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I Can't Stop Obsessing Over My Ex (Attachment Trauma)
Рет қаралды 123,329
Күн бұрын
@ck6639 3 жыл бұрын
A very good coach said “the pain you feel at the end of a relationship is directly proportional to how much you compromised yourself, your goals, your mission.”
@theplansbydan 2 жыл бұрын
This hit hard
@avenuempire 2 жыл бұрын
Damn..
@jennasittler3142 2 жыл бұрын
Godam
@savannahjadehillebrand5618 Жыл бұрын
Brilliant, wow
@albertpatino7089 Жыл бұрын
This is gold.
@kirkv2262 7 жыл бұрын
I've watched this video 20 to 30 times. It really helps me at night, this is usually when I have the worst thoughts going through my head. I hate the who could she be screwing now thoughts. They are the worst , worse than diarrhea :(
@battlefront987 6 жыл бұрын
Kk V I can totally relate. How are things now?
@ravibhartia4797 6 жыл бұрын
Add me let's be friends
@mattykay1137 5 жыл бұрын
ravi bhartia How do you become friends on here ?
@teesahurt2074 5 жыл бұрын
You are funny
@guadalupelomeli6203 5 жыл бұрын
Lol
@ngalahansel6066 3 жыл бұрын
Let's face it,80 percent of the pain co.es from reminiscing over the sex and imagining that what you used to do together is now being done with someone else. Crushes you
@chrisfelan7113 2 жыл бұрын
Ha this is very true
@imissme8313 Жыл бұрын
Wow
@sarahsomebody8684 6 жыл бұрын
That was absolutely brilliant, it made me realise that it’s not my ex I’m missing but the attatchment, now I just need to work on letting go,
@xpaperxcutx4588 4 жыл бұрын
Sarah Somebody hi I’m writing this two years later from when you posted but I totally agree with what you said, did it ever for you and did you ever get back with your ex or found a more fulfilling relationship?
@wanderertatiana2498 3 жыл бұрын
Good question
@sarahsomebody8684 3 жыл бұрын
S H thanks for your reply. I’ve remained single and am working on loving myself. My ex lives opposite and will not speak to me so that’s difficult but I’m dealing with it. I now know that I don’t need a man to complete me and I accept things as they are. If I’m meant to fall in love again it will happen if not I’m happy and content with my life sorry for late reply
@sallyruss4574 2 жыл бұрын
Hi Sarah! I found this video and saw your post and just wondered how you're doing now since 4 years ago. I was married from 2000-2017 and now remarried but still haunted by previous memories of my ex husband who did not fight to stop the divorce or fight for me. Just curious how you're doing, if you don't mind sharing. Thank you!!! I'm glad I'm not alone in this.
@Misslotusification 7 жыл бұрын
"A man never throws away his only pair of shoes." Good to remember not to take anything personally.
@johanneskirnbauer6643 3 жыл бұрын
FC l
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li 3 жыл бұрын
Hmm😎
@ahmadrabaa1235 3 жыл бұрын
Lol 😝
@dcdude171 4 жыл бұрын
Yes. I would still be just as traumatized about my ex if I met somebody funnier, kinder, or more beautiful. We spent 5 years together. We traveled, we cared for each other when we were sick, we were there for each other when our pets died, we were there for each other making the transitioning between college in the real world. Our favorite songs, our sing alongs, our shared interests. All gone. That bond is worth more to me then her characteristics.
@GMH9765 4 жыл бұрын
Nathan Norton How are you doing now? I am now only 1 month in and need HOPE that it gets better!!!
@Franzifii 3 жыл бұрын
Same here
@ngalahansel6066 3 жыл бұрын
@@Franzifii how.are.you doing now
@ngalahansel6066 3 жыл бұрын
@@GMH9765 you doing well now?
@Franzifii 3 жыл бұрын
@@ngalahansel6066 Well, I would lie to myself if I'd say I have no more feelings for him but I realized I need to move on because it was just too much pain and there were too many problems originating in my non-fulfilled feelings for him, so I decided that I have to put the friendship on hold for a longer period of time, to heal and be a better friend to him at some point, if I can manage to do that in the future, because he's such a wonderful man and he deserves it. He hurt me a few times without wanting to, but he is still one of my favorite humans and a better friend than most other people will ever be, in my oponion. But us being a couple is maybe not meant to be. Fortunately, I can distract myself with a lot of other things at the moment. Building a career, building other quality relationships, interests, and so on. I think I will be ok. What about you?
