This is exactly where I am right now. I am determined to change and at the same time hate my older self. Thanks for providing the last straw.

I have to give him and myself time, take things seriously this time. Change ourselves.

She left me for being angry all the time. I snapped on her too many times and she finally had enough. Never realized how bad I got until the final breakup. Finally going to therapy for myself. Maybe for her if I get another chance. But mostly for me. I don’t wanna hurt her or anyone like that again

Love this video this lady no bull straight to the real point spot on comes down to what you really want pow 👍👍👍👍👍👍

Probably the best one I’ve seen yet. I will put these things to practice.

Give yourself time against the break up.... Separate and work on your flaws... Get to know yourself better and love yourself better. Stay healthy, work out, socialize, try new things in life... Vision the change for yourself, have a vision board and go from there.

Thank you for this advice i dumped my ex a year back because of my own issues with alcohol, I've never really given her any explanation but have worked on myself and become a better person . This advice will go a long way to explain my hurting from the break up

By far, the best coach out there.

Hello Susan, I stumbled upon your video while searching for ways to get my ex back. I’m 16 and she’s 15. Her and I were dating for a year and in that year we had many beautiful moments and memories but there were also toxic moments. We were both toxic to each other at a certain point and she changed that and turned it around real quick, whereas I was taking longer. Four days ago she broke up with me and it feels like it’s for good. I hurt her a lot that day and I made her really really upset. I acknowledge what I did to her and that it’s not right and the past 4 days I’ve been working really hard on myself to change and learning more about myself and focusing on making a change. I want to say I enjoyed your video and it means a lot to me and I will follow the steps in this guide. Hopefully her and I get back together because I love her and this girl is the love of my life. I know we’re young but we had our whole life planned ahead of us together. I didn’t cheat on her but I did hurt her emotionally with words.

Excellent lesson , Susan . Its a pity that many relationships keeps failing and in a good percentage of them people know they need to apologize , change and get their partner back , but the ego or lack of confidence prevents them from doing so . I wish that your message reach many of these couples who are in the starting stage of trouble in their relationship and yet if handled properly can have a long fulfilling life ahead together . One of the best topics that you have covered due to its practicality . I am so lucky that I am able to take a leaf out of all your videos that I have watched . Thank you for being so helpful . God bless you !

She told me she doesn’t want to reconcile, even as friends. She doesn’t want anything to do with me in this life or spiritual world….ever. Any attempts of me contacting her will be ignored or something like that. Pretty much, I’m dead to her. But I miss her and I’m truly working on myself to correct my actions and beliefs, she impacted me tremendously (aka she triggered me to my core). Unfortunately, she will never know the changes I’m making. So….I believe my only option is to keep hurting, keep missing her, and keep working on myself. She was my best love. I messed it all up.

LOVE your videos Susan. I’ve learned so MUCH from this. I miss my significant other so much. I seriously have changed so much since being separated from her. Everything you said was on point. Just gotta keep on working. Working in the sense of becoming a better person everyday and hope she notices.

Thank you so much for these words. I broke her heart because I put up too many walls and in the end walked away from her because I was afraid to let her down. I even did things to make myself less desirable to her because I wanted her to have happiness without me. Even if she never comes back into my life, I am changing for the better and opening myself upTo love and be loved

I'm trustin you Susan. I fucked up and pushed her out of my life when I needed her most. I've done the online apology, I've told her I'm going to change and all we have to do now is wait till the 29. It's been painful but I am absolutely determined to make this work.

Hi Susan, thanks your videos, they are so insightful and help a lot. I've tried to find a video on how quickly feelings "should" develop/are normal to develop, but I couldn't find anything. See, I have been with my partner for 5 months now and he has told me he is not in love with me. He likes me a lot and wants to spend time with me but when he is looking inside himself he just cannot find this feeling. I however am in love with him. I am wondering therefore if I should wait or if after 5 months it should be there or it will never be. He says he can see the possibility of falling and in love with me but I am not sure what to believe.

