I am very VERY happy that nick canon refuses to date black women. Every woman he so much as looks at becomes a single mother.

If a man calls you "Queen", "Mother Earth", "God" or "Goddess" RUNNNNN

Also, deifying is essentially dehumanizing. Like Black women are not “goddesses,” they’re PEOPLE and should be treated as such. And yes, Black women are amazing, but not mythical beings, who should be more humanized, not less.

I honestly ignore people who are not black women when they talk about black women. They say nothing I want to hear.

"If I talk about racism everyone rallies behind me. When I talk about colorism I'm called bitter angry & mad by the same people who was rooting me on when I talked about racism." Faaacts!

They say this to try to pander to us because they know that we are the ones that line their pockets, they know that black women are the ones that go hard for them. I’m so sick of it 🤢

I’ve never liked being called queen. I associate queen with respectability and patriarchy, two things that have and continue to cause black women the most harm. Also, I looked into the etymology of the word queen and that solidified my dislike for the term. While I do think black women are the origin of all humanity I am uncomfortable with people who are not bw referring to us a gods. It feels like another means of objectification and dehumanization. The further we are from being seen as simply human, the easier it is to enact violence against us.

Saying we’re goddesses make me feel like a evolution of mammy. Like we’re so powerful, but they still expect us to save and nurture everyone

This whole royalty nonsense is honestly nauseating, not flattering. Disingenuous language has serpent's tongue energy. I've had a black man yell at me, at the top of his lungs, that I " can't be a queen" because I ignored his comments while walking down the street. He then proceeded to say that my " attitude" was the reason "they treat us how they treat us". Two seconds earlier, I was the best thing in the world, tell me how that works?🤦🏿‍♀️ The same ones that call you queen, empress, goddess, whatever other nonsense, are the first ones to denigrate you. Luckily for me and many other Black women, we really don't care to be praised, just leave us be and get out of our way.

Even as a kid when I'd hear older men flirt by calling women "my queen", it was always an eye roller of a moment.

I don’t want them to date us at this point. Leave us alone. There are others

I found it hilarious when Sean said black women create life- he does realise that women of all skin tones give birth right? 😂😂

yes, i've felt a way about the "queen" thing too especially bcus it lowkey reinforces the desire for hierarchy. i'm not valuable bcus im an important queen or something, im valuable bcus im a human and the point is for no one to be over anyone. + i just recently finished all about love (bell hooks truly was and is amazing) & its really a must read. its def been helping me think more about how im showing up in my life. nnedi okorafor is a nigerian american speculative fiction writer. i've read "binti" and "shuri" by her and it sounds like you'd be into them. binti is like a sci-fi space novel about a girl being the first from her himba community to be accepted into a "prestigious" technology school-spaceship and shuri is a comic book spin-off of black panther with shuri as the main character. i read them in class, but they're great reads!

Yeah it's always seemed dehumanizing for black women to have to be either a man's abused object or a man's deified object, "his bitch" or "his queen". Either way I'm not appreciated in my full humanity.

was big sean saying we come from a black hole to draw a parallel to Black women's gentitalia? thats so fucked up lol

I am kind of glad these types of men are not dating BW. Nick Cannon seems to be in a race with Future the rapper to create the most illegitimate children in America and Big Sean seems emotionally unavailable and not willing to commit or be faithful so why would BW want to subject themselves to that? All of these are blessings and BW need to recognize that.

One of the things I love about you Mayowa is that no matter the topic youre ALWAYS spitting facts. You're such a great influence in our community for real. Love you lots!

I definitely get your point and hate pandering. I believe as a black woman I use “queen” as a way to show black women I support and love them since we get so much static from the outside world.

"My heart's cold baby!" 🥶 ❤🔥

We don't need MEN to speak for us......period🤷🏾‍♀️ we didn't ask for their validation....well at least I don't. Thanks for this video, girl❤❤❤

1. I'm every mirror she's Black 2. Dear Black Girl 3. One of the good ones 4. Dear Haiti, Love Alaine 5. Clap when you land 6. The Black Kids 7. Act your age, eve brown 8. How the one armed sister sweeps her house 9. Dear Liberte (Haitian focusing on colorism and classism in upscale New York and Haiti set in 1800s)

I think that Nick Cannon is aware of the optics of his longstanding colorism, so he tried to mitigate it in the workplace by hiring Jessie Woo as a "Wildin' Out Girl" after she called out being let go as the only dark sister. But we still see through you, dude.

