In what ways do you meet new people? I made a list of 50 ways to meet new people here: www.scienceofpeople.com/meet-people/. Let's add to it!

1. Walk your dog - people talk to people walking a dog. People aren't nervous about saying something about a dog's appearance. 2. Go to the gym - I've made friends on the neighboring elliptical and in a yoga class. 3. Go on organized hikes - I was invited to the first one by a friend made while on the elliptical next to her. 4. Go someplace where you're the different one - I made friends of all ages, taking Korean language classes at a local Korean Catholic church. I ended up going to a wedding in Seoul.

As an introvert who moved to a new city during a pandemic and forgot how to socialize 😵‍💫 this was helpful. Thank you!

I think the main key is you have to be willing to actually meet people. It is one thing to go and do these things, but you must be committed to actually calling the people and hanging out a second time

Friends require time, attention and money to do things. As you get older, you lose friends because your time gets eaten by work and then your family. Also your personality gets narrowed down when you're older, you are a little more picky with who you let into your life. The struggle in new friendship and dating is not meeting people, its meeting and maintaining relationships with quality people. You do find those ass kissers who like to know everyone and pretend they're everyone's friend but they're shallow and tend to gossip. The easiest way to make friends is actually in academic courses or like gym classes.

When I was in university, I realized 90% of my college peers and friends would move to other cities upon graduation. It's just that the town we were in didn't offer amazing job opportunities at the time. But I liked it in there and was actually hoping to make a life for myself there. So, one day I thought to myself "I should definitely start looking for like-minded people outside of university so that when my friends leave, I have someone to hang out with." And this is how I signed up for salsa classes. I had always been a huge fan of dancing; the only trouble is, I liked to dance at home. Alone. So, this was a huge step for me given that I'm an introvert. Best decision ever! To this day, I still thank myself for being this bold. I can't believe it even crossed my mind. 😆 I vividly remember that flush of excitement that struck me at the end of that first class. I'd had so much fun that I wanted to explore different styles of salsa, and then I also got into bachata which turned out to be my biggest passion. Dancing taught me a host of lessons that I will never forget. It helped me be more persistent and socially active; not to mention I managed to build physical and mental skills. By the end of the year, I had already made the acquaintance of more than 70 people outside of university. (And my goal had been to know a person or two, that's all, and then who knows...) I'm not saying I made friends with everyone but that wasn't my objective anyway. Over time, I swapped out dance clubs, so my social network expanded significantly. In the meantime, I also changed jobs, which brought more opportunities to meet new people. However, a couple of years ago, I moved to a different city where I didn’t know a single soul. Based on my previous experience, I was super confident I was going to meet new people. All I had to do was join a dance club. (My backup plan was to enroll in a language course but that didn’t pan out.) The problem is, none of the clubs I went to appealed to me. See, when I was starting out, I was a beginner with no expectations or requirements. I was happy with whatever was offered to me because there was nothing to compare. However, 9 years later, I was no longer a beginner. I knew exactly what I wanted to get from those classes. I was looking for certain traits in the instructors and I just couldn't find that thing anywhere. Instead of having fun, I was annoyed and displeased with their lack of professionalism and questionable teaching skills. My money was better spent somewhere else. It was overly disappointing and heart-breaking because not only did I not make new friends but I also didn’t get to dance with other people anymore. I couldn’t practice the lead and follow roles, which is the fundamental thing about social dance. All I could do (on my own) was footwork and spinning techniques. The funny thing is, I once went to have my hair done and the hairdresser turned out to be a hobby dancer. We ended up attending a couple of salsa parties together. But other than that, I still haven’t found a club that meets my criteria. And then the pandemic hit. Everything was all over the place, I forgot how to socialize, and I’m still trying to figure out how to lower my expectations so that I can join a course or something. It’s more than challenging to meet new people when you hit 30. You have a job and other responsibilities to take care of. Most of your friends are married now; no one has time to hang out. And you also are picky AF. I hope to be able to fight my inner demons some day.

