That ability to sleep is indestructible! But our faith in it can be shaken... this is great insight here Ellie 👍

So glad it resonated, it helps much to know you’re not alone. And you know, I’ve checked out these channels, really the same message. Thanks for sharing 😊

I am in the same place as you .. so good to know someone else going through same thing . sleep is last on my list too.. Mine also since March 2020.. Shaann, Daniel and also Dare app very helpful

Hi Nina, I’d say it’s not about accepting that we will suffer or have insomnia or anything like this, no human is okay with this.. I think it’s accepting that we can’t control how we feel or sleep, accepting that our brain is warning us about things… then when we aren’t trying to control things get easier for us

So glad it makes sense and thanks for sharing 🙂

Misha Ali Anyrime Misha! This work is so very rewarding - especially when you get comments like this 🙏😁

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Im super glad!! Its great work and you are helping so many people. And I recognise how it must even be sometimes taxing, taking in so many peoples anxieties! Many kudos for getting through that and still showing up for us, too 😁

Misha Ali This is very kind - thanks a ton!! Yes, you have to absorb a lot of anxiety as a sleep coach, but then you get to celebrate when people are doing well which is the best feeling! Thanks again Misha and have an awesome day!!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 ❤

Anytime Robin - this comment made me very happy today!

You got it Dominic! Thanks for being in touch

Knowledge is power, yes 😊 (and yes I had to look it up 😉) Welcome David, thanks so much for the kind words and support. Hope you find much value here and be in touch!

Hi Thea, wow great insights here, thanks for sharing! I'm just going to say - anyone who reads this comment from me, please read the one from I Look Mad When I'm Dreaming, super insightful coaching on how to approach intrusive thoughts and on how sometimes it feels like there's no anxiety when there really is. Very happy that you have all this knowledge and you know, something that just came to mind as I was typing here, the goal isn't to do this thought work and then not have anxiety or intrusive thoughts ever again for the rest of your life - it is to get to a point where it doesn't bother you or doesn't bother you that much. And I think you'll get there soon enough Lea!!

Hi Julia! So glad it’s been helpful and thanks for asking 🙂 I think it’s all about intent, that’s what matters. Anything, like journaling, that makes us more willing to experience discomfort or just see what we are scared of can help. The details of how we do this isn’t important. Let’s expand on this! - Remember that thoughts produce emotions. How we think gives rise to how we feel. And when the brain thinks there’s a threat, it wants to make sure we are safe and it sends us these warning signals, warning thoughts. These warning thoughts produce fear. You’re taking a stroll in your city and randomly see your friend walking towards the train tracks. He is about to cross them in a few seconds. But you see that there is actually a train approaching! What do you do? You shout at your friend. But he doesn’t hear you! So you shout even louder. Now he covers his ears! You start throwing stones at him, screaming at the top of your lungs! Then he finally turns around and says - yes, I KNOW it looks like a train, but it’s not a real train, we are shooting a movie!. Then you go “oooh”. You now see the camera crew and the props and the director giving you an annoyed look. When your friend showed that he listened, and you understood what was happening, there wasn’t any need for you to shout or warn him anymore. You kinda just wished he would have told you from the start. This way, you wouldn’t have had to get all worked up trying to save him! In this analogy, your brain is trying to warn you of something it thinks it’s important and when you try to ignore the brain and not listen, it feels even more strongly that it has to warn you! So, how can you show the brain that you’re listening? 1 A daily thought download Just spend five or 10 minutes every day at about the same time writing down everything that you worry about or those recurrent thoughts you have. This is a great way to show the brain that you’re listening so it feels no need to nag you. 2. Be willing to go there I think this is really effective but it can be a little scary. When your brain warns you of something, imagine that thing it warns you about. For example, if your brain says what if you lose your job because you can’t sleep, then you actually imagine that happening. When you are willing to experience X (even if it’s scary!) then the brain has no reason to warn you about X. - Hope this helps!