@danielc81 6 жыл бұрын
I feel like im dieing. Im too depressed to even function normally. I just want this to stop
@michellpalacio4 6 жыл бұрын
I feel the same way. I just want it stop I don’t want to feel sad anymore.
@lossennedlorwen 6 жыл бұрын
Same
@ravibhartia4797 6 жыл бұрын
Same
@agee6679 5 жыл бұрын
Same💔
@mura0 5 жыл бұрын
+1
@trannongoble7722 7 жыл бұрын
You, sir, are a genius. You hit the nail on the head. It still hurts like hell, but you cleaned my clock. Everything ... nailed it. It's like you were reading my mind. I wish there was a pill to take get take away the pain though.
@rudyforte5617 7 жыл бұрын
Trannon Goble I
@106FMCatt 6 жыл бұрын
#Truth
@juanito3821 6 жыл бұрын
Wish there was a pil to wipe my memories clean
@Candlelight787 6 жыл бұрын
Follow up - how are things going for you today?
@Brandon.Lee._ 6 жыл бұрын
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind . Only if !
@eddiesantiago7971 8 жыл бұрын
this is the best relationship coach and break up expert.... by miles
@isabelvaldez6622 Жыл бұрын
the answer for me is no - meeting someone better won't make me happy or change my outlook.
@kursengamer4699 4 ай бұрын
me neither. My anxious attachment would have me already thinking about when they/new partner would leave! everyone betrays me and leaves for another! why would this seemingly great new partner stay when there have already been others just as great?
@staceyswope3438 6 жыл бұрын
Rock bottom. It’s a great foundation. Hang on, everyone!!
@android1012 6 жыл бұрын
THAT is great, Stacey! Needed that today, thank you. :)
@tonismith8209 5 жыл бұрын
You are so beautiful! Don't worry. Some hot guy will sweep you off your feet before long. You'll be ok ☺
@rossphillipgerard 3 жыл бұрын
LOL nice
@tonismith8209 5 жыл бұрын
I grew up in a stable upper middle-class home with 2 parents that loved me and gave me almost everything I wanted. I was never neglected or abused. I don't have a lot of unmet needs. And he was a complete asshole. I don't know why I can't stop thinking about him...
@Melzee620 4 жыл бұрын
Toni Smith same!
@wanderertatiana2498 3 жыл бұрын
Not same here, but this is the first time in my life I've obsessed over someone!he ain't even special, but he was the most I've ever felt loved by someone not in my family. And it's been 3 years and I still miss him badly.
@tonismith8209 3 жыл бұрын
@@wanderertatiana2498 I know it may sound crazy, but try this. Can't explain it but this helped me so much. I barely think about him anymore kzfaq.info/get/bejne/iK1mq7OAlZy5pIE.html
@a.a.d.6374 3 жыл бұрын
Look up intermittent reinforcement
@samia6888 Жыл бұрын
@@wanderertatiana2498 how are you now
@jesseboggis2449 7 жыл бұрын
my friends probably think i'm fine with the break up as i put on a brave face, seem happy round them and don't talk about it. little do they know deep down its killing me and when i'm alone my minds constantly going over what i done wrong, what i could have done better and if I've lost her forever. if i met the girl of my dreams tomorrow yeah id be over the moon but there's no way i still wouldn't be sad about losing my ex and still think about her all the time.
@ekamnoor7201 7 жыл бұрын
its never easy bro but we can't bet our important time of life in the dreams which went wrong or did not come true. You guys broke up it is the reality now and deep down u know it too that even if u get her back there's not gonna be the same spark in the relation as it used to. and whtever u did wrong you gotta embrace that it was you who did it and made the choice and if you regret that choice of what you did then you should learn from that mistake and be a better person to build a better relation with a better partner.
@pacomar1970 6 жыл бұрын
Hey guys!! Is there room for one more broken heart? Well thats how i feel about my situation right now.i was married fir twenty two years i have a daughter she is twenty years old Ever since my wife divorced me about a year ago, i feel if my world is coming to an end I feel exactly the same way you guys describe your selfs. I thank Craig for making this video it is amazing. I would appreciate any comments on what’s working for you guys...thanks God bless.
@mattykay1137 5 жыл бұрын
Hi I’m Mathew It would be great too Make some friends 👍🏻
@PriyankaGupta-ew1li 3 жыл бұрын
How are things now man?
@kaseydunn3192 2 жыл бұрын
Same
@socalguy97 5 жыл бұрын
All true here. My fiancé of two years left. I was the avoidant in a smothering relationship, and now I’m the one suffering. Little sleep. Can’t eat. Lost 14 lbs in 8 weeks. Can’t focus on work. Can’t go out on new dates and enjoy them. Therapy is no help. Talking to friends has served little purpose. It’s hell. I can’t make any of this stop. I’m not even sure what to do anymore.