So reassuring to hear it's normal to lose friends at 25. I lost all my friends last year as I turned 25 and I really needed to hear that.

1. Look for long lines 2. Go towards people 3. Go early and leave late 4. Graze 5. Bring the right wing person 10 places to meet new people 1. Highly specialized events 2. Book clubs 3. City tour 4. Language class 5. Trivia night 6. Dance class 7. Specific fitness class or gym 8.Volunteer work 9. Hiking or run club 10. Block parties Bonus: offer public advice or help

"What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly." -Carl Rogers

I met my boyfriend in an old cafe that is supposedly haunted. Knowing this, I turned around and let the guy behind me in line know. There was an instant connection. I told him he has kindness in his eyes and he told me that he was very drawn to me for some reason. We were together for the next four years until he passed from leukemia. I highly recommend the long lines advice.

I tried what you suggested at work today… going to where the people are.So I sat In the break room instead of eating at my desk. It worked! I got nervous and talked a lot. Tomorrow I will do a better job of asking people about themselves..Thank You

I'm going to give this a shot. I'm 52 and actually haven't had friends since I was in my early 20's. Never really cared actually. I'm about to retire and move to another country and for my wife's sake, I want to get better at this and actually make friend with people. She's actually good at it.

These are all good ideas! Somewhere strange I have met people for the music lovers: not just going to concerts, but going to the VIP of your favorite band/musician. You will meet so many people you have a lot in common with just for having the same favorite artist.

Thank you so much for this information. This is gold to me. I have asperger's syndrome and I get anxiety when approaching people, but I wouldn't mind giving an honest compliment to someone that might be in front, behind or next to me. I'm so looking forward to trying all of this.

This is all excellent advice. This has been on my mind lately. I will put these into practice!

Vanessa, just found you doing an interview with Lewis Howes and Tom Bilyeu, I’m hooked , you make it all seem very straight forward. I’m 57 and find my self with no friends, changing career due to health issues and trying to find the real me. Quite daunting but with your help will be a lot easier now. Thank you

Meet new people was a DANGEROUS advice to me, because two of them in 2 months, turned out to be criminals. You might meet great people, but you might also meet crap people, let alone serial killers. So my question is how to FILTER people?

I am someone who was very introverted and shy when I was younger. I forced myself to be sociable. I'm usually the guy who throws his arm around someone. I love people and being around them. Great video Vanessa.

I love this! Thank you for creating this content! My mahjong group chose Ikea to play one day because there are round tables there with lots of space. A woman approached our table to say that she played, too. I was the extrovert in my group so I took her phone number--and I continued to follow up with her. We've been friends for over five years now!

Awesome video! I'm sort of an extrovert so it's more often that I don't know ways to meet new people rather than the approaching and starting a conversation part. This was helpful! One I might add is at the mall or at a bar, but maybe those are too obvious. Anyway, I hope you have an amazing day whoever's reading this, and that we can all make loads of new friends.

I like her when she is speaking with so passion

It's tough meeting women friends that have their crap together. I end up being a "psychologist" for them and because they are so focused on their issues they literally don't care about me. I don't have a ton of issues so I tend to stay quiet and just listen. I am a pushover and get taken advantage of repeatedly.

Thank you Vanessa! These resonate with me: -book club -language class -dance class -specialized fitness class like cross fit, Pilates, swimming -walking/hiking, running group -block party -offering advice

The language class was a real gem 💎… definitely adding that to my routine.

Excellent points! I’m a very outgoing and social person who thought I knew it all! You showed me new spots I had never thought of!!! Thank you! I love the Ghost Tour idea! BTW, my personal BEST advice from a 56 year old man who’s lead a blessed life - Instead of looking for people who have similar interests, which is like searching for a needle in a haystack sometimes, SIMPLY GO where they are. Use your imagination of your BEST LIFE and PARTNER; What are you doing? Where are you at? NOW, go there!!! Because your future partner is already there!