C&C, glad to have you back but sorry to hear about the panic attack... you know, these are common and here’s something I’ve written that can help. A panic attack can start with a trigger or without a trigger. Sometimes there is a clear circumstance that triggers an initial discomfort, sometimes it comes out of the blue. By the way when it comes out of the blue, that simply means that there is a thought that you haven’t identified that is triggering that initial discomfort. When there is a trigger, it’s not like the trigger in itself is causing the panic attack, but the trigger produces a thought that produces the initial discomfort. So for an obvious or not so obvious reason, you think something that creates some discomfort. Let’s say that the initial discomfort is palpitations. When you notice those palpitations the thought becomes “oh no it’s happening again” or something similar. After this comes the escalation phase. This is where you have many many experiences. This can be feeling lightheaded, feeling dizzy, thinking that you’re going to die or pass out, shaking, racing heartbeat, racing thoughts, breathing fast, breathing shallow, twitching and much more. This escalation phase is caused by the fear of a catastrophic event. It is a simple surge of adrenaline your body creates when it thinks that there’s a threat. Just like with insomnia, there’s no real threat, there’s a perceived threat however the brain reacts the same way whenever there’s a real or perceived threat. Now after the escalation phase comes to safety behavior. This may be sitting down, holding onto something, tell me the taxi cab driver to go home, taking medication, anything you do to make the attack stop. After a while the attack is over and now something not helpful has happened: Your brain thinks that you have been saved from a catastrophic event. Your brain thinks by doing your safety behavior, you have kept yourself from collapsing or dying or something terrible that is undefined. Your safety behavior is teaching the brain that there is a threat. It is the safety behavior that makes you have panic attacks again and again and again. Because you’re not allowing the brain to see that there is no threat. A good analogy heard is this tribe in the Amazon jungle do believe that the only way they can keep the sun coming up every morning is to stand guard and be awake. This is obviously very anxiety producing because they think the world is going to end if they aren’t there to make the sunrise. What is the only way for them to see that they don’t need to stand guard for the sun to come up? It is to not stand guard. That is the only way they can see that nothing was about to happen. That is the key to panic attacks. It is not doing the safety behavior and seeing that nothing catastrophic will happen even if it feels that it will. When the brain learns that there actually is no threat, there is no enemy, there is no catastrophe about to happen, then you have panic attacks less and less and less. Until they are a thing of the past. Hope this helps and be in touch!!

New to this channel. This is interesting. But if I'm having a panic attack, what do I do if I'm not doing the safety behaviour like taking a medicine or sitting down? How do I ride through this when anxiety is all time high? I've tried breathing techniques to convince my brain it is safe, but when my heart is pounding, it just doesn't work. Thanks!

Hi Joseph, Thanks for this comment. Sorry to hear what’s been happening but - glad you’re here and these patterns are very common. Check this out, it’s something from a coaching manual I’m working on. Definition: A pattern of alternating nights of little sleep and more sleep that appear to be a clue to why Trouble sleeping is present. Context: students often, typically in the early stages of deploying helpful thought and behavior changes, notice an alternating sleep pattern. For example: One night of little sleep followed by a night of good sleep, or three nights of little sleep followed by one night of good sleep. More complex patterns such as two nights of good sleep, one night of little sleep, one night of good sleep and three nights of little sleep may also be noted. The pattern often appears as an important message that if decoded could reveal a means of getting more consistent good sleep. Key insight: The pattern noticed is a result of either alterations in sleep drive or alterations in hyperarousal level or both. Mostly, as the student is presumably using a sleep window, it is the alterations in hyperarousal that produce the pattern. The expectations of a pattern itself is an important reason why a pattern emerges. When the student understands that the pattern is not a message and that it is sustained by the behavior of looking for a pattern they can easily let go of keeping track which leads to good overall sleep. Does this make sense Joseph?

The Sleep Coach School You seem to be saying that looking for a pattern creates the pattern. How can I stop looking for patterns?

Yes! More broadly, the more attention toward sleep, the more insomnia. And specifically when it comes to patterns, they are maintained by attention - by taking note and trying to figure them out. How to stop looking for patterns? 1. Understand why pattens happen from a sleep physiology perspective. See how it’s always gas/brake that determines sleep. Check insomnia insight 314! 2. Understand that there is no clue in the pattern. This will help resisting the urge to analyze it. 3 This is the counterintuitive one. Imagine someone who wasn’t willing to lose 10 min of sleep, for whom this was completely unacceptable. They would have tons of insomia! Because the pressure to sleep and the attempts at trying to control sleep would create so much anxiety. Someone who was willing to have insomnia on the other hand, ok with losing sleep, sleeps well. Same with pattern. When it is ok to have this bumpy pattern, when you no longer resist, it will go away. Just keep a regular rise time and don’t spend too much time in bed!

This happened to me too. And still happens a lot. Hang in there!

Exactly what I am Dealing with!!

Hi Rajdeep! Yes that’s right, when we have something tangible like a business, looking out for threats and problem solving is a good thing. You don’t want to miss a real issue when you’re operating a business. With insomnia and other perceived threat issues - that’s where it’s different, but you knew that already 😁 Thanks for all the support, well done getting to where you are and, I’ll be in this space for the rest of my life I’m sure!!