@wes25 4 жыл бұрын
How are you now
@ngalahansel6066 3 жыл бұрын
How are you doing now.one year later?
@socalguy97 3 жыл бұрын
@@ngalahansel6066 That was almost two years ago now. I started on Prozac a little over a year ago and that helped me tremendously. It changed my life. My ex comes to mind every now and again, but it doesn’t affect me one way or the other. I feel free.
@ngalahansel6066 3 жыл бұрын
@@socalguy97 Awesome! I hope in a year from now I'll also feel free and not have this pang of pain rush through my heart when I picture her with him again
@oliviabb73849 Жыл бұрын
Would love an update four years later lol ❤
@LesiureBoy 5 жыл бұрын
I'm going on 3 1/2 years and I'm still pathetically addicted to my ex. Dude, this is a nightmare and it's not even funny anymore:(
@Rocket9944 4 жыл бұрын
It sucks...
@derrickhart1976 4 жыл бұрын
I relate, man. We gotta build our own good life.
@juliecarter7772 4 жыл бұрын
me too 💔
@Nozverah2 4 жыл бұрын
It's been since 2013 & I still feel guilt & remorse
@aselalovesjoy7368 3 жыл бұрын
I can totally relate to that! 3yrs 8mo
@jarmelo2006 7 жыл бұрын
were all screwed.
@ravibhartia4797 6 жыл бұрын
Yeah
@leahc8347 4 жыл бұрын
Absolutely.
@kellegeez 3 жыл бұрын
😫😫😫
@jarmelo2006 3 жыл бұрын
@@kellegeez I felt that...😔😔😔🌙
@liviantus 3 жыл бұрын
Lol
@shirleytorres339 3 жыл бұрын
When you said it’s like they turned off the Faucet they loved you then they didn’t anymore ☹️! It just shut off.
@harebell6850 7 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much. This was very helpful and i'm beginning ti understand what my obsessing is all about. My ex left after 30 years and is in a new relationship and I just feel overlooked, forgotten and disrespected.
@samia6888 Жыл бұрын
How are you now
@mrzahkriisos2457 5 жыл бұрын
I lost my mother at a young age and he made me feel safe like id never have felt before, it may of been a false sense of security but this all makes sense and i already feel better!
@sallyruss4574 2 жыл бұрын
Thank you for posting. I'm 52 year old female was married from 2000-2017. Remarried now but still consumed with memories of my time w/my ex. The man I'm with now is very loving and caring. I know the marriage was not good. He is a non-practicing Muslim and I'm a Christian. I had a lot of attachment to him as we spent many years together. We went on amazing vacations and he was very clean/neat but I guess basically that's all there was. Being a middle-eastern man, his culture taught the men to think "like men" and not really care/be interested in women's emotions. Anyway, there's more but I've already written enough and it is helping me heal. God Bless You!
@earthman0x 3 жыл бұрын
"if tomorrow you would meet a hotter, sweeter, funnier, richer, more educated partner. Someone more pleasant to be around, more engaging.. would you be as traumatized?" This hit me! Thanks a lot Coach Craig, you always give enlightenment for someone going through the break up. Still not finish with the workbook, hope I can save enough to get coaching with you soon!
@bch5758 2 жыл бұрын
I’m imagining that’s who my ex girlfriend thinks she has met ..she ditched me by text after 4 years - without any sign of an issue.. I loved her so much
@danielreynolds2748 Жыл бұрын
@@bch5758 we deserve someone who deserves us, and that’s hard for me to say based on the fact that I’m working myself day and night to not think about a girl I thought was the one. I keep trying to remind myself that we deserve to be appreciated, and we truly do.
@yishihara55527 Жыл бұрын
@@bch5758 It's a brutal world. Women are biologically programmed to monkeybranch. I know a guy worth around $10M. His wife left him for a guy worth $200M.
@hardvibes 5 жыл бұрын
If she's with someone else (and if she's happy) how can she think about me? Let'S face the truth, she doesn't
@angelsdosing1741 5 жыл бұрын
Maybe. But you are forever part of her life history. That cant be erased. When the chips are down in a relationship, her mind will drift back to you. You may probably never know about. BUT if you go on to find new love, or if you live an exciting passionate life with or without someone, thats gonna sting a bit for her. Plus she carries the burden of knowing she ended it, you didnt. March on, find your best life. Best wishes.