Love these Vanessa!! So many I had not thought of:) Thank you for all you give to the world, your energy is contagious❤

Talking to random strangers is probably not the hard part. It's the next step in getting to the point of exchanging numbers and gauging that they actually want to hang out with you and vice versa. What do you say to somebody you'll talk to but have no intention to hang with nicely if you have to see them again in the social setting?

Hello Vanessa, have not heard from you a quite a while. A relative question on my mind, yes, how to meet new people in a fairly new city of Sydney. Think I am an ambivert and enjoy being alone as a creative, so have to make a conscious effort to get out of my own way, or comfort zone in order to meet like-minded people. Thank you, for the kind advice and grounded wisdom. Love your advice about the queues/lines. So true, remember, waiting in a queue at a nightclub for the toilet, clearly a shared human need and goal, means people's guard comes down and they are potentially more open for converse in chit chat. By the way, Vanessa, love the radiating positivity you generate through the internet. Contributing towards a conscious web 3.0. Love and light, peace and prosperity from Sydney, Australia.

This is a goldmine that I’ve been looking for all my life

Thank you so much God bless you

Another study I heard of (can’t remember the study) showed that marriage is a big contributor to why people lose friends. Which I would say people start getting married around age 25. Could marriage be a driving factor of why people lose friends?

Amazing info! Thank you 🙏🏼 My tip: Offer to tutor or teach classes 1 on 1 or in a small group (in academics, sports or hobbies), such as on Craigslist. OR: take up a 1 on 1 lesson or a group lesson.

I appreciate you taking the time to make this video. I have marked this as a favorite video.

Captivate is one of my core go to books since I understand too that not finding, building, and maintaining relationships did not serve me, not at all. Thank you so much for that book. This video was amazing too, thank you! I’m looking forward to reading your new one! Congrats! 🎉

Pandemis started and I couldn't greet people as I usually do before. Watching this video helps me a lot to gain my confidence to be comfortable around people again.

ahhhh... the meeting people at the gym is hard!! Everyone has headphones on & their music is hard core blasting...

Best, speicific concrete and easy sounding adivce that I have heard in a long time. Pick what sounds fun..... and go for it! Thanks Vanessa!

9:38 I learned to speak Spanish through Rosetta Stone and with the help of my customers at work. The customers at work were so so so super sweet when it came to helping me learn the language. Its like i was invited to a whole new world and culture, so cool. Literally the coolest thing that Ive ever done is learn to speak Spanish.

I love this. Thanks for the tips, Vanessa! I'm planning to move out of my parent's house after graduation but I'm getting scared of meeting new people (or making any friends at all). I'm hoping all will be well 🤞

FANTASTIC ADVICE - thank you! will give to students in my etiquette classes - even great idea for me since I am new to Virginia.

Wow! This is excellent tips! Thank you Vanessa!

I miss book clubs !!! I went to a good one before covid hit. Great place to meet new people !! Edited to add: ...I went to a latin music festival( highly specialized event) and before the festival , they had a dance class. I would agree that would be an awesome place to meet people. The instructor had people switching partners all through the lesson..it looked like so much fun... I have thought about starting a hiking club through meetup !! It would benefit a person in at least three ways: getting outside, getting exercise and meeting people.

Best clip on this topic I’ve seen so far. 🙏 thanks

Wow!! This video is so underrated. And living in a Latin American country, with a different culture, I can say that all of this works

Thank you, Vanessa for an excellent video. You always give the best advice.

Long Lines Is An Excellent Way & It Really Works Well. Never Thought About Other's (( Will Try )) Excellent From Start To Finish.

Word of advice find happiness within yourself meditation and activities help nowadays people are crazy focus on yourself because people hide and your life can become a nightmare

Thanks for this video. I have lost close friends over the years due to shyness and ultimately isolating. Wish me luck in finding and cultivating my community.

A lot of great ideas for meeting people. Thank you. I know you said we lose friends at the beginning (based on a study), but didn't say why. I wish to keep life-long friends. Also, there are now online chats/meetings. Not sure if we can rely on those for a true connection

Lol I use the grazing! Between the stress of my awkwardness in social settings and using food to comfort my anxiety it is a master recipe to pack on a few pounds but I can always find a way to talk to people about food

Such a great recommendation. I will definitely try specialized city tour in my own city, I am sure I will discover new spots and make new friends.

