This, for me, is a big one.
The way we speak to ourselves is generally not quite the same as the way we would speak to others. We are also much better at giving advice to other people than we are at taking it ourselves.
Whether you are feeling anxious, angry, sad, ashamed, or anything else, it is useful to be able to tell whether or not the way you are speaking to yourself is fair. It can be hard to tell.
Asking “What would I say to someone else in this situation?” And importantly “How would I say it to them?” Can really help you check out whether you are really being fair, and if not, allow you to tap into some of that compassion that you reserve for other people and use it for yourself.
It’s easier to feel more at ease and to make good choices when you are being kind to yourself than it is when you are being harsh.