@SpicySoulX 4 жыл бұрын
I know right. It might be an evil way of seeing it but... I hope she hates the "new guy" and regrets breaking up with me, but i doubt that will ever happen
@HerbalistGG 4 жыл бұрын
@@SpicySoulX it will , human nature craves for new exicements, new life changes , " wanted to be free" but when you get it all in once you feel like you are lost you don't belong here and immedality want to go back , but when you get slowly naturally you fell in love and make bond together like all long term relationships then people got too close they know everyting it becomes "routin" so they sabotage things then cycle returns to new exicements and so on so on, there is 2 choice , one is you will become to master manipulator and learn when to pull back , give attention, dissaper ,and love and hurt at the same time to shake things around and keep them emotional so they don't get bored when you think if i only love her truly she will be "happy" , and second is you will deattach from another human being so you will not be hurt when it is over , but at the end women does not need love , it is just on movies , they need chaos drama attention , they are slaves of their emotions , if you keep them in one emotion they will try to find "new exicetement" , you gonna stir up the waters to keep them interested or you will get abandoned
@cinneadken 4 жыл бұрын
@@HerbalistGG This is actually not a million miles off the mark. Creating new emotional waves is part of it, basically wanting to say "I am looking for attention"...
@ubersoldado 3 жыл бұрын
@@HerbalistGG yeah, i was the new guy and i didn't know it at the tlme. she was with her bf for two years, dumped him for me then dumped me for him. shit's crazy.
@danapple9000 3 жыл бұрын
A person can grow up with love and security and still feel like they want to just die after a love break up. The solution for me is that I developed a passion for art and painting during my entire life. I can fall back on that when I get hurt so badly. I neglected my art and my own life needs during my love for another person. I couldn't breathe when she left me. During the affair I watched my phone like a crazy person. I lived to see her face pop up with a message or phone call. I am so glad to be over that. I still hurt but it is getting better. You guys can get better too. Just get into yourself and things you love to do that have nothing to do with another person.
@kirkv2262 7 жыл бұрын
Great video! I just want to forget about her and move on to someone else better .
@AzureScorch 6 жыл бұрын
"I wonder how your feelings about the break up would change if I told you tomorrow you would meet a hotter, sweeter, funnier, richer girl[...]" However that's the thing. I fell out with my ex over a year ago. I've met someone better for me. But it hasn't changed anything. I still obsess over my ex. Alternative scenarios play out in my head constantly. I shouldn't still be crying about it today, a year later, in the company of my new partner.
@CameroneProductions 6 жыл бұрын
0x007fff - No, you shouldn't. Be grateful you have someone at all. Still an empty bed over here 😕 But it says to me that you didn't grieve that last loss properly. And I hate to say it but the only way to do it is to revisit it...in your mind that is. I wish you luck. ¥
@Hannah-vw8xd 3 жыл бұрын
could it just be your guilt? did you cheat on the ex with the new partner?
@beatweezl 5 жыл бұрын
So great Craig, thank you. I do feel better after watching your videos.Very therapeutic. Takes the edge off my pain while distracting me and educating me at the same time. Made me realize that I was missing the attention I needed when I was a child and this is why I am so deeply affected although is not easily replaceable. I've never felt this strongly about anyone before. She is very unique and special.
@bobbyennis52 4 жыл бұрын
YOU SAVED MY LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I WAS HAVING SUICIDAL THOUGHTS BUT KNOW MORE NOW THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOU ARE GREAT OF WHAT YOU DO11111111
@JomariGuitarTV Жыл бұрын
coach Craig all i want to say is THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HELPING US TO GET HEALED , your explination is wonderful.
@btstakescareofmewhenimsick4892 2 жыл бұрын
I grew up in a big, loving family. I never felt unloved, or ignored. my mom, my dad and both their families were always around me. Still, breakups leave me devastated, i feel miserable, cry for days, lose apetite, etc.
@lovemecom3832 6 жыл бұрын
all you can do to that is, just accept the fact that you and the person you love is over, and little by little you will move on. someday you will find your happiness.
@staceyswope3438 6 жыл бұрын
LoveMe,com How are doing? Have you and your ex reconciled or have you moved on? I’m 2 months post break up and decided to go no contact this week. I was previously reaching out to him on a limited basis, a couple times a week, and he responded, but never initiated. I’ve been focusing on me and improving myself, but I miss him.
@uaintme6419 5 жыл бұрын
@@staceyswope3438 What happened then stacey?
