the biggest sign is having icky on your recommended

2:43 If you dissociate, it doesn't mean you're trans, it means you're a soluble compound obviously

Time for my 85th day of watching “How to know you’re trans” videos even though I’ve been on HRT for…85 days.

“If I’m not a woman, at least I’ll have a female body” Wow… that hit close to home.

“Becoming a person” is EXACTLY how I described my feelings when I started HRT. I’d had enough of being an automaton that walked the path of least resistance and obediently swallowed all of the pain.

the advice i give ppl, as a trans woman who questioned for a long time: it was so much more productive to ask myself the practical questions like "do i want to take hormones?" and "what pronouns feel affirming for me?" than the bigger picture abstract questions like "am i trans?" or "am i a woman?" realizing that was a big turning point for me so i really relate to "well even if i'm not a woman at least i'll have a female body"

I was in a relationship with someone who used my female name, used she/her pronouns consistently, called me her girlfriend in front of her friends. Even her parents took part. And I still didn't get it! I did't accept it until I met a trans-person IRL and explained her my gender identity to which she said: "to me this all sounds like you are just scared." Oh she was so right. It then became obvious to me that most of what dragged me down every single day was dysphoria.

Who here knows they’re trans but is here anyway 😂

theres this bit in the new matrix film, were Bug offeres new!morpheus the red pill/blue pill choice and says something like, (paraphrased): "by the time you get to this 'choice' the choice doesn't exist any more, because during the journey that lead you to this moment... you aleady made your decision." and I had to get up and take a walk around my flat at that because damn.

Biggest sign I missed, beyond the standard body issues, was, at 14, being in love with sci-fi that explored the idea that our bodies were not the definers of our identity, à la Ghost in the Shell. Took me another 10 years to connect the dots.

Thank you for saying that questioning your gender doesn’t always mean that you're trans. I've seen way too many people saying that you have to be trans if you’ve questioned your gender, even in the trans community

For me, the greatest barrier was I didn't really care about gender that much, I think because I'm kinda autistic, I just knew I wanted to be more feminine. so I never felt like I was trans enough to start the process, but it was honestly seeing Finn coming out and seeing that you didn't have to be just a trans woman to transition to be more feminine and start hormones. I started hormones about 3 months ago, I've never been happier with where I'm going with my body.

Personally, another huge thing that also pushed me over the edge... Was thinking if by the time Im old I'll look back on that moment and regret not transitioning.

Icky: “if you watched this video all the way to here, it’s at least 70-30 that you are.” Me: smiles for some reason. “Wait why did that make me smile”

One thing that has been a sign for me was "falling in love" with some girl but I wasn't into her romantically. I didn't want her, I wanted to be her.

getting this on your recommended tab is a pretty big hint tbh

Finns little "he he he" caught me off guard

i struggle with wearing more feminine clothes and doing makeup etc because i dont wanna be associated as "man wearing women clothing" so i just dont do anything because i dont want that for me i guess it also is scared of trying new things and failing

i fuckin love how stupid it is that r/egg_irl cracked so many of us. like this mix of "i feel attacked repeatedly" and "i found my people" moment, it's so amazing for a silly meme internet board.

My family did their best to shelter me from all things queer, so it took me so long to figure out that you didn't need to start as a child, so I started at 28. 32 now, 2 years HRT, couldn't be happier. At first I definitely didn't feel good that so much of my life was "lost", but that feeling quickly went away when I started actually experiencing my present for the first time.

Still cis tho :3

Sitting here in a skirt, with a Blahaj, still need this video to tell if I’m trans

You specifically mentioned it, but it is almost funny to me as generally confidently cis identifying, that I ask "Does the average cis person even question if they're trans? Probably not but I'm not a mind reader" But exploring those kinds of thoughts has at least helped me realize I'm bi so that's nice

One thing ive realized after the years ive socially and medicaly transitioned is that now i feel normal. I no longer feel out of place when im at socials events and when interacting with people.

My egg cracked, and as the bits are starting to peel off I am noticing a lot of stuff that has been there forever...

