How To Spot A Collective Narcissistic System

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11 ай бұрын

It's quite common for groups to take on strongly narcissistic traits, requiring conformity and strong loyalty. Dr. Les Carter helps you understand the nature of collective narcissism, highlighting predictable patterns they commonly emphasize. The last thing you need is to have your distinct individual traits erased.
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Dr. Les Carter is a best selling author and therapist who has semi-retired to Waco, TX. For 40+ years he maintained a counseling practice in Dallas, conducting more than 65,000 therapy sessions and many workshops and seminars. He specializes in anger management and narcissistic personality disorder.
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Пікірлер: 782

@JessicaJLandi 11 ай бұрын

Narcissists form a "mutual admiration club" where they prop up each other's delusions of grandeur and work together to groom and control steady supplies of "fawning underlings". God help anyone who "does not comply" with their "assigned role" in this group-bog.

@krisztina442 11 ай бұрын

You put it so perfectly! Anyone who 'does not comply' loses the membership in the club or in the group and becomes an enemy.

@tbunnyshy1 11 ай бұрын

Very well said 👏 It really is like this. Truth telling 🙋‍♀️ makes for an “unsteady” household.

@readygi 11 ай бұрын

this is spot on. I work at one of these snake pits and can't wait to escape. It's a business run by a narcissistic family and they demand full submission. Like everyone is terrified to be themselves and it's scary.

@sparklecanada0112 11 ай бұрын

@@krisztina442 This is especially true with a particular Religious Cult that I once belonged to and my Narcissist is a Staunch Member of still. Praise the Rank and File but Demonize those who Question or Leave.

@susannakotoff7095 11 ай бұрын

happens in churches, especially ours

@mythologic 11 ай бұрын

Have you ever, ever had a narcissist call you hateful for defending yourself and calling the narcissist out?

@markjayw666 11 ай бұрын

Yes, rage texting was her preferred method of trying to DARVO me

@kevthepoet 11 ай бұрын

Yes.

@MsMamatube 11 ай бұрын

Yes. Worse. After protecting my granddaughter from him by taking her away from his loud & scary abusive rant. I said: "You are not allowed to treat this innocent child that way!" My father said, "Well, I guess the next time I see you will be in Heaven". He then paused & added: "IF you're there, that is."

@nickieglazer7065 11 ай бұрын

If you have, and they don’t; they’re not narcissistic.

@charliet1734 11 ай бұрын

Yup. Catch her in a lie and demand the truth, hateful. Refuse to fix something at one of her friends houses when she volunteered me without even asking me first, hateful. Don’t want to take the dog out at 2 am in the rain when there’s a dog door to the back yard, hateful. Leaving the bedroom while she’s bingeing a show I can’t stand and she’s literally starting the same episode for the 4th time because she keeps falling asleep while it’s on, hateful. Pretty much any time I wasn’t all in with her agenda, hateful.

@douaa1934 11 ай бұрын

Growing up in a dysfunctional family system and looking back realizing i was right. No contact give me inner peace and JUSTICE

@tbunnyshy1 11 ай бұрын

Well done 👍 I can’t wait to accomplish that!

@anthonyleveille1 11 ай бұрын

Narcissists no contact is stalking and harassing you, desperately needing you to react then when you do react they act like they dont care

@mayliss120 11 ай бұрын

So true, no contact and therapy saved me from losing my mind 🥰

@nmc1859 11 ай бұрын

I was debating over this for a long long time. The narcissist in the family system just so happened to want everyone from the immediate family around except me (scapegoat) bc she wanted to keep her risk of getting covid low. 'Ok' 🤷‍♀️ Then she said not supposed to be around unvaccinated people 'ok' 🤷‍♀️ Then she texted me after having all boosters possible and ended up w a positive at home test but 'very glad she had all of the shts' 🤷‍♀️ I said I'm sorry to hear you are sick w covid and left it at that. She texted me 3 weeks later to say she (who has been cruel and neglectful my whole life) is so DISAPPOINTED i didn't check on her following her covid 'diagnosis'. I responded politely and left it at that. I've been discarded i guess and i am happy and at peace now. Finally free 💖

@goesfarfliesnear1447 11 ай бұрын

@@nmc1859 You're one person I'd never discard. You're bright, introspective and sensitive. I have one of these hateful and spiteful narcs in my family. Has been horrible to me my whole life. Now, as adults, I care for our elderly mother-alone-with no support from anyone but with accusations of abuse, etc. because they can't get what they want when they want it (like a hug with elderly mother during the covid quarantine prior to vaccinations, uh, NO). To make it worse, she's drafted another family member. So be it. I let them have their drama, hate, and their crap. I can't leave my mom right now but when I can, I will be gone no contact. I'm OK with it. I choose peace and kindness over hate and drama. You handled your situation perfectly and with class. Go, you! You got this. :)

@amaliaab8649 11 ай бұрын

One of the Most important subjects of our modern society...

@mythologic 11 ай бұрын

Narcissism is such a sad system of protecting vulnerability in a twisted, immoral way that everyone suffers.

@iRockwthMJ 11 ай бұрын

Well said!!

@BillyHoyle 14 күн бұрын

Well said

@fiefieviolet 16 сағат бұрын

Yes it's disgusting. Especially when they form vigilante hacker groups. It's like turds all sticking together

@emil5884 11 ай бұрын

What a strong precedence you set here, Dr. Les Carter. It takes guts to speak this message in today's world. Thank you!

@trudiecunningham5906 11 ай бұрын

Thank you Dr C. for explaining so clearly and completely.

@David-lo1fo 7 ай бұрын

Men of reason and fairness are Required to be strong and brave. But there are limitations In everything. The most important point is facing truth Both in yourself and others actions. Because actions speak louder than words.

@MBAinternetmktg 11 ай бұрын

Narcissists are good at rising to the top and collecting sycophants along the way. Excellent video!

@frankuvlkan 11 ай бұрын

Hi Toni I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this compliment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌹🌹

@jumpinjohnnyruss 5 ай бұрын

It's a contagion. What happens to contagions that don't have any cures?

@JessicaJLandi 11 ай бұрын

Narcissists seek out the superior, powerful, prestigious, top positions (or seek to get connected to the leader(s) to influence them) and then try to set the tone & rules for the rest of the group.

@LukiGames0 2 ай бұрын

Yep. Gamer Gate 2 and latest Sweet Baby Inc drama is great example how they work.

@m0L3ify 11 ай бұрын

I really could have used this video in 2011. I was so desperately trying to figure out why the narcissistic system I'd just left was the way it was and why everyone behaved they ways they always did inside of it. I did eventually figure it out, but I've never heard someone explain it so thoroughly and succinctly without once using the word "cult." Thank you.

