Susan you are a life saver! I was having the worst anxiety attack and almost reached out to them. Luckily this video came up and you snapped me out of it. Thank you, thank you, thank you! 🙌🏽

“Would the love of your life treat you this way?”…once I asked myself this question, I got clarity and closure and was able to reclaim what little self-respect I had remaining.

"Do you admire who they are"- love it. My new mantra.

We build an idea of them, of who we want them to be based on what our eyes want see and our heart to believe rather than what they're really telling us about who they are. We're all guilty of this on both sides. 💯👊🦁

I must admit that there was a time in my life that I would make excuses for peoples’s poor behavior. But once I valued myself enough to realize that I deserve someone I can respect ..void of excuses for their poor behavior, life is so much better. I encourage everyone to see the value in yourselves BEFORE you look for a partner. It is far better to be single while broken or to settle for someone who is.

this goes hand and hand with what Sabrina Zohar has stated, “make them a person again “ and if they were that great of a person as you’ve made yourself to believe you’d be with them and wouldn’t be in this down cloud of depression/confusion that you’re currently in.

Sometimes the person is not a bad person, they just don't want you (anymore). What I just noticed, I also sometimes maybe confuse people, because of my insecurities, that I feel, I am not enough for them, (also because I admire them so much, they are so perfect in my eyes, or they achieve something I dream of). So, it motivated me right now to get my life in order, learn better time management and finally follow my passions. That will make me admire myself, because without loving myself somehow I cannot believe someone else (no matter who the person is and what says) really loves me.

The way I see it is 'charisma is not an excuse for bad behavior'. Yes, someone can be charismatic. Can they also be bad? Sure. The important thing is not to deny the latter just because of the former.

One of the best things I like about this channel - or about Susan - is that her insights are very unique. I mean, how she words them and how she delivers them. This is one of her best quality.

This is the best I've heard and I'm 72 , married 30 years old, he abandoned me for a younger woman. I needed to hear this. Thank you. Yes, he is now with someone I know he isn't happy with, but that's his issue. Again, thank you.

Thank you Susan, i made a list of all the behaviors he has that are cruel towards me it helps whenever i feel so lonely and in pain and longing for someone to hold. I read it and know its not him i am looking for. The void sucks in anyone. We need to fill that vacant lot with self love until someone comes along and maybe no one will ever come along. We have to be strong enough not to settle on toxic manipulate ppl no matter how hard life gets❤

This is great advice. It MAY be related to the ever challenging question: "Is it a better mark of your character to be despised by the dispicable or to be admired by the admirable ?"

I don't know where to begin besides telling you thank you for making this video and helping understand what I've been going through. I'm not going to go into alot of detail but I will say I've been through hell and back with a woman who I loved but didn't love me back. After seeing this video I'm finally free after 6 years. I missed alot out of my 20s. They were a blur and I don't remember much of them because of all that happened. I'm 30 now and I'm ready to live my life from being poor to visiting London, England next summer. If a good woman comes along in my life than even better, but for now it's my time and self care for me, not selfish, but I deserve things after many years of putting others before me. I can't thank you enough, Susan. You're better than any help I had and she did make me feel to a point where i thought think about suicide, But not anymore I have one hell of a loving life to live. Thank you.

You are THE best Susan ❤ Your calm, intuitive way is in a League of its own. x

I think you touched on something when you said "proud". I was thinking the other day, as much as I want this person around, how embarrasing this position is theyve put me in. Even if they were to come back how could I explain this segment of time to people in the future? I wouldnt want to. I would have to lie. I dont want to do that. Therefore its better if they stay gone. Although I do have to keep reminding myself.

I needed this I really did ❤️

"Can I admire who they are as a human being?" NO!!!!!! Thank you, Susan x

Great video. You look good in that color girl! Thanks for all your help navigating this life. 🎉

This video contains a powerful message. A must see! And over and over again. Thank you, Susan.💐

Jeez. You certainly hit this “bullseye” definitely what I needed to hear

I love how you get right to the point. You are awesome.

