Freaks me out too! To think that we can feel our mother's emotions when we're in the womb and how that imprints onto our developing nervous system, and how much co-regulation and attunement is needed for us to develop self-soothing skills for later on in life.. We need a nervous system revolution for future generations!

It does The more one learns the more how everything is in twined with one another

i never got a driver's licence. maybe you should question your assumption that getting a licence is just something you do, you know, if your kids like breathing but not so much catching on fire

don't overthink it. Just give them lots of love and be there for them. We all wouldn't be here if it was too hard. And nobody's perfect, no one can raise "the perfect child". It's not about that. It's about having children and loving them every day. If it stresses you out that much, leave it be. Not everyone needs to procreate.

@K G It's ok to not have children. Sometimes I worry about what kind of people mine will become. But I have more wonder than worry. I did grow up with a rather bad home environment. And even though I know I'm not perfect, I intend to give my children much of what I didn't have. And to not give them the stresses and fears that I had. I think they'll turn out fine. And I think they will be fun, happy, interesting people. Hopefully they will bring good to mankind. But I do agree that raising children is tough. And not for everyone.

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Your joke is too complicated

.7z my dude

.7z has better compression. Files end up smaller, but go off.

I'm too dumb explain

I’m sorry to read that André. Been through the same and totally understand your pain only unlike you I didn’t seek a therapist. Stay well ☀️

I finally got to meet mine at the age of 45, which answered a few questions that I had always had. Unfortunately, she died just before Christmas. But, at least I had the opportunity to meet her 4 times.

Mystee Pulcine I'm going to assume your working together with appropriate professionals and define successful as happy, so it sounds like he's got a pretty good shot. Emotional healing like that takes a lot of time, work, and - most importantly - love. Good luck!

I'll just say one thing, be soft on him and make sure you don't put him in too many therapy situations, because I myself don't trust therapists or anyone like that and I personally find that they actually hinder me, although that's me so I can't say the same for your son. I'm 13, by the way.

Sending positive thoughts your way! There is always more to learn about our nervous systems, and very promising work coming out of the Somatic Experiencing field.

Mystee Pulcine there is hope.. hold on to it and in the name of love,don't let go..❤ all the best to you and your little Prince❤

Mystee Pulcine Speaking as someone on the spectrum, I'd say the most important thing is that you are reliably honest and reliably kind. Nothing makes a person more difficult for an autistic person to talk to than one they have to interpret and navigate socially, because there's always a big step of translation between them and you which makes any communication much more difficult, especially in times of stress. Make yourself straightforward to communicate with by being clear, kind and honest and that should help with making you a secure person to talk to. Listen to the issues he has, respect them and work with him to make sustainable solutions. Recognise that the aspects where he struggles, while he may improve, will always come and go. Help him to be someone who sees these traits matter-of-factly and who incorporates them without issue into his daily life. Understanding oneself and that one is truly understood and listened to by others goes a long way to solving the isolation and uncertainty in daily life faced by most people on the spectrum, and will go a long way towards achieving the life he wants to live securely and happily.

Claire Knight i agree 100%

I need to do those to my parents I would feel terrible if I didn't

Claire Knight agreee. I always feel bad because my mom is an emotional person and she tells me she loves me a lot, but I just can't say it back :/

perhaps they're reading your comment right now :0

Anna Simms I agree 150%

Naw, not really, my parents were loving. My bf though, was neglected by his stupid mother.

Amen to that.....sadly some mothers don't want the full 1.5 years. They want to go back to work right away.

Wow ! A year and a half? That is great. I live in the US where we get exactly zero days of guaranteed maternity leave. Where I work we get 6 to 12 weeks off. It's totally pathetic by comparison, but it's fairly standard here.

Am I right in thinking in Russia the baby is taken away from the mother at birth and she isn't allowed to see take him home for days, she even goes home without him. Right? Also it doesn't matter if the primary care giver is male or female, you can have a "good enough mother" or a "good enough other"

@@Rabbitthat where did you hear that from? im pretty sure thats not the case, but i have to ask my mom and yeah nobody is saying that only mother should care for child, but its a cultural thing, we have a pretty conservative people. i wonder if its in the law itself tho

@@fool4343 Some Russian friends told me, however this was about 6 years ago and I think I might be remembering it wrong.

