I really like the idea that they didn't reject you, they just rejected what you presented to them. Who came up with that? Thats really strong.

When I was a kid, I was hypersensitive to rejection and what people think of me. Nowadays, I cold approach and cold call prospective dates and clients on a continual basis, facing rejection after rejection after rejection. The best way to overcome this is when you cold call or approach someone to time yourself 3 seconds and just act. Get out there and do it, the world isn't watching you, only yourself.

"The longer you live, the more you fail. Failure is the mark of a life well lived. In turn, the only way to live without failure is to be of no use to anyone. Trust me, Ive practiced”

I just love the quote from Dune 1984....'Fear is the mind-killer'.

Fear of rejection is the main thing holding me back in life right now. I've realized this lately more than ever. This video could not have been better timed.

One day, a couple years after my divorce, I thought to myself "what do I have to lose, really? and lost all fear of approaching women. Now I'm 7 years strong with an amazing woman. There was definitely a learning curve for dating after so many years of marriage, but it worked out.

One trick I use is remembering that in 100 years from now, everyone in your situation is going to be dead and no one is going to remember any of that situation. It’s kinda dark, but it takes away my anxiety because I know that none of it matters in the end.

I grew up with the usual shyness and insecurity (might also stem from being homeschooled and having few social interactions apart from my neighborhood friends), I'm also introverted so putting myself out there and being all "Hi! Hello! Can I be your friend?" was the least of my interests. Then, I don't know, something kind of broke inside me where I just felt, "F*ck it I'm tired of this. Whatever they think of me, I don't care." And somewhere along the line I grew to have this "It's their loss." and "Whatever, I'm still awesome." mindset. So interacting with people, whether I connected with them or not, held no weight to me. If I made a friend, cool. If I didn't, so what? And also, I can have fun by myself, so making friends became optional. Which apparently gave me this somewhat cool or aloof or chill image, which ended up drawing people to me instead of me chasing them. I became sort of mysterious I suppose. And the more this went on, the more confident and self-assured I became. The notion that every interaction with anyone is just 1. Optional, and 2. Can go either way and I don't care which way it goes, I'll be fine. (I might add that I also enjoy focusing on my work/activities and particularly excelling at them, so my results kind of spoke for themselves and with that, people noticed me more I guess).

Instructions were unclear. I went to a bank teller and asked for all of the money in the vault. I'm now on my 5 min prison internet allowance with extreme fear of rejection.

If you let go of the fear of rejection, by getting a lot of rejections. It doesn't matter anymore if you get rejected, if the anxiety goes away, it will be much easier to have more confidence. And therefore, get less rejected.

As a barista, please don’t come in and ask for free coffee. I promise you can find rejection acceptance practice somewhere else. 😅

I always remember this quote from somewhere, every additional no gets me closer to a yes.

This has got to be one of the most useful videos I've ever seen. I'm in door to door sales, and I signed up for Charisma University in order to help me improve my results. But on the days when I need help keeping the darkness at bay, I really needed this perspective!

This makes sense in theory, in practice it's certainly often a different story. If rejection always came in a very clear format that was easily understood and with feedback on what you did wrong, it would be a LOT easier to learn from the mistake and improve. However, many times rejection is unspoken and you're left guessing on whether you've been rejected or not, whether you did something wrong or not. Now some would argue "Just ask then" and that's true, that is an option. But after a few decades of rejection after rejection when you thought you were doing good things and needing to ask if something is wrong and what you did wrong, it becomes a habit to ask which is also a problem for many people. And when you then learn that people will literally reject you for asking if you did something wrong, you stop asking and start internalizing. So I like the advice on paper, but in practice it falls short.

I swear this channel has taken the DBT curriculum and put it into practice incredibly well!

Wow. Just WOW. I know I've been doing this but sometimes it still hurts. Watching this video liberated and empowered me more. Just seeing those celebrities and remembering that they too had to undergo such regiment of embarrassing situations made me feel already a success while being rejected. Thanks for making this video. I'm hungry for rejections now because I know that at the end of that tunnel is a pot of gold. 🤔 Ü 👍🤗😇❤️

That's actually so good! A valuable video! ✨

That only works when you do get success sometimes (girl, job, etc)... when you've had literally nothing but rejections in your life, each rejection kills even more what little hope you have left

As someone with ADHD, in which rejection usually is a sensitive area... i can confidently say that i don't fear rejection as much anymore. Of course life and age will mature you and make you more resilient to it, but it doesn't remove the fact that i and others still get rejected every now and then or often. For example: when you approach a person you find interesting or attractive, try to level with them. Be human, relatable and don't put anyone on a pedestal or have this mindset that someone's a league above you. Be expressive, passionate and interested in him or her. Get them to talk by being genuinely interested in them. Most people don't mind talking about themselves, which is a great way to get to know someone, as well as you building confidence in socializing. Just don't confuse arrogant and immature ones with sceptic people. Some scepticism toward strangers is only healthy and for safety.