@Rain9Quinn 11 ай бұрын

Me too. Took me nearly 40 years to walk away from an abusive religious org i kept truing to stay with (just like me narc-heavy family…) so painful. 🫶🏼

@bluestar.8938 11 ай бұрын

Indeed. Agreed : )

@paulmartin8784 11 ай бұрын

Had to laugh when I got to the end of your comment

@andreamaclachlan980 11 ай бұрын

It is cultish, though. I see it with the narcs I have had dealings with (family, ex friends etc, now no contact) Demonically cultish. And these are people who attend churches. We attend church (a different one!!) too, but as Jesus said, 'you will know them by their fruit'.

@trying2survive602 11 ай бұрын

@andreamaclachlan980 Totally!! I worked at a charity run out of a church. It was like they wanted the community to remain oppressed and not thrive. I was thinking in a different manner, which set them off. They made it really difficult for me to work there until they pushed me out. But I have to thank them for one thing, they helped me see that the same was going on in my marriage. Thank you, Dr. C, for bringing this to our attention!!❤

@margueritebaca3921 11 ай бұрын

Thank you for this priceless awareness, Dr C. I've been the whistle blower since childhood . You put words to these terrorists. I've experienced these groups in family, neighbors, corporations, churches. Takeaways- there's a dominant narcissist flanked by the insecure. I have my chosen few, Dr. C, who share kindness, fun, mutual celebration. That's my exclusive club 🎉❤

@GetUrs22 11 ай бұрын

Those "yes" men/women are their enablers, flying monkeys doing their dirty work.

@eileenb1855 11 ай бұрын

Thank you for your response. My thoughts too & I still seek out like minded souls. 😉

@majestic.feminine 11 ай бұрын

Ditto. They can take their HATE and RAGES and burry themselves with it. I refuse to participate in such corrupt coercive thinking. The flying monkeys and week-minded cowardly enablers that are silent witness to these CONTINUOUS & ONGOING VERBALLY ABUSIVE INTERACTIONS are doing nothing toward building love, kindness and a beautiful world. It’s a mockery of all that is good in life. It is a lifestyle that destroys goodness all around us. It is abhorrent mindset. I will never give into such behavior. Dr. C., I look forward to your expanding on this with solutions to this collective narcissistic system and the damage in ensues. ✨💝

@alyssaleatham8544 11 ай бұрын

I am glad to hear you call yourself a whistleblower. I call myself a havoc wreaker and it doesn't feel as good. Thank you for this comment. It will help me reframe what I am and what it is I have been doing.

@margueritebaca3921 11 ай бұрын

@@alyssaleatham8544 It does take energy pacing for the truth we see in advance, to be revealed. One National organization situation I stood up to eventually came out in an investigative report on the news. Turns out the corruption ran layers deep.

@carolinemarty1 11 ай бұрын

I live in Utah, and this fits the profile of the majority religion perfectly!

@juliadawndesigns Ай бұрын

As an ex-Mormon, I completely agree!

@pamelamoore6239 11 ай бұрын

Dr. C I don't know of any group that's not this way. It starts in childhood with clicks and clubs and three or more friends. There's always the leaders, followers and a pecking order. If you don't follow or agree the group think you're kept at a distance. It's immature, but the groups I've come across seem inclined this way. I feel people, such as yourself, are a treasure and very rare.

@Soothsayer937 11 ай бұрын

For any group, there are "insiders" and "outsiders." The key to narcissism lies in how differences are managed. For instance, if someone disagrees, is that person immediately invalidated? I think, also, some of these characteristics are intrinsic to modern society, where concepts like tolerance are given lip service, but not actuated. In reality, many people are prepared to climb all over you in their effort to establish themselves in the heirarchy. You see this in our propensity to judge people as crazy or weird based on a limited body of knowledge about the person and a generalized lack of education, in addition to the glorification of coolness and status over substance. This starts in the school years, where peer groups ridicule those who are brainy or bookish. This has led to an abundance of uninformed ignorance due to a disdain for cognitive development. People base their lives on opinion (emotional) rather than fact (logical).

@SurvivingNarcissism 11 ай бұрын

What you say is sad, but it echoes what so many others experience too.

@marcellamiller7808 11 ай бұрын

You’re right ! That’s why now I prefer not being a part of any ‘group’. I have relationships with a limited about of individuals that’s it. .I March to the beat of my own drum . I don’t want to follow the ‘rules’ of the group .

@SirThinks2Much 11 ай бұрын

@@Soothsayer937 "the key lies in how differences are managed" yes! It takes a lot of effort and maturity from everyone in a group to keep it from developing unhealthy, one-sided dynamics and practicing what they preach. In one "click" I'm in, we had to collectively agree to kicking a toxic person out, because they were trying to establish a hierarchy where we were all their fawning followers. When we weren't being worshipful enough, regardless of how often we supported them (emotionally, financially AND physically), this individual would try to turn us against each other thru lies and playing the victim, masking their envy with inclusive language and/or playing dumb. However the rest of us decided as a group that this behavior, once identified, was antithetical to the collaborative spirit the group had originated with. Now that we've barred that toxic individual from returning, we're all much healthier both as a group and in our personal lives. But this isn't always the case. Like I said at the beginning, it takes a lot of work to maintain and humility to stay accountable. And we were lucky that it was just one toxic person while the rest of us had integrity.

@Soothsayer937 11 ай бұрын

@@SirThinks2Much This person was fortunate to have such a supportive group that would help them in so many ways. I think it can be difficult to identify unwanted behaviors from within a clique of close friends, especially with covert narcissism. Things start small and can be tough to pinpoint. It's amazing how a dynamic shifts once a toxic person leaves a situation.

@sherribatts8296 11 ай бұрын

Amen! Years later I realized I was a member of a collective narcissistic religious organization. So much narcissism in the church. I pray members wake up🤦🏽‍♀️

@frankuvlkan 11 ай бұрын

Hi Sherri I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this compliment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌹🌹

@texasrefugee7888 11 ай бұрын

Yes, every church i ever went to

@randy_cbc8811 15 күн бұрын

That's sad, you must not have gone to a healthy New Covenant, Evangelical Church: they do exist, there are plenty good churches that are not like this. I feel for you, brother (or sister), if this has been your sad experience. Definitely not what our Lord (Jesus) intended for his Church to be.

@yvonnebond9795 11 ай бұрын

A very clear description and definition of cults.

@calgreg2569 11 ай бұрын

Yes yes and yes. It starts in the family, subconsciously you seek/attract it to you, they recognize it of you.. until you learn/know.. you are at the bottom of the narcissist dung heap..

@tbunnyshy1 11 ай бұрын

🎯

@sheilajac 11 ай бұрын

sometimes even when you learn/know, the still stalk you despite your best efforts to avoid/grey rock them.