We need to understand how important it is to save marriages..its a epidemic and its been accepted by society that you just give up and move on. Since this movement in the 80’s, 90’s and so on, it has gotten worse, but look at society and we have been seeing the results for the last 20 plus years and it’s getting worse and worse..the kids are damaged beyond belief because we lack accountability and commitment to the marriage..I hope we get it back together for the sake of the children and humanity

It is real advice without a game.

Susan winter wanna say keep doing what your doing this inspired me to get her back I subscribed ❤

I got my ex husband back

Really helped this. Currently going through this at the moment. Made a mistake when I was very drunk don’t remember anything. I turned nasty. Completely out of character for me. She’s scared and has let go. I’m fighting like hell. 😔

Watching this so I don't get played in the future

I've hurt her by being too insecure because she stared listening to my past bad stories and she was never opened. I tried to move on and she also had a side guy but she came back. But her friends told me she don't want me anymore... I've started insulting her and I got so upset. Yet her friends told her I insulted her and she thought I'm a player buy I never cheated when we were dating and she said she's not ready to be in a relationship... I LOVE HER SO MUCH... WHAT SHOULD I DO

Thank you you just comfirmed what I though. Sometimes I was mean to her and some of her friends and she tough I don't love her anymore. It's not words you say to get her buck but work you do and how you prove to her that she was wrong..

I did not appreciate and accept my gf's love and kindness. She gave me chances during the relationship to show more, to show her that I care, that I love. She said she had been hurting for so long and she can't do it anymore. She said that the door is closed and she needs me to let her go. My world has crumbled, my heart hurts, i did her wrong by not being present and appreciative. How do i fix that?

Always right on the money!

I got drunk and accused her of cheating smh.. Today makes a month since I last drank. And we just started texting last week. But she says she's not ready to see me yet.

Weve had breakups before but now is the final time…I am destroyed. 6.4 years… he said he feels like a failure and wants to work on himself

I hurt my ex by breaking up with him twice I love him still even when I broke up with him I loved him a lot. Now he plays games and acts hot and cold but he does not even know why I broke up with him it was because I felt unwanted he started treating me not as valuable once we got comfortable with each other he did not put as much effort when we first got together.

My EX dropped me cold. I don't know why. She won't return a letter, email, Facebook, or a series of phone calls. I don't know what I said or did. I have no closure now for two years. She left me in a pit of hell and not knowing what I did...……………...At this stage, all I want to know is what I did. I don't know. She "ghosted" me. It's like she ripped my heart out. In my opinion, her not replying is pure, concentrated evil on her part. I have done nothing to her that makes me deserve this. If I could know, then I could understand. But I can't know because she won't return my messages!!!

She left me cause i wasnt very communitive. I wasnt 'changing' but i tired so hard to change for her. i want her forever until we turn to dust. She thought i was hiding stuff from her on my phone and i always gave her my phone no matter the situation or whatever. I never hid anything from her... I just dont know what to do now cause i feel like i lost my other half of my heart... I want to be more open to her and anything she wants to me to change for her. i love her to death and hopfully to have her back soon.. but im never giving up on her i love her alot until the dusk blows us apart...

Susan, I'm in therapy now but I pushed someone very loving away. I feel awful but I'm rebabbing (terrible childhood and married to someone equally messed up which destroyed me in 2016). We were on good terms when I went no contact on Sunday as she needed space and was saying it's over from Thursday. I didn't push it at any time, nor ask again. I just told her I understood. We've been hugging a lot and she wanted me to stay over night after she ended it. In bed we hugged all night, almost had s3x (it was me that felt that wasn't how I wanted it to end I think), but kissed passionately a lot. Whatever happens, I really like her and we both agreed we want each other in our lives. I'll get my head right for me. The question is, with the damage I've caused, is it better to lovingly let her go and find someone that can be open and love her without my baggage. She definitely deserves happiness. I've been an emotionless idiot at times as I have been taught bad relationship habits and to be fearful of attachment. Reading Eckhart Tolle and doing Whim Hoff breathing has helped me find some warmth again, with therapy, but is it just kinder to let her go?