To add my pov about the "denial phase" I don't think it is always happening As autistic I have difficulties to deal with emotions, I have to analyse stuff to understand them and even if I have female clothes, that I loved to wear since more than 10 years.... I just didn't realize I was trans because I just didn't analysed it... and well at the second I turned on my braincells it became obvious but I never thought at any moment "no it's not me" So... yeah, based on who you are and how you deal with understanding yourself it can be very unique path for everyone (anyway good luck everyone about whatever you're dealing with! ❤)

By the time I was 21 I felt like I was 'running out of time' to try transitioning and that I needed to hurry the hell up or else I'll be in this horrendous body forever, and balding. I was afraid of transitioning but even more afraid of taking too long, and deciding it's right for me when I'm older and irreparably masculinized, and never taking the chance at being able to look how I feel living with no hope. I expected VERY little from HRT but oh boy did it change literally everything. Just know it's never too late to try to live in your authenticity and HRT is as close to magic for your body and soul as you can get.

icky is really an inspiration to me. Ive been thinking of transitioning lately and like its so awesome to have this on youtube

Honestly for me, before I knew what being trans was, I pushed down any feelings of being a girl, because "thats impossible" and never acted feminine because "that would be gay" My egg started to crack when I looked up if men can get titties, and if I could get them My egg fully cracked when I found OT's r/traa series

Oh my life... The "Icky Lore" theme song! This video goes really deep, and as someone on the outside, I love how your content gives me some insight into what trans people experience as they come to realise who they truly are. You are so good at explaining this stuff from your own perspective.

As someone who knows for sure they are not trans, these videos are still very informative to help understand trans people and their struggles. Thank you for sharing your story :D

I've always wanted to be a girl instead of a boy, but the first trans thought I ever had was at 21 when I saw hrt timeline pictures on 4chan and felt like I wanted that for me. Sadly I remained in denial for another 12 years, but hey, at least now I finally feel ready to embrace it and I don't think I've ever felt better in my life.

Watching this video and hearing you say you started questioning at the same time as me is difficult to hear. Obviously everyone has different circumstances and moves at their own pace, but I can’t say it doesn’t hurt that I’m still not able to comfortably be myself after “questioning” for 4 years. …..Still cis tho.

Cis dude here, just really love F1nn and Icky content. Sat though a good chunk of this video then had a thought like, "With how much of their videos I watch, KZfaq may start trying to brainwash me into becoming trans," as a joke to myself. Right after that, Icky goes, "That's my indoctrination for this week. Maybe I'll try and indoctrinate you more next week." The timing really couldn't have been better lol

I'm CIS, a big bruiser and quite content with my masculinity Ashley, but I watch your content because I want to see how other humans muddle through life. You do a lovely job of helping me understand some of the challenges other humans face in life and it helps put my own travails in perspective, thank you (and Fimter), you are both lovely people.

Sometimes I still think “maybe I’m not trans”, and I’ve had SRS lol. Except now that thought is lack of body dysphoria motivated instead of doubt motivated. So I just ask my brain “do you want to go back?” and it shuts up real quick (the answer was HECK NO!)

the thing that finally helped me overcome my fear to transition was that even if i was afraid of transitionting and being wrong, i was even more afraid of not transitioning at all and then being a 40 year old man who never transitioned and feels massive amounts of regret

As a Muslim man who lives in a very conservative Muslim country, I just want to say that I think you are an absolutely beautiful woman.

Finn is right, your partner will tell you. Even if neither you nor they themselves know you are trans, they will say things to you that will make you realize sooner.

This was very informative. Thank you. I liked that you focused on certain commonalities of trans experiences as it seems like more and more every day there is a flood of media attempting to "explain away" trans identities and experiences as illegitimate.

I'm 43 and I took about two weeks seriously thinking and researching about what it was to be transgender, and thinking good and hard about my whole life up to that point, after someone pointed out that I have a tendency to play female characters in video games before I actually decided to officially open up about it. Now I'm 3 years into HRT and am happier then I ever was.

When I was a kid maybe 5-6 years old I remember sitting in the living room watching The Little Mermaid. It got to the song where Ariel is singing about wanting to go on land. I think the song is called part of your world. Anyways I felt really uncomfortable during this song. Because Shes singing about wanting to live a different life and change her body. This triggered something in me and I left the room to go cry. I think that was when I knew I was trans. I didn't have the word trans to go on back then but I knew something was wrong with me and a boy should not have these feelings. For years I tried to convince my self that I hated women. I didn't really hate them though. I was jealous of them. I would see a really beautiful woman and there would be a feeling deep inside of me that made me say this. "Why can't I be like her." That scared me because I had a very conservative religious upbringing. When I was about 14 I realized that hating women was not the answer. It was not helping me it was just making me an asshole and so I stopped. A few years later I got an internet connection and started googling random stuff. I found my self on Wikipedia and discovered what trans people were. There was not doubt then.