BigMobe Relatable.

derrik tie Agreed. Just because you had the bad fortune of having shitty experiences doesn’t give you a reason or excuse to pass it on to someone else and continue the cycle

@@SerDerpish I'm so proud to say that my coursed bloodline shall die with me

@@matheussanthiago9685 wish I could say the same

Pretty similar here but I don't avoid it purposely, I'm just not driven to attachment or relationships. I also feel like life is is happier and simple without people needing to be in my life. Its the often overwhelming feeling of "I can't be bothered" when I feel obligated to make an effort, but often that in itself wears me down and makes me tired to the point of loosing interest. My friends know I'm like that and don't push, also they pick up my share of the slack lol

Same

Wow I didn't know other people also felt this way. I've been living most of my life unhappy about not being able to form attachments or thinking that my attachments were shallow but when I stepped back from trying to force it, I started to feel unburdened and happier. Although I frequently wonder how unhealthy this behavior is, I still feel so much better than before.

Probably that your earliest interactions with fellow humans (the parentals) were largely to your detriment, which effected your ability to positively interact with your peers. And that once you stopped forcing yourself to socialize/were in a position to minimize socialization, you were able to relax from the near-constant anxiety that caused you (among any other effects your experiences have caused). This then had a positive effect on your overall health (stress really can kill; emotional and mental stress can't help but effect the body housing our brains). It's pretty logical to me. It's not some weird unheard-of phenomenon (and I hope no one's making you feel that it is). Perhaps someday you'll have built back up the mental energy resources to "people" again, no longer being depleted and/or being able to heal from unhealthy experiences. Or you'll just continue to enjoy the freedom of your solitude, which is reasonable enough.

👍 i can so relate to this. my ‘normal’ is technically abnormal by modern standards which makes me wonder how i can ever get over this

So true!

Many children separate from"parents"at the norder are not related to the "parents". There is a lot of child trafficking going on and we shouldn't act like these people are the parents unless there is documentation/resemblance to say so.

Missy Be The thing is, so many people aren’t even given an opportunity to provide documentation, or the documentation they have is ignored, and people who are here 100% legally are deported and separated from their children anyway. (This is based on detainments and deportations in families I’ve known personally and interacted with frequently, not internet claims.) I’m all for punishing human traffickers, but we need to know that they’re actually human traffickers instead of relying on racial profiling and adopting a “guilty until proven innocent” approach with every person who looks and speaks differently and has contact with a child. That approach is why real families are being broken up every day. I’d also add that, while I don’t think you had bad intentions, it’s harmful to reply to someone who’s expressing concerns over children’s well-being with a different argument that draws attention away from the original statement about the treatment of those children. Human trafficking is a very serious problem, but if our government’s actions were really about the well-being of children, they wouldn’t be locked up in cages being treated as subhuman. These arguments are being used in a manipulative way to divert people’s attention and to justify separating children from their real families and caregivers, locking them up in literal cages, and severely neglecting and abusing them. There have been child deaths as a direct result of our government’s actions. When we focus on claims of trafficking and debates over documentation, we can very easily fail to remember that children are still experiencing human rights violations, just at the hands of government officials instead. (And that’s the point, isn’t it? People doing terrible things don’t want attention on those terrible things.) We can turn a blind eye to the systematic abuse of power happening at the hands of our elected officials because we focus instead on the abuse of individuals. But just as we should hold human traffickers accountable for abuse and neglect, we should hold our own government accountable for abuse and neglect. It’s no more acceptable just because they’re in a position of authority. It should never just be us against them in such complex, serious situations. That’s how innocent families and children get hurt. It should be us against any abuse of power. It should be us for protection of children from any threat. Because like OP pointed out, what’s happening at the border (and throughout the U.S. to an extent) is seriously psychologically damaging and dehumanizing to children, and it’s unacceptable. Thanks for coming to my TED talk

It's a risk illegal immigrants should consider before crossing the border

@Dean Thorence what are you even talking about

Or, you can actualize as a human and grow. I hope it gets better for you.