Thanks so much Susan, but what if the answer is yes...? What if they are indeed kind, empathetic and good? What if you truly do admire them as a person, and that's why you are obsessed with them?

Sadly the reason I obsess over her is precisely because I respect and admire her personality.

Hi Susan, you've saved me at the lowest points in my life. Thankyou. I'm from India and you inspire me. Just wanted to ask you, if you could make a video on how to build your inner self stronger alone? Cause I believe that's what all of us at some point need to do in life.

Respect thank you for this Susan! Thank you for asking us if we admire their qualities are they a kind human that we are proud of. A human that will take out the trash or mow the lawn. A person that appreciates kindness and respects you!

Hey Susan thanks a lot for that video, the timing is perfect. Actually stuck in this loop but what you said in the video had an electroshock on myself. THANKS AGAIN.

Buddha's Four Noble Truths: 1. Suffering is caused because we react. 2. We react because we attach. Anger and blame are delusions. 3. There is a way to achieve freedom. 4. The Eightfold path leads to cessation of attachment. I leave that path for you to discover. Meantime there is another way that worked for me. Join your local YMCA and learn to swim. I do the Australian crawl with alternate breathing which requires you to breathe on every 3rd stroke. Counting to 3 consumes all thought. It is wonderfully soothing to the self.

Mine is a narcissist and a cheater. The man I fell in love with does not exist and yet, everytime he says something nice to me or better yet shows me that things are not going well with his "new supply", I get triggered. We all work at same company. 4 months ago I filed for divorce. I will get thru this and thank you Ms Winter for the added weaponry in my arsenal. I am looking forward to winning this battle. I am looking forward to meeting a man who will love just me and I will love him.

We broke up for a month. I was devastated. He texted last week. Im so happy for that. We're going to try work it out.

Needed this message, thank you. Coral looks gorgeous on you

Thank you, Susan. This is something I didn't consider.

To be truly honest, their characters for that time period I was with him I do not admire. And I was only deceived. I think I no longer need to think of this person, in my eyes, he isn’t that great of a person. My love of my life definitely wouldn’t behave how my ex did to me. Case closed. Thank you Susan. 🙏

This is so spot on! Thank you.

This is so powerful Susan! I needed this today❤

susan, can you make one video about how to let go of hope about something that's done. how to reassure yourself when it's over in a situation where the person is someone you work with in the office or is a classmate to you.

Thank you Susan! I will remember this!❤

best video!!! truth truth truth

Hello Susan, Another home run! Need perfectly expressed. Bravo my dear!

Love this ! Thank you Susan ❤️

And if he is kind for others and do a lot in line of work to help unknown people in need, but he just has no time for me, and obviously doesnt care enough for me?

I have wonder myself and yes I admire them, that usual what gets my attention is they way they are out in the real world, but the money gap has me feeling like I have no business talking to anyone and I should just stay in my lane. I live my life from check to check and they are life times past me with all their big shot friends I have been humble down today and I feel alone now. Stay beautiful Miss Susan Winters I don't know how to deal with this feeling that keeps coming up and need some advice on this one. You know

Love u susan i feel so happy listening to u.. love from Pakistan

I've been struggling with this.

This video is GOLD. Do you ADMIRE them? 🤔 I truly needed this perspective 💯 Thank you

Susan, you look beautiful in coral!! It’s definitely your color!

Just Start watching this video. I'm totally consumed. We've been divorced for 2 months. Being married to one another was a living hell.... We don't navigate relationships the same way. And yet there is apart of us that still feels compelled towards one another. It's a conundrum and I really don't know what to do. Hoping this video hold Some wisdom on how to gain control of my own emotions.

Omg! I really loved that!

Lookin lovely as always Susan keep up the great content 🌹🌹🌹

Re-subbed! I took a break from dating for a few years and since I am back at it (apparently) my first stop is Susan Winter, of course.