@lilneeq 6 жыл бұрын
It's exactly what happened to me.My ex dumped me out of the blue.He says our personalities didn't match (Whatever,that means)I'm sure he'd been plotting it for a while.He said we should remain friends....As if.... Thanks Craig for the advice
@anitalennox6525 4 жыл бұрын
This video is really helpful thank you, brilliant!! My partner did just this 2 months ago and I felt exactly like that - worse he was with a young pretty girl weeks after x
@kaseydunn3192 2 жыл бұрын
You’re the best. I love how incorporate psychology into it and explain it so well.
@Natalie-fo9pm 2 жыл бұрын
I broke up with him because he never valued me and disrespected me and my daughter . Never felt important and communication wasn’t happening or if it was he was too scared to become vulnerable and share his feelings. So I in turn filled in the blanks and couldn’t deal with it . I loved him and still do 🙁 but I felt like a broken record and there was no compromise or wanting to grow and be a team . I feel like 💩 panicked because I have an anxious attachment style . I really needed to hear this today . Thank you … I knew there was a reason why I kept leaving though I usually panicked once day 6 or 7 came along .
@samchakriya9634 3 жыл бұрын
You helped me a lot, most importantly I understand more about people.
@diandrra1 3 жыл бұрын
I feel relieved now. I wish I can remember this video so that I don't have to go through pain again. A cheater ex does not deserve any sympathy.
@FreddyGaming 5 жыл бұрын
It's been 1.5 months since she dumped for another guy. Last week we went out on a date, which led to her been pissed off because I didn't drive her home (she fucked a guy 4 days after we broke up). After talking with her I realized that she is a sad person that has problems with her life she started smoking and drinking after our break up. I came to the realization that night that I don't miss "her" as a person but the idea of having a shoulder to lean on in life which I didn't as I was growing up.
@android1012 6 жыл бұрын
I LOL'd when you said "I think this girl is absolutely clueless when it comes to consciousness & awareness." That was my ex also. Asleep-at-the-wheel. No concept of what they're doing or why they're doing it. She triangulated as well. There was always some clueless dingbat ex in orbit. I'm onto her game now...though it's too late with her, as the devalue has already initiated. ZERO ability to communicate...just avoid, avoid, avoid. All of this knowledge has armed me with a new awareness though - both about myself and working on my issues, and what to look for in a future partner. Thanks Craig & Margaret :)
@robertjelinski5113 6 жыл бұрын
WOW, another five star video. Hit the nail right on the head for me! Long Live Coach Craig. God Bless you!
@sarai72 7 жыл бұрын
Thank you for doing this video. I'm going through a separation from my husband of 13 1/2 years. He's with his new girlfriend that he was cheating with during our last two months of marriage. My heart is broken and can't believe he did this.
@philipzanoni 4 жыл бұрын
Holy cow!!! So well done... even the pause and you looking at us in the camera and the eyes and smile after the long pause all that silence your face was saying a million things really intense message my friend you scored 100 on that one..thank you
@DanievanderLinde 4 жыл бұрын
Just watched this video doing the programme at 3.30am cause I can't sleep and bookmarked it as my number 1 video going forward. Craig this is not only insightful it is literally helped me to get perspective. This is a lifesaver in no uncertain ways. Thank you.
@kita0918 Жыл бұрын
I’m here at 3:43 am lol
@beatweezl 5 жыл бұрын
This makes so much sense and makes me feel so much better. Even though she was an amazing and unique woman that will be very hard to replace.
@bonniewu1 6 жыл бұрын
Karma is going to give him all the pain he gave me 10 times!
@agee6679 5 жыл бұрын
I believe in Karma! I hope the Same for my ex!!!
@freespirit3818 5 жыл бұрын
me too. Hope he gets it back. He broke my heart big time
@SpicySoulX 4 жыл бұрын
I believe in karma as well. She'll pay for what she made me go through.
@BenJones1127 6 жыл бұрын
I'm on video 10 out of 82, and I've already learned sooooo much
@xtiann442 7 жыл бұрын
Damn.. great channel. So much better than some with views in the 100,000k range
@bkekss 7 жыл бұрын
Your insight is genuinely truthful! Thank you kind sir!
@donovankokel1468 4 жыл бұрын
Best video yet. Really opened my eyes to what i'm dealing with. especially at the end when you talk about the girlfriend keeping the toxic ex in the background to keep from getting to close. This is exactly what i am dealing with in my current break up. Hope to have $$ soon to do a skype with you.. working on the workbooks as we speak. Continue the good work it really helps.