This was awesome! Helped me get over some mental barriers

My recent one is applying for financial aid for the third time. I was fed up of the rejection so I just offered a compromise on my last letter. I told them I'll pay my books and this semester's tuition and offered them to just pay my tuition next semester. I basically told them meet me half way. One week later, my letter got approved and they'll reimbursed everything I spent so far. I'm really bold when I write stuff. I just have to find the way to channel that boldness when talking to someone.

Doing online business networking builds up your resistance to rejection and doing something that you are scared of regularly builds up confidence

This video is phenomenal!

They tell you all this useful stuff but really it's the endless roll of famous and beautiful actors that keeps you watching.... Mesmerised, you are powerless to switch to another video.

I really liked this one, I like them all, but sometimes you need to hear things like this.

Fear does not lead to inaction! Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, and hate leads to suffering!

Thanks!! Great advice. Much appreciated

1 in 64 is nothing. MJ said he failed 1000 times before he succeeded. Each failure is a lesson on how to get better. Nothing more nothing less.

You must be reading my mind because I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm extremely anxious rn! Thank you~

The name of the game is confidence. ❤

Thank you for sticking with the channel

The video I knew I needed and it delivered lol. Let’s get right 💪🏾

This is a very important set of information to many people out here.

I definitely could have used this video a couple of years ago. Good to learn from!

This and most other videos by this channel are pure gold!

Key to confidence: Just be confident

I don't know but my heartbeat is increasing while watching this video..

Great Advice just watching this video filled me with such energy that I needed to do just that.

Thank you, I needed to hear this. Now I'm off to talking to 100 strangers in a day, and write 100 bad novels, and record 100 bad songs, etc.

Amazing Episode ⭐⭐⭐⭐

I love this video!❤

I suffer from social anxiety. All my life I have faced rejections and unsuccessful relations with people. But I have something to tell, if I go out and face my fear of rejection, not only would it make me depressed but also it would make me realize how I am such a failure who gets rejected all my life. So its not ideal for me to face my fears when my brain doesnt allow me to let go of past😢😢😢

Can you guys make a podcast? I’ve been watching all your videos for over 5 years now and absolutely love them. I think a podcast would go over very well with your audience!

Being recently diagnosed with adhd it now makes sense to me why i have a hard time with rejection, it even has a name: rejection sensitive dysphoria. Having identified this issue i believe i can make progress by becoming more conscious and doing the work. These vids do help, thank you!

Best advice on KZfaq to improve social skills ❤

Excellent

Thanks this sounds like it might work. I've been so pissed that I get rejected for every single job opportunity and that I've been rejected by each and every single girl I have ever spoken to. Recently there's been a few times where I feel I can't go on living because of all these rejections. But it seems like this mindset might work. Thank you.

Ótimo conteúdo

Well put.

Well Done

mine is always "all this will end, I will die eventually and no one will remember after a long enough time"

The analogy of shot at goal is exquisite. Didn't know football reference can be found in this space and I like it.

Sometimes in dating a person is just not for you, or you are not for them, and that's perfectly ok...there is nothing wrong with you as a person

Great tips for entrepreneurs!

I need to go back and rewatch this just so I can absorb its information. This is a really good channel with so many insightful commentaries on social skills.

Seinfeld said it best. Love it when the girl rejects him and he says “it’s okay, I will find someone else”!

Key Moments with Headings for anyone reading this. Also for me to refer back to this video You are not the moment. 00:34 I got rejected? No. Say to self = this conversation did not go well Rejection by Andrew Garfield 01:18 You get rejected over and over until you give up or an opportunity comes your way Exceptional results 2:08 often require multiple tries. life is a numbers game. Actor goes for 1 in 64 chance before a job Money Method 3:06 give a friend you trust money. do not do the thing? keep giving them more money. Exposure Therapy 3:24 Goggins = armour for your mind. [Reminds me of Jordan Peterson to Andrew Huberman conversation: Exposure therapy works because you think I am afraid of something. If I go near it, I feel negative emotions. but this is true if you go near it accidentally. I am going near it purposefully. What you will find is, to the degree which you do it purposefully, that response will be supressed. It is extra-ordinary !!]

