I wonder what dr. K would say to those who applied to med school three, four, six times and never got in and eventually lost hope. His talent and more importantly effort was eventually validated, he found a job where he can help people every day, something he clearly cares about. Even if you are aware that you can't control the outcomes of your actions, it still becomes more and more difficult to keep trying after every failure and somehow hope there will be a different result. What can we who never succeeded in the first place tell to ourselves in an attempt to motivate ourselves to keep trying, even though it has never worked before?

I feel the same and struggling with my career too. I don’t want to work in this same industry because so much of it is directly negatively hurting people and I can’t find anything that feels good or meaningful even if a lot of bad still exists. But I don’t know what else to do. I don’t know what I’m even literally and figuratively working towards. I kinda did for a while but even then. I don’t really want anything in or from life. I don’t particularly enjoy anything and never really have. I don’t even remember the last time I laughed really hard. Nor do I know what would induce laughter. I think my dog is the only thing that allows me to maintain this state….but she’ll be gone in a few years if I’m lucky…

@sibyloftexas This reminds me of a comic picture I've seen once: A guy's standing on a field of flowers with an expression of blissful idiocy on his face. From that field, there's a spiral staircase going up that entirely consists of books. The stairs lead straight into a dark cloud. A second guy's standing on that staircase, looking very depressed and hopeless. But the stairs continue and finally reach beyond the dark cloud. At its end, there's a third guy. As he feels the sun on his face, his expression shows complete acceptance, inner peace and wisdom. I wasn't able to ever find that comic again. But it left a deep impression on me, to the point where I told myself that if I was ever going to get a tattoo, it'd be some interpretation of this comic.

@@davloe that's beautiful. I love that. Maybe you can hire a tattoo artist to draw it for you and see if you like it.

Damb, that might be me. Thanks for the recommendation.

Fascinating. Thank you for sharing! ❤

Thank you.

"endless despair at your fingertips" is such a terrifying yet beautiful way to put it

Exactly I realized this years ago. It contributes to how divided politics are now because someone on one side may be vitriolic to someone voting on the opposing side because of a specific issue that the opposing person probably doesnt know about at all. Its impossible to know everything thats happening, let alone staying mentally well whilst doing so.

Also our phones and PCs trick us into thinking we wield a shit ton of control over things, because we can experience such wildly different emotions at the push of a button. We can control what people say to us (like choosing which videos to watch) because it's a parasocial interaction, so that mindset doesn't translate into real life where action and reaction is unpredictable.

Detachment is an artform these days.

Ten days later, have you worked on that hopelessness? Not trying to put pressure by demanding results, just making sure you start trying, even in small ways.

@Marcotonio yes i have actually. today i've actually decided on taking it easy on myself, to let go, and basically to allow myself to be human since i have not been doing that at all this past weeks

@@obuuri Nice! Wish you all the luck, and remember to acknowledge your small victories. May it eventually snowball.

@@Marcotonio thank you so much for your kind words, may it apply to you too ❤️

i know this comment has completely just ignored your story and i hope that i haven’t invalidated what you’re feeling but i really really wanted to say that i like ur name+pfp god i love avatar the last airbender

😊😊 ooo

Individuals cannot change institutional wrongs by themselves. Knowing how to fix it is one thing. It's another to have the power and influence to push that change into being. There is way too much profit in the current way, with Christian Republicans selling fear wholesale in order to control the small minds of their supporters.

I believe this is called "The subtle art of not giving a fuck" (a book by Mark Manson). You coincidently follow one of the most important principle the book mention: there can only be very few things we care about in this life. For this, I would say: keep doing what you're doing :). You're on the right path.

This exactly. The fact that a majority of people in the world correlate "Quality of Life = Self-Driven Hard-Work" really shows how struggles are diminished. Anyone who has a poor quality of life are directly blamed for their own faults, regardless of how hard they work to keep themselves above water. The absolute lack of compassion nowadays is scary.

@inplane not holding people accountable for their own failures isn't compassion.

@@mjanny6330 i don't think that was the case @inplane talked about. The thing discussed here seems to be not really about easily-avoidable failure, sometimes people are just dealt with bad hands. It's not specifically about holding accountability as well, seems like it was not about doing mistakes that harms others, it's simply not being as sucessful as others. It's not even about compassion, it's about respecting each other decently, regardless their level of hustling.