I’m 100% Cis, and have absolutely know without a doubt that I’m Cis for more than 50 years now. And yet, I watch a lot of this content because I truly want hear the perspective and understand life journey of people not me. Thanks for sharing.

I think when the voice in your head keeps questioning, but instead of doubts you have the desire to push these thoughts aside and ignore them, that for me was telling. Like, you're mind has accepted who you are, so your coping mechanism is to just ignore the feelings but not deny them. Also, when it becomes natural to think of just 'getting on with life ' and transitioning as one thing, then you know you're​ ready.

I’m AMAB and grew up in the 90s. I questioned my gender from when i was around 6-8 years old and often wished with birthday cake, wishing wells and shooting stars that i was a girl or could dress like a girl. Back then there was no recourses apart from shows like Jerry Springer so i hid my thoughts and only crossdressed occasionally. Now at 36 i feel i am more nonbinary but really regret not being more open from a younger age as i know my family would’ve been accepting.

The "Icky Lore" jingle killed me lmao

out of all the short comings of western culture (and also the fear mongering and making things seem a bigger problem/issue then they are on mainstream media), this comment section is pretty wholesome. truly a beautiful silver lining that some people who otherwise would have been/felt alone their entire lives get to experience meeting someone like you. Im very cis and was raised in a Christian conservative home. Growing up I loved finding knowledge about random topics. But some I couldn't get my head around, (I couldn't come to a satisfying simple conclusion). I think its because of how abstract certain problems are and well my brain was underdeveloped lol. Sought structure even though I hated it and questioned authority (be it silently in my head) constantly. Im 21 now and 14 yr old me would definitely call me a lot of slurs for leaving a heartfelt message here. So I guess maybe I've been on the right track for longer than I give myself credit for. Anyways this isn't about me, but truly glad to see people not be forever burdened with an abstract invisible crushing weight on their shoulders.

Kudos to the editor! That Icky Lore bump is so cute, and I wouldn't mind if it came back in the future

Icky I'm sure you're already aware but I wanted to say it anyway. You, your existence, and all that you do is so valuable for the younger generation. It's far too late for me bc I'm old now but for the younger people questioning themselves you provide so much help and support. Had you been around 20 years ago my life could've been very different. Keep doing you, you're an angel and I know there's so many people out there you're helping that are struggling with their identity. You're amazing.

7:18 "Because you became a person". this ECHOS into what has been the most eye-opening part of my whole be-ing-myself-around-others gender journey. I have regularly thought "I don't know if I ever really had a relationship". It was all like "I have to get the perfrmance right to have a helthy relationship". Then I started being me around others, and "WOAH. *THIS* IS WHAT FRIENDS FEEL LIKE?? OH GODS I'VE NEVER ACTUALLY HAD FRIENDSHIPS.

Honestly, a great video to come out for me right now I've been socially trans for a few years now with online friends (And Have come out to a few of my friends IRL) and I've been wanting to try and go forward and get gender therapy this summer, or just therapy in general to figure out more about myself, and to do that I have to communicate with my mom. I wanted to push and move forward DAYS ago but I keep hesitating and doing more research and doubting myself. I like just recently yesterday thought about "Am I Actually Trans? Or is it some other problem I'm going through that I haven't figured out yet" or "Will I regret being trans?" So many questions, but this made me feel a little better- Thanks Icky!

i dissociated for years and kinda knew at the back of my head but it took someone else to point out all my issues and ask me why i felt that way to actually realise i was trans

"because you became a person" kinda hurts for now T.T

The editing on this vid is super slick. Thumbs up editor!

This is so important! Any label you identify with is up to you x It can change over time! But if you're looking for it and researching it... then maybe 😅 You got to explore it, or don't...that's up to you. But it's there x And that's okay! It's okay to be you 💕 And it's your choice and you are in control x

Thank you Icky, last few days I was thinking "Maybe I'm just getting it all wrong and I'm just a really feminine man". Now I feel more confident about my decision ❤

I knew things were wrong, and that I felt very different from my male friends, but back in the early 80's there was literally no available info, unless you already knew what trans was. But in 85, at age 15, I read my first newspaper article about a trans girl's transition. I must have read it a dozen times in a row. From that day to this I've known categorically I am trans. And very happy about it, too.