Thank you for spelling "faze" correctly

Day 1 I cold called was so scary and I usually have insane confidence, but after like 5 calls it became fun and I still don’t look forward but it’s easy

I think that people who stick firm to their first impressions of others are actually highly unevolved and do a significant disservice to themselves, others, and civilization as a whole. And let's be honest, first impressions are synonymous with snap judgments.

Ben, please come back to the pod. The world needs the insights you and Charlie together arrived at.

But note people that this video specifically focuses on the fear of rejection ''of the first impression''. There are different kinds of rejection that cut deeper like the rejection of a long time relationship, family, close friend. Being rejected by a person you hold in high esteem and love is very different. The appropriate reaction to that is more complicated and different charisma rules are required to handle it and deal with it emotionally. In this case, having options is insufficient because some people are irreplaceable

When life gets hard that's when you bite down on the gum shield, you get back up n you fight for your life. You don't just move forward when it's easy, you crawl forward if you have to when it's hard. That's how you grow, that's how you win. I've been in alcohol n cocaine addiction for 22 years. This ruthless opponent almost took my job, my home, my wife. I attempted suicide as I saw no way out. Now I walk the dog, workout, meditate n study stoicism every day. Now I'm 6 months free from alcohol & drugs. Now I'm thriving in work, my wife is proud of me n we're stronger than ever. Now I love myself. If you're struggling n you're reading this please know youre not alone n you can do this. You can beat your demons too, whatever they may be. You CAN do it.

SAM IS THE GOat

literally abt to ask a girl out this is what i needed

Dude.... I'm super fit and handsome as underwear model... I never get rejected. Rarely. I cannot do this as I will just create disappointment by not following up on making dates, and anxiety in myself. Yet I suffer from low self image. Isn't it ironic. Bazinga ❤

I think the only reason you can level up your charisma so fast is because most people never try to increase their charisma. If they did, it would be hard to get good at it (like most other skills). Probably an obvious point, but it astounds me how few people realize this.

Today I make a resolution to watch only your channel video for a month everyday to see change' in myself.

Epectitus said “only the educated are free” most people don’t understand education isn’t just learning history and math, it’s experience and learning to change and improve and how the world works

I can understand most words but this asking effort and focusing

All rejections do is trigger my insecurities. Repeated exposure does NOT work for me, it just reinforces.

Curious about background/edu of creators of this channel, enjoying, about to be interviewing.

I need robert California's confidence, trying to achieve that...

idk ive been happy alone and happy with other people, and 10000% its better to be happy with someone else than by yourself

Omg I already do this with driving lessons but I don’t do it to ask women out.

Shallow

Actually i don't fear rejection in many areas of life, i will try not to give up... and work on it... But i fear rejection in approaching girls and i can't accept it... so i couldn't approach them.

Or try extreme humility?

can you make a video about Jason Bateman?, I love his personality in interviews.

Rejections by others are fine, as long as we don't reject ourselves ;)

What is the name of the movie/series in 4:56?

You, reading this right now, please send me the full speech of Jordan Peterson shown in the video if you have any idea where to find it. Thank you so much

Everyone fails till they don't

I can’t remember where I’ve seen the redhead on the video cover

I love the ratio thing. Only 50% of my songs turn out good, so I make twice as many😅

If your Fear is holding you back you haven´t masterd your emotions yet. You don´t need to build confidence. Know how you are (what many people don´t), what you want and what you don´t want and then stick to it. Everything else is just playing a role to get to a certain goal but it will never be truly you, just the role you play.

What was the name of your DnD channel because i can't find it?

Please make a video on Jeffrey Dean Morgan’s personality breakdown. His charisma & humour.

"At frist you don't succeed try, try again" Robert the Bruce

This video is not bs atall

The problem I'm having with this is mostly that I don't want to go on a date with some random person I've never met before. I don't want to expand my social circle that much, and I don't want to be the one to cut off a relationship after the first date because is was practice for something else. I don't want people to find me attractive, I want one person to find me attractive.

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Crap I'm past the 8th rejection 😂 and I'm all out of options, I can somewhat carry conversations with girls I meet for the first time in public it's just that usually when I run into them it's quiet all around and there are way too many people looking

Rejection is inevitable Shame is optional

who is that actress at 3:16?

Helps if your dad is Ron Howard

@Charismaoncommand Please check on the person who cuts the clips. Louis CK twice on negative prompts (4:43, 4:49) comes across as motivated in a mean and sneaky way. I really hope that it was just by accident. Otherwise great content!

Cool😮

I’ll go to costa vida sometimes and be like “can I get this for free” they don’t know what to do so they give it to me

Aw damn I guess that first thumbnail didn't fly :D