​@@johnk4934 ew who tells someone who had a stressful event to "like, have you tried get over it?" That's not how humans work

Me too! I think that's addiction theory :P

++

+

I think that's exactly what happens - it tells a lot about how good Hank is at surrounding himself with geniuses :-)

Science with Katie One minute of content probably takes 5 hours of research, one hour of writing and editing, 5 minutes of shooting and probably one hour of video editing. The bottleneck is in the research and content development. From the variety of topics and writing styles l bet you $1 they rotate their writers or do part-time recruitment. Then comes the video editing which ranks second in terms of time consumption. That’s why l think they have a really, really consistently good producer who does it full time. So a bunch of writers that keep the pipeline full is the key to so much content. The rest will follow.

I can't finish my day without Scishow dose

More exposure to a Mother with emotional problems is not necessarily a good thing.

Both comments are valid, but I'd also add that this is another good reason to lessen the 40 hour workweek

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That would require a world where government and employers care about the well-being of workers.

@@DarkMoonDroid in Slovakia, we have therefore a 3years paid mpther leave. First 8months you get your full wage, after that its about half the average wage of Slovakia. And the employer must guarantee you a job position thats equal to what you had before, once you return back. Retirement plans and health insurance is paid by the government during this time. And even after those three years, if you have a sick child, you can stay longer, until your child is 6, only without getting paid (but healt insurance and retirement plans are covered by the state still)

preClassic relatable

Eh what?

Yup I know that one

That's why I got rid of mine long ago...

Sounds like you have a narcissistic mother, too. Welcome to the club. It's kind of a sucky club, but once we identify the problem (NOT us!) it makes it a lot easier. Once you learn to set limits with the narcissist and stick to them it will get better. My mother stopped mistreating me after 45 years when I just started getting up and walking out on her when she started picking on me. After a few years of only seeing me on her birthday and Mother's Day and she got a LOT nicer to me. Any time she's nasty to me now I just disappear for six months.

Shrimp , Drew’s Mom sounds like a self centered a hole.

Wow, her mom barely visited cause she didn't want get attached to her own child cause she thought baby will not survive. Something tells me that's not the only reason they don't get along well. Her mom is probably self-cenered narcissist

palacinkasmarmeladou ... you hit the jackpot with your last three words -bingo! But even narcs are kinda made that way... something bin her past hurt her mum, and so the cycle goes... some ppl shut down entirely... who are we to judge xx Jesus Christ has paid for every sin except that of unbelief. He loves us and died for us. Will anyone reading this believe in Jesus Christ..? God bless you

Tom Bowers Gosh, I wanna cry Tom. So happy for you 💕

IKR?

Ren your last sentence is sooo debatable.

Your comment seems as if you are faulting people who rue over their mental health on their internet as being part of the reason why there is a stigma towards mental health. I hope that you spend some time reflecting on that statement.

@@emily-hj2hh Ohno, i didnt mean that at all!!!Ijust meant that like, talking to your friends about their mental health is super important, and even if its hard we shpuld all try and watch out for each other irl in the same way we as a community are watching out for one another here. For sure a lot of work needs to be done IRL to make talking about mental health a safer thing that is more well accepted, but i didnt mean to imply that the stigma is somehow the FAULT of the opennes we have about it on the internet!!