@davidnorman2134 Жыл бұрын
Not that it's any easier but reading the comments let's me know I'm not alone in these raw toxic feelings and emotions. I don't think my x even thinks of me, I have no clue how she could be so heartless, it's beyond my comprehension
@stevenduncan1458 5 жыл бұрын
One of the best videos, of yours, that I have watched so far. Although I do not disagree with the unmet needs from your caregivers I think that it can also come from a past long term relationship. I wish I could afford coaching sessions with you, you would have a field day lol. Keep up the great work I think you are one of the best, most "real" coaches that can be found on KZfaq. THANK YOU!
@rossphillipgerard 3 жыл бұрын
You are the best! Thanks for posting these videos!
@samhill7471 5 жыл бұрын
You are so right. I grew up in a wonderful home but neither of my parents ever said I love you. Not to each other or any of their kids. The words were just never spoken. I married the first man who said it to me. It was an enormous mistake and ended in divorce. My recent boyfriend was the most loving, affectionate person I’ve ever been with. He constantly expressed his love by saying it, writing me poetry, physically, etc. So the breakup was a nightmare. And I’ve been obsessed since. He had met someone else. Someone entirely, 100% opposite me and totally wrong for him (I’m not the only person who thinks this). Holding out hope that he gets bored and tired of this toy soon. He brought her to a mutual event we were at this week. He didn’t introduce her to anyone. She sat in her chair most of the night and didn’t speak to anyone because she’s so shy and introverted. He kept leaving her there to go socialize. I was a social butterfly and at least tried to make it appear that I was having a fabulous time all night. I hope I did the right thing.
@jakeking9113 4 жыл бұрын
Ya Craig I really cannot express the relief I actually finely feel After you explained the hotter, funnier, smarter woman theory. I guess I really am just projecting all my sadness and loneliness on my Ex. Heck when I was with her we were pretty unhappy the last year of our relationship anyway. If only I could get rid of these dam anxiety attacks that debilitate me about ten times a day and think clearly again
@itsbritneybitch69 2 жыл бұрын
this is hard because me and my ex could not have got on any better, we would laugh till we cried, we both have the same outlook on life we could tell eachother anything we were like best friends but with smoldering attraction and a great sex life always telling eachother how much we loved eachother, im fucking devestated and broken i love him so much but feel he is on the avoidant/emotionally unavailable side
@russiandrivers9986 6 жыл бұрын
I thought I had it bad but after listening to these poor guys... man.
@hollydrucker9929 5 жыл бұрын
WOW! what insight... you are one smart dude. And i adore Margaret too. Thank you for all the important information.
@Dad_Brad 5 жыл бұрын
One of my favorite videos of Craig's so far.
@christophermccarthy9497 3 жыл бұрын
I wish I had more eloquent words to express how much your videos are effecting my life. You are way better than love advice tv. I wish I could meet you in person one day to shake your Damn hand lol. Thanks man for doing this.
@CoachCraigKenneth 3 жыл бұрын
Thanks Chris! I wasn’t aware we had competition 😉
@KB-hh8rt 3 жыл бұрын
My ex relapsed on meth and left out of the blue so my situation is really different and sucky. But your videos have helped so much, thank you.
@jbjjbb 7 жыл бұрын
It's the same if a good friend breaks up with you. So many people are mean out of jealousy or fear or insecurity.
@paulinelarocco3324 4 жыл бұрын
Excellent analogy I can see so clearly now. Everything you said is so the man I was seeing and he keeps coming back. Now just to learn how to say NO ty
@sheenegeddes9029 Жыл бұрын
This is the best explanation I have ever heard. Thank you
@missmigz6559 2 жыл бұрын
You are so spot on. Thank you for your videos!
@minaknoell2345 2 жыл бұрын
What a great video Craig ur brilliant thank you so much for all u do for us.
@stevenwoods6093 6 ай бұрын
Your a good man Craig... Thank You for helping us...
@nejibyakugankyo 4 жыл бұрын
I wanna say I definitely have some attachment trauma.😀. I cried so hard when I had to think about the unmet needs that were met by him
@doglover4195 3 жыл бұрын
Great Video! This taught me a few things. I made the biggest mistake of my life breaking up with my ex boyfriend. Now he's been married to a Philippine girl for 4 years. If he gets divorced I Pray he will give me another chance!! 💔
@1ncandescence 5 жыл бұрын
But I did throw away my only pair of shoes. :-(
@ms.seipatisekokotoana6694 4 жыл бұрын
me too
@deedee19791 10 ай бұрын
My exes need to watch some of these videos 😂 I’m watching them to understand what’s wrong with them..