This really works out for me

This really work out for me

I just needed this video.

I cheated on him bcz he was being unavailable and busy often but I heartedly love him now he is gone and I'm going through very tough time...I still want him back .I tried much but nothing happened now I'm waiting for him and hoping he will come soon ❤😢

It’s been over two years since my breakup and I just found out I have adhd a month ago at 21 years old, after 3 years of horrible mental health and drug addiction battles. Since this discovery I have turned around my entire life and taken full control over my mental and physical health, never been happier or healthier, totally sober of my own choosing as well and never looking back. But she has blocked me on everything and I cannot contact her to let her know this is what derailed everything in our relationship and my own life. I’ve never been more sure that I love her more than I ever will another girl because of what we’ve been through, as each day passes now I’m sure of that. I feel helpless, what can I do? Please dear god help me.

I care & love for her more than anything but she doesnt feel the same anymore. I told her i dont want friendship, i want romance again and if she wants to come back to us then I'm always here and its her choice but I'm willing to let go and move on if i have to. I apologised for how i was via a letter and it worked for a while to bring her closer but certain triggers bring us back to breakup conservation. Were both working on ourselves for ourselves and it's changed our lives for the better but i want her to be a part of it

I didn't cheat my special person but I didn't talked to her for a long time and now everything is lost due to my mistake ,i really misses her alot 😔

Where can I find the other steps?

Please help me I have no money I'm so desperate to get my ex and children back.

Hi Susan! After briges are mended, would you recommend accepting to stay friends and see if dating/relationship can be reestablished in the future? Date others? PS Luckily, no mortal crime here. Thanks for this video. 😊😘

Yeah and if the other person has decided to jump in to a rebound, focus on you. You do the work for yourself. She isn't willing to put that work in on herself that she should. You deserve better and she will see it but too late for her.

Hello dear friend are you having relationship issues or do you need your ex back

Hi Susan. Just saw your first video and you are very good 👍 And what I needed to hear 😊 Both me and my ex have treated each other bad. He blocked me 2 weeks ago cause I was very angry 😠 my behaviour have been worse and I have treated him bad by words and he has not called me one bad word just some bad comments and has more respect and more mature in that area but not respectful that he blocked and been arrogant in calls. He is normal person and have normally lot of empathy and a very good person! We have a soul bond and I think twinflame and he felt it too. The relation was rocky because mostly I am not stabil right now but none was unfailthful but he broke up with me mainly cause of he didnt like how many I had been intimite with 😏 Its in the past so it shouldnt be a problem. For some guys it is and some not 🤔 But do you think he can change that thought by himself or need therapy for it? Or never get over it? He knew for about 2 months but didnt care or talked about it and he said he didnt even think about it and then he started talking about it? And first wanted to handle it but it became like a obsession so I actullay broke up cause I was so angry and sad he couldt let it go 😢 Do you think that is a thought and feeling he can change if he starts to miss me and really loves me? I think he is quite secure but also avoidant and I am avoidant/ anxious so he pulls away and maybe the obsession with the number of intimite partners was just a reason to break up cause we were fighting quite often? But we always solved the problem and he was never manipulate or demeaning. I have never been this needy for someone in my life and I was always the one who broke up with total 4 exes. Do you think he can let go of that thought or is that a too big deal breaker when you start to obsess about it? 🤔 And of course when I am more healthy myself with less anxiety that I also need therapy for. Thanks and everybody can feel free to comment 🙏

Id love this to be a series

I took your advice and said all I could Apologized and took responsibility. She still did not want to get back together. What are your thoughts on this?

Please make a video on how to be able to accept that they had another person in their life in the interim of the break up! He waited for me for years. I wasn't ready for a committed relationship when he was, so he moved on, and was with another woman. Now he's come calling wanting to get back together, and I know it's selfish on my part, but I don't think I can get past that visual. I feel that It's a mortal wound to my heart that I can't quite get over. But I still deeply love him. Not sure if I ever will! Thank you for all your wonderful helful videos Susan!