Thank for explaining! I am sorry if I made that assumption from your statement, because I loved it, but popping off to me always seems to have a negative connotation when most people use it. I am glad that is not what you meant. I think it is also beautiful to say that we must all work to destigmatize mental health. This is a main goal that I have dedicated most of my time to, and should be a goal for not only those who experience mental health challenges, but everyone who doesn't, because we cannot erase stigma - or my word for it is a bit stronger - by ourselves. It is very tough for myself in the diagnosis I have been handed, the way it has been handled by each professional who doesn't seem to agree on the right methodology, and the reaction by those I do care very much about, larger society, workplaces, even groups are set up through government funding, donors, etc, to how to address the issue of how mental health is treated in society, or in university classes that speak of that issue, so I do understand why it can feel much safer to talk about it on the internet, hoping that others can relate or that we can rid ourselves of how we feel. I never really found that to work, but I do know what the fear is like of expressing to others what is going on, and sometimes see the negative consequences of that. At the same time, I know I have hleped a lot of people, and through everything, figured out things for myself. It does indeed take us all to erase stigma, or in many cases I have seen, dehumanizing descrimination. I do not mean to discourage anyone, just do understand why people choose to hide what is going on. I actually think that even talking about it on the internet is a step that is fairly new. And with internet culture, sometimes that can make it worse, as usually people do not rear such an ugly head about things at least openly when they are not online, and you never know what someone means or if they are just trying to hurt you and make themselves feel more important. It's a whole complicated issue that does require people to step out of their boxes, as far as they are comfortable going, to try to address. I have indeed found friends that had their minds changed and hearts opened, but also people who decided that perhaps I was too complicated a person to have in their lives, or reacted in ways that I had never expected them too upon hearing a diagnosis or watching a person go through very, very, hard times. So there are always risks, but it does teach you who your true friends are and help people who never understood about something to understand and have empathy, and that always had a ripple effect. Making art, writing, music, is both a way to feel better and connect with others. I guess... I have just taken the opposite approach and offered years of volunteering, work, study, speeches, art, writing, etc, with the world, and though I do not regret a single moment, always do have the urge to run and hide, even besides sharing on the internet, and never talk to anyone about anything ever again. For even when things go amazing, whether that is changing a loved ones mind and watching it ripple, or coordinating art shows and running on boards and getting published, hearing the applause of audience or hearing so many say that because of their work their minds were changed forever about something that they had never understand, or having people hug you and thank you because they say you give them hope, whether the outcome seems small or huge, it can always be scary with the judgements of society and the judgement of ourselves. Sorry, that all sounds like a bunch of self righteous bragging, but just wanted to say that it's never easy, whether its talking with one friend or being open publically, which I don't think you were implying but did want to add anyway just because :) And whether or not it seems huge and important or small, even things that seem small are really never small. I just understand the urge to hide it away, as I'm sure pretty much everyone with a mental health challenge feels at least once in their life! Don't venture out much into social media and comments sections, and whenever I do it seems I leave full essays in my wake. Sorry about all that

Breeze sorry to hear that your mom died. It was a bit violent, right?

How are you guys 6 months apart? Combined family?

Vicky Mc That's also why a lot of teenage girls want to have babies, they crave that unconditional love.

Yes, an insecure child is attached to a certain toy/object to replace the parent that is not there for them.

Wow. I never thought of it like that. But I definitely did. My heart was broken when I lost it.

Not necessarily. A special toy like this tends to be a "transitional object" which is a healthy tool in attachment development. In some cases, it's more concerning when a child doesn't have any attachment to a transitional object. It's basically an item that "holds" attributes of a caregiver that the child is attached to when they're away from them. It helps a child to feel a bit more secure when their security figure (the caregiver) is away. If the caregiver is inconsistent in their attunement even when they're with the child, that transitional object may be helpful as well. And, in that sense, the child may be more anxious to keep the transitional object close.

@@SpiralBreeze My stupid dumb ass sister did that at 15 (a few years ago) and she regrets it completely

Me, too. Every relationship I've ever had has gone wrong. Friends, lovers, you name it. I was always faithful and/or trustworthy and I've never gotten anything back for my loyalty but knives in the heart. The ONLY relationship I've ever been able to maintain is my relationship with my son. I made a clear choice to be NOTHING like my narcissistic mother while I was still pregnant. I never left my child for more than ten hours (to work) until he was nearly two, and then it was only for visitation with his father. I made the choice to stay home with him most of the time until he started school, even though it meant we lived below the poverty line. To me, a Mom being home with her child teaching the child how to navigate the world is worth a lot more than a minimum wage job. My son is 32 now and I *still* tell him I love him *every day.* He is, quite literally, the ONLY person in the world who actually matters to me.