Golden wise words susan, thank you for this ❤much love ❤️

Don't wanna be cheesy but mine was the 69th like :) lol..!! Sorry, didnt mean any disrespect..!! But apart from this, in all honesty, this was the topic ( Obsession - loop) was something that first made my find your Videos, and then I realized what I am going through is real, and made me realize what I am doing to myself, and am trying to get out of the loop. Giving my everything to get over it. And I am so thankful to you Susan for making me see the truth of what I have been going through. You are a blessed being..!! Stay happy and healthy..!! Huge fan.. always..!! 😍

Daaaang this is excellent advice.

WOW! Thank you! 🙌🏼🙏🏻❤

Thank you!❤

Wow! That hit me! ❤️

Thank you Susan. Great way to look at things Susan❤

That definitely helped. Thank you.

Thank God for you. My pain lead me to your channel & your wisdom will set me free. 🙏 (hopefully 😳😬)

That was a great question Do you admire them Provides clarity 😮😅❤ Thank you 🙏

i remember i was watching susan and cry my eyes out over someone i was obssesed for almost a year five months ago.. wondering when is it gonna change. now i healed and i'm even happier than i was before i met him :) whoever is going through that, its really really hard i know and i understand you, i'm proud of you. just give yourself time to heal and live your life. it'll be okay even though it feels like it wont :) thank you susan you helped me and millions of people a lot 🫶🏻

Ive got myself in a situationship. Mutual attraction, chemistry, the whole 9 yards. But, weve got a 3rd party interfering. I cant compete w substance abuse, and. Damit, hes a great guy being held hostage, and its so hard to let someone go when you actually feel a magnetic pull towards them. Yes, I admire who he is as a human being. Hes a WONDERFUL person, very insecure though, weve been friends for a long time. I know we were out in each others paths for a reason. But, idk if I got it wrong somewhere, or if hes bot doing the work to stop these habbits... dk what to do. Im not insecure. I do give a shit, and I so want to make him see the person I see when I look at him, but... hes pretty broken, I'm pretty patient. But, again. Camt compete w drugs. Idk the struggle hes going through, but a friend told me when he was on that crap, he had no emotions, so, that makes me think all the more. Like hes REALLY going to miss out on what we made pretty great. But, he has to want it. And Im just so sick of being sad at this point.

Great one!

Thank you so much ❤this helped

Thank you, good food for thought ❤

I looked back at the girls he was inviting to his house while seeing me. It shows he has no standards. I find it disappointing cause there's good traits about him.

genius... you are absolutely brilliant... thank you so much... 🙏 ♥

This really helps

You’re stunning and smart ❤

Do I admire them? Good question. Thank you

Please make a video on leminence.. I think its called.

Thank you ❤

Drop it like its hot...

Thanks!

I appreciate your content Susan. However, I feel like I've known with clarity for a long time that this person I obsess over tends to be rude sometimes and occasionally he's even manipulative and self-centred. I know 100% that I would not be proud of ways he's behaved. But I don't think that necessarily stops the love you have for them. For some reason I think of Star Wars, where Padme loved Anakin until her last breath, even after he'd turned into a monster.

But I am obsessed with somebody who is all those good things!!!!! But he is married with 4 kids!!! So I can't have him!!!!

My answer for questions at 2:16 is yes, but for some reasons can't be together, then how to get over it?

Susan ❤

What if you admire them but they rejected you(and that’s their right bc they were just not into you). How do you get over them?

It happens also that the person lacking empathy and respect for the partner starts obsessing for the one whom they have treated like garbage. They know of having done everything wrong and they hope to be accepted the way they are. It doesn't work line that 😂

Susan my ex was just from a different religion and we couldn’t be together bc of that this was a non-negotiable but I dated him bc of how much I wanted a healthy relationship … other than that, he was such a gentleman and healthy 🥺😪 any tips here ?

❤❤❤

the men the women crave don't exist or are in a relationship , plain and simple

❤❤❤❤❤

You can't mix sex and love Yo

Since it is not possible to stop making videos about obsessions, i wonder if a possibility of obsession stopping is real at all. "Are you still obsessing? Stop it!", you say time and time again. It was a sad joke by me.

Hi Susan ! Thank you so… much for the best advice anyone can give? You are truly helping people !!, you are the best ❤❤❤🙏🏼😇

what if the answer is yes?