@@NinaSitum-hn7yn I simply started caring less with time and my sleep got back to normal, it's been over 2 years now. I had sleep realated anxiety at that time, but before that i didn't had anxiety.

@@NinaSitum-hn7yn one night I couldn't sleep and when I did sleep I had a panick attack or something in my dream and woke up. From there it started and i started to worry about my sleep

Hey there! Thanks for sharing your experience. Just a quick heads-up: we're hosting live Q&A sessions most weeks and we'd love for you to join us! It's a great chance to ask questions, share insights, and connect with others in the community.

Hi Shorfan, You know it’s very natural for this to happen when the brain is scared and problem solving… often what can help is to know that the uncertainty itself causes much anxiety… and when we don’t criticize ourselves for questioning things, it gets easier

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 100% !

Hi Tyler, I actually am a medical doctor 😝but this said, nothing here is medical advice! Now, it’s very common to note that you don’t sleep even after taking something that’s “supposed” to make you sleep. This can even seem alarming and scary! I’m reality, the only thing that can make humans sleep is sleep drive, the body needing sleep. That’s the gas in the sleep system. And there’s a safety brake as well which is hyperarousal. Think anxious or excited. So let’s say someone takes an allergy medication and thinks “this should make me sleep”. Now this thought produces some preoccupation and hyperarousal, and then sleep doesn’t happen. Then it seem like something may be wrong and there’s more hyperarousal. So yes absolutely an experience like this can trigger anxiety. But when we understand the mind and it’s not strange anymore, then this anxiety can fade and you sleep well again!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 gotcha! Well good news, I got a decent nights rest last night! What you said really helped me out.

Super glad it made sense and how you see that letting go leads to sleeping well again 😊

Glad you’re no longer struggling with sleep and for sharing your story Ophelia

Hi Don, Thanks for being in touch and you know, it's very common even when you have good understanding to have waves of insomnia even after having started to sleep well. With time, as you don't respond and start trying to do things, those waves do get smaller and smaller and more infrequent. This said, I think that sleep detox is really a good idea in your spot! Its good for anyone that understands why they've had trouble sleeping. So yes I think that could really help Don!

The Sleep Coach School Thanks for the reply Daniel. I feel much better after those words knowing that my insomnia can come in waves and that not reacting to them in time should get smaller. I’ll be taking a vacation soon so will definitely do a sleep detox then. Thanks so much!

Anytime Don and this sounds great! And you know, this became a good analogy with the waves, thanks for making that happen 😊

What do you mean sleep detox?

Hi Joe, Thanks for the question and, what I mean is making a decision not to learn or read about sleep at all for a certain amount of time. When you have had trouble sleeping, it’s good to start learning and educating yourself, but sometimes, you can get to a point where it actually stands in your way! So if you take like 2 weeks where you just don’t read anything sleep related, don’t watch any videos or listen to audio content that has to do with sleep - that’s what I call a sleep detox. And often you see that when you give sleep less attention, you sleep much better!

Hang in there SF, this sounds so so difficult… I hope you’ll fine something here that makes third easier, be in touch, let us know how things go…

Hi Lucy, You know many of my clients have had ongoing counseling as well.. my thinking is that we have this intuition that is true, we can sense it something is needed or will help us… I can only say that if you find anything or anyone that you feel is leading you towards where you want to be, then this will in all likelihood help…whether it’s just what we teach here or not…

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thank you Daniel. My only confusion is that I like to feel I can hold a belief-feeling, that I will sleep. In a Law of Attraction type way where you feel the feeling, the mood of, the belief of what it is you want. So at present I feel drawn to feel -in general, a sense of trust, & belief in following your method, of the process of allowing and having patience & faith it will all come about.But not obsessing on this, just knowing and allowing and letting it be & unfold. What I am concerned about is -is this ok or is it considered another sleep effort? Can I go to bed with this in my head if I am able to have it in a gentle easy way, not forced? (I will try to stop asking so many questions in the comments, I apologize! I know you must be v busy :)

-actually Daniel, I realize I am over-thinking this. It's ok, I think I know what to do (yes, v little ;-) no need to reply :)