Yay! Nice to see great mothers who treasure time with kids.

Ayenate' Lawson I thought it was oops

Ayenate' Lawson it probably helps people find out about their other channels, but I definitely had the same throught.

B_Potassio x2

Devin Johns You have a beautiful outlook on life! Especially for someone who lacked physical affection from your parents. Thank you for your beautiful words.

I hope you are able to find ways to help your brother (and yourself) to feel more secure and to overcome his struggles in the near future. Good luck! I'm rooting for you both 😊

I can really relate to this. My younger sister has clear behavior issues that my family doesn’t have the energy to deal with them/ hopes they will go away with age (she’s already 11), and though now I’m part of a secure, mostly positive home environment, I’m pretty confident in saying the neglect I received in infancy has shaped the person I am today. What just really wanted to say was I really respect and understand what you’re saying. :)

I wish you lots of healing, support, and love

Oh OK I don't really care tbh but u know whatever

Ah, but security in adulthood isn't all about being sure our partner will be there forever, but more like knowing you will be fine regardless because you know you're worthy of love (because you've experienced that before), and also it means you know when to call for help and to whom. Perhaps it could be good to work through therapy these questions you have.

I *really* want to ask if you're hoping she'll grow up to be a vegetable...

@@johnk4934 LOL~~!

How are you now

Stan The man Hmm interesting

Strokes Stefan Chin's chin. 🤔

I'd stroke Chin too ;)

Hang in there, fellow internet stranger. Things will change for the better.

Lift up your eyes to the hills.... from where comes my help... my help only comes from the Lord Jesus Christ of Nazareth, maker of heaven and earth. God bless you 💓

A gentle word to you that if you find religion helps with things, that's cool. But if you're not religious, that's cool too. We live in an infinitely vast universe and we're less significant than a millionth of an atom, but that doesn't mean you have to do or find something incredible to find meaning in life. You don't always have to be a social person to figure your life out. Find a KZfaqr you like, a game you love, a show that makes you laugh, an online friend who seems cool - anything, really. Once you can find out more about yourself and about how other people think, your calmer and rational side will speak louder than your fears.

therapy really works. The newer psychology field of "schema therapy" is a lot about "healing your inner child" which sounds very hippie but it's not. There is a lot of information online about healing the inner child and books and that also really helps with an insecure attachment style. (if going to therapy is not possible right now).

@@Lisa-ny5ke 😊Thank u so much Im having a HARD Time getting the opportunity to even be able to continue to Participate in Therapy the last 8months.😩 So Im researching anything that can help me! Especially if its some type of Therapy! So Although Ive never heard of this technique,🤔 Im definitely going to look into "Schema Therapy" Thanks Lisa this sounds Promising & Im eager to learn about it especially if it can help heal my inner child! 🤗

I think they just put the long ones with lots of effort on the main channel so more people see it. But hey, that's just a theory... Oh wait, wrong channel.

If this was on SciShow Psych, you could say "But hey, that's just a theory... A Brain Theory. Thank you for watching!"

Lol I had a cat like that too but I think I was too affectionate for him and also maybe because cats are empathetic so maybe they just didn't like your energy. I had a lot of anxious energy when I was a teenager so idk...

Lmao

I think that’s just being a cat :P

I don't think human attachment theory is applicable to cats.

I'm eating pizza right now.

@@NolePTR was it good?

1 year later lol

@Meth Monkey official no. Was overpriced and it tastes worse than chains.

Well if you look up colic, that is genuinely a thing..... 'Baby colic, also known as infantile colic, is defined as episodes of crying for more than three hours a day, for more than three days a week, for three weeks in an otherwise healthy child.'

OhSoUnicornly Colic is usually caused by gas. It builds up in the intestines as big bubbles that are difficult to pass. It is uncomfortable and can hurt but isn't dangerous.