@calgreg2569 11 ай бұрын

@@sheilajac I’ve always experienced that once they have you, you belong to them forever, always the same dynamic.. the only way to get them out of your life is to go no contact..

@janetpattison8474 11 ай бұрын

“Bottom of the dung heap”, That’s pretty funny. Lol and absolutely, I attract narcs, People who get off on controlling me with ghosting and anger. Why, oh why has it taken Me so long to figure all this out?

@janetpattison8474 11 ай бұрын

@@calgreg2569OW! I needed to hear your comment, “once they have you”, I kid myself they they’ve changed. The collective has secrets , & Ghost me all the time.. & stick their noses in my business even when I tell them to butt out, and more. It never f-ing ends.

@williamlindner3984 11 ай бұрын

I dealt with a work situation like this for many years. I wish I would have heard this explanation years ago. When you are on a job that requires technical skills, and you can consistently beat the narcissistic community with your skills ,you will find out what on the job animosity is ... The only cure for this is self employment in many cases . You just have to get out , trouble is, you will soon find the same situation in an another job.

@saltlightandjoyministries4138 11 ай бұрын

Churches and cults can fit into the description of being a narcissistic system. The good thing is once we can recognize narcissistic patterns, there is no more going back to sleep on this issue!

@Dj.D25 11 ай бұрын

Certain denominations or sub groups of denominations I noticed have those standards. For example, I have a strong feeling King James Onlyists are mostly narcissistic. Even though many of their teachings I do think more churches should preach about, many beliefs and attitudes of theirs look very cult like.

@saltlightandjoyministries4138 11 ай бұрын

@@Dj.D25 I disagree about people preferring one translation of the Bible over another showing narcissism. I'm an empath and while I enjoy different translations of the Bible, I have a particular love of the KJV.

@Dj.D25 11 ай бұрын

@@saltlightandjoyministries4138 Nothing wrong with enjoying some translations over others though certain translations are questionable. KJV Onlyists I noticed try to make you feel you’re not getting the most out of being a Christian by reading other bibles. They act like they are the only real Christian’s around. Yet many are so arrogant. Most of the pastors have anger issues and are very sarcastic in their preaching.

@saltlightandjoyministries4138 11 ай бұрын

@@Dj.D25 we can agree to disagree, than. I try not to paint any group with such a broad brush.

@frankuvlkan 11 ай бұрын

@@saltlightandjoyministries4138 Hi Dear I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this compliment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌹🌹

@AnnmarieKeim-vw7ll 11 ай бұрын

This is so very true. I experienced it first with my family narcissists who became leaders in a small, isolated community. It was raw delusion over reality. It was so hard for me to believe that people would go along with this. And again we are seeing this on the world stage. It is so important to stay anchored in reality and truth even though narcissists have their alternative realities.

@demox_yt8386 11 ай бұрын

What do you mean we are seeing this at world stage? I'd really like your explanation on this one,even though I have a general idea what u might think bt I'd like to clear it out

@doppelganger8329 11 ай бұрын

I understand what you are saying Annmarie. 8:20 I have family narcissists who like to intimidate the people in their small community.

@melissadeloach8503 11 ай бұрын

@@demox_yt8386I suspect your general idea is correct. To me, there is an anti-God movement. Can't get much more narcisstic than that. I think she may be referring to the over the top Pride stances this month. I know that a lot of LGB are not on board with it at all. But some people have declared moral superiority over the normies even though they are completely without morals. Hope this helps till Ann Marie can respond.

@doppelganger8329 11 ай бұрын

In my " family" that is rural and domineering of anyone that they fear.

@AnnmarieKeim-vw7ll 11 ай бұрын

@@demox_yt8386 What I mean by world stage is politics and government. And also recent political news.

@kdevinturner8778 11 ай бұрын

When marc mom was dying it was a garbage day Wednesday. I was screamed at by the collective for wanting to put garbage out on the street. They all, dear old mom, my narc brother, and sister in-law included, screamed at me, literally, and said it was recycling day only. Didn't make any sense. I went outside and did some light research. Sure enough, there were other garbage containers on the street. I put the garbage container, and recycle container, on the street and returned them to garage when they were emptied later that day. Never heard a word from the collective. It was a crazy making three weeks of hell for me. I never knew people could be so ignorant, hostile, and cruel. Now I do. One of too many head scratchers at that time. I am still scratching my head. Hard to deal with. There is no honor with narcissists. Dehumanizing experience.

@lordfreerealestate8302 11 ай бұрын

Tribe gaslighting, scapegoating, and flying monkeys definitely connect with a lot of this.

@rochellet1333 11 ай бұрын

You are right above the target. These people are so very sick!

@pdkonkol 11 ай бұрын

I had never thought of insecurity as one of the reasons why people join collective narcissistic groups, but it fits well with my experience of joining a couple of them. These groups promise security and belonging but once inside they threaten expulsion for any wrong move.

@innominategamer5511 11 ай бұрын

The public school district I worked for as a supervisor was like this. Unfortunately for me the "head narcissist" was one of my direct reports. She made it clear from day one that she didn't like having a 35 year old woman as her boss (she was older) and she wasn't going to listen to me. I tried to hold her accountable for her poor behavior and sent her to HR for a verbal warning one time after she got angry and threw a brownie at me. She responded by accusing me of sexual harassment (completely false accusation with no real evidence). She made up an entire narrative about me and all of her flying monkeys somehow believed it. Not only did she get me fired but I was publicly shamed and my reputation was smeared throughout the District. I had to hire an attorney and it turned into an awful legal battle where my attorney negotiated it into a resignation with a settlement. This happened last fall and I am still having difficulty finding a job because I now look like a red flag to employers for having to leave so abruptly after only being there for six months and with no references from the District. Oh and of course...after I was fired they promoted her into a management position that she had no qualifications for.

@mikediamond353 11 ай бұрын

But she WAS qualified. To promote Trans-Genderism.

@gladiammgtow4092 11 ай бұрын

I refuse to work with women as a MGTOW.

@time2bherenow 11 ай бұрын

Are in medicine? Sounds typical for that type of work. I’m sorry you experienced this. I truly hope you grow & heal & realize you had better things to do & a better place to be. Best wishes.

@brg2743 11 ай бұрын

Sure they did. I totally get it. A lot of narcissm in education. Beyond belief.

@MB-sg8dx 11 ай бұрын

How terrible. Im so sorry. May God bless you and give you a bright future wherein this horrific experience becomes a source of wisdom, insight and strength for you.