@ravinakaushal1265 4 жыл бұрын
Felt like u were reading a script, but I still Feel like u made some really good points from a logical perspective. Definitely made me think 💭 thx
@StGraceofOslo1 7 жыл бұрын
Thank you so much! You were very helpful. May you be blessed.
@thtboirich_ 7 жыл бұрын
Terrific advice coach thanks
@normanorma8505 4 жыл бұрын
The more I watch this video the clearer things are for me .I want my ex back to ease the bottomless pain in my soul to do with a troubled childhood ❤💔💔
@GMH9765 4 жыл бұрын
norma norma Yes, me too. How long is it over for you? I am a month in and still crying ALL the time!
@normanorma8505 4 жыл бұрын
@@GMH9765 4 weeks now yesterday was a tough day .TODAY was much better ❤❤
@GMH9765 4 жыл бұрын
@@normanorma8505 i'm exactly a month in, but still cannot believe this is real. So sudden and unexpected. And I trusted him 1000 percent
@normanorma8505 4 жыл бұрын
@@GMH9765 I can so relate to you.i read on something you dont water a dead flower .The more we dwell on it the harder it is to accept.ive been going to the gym it helps ❤❤
@GMH9765 4 жыл бұрын
@@normanorma8505 Thanks!!
@pennieclinton6567 7 жыл бұрын
I agree with everything u said except I had none of those issues in my childhood but yet this is the first time I cannot get over an ex. In the past I was able to get over everyone in less than two months. Even the father of my son.
@jillmiller682 5 жыл бұрын
Coach, this is one of your best and I want to say thank you for providing this for us. My question is how do you stop obsessing. I understand it comes from childhood but it's been 3 years and I still obsess
@mariannejane1448 5 жыл бұрын
awesome video, answered a few things for me and helped me a lot. Fantastic!
@coleway4318 5 жыл бұрын
this was a very good yarn. I'm subscribing
@lenscapewithbry 5 жыл бұрын
This is so hard for me, I have an anxious and avoidant style. I thought I was getting better but now it’s like a rush of thoughts of my ex and I can’t stop the thoughts
@briannafoss7967 4 жыл бұрын
Same. I do all of the be things: meditate, self soothe, work out, go on new dates, switched careers, picked up old childhood hobbies, made new friends, and I still wake up everyday recently and think about my ex. I go on dates and feel nothing. Ugh. Right now I'm debating moving far away, but I know that wherever you go, there you are. My ❤️ goes out to you.
@lenscapewithbry 4 жыл бұрын
Brianna Foss almost 3 months and still thinking about my ex... i unfollowed her everywhere and she still watches my instagram.. I know she has a new bf 3 weeks after the breakup
@briannafoss7967 4 жыл бұрын
@@lenscapewithbry know what sucks for me? The person I fell for has a public presence. I can't just block a Facebook page. If ever my mind gets curious all I would have to do is Google to see a photo or an update of this person's life, perhaps an interview they just did. And it's been so hard fighting to not do so. Ugh.
@earthman0x 3 жыл бұрын
Does “no contact” also works for an ex with secure attachment style? They have an easy time to form connection so it could be difficult to get them back?
@christopherbullens5494 3 жыл бұрын
this video really helped me in fact all the videos help so much my ex finally reached out by phone after i started watching the video and we talked for five to ten minutes why she was waiting to pick up her kids or so she said i asked her out for dinner she said i can't this week busy hours its not a no so im hoping to get another call thank you for the confidence
@nkipmo1154 6 жыл бұрын
Thank you
@Electronite1978 6 жыл бұрын
My symptoms - not very hungry - silver lining - lost 4 kg in 1,5 months. My sleep is not particularly good as she is on my mind when I should go into bed. Also I rarely feel totally relaxed it is like I am constantly under a stress so I have this anxious feeling the whole day.
@teesahurt2074 5 жыл бұрын
Go get yourself some ANXIETY MED AND THERAPY. IT WORKING FOR ME.
@wes25 4 жыл бұрын
How are u now
@roseblues 4 жыл бұрын
Nope. Can't imagine anyone else
@shanemontgomery1358 4 жыл бұрын
Great video! I recently broke up with my boyfriend who I loved so much. He was an active alcoholic and lied and at the least sent sexual text messages to other guys. I could not be with him bc I didn’t like who I became the long I was with him and the more his drinking escalated...I struggle with regret, a fear of being alone, and anger. I’m going to a 12 step group for people to love addicts and it is helping. I still think of him but it’s getting better. However this is great bc I note know why I seem to attract emotionally unavailable people.