I came out to my dad today, and he asked basically when did I know, and I explained it like, it’s like someone is following you, there not really threatening or anything but far away, you know they’re there, but it’s not really an issue because they’re always far away, then one day, for a moment or two, there just a few people behind you in the checkout line, then it goes back to normal, with them being really far away, and you don’t think about it, then boom! They jump out from behind a wall and start talking with and it turns out it want another person at all! It was you, as your correct gender

I knew for sure when I was 2. Because of society, I waited until I had the resources to transition smoothly. I’m glad society is ready for us now.

I'm not trans. I just found you wanting to learn more about what being trans is about. There's so much misinformation and misunderstanding when it comes to trans people. I wanted to sort these things out on my own. Trans people reading this... You're valid. You're a good man/woman.

Oh crap.. you said something and it hit me HARD. "Everything becomes normalized, and that's where all the best parts of life come from, WHEN YOU CAN START FOCUSING ON OTHER THINGS." Crap. I've been focusing on this since (longer than comfortable admitting.) Oh my god.

every single minute, i think "maybe im not trans or im just confused" and then i remember im watching an icky video

I'm not a trans person but I love Ickys videos and I love how candid and honest she is about her journey. I always like the vids to help the algorithm because I just hope that her videos show up on the suggested feed of a young trans kiddo who feels lost and alone to remind them they don't have to feel that way

As a cis individual, I really enjoy your content. Both because you're an awesome, entertaining person and because this particular kind of content helps to inform, challenge and reinforce different opinions of mine.

I would but i can't because i would lose everything because of my parents

I'm a cis, white, hetero, male who is almost 60 years of age. He, him, his pronouns. I have no questions about my own gender identity. I am watching this video because I'm actually doing research for an original character I have an idea for for in my own comic universe. She has a lot of questions about her gender identity and her sexual orientation. I'm not going to get into why and what that has to do with her character's abilities and that sort of thing. But I will say her abilities do play a role in her questioning herself. What I LOVED about this video is how you talk about what you had been thinking about and some of your "aha" moments on your journey. I really got a lot out of that. So thank you for sharing this part of your journey. This really helps a lot. I've watched many transgender videos and this is the first one that gets into this. Perhaps i haven't watched enough of them yet. I also myself had not asked the question, "How does one know if they're transgender?" As a cis person, why would I ever think to ask that question? The answer is, I wouldn't because I've never had that question about myself and no one I know has ever come out to me as a transgender person. So, it's only through research I'm able to learn about all of this. I find it all quite interesting. I also wanted to applaud you for being courageous enough to share this information. This topic, I've learned, is quite misunderstood by many. If one hasn't ever gone through this journey themselves or known anyone who has, how would they know much about it? That said, it seems many people find it easier to hate or deny what they don't understand rather than try to learn more - which is really sad to me. All that to say, thank you. I wish you much love and success on your journey. Thanks again for sharing. P.S. First time watcher and now new subscriber to your channel. 🏳‍🌈🏳‍⚧

I've been on HRT for nearly a year now, but I desperately needed this affirmation and reassurance today 💕 I especially loved that last bit about when it all just becomes your new normal, and you get to finally live as a woman and not as a man trying to become a woman. That's the struggle I've been living with lately, but I can't wait to get through it and settle into my new life!

I needed this so much ❤️ keep up the good work

im trans... but idk i have a lot of imposter syndrome

Great video! I'm really excited about this: the calm scene setting, the playful and beautiful animations, your voice, you showing so much self-confidence and resting within yourself, a perfect shot! Thank you 🫶

I think the moment it all clicked for me was when I thought to myself, “I would use she/her pronouns if I could, but I can’t because I’m not feminine enough” and all at once it hit me that what I had just described was dysphoria

This is targeted transgender advertising

"EGG CRACKED!" 5:38

I just spent like 8 hours on r/egg_irl and I’ve been thinking I’m trans for a while now, and after looking at all of the stuff on there and seeing so many of your videos I think I’m starting to see myself and understand myself more, so thank you so much for helping me figure out more about who the person I’ve been so desperately been trying to be, myself ❤

Came out to my mum yesterday about being transgender, she is incredibly supportive :D Thankyou Icky and Finn your videos helped me get through some rough times

I'm just a gynosexual male here to support and learn :) I've had my own journey of discovery to get where I am at this point. Crossdressing was a part of that for awhile, thoughts of transitioning, and genuine interest in feminine things and activities. But all that helped me understand that I am just a guy who loves females and femininity (Gynosexual) Anyways... enough of me rambling, I'm just here to say that I support ALL of you in your journey, wherever it may take you.

