This sounds like where I moved into an apartment, thinking it was okay, to find that there was a flamenco dance studio upstairs (I am NOT kidding), and a heavy metal guy underneath me. I had to simply give up on the living room, and lived in the bedroom, which was reasonably quiet, outside of the train going through my backyard and shaking the whole house every night at 2:00 AM. I got used to the train, but not the human noises, because they were so unpredictable.

Large plastic clear totes for all of your stuff. Other than that... Everything will be all right. Probably not today, or tomorrow. But one day, I promise, everything will be ok. The sun will shine even if it fucking rains. And I'm so sorry it's raining buckets on you now. Everything will be ok.

Take lots of pictures of the state of the house, you might need it for when you move out one day. In theory the insects and rats should be dealt with by your letting agency/landlord, I would inform them of the problem Hope it gets better xx

That sounds fucking awful! I'm really sorry you've moved somewhere like that & I hope your landlord fixes everything asap 💚 Really glad you've got your friend & Otis (& the other cat) to help keep you sane 😻

Hey Dana, just some advice from an old - keep in mind that it will take several weeks for NT people to adjust to the stresses of moving. It's always a lot more stress than it seems it will be and it's always a machine gunning of things one on top of the other when we're already past our limit. That's just how it tends to go. It's no wonder it's going to be harder for people like us. Keep giving yourself grace and tackle one small thing at a time to give yourself those footholds that allow you to make adjustments and re-establish yourself. Know that this is "normal" in that things just never go smoothly for anyone in these situations and try not to let yourself spiral into thinking this was a huge, unfixable mistake that will never get better and this is just your life forever. You have someone with you, so remember that you're a team in this and keep touching base with each other about how you're both doing and what you each can take on or need taken off your plates. Sometimes that's going to be both of you needing to throw your plates against the wall and not deal with anything for a day or so, sometimes things are going to be stilted - just keep checking in and being honest so it doesn't stay that way. As a side note, roaches are fricking awful - and tenacious! Open packages outside, they love cardboard and can hitch rides in Amazon boxes and the like. Don't slack off on the baits and stuff just because you stop seeing them. From the sounds of it, it's just going to be a part of life there like it is here. Vary the types of baits every so often so they don't get immune or learn to avoid them. Pay particular attention to wet areas not just food areas - under kitchen sinks, drains, the bathroom, laundry room if you have one, your cats' dishes. Keep your pantry foods in airtight plastic containers, they can eat through most standard packaging. I even downsized my kitchen trash cans to bathroom sized {2 and 4 gallon} bins so the garbage can't stay in the house longer than a day.

Does the rat have a way to get out? 🥺 Not only is immurement of a living creature morally horrific, but you REALLY don't want a dead rat in your walls! The smell will make living there truly unbearable for months! Got to let it out of there somehow, even if it's making a new hole and covering it up again. I'm sorry you're having such a time of it. Moving is one of the hardest, most stressful things even when everything in the best of times 😵‍💫

So sorry to hear about the move-in disaster and hoping the fixes happen really fast! Be well.

Some suggestions: - Noise: perhaps Loops or Flares (ear plugs) to offer some relief without going full noise cancelling. - Washing machine: have you considered rental appliances? No big up front cost, if/when you move you don't have to take it or sell it, you just end the rental. - Desk: would something hinged that folds away when not in use work? IKEA has a wall mounted table that functions as a slim shelf when folded down. - Rat: multi-feed (pet safe) baits can sometimes come in pellets (maybe fit between grating), and while a dead rat in the wall is also gross, a living one is definitely worse (and more actively stressful) - Roaches: we get lots here in Aus, and there are pest treatments that create a barrier to stop them entering the house (this is yearly here, and a requirement of rental agreements) This is a lot to deal with though, so maybe one thing at a time, and definitely ask your roommates to engage in the solutions too 🤗

Welcome back and may things get sorted asap.

Sorry the move is not what you hoped. I know what it's like to move somewhere because you have no other choice. And to be the only clean person in the area, and to have roaches because of other people's negligence... and you just have to deal with it. Even with good roommates, the environment can feel like a constant stressor. You're not alone. Hope the change in roomies makes the stress easier to live with.

I feel terrible for you

You're not alone with new home problems, Dana. I moved into my place over a year ago and it was infested with mites, which I've managed to get under control for the most part (with frequent vacuuming and cleaning) but I still see them. :/ I'm terrified of them. They've been in every house so far. I was hoping to escape them. My heart SANK when I saw them here.

Hope it all gets better for you soon, I know how bad it can be living in a bad environment.

Crickey Dana this sounds absolutely horrific! I don't know how you are managing to string words together, you must be so exhausted, and together with having meltdowns on top of everything I felt so sorry for you and I'm praying that things get much better really fast. I find you so inspiring and I'm sending you so much love. XX

I hope things will improve in your living situation ASAP. We had starlings in a rental wall once. Awful.

Welcome back Dana.

I moved a year ago and I've been pretty much fully useless since then, two weeks ain't bad! I hope your house/sanitation situation gets better, that stuff's nerve-wracking.

you go Dana! That's a pretty kitty!

The new room looks nice Dana. Hope you do well in your new place

You can send complaints to the council about neighbour's if there super bad. Sorry to hear about the rat problem, it sounds hard. I don't like how your landlord sealed it in, poor rat destined to die in your wall.

Sorry to hear about all this and obviously no need to apologize. Good luck for dealing with it all, I hope it all gets better soon enough.

As renters, you had to BUY A FRIDGE? I’ve never heard of that. Is that a UK thing? That seems absurd. I getting having to buy a washer, because you have the alternative of going to a laundromat, but everyone NEEDS a fridge!…..