@gilejoksimovic3168 11 ай бұрын

Collective Narcissistic Systems' indicators: 1. Strong emphasis on authority 2. Group think overrides reason 3. Inflated sense of exclusivity 4. Highly sensitive to criticism 5. Many unspoken rules 6. The adherences to the system are afraid to become too independent 7. Raw, delusional thinking

@derwoodhamburger 11 ай бұрын

Western governments have ticked all these boxes over the past 3 years during the pandemic

@mearis8133 10 ай бұрын

While dating, my covert narcissist husband would tell me "either you're all in or all out". Either you're inside the circle or you're not. His mother would say things like "We would tell the kids you don't start stuff, but you finish it." At family gatherings, the entire family would gossip about everyone they knew or even those they didn't know. Once he discarded me, it was clear I was outside the circle. Not one person from his family has contacted me.

@michelepascoe6068 11 ай бұрын

"Don't upset your mother." This is more important than any idea you might have, and you are to suck up humiliation and anything she says about you or others that you might disagree with. We do it her way at her home and at yours! It's like a cult.

@bubblebutt64 9 ай бұрын

My dad tells me that I need to get on the program

@Judygurl2 11 ай бұрын

I recently saw a powerful example of this: A mother (the leader) and her adult children showed up to her son's wedding, all dressed in black. They were mourning the loss of him from their family. Bizarre!

@Buster-im5so 11 ай бұрын

I just want to give Dr. Carter a high-five and a hug. I learned to roll with a narcissistic venue for years. And it made me mentally and physically sick. These folk he's talking about speaks to church leaders and the tools they use to justify and condemn us without offering an effective solution!!! This 'video' shows me that it happens in other fields as well. I love myself a little bit more Dr. Carter. We're unique and eager to learn from those who work things out differently than I may think. Okay, Thanks.............

@sharontalley2155 11 ай бұрын

You are so right Dr. Carter. That is exactly what I went through with my family. The head narcissist (my son's wife) was the leader. She trained and brainwashed the rest of the family to think and behave just as she does. Everybody but me. I saw firsthand what they were doing but no one would listen to me. I'm alone now, they moved out, so I had to pay the price to keep my sanity and sense of worth. It's been a battle and it hasn't been easy, and I miss my family, but I don't miss all the drama and hate and bullying.

@steviecrow914 11 ай бұрын

You’re describing my challenges working inside the banking industry.

@laurakhaydon 6 ай бұрын

This absolutely hits the nail on the head. Narcissism is systemic, it can't do its stuff without loyal supporters and people to triangulate. I've seen this in families, workplaces, friend groups, you name it. Thank you for this video!

@flightydancer 11 ай бұрын

In a way, they can turn some beautiful thing, such as lifestyle practice, compassionate diet, beliefs and love into something so demeaning, damaging, hurtful and ugly. At the end, you end up a shell of yourself within the superficial perfection.

@jazdtildawn 10 ай бұрын

Collective Narcissism involves about 70-75% or more communal narcissists who profess a surface image of diversity. They get energy from the authenticity and hard work of a few people who strive for what the collective group claims to care about. The boundaries of the authentic folks are constantly overstepped and violated.

@Snow-wz6eu 9 күн бұрын

AA, NA, CA....etc.

@danielaselberg1810 11 ай бұрын

Thank you for explaining the "un - understandable" why people seem to adore public narcissistic figures and sick systems. Too bad, there seems to be no cure, but complete disaster. Only when everything went down the drain they get the insight. It's so sad!

@frankuvlkan 11 ай бұрын

Hi Daniela I hope my comment didn't sound as a form of privacy invasion your comment tells of a wonderful woman with a beautiful heart which led me to comment I don't normally write in the comment section but I think you deserve this compliment. If you don’t mind can we be friends? Thanks God bless you….🌹🌹

@compassionandwisdom4311 11 ай бұрын

Wow the political implications of this lecture from Les are astounding.Thank you once again for shedding light on such systems of pain and anger. Your channel is really enlightening.

@SurvivingNarcissism 11 ай бұрын

Pleased!

@hchayes9431 11 ай бұрын

I have noticed that if you tell a narcissistic person "No, you don't want to join ". They become angry, even if it is subtle...

@kennethvanneste1558 9 ай бұрын

My Narcissistic Family is down at the beach pounding sand. Get Boundaries- Get Free If boundaries are broken go no contact: It Is Wonderful!!!!!

@alyssaleatham8544 11 ай бұрын

My family, the family of my children's father, the neighbors and manager and maintenance man in the park where we live. It is nearly impossible for me to not be attacked for trying to do the right thing on any given day. They all circle around and bare their teeth when threatened by someone who just wants to live by the Golden Rule. It is nearly impossible to survive in this. But I have children so, I keep trying. Anyone here reading this, I understand if you feel surrounded and I know it is hard. Don't give up. There are more of us than there are of them and like snakes they are more afraid of us. I'm here and so are my children, aware and proud of all of us even if you can't see me 💛

@pennylanghorn6712 11 ай бұрын

I had the misfortune of belonging to a Tae Kwon Do class whereby the so called teacher was a narcissist And he was creating a collective narcissistic system within the class The teacher was really very insecure on thinking back He was horrible I was so glad to get out of that awful environment

@SurvivingNarcissism 11 ай бұрын

I'm glad you were able to see it!

@paulschneweis3492 11 ай бұрын

This sounds much like the business where I am employed - and I am the lowest man on the totem pole whom management and other influential employees falsely accuse of being lazy and disloyal even after all of the proven hard work and loyalty I have done for them! Thank GOD and you for this righteously enlightening video!

@Yellow-oc4sl 11 ай бұрын

I would find another job with better work environment it's makes a difference when the work environment is supposed to be non narcissistic , good luck to you

@gableyoung2304 11 ай бұрын

This is what I encountered. I married into a narcissistic law family. I thought they were joking when they told me about the family rules. I was told that I was supposed to go to church with the women in the family (even though I had a church that I was attending). I was told who I was supposed to vote for etc., etc. I did not follow their rules which put me out of the family circle. Later I found that the family had narcissistic friends who they had shell companies with, so that they could hide from taxes. They pretend to be an upright family and they are anything but. I am free now and very thankful to be out of that toxic system.

@jennifer1947 11 ай бұрын

This EXACTLY describes my former work environment at a senior living facility. I feel bad for the remaining employees (not shocking that there's high turnover) but extremely bad for the residents!!! It is heart-wrenching!!!

@joebaker3074 11 ай бұрын

I've noted this phenomenen. These toxic types seek similar others so they avoid challenges and enjoy back-slaping one another. The problem for victims (survivors like me) is that everyone I was in contact with seemed to agree with my disordered wife, who had isolated me from me from my family and friends. Another reason it took me so long to see reality.

@lambchop6278 11 ай бұрын

Sounds harsh. Definitely gather a new tribe for yourself. I do a narc recovery program where I get a sense of belonging even though it's online. And I spend time doing the exercises and journaling, which is giving oneself company! But there are also other groups as well, whether support groups or general interest groups. I joined a few in the past when I needed them. It helped.

