When it comes to building self-compassion, it’s not so much what you say to yourself, it’s the tone of voice you use.
Having the right words to say to ourselves can be helpful, but sometimes it’s missing something and it stays at an intellectual level: I can see what I should say to myself to be kind, but it’s not affecting the way I feel.
When we are trying to soothe another person or a pet, it’s not the words so much as the tone of voice and body language that does the business.
Learning to speak to yourself with the same warmth and compassion that you usually reserve for other people can make a massive difference.