I bought a "The Black Woman is God" t shirt when I was younger, but could never wear it cause it gave my spirit the same feeling as being called strong. Gross

I'm reading parable of the sower by octavia butler its really amazing. As a person who grew up only reading and listening to fantasy specifically written by white people (unfortunately), reading this has been SOOO refreshing. Its exactly what you were saying about being able see yourself in a book. I highly recommend. Its also intense! just giving you a heads up. Wish I had read more books by brilliant black women like this growing up.

By calling Black women goddess’s I think it plays into the superwoman complex. It forces Black women to live up to the standard of perfection when no one is perfect. I personally don’t like being called queen ‘cause it’s corny. I do love being called a god but that’s because I view myself very highly and I deserve to be worshipped. But that’s just me

Book recommendation: “For Brown Girls with Sharp Edges and Tender Hearts” by: Prisca Dorcas Mojica Rodriguez - changed my whole undergraduate experience

As a dsbm in America it always seemed weird to hear someone call me a king like you said I'm like everybody can't be kings. I guess I'm more for someone saying I have king like energy? Not sure, but I do love watching your channel! I'm guilty of so much colorism and featurism and grew up not liking my own skin until I was a young adult, so to watch videos like yours is making me very proactive in changing my perspective and actually checking myself. Hearing a new perspective brings awareness and awareness brings change. Keep educating us and pointing out the problems in our psyche!

We’re not magical ! We’re human beings... Smh this is so sad that we are either marginalised / ignored or deifed and dark skin queens !! The lack of representation makes us believe every narrative they put us into. We don’t need to fit into this Queen / goddess movement. Our value is within. We just are, period.

This was a very interesting perspective that I have never considered. I usually take those words as compliments because they are so heavily thrown around. It's definitely true that these words can be easily reversed to dehumanize you. I love that this gave me something to think about!!!

I’ve always disliked being called “queen”. I feel similarly to others who have expressed how dehumanizing it is to be placed on a pedestal and denied access to the fullness of human emotions, needs and desires (all because of a stranger’s projections, at that). As a nonbinary, queer person I’ve also never enjoyed the hetero expectations that come with being seen as a queen.

It’s the title for me!!! Drag them because these folks need to be held accountable ‼️👏🏿

I understand the sentiments shared in this video. Especially when it comes to putting black women on pedestals, to easily tear them down when they are not living by their standards. Personally I don't mind being referred to as goddess, empress, and queen because of the men in my life see my humanity first and I love that. I had to keep clear of men who haven't healed from societal trauma.

The Stars and the Blackness between them is a great book. It’s a Queer Afro-futurist love story!

I feel any compliments for dark BW, coming from BM romantically devoted to nonblack/unambiguous women is only pandering. Actions speak louder than words and outside of the help and dark BW of birth, men like this have few dark BW in their personal lives. This pandering is evident by the quick criticism when there are complaints of colorism. But I get it they have to keep their income streams secure.

14:46 I agree. I've always criged whenever I hear people refer to themselves or others as "qween" or "kang" especially when they are not royalty or have anything close to a kingdom. It is very tackly since I often seen it misused for a person that is obviously pandering, agreeing with the majority on a controversial topic or doing/saying the bare minimal for once in their life . This also reminds me of the "high value" "low value" "alpha" "beta" debate.

you can tell when a person truly sees your divinity. they don't just refer to you as such, they treat you as such... most people only say it on a superficial level... they usually don't even know what it entails to be a divine human so most often than not its just empty words said to invoke a response... & it's usually a response that the speaker doesn't deserve.

“A lot of the time the people that want to push you to the front, and act as if, you can be holier than thou or you can be perfect, will be the ones waiting for your fall.” SO GODDAMN TRUE, THIS WAS A SERMON. DAMN. Edit: I’ve also noticed a LOT that I’m held to the most ridiculous standards especially in the work place as a black woman. It’s so suffocating.

Anytime you hear a BM calling BW Queens,lace up your Nikes and run. Those men are always disingenuous. Always!!!!!

I am always excited to see you play with makeup. So few of us feel free and confident enough to experiment publicly. At most we may dabble behind closed doors.