It was the eldritch scurrying of those fiend-born rats, always questing for new horrors, and determined to lead me on even unto those grinning caverns of earth’s centre where Nyarlathotep, the mad faceless god, howls blindly to the piping of two amorphous idiot flute-players.

if one side of the bed has more room you could put a desk on that side instead of a night stand? it looks like you might even be able to double stack those nightsands.

I got mice right now so I feel ya. The title gave me a chuckle though, thanks!

Hi Dana, it’s so lovely to see you 😊 I’m so sorry that this move hasn’t been a happy positive experience 😢 it’s so stressful moving house at the best of times but hearing everything that you’ve had to put up with is awful 😢I’m so sorry for you and I’m hoping that everything gets sorted asap ❤️🙏🏻 Do you have an advocate who can support you ? When we were having housing issues with our landlord we got advice from a lovely lady from mencap who wrote supportive letters and made phone calls on our behalf and the repairs soon got sorted for us once she got onto them on our behalf ❤❤ hope you get sorted soon ❤❤

Heyyy I'm so sorry you're dealing with this shit. I'm low income too and have historically lived in a lot of very rough living situations. Lately ive been able to at least escape the abusive+generally unsafe situations that I had to contend with in the past but I've never been able to afford, like... you know! A nice quiet private home or anything. I'd love to own a home, it's like my dream, but I live in the us and am totally on my own financially. Shit is rough out here and I really feel you. I've had pest issues too :[ I didn't used to have such a fear of bugs in the house but now I sure as hell do. I remember my last apartment-- I lived alone and that particular part was SO nice, but since it wasn't a very nice apartment building the walls were very thin and I lived underneath a couple who was up very early in the morning, like 4am. I had a lot of meltdowns as a result of thudding noises overhead after coming home from being overstimulated at work. I ended up dropping $300 on some noise canceling headphones that I basically never took off. ;-; housing is so fucking difficult especially when you don't have a ton of options. I'm sorry.

Moving house is really stressful at the best of times, it sounds like it's really hard on you right now. Please try to be kind to yourself, creating a sense of routine and familiar sensory experiences can be useful when everything around you is unfamiliar and out of control x

Aww im sorry 😔 moving is so awful! And especially when there is noise and things feel unsafe and dirty 😔 i just moved as well, im so glad there are no pests here...but several other things just set my teeth on edge (mold in the laundry room, lack of ceiling lamps, noises etc) even without all of that 😬 i hope it will get better soon but tbh it sounds pretty bad and i hope you can move away soon. I don't understand why you guys have no fridge or washing machine though, it really should be included. You have a perfect right to complain, don't worry.

Ask a neighbor (not the loud ones) if they have a washer you can borrow?

I moved into an area / house that when I moved in was missing an entire window in the first week... I lasted only a few months trying to convince myself I could deal... but the energy it took to regulate to feel safe, clean, not anxious.. took its toll and I had to move.. Hope things work out okay, I understand your struggle

I'm sorry about the noisy neighbors. I've been there. I assume you have a right to complain to whomever's in charge when neighbors are being loud so late at night. It worked for me. I don't know if washing machines are made significantly differently in your country, but over here it's unwise to buy a used one. They typically have been sitting in storage for a while, and if the owner just disconnects it without doing other necessary things, the water pump breaks after not too long in storage.

Bless you, it sounds really stressful x

sadly this is the reality of landlordism.

Hang in there, its not easy, but you can get through it. It may take a while but it'llbwork out

The BEST way to quiet the kiddos is to be noisy just like them, after hours especially. People don't get it until it's done to them. Sounds like you could get out of the lease.

Oh Dana I'm so sorry!! The noises thing really bothers me, the couple in the room next to me in my house share are really loud, they always have their TV on at full volume until midnight or 1am and back again at 6, regularly shout argue and are always making really irritating reptitive noises. I felt like such an ass for being annoyed so it's reassuring that other people deal with it, even if I wish you weren't!

It looks nice to me I'm still trying to find a new place to live and a roommate.

oh Dana, just thinking of you and hoping things get better asap

Dang! So sorry, Dana! I was hoping you were enjoying your new place 😢 You may already know about this but: as someone who’s lived in the southwestern US states and dealt with tooooo many roaches in my life, try diatomaceous earth if you haven’t already. It’s nontoxic to pets and humans and basically works by drying out the exoskeletons of the insects. It’s worked well for me so far. I saw someone else asking this but is there anyway you can let the rat outside the way it came in? And then close it up again? I’m not clear on how it came in - thru a hole and into the wall?

Sympathies, been there countless times and it's always awful ("Hell is other people" ought to be the national anthem of we autistic folk.) For what it's worth, a lot of the difficult feelings are likely just riding the momentum of sustained exposure to your previous living situation i.e. it's a decompression process in which new unfamiliar stressors are ignited by the past situation's burning itself out of your system. Which is to say, hang in there because the old agitation *will* begin to settle now. (If you have access to a bicycle now is the ideal time to ride, as it reasserts one's sense of autonomy while giving your body a healthy stress release through meaningful physical activity.) Again, it sounds like it's been a massively overwhelming shitstorm of a time, but at least you're out and away from the previous situation! 🏆✅💪😎

Would setting up a gofundme help to maybe help move to a different living area with more proper living facilities just an idea

You don't look like you're in pain with that cat lovingly sleeping in your lap

When do your neighbors sleep?

Hj😊😊

Rats are cool, much cleaner than humans.

Awww Dana 🫂 incense can deter insects or find other repellents! Wishing you the best : hate cockroaches too