@theguaable 11 ай бұрын

Yep people often side with the narcissists for various reasons: fear, brainwashing, social pressures, also the fact that the current victims are dysregulated and unhappy while the narcissists are smug and self-satsfied. Then the victims leave and new victims have to be found, whether they're new people or existing members. How do you even sum up all this?

@flyingziglinde 11 ай бұрын

Dr. Les Carter. I applaud you for your courage on naming and calling out “these systems” which you mention are prevalent throughout all the layers of our society. It takes courage!

@SurvivingNarcissism 11 ай бұрын

You're welcome.

@eleonorabartoli2225 11 ай бұрын

I worked a job like this for three years. In retrospect, I wish I never had: it was incredibly damaging to my mental health, causing long lasting professional and personal damage. I thought I was strong enough and professional enough to take it: I was not. I did not have a chance against that system.

@kadootje77 11 ай бұрын

Gold!!! This Video is GOLD to me! Even when a group start as healthy, there are always some narc tendencies creeping in and they tend to take over, Does this mean I have to leave these groups? Healthy groups or places I try to seek out, constantly are infiltrated by people with narc tendencies who then manipulate or get their flying monkeys and enablers. And the 'healthy' people get bullied out. Or they get terrorized. I have left a few of these social support groups now, I wonder if I will ever find a place where I can be healthy, and where narcs can't get in... Thank you so much Dr C

@user-rb8mj5ci4n 11 ай бұрын

Sometimes courts and schools can have a system of this type narcissism

@grantaugustyniak6667 2 ай бұрын

A collective narcissistic system is an absolutely broken system deep inside - a place you don’t want to be apart of

@user-qv9nw1dq2f 6 ай бұрын

I have been subject to harrasment by a narcisistic system for years now. It is mind bending what those people are capable of. They operate like a cult and stalk and persecute anybody who does not want to join in the insanity. Thank you for your constant support and help dr Carter. Your work is saving people’s lives. God bless you❤

@lo-ul8nq 11 ай бұрын

Thank you , you've so right about everything. Its so very true. I enjoy watching your videos. I am a 47 female who got C-Ptsd from the abuse. I am the oldest out of five children my parents had. I went to Jesus cause of the abuse. Jesus is our hope. God is Love. I been a Christian for over ten years. I always been the black sheep in my family. I know my worth and values. My peace come from God. God is great all the time. God gives us victory. I walk away from Narcissists. I stay calm and quiet. Its not worth it to say anything to them since they don't get it at all. I enjoy doing things on my own by myself now. Both of my parents are Narcissists so is my grandmother. My brothers and sisters are Narcissists Enablers. Narcissists enablers are just as bad as Narcissists. Narcissists are liars Narcissists never loved us at all Narcissists dont care about you at all Narcissists are broken people Narcissists are insecure people Narcissists are pure evil souls from the Devil Narcissists are fake and phony people. Narcissists always act like they are the victim

@texasrefugee7888 11 ай бұрын

I tried the Jesus thing but those people were the worst for me. I never got so much abuse and weirdness from people in church's different churches. No problem at all stepping all over your boundaries telling you you're gonna burn in h***. Don't get me started

@susansheldon2707 11 ай бұрын

@@texasrefugee7888 I think she means she turned to Jesus personally (per his teaching in the Gospels), not to any church community. And, yes, some church sub-cultures are absolutely unloving, harmful, and dysfunctional. But knowing and living with Jesus, in a one-on-one relationship , isn't at all like that. He is love, and he gives us his peace.

@jenmayo777 11 ай бұрын

Well said ❤ I too grew up in a narc system and had C-PTSD that led me to a 15 year chronic illness that almost took my life. The narc fam pushed me towards death. It's really sick!!!

@lo-ul8nq 11 ай бұрын

@Texas Refugee , yes I have notice over the years there are some people that are abusive at church. I did leave those churches and I finally found a great church and people there. Don't give up on hope. Hope you find hope. Jesus is our hope.

@lo-ul8nq 11 ай бұрын

@Susan Sheldon , you're right what I meant, you right with everything you said. Have a great day

@henrykujawa4427 11 ай бұрын

This morning, my older home care client asked me what I thought was the most stupid, pointless question: why do I just smile and wave hello when I come in, instead of saying good morning? Truthfully, I've gotten into the habit of trying to conserve my energy for a long shift dealing with a pair of lunatics (control-freak narcissists) and try not to start speaking until I absolutely have to. He accused me of being "RUDE". 4 months of me doing this and suddenly he felt compelled to try and start an argument over something this trivial and insignificant. His younger partner told him to knock it off... but when we went shopping, HE proceeded to LECTURE me, saying I WAS rude. I replied, "I don't think so." "YES YOU ARE." Wherein I just stopped replying to the topic. He also insisted that I should reply a certain way... but this only gives me the urge NOT to do so, because at this point, the last thing I want is to GIVE IN even an inch to someone who's got nothing better to do than try to order me how to behave. The younger guy definitely fits the category "flying monkey"-- though the word "flunky" would also be a perfect fit. I put out so much effort today to AVOID arguing (or being actually rude), I eventually went home thinking to myself, I'd done an INCREDIBLY good job.

@sdjp191 11 ай бұрын

This gives a name to what I couldn’t name - the family unit my husband and I untangled from 10 years ago. It was hard then and still is sometimes because we are now the outsiders and the ones who have “fallen away”. However, the peace and freedom we now have is so worth it. The collective narcissistic system within a family is so toxic and we are so happy to be out of it. Thank you Dr. Carter for your insight and wisdom. We have listened to you throughout our 10 year journey.

@Andromeda_M31 11 ай бұрын

Entire towns can be like this!! Like the one I live in and perhaps even the state.

@mariapilarme 11 ай бұрын

I know California it’s looking like that lately everyone had to think the same way and criticism it’s not allowed or then you are a traitor. People are crazy in general!

@AnnmarieKeim-vw7ll 11 ай бұрын

Oh, Yes! I grew up in one like that. And than my narcissistic family were the community leaders.

@Andromeda_M31 11 ай бұрын

@@AnnmarieKeim-vw7ll Narcs swarm to the town meetings and get into leadership positions. It ruins everything for everyone.

@Andromeda_M31 11 ай бұрын

@@mariapilarme I'm in Massachusetts and it's like that around Boston & the suburbs.

@ollia 11 ай бұрын

Very true, have encountered such systems.