@prestonkinsey3828 Жыл бұрын
This is going to help so much. Thank you
@LaurieGordon 5 жыл бұрын
One of your most insightful videos...and you have many...
@drew5884 3 жыл бұрын
13:20 damn, he unleashed the biggest truth bomb I needed to hear. Thank you for that, wow.
@ripdeadpoet 2 жыл бұрын
I hate how attached I became. We were together for 5 years. We broke up 6 months ago. We stayed friends until month 5 and she let me know she was in a relationship and is happy and that I should move on.. imagine meeting your dream girl and just destroying her and the relationship while she stayed over and over again because she knew how much I loved her.. I’m not even upset about the breakup because I deserved to loose her.. I just miss her.. we were best friends.. her birthday was June 14th, I tried so hard not to message her because I was on a month of no contact. The next morning our 2 year old pup died.. I felt like I did the right thing and emailed her that our baby passed away.. it’s been a few days and she still hasn’t said anything.. I get she has a new relationship but that dog loved her.. she really broke me heart twice this year..
@buttertamayo8829 3 жыл бұрын
I’ll be watching this video again many times!
@kimbakotschi 4 жыл бұрын
Hi Craig, can you do a video on how MBTI personality types can effect attachment styles?
@paultriggs7967 4 жыл бұрын
Wouldn't think this would help...I'm on sleeping tablets...anxiety tablets...I've lost 13kg in 3 weeks...I've been visiting her after 6 days nc...doing the same things as we were together...holding hands..kissing...cuddles....sex....when I get home...nothing...this video really helped
@greghernandez54 4 жыл бұрын
This is a very important video!
@kchungnyc3427 Жыл бұрын
Great question at 4:15! And explanation at 13:55.
@JoJo-vz5yh 3 жыл бұрын
One of your best videos
@staceyswope3438 6 жыл бұрын
My avoidant ex led me to be alone. He’d rather sit home alone w his dog and football.
@E_Money76 5 жыл бұрын
What's wrong with a dog and football?
@E_Money76 5 жыл бұрын
I understand wanting to to do something with whoever.
@teesahurt2074 5 жыл бұрын
My AVOIDANT EX broke up with me. After I lashed out on him because of his behavior which I did not learn about fully until after breakup. Now he has blocked me. This is crazy. He afraid of getting close intimacy. Wth. Could you have told me this in the beginning instead of begging and pleading to be in a relationship you know you are going to have to end. I'm PISSED foreal.
@lisabishop9565 4 жыл бұрын
Not true ,had a wonderful childhood . Its this man he has hurt me twice in 20yrs
@marylongoria35 2 жыл бұрын
A beakthrough for me...Thank you!!
@arielny823 4 жыл бұрын
This is a great video. So informative and is exactly what I'm going through. I was in an affair for over a year. She broke up with me and here I am begging her back and acting obsessive. Meanwhile shes not shedding tears cause she has someone and is getting her needs met. This video hit all the points and so accurate. Is there a video on how to overcome this feeling.
@joeb5578 4 жыл бұрын
This sounds exactly like me. I broke up with a girl in August 2019 after 8 months. I'm understanding now that she has an avoidant style personality. I'm really having a hard time coming to grips with this. I knew there was somthing wrong. I just didn't know how to deal with.
@GMH9765 4 жыл бұрын
Yes, my partner also turned out to be avoidant, only it did not get clear until after 4 years. Now the break up is a month ago and I am in SO much pain! We still held out till 4,5 years.
@Esstan1 4 жыл бұрын
@@GMH9765 Same here! I was together 4,5 years with my ex avoidant! Although, this is the second break up because I wasn't ready when he came back to me last time. Do the work and don't stop when they come back!!!! I had just started to work on myself and he appeared crying from nowhere and wanted me back. Now, we're in the exact same situation again. He cried like a kid that had dropped his ice cream when he came for his stuff 3 weeks ago. He was the one who broke up. Since then no contact, he promised to contact me to pick the rest of his things but haven't done it yet. And I'm left here confused, lonely, tired and angry. And I still miss him so much. On top of all this, Corona is taking over the world and I can't even go out to take a glass of wine to relax. What a great time to have a breakup! Haha! Keep on fighting you guys and stay safe! Whether or not these people come back to us, we'll survive and become stronger :)
@mura0 5 жыл бұрын
I used to not believe in relationships until we broke up 7 weeks ago...everyone I know is either not happy in a relationship or has divorced or broken up......but now because of my loss, I blindly believe in relationships. Go figure.
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