I know I'm the one that did the wrong thing and I so regret it so hope this helps I'll try it =/

Does accidentally not showing I care enough warrant this? The things that made him think this was taking a long time to respond to texts or not responding at all-when it didn’t 100% warrant a response. I was busy with a new job when we first met and there were a few times when I called off some hang outs. We only went on a few dates, but I’m almost 30 and I have never felt the way I did about him with anyone.

Actually i'm the one who get dumped. I'm cliking this video because it pop up in my timeline and i'm too curious how is it from the dumper perspective

How early can you apologize to them? I realize what I did wrong and am really working hard on fixing that. He said he needs space and time to himself. But I really know I can be better for him and our relationship. It’s been about a week and just reflecting on everything makes me want to make a change.

Any one with self respect would never get back with the person who hurt them

I don't want to hurt people, [action requested] point of break off break off with you and all connected persons.

After our breakup she told me that she cant commit to anyone anymore and she is a kind of women now who will end up being single. During our relationship i hurt her by fighting with her and after breakup became desperate and clingy, tried to go no contact but failed and messed up. Improving myself everyday to get her back, will she come? PLEASE PLEASE coach suggest me what i should do.🙏

Thank you. Thank you.

I caused my breakup due to insecurities thought she like my best friend just didn’t like how she’s so extra care with him than my other friends I said it around him she got upset felt embarrassed she left me. And doesn’t wanna speak to me. She was hands down the best I’ve ever experienced with a woman. Even tho she still was in deep contact with her that I accepted now she’s out with other guys bringing to da club meeting everyone I feel like I never mattered seem like woman enjoy there options while we are lonely tryn to heal but they out living the best life how can they heal think of you when they out with all the distractions I don’t know what to do can’t believe I’m even hear sending this which further shows how messed up in da head I am. Im definitely now doing well sucks 😫

I have hurt her emotionally and she says she has no more feelings for me. I was not the man I should have been for her. We have a two year old and I love our family so much. Them being away is crushing me I need help and will try to give her the space she needs. I want my family back with all my heart.

This is so helpful. Me ex bf has left me although I know he loves me a lot. He was tired of some things I was doing over and over including social media ect. I am working towards getting him back with changing things.

She tells me that I chose someone else that I live at and all her things had got taken or give away because she never had come back for it she wanted me to leave the only place that I had to live because she had told me that I can't live with her

I really miss him i need help after our relationship fall apart I am delermind to back with him no matter what

Me and my ex we broke up in December 2020 and I’m trying to get her back and she’s always saying that she’s not really for a relationship and I’m going crazy over her I can’t move on with my life im trying my best to get her back and she wouldn’t

This happend with me it was the most confusing thing in the world because we got along perfect two years she became emoyionally distant and said she wants time to think we both hurt each other sabotage each other she was very angry when. Not seeing but was happy the other day she said sje wants too kill herself and i havent heard from her i am very worried and love her it makes mo sense she was happy with me and angry away from me i don't get this

If they're dating someone now relatively close to the end of the relationship after i hurt them (infidelity) does this method still apply?

Thank you Susan, but I don't believe I can do it 😅

Just said something that did come out right.

may i ask how much time of the seperation it should be..?

Hello my name rosana, how are you. I have a question. Do you think we will come back after he gotten tired of me of saying I’m going to change but never did. He told me he will never come back to me but I’m not sure if it’s turn or not. PLEASE HELP ME

My relationship of 4 years ended 1.5 years ago. I pushed away my ex boyfriend for the end part of our relationship, because I was changing a lot as a person. This is why it ended. In the last year, I have grown a lot, been through hardships and learnt life lessons. I want to ask my ex if we can give things another shot, and apologise for my mistake in ending things with him, and show him I have changed. But we are not in contact over the last few months, and he is not responsive to me on text. I don't know if he will agree or not, but I really want to say all this to him. How do I approach this?