@meanimeconingles 11 ай бұрын

I've never been seen here at home. Today my mother burped at me and yelled: for you, (swear word). I fought hard with myself to not react to all this lack of respect. I've been enduring for more than two decades. If I talk, I'm a (swear word), if I shut up I'm a (swear word). I'm just a pet for them. Thank you for reading me. 👋🏻

@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS 11 ай бұрын

I read you and understand. This is the plight of the scapegoat child. Always moving the goal posts, setting you up, damned if you do, damned if you don't, guilt, blame and shame, even for stuff you had nothing to do with and while being assigned false motives and denied ur true feelings or mocked when you try to explain anything.

@JHixon-bi8ok 11 ай бұрын

Your parents behavior is despicable. You deserve respect and kindness; not the egregious treatment from your mother.

@doppelganger8329 11 ай бұрын

My mother literally neck named me "pet"

@alyssaleatham8544 11 ай бұрын

I don't think you are a (swear word). In fact I know you are not. Please know that just this comment section alone sees your strength of character that you have endured for so long but still showed up here for better. (Swear word) those degrading you. Even if you feel alone, know that you are not. None of us are, even if it looks and feels that way. I'm truly sorry you are treated this way. I have been the jerk parent to children that I knew were stronger and more secure than me and have acted out like a child. Know that it means they see your worth and it isn't you, it is them.

@SafiaGray 11 ай бұрын

Any chance you can get on your own so you can leave when the bs gets to going?

@Hikehags 11 ай бұрын

There is a system alive and well at my place of employment. Don't question management, group think, authoritarian, anyone who attempts independent thinking is punished.

@mre9208 11 ай бұрын

Mine too.

@artluvr6170 11 ай бұрын

I was raised in the Catholic Church, the world’s greatest narcissistic system.

@schizorap 11 ай бұрын

Catholics are pure evil

@viviennedray7688 11 ай бұрын

How very very true !

@LiveforHim73 11 ай бұрын

The cult I grew up in was very controlling. You could NOT be a independent thinker or reason out the Scriptures. You HAD to believe exactly as the governing body determined the Bible taught. If you disagree openly you are called apostate and totally shunned by friends and family. You will lose your family. The Bible says to reason and discern truth. Each of us is told to do this by our loving God . The religious cult mentality is hard to lose after you leave. Many become ver negative victims suffering form anxieties, loneliness, addictions and mental issues. So many are narcissistic after they get out and then try to build or create a new cult gathering. This happened in my family. We were preached at by a sibling! If we disagreed we were going to HELL. Dr. Carter mention this! Thank you! So informative! Recently we learned he not going to preach at family anymore. He’s going after main stream religious leaders to set them straight. Ugh! Glad he’s going to leave us alone. But silence is a way of his punishment! Keep on punishing please! Some days I feel very sad this has divided my family. But I will never join these cults again. I have belonged to a supper group since she set it up via KZfaq for this shut out of this cult. She spent years studying the Bible to relearn it for herself. She’s very wise lady and so thankful I found her. I had never used KZfaq until past few years. I thank everyone here for the support and kind thoughts to get through this turmoil Narcs love to abuse .

@lindsaywilliams1554 11 ай бұрын

You’re not alone, there is so many peoples are suffering because of this cult is Jehovah witness my sister ended her life because of shunning

@LiveforHim73 11 ай бұрын

@@lindsaywilliams1554 I am so sorry! Truly! My sister was an addict most her life from it and died last September from a fall. Too many falls. Sad life. JWs take Everything from you! It’s not Love.

@Deepintent 11 ай бұрын

I remember this "social-sorting" in kindergarten from kids who had to be 1st, right, or best.

@alastairwest5200 11 ай бұрын

I spent six years in the British military and if I'd known about this, I wouldn't have gone anywhere near it.!! My advice - don't join the military, you'll have a nightmare.!!

@notagain779 11 ай бұрын

Being an independent free spirited thinker, and having confidence in your own powers of discernment will get you punished every time in these systems. Enablers are terrified of rocking any boats. Especially the big boats that badly need a tidal wave to come rock them.

@AnnePerkins-po5jo 11 ай бұрын

To quote Bob Dylan, "I would not be so all alone, everybody must get stoned." Intoxication with the lead narcissist is what makes someone part of the collective.

@michaelgoldberg7403 11 ай бұрын

Good point! Thanks for sharing

@kellymackie4836 11 ай бұрын

Absolutely!!! He was charismatic and charming and women (and men) fell in love with him

@noxfelis5333 11 ай бұрын

This reminds me so much of the social service, when they came to my house due to my mothers illness, they kept on harassing me to join their system, any resistance or criticism to that was met with extreme hostility, in their mind I was just a kid who was supposed to do what I was told, no questions asked.

@user-vt9kd4no8j 11 ай бұрын

Dr, you never cease to amaze me with each video! Spot on for my situation today… opening my mind to everything narc. TYSM…again 😊

@SurvivingNarcissism 11 ай бұрын

You are quite welcome

@claudiabannister6414 11 ай бұрын

Thank you, Dr. Carter. So blessed and grateful you are part of this journey -- individually and collectively for the sake of this group -- as well as for the sake of this Whole Wide Broken Beautiful World. 🌎 ~ Namaste

@SurvivingNarcissism 11 ай бұрын

You are very welcome

@tbunnyshy1 11 ай бұрын

Excellent session as always! ❤️ What stuns me to this day is how sometimes the family ditch’s the golden child when the scapegoat leaves. It perplexes me to the core. The favorite went through hell when I left, practically ABANDONED. I hate what they did to my sister, even though she is who she is…7/9 traits bpd. Once again, I truly and deeply appreciate all that I learn from you Dr. C. I truly appreciate the team healthy family here. This is a very special place ❤❤❤

@jacquelinefroehle5868 11 ай бұрын

I learned that the 'family roles' are often switched. When the scapegoat leaves, they choose another one.

@michaelgoldberg7403 11 ай бұрын

Narcs will eat their own in a minute if it benefits them.

@ashleyhobson1414 11 ай бұрын

I can't say how much I still appreciate these videos! I'm back here after about a year and a half because I'm dating someone for the first time again after breaking away from a narcissist 5 yr relationship. I'm now beginning to think they're also some type of narcissist after dating them for about 3 months. It's scary, but I have knowledge and a village to help me navigate better now. I'm hoping I can continue to protect myself and break away if it comes to me needing to. I'm also working on keeping my boundaries still too.

@Yellow-oc4sl 11 ай бұрын

Run and don't look back , hopefully you have left and dropped that scary relationship,

@DockClock-rp2ro Ай бұрын

@@Yellow-oc4slThis is spiteful and indiscriminate advice. You know nothing about the situation. I hope the relationship went well, and that she was just unsure after her previous relationship.

@mre9208 4 ай бұрын

During covid 19 we had a strong campaign in which household members were broken down into perpetrators and victims. Collective Narcissism had a strong role to play in the development of this thinking.