These are INCREDIBLE tips!

Lines, multiple buffet stops, niche in own city tour and suggestions from host were my favorites. Maybe a language class will make sense in the future for me too. I like the comments about dance classes. I could definitely talk more with people there

In addition to fitness and books, there are lots of other clubs that really facilitate meeting people, like astronomy, quilting, chess/checkers, etc. etc. I would also add to the hike/run club, specifically, biking clubs. It's true that you can't talk while biking, but inevitably you will need to take breaks to drink water and maybe enjoy the view, and there's your opportunity! Basically, just think of a significant interest or hobby of yours, and even if it's not traditionally thought of as being a group activity, look it up, and there is probably a club for it. And, if you absolutely _cannot_ find a club for your favourite hobby, you might just want to consider _starting_ one yourself! Of course, if you attend church, there may be group activities through your church that you don't know about, too, like picnics or hikes. If you are not well-connected at your church, it's a good idea to ask one of the officers (e.g. deacon) what activities there are that will help you connect, especially if it's a large church. As a bonus, you might find that some people at your church can help you meet new people outside of the church (such as inviting you to dinner where they also have their own neighbours over, etc.). My main problem now is that I live in the country. Basically, if I don't want to spend a lot on gas, the only way to meet new people is to deliberately try meeting the neighbours, of which there are not many. They are too far away to just wave and say "good morning!" while taking out the trash, so it's not very introvert-friendly. On the upside, there is a township picnic every year, and one of these years, we'll be able to go. But we have managed to meet a few of our neighbours, and while we need to be more proactive in fostering these relationships, it is surprisingly easy to connect with people when you make the effort. For instance, one couple is into gardening. So are we! That is the subject matter of most of our conversations. Another neighbour we met simply because we needed to borrow a utility knife. Not only did she lend us hers, but we got an open invitation to come over and use her little cellar whenever a potentially tornadic storm comes through because we live in a mobile home. We have made use of this multiple times and if you want an opportunity to chat with someone, try being stuck with them in a cellar for an hour. It works. Best advice I could ever give, though, is simply to find some way to do something kind for another, especially in a context where it isn't expected of you. Our neighbour who lent us her knife, we thanked for this favour by giving her some produce from our garden. She thanked us in turn by giving us some flowers from her garden to grow. 😀 Because even if you connect with a new person, it won't become a friendship if you don't find a way to deepen your bond! I absolutely love the volunteer one, by the way.

These are all good ideas! Thanks for this great video!

Always love to hear you Vanessa 💓 u are truly a great mentor 😍

You are awesome Vanessa! This is a great video! Thank you for posting. :)

This is pretty much on point.

I love your energy and advice Vanessa! I followed your Mindvalley class and I'm so happy for all you post here on youtube so I can continue to learn. I would like to add one : I don't have a dog to walk but apparently that is also a super effective way of meeting people. ;-)

I love this video, even though some of the things would be a bit harder to do in my country. I am a strage mix between introversion and extraversion, but when it comes to meeting new people, I am a 100% introvert. A friend recently sent me a joke saying "How introverts make friends: 10% they don`t. 90% An extrovert found them, liked them and adopted them." I could totally relate to the joke! 😄🙈 Btw. I have been going to courses, language classes and stuff my whole life, but I think I should definitely go more to hikings, excursions, stuff like that. P.S. Covid-time doesn`t really help much with going to places... 🤨

I was a late bloomer and actually had the most deep friendships when I was from about 26-36. Since that time, friendships have slowly been getting distant as friends get married, have kids, move away, etc. Now at 47, I almost feel like I'm starting over. Revisiting old friendships that fell by the wayside, making a few new friendships here and there, but overall just feeling more distant from people. These tips are great, I used to actually do some of them. It's time to reincorporate them. Thank you!

This video is a crack up! Thanks Vanessa!