I lost everything i was angry i was the soul provider. I lost a 40 year relationship. I am devasteted. Please help me

should i reach out to wish her a happy birthday next month if this video describesmy ex and our relationship? or should i stay in no contact and let her miss me?

What if you said something really bad that you didn’t mean and was said out of fear and anger and pain. Something In regards to their relationship with their Mom. Mom is in Heaven by the way. She’s blocked for the last month. She will not speak to me. I was incessant with texts and emails. I’ve written letters, all your classic rookie moves. She refuses to talk to me. So how do I get her back? Other than by force I have no way in to make contact.

But how will they know you've changed if you've broken up and in no contact?

I didn't do the hurting but was just curious on what is said here.

I told mine some hurtful words I didn't mean

I've never cheat on here or anything. She cheated and I lost a lot of money at the time. All that got me drinking and I become very addictive. She never wanted to change and I love so much. She came to me but anytime she dose something bad I get very mad when I drink and beat her up. Now she's gone again and I don't know what to do.. I do love her so much..

You are amazing but your right

So how is it proven if there is no contact between you and your lover.

It's hurts cause he comes around I cant afford treatment lm welling to do whatever l have two teenagers at home l really don't let no one know the pain lm going through l try 🙏

Susan how bout if you need time to heal and the ex too. but you still live togheter and you got kids. how do you give time and space?

my ex said "take care of yourself " does it mean he is leaving me ?

thank you i just started to type this as soon as i just whacked this what it you to afraid to ask her becase you dont want to be embarrassing

Please get back with me before it's too late I don't want to lose her she is my love of my life

Hello my name is rosana, I have a question. You think he will come back after I miss treated him for a very long time, also when we ended on the bad path

I broke a guy heart and i didnt give me a chance i didnt know how much he loved me so ....help and im 16

This really work out for me

She is so right

I left her, not because I left feelings but I listened to the wrong people and broke up with her believing she was using me. But now that I think about it she really loved me and I still love her, I just don't know what to do

🤯👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽Perfect

How much time do you recommend?

He can also help you

Thank you.

If only it were that simple. Girls shut it off and that’s that. I didn’t cheat. Or lie. No addictions. Nothing.

I have question. My bf broke up with me for a few reasons that were going on (no cheating or anything like that). But I did hurt him. He made it clear not to contact him again but I’ve tried to show him I’m going to change and he wasn’t really responding. He wanted to see certain things changed but don’t know how he would see that if we weren’t together! so there has been no contact. I’m not sure what else to do to show him if he’s not in my life! Idk how to get him back. And you said to let them go “shopping” but what if they fall for someone else??

I never cheated but I said I did and I really did stop doing drugs and she won’t text me back and I keep pouring my heart out but she doesn’t want me I’m stuck and I don’t want to lose her forever it hurts so bad to think of a life without her

Hello Susan I have made the mistake of assuming that my Long distance ex had used me I fucked up and I pushed her away to another man and she has started to catch feelings towards him and idk what to do she is christian you see and if she gets pregnant or married then I would have already lost my chance to prove to her that I love her and I would start my life with her how I acted was unlike me at all

What if even after you change they dont want you

She broke up with me and for a week I became a monster. I hurt more and after a month I reach out and she says: I ruined her and us. How do I bring honor and rebuild trust and her heart to be with me again?

Susan how long does it take to regain a friends trust with boundary issues specially a woman

I've done both gambling and weed broke her down got our own home she give me another said I would quit but didn't now she taking my kid and going we been together 16 year and it's killed me worst thing is I've just stopped cold turkey no help now am onto my 4th week off gambling and just over 3 weeks off the weed funny how u just change ur mind to summit else but they not gunna believe me now no one does I will have to wait moths for clean test and hopefully running house on me own shows her but AV done some nasty shit think this could b over now tho but I will never go bk to any of that shit again

How do you get ur ex if you hurt her before,and she gets revenge to u,try to stop fighting with her