I always roll my eyes when BM calls us queens and gods like they’re not worthy of us. I truly believe they really believe this. They don’t think they’re worthy of us. It’s giving self hate.

Octavia Butler is a must read if your interested in Sci-if or Speculative writing. She's not consider a Fantasy writer, however her work is highly imaginative and empowering. Octavia Butler changed my life and inspired me to read, periodt! Tananarive Due is another Sci-if/Speculative writer whose work is AMAZING! The Blood series will have your mind blown.

I also absolutely loved: - Daughters of Nri by Reni Amayo - The Deep by Rivers Solomon - Akata Witch by Nnedi Okorafor

Thank you for highlighting the fact that these kings and queens, that folks like putting on pedestals were a part of the reason as to why the slave trade happened and to this day they make really messed up deals that harm Black people.

Being called a goddess means they see me as a fantasy and not a real person with problems. I have been told I was a goddess in a discussion to basically minimize any of my problems or concerns. I shouldn't be making something out of nothing cause I'm a goddess that shouldn't concern myself with worldly rights or emotions. I'm not suppose to be like a worldly man that is angry or sad. I tell them it sounds like cult stuff and they are running away from my main point as if calling me goddess would make me stop talking.

This video is just perfect, just seeing you elaborate your thoughts is just nice watch.

The first sci-fi/fantasy book I read was in college. It was by black author Octavia Butler. Her whole catalog is good, although I am not a fan of Kindred. Since then (late 90s/early 00s) I have discovered many black authors writing in this genre and I love all of them. Nnedi Okorafor, N.K. Jemison, and Nalo Hopkinson are great authors. Lots of trilogies and stand alones. Red Wolf Black Leopard by Marlon James is a page turner. For younger children, the Tristan Strong trilogy by Kwame Mbalia and The Jumbies by Tracey Baptiste. I enjoy audiobook versions. Read by excellent voice actors and with varied accents, makes the stories come to life even more for me.

All this stems from colorism. BM do like BW just anyone on the lighter side of the spectrum to date. You will see lighter skin women becoming wives quickly versus someone darker skin. Most BM are colostruck when it comes to who they date. I have seen them sleep with dark and marry light. But will call the dark woman "Queen" but wont marry her Make it make sense. Many BM see light skin as currency that explains why so many darker skin women are single because BM are not choosing them. Im so glad that more and more ppl are talking about colorism because it plays a huge part in a persons dating experience and how they see the world. BM do not call each other out when guys diss darker skin women.

Your mind; You talked about the binary of gods and demons, colonialism and monarchies, colorism and misogynoir. Thank you so much for this! Also, a sci-fi book I recommend that is written and about dark skin people is Kindred by Octavia Butler 💜💛

I really really appreciate videos like this so much. Its really hard to meet people that understand these concepts and this is what we need. Please never stop making videos!!!

These black men would call us God and saviors but treat us like dirt beneath their feet. Men like Nick Cannon are goofy af.

I love how you presented this topic. You have so much personality and it's nice seeing topics like this from different perspectives ❤

your channel is very insightful, very inspiring. these topics need to be kept to the forefront.

After hearing your thoughts on Queendom/Kingdom/Deifying, I started to think “what do I mean or feel when I use such terms.” And I don’t feel like what I imagine has much likeness to the traditional meanings. I think I’m acknowledging the light I see in people. I guess I don’t really see them as ruling others, but ruling their own being, if that makes any sense. Now I really wonder what others imagine or mean when they use queen/king/god. 🤔

Love love love this, Mayowa 🙌 Your videos and content are always thought provoking and brain stimulating. Because of you, I bought and read All About Love, and when I heard that Bell Hooks passed, I thought about you. Blessings on blessings, Beautiful 💕💝

i have been BINGE-ING talks/interviews with bell hooks. I read/listen to a few chapters of "All About Love" every single day its been changing my life. It's also been pushing me to get back into reading. its wild how each upload from you somewhat aligns with where I am in my life journey because I have that book in my cart right now! I know this isn't from a Black author, but I'm working on acquiring more books as I get back into my Book-bag as well lol. But, another FANTASTIC fantasy book I just finished is "Iron Widow" by Xiran Jay Zhao. It's a historical sci-fi and the story rocked my world a little, ngl. I highly recommend it! I hope to share more recommendations from Black authors in the future Thank you for this video

I also love hearing your perspective on different topics. You stimulate me to think more

“Trying to hit a soft spot” but not trying to treat us like human beings LOL. We are not ethereal in the sense that we don’t exist.....we’re human beings . Treat us with respect. Everyone hates black women so much. What did we do to y’all?