Anytime Kevin. Yes that "time traveling" or paradoxical insomnia experience, it can happen part way through your sleep. It can happen anytime really. Sometimes you don't think you took a nap. Sometimes time skips ahead in the evening, or middle of the night, can happen anytime. When you wake up unrefreshed, that could be a lot of things - yes it can be that you didn't sleep enough, it can be from medications, it can be from the emotional struggle or the thoughts, the "battle" is very tiring, it could also be from negative thoughts about how you slept. You know my wife said this the other day, it was a quote from somewhere - Everything will be alright in the end, if it's not all right, it's not the end. Just keep learning, asking questions, letting go - and you'll get there!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 once again thankyou for your words of encouragement as you know paradoxical insomnia like a all insomnias Are very torturous and as we know it's about hyperarousal/anxiety especially at night it also could be withdrawal from benzodiazepines and other medications Last night was a real bad night sweating pacing tossing and turning then it went paradoxical for the rest of the night. Is paradoxical insomnia/hyperarousal all to to do with your survival mode I was told by a doctor to except what you have but when you don't sleep this is a very very hard thing to do I don't want to live /survive like this for the rest of my life and I will do whatever I have to to change it

Hi Kevin, check out a conversation I just saw, it’s in the comment section of the recent video on Hypnic awareness. Rajdeep shares that it was when he pretty much accepted that maybe he would have trouble sleeping indefinitely (triggering as thinking this is!!) that he started really turning the corner. It’s super hard but it is just like they say, what you resist persists. True for hyperarousal and for insomnia. Hang in there!!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Daniel thankyou for your replies I will look at you video you suggested. Can you answer this question as I said I am trying to reduce medication. Because I feel like I haven't slept deeply for a long time and the paradoxical insomnia seems to be getting worse could this be something to do with depression and frustration you feel in the morning day after day and not to do with the way you sleep. I guess what I am saying is it depression mood swings etc that causes bad in this case paradoxical insomnia or is it the paradoxical insomnia causing the depression hope this makes sense

Hi Paul, thanks for commenting here. I'm actually in this very moment working on a curriculum for an app for parents with kids that have trouble sleeping. And I was just about to write about how it is important as a parent not to talk about your child as a "bad sleeper" because - then it can be incorporated into one's identity! For many reasons, it is definitely trickier when you've had trouble sleeping all your life. And, anxiety is not everything that drives insomnia. In this episode I was really just trying to answer that common question that someone really puzzled, bewildered and perplexed has when all these bizarre things are happening. So, it may not apply at all to you. Do let me know if you have any questions Paul, would love a chance to share something that maybe could help you sleep a little better... /Daniel

So clicking on your link lead me to another link with something I had never heard of it was called Delayed Sleep Phase Disorder. Oh my god I can't believe how close it describes my exact symptoms. I think this could be really big.

Paul! I’m happy you’re learning of something that could really make a difference! Understanding what’s happening is always the first step 👍👍

Hi Amber, I’d say insomnia definitely is one way we experience anxiety, being awake, heart beating fast, thinking a lot, this is all part of a flight and flight reaction. Now this said, we think of emotions as a signal, as a way our brain communicates with us, and when we try to stop the communication - for example we try to get rid of anxiety, then it becomes amplified. On the other hand, when we no longer try to stop it, then the signal was received and there’s no longer a need to repeat it

Hi Anna and welcome to the channel! I think when we are above a certain age we all wake up a few times per night to use the bathroom. That said, people of every age actually wake up multiple times but most people don’t even notice it because they simply roll over and fall back asleep. The point is that waking up in itself is normal, but taking several hours to sleep or fall asleep, that is where something else is going on. What happens when we have insomnia is that wakefulness come out being awake at night, to the brain is identified as a threat and a problem. The more the brain tries to fight this “threat” by making you try to sleep, take supplements, meditate etc - the more it looks like nothing works because you don’t sleep any longer! Then the brain gets even more worked up and tries even harder and then you sleep even less! So the key is always to make wakefulness your friend. Try to turn being awake from a liability to an asset. Try to do things you enjoy when you are awake even if it is at night. When you teach the brains of being awake is OK, when it is acceptable, you will sleep really well. This particular episode that you were commenting on is kind of complex and a lot of people don’t really need that one. So I would say just browse the channel, check out all the new episodes, and I think you’ll learn a lot that will truly help you!

Oh yes! Not only to anxiety but all inner struggles

Totally get it Stephanie. I’d say consider reading my book “Why we don’t sleep” It goes over exactly this. It explains why academia, media, bloggers, everyone wants your attention because that’s how they can sell you things or sell advertising. But if you look at studies, there’s never been any study that has shown how insomnia or short sleep causes any problems whatsoever. In fact studies that have included millions of people have shown that those with insomnia have the exact same life expectancy as those without!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 thank you so much

Anytime!!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 You’re amazing Daniel! God bless you!