@inconceivabledark 11 ай бұрын

Applies to governments too. Greetings from the UK....

@mthomas3547 11 ай бұрын

Thank you, Doctor Carter! As I was listening to you, I was reminded of how much growth happens when you're allowed to explore different ideas. I think we all know those moments when the person or people have said to us, "What do you think?" When we respond, they are quick to say, "Oh, we don't do that!" How about, we say something along the lines of, "That's very interesting. Tell me more about that!"

@SurvivingNarcissism 11 ай бұрын

I like how you think!

@treysmythstunes 11 ай бұрын

Thank you, this is one of the most helpful. People don't even know this type of behavior is sick, they've become so accustomed to thinking and acting like obedient shadow puppets for their own inner dark shadows themselves!

@DanaP3335 11 ай бұрын

I needed this today, thank you Dr. C

@SurvivingNarcissism 11 ай бұрын

You are so welcome

@michaellendzian2655 10 ай бұрын

Small town politics. Law enforcement. Lawyers. Clergy. Church people. Ah, the Joy of small town life.

@marthaclair3504 11 ай бұрын

Gus doesn't have to say a word......and I agree with him 💯 💙 Silence really can be golden

@karenortega2046 11 ай бұрын

I had been telling him for ages the way his family worked was like an alliance. It works for them but not anybody else. There is a reason there are no daughter-in -laws. The matriarch triangulates and its done so well no one saw it but me or at least acknowledged it. This women is 85 and still rules authoritarian like… the boys 64 and 56 are so submissive but adore her. The boys are lonely older men that are codependent on her. They ride around with them in the backseat of there car. I always thought it was odd that they didn’t drive the parents around instead but because they have been made to submit. The amount of submissiveness to mom is crazy… its like they have no say. It spills over onto the boys both are depressed twice divorced men and refuse to see any connection. I thought i was there to help him but he didn’t want that and 19 years later i left. I refuse to be silent and capitulate to there underhanded sneaky ways. They looked so sweet and kind on the outside and were even long time Unity church goers. You cant unsee it once your in it. I got on the bad side of his adult daughter when she tried to run the show of myself and her dad. Triangulation started and sides were taken. Dumpster fire started real quick.

@dawor1761 11 ай бұрын

Very good Dr. C, I'm glad you talked about this. Narcissists truly work together as well as share their flying monkeys. I have seen it first hand.

@robinsmith4499 11 ай бұрын

Covert selfish father in law - overt selfish sister in law. Both powerful personalities. I hold a Gray Rock in my hand surviving to the best of ability. My quiet, self controlled being in their presents feels peaceful. Thinking about making myself a Gray Rock necklace. 🙌🏻🙌🏻

@amandabaker3880 11 ай бұрын

You know, I don't know why but I feel guilty/ selfish for separating myself from my parents. Why; Maybe because that's their voices inside my head?. I keep reminding myself that this is the trade for peace and the escape of abusive control. I feel so much healthier mentally and can focus on daily reflections instead of how something recently happened when interacting with them.

@debchase3330 11 ай бұрын

This is a burden on my heart in which I purposefully place in God's hands everyday. My son and his family became a part of a religious group that taught hate. They left that church but followed one of its members to a different state. After they realized the leader was a lazy man who expected the tiny church to support him and his large family, they left that church as well. Now they refuse to try to find a healthy church community. I understand it is difficult and time consuming to find one, but oh so necessary. They shame me for my differing beliefs and they have distanced my grandchildren from me. What gives me comfort and peace is that God knows every heart and has a plan for every life. As heart wrenching as it is not to see or talk to my grandchildren, I continue to be me and let them be them. They live a very sheltered existence, and my grandchildren need to get interaction with other children. The church they belonged to did not deal with other denominations. I raised my children to be in the world but not of the world. You cannot child-proof the world. Rather, you must world-proof the child. That's what I thought I had done. A word to other parents, we can only do our best and leave the result to God. Praising God for you and your work!

@user-cd3wb2ql7y 11 ай бұрын

Thank you so much dr Carter. I love the information. I have this problem at work. before some months I pointed out a bad behavior (belittling comments, cliques, hidden agendas and gossip) and these 5 people instead of self reflect and apologise turn everything against me, making me seem as the problematic and bad guy. They came together and at first gave me the silent treatment, then wanted to learn everything i do, then they approached all people in our community and work network and in a latent way started spreading malicious gossip about me, playing the victims. Things are more complicated because these people have power and many follow them or don't speak because of that. They can be very polite and friendly while i ve seen that to me and other not "accepted" in the clique individuals give a passive aggressive treatment. I have heard them talking bad about each and everyone, then acting good in front of them, some despise each other but they all came together against the perceived enemy because they did not want their behaviors exposed. They have done it to other people in the past. How one survives this mob? you are now 1 against many..you are obviously wrong....that s a power game

@Soothsayer937 11 ай бұрын

Work situations are tough because, obviously, people are trying to earn a living, so you see many people caving in to dominant personalities. I think this often happens without a great deal of thought behind it. One of my employers tried to get me to behave in this manner. Just be authoritarian and people will fall in line. Most people find it easier to be told what to think and do, and have little ability to individuate...The consequences of independent thought can certainly be painful once narcissists begin to punish you! That is their goal, to control you through fear of reprisal.

@demox_yt8386 11 ай бұрын

Weaklings and hypocrites, liars and abusers. Stand up to them and hold firm in your righteousness. I felt what you are saying,and it is not easy to live with that but I kind of have a belief one day , our actions will matter and be recognised.

@andersdottir1111 11 ай бұрын

I am sorry you are dealing with this; I’ve been in the same situation and ended up leaving. I ended up self-employed for awhile which put me in a much better position. Unfortunately while you stay at that toxic workplace things will get worse not better.

@anthonyleveille1 11 ай бұрын

Narcissists no contact is stalking and harassing you, desperately needing you to react then when you do react they act like they dont care

@maytruthprevail4668 11 ай бұрын

Today I got caught up in a difficult conversation with an ageing Narcissistic woman who is also the prime enabler of the head of the Narcissistic family I have unfortunately been connected with for more than four decades. This video threw so much light on the way this vicious family have literally swindled so much, and though all the prime members are old, sick and losing their marbles their penchant for evil is hard coded into their mean and dishonest mindset, they don't give up trying to get the better of me. I fortunately chanced on this video soon after, and it was like an answer to so many questions I had to the ridiculous manner in which this family behaves. My family of origin is no better though, and on reflection there's a whole heap of information in this video which I can connect with both the families.....thank God I was not pulled into being Narcissistic like these over bearing, distateful, abominable, crafty, criminal minded individuals. Thank you Dr. C.

@malibu90265 11 ай бұрын

My ex-narcissist used his family, my former in-laws, as one of his core narcissistic systems.