This content is NEEDED so y’all hear me 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾♥️♥️♥️

Nothing but facts!!!! Clap

I don't like when people call black women queens and goddesses either. We're not either of those. We're just WOMEN! Just call us WOMEN! Also, these black men like Nick Cannon and Big Sean only say that stuff about black women because they are fully aware of being called colorist by black women. So, they try to pander to get back on black women's good side without doing the actual work. They go out of their way to not date black women, but want to call us queens and Gods? 🙄

This was so well thought out and helped me put somethings into perspective. Thank you❤️

These videos fr make me so much wiser, ty for making them ❤️

That's one of my favorite books! I'm a big fantasy reader in general but Children of Blood and Bone is in my top ten favorites. I would also recommend Raybearer by Jordan Ifueko. Amazing worldbuilding. Ifueko a Nigerian-American and Raybearer draws a lot of inspiration from Nigerian mythology.

I admire the fact that you as a Dark beautiful woman speak on it with confidence don't be gas lit by those who are too coward to speak on it . Speak even louder over those who try to gas light your conversation. Love your show sister and a world of blessings and prosperity.

I feel you Mayowa. When we say these things like, we are gods, I believe you are in essence striving for an unattainable status and therefore unachievable goal. I totally agree with idolizing a person can quickly turn to demonizing them. You see it all the time. Travis Scott demonized but Drake avoided the heat. And I believe that to be true because it’s superficial love or admiration. It’s superficial when you say black women are gods but all you do is date mixed race. Because like you said your doing it because it’s the trendy thing to do for the time being. Just like all these businesses promoting “blackness”. Love your content and you!!! ❤️

Children of blood and bones is more than fire, I’m waiting for the next tome

I liked it before watching it because I know it will be on point.

It's crazy you're reading that book! I discovered them during quarantine. I bought all three. I was just looking up the author to see if she had anything else because I'm feigning!! I'm ready for a movie.

This guy that I dealt with stated that BW are Gods yet he wanted to be in a polygamous relationship in order for the income to be greater. Historically polygamy was practiced among the royal and with the man as the sole provider. So the guy that I dealt with wanted women to provide yet you refer to them as Gods…so why not serve them?

I am a new subscriber and I want to take the time to let you know how much I love your content. I’m currently binge watching and learning so much. You are giving me language to put to so many things that I have lived throughout my 36 years of life as a dark skinned black woman. I want to thank you for taking the time to make these videos and for voicing your opinion. I am here for EVERYTHING! The beautiful thick locs, the gorgeous dark skin and flawless makeup! Your videos are giving me life. I am here to stay! I would love to hear more about life in Nigeria. I can’t wait to one day visit!

That self-hate is so deep so deep...

Thank you young beautiful sis. I love learning from the young folks. 😀😀😀😀😀

you make me feel like i’m not crazy when i speak up for myself & everyone attacks me or just doesn’t understand so thank you fr

so happy my wife and i found your channel. every video is a hit.

the shorter the video, the less time i have to appreciate the fits! 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨 okay. it’s the everything for me. everytime. love ya. your necklace is lovely. take care.

YES YES YES. everything you said 🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾 whew. and to your closing question, i HATE being called Queen. im nonbinary and dont identify with traditionally feminine terms, so thats one. but even when i was cisgender i hated it. i agree with everything you said. seeing me as a “Queen” is their projection, and the second i exist outside of what their idea of being a “Queen” is, im vilified.

Check out Legendborn! The protagonist is clearly darkskinned and the story is great. I can’t say if I’d classify the author as dark skinned but I believe it touches on colorism and has amazing value as a piece of black fantasy literature. It’s one of the books I wish I had when I was a teen trying to enjoy fiction before people cared about representation.

"You all be creating life and..." He literally couldn't think of anything else!