Bruh everyone disassociates when looking at mirrors, wdym?

SO glad you make such supportive content

That Icky Lore graphic thou 🔥

Did you click this? I have some news for you

why am i watching this... why am i doubting myself????? im def cis...

currently 6 months deep on HRT, MTF, and in therapy to deal with coming to terms with it. Definitely needed this video in my life.

The icky lore transition is hilarious

Me: Genderfluid 🤟🏳️‍⚧️✌️

I've accepted the fact that I prefer she/her pronouns for myself, but I still struggle to actually think of/call myself a woman? Does anyone else feel like this?

I got a spur-of-the-moment idea to buy plane tickets and indeed come see both you and Finn on Sat...! But someone I care about invited me to their birthday already that day; so I'll have to see you both some other time. Be there in spirit...! Thank you for everything you do. Have fun!

I knew I was different for a long time, but I only really learned what I was after turning 13. Been in transition for the last year and a half now, and am in the process of prepping for the surgical side and getting everything cleared, and sorting out the prerequisites. I used to have some chronic depression, but now, I am much happier with my life and will not regret it. I have lived as a woman for the past 5 years. Best of luck for anyone going through this kinda thing, and remember, be yourself. If you feel you cannot be yourself as you are, ask yourself why? if your current gender/sex is part of the issue, then you might just be trans. For me, it played a significant factor, the only question I had left to ask myself was, am I just a femboy, or am I actually trans? I had to ask myself a follow up, can I be happy with what I have now? The answer was no, I can live with it, but not happily. That answered my question, I am trans. Questions like that helped me decide to pursue my transition. That has been my experience. Love your skirt ICKY

When she said "and that's where all the best parts of life come from, when you can start focusing on other things (...) because you became a person" it hit really hard.

The advice that I always give is to not worry about the question of whether or not you're trans, and to instead just think about specific things that you do or don't want, and then just do that. Ask yourself if you want to do HRT, or laser, or voice training, or FFS, and then do or don't do them. You can spend decades obsessing over the question of whether or not you're trans, and still not come to a conclusion, because you don't fit the narrative of the trans experience that you've been sold by unaware cis people, about what the trans experience actually is. I spent many years wishing I was trans so that I could be a girl, and worrying that because I wasn't "trans enough", HRT would give me reverse dysphoria Being MTF isn't playing with Barbies as a kid, or trying on your mom's clothes, or something you can infer based on your personality or interests, it's the discomfort you feel around having male features, and wanting to have female ones. You don't need to hate your genitals to be truly trans, and nobody really "feels like a girl", and doubts are very common among true trans people. We often doubt our transness because a "real" trans person wouldn't hesitate to start HRT, or would feel worse than we do, or would have known earlier, or wouldn't feel embarrassed to talk about it, but these aren't really true, and are very common doubts If you want to do HRT, you can just do it. After you get past the initial hurdles of getting HRT, it just becomes your new normal and it's not scary at all, and you wonder why you didn't just do it earlier. You don't even need to use the "trans" label

The setup in the end looks so cool!

You and your videos have helped me so much mentally and have really helped me feel comfortable and confident in transitioning!! Thank you so so much I owe you my life and happiness ❤

Love the bloobily bloops in the transitions

My thoughts and fears for being trans: being hated in the world for it, Hating myself for it, not being able to find someone who’s going to want to be with me

The tiny "avenge me" xD Edit: I went back to rewatch what she said. F*ck I'm trans

every single time i look at one of icky i become so extremely happy! keep it going icky, love you!!!

I was gonna say "I already know"... but you basically said the same thing. I also spent a good chunk of my life not knowing what dysphoria is, but when I was around 18, I figured it out. I actually started off thinking I was an enby, but around 2 years later, I realized that nope, I'm trans. It's a tough thing to go through for sure, but it's good when you have supportive people in your life. My voice came to me pretty easily, I didn't really have to train. So yeah, you basically said exactly what I was thinking.

Idk if you know just how inspiring you rlly are

This channel is a god given gift for a cis dude like me, who has transgender brother. Really interesting to hear about this and how people realise it

okay.. "I thought it was normal to dissociate when you look at yourself too long in a mirror".. that hit me hard.

Your summer hair looks amazing you should keep it all the time ❤jerry