@retarteddwarf2182 11 ай бұрын

A whole den of narcs. Oh no! You better recognize and plan accordingly my friend. This stuff is real.

@gladiammgtow4092 11 ай бұрын

Perfect description of my workplace. Boss Narc has almost destroyed his busniess.😂

@renebernays5774 11 ай бұрын

this is one of your most helpful videos (in my opinion) yet ... I really appreciate your work, everyone benefits .... the NPDs have been developing cult like followings online in several movements that I'm involved in and no one can point it out without becoming under attack

@renebernays5774 11 ай бұрын

being involved in the 1st amendment/cop watch movement for years, I was very disappointed when Delete Lawz showed up last year ... I saw very quickly that he is NPD

@renebernays5774 11 ай бұрын

being involved in the truth seeker community for so many years, I was very disheartened when Crow triple seven became all buddy buddy with O. Benjamin ... I ended up under "bear" attack (still ongoing since 2019) for trying to warn him and secrets of saturn about what he and his "bears" do to everyone

@renebernays5774 11 ай бұрын

being a part of the self ownership movement (anarchism) movement for years, it was kind of scary when I noticed that PaulEnslaved was one of the NPD's ... he could possibly be one of the worst, most dangerous of them

@SurvivingNarcissism 11 ай бұрын

Thank you, Rene.

@bodaciousbethany0 11 ай бұрын

No wonder I've always been a loner at school and on jobs.😅😂

@carpathianken 11 ай бұрын

I'm dealing with a group of collective narcissist's at the moment at work. It's like dealing with the mothers mafia. Even though I studied in the countries that are the world authority in my field & received my qualifications there, these customers tell me that my credentials aren't worth the paper that they're written on & that even though it would be highly illegal to do so, I should instead do my job in the way that they say. It's hard to tactfully quit because they always feign the victim & make me out to be the bad guy, but I have to because I can't allow myself to be put in a compromising situation whereby I'm forced to lower my standards. Thank-you Dr. Carter. You're a sanity lifesaver

@Shimmerin 11 ай бұрын

Good grief...ABSOLUTELY ALL OF THIS! It's dead on for my family.

@alyssaleatham8544 11 ай бұрын

What a brilliant comment. I will hear in my head today, "Good grief" because, honestly, good grief and I hope you don't mind but it will make me smile. Just knowing you see the absurdity in it all too. Good grief is right.

@alwayslearningthankyou2708 11 ай бұрын

Your right about political groups and government entities. They are all collectives of narcissists. Try having an open minded conversation with them. You are a great teacher and communicator.

@THRASHMETALFUNRIFFS 11 ай бұрын

... and Religious orgs!! Lol, yeah right, open minded debate? Be prepared for false judgement and hypocrisy!

@schizorap 11 ай бұрын

Damn right

@itsknotmagic 11 ай бұрын

Do you ever see yourself in these situations? And realise that it was you just going along but isn't really who you are?

@MJ-qb5ph 11 ай бұрын

Only all my life

@susancosgrove5010 11 ай бұрын

You have taken me on a journey of enlightenment. I so appreciate all your time, insights and experience to help me untangle the web of narcissism I unwittingly flew into. After many, many years of distress and confusion, I can now 'see' the invisible strands they spin that keep us in that state. I also appreciate your many years of training and experience that has brought these insights, so there's nothing inherently defective in me for not 'getting it' sooner. As always, my grateful thanks Dr C 🤗🐶⚘

@SurvivingNarcissism 11 ай бұрын

Sue, I am always so grateful for your encouraging remarks. I know you've been grinding it out for a while now, and I'm honored to be on the path with you...all the way from the other side of the world. Cool. Dr. C

@susancosgrove5010 11 ай бұрын

@@SurvivingNarcissism Thanks Dr C, I've been grinding away for some 40+ years. However, since I came across your web site, and your clear explanations, years ago - I began to flourish having now, a clarity on 'what was really going on'. And I love the way you parallel the path of Scripture in dealing with these difficult people. Ps if I may add, 'hell' has been, and is, an erroneous teaching. The Bible's answer 'Hell' ("Sheol" and "Hades" in the Bible's original languages) is simply the grave..not a place of fiery torment. Both good and bad people go to 'Hell'....the grave. (Psalm 9 v 17) I hope you didn't mind me sharing that, so many are held 'captive' by the fear of torment after death, that if the correct understanding brings comfort, I thought I would share it. From this wet and cold side of the globe, much Christian love, Sue C 🤗

@25johis 6 ай бұрын

I'm living in a small Town, where works like this everywhere. It's not place to being SELF and different. I can feel it in the air. I can't bread. I'm working in moving out and protect my family ❤

@lambchop6278 11 ай бұрын

Yep! Don't drink the coolade! 😉☺️. ...Used to marvel at how people could go along with cults until I realized I was born into one and was already immersed in the unthinking groupthink. Not so much anymore, but still am working on truly separating myself.

@druchampion-payne1489 11 ай бұрын

My in=laws are like this, they only love their "blood" family ... been married 35 years and I don't go to any more family get togethers on my husband's side of the family because they treated me like an outsider, or like dirt; and they did the same thing to my two precious daughters from my first marriage, and they were innocent children. So when my father-in-law died only his "blood" grandchildren received an inheitance, but my two daughters did not, even though we all lived under the same roof. Or when we would arrive at their family get togethers my husband got the red carpet treatment, big hugs and kisses, and I got nothing even though I was standing right beside him as they greeted my husband. And sitting around their huge dining room table sharing stories, anything I said was ignored and I felt invisible, as if they all decided ahead of time NOT to laugh at my jokes or even talk to me -- so weird. No way was that a coincidence that they all ignored me as if planned ahead of time. They also treated me with disdain like I was beneath them, even though I was a good & faithful wife, never cheated on my husband or mismanaged our finances. I didn't do drugs. I didn't steal. Have no criminal record. But they treated me like dirt as if I had done something wrong. I never did anything to warrant so much distrust & mistreatment. Every time we got together I felt like I was being punished, but I never understood why. Yeah, my in=laws only showed attention to my husband and the two sons we had from our marriage, because they are BLOOD. So bizarre & hurtful.

@TC-gx3qn 11 ай бұрын

Spot on as usual, Dr C. The worst is family narcissistic systems because it is practically impossible to get people to recognize that their parents and siblings are narcissists. Blessings to you both, and Gus from California. 🐕

@brightantwerp 11 ай бұрын

That must be our Belgium government. Today a rule is installed that politicians can't publicly critises governments agreements, or they get fired.

@christineplaton3048 11 ай бұрын

I left the religious cult. I raised a huge family that sadly was affected by narcissism. In the churches you are befriending multiples of disordered people. I have so much I could and want to share. Im in NY state.