Any book by Nnedi Okorafor, you can go no wrong. I also LOOOVE watching her speeches, interviews, and seminars. She's truly a treasure: Who Fears Death Zarah the Windseeker (the first one I read and will read over and over again I love it so much) The Nsibidi Scripts Series Lagoon Binti Trilogy Shadow Speaker Remote Control Nalo Hopkinson is another great author as well. Sister Mine is a good one as well as Midnight Robber, Falling in Love with Hominids, The New Moons Arms, and The Salt Roads are all great books. I collect anything by these authors cause its never a bad read.

Men will say everything to get them in bed and become another baby mama struggle…

Nick has issues, hes spreading his seed like its a challenge, he has money but children need more then that!! I can see where Monique was coming from, I'll wear my bonnet all day in the house but Id never wear it outside, I've got to many head scarfs etc. But you don't know a persons mental state...

I just finished Children of Virtue and Vengeance (it's a sequel to Children of Blood and Bone) and it was truly AMAZING!!! Tomi Adeyemi's writing is SO beautiful!!

I was recently having a conversation with my coworkers, who are non-Black people, about race relations and how we can't stand the division in the media. I mentioned how I feel like my Blackness is magnified as a "special difference" in the media so much that non-Black people often behave unnaturally around me as if they are going out of their way to not offend me, less they be seen as racist. I told them point blank, that the best way they can prove that they mean well to me and see me as an equal is to treat me as if I look just like them. I told them to think of me as the same born and raised American that they are. I don't think someone is racist until they exhibit racism. Something amazing happened that day. For the first time in my life, when I am with those people, I don't feel different. We are totally relaxed around each other and have conversations about everything. We laugh hard with each other and joke around about "controversial topics" and pick each other's brains about things. We comfort each other during sad times and encourage each other. I don't feel Black around them. I feel like myself and they enjoy my company and show respect to me the same way I do them. I don't have to question if they are judging me based on my race whenever I make mistakes, that is a freeing realization. All of the awkwardness disappeared the day I voiced those words. Americans need to remember that we are one nation. We should be acting and thinking like one. We are each other's countrymen first and foremost. If we don't have each other's backs then who will? We are each other's people. Every single state in this country is full of Americans and Americans come in all shapes sizes and colors. In all the years this country has existed, Americans have interbred so much with each other that most family trees are not single race. We are trying so hard to divide ourselves while demanding to be treated like a member of the collective American population. How can we be divided and a collective at the same time? I know that I may get some negativity from this by separatists but I don't think I am wrong to want all Americans to be a cohesive nation. Divided we fall. Race relations is our weakness point and they are pressing it hard because we keep letting it work on us. That's what the powers that be want to accomplish to keep control. Keep us broken and distrustful so that we don't join up and overthrow the evil that is classist hierarchy.

I have that book! Just haven't read it yet so... I'll have to dig in to it. N.K. Jemisin is another Black female fantasy author.

Let's get into that harness look at the intro of your video. That was such a look on you!! 🔥

Spot on, I have no additional commentary.... the delusion and manipulation is disturbing.

New subscriber for sure. I agree with a lot of your thoughts and I'm glad you've shared them.

You should check out authors Rivers Solomon and Akwaeke Emezi. Also, if you like Children of Blood & Bone you may like the Raybearer series by Jordan Ifueko. There is some really amazing black written fantasy these days.

You would absolutely LOVE This Poison Heart by Kaylynn Bayron! It's a fantasy book with black queer people as characters and is about botanity, magic and greek mythology. I wish i could read it for the 1st time again. I probably read it out within a week or two

I love your videos, you speak nothing but the truth!!

Great video ❤️❤️❤️

such facts, girl! love your commentary, always

babes that shirt loooksss AMAZING ON YOUUU!!!❤❤

"My heart’s cold.. " resonates with meee

im a year late but im so glad you made this the topic of conversation! It needed to be Brough to light. I've personally felt with this myself.

You are so necessary. Thank you.❤️🙏🏾

I enjoy your videos and breakdowns so much. Thank you for speaking on these issues. ❤

How do I feel about people calling themselves Queen or Goddesses? You are whatever you say you are. It's not hurting anyone 🤣😅 About the guys who don't date BW... We are vindicated about the destruction of the BC. Now, the world sees who and what the real problem is.

Loving the intro!! ❤🧡💛

If you haven't already,read some Octavia Butler, I'd recommend"Wild Seed" to start 🙌🏽✨💖