So glad you’re here Brenda 😊

Hi Shawn, I know this isn’t easy in any any way, but when we say “still” if often shows thaw we expected something to change as a result of something we did. For example we expected to sleep by acknowledging anxiety, which means we had some intent, and then we so easily create sleep efforts. But just seeing this alone, it helps so much Shawn. Spend a little time learning here and I think it will make more and more sense

What kind of test is this? I feel is some problem in my brain because when I try to sleep after waking early in the morning, my brain pressure me not to sleep back even if I am trying to be calm. Is there any blood/ hormone test for insomnia. My psychiatrist told me my insomnia is due to psychological issues but I don't feel like

We also teach something like this, that insomnia isn’t a disease the we need tests for, but a misunderstanding where education truly helps

Oh yes it’s BedTyme

Hi Mario, This is a common and important question! What impact depression and anxiety have are very common questions. And a lot of people wonder if they can sleep well when they are depressed or when they have anxiety. People also often ask if insomnia will cause them to be more depressed or have more anxiety. I think of it in a very different way. I think that depression or anxiety or chronic fatigue or insomnia all come from the same place - a place of avoidance. The human experience is full of discomfort. And a lot of that is emotional discomfort. Sadness for example has a practical purpose, is there so we play dead when we face overwhelming odds. Anxiety is there for safety when we are facing and I’m certain threats. Now our human brains are survival machines and they are always there to keep us safe. But nowadays, when there is less physical traits around us, the brain can easily get confused. When the brain starts looking at sadness as a threat, a problem, something that we have too much of, something that we need to get away from, that’s when the sadness gets really sticky. Just like the more we try to escape from wakefulness the more insomnia we have, the more we try to escape sadness the more depressed we become. And when we try to escape the emotion of anxiety, we become more and more anxious. It is very similar to how when we try to escape thoughts that are unpleasant, when we try to shut off the brain, we get racing thoughts. So I think it is very helpful to apply everything you learn about insomnia to depression or anxiety and you’ll find it really helpful I believe.

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Ok, Thank you soo much!! 🙏🏼🙏🏼 makes sense ! 🙏🏼🙏🏼

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I’m re-reading this, As now that I’ve fixed my anxiety thanks to you, Im now feeling low moods and depressed. 2 questions, What do you mean by: Sadness for example has a practical purpose, What dose that mean? Q2: Would you say we can beat depression in the same way we beat insomnia and anxiety in the way that the more we think that we are depressed the more we will be? Same way the more we think we can’t sleep the more we won’t. Meaning in essence, if I ignore the sadness and low moods or just I say not focus on the emotion and carry on anyway and try enjoy life ? Eventually depression will leave? Thank a lot!

Hi Mario, Yes you know, it’s quite common to feel sad when we fully see that there’s nothing we can do to sleep…at first. Then when we see that this means we are free to do whatever we like, the sadness can turn into relief. What I mean is - imagine that we have tried to grab an apple from a tree for hours, we have tried every thing we could think of… but we can’t get it… then we feel sad and stop trying… the sadness here has the practical purpose of making sure we don’t spend days trying to get that Apple, which would be not helpful survival wise! There’s imho no way to beat an emotion! In fact MLK is to have said “if it’s peace we want, our means must be peaceful”, this is how our inner conflicts are resolved as well. When we abandon the fight… then there is no fight. And this is different from ignoring. Ignoring is an attempt to achieve peace in a forceful way… but when we acknowledge everything we feel, with kindness and without judgement towards ourselves… then that to me is abandoning the struggle.

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 I see that makes sense, Well I’m currently experiencing quite strong depression, I feel low, empty, and no motivation for anything or even the things I like. How do I deal with it? Can depression be best without Physiotherapy or meds?

Hi Amiel, it is indeed normal that when problem solving is the problem, then we have more of a problem the more we try to fix it. It’s quite tricky but if you spend some time here you’ll see it!!

Hi Amiel, you know if we try more and more to control sleep… we will have more and more struggle, this is true

Hi! You know this is one of the most common myths out there. I think it often feels that way, you sleep very little, you feel foggy, can't think straight, all kinds of bizarre things are happening - it feels like you're about to go crazy! But no, short sleep or insomnia doesn't cause any damage to your brain and it can't make you go mad!

@@thesleepcoachschool8192 Thank you Coach. Are there any links I can read more about this

Hi Kaitlyn, I’d say phobia and anxiety are really the same thing, just two ways we express fear. So when we say anxiety can be heightened by a phobia I think yes, it’s like we say fear can lead to fear. Now the answer is actually also fear, meaning - a willingness to experience it and teach our brain it’s not dangerous, so it boils down to intent. If intent with medication is to make fear go away, that’s tricky. If the intent is “this will make it easier for me to be scared, make me more okay with being anxious”, that can help