I learned something. Thank you for the video. I'm going to practice some of your strategies. I really do love going to a gathering early and leaving late. 😁

It's nothing wrong with a vampire fiction book club... I've ran a community of vampire lore and roleplay in SL - Second Life - since 2006 to this day...we have hundreds of active members enjoying the RP and learning the lore about this theme... That being said, sadly in real life just meeting new people and striking out a simple pleasant conversation, especially in the US, is easy enough and your tips will definitely help... what's sad is that no one is willing to move to the next step beyond the simple chit chat and pleasantries and maybe exchange numbers... it's fine to chat then and there...but not outside that setting, whatever the setting is... But I enjoyed your video nonetheless...

You, miss, have changed the course of my life 😄

This was super helpful! I feel like I ‘lost’ some friendships in the past 2 years partly due to the pandemic and now I want to put myself out there more again. As an introvert one thing that has helped me in the past is the staying late at events tip. I always find it much easier to meet people that way because it’s less overwhelming, people seem to be more open to chat, and if you’re an introvert you also have a better excuse to leave if it gets too much haha 😅

Thank youuuu vanessa im trying to put myself out there after a long time

Thank you so much for this video ❤

Great tips! thanks for awesome knowledge

I met new people from church. And now I see them every week. :)

Thank you for the advise.

Thank you for this eye opening video.

Great video. Now I feel like I need to know what to say when I get to these places 😂 I have such a hard time with initiating conversations and small talk. Seems like the specialty type events may work well for me since there’s already a connection

Seems like my life peaked at 25 and then just kind of collapsed. Yeah I would agree like it's hard to meet people like I don't know why especially with social media which I think is really f*** things up cuz now like in the United States a lot of people are scared of meeting people in person and this was long before covid like people are just f****** cowards now. I was always somebody who would just go walk up and talk to people but now people are scared because like of mass shootings and s*** who are just like who's just random person coming out and talking to me. I really wish we could just get rid of smartphones and have our flip phones back and go back to like the early 2000s where people had raves and mosh pits and people were forced to actually talk to each other

Very good achievable advice!

You have no idea how much it helps me 😭😭😭

I love this video!! Would you be able to do one like this but meeting people during Covid or when u can’t actually go many places?

Your videos are great and useful, the only anoying thing is the mic. Thanks for sharing such valuable information :)

Thank you for this! Perfect timing as we come out of mask mandates and go into Spring. Many of us have been isolated and have lost friends who have move away. Time to meet new friends!

thank you for all the tips vanessa

Your video is FANTASTIC!

Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

It really doesn't matter if you meet new people. Just meeting new people doesn't make them your friend. A deep connection with someone you want to spend time with on a regular basis is friendship. I know people in high school that I connected with but have no relationship with now. I also have friends from high school that I have a deep connection with and crave being with. You are basically fishing. Did you catch a fish, put it in a bowl and forget about it or did you catch a fish put it in your bowl and feed it? If both of you are a fish in a bowl being fed then that is a connection. If both of you are neglected fish then that is just someone you met.

Amazing presentation and such an important thing

Vanessa, this is great advice!

Finally watched this video!!! Thank you

Meetup is a really great source to meet other people with similar interests, needs, and goals. Meetup is great!

drifted apart with almost all my friends, some even fallen out with, and I’m only 20. That’s pretty much why I’m here

Loved this!

Super great post Came across you randomly Love you!

These wre really cool and interesting. Can't wait to try some

Thank you!

Thank you very much ❤

Pets are a great way to meet people. I’m a true introvert, but even I will approach someone with a pet! If you’re a religious person (I am), church can be a good place - especially in Sunday school or in a small group.

These are some damn good ideas. Subscribed :)

It's cool listening to you.

Very good advice, Thanks

Going on a cruise is a good way to meet people from all over. I went on a cruise and I’m introverted and I tried to avoid people but some will introduce themselves without you asking lol. I had so much FUN and met so many interesting people

Awesome suggestions!

Thanks for sharing this amazing video ❤