@@mjanny6330 You do realize "failures" is a very subjective term. We all see challenges with different difficulty. E.g. I find working out everyday to be very easy because I'm self-motivated. For others, it's difficult to even sign up for a gym. I can call these people "failures" because going to the gym is super easy IMO. Just do it. However, I understand the struggles of others and just because it's easy for me doesn't mean it's easy for them. It's honestly not hard to slip into the lives of other people for just a second, and realize their struggles are different.

I find rain to be relaxing.

It's not a bad question at all and one that I don't have an answer for. This idea of distancing yourself from expectation feels so esoteric and impractical, because it feels like something you could pull off if you weren't already in some deficit of 'security'.

I struggle with this as well, so let me try to answer as I work it out for myself. I think we can act toward creating a desired outcome, while at the same time acknowledging that a large part of that outcome is out of our control. It is natural for us to achieve things, and to want to achieve things, but while we do so we have to accept that our success is not guaranteed or really in our control beyond our own actions. It is therefore more effective and less stressful to focus on our own actions in a given situation more than the result. Our goals can guide our actions, we can observe and anticipate obstacles, and act on what we anticipate, but there will always be factors we can't control. This video in particular is emphasizing how little control we have over the circumstances in our lives. I think this is important to create understanding. I think it's important to know that you can do everything right and still fail, but that also doesn't mean we are totally powerless. We have our actions. A person searching for a job will find a better one faster if they send out more applications, dress as professionally as they can afford to, research the job beforehand, leave early to show up on time, etc. but even so, failure will always be possible because you cannot control the person who chooses who to give the job to. By acknowledging this reality, we can better choose our actions to be more effective by taking this into account. We also ease the burden of taking responsibility, or feeling personal failure or shame, for things we cannot control.

@@ChanceCardFilm While everything you said is true, acknowledging it and then continue to keep failing at everything you do doesn't remove the feelings of despair and hopelessness, at least for me. Only a success story will do that, which is reliant on the outcome and not the action.

I think that’s probably the whole point. You can take an action, make an offer, and then maybe what you hoped will happen … or not. 🙂

@@Nickulator I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling despair and hopelessness, friend. I know those feelings aren't easy to combat. I think a major point that Dr. K is trying to make here is that those feelings are coming from making hope contingent on getting a success story, rather than not having enough success stories. If we invest our emotions into forces that we have no control over, then we are at their mercy. By putting hope into your own actions, regardless of the outcome, then you're investing your energy into something you can control. Doing this can also lead to better outcomes because you're able to act more efficiently and with more resilience. I acknowledge that this isn't an easy instant fix. We can't snap our fingers and suddenly stop feeling hopeless. Failure sometimes has big consequences that will be painful no matter what. It doesn't stop the world from being an unfair and cruel place. If our happiness relies on that changing, we're only going to create more obstacles for ourselves. It will take work to change our outlook in this way. I don't know if this is helpful, but I hope you have support for whatever struggles you're going through.

Seems like that's exactly what authoritarians don't want.

The problem is that a mentally and emotionally healthy population that is properly educated cannot be adequately controlled via the wholesale of fear. Christian Republicans have fought hard to get things where they are now, for at least the past 50 years. I'm 58 and have seen it all in action. All of these problems we have now will get better once Christian Republicans are removed from power and not allowed to drive the things that are of great concern in this video.

People need to be educated on media literacy. Being able to think critically about news and media you are consuming goes a long way to combating propaganda aka influential rhetoric. It would also benefit the population if more people were able to understand and identify logical fallacies propagandists use in their flimsy illogically consistent arguments. If you are able to identify how and when people are manipulating language, controlling the narrative, how they use fear-mongering and outrage baiting to influence perceptions, attitudes, and ultimately behavior it would go a long way to people being less vulnerable to state and corporate propaganda.

@@DrumWild they'll die out before then at the rate the pews are being emptied by the young

@@DrumWild r/atheist

If you relate so much to how he expresses himself, look into whether you're *gifted* or *ENTP* or both (as I believe him to be).